The Longer Road

The Longer Road

For people with multiple marginalized identities who may feel behind because they’ve had to work harder to overcome structural barriers. We‘re providing hope, support, and knowing that you‘re not alone.


March 31, 2023 54 min

It's easy to grow up with basically 0% scientifically correct information about what fatness means. And we're trained to look at fat bodies and make a bunch of assumptions. 

Sophia Apostol, host of the Fat Joy podcast, is here to share about the TRUTH of both lived experience and some science. And for more science, please go listen to these episodes of the Fat Joy podcast that we mentioned: 

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You may have internalized the message as a child that there was something wrong or bad about you. 

Today's message is simple: You were not a bad child. You deserved love and support in a way that made sense to you. 

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Capitalism has convinced us we have a lot of problems that we need to pay to fix. Surface-level problems usually have a product you can buy to "fix" them. Deep problems, such as feeling unworthy, don't have an easy fix.


If you are seeking to change or heal something, some general approaches I've seen work really well are:

  1. Having it reflected back to you that this is totally normal and understandable
  2. Unconditional positive reg...
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March 10, 2023 28 min

Why and how you may want to take a mental health day. Some specifics around truly restful rest in a variety of situations from employment to taking care of kids.


Book mentioned: 

Rest is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey 


Three more days to enroll in Three Keys to Lazy Magic

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March 2, 2023 27 min

Every creative and interesting person has experienced the feeling that at least some of their big dreams are impossible. And when the current big dream is just surviving, that can be especially challenging. 


I share about the emotional side of the ten years when my composition career had an almost 100% rejection rate. 


And I share why I'm giving this unusual advice... 

It can be healthy to temporarily let go of dreams that are ...

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The longer the timescale for even big desires/goals, the easier they feel in my brain. This episode covers why traditional goal-setting doesn't work for my brain, and what I'm currently doing instead. 


There is nothing wrong with you if traditional goal-setting doesn't work for you!

Expanding into more safety is always more effective than trying to force ourselves to do things we don't feel safe doing. 

And if Goal Stacking sound...

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February 17, 2023 28 min

Since the podcast launched 448 days ago with an introduction to me... turns out I've changed! This intro covers the big identity updates that currently feel important: 

  • Reckoning again with my ideas about masculinity now that people are gendering me male more often in public
  • Ehlers-Danlos (EDS) diagnosis 
  • Re-self-diagnosing with ADHD after complex-PTSD symptoms have lessened significantly while ADHD symptoms remain
  • Spirituality...
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Kimber is in rebel mode. Years after leaving the Mormon church, she continues to deconstruct everything she was taught about how the world works... including the concept of worthiness, and how we perform in order to earn love. 

She asked loved ones to create a ritual around giving birth to her own voice, and learned the power of silence. 

Three books were mentioned:

Rest is Resistance: A Manifseto by Tricia Hersey

In Praise of Slow...

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February 3, 2023 12 min

If the idea of a higher self feels stressful, or like some perfect goal you have to strive for...screw it! 


The concept wasn't resonating with my body lately and I explored why. 


Questions at the end: 

  1. Who are you now, and how is that deeply, beautifully enough?
  2. What if your higher self is already fully embodied here?
  3. If higher self doesn't resonate with your body, what feels better instead? 
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January 27, 2023 17 min

Excuses aren't a bad thing! And at the same time, I've been noticing how the arrow of causation in my own thinking isn't always... direct. And that's okay. 

Using two personal examples: anxiety around social events, and gearing up to re-learn how to drive, I talk about how the reasons I'm used to using in my head aren't necessarily the real reasons. And that's okay too. 

This episode is a jumping-off point for your own internal exp...

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Mary Grace Allerdice has that incredible quality of being both a calming and energizing presence all at once. I was personally very nourished by this conversation about living an exceptionally multipassionate life with the repeated theme that There is nothing wrong with us!


Find Mary Grace and her podcast Home Bodies at:

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Jen Cui shares candidly about her experiences with depression and suicidal ideation since childhood... and how her experiences of seeking mental wellness at times totally changed her direction in life.


You can find Jen at the following links:


We also mentioned

Mattia on ...

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If you like resolutions or goals and they work for you... awesome! I've found self-trust to be enormously more helpful than either. 


I'll also be sharing this year about one of my big goals: finally getting a drivers license! It may be useful to see me walk through a process that's challenging for executive function, fear, and desire. It's a complicated process for me, and hopefully that makes it interesting enough to get my brai...

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December 30, 2022 38 min
Part 2 of 2. Linda Thai has been one of the most important people in my own healing journey, especially her focus on somatic embodied integration. Over two episodes she talks about her own healing journey and how key the body was for her own process.  She also drops countless pieces of wisdom in her gentle yet direct style. This is one of my favorite podcast episodes so far!  Find Linda at her website:
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December 23, 2022 42 min

Linda Thai has been one of the most important people in my own healing journey, especially her focus on somatic embodied integration. Over two episodes she talks about her own healing journey and how key the body was for her own process. 

She also drops countless pieces of wisdom in her gentle yet direct style. This is one of my favorite podcast episodes so far! 

Find Linda at her website:

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Meg just earned her pointe shoes after starting ballet in her mid-20s, which is unusual! She's here to talk about how it helped her reconnect with her body, including after a miscarriage, and how she's learned to do it just because it's fun and not as an achievement. 

"You're never too anything to do something."

We also have a section near the end about having bad/off days, especially as autistic people, and how we deal with them!


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December 9, 2022 32 min

What do our animal bodies truly need? I've been thinking about this a lot while feeding two feral kitten siblings for the past two months. 

Inviting them inside, my goal has been to make sure that they actually enjoy moving in, if they do. It got me thinking about how we're trained to force ourselves to do things that don't feel good. 

Update: right after I finished editing this episode, both kittens showed up to hang out.

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December 2, 2022 31 min

If I could shout one thing from the rooftops right now, it would be:  YOU CAN BE HAPPY NOW, you don't have to wait for shit! 


And that is absolutely not about pretending, or papering over any real feelings. 

It's about allowing ourselves to have the full range of human emotions, even during difficult times. Because little moments of happiness (or whatever related word you prefer) arise even during big grief. 


"You are the path"...

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Can we mark an episode super-explicit? This conversation was so deep and so long that it almost became two episodes... but given the topics of sexual and creative energy, I wanted you to experience the buildup with us! 


Carlos DelaPlaya (of The Spiritual Thirst Trap Podcast) shares about the energy behind his growth in self-expression, coming out as a gay man, saying yes to your shadow, and being turned on by your journey.



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Angela Han is a lawyer, mom, and life coach... We keep finding ourselves on the same corners of the internet and her energy is amazing. 


Today she talks about how she makes BIG choices and feels BIG feelings with no shame... and how she got to that point! How to grow your capacity and enjoy life more.


Find Angela at 

Her website:

And Linkedin: @itsangelahan


We also talked about David Bedrick and his unshaming w...

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