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August 4, 2021 29 min

The relevance of shame and the effects of shame are impactful regardless of the type of coaching you do. On the surface, it may not seem applicable to some coaching but once you recognize it, the connection becomes clear. Shame can influence a wide arc of thought and behavior patterns, and everyone has a degree of shame. Because no one is immune, the goal is not to avoid shame but rather to become shame resilient.

Properly recognizing and coaching on shame is therefore highly valued. As coaches of excellence, we all want to help the whole person whenever possible. But how do you address shame in a healthy manner and in fitting in with your coaching? In this episode, marriage and family therapist Aimée Gianni and I discuss this topic, answer these questions, and give you several tips for recognizing shame.

What You’ll Learn Is shame outside the realm of qualification for some coaches?
  • Everyone has some level of shame
  • Trauma and shame -- recommended additional listening: The Masterful Coach with Molly Claire -- How to Recognize Trauma: An Interview with Jen Taylor
  • The differences between shame and guilt
  • I am versus I did
  • Indicator phrases and behaviors
  • The two types of guilt: Useful and useless
  • Things that promote shame
  • Secrecy and silence
  • Judgment
  • You are the safe place for your clients
  • Warmth with no judgment and proper neutrality
  • Space to give voice to shame and guilt
  • Recognizing disconnections from shame
  • Distancing or hiding
  • People pleasing
  • Fighting back or aggression
  • Shame resilience
  • Compassion and compassionate honesty as motivators for change
  • Courage without perfection
  • Connection through appropriate vulnerability
  • Contact Info and Recommended Resources Connect with Aimée C. Gianni, M.S.

    Aimée Gianni is a seasoned marriage and family therapist, with over 20 years’ experience. She’s a Master Coach Instructor, co-founded The Coaching Collective with Molly Claire, and together, they’ve also created Advanced Relationship Training for Certified Coaches.

  • Website:
  • Email:
  • Instagram:
  • Connect with Molly Claire
  • The Coaching Collective: -- Sign up for free monthly mastery trainings!
  • Work with Molly!
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