July 30, 2024 • 33 mins
“We came here for the contrast. On a spiritual level… it’s the full life experience” - Melanie Weller
Instagram: @embodyyourstar
Website: melanieweller.com
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Instagram: @merilyn
Website: merilyn.com
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Merilyn (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Merilyn Show.
Today's guest is MelanieWeller.
Melanie (00:05):
For example, it's really important to know your
prototype.
Like what is your like what isyour relationship with time?
Some people are more morningpeople, and some people are more
evening people.
And to use your best time to dothe things that you love.
Merilyn (00:22):
Melanie is called by her patients the bone whisperer
or the body whisperer.
We go everywhere in thisconversation about how our
bodies react to or teach usabout time, how to align our
nervous systems with the solarsystem, yep, and how our
relationship with time impactseverything from our bodies,
(00:43):
minds, and relationships.
It's a goodie.
Welcome back to the show,Melanie.
I brought you here specificallyfor this topic around time
because I was fascinated to knowyour take on the relationship
of our or our relationship withtime with the body.
(01:04):
Now, for those who don't knowyou, let's just explore or let's
just share a little bit aboutwhat you do, what your
background is.
Because look, I fell in lovewith your work and the
fascinating link between thenervous system, our bodies, the
vagus nerve, and the soulsystem.
So can you uh first of allwelcome and uh give anyone who
(01:27):
doesn't know what you do just alittle short introduction?
Melanie (01:31):
Okay, thank you, Merilyn.
This is you uh being with youis one of my absolute favorite
places to be.
So I'm very uh happy andhonored to be back here.
Um my uh my background startedin athletic training and
physical therapy.
Uh I brand myself now as aneurotologist.
(01:51):
But uh I really take um I overthe years, what I uh I will say
maybe not really or without alot of intention to start with,
but it uh I became a vagus nerveexpert in really treating the
vagus nerve as a pinch nerve inthe body and developed a system
(02:15):
of evaluation and treatment thatI have found very successful in
treating complex chronic pain,mental health issues, and people
that nobody else could figureout.
The word that is uh thatdescribes a lot of those people
(02:35):
that's very popular on socialmedia right now is nervous
system dysregulation.
The but in the midst of my ownuh midlife crisis when my life
was upside down and none of myevidence-based knowledge was
particularly useful to figureout what was happening with me,
(02:56):
I reached out to an astrologeruh recommended by one of the
most grounded people I know thatwas the dean of students at a
major university.
So it, you know, I didn't comefrom like a from a uh a woo-woo
(03:17):
kind of connection.
I had somebody with a very bigposition said, you should
consult an astrologer, and I youknow, and had a recommendation
for me.
What unfolded after that was soin astrology there's a body
part associated with each sign.
And because of my background inanatomy, I recognized that each
(03:41):
sign was the same shape as thebody that it was associated
with.
Merilyn (03:47):
Like visual shape.
Melanie (03:49):
Visual shape, the like geometry, like the geometry of
it was the same.
And even uh and even somemolecular shapes were the same
with the same archetypalfunction.
It really just well, so I willsay one, it blew my mind that
you know, to think that like,oh, we're made in the image of
(04:09):
the zodiac is is reallyincredible.
That's what being made in theimage of God really means.
And there are angles in thebody that you know, because of
my biomechanical knowledge, whenI looked at the angle of the
(04:30):
Earth's processional cycle andthe angle between the pole stars
that our Earth orients towardsover thousands of years, I was
like, oh, I know where all ofthose angles are in the body.
And they're in places thatdrive large amounts of people to
the doctor.
And those archetypalexpressions of the zodiac in the
(04:53):
body like also explain howentire populations, like, or I
believe explain why entirepopulations have higher
incidences of some diseases,because they they tell the story
of how we embody stress.
And medically, we know thatstress is 75 to 90 percent of
all disease and dysfunction, butwe don't we don't really talk
(05:17):
about what stress is.
We tend to uh we talk about alot of tools that you can use to
mitigate stress, but we don'treally define or categorize
particular types of stress, uh,I think in a lot of detail for
the most part.
Psychologists do it better thananyone in like in a hospital
setting does.
You know, it's certainly notsomething that uh I have seen
(05:40):
physicians, nurses, physicaltherapists get a lot of
education, uh, at least not intheir foundational education.
It's something that they mightget more on later.
You know, as everything, um,you know, I would say I've
really struggled over the years,even though I can see all the
connections with the vagus nerveand the cosmos.
And I know that there's allsorts of amazing research about
(06:00):
how solar and space weather,when it disrupts the
electromagnetic field of theearth, it's measurable in our
vagus nerves.
And there's evidence about howcertain ratios of cosmic ray
activity and geomagneticactivity and solar activity
contribute to heart attacks andstrokes and accidents and car
accidents and cancer andsuicide.
(06:23):
So there's some reallyinteresting studies out there.
Where it all really started togel for me is in thinking about
thinking about our health, orjust and I'll say health just
because that's my background,but even the things that
happened to us in our lives,that really everything is our
relationship with time.
You know, when I when I thinkabout all of this artificial
intelligence that we have rightnow, I think how important it is
(06:45):
to really know our realintelligence.
And historically, our realintelligence was our
relationship with time.
It was our relationship withthe movement of the movement of
the stars was which told us howthe earth's cycles were moving,
is the story of the earth'sprocessional.
The cycles and and then theequinoxes and solstices were our
(07:06):
seasons, and the moon is ourrelationship with, you know, the
moon told us the time of themonth, and the sun told us the
time of the day.
And astrology is really thisvery beautiful time-keeping
cycle.
Well, you think back to oldlike farmers and agriculture and
how we it was all they didn'thave watches clocks, it was by
(07:26):
the where the moon was and wherethe sun was and what what
season it was.
It was very was of differentrelationship to time.
Merilyn (07:35):
Absolutely.
And you know, and historicallyour cultural and religious
rituals helped us align ournervous systems with the time,
with the solar system.
You know, there were alwaysthere were celebrations for all
the equinoxes and solstices and..
Yeah, there was.
Melanie (07:50):
You know, and full moons and new moons.
And so we really revolve likewe we had a lot of rituals
around time historically.
Whereas now that's seen it'sseen a little bit extreme now,
isn't it?
It seemed a bit woo-woo, itseems, but actually back then it
was that was life.
Merilyn (08:10):
Right.
But we're wired, like we're,you know, we have parts of our
brain that mediate your lightand dark cycles.
Yeah, you know, like our brain,like we are really wired to be
in sync with time, with the withthe natural time, you know,
with the cycles.
Melanie (08:25):
It's why um people on night shift or even travel our
circadian rhythms and it's allrelated to our body's
relationship with time, isn'tit?
Merilyn (08:36):
Absolutely.
And you know, as we've had, atleast in the United States, this
decline in church attendanceover the last, you know, I don't
know, at least 10 or 20 years.
It's I think been a littlesharper.
There nervous system regulationas an industry has evolved, you
know, has come into being.
And so we're sort of replacing,you know, we're finding kind of
a secular way to get some ofthe same benefits.
(09:00):
I know we're not going to talkabout time, but uh uh, or we're
here to talk about time.
But spiritual, I'll just put doa little side note that
spirituality is more protectivefor your mental health than
anything else that we know.
These the statistics on it areastounding.
And if you had a mother thatwas spiritual, it's like you are
(09:21):
wildly protected against mentalhealth issues.
Wow.
I've never heard that factbefore.
That's incredible.
Melanie (09:31):
It's it it really is, and you know, and this is
separating out being spiritualbut not religious, it's your own
personal, like yourrelationship with the with
reality in the bigger, you know,in the bigger picture.
And your inner self and yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, but this disconnectionthat we have from time in the uh
or from creation, and I'm good,and I think creation and time
(09:54):
are very are synonymous, reallythe same thing that is called
species loneliness.
And really, it's you know, thatloneliness for your place in
the bigger of things.
Merilyn (10:07):
Is it a lack of purpose or is it just a lack of place?
Melanie (10:10):
It is, it's but yeah, it's very much connected to
purpose.
Right.
I don't know these exactly theeffects of uh the statistics
around if or if there are anystatistics yet around health and
species loneliness, but Ireally do believe it underlies,
it helps to explain pain, likechronic pain, addiction, you
(10:31):
know, and many of our issues.
But we do know that seriousloneliness is the equivalent of
smoking 15 cigarettes a day onyour body.
And 36% of people in the UnitedStates have serious loneliness.
Merilyn (10:45):
Define serious loneliness?
Is that a medical term or is itjust a medical term?
Melanie (10:53):
Diagnosable loneliness.
You know, something that's morethat's ongoing chronic, okay,
you know, affecting your life ona day-to-day basis.
Merilyn (11:05):
So even though someone might be um they might live in a
city around other people, workaround other people, they could
still feel that sense ofloneliness deep in their deep in
their own.
Melanie (11:21):
Yeah.
I mean, you could l you couldlive in your with your family
and feel it.
Like you can be, you know, youcan spend plenty of time around
people and still haveloneliness.
You know, even anxiety is ouris it can be thought of as a
relationship with time wherewe're when we're anxious, we're
we're in the past or in thefuture.
Merilyn (11:41):
I've heard that before that might be too an
oversimplification, but anxietyis a fear of what might happen
in the future, and depression isthe relationship to the past.
Don't know if it's that clearcut, but yeah, it is a little
right.
Melanie (11:56):
But there's you know, so there's so people are like
there's a lot of we talk about alot of, you know, like so it's
not mental health.
It's not a relationship withtime, doesn't it?
It does, it messes up ourrelationship with time.
It does.
And my background is really, Ihave a lot of experience in
treating people in suicideideation and suicide planning.
And, you know, to think aboutsuicide, that's the ultimate
(12:20):
getting out of time, you know,getting out of earth time.
It is, yeah.
Space and time.
And absolutely right.
At least the for the peoplethat I've seen, the thing that
they all have in common is thateven though they're out walking
and talking and moving and athrough the world in a way that
you wouldn't pick up asabnormal, when you really look
(12:43):
at their fine biomechanics andreally look at how their uh
their joints are moving, theyare compensating very heavily at
every joint head to toe.
And it's kind of like they'rein rigor mortis already.
Wow.
(13:04):
Because they're so if I mean,if I was really gonna put
objective measurement on theirjoints and where they stopped
moving and where they startedpulling in other joints to
continue the movement, you know,like if but with just the pure
joint movement, they're superstiff.
And I really think they're justtrying to match on the outside
what's happening on the inside.
(13:25):
Because when you give them theability to move normally, their
mindset, their suicide ideationcompletely shifts.
And they will even come out ofsuicide planning.
So our relationship with timeis, you know, I mean, and we're
all going to die.
We know that's the truth atsome point.
But our relationship with timeis just so you know fundamental
(13:49):
to happen.
Resistant, we push it.
Oh, resistant, right, right.
We're all trying to push itaway.
And we, you know, we value, atleast in the West, Western
cultures, we tend to value howlong you lived versus how well
you lived, over how well youlived.
Merilyn (14:11):
Even this glorification of youth is a relationship with
time, isn't it?
And the the fact thatanti-aging industry is a
billion, billion dollarindustry.
Melanie (14:21):
Absolutely.
And all of the functionalmedicine and alternative health
kind of things in at least inthe that the MDs the uh are
doing has been relabeledlongevity medicine.
Time.
So we are really trying tofigure out how to optimize our
(14:41):
time here, you know, and we usethe word time all the time, you
know, it's breakfast time,playtime.
Merilyn (14:50):
Oh uh we're even giving um our schedules over to AI
bots to organize our time.
Melanie (14:58):
Absolutely.
And when we think about time,using it well, I'll say so.
In astrology, Saturn is the godof time.
And people that are able tobetter manage their time to
manifest what they want in life,have a lot of behavior that is
in astrology would be consideredvery Saturn-like, that they're
(15:18):
consistent, they're disciplined,that they do their meditation,
they do their exercise, youknow, they get their self-care,
they get their work done.
Like those are very Saturnianqualities.
You know, or to have that kindof structure to your to your
day.
Merilyn (15:36):
But we're not all like that, are we?
Uh personalities aren't alwayslike that.
Melanie (15:41):
Totally right.
And absolutely, but we are alsoall we all have
neuroplasticity.
So we can train our nervoussystems, do something different
than what we're doing.
And it doesn't mean that youwill, you know, you can still
keep your identity, like you canyou can still have structure to
your day and still have yourpersonality and be the be the
(16:03):
lovable you that you are.
It doesn't mean that you haveto completely switch into being
another person.
Yeah.
Merilyn (16:09):
So bringing a little bit of that Saturn, that god of
time into our days or even intoour bodies, could we bring that
into absolutely who we are?
Melanie (16:22):
Yes, and just having rituals, like rituals are a very
Saturn, you know, or couldcould be considered a very, you
know, that structure that I'mgonna start my day doing this.
Merilyn (16:31):
You said the decline in church, decline in those
rituals has had an effect.
Melanie (16:39):
Absolutely.
And the church as anorganization or an institution
as an institution is a verySaturnian kind of thing.
You know, and but as a movementexpert, you know, with my
background in physical therapy,like we can use certain
movements to target specificareas of the brain where time is
(17:02):
processed so that we can startliving the time of our lives.
Merilyn (17:05):
And probably get more done.
Melanie (17:08):
We can get more done, we can have more joy while we're
doing it.
We can, even when it's hard, wecan navigate it more
successfully, losing ourtempers, less yelling, less
being more present with themoment, being having some
altitude over the situation, youknow, not being so reactive,
(17:29):
but you know, thinking biggerpicture.
And the neuroscience and theastrology of this really match
up nicely.
Merilyn (17:41):
Are you gonna share some of those tips?
In some ways, yes.
Because this is so differentto, you know, if you bring up
the discussion of time andpeople automatically go to,
well, productivity, let's bemore organized, that kind of
thing.
But this is a very differentway of hacking time.
Melanie (18:02):
Yes.
It it it is a different way ofhacking time.
And, you know..
Merilyn (18:07):
I hate that word by the way.
Melanie (18:09):
It's it's just yes, I do too.
I do too.
But when we have like, and it'sit's um, you know, like what we
really want with productivityis we want present productivity.
Like I know the research in thebusiness world says that in an
eight-hour day, there's onlythree hours of productivity.
Well, so like what's happening,you know.
So we're spending, you know,many people are spending eight
(18:29):
hours of work, eight hours atwork, and only getting, you
know, there's five hours oftheir lives every day that
they're lost, missing out on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so how can you use uh, likemaybe not to be more
productive, but to have better,you know, to have more me time
or to have more of the time thatyou want to have, you know,
(18:50):
that if you want more play time,you want more sexy time, you
want more together, you know,more family time, you know, to
have autonomy over your time isreally powerful.
Merilyn (19:01):
And is that kind of almost expanding that three
hours into, you know, if we'vegot three hours of productive,
focused work, can these, canthis understanding of what
you're teaching us and some ofthese exercises help expand that
to be longer or bigger, or isit more making the most out of
(19:23):
those three hours?
What's your thoughts there?
Melanie (19:26):
I think it's I I I mean, yes, I think it can help
you reset, it can help youexpand that for sure.
For example, it's reallyimportant to know your
chronotype.
Like what is your like what isyour relationship with time?
Some people are more morningpeople and some people are more
evening people.
And to use your best time to dothe things that you love, you
(19:49):
know, and especially, I know alot of people don't have as much
choice, but if you're anentrepreneur or um especially,
you know, like like arecertainly on your days off to
really optimize your hours to dothe things that you love.
Parts of the body that go withuh Saturn are skin and bones.
(20:10):
Bones are really cool.
They're at the uh you're likeyour long bones in your leg.
If you put the cells under orput the bone tissue under a
microscope, it's organized inconcentric circles, like the
like Saturn's rings.
Merilyn (20:22):
Like a tree.
Like a tree.
Like a tree.
Melanie (20:26):
Yes, rings like a tree.
And in metaphysics, bones,crystals, and rocks hold our
oldest memories.
And bone and skin, bone, andmemory are very tied together in
human physiology.
You know, and as we age, whathappens?
We get os, we lose bone tissue,we get osteoporosis, we get
(20:48):
skin changes, you know, we'rewrinkling, and our memory
Merilyn (20:54):
Well it's true they find an old skeleton or a mummy
mummy, they it's amazing whatthey can tell now by something
in the body.
Melanie (21:05):
Yep, yep.
Our bones are the longestmemory that stays here on memory
of us that stays here on earth.
Elephants will go and take abone of their ancestors and
carry it around.
Merilyn (21:15):
Of course.
Yes.
Melanie (21:18):
Just in terms of being uh present, like we can like we
are all undertouched andungrounded for the most part.
And just giving yourself thegift of patting yourself gently
all over your body or rubbingyour feet with a cloth can
(21:43):
really bring you into the momentand give you the ability to be
focused, to be more present, youknow, to use the time that you
have really beautifully.
So that's one simple thing thatyou can do.
There's rituals like uh likebig.
Movements like dancing andstomping.
(22:06):
Like they load your bones andthey get those movements get to
the parts deep in your brainthat mediate time.
Merilyn (22:16):
So if we're feeling a little bit overwhelmed or
frustrated, perhaps jumping up,putting on your favorite song
and dancing around the room willhelp us.
Melanie (22:27):
Absolutely.
Really, what these uh exercisesare can do is like they help
with constraints, you know, thatwe're giving.
And we need constraint,moderate constraints in order to
be productive.
Merilyn (22:44):
We think of the the phrase time restraint, isn't it?
It's a it's a phrase we use,putting time restraints,
buckets, absolutely, puttingtime.
Windows of time, windows oftime, blocks of time.
Melanie (22:56):
Absolutely.
And you can I would say bookendyour time with...
Merilyn (23:02):
I like that phrase
Melanie (23:04):
By stimulating uh the parts of your nervous system
that are associated, you know,that associated with time.
And you know, if you'relistening, like you you really
don't like.
I can I get very specific withthis when I teach, but you can
having a little more touch, likereminding yourself where your
own boundaries are, like yourskin is your boundary with the
(23:27):
rest of the world.
Merilyn (23:28):
Ah, that's right.
Melanie (23:31):
You know, and to your bones are your internal
boundaries, your skin is yourexternal boundary.
So those are, you know, thoseare the constraints, you know,
our outer and inner.
But then we can bookend ourtime that, you know, you work
like I'm writing my book rightnow.
And so I'll do some kind ofvagus nerve or nervous system
(23:53):
exercise, write my book, andthen take, you know, set a
timer, take a break, you know,or sometimes I did say I don't
always set a timer, but when Istop, I'll get up and do
something else.
So I'm bookending that time.
Yep.
And then I can sit back downand do more.
Contrast is the language of thenervous system.
Neurons fire, they don't.
(24:15):
There's no in between.
And when we are taking uh havewhen we are focusing, when our
eyes are coming together on ourlaptops and our cell phones all
day long, we need to go dosomething else.
Gaze at the clouds.
Yep.
Even just to look up and followlike the line of a piece of
(24:40):
furniture.
Merilyn (24:41):
It's I know I've pre-positioned my desk where I
can, if I just rise up a bit,because I've got a big screen,
I've got to look out, see thepastures, the fields, the horses
running around.
And it's actually been sohealthy for me to do that rather
than just have a wall in frontof me.
Melanie (24:59):
Absolutely.
Well, and you're really doingan eye exercise in a very
organic way that's supportingyour nervous system.
Merilyn (25:10):
Yes.
Melanie (25:10):
So there's there are tons of uh ways that you could
experience contrast, even ifit's looking at purple flowers
against yellow ones or the redrose against its green stem
because those are opposite onthe color wheel.
Merilyn (25:23):
I love that.
Melanie (25:24):
But but we don't take in, like we really, you know,
when we look at things, most ofus don't really look at the
detail in things, you know, andreally take it in and almost,
you know, we're, you know, we'reso glazed over from screen
time.
So just being present enough toreally look at things in more
(25:47):
detail can be very therapeutic.
You know, even if it'ssomething in your home like a a
throw pillow that you're lookingat the piping on the edges, you
know, or how the stitching wasdone and the colors and the
pattern, you know, it doesn'thave to be anything super
technical or fancy.
Though for some people, there,I mean, there are ways to, you
(26:09):
know, there are can be benefits.
We don't always intuitively tryto fill our own gaps.
Like if we have, uh, we might,you know, we might prefer to
look to the right, but we mightneed more to the left.
And so that's where, you know,having somebody to help
facilitate or, you know,learning more about nervous
system regulation in general canbe helpful.
We even when we have knee painor back pain, you know, those
(26:31):
things really interfere with ourrelationship with time because
we can't do the things that wewant to do, but we don't really
think, you know, and we havecycles of illness and
difficulties in our life, justlike we have cycles of ease, you
know, where things are a littlebit easier or happier, but the
(26:52):
world is always filled withcontrast.
Merilyn (26:55):
That is so true.
And we don't, isn't itinteresting that we could look
at, I was just when you weretalking there, you go, okay, so
I could look at my screen, or Icould look at the horses
outside, or I could look atblack and white, I could look at
the contrast, I look at thedetails, which also, by the way,
keeps us really focused on now,isn't it?
The present moment, which isanother timey show.
(27:16):
But what if we instead ofseeing our tough times as wrong,
we just saw it as contrast.
Wouldn't that change everythingin us?
It it has changed my life andhow I see this.
Is just hitting me as I'msitting here.
Oh my gosh, it's contrast.
(27:38):
And even we could go, allright, so let's look at the
other com commodity, money.
Why can't we see it?
Maybe we're a little bit skint,just see it as contrast to
another time.
Melanie (27:52):
Yeah, right.
Wealth versus scarcity is yeah,contrast.
It's contrast.
And you know, there's a wholewhen you it's so powerful.
And because those because painand pleasure are processed very
similarly in the brain, and soor in similar areas, you you
(28:12):
know, there's a lot of overlap.
And so when you can like one,take the charge out of things,
calling them good or bad, oryeah, this or that or whatever,
by just the danger happens.
It is right, because there's awe have emotional reactions to
words that we can say, oh, it'syou know, that it's contrast.
(28:34):
Then we can also think aboutit's also very powerful to think
about how much we enjoy thecontrast in our lives.
Like, how much are you reallyenjoying that thing that you
desire?
Like, so you need like so youwant more free time, you don't
have it.
So you're consciously you'renot enjoying it, but your
subconscious is loving it.
(28:56):
And if you can tap into thedeliciousness that your survival
brain is getting out of it, outof that, because it's
fundamentally a protectiveresponse, being able to tap into
that pleasure isextraordinarily powerful in
creating change.
Like, don't I just love it whenpeople interrupt me all day
(29:16):
long and I get nothing done?
Or how much do I loveprocrastinating on my book?
And that can really unwind yourbody in very objective,
measurable ways.
And I fundamentally think thatwe are here for the contrast on
a spiritual level.
That we came here for thecontrast.
Merilyn (29:36):
Wow.
Melanie (29:36):
And it's not that it's ever or always easy, but it's
the it's the full lifeexperience.
You know, we have a North Poleand a South Pole on the earth,
you know, the contrast is justthe language of the nervous
system and the way ourneurotransmitter cycles work
with the stories that we live.
There's lots of contrast in howthat happens as well.
(30:00):
Fundamentally, your nervoussystem just won't let you live a
boring story.
Like you wouldn't go to a movieor read a book.
Merilyn (30:09):
That's so true.
Melanie (30:11):
Yeah, you wouldn't go to a movie or read a book and
rave about it to your friends ifit didn't have enough contrast
in it because it would beboring.
And uh you our nervous systemsare more afraid of being bored
than they are of anything else,of having trauma and drama.
Boredom is the biggest threatfor sure.
Merilyn (30:31):
It's probably why nobody lives adult story.
It's probably why we sit andscroll through TikTok all day.
We don't want to be bored.
Melanie (30:38):
Absolutely, absolutely.
When my kids were young, I toldthem uh, and they would tell me
they were bored.
I said, being bored is a veryimportant skill.
But you know, nobody wantsnobody really wants to be bored.
No.
Merilyn (30:53):
The whole entertainment industry is based on on that.
Melanie (30:57):
Absolutely, absolutely, yeah.
And your nervous system just itwill not let you live a boring
story.
I've not met anybody whosestory I think is
Merilyn (31:06):
It needs that contrast.
Melanie (31:08):
It we absolutely need that contrast.
It's what you know, sleep-wakecycles are contrast.
Like we get out of, you know,getting yourself out of bed is,
you know, standing versussitting, you know, or standing
versus lying down is contrast,eating versus fasting is
contrast.
And we use, you know, when wewant change in our lives, we use
that constrained contrast tohelp create it.
(31:29):
So, like uh, if we want to loseweight, maybe we do
intermittent fasting.
So we alter the timing of ourmeals.
And if we're doing exercise, wedo interval training, like
we're our exercise, or we're,you know, spending a certain
amount of time on a machine atthe gym or on a walk, and you
know, and we have a time a daythat we do the timed activity.
(31:52):
And so we really layer, youknow, these are all our
relationship with time.
Merilyn (31:58):
Melanie, this has been uh a fascinating chat, a
different approach tounderstanding time.
And for me, it's the bigness ofit, and just it's just not the
hours, the the minutes tickingby, but there's a bigger thing
to consider, which has been veryrefreshing.
What would you like to leavethe listeners with before we
(32:25):
wrap up this conversation?
Melanie (32:26):
Several years now, my brand has been fearless
presence, and it's like in thatis still true.
And to me, you get fearlesspresence is the union of modern
science and ancient science, sothat you can have the time of
your life.
Merilyn (32:44):
Time of your life, love it.
Melanie (32:47):
And that you can be fearlessly present and have
fearless presence in everymoment of your life, whether
you're on stage in theboardroom, the family room, the
bedroom, the zoom room, youknow, wherever you are.
Um, yeah, be fearlesslypresent.
Merilyn (33:07):
Thank you.
Melanie (33:09):
Thank you, Merilyn.
Hello and welcome to the Merilyn Show.
Today's guest is MelanieWeller.
Melanie (00:05):
For example, it's really important to know your
prototype.
Like what is your like what isyour relationship with time?
Some people are more morningpeople, and some people are more
evening people.
And to use your best time to dothe things that you love.
Merilyn (00:22):
Melanie is called by her patients the bone whisperer
or the body whisperer.
We go everywhere in thisconversation about how our
bodies react to or teach usabout time, how to align our
nervous systems with the solarsystem, yep, and how our
relationship with time impactseverything from our bodies,
(00:43):
minds, and relationships.
It's a goodie.
Welcome back to the show,Melanie.
I brought you here specificallyfor this topic around time
because I was fascinated to knowyour take on the relationship
of our or our relationship withtime with the body.
(01:04):
Now, for those who don't knowyou, let's just explore or let's
just share a little bit aboutwhat you do, what your
background is.
Because look, I fell in lovewith your work and the
fascinating link between thenervous system, our bodies, the
vagus nerve, and the soulsystem.
So can you uh first of allwelcome and uh give anyone who
(01:27):
doesn't know what you do just alittle short introduction?
Melanie (01:31):
Okay, thank you, Merilyn.
This is you uh being with youis one of my absolute favorite
places to be.
So I'm very uh happy andhonored to be back here.
Um my uh my background startedin athletic training and
physical therapy.
Uh I brand myself now as aneurotologist.
(01:51):
But uh I really take um I overthe years, what I uh I will say
maybe not really or without alot of intention to start with,
but it uh I became a vagus nerveexpert in really treating the
vagus nerve as a pinch nerve inthe body and developed a system
(02:15):
of evaluation and treatment thatI have found very successful in
treating complex chronic pain,mental health issues, and people
that nobody else could figureout.
The word that is uh thatdescribes a lot of those people
(02:35):
that's very popular on socialmedia right now is nervous
system dysregulation.
The but in the midst of my ownuh midlife crisis when my life
was upside down and none of myevidence-based knowledge was
particularly useful to figureout what was happening with me,
(02:56):
I reached out to an astrologeruh recommended by one of the
most grounded people I know thatwas the dean of students at a
major university.
So it, you know, I didn't comefrom like a from a uh a woo-woo
(03:17):
kind of connection.
I had somebody with a very bigposition said, you should
consult an astrologer, and I youknow, and had a recommendation
for me.
What unfolded after that was soin astrology there's a body
part associated with each sign.
And because of my background inanatomy, I recognized that each
(03:41):
sign was the same shape as thebody that it was associated
with.
Merilyn (03:47):
Like visual shape.
Melanie (03:49):
Visual shape, the like geometry, like the geometry of
it was the same.
And even uh and even somemolecular shapes were the same
with the same archetypalfunction.
It really just well, so I willsay one, it blew my mind that
you know, to think that like,oh, we're made in the image of
(04:09):
the zodiac is is reallyincredible.
That's what being made in theimage of God really means.
And there are angles in thebody that you know, because of
my biomechanical knowledge, whenI looked at the angle of the
(04:30):
Earth's processional cycle andthe angle between the pole stars
that our Earth orients towardsover thousands of years, I was
like, oh, I know where all ofthose angles are in the body.
And they're in places thatdrive large amounts of people to
the doctor.
And those archetypalexpressions of the zodiac in the
(04:53):
body like also explain howentire populations, like, or I
believe explain why entirepopulations have higher
incidences of some diseases,because they they tell the story
of how we embody stress.
And medically, we know thatstress is 75 to 90 percent of
all disease and dysfunction, butwe don't we don't really talk
(05:17):
about what stress is.
We tend to uh we talk about alot of tools that you can use to
mitigate stress, but we don'treally define or categorize
particular types of stress, uh,I think in a lot of detail for
the most part.
Psychologists do it better thananyone in like in a hospital
setting does.
You know, it's certainly notsomething that uh I have seen
(05:40):
physicians, nurses, physicaltherapists get a lot of
education, uh, at least not intheir foundational education.
It's something that they mightget more on later.
You know, as everything, um,you know, I would say I've
really struggled over the years,even though I can see all the
connections with the vagus nerveand the cosmos.
And I know that there's allsorts of amazing research about
(06:00):
how solar and space weather,when it disrupts the
electromagnetic field of theearth, it's measurable in our
vagus nerves.
And there's evidence about howcertain ratios of cosmic ray
activity and geomagneticactivity and solar activity
contribute to heart attacks andstrokes and accidents and car
accidents and cancer andsuicide.
(06:23):
So there's some reallyinteresting studies out there.
Where it all really started togel for me is in thinking about
thinking about our health, orjust and I'll say health just
because that's my background,but even the things that
happened to us in our lives,that really everything is our
relationship with time.
You know, when I when I thinkabout all of this artificial
intelligence that we have rightnow, I think how important it is
(06:45):
to really know our realintelligence.
And historically, our realintelligence was our
relationship with time.
It was our relationship withthe movement of the movement of
the stars was which told us howthe earth's cycles were moving,
is the story of the earth'sprocessional.
The cycles and and then theequinoxes and solstices were our
(07:06):
seasons, and the moon is ourrelationship with, you know, the
moon told us the time of themonth, and the sun told us the
time of the day.
And astrology is really thisvery beautiful time-keeping
cycle.
Well, you think back to oldlike farmers and agriculture and
how we it was all they didn'thave watches clocks, it was by
(07:26):
the where the moon was and wherethe sun was and what what
season it was.
It was very was of differentrelationship to time.
Merilyn (07:35):
Absolutely.
And you know, and historicallyour cultural and religious
rituals helped us align ournervous systems with the time,
with the solar system.
You know, there were alwaysthere were celebrations for all
the equinoxes and solstices and..
Yeah, there was.
Melanie (07:50):
You know, and full moons and new moons.
And so we really revolve likewe we had a lot of rituals
around time historically.
Whereas now that's seen it'sseen a little bit extreme now,
isn't it?
It seemed a bit woo-woo, itseems, but actually back then it
was that was life.
Merilyn (08:10):
Right.
But we're wired, like we're,you know, we have parts of our
brain that mediate your lightand dark cycles.
Yeah, you know, like our brain,like we are really wired to be
in sync with time, with the withthe natural time, you know,
with the cycles.
Melanie (08:25):
It's why um people on night shift or even travel our
circadian rhythms and it's allrelated to our body's
relationship with time, isn'tit?
Merilyn (08:36):
Absolutely.
And you know, as we've had, atleast in the United States, this
decline in church attendanceover the last, you know, I don't
know, at least 10 or 20 years.
It's I think been a littlesharper.
There nervous system regulationas an industry has evolved, you
know, has come into being.
And so we're sort of replacing,you know, we're finding kind of
a secular way to get some ofthe same benefits.
(09:00):
I know we're not going to talkabout time, but uh uh, or we're
here to talk about time.
But spiritual, I'll just put doa little side note that
spirituality is more protectivefor your mental health than
anything else that we know.
These the statistics on it areastounding.
And if you had a mother thatwas spiritual, it's like you are
(09:21):
wildly protected against mentalhealth issues.
Wow.
I've never heard that factbefore.
That's incredible.
Melanie (09:31):
It's it it really is, and you know, and this is
separating out being spiritualbut not religious, it's your own
personal, like yourrelationship with the with
reality in the bigger, you know,in the bigger picture.
And your inner self and yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, but this disconnectionthat we have from time in the uh
or from creation, and I'm good,and I think creation and time
(09:54):
are very are synonymous, reallythe same thing that is called
species loneliness.
And really, it's you know, thatloneliness for your place in
the bigger of things.
Merilyn (10:07):
Is it a lack of purpose or is it just a lack of place?
Melanie (10:10):
It is, it's but yeah, it's very much connected to
purpose.
Right.
I don't know these exactly theeffects of uh the statistics
around if or if there are anystatistics yet around health and
species loneliness, but Ireally do believe it underlies,
it helps to explain pain, likechronic pain, addiction, you
(10:31):
know, and many of our issues.
But we do know that seriousloneliness is the equivalent of
smoking 15 cigarettes a day onyour body.
And 36% of people in the UnitedStates have serious loneliness.
Merilyn (10:45):
Define serious loneliness?
Is that a medical term or is itjust a medical term?
Melanie (10:53):
Diagnosable loneliness.
You know, something that's morethat's ongoing chronic, okay,
you know, affecting your life ona day-to-day basis.
Merilyn (11:05):
So even though someone might be um they might live in a
city around other people, workaround other people, they could
still feel that sense ofloneliness deep in their deep in
their own.
Melanie (11:21):
Yeah.
I mean, you could l you couldlive in your with your family
and feel it.
Like you can be, you know, youcan spend plenty of time around
people and still haveloneliness.
You know, even anxiety is ouris it can be thought of as a
relationship with time wherewe're when we're anxious, we're
we're in the past or in thefuture.
Merilyn (11:41):
I've heard that before that might be too an
oversimplification, but anxietyis a fear of what might happen
in the future, and depression isthe relationship to the past.
Don't know if it's that clearcut, but yeah, it is a little
right.
Melanie (11:56):
But there's you know, so there's so people are like
there's a lot of we talk about alot of, you know, like so it's
not mental health.
It's not a relationship withtime, doesn't it?
It does, it messes up ourrelationship with time.
It does.
And my background is really, Ihave a lot of experience in
treating people in suicideideation and suicide planning.
And, you know, to think aboutsuicide, that's the ultimate
(12:20):
getting out of time, you know,getting out of earth time.
It is, yeah.
Space and time.
And absolutely right.
At least the for the peoplethat I've seen, the thing that
they all have in common is thateven though they're out walking
and talking and moving and athrough the world in a way that
you wouldn't pick up asabnormal, when you really look
(12:43):
at their fine biomechanics andreally look at how their uh
their joints are moving, theyare compensating very heavily at
every joint head to toe.
And it's kind of like they'rein rigor mortis already.
Wow.
(13:04):
Because they're so if I mean,if I was really gonna put
objective measurement on theirjoints and where they stopped
moving and where they startedpulling in other joints to
continue the movement, you know,like if but with just the pure
joint movement, they're superstiff.
And I really think they're justtrying to match on the outside
what's happening on the inside.
(13:25):
Because when you give them theability to move normally, their
mindset, their suicide ideationcompletely shifts.
And they will even come out ofsuicide planning.
So our relationship with timeis, you know, I mean, and we're
all going to die.
We know that's the truth atsome point.
But our relationship with timeis just so you know fundamental
(13:49):
to happen.
Resistant, we push it.
Oh, resistant, right, right.
We're all trying to push itaway.
And we, you know, we value, atleast in the West, Western
cultures, we tend to value howlong you lived versus how well
you lived, over how well youlived.
Merilyn (14:11):
Even this glorification of youth is a relationship with
time, isn't it?
And the the fact thatanti-aging industry is a
billion, billion dollarindustry.
Melanie (14:21):
Absolutely.
And all of the functionalmedicine and alternative health
kind of things in at least inthe that the MDs the uh are
doing has been relabeledlongevity medicine.
Time.
So we are really trying tofigure out how to optimize our
(14:41):
time here, you know, and we usethe word time all the time, you
know, it's breakfast time,playtime.
Merilyn (14:50):
Oh uh we're even giving um our schedules over to AI
bots to organize our time.
Melanie (14:58):
Absolutely.
And when we think about time,using it well, I'll say so.
In astrology, Saturn is the godof time.
And people that are able tobetter manage their time to
manifest what they want in life,have a lot of behavior that is
in astrology would be consideredvery Saturn-like, that they're
(15:18):
consistent, they're disciplined,that they do their meditation,
they do their exercise, youknow, they get their self-care,
they get their work done.
Like those are very Saturnianqualities.
You know, or to have that kindof structure to your to your
day.
Merilyn (15:36):
But we're not all like that, are we?
Uh personalities aren't alwayslike that.
Melanie (15:41):
Totally right.
And absolutely, but we are alsoall we all have
neuroplasticity.
So we can train our nervoussystems, do something different
than what we're doing.
And it doesn't mean that youwill, you know, you can still
keep your identity, like you canyou can still have structure to
your day and still have yourpersonality and be the be the
(16:03):
lovable you that you are.
It doesn't mean that you haveto completely switch into being
another person.
Yeah.
Merilyn (16:09):
So bringing a little bit of that Saturn, that god of
time into our days or even intoour bodies, could we bring that
into absolutely who we are?
Melanie (16:22):
Yes, and just having rituals, like rituals are a very
Saturn, you know, or couldcould be considered a very, you
know, that structure that I'mgonna start my day doing this.
Merilyn (16:31):
You said the decline in church, decline in those
rituals has had an effect.
Melanie (16:39):
Absolutely.
And the church as anorganization or an institution
as an institution is a verySaturnian kind of thing.
You know, and but as a movementexpert, you know, with my
background in physical therapy,like we can use certain
movements to target specificareas of the brain where time is
(17:02):
processed so that we can startliving the time of our lives.
Merilyn (17:05):
And probably get more done.
Melanie (17:08):
We can get more done, we can have more joy while we're
doing it.
We can, even when it's hard, wecan navigate it more
successfully, losing ourtempers, less yelling, less
being more present with themoment, being having some
altitude over the situation, youknow, not being so reactive,
(17:29):
but you know, thinking biggerpicture.
And the neuroscience and theastrology of this really match
up nicely.
Merilyn (17:41):
Are you gonna share some of those tips?
In some ways, yes.
Because this is so differentto, you know, if you bring up
the discussion of time andpeople automatically go to,
well, productivity, let's bemore organized, that kind of
thing.
But this is a very differentway of hacking time.
Melanie (18:02):
Yes.
It it it is a different way ofhacking time.
And, you know..
Merilyn (18:07):
I hate that word by the way.
Melanie (18:09):
It's it's just yes, I do too.
I do too.
But when we have like, and it'sit's um, you know, like what we
really want with productivityis we want present productivity.
Like I know the research in thebusiness world says that in an
eight-hour day, there's onlythree hours of productivity.
Well, so like what's happening,you know.
So we're spending, you know,many people are spending eight
(18:29):
hours of work, eight hours atwork, and only getting, you
know, there's five hours oftheir lives every day that
they're lost, missing out on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so how can you use uh, likemaybe not to be more
productive, but to have better,you know, to have more me time
or to have more of the time thatyou want to have, you know,
(18:50):
that if you want more play time,you want more sexy time, you
want more together, you know,more family time, you know, to
have autonomy over your time isreally powerful.
Merilyn (19:01):
And is that kind of almost expanding that three
hours into, you know, if we'vegot three hours of productive,
focused work, can these, canthis understanding of what
you're teaching us and some ofthese exercises help expand that
to be longer or bigger, or isit more making the most out of
(19:23):
those three hours?
What's your thoughts there?
Melanie (19:26):
I think it's I I I mean, yes, I think it can help
you reset, it can help youexpand that for sure.
For example, it's reallyimportant to know your
chronotype.
Like what is your like what isyour relationship with time?
Some people are more morningpeople and some people are more
evening people.
And to use your best time to dothe things that you love, you
(19:49):
know, and especially, I know alot of people don't have as much
choice, but if you're anentrepreneur or um especially,
you know, like like arecertainly on your days off to
really optimize your hours to dothe things that you love.
Parts of the body that go withuh Saturn are skin and bones.
(20:10):
Bones are really cool.
They're at the uh you're likeyour long bones in your leg.
If you put the cells under orput the bone tissue under a
microscope, it's organized inconcentric circles, like the
like Saturn's rings.
Merilyn (20:22):
Like a tree.
Like a tree.
Like a tree.
Melanie (20:26):
Yes, rings like a tree.
And in metaphysics, bones,crystals, and rocks hold our
oldest memories.
And bone and skin, bone, andmemory are very tied together in
human physiology.
You know, and as we age, whathappens?
We get os, we lose bone tissue,we get osteoporosis, we get
(20:48):
skin changes, you know, we'rewrinkling, and our memory
Merilyn (20:54):
Well it's true they find an old skeleton or a mummy
mummy, they it's amazing whatthey can tell now by something
in the body.
Melanie (21:05):
Yep, yep.
Our bones are the longestmemory that stays here on memory
of us that stays here on earth.
Elephants will go and take abone of their ancestors and
carry it around.
Merilyn (21:15):
Of course.
Yes.
Melanie (21:18):
Just in terms of being uh present, like we can like we
are all undertouched andungrounded for the most part.
And just giving yourself thegift of patting yourself gently
all over your body or rubbingyour feet with a cloth can
(21:43):
really bring you into the momentand give you the ability to be
focused, to be more present, youknow, to use the time that you
have really beautifully.
So that's one simple thing thatyou can do.
There's rituals like uh likebig.
Movements like dancing andstomping.
(22:06):
Like they load your bones andthey get those movements get to
the parts deep in your brainthat mediate time.
Merilyn (22:16):
So if we're feeling a little bit overwhelmed or
frustrated, perhaps jumping up,putting on your favorite song
and dancing around the room willhelp us.
Melanie (22:27):
Absolutely.
Really, what these uh exercisesare can do is like they help
with constraints, you know, thatwe're giving.
And we need constraint,moderate constraints in order to
be productive.
Merilyn (22:44):
We think of the the phrase time restraint, isn't it?
It's a it's a phrase we use,putting time restraints,
buckets, absolutely, puttingtime.
Windows of time, windows oftime, blocks of time.
Melanie (22:56):
Absolutely.
And you can I would say bookendyour time with...
Merilyn (23:02):
I like that phrase
Melanie (23:04):
By stimulating uh the parts of your nervous system
that are associated, you know,that associated with time.
And you know, if you'relistening, like you you really
don't like.
I can I get very specific withthis when I teach, but you can
having a little more touch, likereminding yourself where your
own boundaries are, like yourskin is your boundary with the
(23:27):
rest of the world.
Merilyn (23:28):
Ah, that's right.
Melanie (23:31):
You know, and to your bones are your internal
boundaries, your skin is yourexternal boundary.
So those are, you know, thoseare the constraints, you know,
our outer and inner.
But then we can bookend ourtime that, you know, you work
like I'm writing my book rightnow.
And so I'll do some kind ofvagus nerve or nervous system
(23:53):
exercise, write my book, andthen take, you know, set a
timer, take a break, you know,or sometimes I did say I don't
always set a timer, but when Istop, I'll get up and do
something else.
So I'm bookending that time.
Yep.
And then I can sit back downand do more.
Contrast is the language of thenervous system.
Neurons fire, they don't.
(24:15):
There's no in between.
And when we are taking uh havewhen we are focusing, when our
eyes are coming together on ourlaptops and our cell phones all
day long, we need to go dosomething else.
Gaze at the clouds.
Yep.
Even just to look up and followlike the line of a piece of
(24:40):
furniture.
Merilyn (24:41):
It's I know I've pre-positioned my desk where I
can, if I just rise up a bit,because I've got a big screen,
I've got to look out, see thepastures, the fields, the horses
running around.
And it's actually been sohealthy for me to do that rather
than just have a wall in frontof me.
Melanie (24:59):
Absolutely.
Well, and you're really doingan eye exercise in a very
organic way that's supportingyour nervous system.
Merilyn (25:10):
Yes.
Melanie (25:10):
So there's there are tons of uh ways that you could
experience contrast, even ifit's looking at purple flowers
against yellow ones or the redrose against its green stem
because those are opposite onthe color wheel.
Merilyn (25:23):
I love that.
Melanie (25:24):
But but we don't take in, like we really, you know,
when we look at things, most ofus don't really look at the
detail in things, you know, andreally take it in and almost,
you know, we're, you know, we'reso glazed over from screen
time.
So just being present enough toreally look at things in more
(25:47):
detail can be very therapeutic.
You know, even if it'ssomething in your home like a a
throw pillow that you're lookingat the piping on the edges, you
know, or how the stitching wasdone and the colors and the
pattern, you know, it doesn'thave to be anything super
technical or fancy.
Though for some people, there,I mean, there are ways to, you
(26:09):
know, there are can be benefits.
We don't always intuitively tryto fill our own gaps.
Like if we have, uh, we might,you know, we might prefer to
look to the right, but we mightneed more to the left.
And so that's where, you know,having somebody to help
facilitate or, you know,learning more about nervous
system regulation in general canbe helpful.
We even when we have knee painor back pain, you know, those
(26:31):
things really interfere with ourrelationship with time because
we can't do the things that wewant to do, but we don't really
think, you know, and we havecycles of illness and
difficulties in our life, justlike we have cycles of ease, you
know, where things are a littlebit easier or happier, but the
(26:52):
world is always filled withcontrast.
Merilyn (26:55):
That is so true.
And we don't, isn't itinteresting that we could look
at, I was just when you weretalking there, you go, okay, so
I could look at my screen, or Icould look at the horses
outside, or I could look atblack and white, I could look at
the contrast, I look at thedetails, which also, by the way,
keeps us really focused on now,isn't it?
The present moment, which isanother timey show.
(27:16):
But what if we instead ofseeing our tough times as wrong,
we just saw it as contrast.
Wouldn't that change everythingin us?
It it has changed my life andhow I see this.
Is just hitting me as I'msitting here.
Oh my gosh, it's contrast.
(27:38):
And even we could go, allright, so let's look at the
other com commodity, money.
Why can't we see it?
Maybe we're a little bit skint,just see it as contrast to
another time.
Melanie (27:52):
Yeah, right.
Wealth versus scarcity is yeah,contrast.
It's contrast.
And you know, there's a wholewhen you it's so powerful.
And because those because painand pleasure are processed very
similarly in the brain, and soor in similar areas, you you
(28:12):
know, there's a lot of overlap.
And so when you can like one,take the charge out of things,
calling them good or bad, oryeah, this or that or whatever,
by just the danger happens.
It is right, because there's awe have emotional reactions to
words that we can say, oh, it'syou know, that it's contrast.
(28:34):
Then we can also think aboutit's also very powerful to think
about how much we enjoy thecontrast in our lives.
Like, how much are you reallyenjoying that thing that you
desire?
Like, so you need like so youwant more free time, you don't
have it.
So you're consciously you'renot enjoying it, but your
subconscious is loving it.
(28:56):
And if you can tap into thedeliciousness that your survival
brain is getting out of it, outof that, because it's
fundamentally a protectiveresponse, being able to tap into
that pleasure isextraordinarily powerful in
creating change.
Like, don't I just love it whenpeople interrupt me all day
(29:16):
long and I get nothing done?
Or how much do I loveprocrastinating on my book?
And that can really unwind yourbody in very objective,
measurable ways.
And I fundamentally think thatwe are here for the contrast on
a spiritual level.
That we came here for thecontrast.
Merilyn (29:36):
Wow.
Melanie (29:36):
And it's not that it's ever or always easy, but it's
the it's the full lifeexperience.
You know, we have a North Poleand a South Pole on the earth,
you know, the contrast is justthe language of the nervous
system and the way ourneurotransmitter cycles work
with the stories that we live.
There's lots of contrast in howthat happens as well.
(30:00):
Fundamentally, your nervoussystem just won't let you live a
boring story.
Like you wouldn't go to a movieor read a book.
Merilyn (30:09):
That's so true.
Melanie (30:11):
Yeah, you wouldn't go to a movie or read a book and
rave about it to your friends ifit didn't have enough contrast
in it because it would beboring.
And uh you our nervous systemsare more afraid of being bored
than they are of anything else,of having trauma and drama.
Boredom is the biggest threatfor sure.
Merilyn (30:31):
It's probably why nobody lives adult story.
It's probably why we sit andscroll through TikTok all day.
We don't want to be bored.
Melanie (30:38):
Absolutely, absolutely.
When my kids were young, I toldthem uh, and they would tell me
they were bored.
I said, being bored is a veryimportant skill.
But you know, nobody wantsnobody really wants to be bored.
No.
Merilyn (30:53):
The whole entertainment industry is based on on that.
Melanie (30:57):
Absolutely, absolutely, yeah.
And your nervous system just itwill not let you live a boring
story.
I've not met anybody whosestory I think is
Merilyn (31:06):
It needs that contrast.
Melanie (31:08):
It we absolutely need that contrast.
It's what you know, sleep-wakecycles are contrast.
Like we get out of, you know,getting yourself out of bed is,
you know, standing versussitting, you know, or standing
versus lying down is contrast,eating versus fasting is
contrast.
And we use, you know, when wewant change in our lives, we use
that constrained contrast tohelp create it.
(31:29):
So, like uh, if we want to loseweight, maybe we do
intermittent fasting.
So we alter the timing of ourmeals.
And if we're doing exercise, wedo interval training, like
we're our exercise, or we're,you know, spending a certain
amount of time on a machine atthe gym or on a walk, and you
know, and we have a time a daythat we do the timed activity.
(31:52):
And so we really layer, youknow, these are all our
relationship with time.
Merilyn (31:58):
Melanie, this has been uh a fascinating chat, a
different approach tounderstanding time.
And for me, it's the bigness ofit, and just it's just not the
hours, the the minutes tickingby, but there's a bigger thing
to consider, which has been veryrefreshing.
What would you like to leavethe listeners with before we
(32:25):
wrap up this conversation?
Melanie (32:26):
Several years now, my brand has been fearless
presence, and it's like in thatis still true.
And to me, you get fearlesspresence is the union of modern
science and ancient science, sothat you can have the time of
your life.
Merilyn (32:44):
Time of your life, love it.
Melanie (32:47):
And that you can be fearlessly present and have
fearless presence in everymoment of your life, whether
you're on stage in theboardroom, the family room, the
bedroom, the zoom room, youknow, wherever you are.
Um, yeah, be fearlesslypresent.
Merilyn (33:07):
Thank you.
Melanie (33:09):
Thank you, Merilyn.
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