September 5, 2026 • 29 mins
Out of everyone I've interviewed, Nida Leardprasopsuk is one I never forgot - so I brought her back.
We just... connected. And interestingly, that's where her business and brand as evolved to today: a relationship OS designed to reconnect a disconnected world.
Nida was born in Baltimore, moved to Bangkok at ten without being able to write Thai, did her master's in Sydney, went into Fortune 500 corporate life and got out fast. She's a coach, she gets incredible transformations in clients and she's building a reality show with no drama in it.
Here's the thing about Nida: almost nobody reads her correctly. Not the people in Bangkok. Not the coaching industry. Not even the clients who see the go-getter.
This isn't a conversation about business or personal brands. It's about what happens when you let go of the version of you that everyone admires.
In this episode, we unpack:
- Nida's thesis on why making friends is exactly like dating.
- Why an introvert can be the loudest person in the room.
- The reality show she's auditioning people for - and who she wants on it.
- Why she quit her PhD, and why she has no regrets.
- The message her body sent that she couldn't argue with.
- Why she wants her life's work to be free.
- What she wants to be remembered for (it isn't what you'd guess).
This episode is part of I Never Released These... The Lost Tapes, a special 12-part series featuring interviews I recorded between 2022 and 2024 that never made it into the world... until now.
Follow Nida:
Website: nidaleard.com
Instagram: @nidaleardofficial
Follow Merilyn:
Instagram: @merilyn
Website: merilyn.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Merilyn (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to this special series I'm
calling...
"I never released these...
The Lost Tapes." Twelveconversations are recorded
between 2022 and 2024, and Inever released them.
Completely my bad.
Today's guest is Nida.
Nida was born in Baltimore,moved to at 10.
(00:23):
She did a master's degree herein Sydney, where I live, went
into Fortune 500 corporate life,and got out fast.
But here's the thing aboutNida.
Almost everyone reads herwrong.
In Thailand, peopleassume she isn't Thai.
People assume from the outsideshe's an ambitious,
(00:44):
results-driven type.
So this conversation is aboutwhat's actually underneath and
about the year her body stoppedher in her tracks.
We start with friendshipbecause Nida, being Nida, has
written a thesis on it.
Nida (00:58):
I'm a huge introvert, and back when I was younger, I
didn't really see the importanceof connecting with people.
It was the study and the books,oh, all the knowledge in the
world that I want to gather.
And like even in college, Iwasn't even interested in
dating.
I was just like, oh, I'm gonnago and study and go back home
and just live in my world of mythoughts and imagination.
(01:19):
But I think since I've matured,I've really understood the
value of building thatfriendship, meaningful
friendship with people.
Isn't it funny though thatsometimes the people that you
work with, you have proximitywith them, but you don't feel as
close to them as you wouldsomeone that's living on the
(01:40):
other side of the earth?
I've analyzed this whole thing.
I've kind of made a thesis outof it.
Merilyn (01:44):
Have you?
Nida (01:44):
I've do research everything, don't I?
Merilyn (01:46):
So , this thesis.
What came out of it for youthat perhaps was a little bit
surprising?
Nida (01:52):
For me, the surprising part was like, oh my god,
there's just so many amazingpeople around the world that
I've missed for like 30something years.
I was not interested inconnecting with people.
At first, it's for the businesspurpose.
Like for us, we connectedthrough being on the pod your
podcast show, right?
It's related to business, butat the end of the day, I feel
(02:14):
like all these people that I'veconnected with and I want to be
friends with is fulfilling interms of personal or personal
reasons.
And really the business side islike it's not that.
Merilyn (02:25):
It's secondary.
Nida (02:26):
People that I connected with actually gave me insight.
It really brought a point whereI had more clarity.
You know how when people date,and the more they date, they
have more clarity on the people,the type of people they want to
be with.
It's the same thing.
And when I connected with allthese amazing people, um, one of
the most important things issimilar values, generous, giving
(02:47):
people that want to help theworld.
We want to be the change thatwe want to see in the world,
right?
Merilyn (02:52):
When you say the word values, it suddenly becomes a
manifesto or admissionstatement, but it's not.
There's no other word todescribe that word values, isn't
it?
It's what you connect on.
Nida (03:01):
Common values is definitely the most important
one.
The second thing I found issimilar personality as well.
Merilyn (03:08):
Yeah.
Nida (03:08):
Or we can call it chemistry, right?
I've connected with many peoplethat we have similar values,
but the chemistry isn't there.
You know what I mean?
Merilyn (03:16):
I know what you mean.
Yeah.
It's almost like dating.
It's it's not gonna develop.
One of my other great friendsthat I've met virtually as well.
She has she always called likeus meeting on Zoom for coffee
meetings.
She called it dates.
Let's have a date.
And when I'm to dinner with mysome of my best friends, it
feels like a date.
We're planning this, we'regonna have a surprise
conversation, and where shouldwe go?
(03:37):
Where do you want to go?
It is like an amazing date withyour friends.
And that was another thing thatI realized is that you need to
be intentional about buildingyour friendship in that way.
Hey, let's meet every month.
That is something that I didn'tknow in my 20s.
I think the third thing issimilar interests.
Like we like to talk aboutsimilar things, similar topics,
(03:57):
common things that we enjoy.
The people that I am goodfriends with locally, we like to
go to similar restaurants, wehave similar lifestyles.
It's just like dating.
And that's why they say beingbest friends with your partner
is like the best thing, right?
So I always call myself aresearcher, observer.
If you've heard of theEnneagram, I've been Enneagram
(04:18):
Type 5 on the Myers Briggs onthe INTP.
Now that surprises me.
Nida (04:23):
Yeah, it does.
It surprised everybody becauseeverybody's a what?
You don't look like a five,right?
Everybody's like, the fiveneeds to look like a professor,
like a nerd.
Merilyn (04:32):
You're direct five or you're five, four, or five, six.
Nida (04:36):
Five with a four-wing, but of a strong line to the eight.
So people would see me as athree or an eight or a one.
What they're actually seeing isthe
result-oriented, efficient, go-getter,futuristic.
So I always tell people becauseI teach the Enneagram as well.
That's just the behavior, it'sthe motivation that's inside
(04:56):
you.
Merilyn (04:57):
You're evolved, so it's not you're operating on the
unevolved side.
Nida (05:00):
Have a strong 7 as well.
Merilyn (05:02):
Okay, that makes sense.
Yes, you look like a seven.
Nida (05:06):
I do look like a seven, and I used to think that I was a
seven.
I'm optimistic, visionary, theylook like a seven.
I don't know, but I onlyconnect with introverts.
I don't want to say that, butall of these people that have
had the connection in chemistryare usually introverts, right?
You're an introvert too.
Merilyn (05:26):
I am.
People are surprised at that,but it's just that I've gone
from shy, which I think is oftena fear of people, to as I've
got to know myself and I'm moreconfident that I'm still
introverted.
Nida (05:39):
Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't change.
People say, like, but you talkso much and you're so loud and
you're so bold.
How can you be an introvert?
It has nothing to do with that.
It's just how you charge yourbattery. Yeah, I charge my battery in my inner world.
Yeah, after this call, I willbe back recharging by myself.
I'm gonna throw a scenario atyou.
Let's say six to ten peoplethat are gonna fly into
(06:03):
Thailand.
Are you in Bangkok?
I am.
I am I am in Bangkok.
Merilyn (06:07):
So we're all flying into Bangkok and we're gonna
meet in person for the firsttime.
Nida (06:12):
Okay.
Merilyn (06:13):
Where would you take us?
Nida (06:16):
How many days?
I'm gonna ask a bunch ofquestions.
I'm gonna be so literal on it.
Merilyn (06:20):
Okay, let's design it on the podcast.
We've checked in your hotelsand we're gonna meet at a
certain restaurant to have ourfirst meal together.
Where would it be and whatcuisine would it be?
Nida (06:30):
Oh my god.
I would have to ask everyone inthat group with whether they
like prawn or not.
Because I have a restaurantwhere you can go and eat all
these river prawns, and it'samazing.
If people have come to Bangkokbefore they know how big the
river prawns here are.
So if nobody's allergic to toprawns or seafood, it's not a
(06:51):
real scenario, but um I takethings seriously.
Yeah, that that would be theplace that I recommend.
Andtwo or three other alternatives.
How would you see thatconversation going, seeing each
other for the first time?
I think we would be talking about what we're talking
about now, and we'd probably beplanning some sort of workshop.
(07:12):
You know how the Avengers cometogether and they're like, hey,
let's go save the world.
Merilyn (07:16):
Okay, so we've got another two days, and you're
gonna show us around your homecity.
Where would you take us?
Nida (07:24):
This is not my strength.
Our friends flying into thecountry is a lot.
Where should I go and visit?
Do you know this temple?
I don't know anything.
Well, maybe we should just sitfor two days and just talk.
Merilyn (07:33):
I could do that.
Wouldn't that be amazing?
Nida (07:36):
I don't see anyone in this group kind of going out to
touristy places.
Maybe we'd go out for like aday and then we'd come back and
be charged for five days.
I don't really know any of thetourist places here.
I I live here in a bubble in myworld, working with the people
in the same bubble.
I don't really follow socialnorms.
(07:56):
I don't pay attention to whatmost people pay attention to.
When people meet me, they say,like, I don't look like someone
that lives in Thailand or Idon't look Thai.
Most people will think I'mJapanese or Korean.
When I go to the mall, theyactually speak English to me.
Merilyn (08:10):
Interesting.
That must be the energy thatyou give out or something.
Nida (08:14):
I think it's the way I look.
Like I don't look like atypical Thai, because also the
personality as well.
The way I carry myself.
I'm not like overly friendly,like Thai people.
They smile, talk, and chat.
I'm living in my world, in myinternal world.
At least a yeah, since we yeah,at least a year that we talked.
What's changed?
(08:35):
What's different?
What what's been going on sincewe last chatted?
I don't know.
Last time was I shared with youthat I wanted to do a reality
show.
I I've always I've I've alwayshad the thought of creating this
reality show, which would notbe like a dramatic reality show
that we see on Netflix, right?
But it's gonna be real.
(08:56):
It's gonna be like all real, nodrama.
It's people's lives has enoughdrama.
I the idea is I want to bringpeople onto the show and I want
to coach them for six months toa year.
And once we're gonna show yeah,so it's gonna be like maybe
like 70% Oprah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20, 30%, we go and see what'shappening in their lives and the
(09:17):
results that they're gettingfrom the transformation.
I want people to see thosecoaching conversations and this
the tools and the ways ofthinking, and like, oh, it was
just this question or thatquestion that changed this
person's life.
Because..
Merilyn (09:31):
To see it in real time, how that happens.
Nida (09:35):
I want everybody seeing this show to see themselves see
that hey, we're all humans,we're all the same.
We struggle with the similarthings.
Merilyn (09:43):
We do.
Nida (09:43):
And if you can understand that and you understand your
brain and you understand allthese tools, I feel like we're
so fortunate to be living inthis bubble, yeah, in coaching
space, right?
Because we have access to allthese like amazing things.
Why doesn't the whole worldknow about this?
Merilyn (09:59):
So, would people audition to go on and what would
they need to get on the show?
Nida (10:04):
Actually, started auditioning for participants on
already like two, three yearsback.
First of all, they would haveto have a goal.
It can be your relationship, itcan be a renting issue, it
can't you dreamt this businessor this dream job, and you've
always wanted to be ballerina.
For example, this was one girlthat was auditioning, and she
(10:24):
always wanted to um cook, buther mom didn't let her cook and
always said, like, oh, you'renot a good cook.
And she wanted to be a chef,and her dream now is to open a
vegetarian restaurant, but sheshe didn't, you know, she she
didn't have that confidence.
So when I say big goal, I don'tmean like it has to be like,
you know, as Elon Musk big foryou.
Merilyn (10:46):
Something that they haven't yet seen happen in their
life.
Nida (10:48):
Yeah, yeah.
I would use this scale so thatit's easier for people to
understand.
You're confident that you willachieve this goal, maybe 20 to
30 percent, but not like not 80,90 percent, because that would
be too easy, right?
And that wouldn't be reallylike dreaming big.
I I want a goal that reallyscares you and excites you.
I'm imagining like even havingpeople like I don't know, 60
(11:09):
years old, 70 years old thatcome on the show, never found
true love.
Is it possible for me?
A 17-year-old that wants to dosomething amazing.
Merilyn (11:17):
I love it.
Nida (11:18):
I want people to see the power of like understanding your
brain, psychology,self-awareness.
There's that definitely thatbias when we're being in that
circle, that coaching space,personal development space where
everybody's evolved.
And we live in it so long thatwe don't realize like what's the
reality that's happeningoutside.
It's almost like an unfairadvantage, isn't it?
(11:38):
The world needs to know aboutthese things, and that's when I
really got serious.
I need to really do this show.
And the ultimate dream isactually to get it started here
locally, because that makes themost sense.
And then I want to filmdifferent series around the
world, like in London, in Paris,in Australia, and you know, in
different countries, and and doa season of that series there.
(11:59):
I'm I've been talking to myvideo uh production team.
Maybe we don't need to wait forthis.
We just want to get it started.
I'm gonna get people to comeand coach with me on video,
maybe like kind of a pilot thingon my channel, on my YouTube
channel, or even on the podcastor something like that.
Merilyn (12:16):
Where's your learning edge here where you feel I'm
gonna have to really grow inthat area to do this?
Nida (12:22):
Yeah, for me, I think it's really about building the
connections.
So it's the networking piece,which you know, not my area of
expertise.
Something that I have beenworking for the past several
years.
And now if I need to get intoentertainment, then it's
entertainment where I need toreally connect and find the
connections that I need.
(12:42):
I think in this space,connection is really important.
It's about who you know.
Merilyn (12:47):
It is. And we were talking before about introvert,
extrovert, which is really howyou recharge your energy.
It's what's your what's yourgo-to?
Nida (12:55):
Oh, it's such a lazy answer though, but um, I like to
sleep. I need nine to ten hours.
I read somewhere recently thatit's a fallacy of eight hours,
some people need more, somepeople need less.
I feel so much better when Ilet my body go over eight hours.
I had my DNA tested and they got the results back, and
it says, I'm a night owl.
I knew that.
Uh and then it says, You areone of the people that needs
(13:18):
nine to ten hours of sleep.
Yeah.
So that that was relieving forme because growing up, my
grandparents would be like, whydo you sleep sleep?
Merilyn (13:26):
Really?
Nida (13:27):
Yeah, and Asian people can really associate sleeping a lot
with being lazy.
Merilyn (13:31):
Isn't that interesting?
Because when I asked you, youprefaced the answer with, "This
is gonna sound very lazy." Ifyou'd asked me that, I would
have said, Well, yes, I love tosleep, but I love Netflix.
I need to actually just zoneout.
I like to go into anotherworld.
Nida (13:47):
You say that you like to watch Netflix.
I do too.
Yeah.
Um, I'm very particular withwhat I watch.
When I watch Netflix, it'salmost like a thesis as well.
I like to watch psychology kindof investigative CSI type
movies, documentary style, howsomeone became someone, why they
did this and that.
Another thing that I didn'tupdate you is I decided that I
(14:10):
was going to quit my PhD.
And I actually did.
Merilyn (14:14):
Does it feel like does it feel like a relief or do you
feel a regret?
Nida (14:18):
No, no regrets.
Um, I really had to sit downwith myself and then ask myself,
like, is it worth another threeyears of my life to be doing
research?
So I actually finished all thecoursework.
I got what I wanted out of italready.
But the reason that was stillsticking with it, I think, was
like, but I spent so much timewith it already.
(14:38):
If I leave now, it's gonna belike wasted those three years,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
But then I really sat withmyself and I thought, but I, you
know, my initial thought ineven pursuing this in the first
place was not for the PhD.
It's not for like to be Dr.
Nida or have some letters atthe end of my name.
It was because I wanted to getinto this deep knowledge of
(14:59):
psychology.
And I've done that.
So that idea of thinking thatit was a waste of three years if
I start this now is not true.
Merilyn (15:07):
It's sad that when people are living lives, doing
careers, doing things, becausethey feel like I put the effort
in or I did the degree, or if Ithought that, I'd be an
architect.
And I'm so glad that even at ayoung age, I dug deep and said,
This is wildly unsatisfying forme.
Nida (15:27):
If I had, I don't know, 30, 40 years to live, three
years of my life doing thisresearch.
It's crazy.
Very intense to do PhDresearch.
It's just like your entirethree years of your life.
And I had a back problembecause I started to do my PhD.
It was the two, three yearssitting in front of the
computer.
I've just healed from it.
(15:47):
I'm I'm around 80% better now.
I thought if I'm gonna sit foranother three years and do this,
it's not gonna work.
Not just psychologically, butphysically.
And then I want to be doingother stuff.
I want to be doing the show anddoing many other things.
So that was definitelydemonstrating the power of
quitting and releasing thatspace in your life so that you
can re receive the things thatyou want.
(16:09):
I used to have this in my headthat I'm not a quitter.
You know, I'm not a quitter.
And and I don't want to be aquitter.
And what is my son gonna thinkif I quit this?
But then when I made thatdecision with so much clarity, I
felt at peace with myself.
Merilyn (16:25):
But it's interesting that you say that because again,
it's a society or anexpectation from parents or
academia that's going you quit.
And it's like, no, it's aconscious decision.
When you were saying that, Iwas thinking back on when I
joined architecture, it was asix-year degree.
I knew deep down that it wasnot for me.
But I didn't want to quit, notso that I wouldn't be a quitter,
(16:48):
but because I hadn't got thenext clear for me yet.
So that was different.
However, a few years later, Iwanted to learn the violin and I
got a violin and it sat thereand I looked at it and I
thought, now, am I really amusician?
And I thought, no.
Do I want to learn it?
Yes.
But do you know what?
(17:09):
I'd be just as satisfied withlistening to classical music
than playing it.
And the amount of time thatwould need for me to be that
good, I just don't want to wastethat time.
And that was a pivotal momentfor me.
It is okay when quitting isdeliberate, it's choosing
another direction.
Nida (17:27):
Yeah.
I think something that humansreally need to remind
themselves, or at least me, isthat yeah, you can want all
these things in life, like,yeah, I want to be Taylor Swift
and at the same time, I want tocreate a reality show and be the
best coach or whatever.
But in real life, you havelimited resources, you have
limited time.
(17:47):
And there's so many things youwant to do, right?
And you need to build afriendship.
And I have a son, you want tohave a great relationship with
that, and with my familymembers, and this and that.
So we have to choose ourpriorities and we need to make a
decision.
We can we can have it all, butwe can't have it all.
Yeah, I know.
Like you have 24 hours a day,right?
(18:09):
And I sleep for nine to tenhours, so we're down to like
what?
Merilyn (18:14):
And that is that old mindset of productivity equals
hours.
You'll probably get more donein your day because you have
nine hours.
Do you think your body wastelling you a strong message
about your PhD?
Nida (18:29):
Yes.
Oh, I don't know whether it wasabout the PhD or not, but it
was definitely about me being aworkaholic.
It was really a pivoting pointfor me.
And after I had this backproblem, I really shifted my
lifestyle.
I had a belief that being aworkaholic or this crazy person,
like I idealized Elon Musk forworking 16 hours a day.
(18:51):
That's true.
It was part of my identity.
I feel proud of that part of methat I'm hardworking and I'm
really good at what I do.
So that professional, kind ofintelligent part of me, is a big
part of who I identify myselfwith.
But then this thing happened tomy body, and I'm like, okay,
this wasn't smart.
(19:11):
Thinking that I can doeverything, I can run these
several businesses and I canalso do a PhD.
And also wanting arelationship.
So at that time, people weretelling me, like, you crazy?
And I don't think I'm crazy, Ican do it all.
But then for me, definitely, itwas a shift that it told me
that, hey, you're overusing yourbody, you can't survive doing
(19:32):
this, just being this workingmachine is just not gonna work.
And that's not really whatmakes you happy.
And it really hit me that, hey,I'm really lonely.
I was not in a relationship,haven't been in a relationship
for many years.
And I was like, I think Ireally need to start dating
seriously and find like theright relationships.
(19:53):
And it's difficult for someonelike me to accept
that. It's not that I need, but I want it.
I'm the same.
You're very capable withoutsomeone, but means you actually
do need someone for the fullnessof who you are.
That was kind of the realization, and I think it
takes courage for someone like astrong woman to accept that.
But I would be actually muchmore happier if I found that
(20:18):
person.
So so many things shifted forme.
I'm someone that makes time formy friends.
People don't even invite mebecause like to play because
they know they're gonna say no.
And my default making is alwayslike I'd rather use this time
to do my projects.
And and then when I look about,that wasn't cool at all.
And then you're always payingsomething.
(20:40):
There's always a cost for doingthat.
It's your family, it's yourkids, it's your relationships.
You see that.
Merilyn (20:47):
Or your health.
Nida (20:47):
Yeah, or your health, you see that, right?
So there's always a cost forfor everything you do, right?
What your choices, the choicesthat you make.
And now I think I I live a morebalanced life.
Yeah, I have 130 things on myto-do list, but I'm not gonna do
it.
Merilyn (21:05):
At the end of your life, what would you like me to
show off about you?
Nida (21:10):
It's definitely about what I've been chatting with you
about.
It's about bringing theknowledge of psychology and
coaching and all these amazingtools that we've been really
privileged to learn and to usewith our own lives and put it
into the mass market foreverybody to learn.
And ultimately, I really wantto build a library of things
(21:30):
where people can consume forfree.
That's the ultimate goal tomake all of this free.
I feel like it's the same witheducation.
It should be free.
It shouldn't be the case wherepeople that have a lot of money
have access to this.
And this might even touch uponthe equity topic.
When I started in the coachingspace, something that I thought
about am I actually doing a goodthing here, or am I making a
(21:55):
bigger gap in the world bycoaching people that have making
Yeah.
People been more successful andsmarter, right?
Because we choose to coach agreat, amazing client, whatever
people, leaders, right?
But is that creating even amore unfair advantage for these
groups of people?
What about the people thatdon't have access to that?
(22:16):
And then I kind of countered, Idon't know whether it's
rationalization or wassomething, but it was like,
yeah, but okay, so this is whatthe world tells us.
You coach these leaders andthey're gonna go and do great,
amazing things, and they'regonna give back to society.
But it was always a thought inmy mind that my clients are
privileged to have that accessbecause they've been successful,
(22:38):
because they have the money towork with me.
And so what about the rest ofthe world?
And I think that kind of linksto the idea of why I want to
make this free.
Merilyn (22:49):
Yeah, yeah.
Nida (22:49):
Everyone.
It should be free.
Education, religion,psychology, it should be free.
We have tons of books and onthese topics, but still so
lacking in the world.
A lot of my clients actuallystruggle with that as well.
My perspective on that isseparated.
You have a business model whereyou can charge whatever rate
you want, and then you have thispiece where you're just giving
(23:09):
back.
If we we did this, this couldbe a strategy.
This is where I actuallystarted my TikTok channel in
Thai, which I never thought Iwas gonna be on TikTok, going
into YouTube and other stuff,which we didn't have time to do
before.
This is where I'm reaching thelike going mass now.
I don't know how I'm gonna doit yet, but that's like that's
part of the legacy.
(23:30):
I really want to build that inmy lifetime on earth, in
self-awareness, in psychology,in how we think about our lives
and make decisions and choices,to be resilient, to be in
control of your life and tounderstand that you are in
control of your life.
Let go of those whatever pastbeliefs.
And this links back to theother thing that we were talking
(23:50):
about as well, is how I want tobe perceived by people, like
when I die.
I want people to remember me asa kind person and someone that
is a good person.
I've always been addicted tothat part of my personality.
Oh, I'm hardworking, and I'mlike such a smart, great
intellectual person.
That's not really at the end ofthe day when I die.
(24:10):
I don't want people to beremember me, remembering me for
being smart and gifted orwhatever.
It's a good ego boost, I guess.
But yeah, it's at the end ofthe day, I want people to know
that I have a big heart and Ilove helping people and that I'm
a kind human being.
At the end of the day, it'sabout relationships with people.
And I feel like we alwaysdefault back to what society
(24:32):
tells us.
Even whatever level ofself-awareness you have and how
evolved you are, you there'salways gonna be that part where
you, if you forget, you're gonnadefault back to that.
And I don't want you to beattracted to me or talking to me
because I'm intelligent.
It doesn't feel meaningful forme.
Intellectual is one type ofattraction, but like at the end
of the day, I want you to see myheart.
(24:53):
I want you to know that I'm akind person.
Merilyn (24:56):
Yeah.
Nida (24:57):
And especially for me, I feel that there's a
misunderstanding ormisperception of me.
Like when people see me in theadvertising and they see me in
the podcast or on YouTube, theythink like, oh, this person is
about results.
This person is about ambitionand achievement.
But really, if you get to knowme, it's not about that at all.
It's not about that at all.
(25:18):
It's about like, I want to helppeople.
It's about kindness, it's aboutbenevolence.
There's the power, there's asuccess, there's ambition.
But really, at the core of myheart, it's about being kind.
Merilyn (25:29):
I think we're having these conversations more where
kindness matters more thansuccess.
And I'm drawn to kind people.
We've moved out of the age ofsuccess to the age of integrity.
And the people who don't havethat deep kindness are falling
away or they're being sifted.
Nida (25:50):
Yeah.
Exactly.
So I'm hoping that would be thedirection that would be the
case.
Definitely here in Thailand,it's far, far from the truth.
It's like not even close tothat conversation.
Definitely here, like inThailand, we see personal
development coming here in fiveto five years, I would say.
Now we see yeah, we seebest-selling books, which are
psychology and personaldevelopment books, on the you
(26:12):
know, best-selling yeah, wenever saw that.
We're seeing that, and that'swhy I'm thinking like, oh, the
reality show and all this, we'reready for that.
We're ready for best shows andquality content.
I I'm hoping that's gonna bethe trend in the direction where
it's really shifting fromresults and success to integrity
because we see that in thecorporate world.
(26:34):
It's terrible.
Where it's all about thenumbers, it's about this.
And there are plenty of leadersthat operate from that place
where I don't care what happensto people, but like we need to
get the stock prices up.
And that's just sad, you know.
That's just really sad.
And I I wish that every companywould have a way to still be
successful, but also treatpeople how they should be
(26:55):
treated and be kind.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Merilyn (26:59):
Is there anything that was burning in your heart that you wanted to share?
Nida (27:03):
You bring up such interesting topics, and I think
I've kind of talked abouteverything.
We've gone everywhere, haven'twe?
From parenting to relationshipsto business to humanity and our
legacy.
I I have a question for youthough.
So, what's your legacy?
Merilyn (27:18):
Go for it.
What's my legacy?
You know, it it is a questionthat I'm very good at asking
other people.
But for me, my heart has alwaysbeen for leadership,
self-leadership, personalleadership.
And that's really about thepotential and the possibility of
humanity.
If I could spark that inpeople, I would.
(27:41):
The legacy I want to leave isthat I I made my mark in human
possibility.
Nida (27:48):
Yeah, because I remember last time that I talked to you
on the show and you were, youwere also talking about
leadership.
And I reflected back to youthat, well, I could really feel
that, like what you were saying.
Merilyn (27:58):
I've hesitated because leadership is one of those
loaded words.
I was not using it for fear ofcoming across too masculine.
And I realized that no, for me,it's not a masculine or
feminine word, it's a fusion ofboth.
It's so pigeonholed intopolitical leadership or CEOs,
(28:18):
and for me, it's it's so not.
So yeah.
Nida (28:22):
I totally get what you mean when there's a connotation
with a specific word that theworld has been using that word,
and it means kind of likedifferent things to different
people, and sometimes there's anegative connotation to get it.
Merilyn (28:34):
I've got to the point where I'm going, it doesn't
matter because you're wastingtime, Merilyn.
Go and redefine it for people.
Nida (28:42):
Yeah.
Invent a new word.
Merilyn (28:44):
This conversation has been amazing because I think,
yeah, you're so right.
I just assume everyone knowsthis stuff, and they don't.
Don't assume that.
Just share it with the world.
And um, anyway.
Nida (28:57):
Love it.
Merilyn (29:00):
We love it. Thank you so much.
Nida (29:03):
Yeah, was really great to talk to you today.
Hello and welcome back to this special series I'm
calling...
"I never released these...
The Lost Tapes." Twelveconversations are recorded
between 2022 and 2024, and Inever released them.
Completely my bad.
Today's guest is Nida.
Nida was born in Baltimore,moved to at 10.
(00:23):
She did a master's degree herein Sydney, where I live, went
into Fortune 500 corporate life,and got out fast.
But here's the thing aboutNida.
Almost everyone reads herwrong.
In Thailand, peopleassume she isn't Thai.
People assume from the outsideshe's an ambitious,
(00:44):
results-driven type.
So this conversation is aboutwhat's actually underneath and
about the year her body stoppedher in her tracks.
We start with friendshipbecause Nida, being Nida, has
written a thesis on it.
Nida (00:58):
I'm a huge introvert, and back when I was younger, I
didn't really see the importanceof connecting with people.
It was the study and the books,oh, all the knowledge in the
world that I want to gather.
And like even in college, Iwasn't even interested in
dating.
I was just like, oh, I'm gonnago and study and go back home
and just live in my world of mythoughts and imagination.
(01:19):
But I think since I've matured,I've really understood the
value of building thatfriendship, meaningful
friendship with people.
Isn't it funny though thatsometimes the people that you
work with, you have proximitywith them, but you don't feel as
close to them as you wouldsomeone that's living on the
(01:40):
other side of the earth?
I've analyzed this whole thing.
I've kind of made a thesis outof it.
Merilyn (01:44):
Have you?
Nida (01:44):
I've do research everything, don't I?
Merilyn (01:46):
So , this thesis.
What came out of it for youthat perhaps was a little bit
surprising?
Nida (01:52):
For me, the surprising part was like, oh my god,
there's just so many amazingpeople around the world that
I've missed for like 30something years.
I was not interested inconnecting with people.
At first, it's for the businesspurpose.
Like for us, we connectedthrough being on the pod your
podcast show, right?
It's related to business, butat the end of the day, I feel
(02:14):
like all these people that I'veconnected with and I want to be
friends with is fulfilling interms of personal or personal
reasons.
And really the business side islike it's not that.
Merilyn (02:25):
It's secondary.
Nida (02:26):
People that I connected with actually gave me insight.
It really brought a point whereI had more clarity.
You know how when people date,and the more they date, they
have more clarity on the people,the type of people they want to
be with.
It's the same thing.
And when I connected with allthese amazing people, um, one of
the most important things issimilar values, generous, giving
(02:47):
people that want to help theworld.
We want to be the change thatwe want to see in the world,
right?
Merilyn (02:52):
When you say the word values, it suddenly becomes a
manifesto or admissionstatement, but it's not.
There's no other word todescribe that word values, isn't
it?
It's what you connect on.
Nida (03:01):
Common values is definitely the most important
one.
The second thing I found issimilar personality as well.
Merilyn (03:08):
Yeah.
Nida (03:08):
Or we can call it chemistry, right?
I've connected with many peoplethat we have similar values,
but the chemistry isn't there.
You know what I mean?
Merilyn (03:16):
I know what you mean.
Yeah.
It's almost like dating.
It's it's not gonna develop.
One of my other great friendsthat I've met virtually as well.
She has she always called likeus meeting on Zoom for coffee
meetings.
She called it dates.
Let's have a date.
And when I'm to dinner with mysome of my best friends, it
feels like a date.
We're planning this, we'regonna have a surprise
conversation, and where shouldwe go?
(03:37):
Where do you want to go?
It is like an amazing date withyour friends.
And that was another thing thatI realized is that you need to
be intentional about buildingyour friendship in that way.
Hey, let's meet every month.
That is something that I didn'tknow in my 20s.
I think the third thing issimilar interests.
Like we like to talk aboutsimilar things, similar topics,
(03:57):
common things that we enjoy.
The people that I am goodfriends with locally, we like to
go to similar restaurants, wehave similar lifestyles.
It's just like dating.
And that's why they say beingbest friends with your partner
is like the best thing, right?
So I always call myself aresearcher, observer.
If you've heard of theEnneagram, I've been Enneagram
(04:18):
Type 5 on the Myers Briggs onthe INTP.
Now that surprises me.
Nida (04:23):
Yeah, it does.
It surprised everybody becauseeverybody's a what?
You don't look like a five,right?
Everybody's like, the fiveneeds to look like a professor,
like a nerd.
Merilyn (04:32):
You're direct five or you're five, four, or five, six.
Nida (04:36):
Five with a four-wing, but of a strong line to the eight.
So people would see me as athree or an eight or a one.
What they're actually seeing isthe
result-oriented, efficient, go-getter,futuristic.
So I always tell people becauseI teach the Enneagram as well.
That's just the behavior, it'sthe motivation that's inside
(04:56):
you.
Merilyn (04:57):
You're evolved, so it's not you're operating on the
unevolved side.
Nida (05:00):
Have a strong 7 as well.
Merilyn (05:02):
Okay, that makes sense.
Yes, you look like a seven.
Nida (05:06):
I do look like a seven, and I used to think that I was a
seven.
I'm optimistic, visionary, theylook like a seven.
I don't know, but I onlyconnect with introverts.
I don't want to say that, butall of these people that have
had the connection in chemistryare usually introverts, right?
You're an introvert too.
Merilyn (05:26):
I am.
People are surprised at that,but it's just that I've gone
from shy, which I think is oftena fear of people, to as I've
got to know myself and I'm moreconfident that I'm still
introverted.
Nida (05:39):
Yeah, yeah.
It doesn't change.
People say, like, but you talkso much and you're so loud and
you're so bold.
How can you be an introvert?
It has nothing to do with that.
It's just how you charge yourbattery. Yeah, I charge my battery in my inner world.
Yeah, after this call, I willbe back recharging by myself.
I'm gonna throw a scenario atyou.
Let's say six to ten peoplethat are gonna fly into
(06:03):
Thailand.
Are you in Bangkok?
I am.
I am I am in Bangkok.
Merilyn (06:07):
So we're all flying into Bangkok and we're gonna
meet in person for the firsttime.
Nida (06:12):
Okay.
Merilyn (06:13):
Where would you take us?
Nida (06:16):
How many days?
I'm gonna ask a bunch ofquestions.
I'm gonna be so literal on it.
Merilyn (06:20):
Okay, let's design it on the podcast.
We've checked in your hotelsand we're gonna meet at a
certain restaurant to have ourfirst meal together.
Where would it be and whatcuisine would it be?
Nida (06:30):
Oh my god.
I would have to ask everyone inthat group with whether they
like prawn or not.
Because I have a restaurantwhere you can go and eat all
these river prawns, and it'samazing.
If people have come to Bangkokbefore they know how big the
river prawns here are.
So if nobody's allergic to toprawns or seafood, it's not a
(06:51):
real scenario, but um I takethings seriously.
Yeah, that that would be theplace that I recommend.
Andtwo or three other alternatives.
How would you see thatconversation going, seeing each
other for the first time?
I think we would be talking about what we're talking
about now, and we'd probably beplanning some sort of workshop.
(07:12):
You know how the Avengers cometogether and they're like, hey,
let's go save the world.
Merilyn (07:16):
Okay, so we've got another two days, and you're
gonna show us around your homecity.
Where would you take us?
Nida (07:24):
This is not my strength.
Our friends flying into thecountry is a lot.
Where should I go and visit?
Do you know this temple?
I don't know anything.
Well, maybe we should just sitfor two days and just talk.
Merilyn (07:33):
I could do that.
Wouldn't that be amazing?
Nida (07:36):
I don't see anyone in this group kind of going out to
touristy places.
Maybe we'd go out for like aday and then we'd come back and
be charged for five days.
I don't really know any of thetourist places here.
I I live here in a bubble in myworld, working with the people
in the same bubble.
I don't really follow socialnorms.
(07:56):
I don't pay attention to whatmost people pay attention to.
When people meet me, they say,like, I don't look like someone
that lives in Thailand or Idon't look Thai.
Most people will think I'mJapanese or Korean.
When I go to the mall, theyactually speak English to me.
Merilyn (08:10):
Interesting.
That must be the energy thatyou give out or something.
Nida (08:14):
I think it's the way I look.
Like I don't look like atypical Thai, because also the
personality as well.
The way I carry myself.
I'm not like overly friendly,like Thai people.
They smile, talk, and chat.
I'm living in my world, in myinternal world.
At least a yeah, since we yeah,at least a year that we talked.
What's changed?
(08:35):
What's different?
What what's been going on sincewe last chatted?
I don't know.
Last time was I shared with youthat I wanted to do a reality
show.
I I've always I've I've alwayshad the thought of creating this
reality show, which would notbe like a dramatic reality show
that we see on Netflix, right?
But it's gonna be real.
(08:56):
It's gonna be like all real, nodrama.
It's people's lives has enoughdrama.
I the idea is I want to bringpeople onto the show and I want
to coach them for six months toa year.
And once we're gonna show yeah,so it's gonna be like maybe
like 70% Oprah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20, 30%, we go and see what'shappening in their lives and the
(09:17):
results that they're gettingfrom the transformation.
I want people to see thosecoaching conversations and this
the tools and the ways ofthinking, and like, oh, it was
just this question or thatquestion that changed this
person's life.
Because..
Merilyn (09:31):
To see it in real time, how that happens.
Nida (09:35):
I want everybody seeing this show to see themselves see
that hey, we're all humans,we're all the same.
We struggle with the similarthings.
Merilyn (09:43):
We do.
Nida (09:43):
And if you can understand that and you understand your
brain and you understand allthese tools, I feel like we're
so fortunate to be living inthis bubble, yeah, in coaching
space, right?
Because we have access to allthese like amazing things.
Why doesn't the whole worldknow about this?
Merilyn (09:59):
So, would people audition to go on and what would
they need to get on the show?
Nida (10:04):
Actually, started auditioning for participants on
already like two, three yearsback.
First of all, they would haveto have a goal.
It can be your relationship, itcan be a renting issue, it
can't you dreamt this businessor this dream job, and you've
always wanted to be ballerina.
For example, this was one girlthat was auditioning, and she
(10:24):
always wanted to um cook, buther mom didn't let her cook and
always said, like, oh, you'renot a good cook.
And she wanted to be a chef,and her dream now is to open a
vegetarian restaurant, but sheshe didn't, you know, she she
didn't have that confidence.
So when I say big goal, I don'tmean like it has to be like,
you know, as Elon Musk big foryou.
Merilyn (10:46):
Something that they haven't yet seen happen in their
life.
Nida (10:48):
Yeah, yeah.
I would use this scale so thatit's easier for people to
understand.
You're confident that you willachieve this goal, maybe 20 to
30 percent, but not like not 80,90 percent, because that would
be too easy, right?
And that wouldn't be reallylike dreaming big.
I I want a goal that reallyscares you and excites you.
I'm imagining like even havingpeople like I don't know, 60
(11:09):
years old, 70 years old thatcome on the show, never found
true love.
Is it possible for me?
A 17-year-old that wants to dosomething amazing.
Merilyn (11:17):
I love it.
Nida (11:18):
I want people to see the power of like understanding your
brain, psychology,self-awareness.
There's that definitely thatbias when we're being in that
circle, that coaching space,personal development space where
everybody's evolved.
And we live in it so long thatwe don't realize like what's the
reality that's happeningoutside.
It's almost like an unfairadvantage, isn't it?
(11:38):
The world needs to know aboutthese things, and that's when I
really got serious.
I need to really do this show.
And the ultimate dream isactually to get it started here
locally, because that makes themost sense.
And then I want to filmdifferent series around the
world, like in London, in Paris,in Australia, and you know, in
different countries, and and doa season of that series there.
(11:59):
I'm I've been talking to myvideo uh production team.
Maybe we don't need to wait forthis.
We just want to get it started.
I'm gonna get people to comeand coach with me on video,
maybe like kind of a pilot thingon my channel, on my YouTube
channel, or even on the podcastor something like that.
Merilyn (12:16):
Where's your learning edge here where you feel I'm
gonna have to really grow inthat area to do this?
Nida (12:22):
Yeah, for me, I think it's really about building the
connections.
So it's the networking piece,which you know, not my area of
expertise.
Something that I have beenworking for the past several
years.
And now if I need to get intoentertainment, then it's
entertainment where I need toreally connect and find the
connections that I need.
(12:42):
I think in this space,connection is really important.
It's about who you know.
Merilyn (12:47):
It is. And we were talking before about introvert,
extrovert, which is really howyou recharge your energy.
It's what's your what's yourgo-to?
Nida (12:55):
Oh, it's such a lazy answer though, but um, I like to
sleep. I need nine to ten hours.
I read somewhere recently thatit's a fallacy of eight hours,
some people need more, somepeople need less.
I feel so much better when Ilet my body go over eight hours.
I had my DNA tested and they got the results back, and
it says, I'm a night owl.
I knew that.
Uh and then it says, You areone of the people that needs
(13:18):
nine to ten hours of sleep.
Yeah.
So that that was relieving forme because growing up, my
grandparents would be like, whydo you sleep sleep?
Merilyn (13:26):
Really?
Nida (13:27):
Yeah, and Asian people can really associate sleeping a lot
with being lazy.
Merilyn (13:31):
Isn't that interesting?
Because when I asked you, youprefaced the answer with, "This
is gonna sound very lazy." Ifyou'd asked me that, I would
have said, Well, yes, I love tosleep, but I love Netflix.
I need to actually just zoneout.
I like to go into anotherworld.
Nida (13:47):
You say that you like to watch Netflix.
I do too.
Yeah.
Um, I'm very particular withwhat I watch.
When I watch Netflix, it'salmost like a thesis as well.
I like to watch psychology kindof investigative CSI type
movies, documentary style, howsomeone became someone, why they
did this and that.
Another thing that I didn'tupdate you is I decided that I
(14:10):
was going to quit my PhD.
And I actually did.
Merilyn (14:14):
Does it feel like does it feel like a relief or do you
feel a regret?
Nida (14:18):
No, no regrets.
Um, I really had to sit downwith myself and then ask myself,
like, is it worth another threeyears of my life to be doing
research?
So I actually finished all thecoursework.
I got what I wanted out of italready.
But the reason that was stillsticking with it, I think, was
like, but I spent so much timewith it already.
(14:38):
If I leave now, it's gonna belike wasted those three years,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
But then I really sat withmyself and I thought, but I, you
know, my initial thought ineven pursuing this in the first
place was not for the PhD.
It's not for like to be Dr.
Nida or have some letters atthe end of my name.
It was because I wanted to getinto this deep knowledge of
(14:59):
psychology.
And I've done that.
So that idea of thinking thatit was a waste of three years if
I start this now is not true.
Merilyn (15:07):
It's sad that when people are living lives, doing
careers, doing things, becausethey feel like I put the effort
in or I did the degree, or if Ithought that, I'd be an
architect.
And I'm so glad that even at ayoung age, I dug deep and said,
This is wildly unsatisfying forme.
Nida (15:27):
If I had, I don't know, 30, 40 years to live, three
years of my life doing thisresearch.
It's crazy.
Very intense to do PhDresearch.
It's just like your entirethree years of your life.
And I had a back problembecause I started to do my PhD.
It was the two, three yearssitting in front of the
computer.
I've just healed from it.
(15:47):
I'm I'm around 80% better now.
I thought if I'm gonna sit foranother three years and do this,
it's not gonna work.
Not just psychologically, butphysically.
And then I want to be doingother stuff.
I want to be doing the show anddoing many other things.
So that was definitelydemonstrating the power of
quitting and releasing thatspace in your life so that you
can re receive the things thatyou want.
(16:09):
I used to have this in my headthat I'm not a quitter.
You know, I'm not a quitter.
And and I don't want to be aquitter.
And what is my son gonna thinkif I quit this?
But then when I made thatdecision with so much clarity, I
felt at peace with myself.
Merilyn (16:25):
But it's interesting that you say that because again,
it's a society or anexpectation from parents or
academia that's going you quit.
And it's like, no, it's aconscious decision.
When you were saying that, Iwas thinking back on when I
joined architecture, it was asix-year degree.
I knew deep down that it wasnot for me.
But I didn't want to quit, notso that I wouldn't be a quitter,
(16:48):
but because I hadn't got thenext clear for me yet.
So that was different.
However, a few years later, Iwanted to learn the violin and I
got a violin and it sat thereand I looked at it and I
thought, now, am I really amusician?
And I thought, no.
Do I want to learn it?
Yes.
But do you know what?
(17:09):
I'd be just as satisfied withlistening to classical music
than playing it.
And the amount of time thatwould need for me to be that
good, I just don't want to wastethat time.
And that was a pivotal momentfor me.
It is okay when quitting isdeliberate, it's choosing
another direction.
Nida (17:27):
Yeah.
I think something that humansreally need to remind
themselves, or at least me, isthat yeah, you can want all
these things in life, like,yeah, I want to be Taylor Swift
and at the same time, I want tocreate a reality show and be the
best coach or whatever.
But in real life, you havelimited resources, you have
limited time.
(17:47):
And there's so many things youwant to do, right?
And you need to build afriendship.
And I have a son, you want tohave a great relationship with
that, and with my familymembers, and this and that.
So we have to choose ourpriorities and we need to make a
decision.
We can we can have it all, butwe can't have it all.
Yeah, I know.
Like you have 24 hours a day,right?
(18:09):
And I sleep for nine to tenhours, so we're down to like
what?
Merilyn (18:14):
And that is that old mindset of productivity equals
hours.
You'll probably get more donein your day because you have
nine hours.
Do you think your body wastelling you a strong message
about your PhD?
Nida (18:29):
Yes.
Oh, I don't know whether it wasabout the PhD or not, but it
was definitely about me being aworkaholic.
It was really a pivoting pointfor me.
And after I had this backproblem, I really shifted my
lifestyle.
I had a belief that being aworkaholic or this crazy person,
like I idealized Elon Musk forworking 16 hours a day.
(18:51):
That's true.
It was part of my identity.
I feel proud of that part of methat I'm hardworking and I'm
really good at what I do.
So that professional, kind ofintelligent part of me, is a big
part of who I identify myselfwith.
But then this thing happened tomy body, and I'm like, okay,
this wasn't smart.
(19:11):
Thinking that I can doeverything, I can run these
several businesses and I canalso do a PhD.
And also wanting arelationship.
So at that time, people weretelling me, like, you crazy?
And I don't think I'm crazy, Ican do it all.
But then for me, definitely, itwas a shift that it told me
that, hey, you're overusing yourbody, you can't survive doing
(19:32):
this, just being this workingmachine is just not gonna work.
And that's not really whatmakes you happy.
And it really hit me that, hey,I'm really lonely.
I was not in a relationship,haven't been in a relationship
for many years.
And I was like, I think Ireally need to start dating
seriously and find like theright relationships.
(19:53):
And it's difficult for someonelike me to accept
that. It's not that I need, but I want it.
I'm the same.
You're very capable withoutsomeone, but means you actually
do need someone for the fullnessof who you are.
That was kind of the realization, and I think it
takes courage for someone like astrong woman to accept that.
But I would be actually muchmore happier if I found that
(20:18):
person.
So so many things shifted forme.
I'm someone that makes time formy friends.
People don't even invite mebecause like to play because
they know they're gonna say no.
And my default making is alwayslike I'd rather use this time
to do my projects.
And and then when I look about,that wasn't cool at all.
And then you're always payingsomething.
(20:40):
There's always a cost for doingthat.
It's your family, it's yourkids, it's your relationships.
You see that.
Merilyn (20:47):
Or your health.
Nida (20:47):
Yeah, or your health, you see that, right?
So there's always a cost forfor everything you do, right?
What your choices, the choicesthat you make.
And now I think I I live a morebalanced life.
Yeah, I have 130 things on myto-do list, but I'm not gonna do
it.
Merilyn (21:05):
At the end of your life, what would you like me to
show off about you?
Nida (21:10):
It's definitely about what I've been chatting with you
about.
It's about bringing theknowledge of psychology and
coaching and all these amazingtools that we've been really
privileged to learn and to usewith our own lives and put it
into the mass market foreverybody to learn.
And ultimately, I really wantto build a library of things
(21:30):
where people can consume forfree.
That's the ultimate goal tomake all of this free.
I feel like it's the same witheducation.
It should be free.
It shouldn't be the case wherepeople that have a lot of money
have access to this.
And this might even touch uponthe equity topic.
When I started in the coachingspace, something that I thought
about am I actually doing a goodthing here, or am I making a
(21:55):
bigger gap in the world bycoaching people that have making
Yeah.
People been more successful andsmarter, right?
Because we choose to coach agreat, amazing client, whatever
people, leaders, right?
But is that creating even amore unfair advantage for these
groups of people?
What about the people thatdon't have access to that?
(22:16):
And then I kind of countered, Idon't know whether it's
rationalization or wassomething, but it was like,
yeah, but okay, so this is whatthe world tells us.
You coach these leaders andthey're gonna go and do great,
amazing things, and they'regonna give back to society.
But it was always a thought inmy mind that my clients are
privileged to have that accessbecause they've been successful,
(22:38):
because they have the money towork with me.
And so what about the rest ofthe world?
And I think that kind of linksto the idea of why I want to
make this free.
Merilyn (22:49):
Yeah, yeah.
Nida (22:49):
Everyone.
It should be free.
Education, religion,psychology, it should be free.
We have tons of books and onthese topics, but still so
lacking in the world.
A lot of my clients actuallystruggle with that as well.
My perspective on that isseparated.
You have a business model whereyou can charge whatever rate
you want, and then you have thispiece where you're just giving
(23:09):
back.
If we we did this, this couldbe a strategy.
This is where I actuallystarted my TikTok channel in
Thai, which I never thought Iwas gonna be on TikTok, going
into YouTube and other stuff,which we didn't have time to do
before.
This is where I'm reaching thelike going mass now.
I don't know how I'm gonna doit yet, but that's like that's
part of the legacy.
(23:30):
I really want to build that inmy lifetime on earth, in
self-awareness, in psychology,in how we think about our lives
and make decisions and choices,to be resilient, to be in
control of your life and tounderstand that you are in
control of your life.
Let go of those whatever pastbeliefs.
And this links back to theother thing that we were talking
(23:50):
about as well, is how I want tobe perceived by people, like
when I die.
I want people to remember me asa kind person and someone that
is a good person.
I've always been addicted tothat part of my personality.
Oh, I'm hardworking, and I'mlike such a smart, great
intellectual person.
That's not really at the end ofthe day when I die.
(24:10):
I don't want people to beremember me, remembering me for
being smart and gifted orwhatever.
It's a good ego boost, I guess.
But yeah, it's at the end ofthe day, I want people to know
that I have a big heart and Ilove helping people and that I'm
a kind human being.
At the end of the day, it'sabout relationships with people.
And I feel like we alwaysdefault back to what society
(24:32):
tells us.
Even whatever level ofself-awareness you have and how
evolved you are, you there'salways gonna be that part where
you, if you forget, you're gonnadefault back to that.
And I don't want you to beattracted to me or talking to me
because I'm intelligent.
It doesn't feel meaningful forme.
Intellectual is one type ofattraction, but like at the end
of the day, I want you to see myheart.
(24:53):
I want you to know that I'm akind person.
Merilyn (24:56):
Yeah.
Nida (24:57):
And especially for me, I feel that there's a
misunderstanding ormisperception of me.
Like when people see me in theadvertising and they see me in
the podcast or on YouTube, theythink like, oh, this person is
about results.
This person is about ambitionand achievement.
But really, if you get to knowme, it's not about that at all.
It's not about that at all.
(25:18):
It's about like, I want to helppeople.
It's about kindness, it's aboutbenevolence.
There's the power, there's asuccess, there's ambition.
But really, at the core of myheart, it's about being kind.
Merilyn (25:29):
I think we're having these conversations more where
kindness matters more thansuccess.
And I'm drawn to kind people.
We've moved out of the age ofsuccess to the age of integrity.
And the people who don't havethat deep kindness are falling
away or they're being sifted.
Nida (25:50):
Yeah.
Exactly.
So I'm hoping that would be thedirection that would be the
case.
Definitely here in Thailand,it's far, far from the truth.
It's like not even close tothat conversation.
Definitely here, like inThailand, we see personal
development coming here in fiveto five years, I would say.
Now we see yeah, we seebest-selling books, which are
psychology and personaldevelopment books, on the you
(26:12):
know, best-selling yeah, wenever saw that.
We're seeing that, and that'swhy I'm thinking like, oh, the
reality show and all this, we'reready for that.
We're ready for best shows andquality content.
I I'm hoping that's gonna bethe trend in the direction where
it's really shifting fromresults and success to integrity
because we see that in thecorporate world.
(26:34):
It's terrible.
Where it's all about thenumbers, it's about this.
And there are plenty of leadersthat operate from that place
where I don't care what happensto people, but like we need to
get the stock prices up.
And that's just sad, you know.
That's just really sad.
And I I wish that every companywould have a way to still be
successful, but also treatpeople how they should be
(26:55):
treated and be kind.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Merilyn (26:59):
Is there anything that was burning in your heart that you wanted to share?
Nida (27:03):
You bring up such interesting topics, and I think
I've kind of talked abouteverything.
We've gone everywhere, haven'twe?
From parenting to relationshipsto business to humanity and our
legacy.
I I have a question for youthough.
So, what's your legacy?
Merilyn (27:18):
Go for it.
What's my legacy?
You know, it it is a questionthat I'm very good at asking
other people.
But for me, my heart has alwaysbeen for leadership,
self-leadership, personalleadership.
And that's really about thepotential and the possibility of
humanity.
If I could spark that inpeople, I would.
(27:41):
The legacy I want to leave isthat I I made my mark in human
possibility.
Nida (27:48):
Yeah, because I remember last time that I talked to you
on the show and you were, youwere also talking about
leadership.
And I reflected back to youthat, well, I could really feel
that, like what you were saying.
Merilyn (27:58):
I've hesitated because leadership is one of those
loaded words.
I was not using it for fear ofcoming across too masculine.
And I realized that no, for me,it's not a masculine or
feminine word, it's a fusion ofboth.
It's so pigeonholed intopolitical leadership or CEOs,
(28:18):
and for me, it's it's so not.
So yeah.
Nida (28:22):
I totally get what you mean when there's a connotation
with a specific word that theworld has been using that word,
and it means kind of likedifferent things to different
people, and sometimes there's anegative connotation to get it.
Merilyn (28:34):
I've got to the point where I'm going, it doesn't
matter because you're wastingtime, Merilyn.
Go and redefine it for people.
Nida (28:42):
Yeah.
Invent a new word.
Merilyn (28:44):
This conversation has been amazing because I think,
yeah, you're so right.
I just assume everyone knowsthis stuff, and they don't.
Don't assume that.
Just share it with the world.
And um, anyway.
Nida (28:57):
Love it.
Merilyn (29:00):
We love it. Thank you so much.
Nida (29:03):
Yeah, was really great to talk to you today.
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