May 27, 2026 • 28 mins
Travel has played an outsized role in my life, has shaped it in overwhelmingly positive ways. In this episode, I share the story behind my new memoir, Better Safe Than Sorry? Slow Boats, Chicken Buses, and the Radical Choice to Trust the World. Drawing from 25 years of independent travel, this book is a raw, honest collection of travel stories that will challenge what you think about playing it safe.
These are stories with real highs and lows that showcase my drive to get past the reflexive fears and anxieties that once kept my world small. These stories illustrate how choosing curiosity over caution transformed me and fueled travel to places across the planet. From canoeing to the Gulf of Mexico with John Ruskey to exploring Southeast Asia, Madagascar, and Guatemala, these 18 stories celebrate the joy of saying yes.
The book launches exclusively on Kickstarter on June 15, 2026, and includes the option to buy a hardcover edition featuring 63 full-color photos that won't be available anywhere else. The paperback, audiobook, and ebook will release widely in late summer 2026. Stick around to hear a sample from the audiobook edition, the Introductory chapter to the book.
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Dean Klinkenberg (00:27):
Welcome to the Mississippi Valley Traveler
podcast. I'm Dean Klinkenberg,and I've been exploring the deep
history and rich culture of thepeople and places along
America's greatest river, theMississippi, since 2007. Join me
as I go deep into the charactersand places along the river, and
occasionally wander into otherstories from the Midwest and
(00:47):
other rivers. Read the episodeshow notes and get more
information on the Mississippiat MississippiValleyTraveler.com
Let's get going.
Welcome to episode 77 of theMississippi Valley Traveler
podcast. In 2015 I had thechance to canoe from New Orleans
(01:08):
to the Gulf of Mexico with JohnRuskey and the Quapaw Canoe
Company. The expedition gave methe chance to finally, after
nearly a decade as theMississippi Valley Traveler, get
to the end of the river to thespot where the Mississippi
merges with the sea. The storyabout that trip is one of 18 in
my new book, a travel memoircalled 'Better Safe Than Sorry:
(01:30):
Slow Boats, Chicken Busses, andthe Radical Choice to Trust the
World.'The stories come from some 25
years of independent travelaround the United States,
including many trips along theMississippi, as well as from
some international trips. I'vebeen an avid traveler most of my
life. I've got some greatmemories of summer road trips
with my family, where we'd packup a car and hit the road for a
(01:52):
while. My parents absolutelylove traveling, and it's a
passion they passed on to theirchildren, including me. I
continued to travel as a youngman, even when my budget was
tight, and I needed to findcreative ways to eat cheaply or
find a place to crash for thenight.
Still, even as I traveled, Iregularly battled fears and
(02:14):
anxieties about taking chanceson something new or traveling to
unfamiliar places. Is someonegoing to rob me? What if I get
lost or look stupid? Worryingabout looking stupid is a
lifelong affliction. What willhappen if my car breaks down?
Which one of them did often inthose pre-cell phone days. What
(02:35):
if the trip is an utter completefailure, and I hate everything
about it?
I didn't move through my regularlife with much confidence, and
that certainly didn't changewhen I traveled. I generally
took trips that kept me in thefamiliar zone. I eventually
realized that worrying aboutsafety first had come with a
price, that letting my fearsdictate decisions for me was
(02:58):
depriving me of joy anddiscovery. It was making my
world smaller and smaller, so Idecided to find out what would
happen if I had listened to thatvoice of caution less often and
took more chances. Travel, Irealized, was and still is a
good way to do just that.
(03:20):
On the road, I have an easiertime taking chances I'd never
take at home. Eat somethingradically unfamiliar, camp on
isolated sandbars, even letpeople dress me up. People like
dressing me up. After all, evenif I was embarrassed by it, I'd
never see these folks again. I'mamazed at how well it's actually
(03:42):
worked out. How much travel haschanged me. Slowly, certainly
over time, but changed me forsure. So that's what this book
is about. How I use travel toopen myself to new experiences,
to challenge the safety firstmindset, and replace it with
curiosity first.
This isn't a self-help book. Iwant to be clear about that.
(04:03):
This is a collection of travelstories where you'll read about
how I recognize the fears andanxieties I felt, picked them
apart, then took a step aheadanyway, and what happened when I
did. Hint, I've had some greatexperiences. I've enjoyed
eye-opening boat trips on theTonle Sap River in Cambodia and
(04:25):
the Tsiribihina in Madagascar. Istudied Spanish for two weeks in
a small Honduran village, wheremy husband, John, and I became
groupies for a band from ElSalvador. We got to watch the
sun set over the Guatemalanjungle from atop an ancient
Mayan pyramid after all the tourbusses left us with the quiet of
the jungle. And I got to the endof the Mississippi River with
(04:46):
John Ruskey. I didn't have muchexperience with wilderness
camping before that trip, andfretted a lot up front about how
well I'd adapt to the loss ofdaily conveniences, but I went
anyway, and because I did, Ichecked off a bucket list item,
and had one of the best travelexperiences of my life.
You're going to learn an awfullot about me in this book. The
(05:08):
stories are really personal,some of them from travel
experiences I just haven'ttalked about all that much, and
I don't sugarcoat what happened.
I hate travel books that makeevery travel experience look
like a trip to Pleasantville orthe plot of a Hallmark movie.
I've got some good stories,plenty of happy endings for
sure, but I don't shy away fromwriting about the struggles too.
(05:29):
Still, travel has brought metremendous joy, helped me
connect to people and placesaround the world, challenged me
to try things I never would haveotherwise, tested my patience,
taken me inside worlds I neverexpected to see, and ultimately
made me a stronger, moreconfident, and resilient person.
(05:52):
I think we underestimate howinvigorating, how life-affirming
it can be to travel tounfamiliar places, meet new
people and see the world in aslightly different way than we
did before. I'm not saying thatthe way I travel, independently,
is easy. Sometimes it's damnhard, especially when you arrive
in an unfamiliar town after darkand have a hard time finding an
(06:15):
available room. But it's nearlyimpossible to experience these
life-affirming moments when welet safety concerns squash our
curiosity.
So I hope these stories willfire up your curiosity and steel
your courage too, or at the veryleast that you find them
entertaining, even if you haveno intention of taking a chicken
(06:37):
bus through El Salvador.
I'm releasing this bookinitially through Kickstarter
only. You may be wondering whyit's a fair question. But it's
pretty simple, actually.
Kickstarter offers a new way forindie authors like me to release
books and connect directly withpeople who are interested in our
work, and I get to offersomething different from what
you'll find on the typicalretail platforms.
(07:02):
In this case, I've created ahardcover edition of the book
with full color photos, 63 ofthem. I'm only offering the
hardcover through Kickstarter.
You won't find it anywhere else.
Besides that, Kickstarter givesme a chance to offer other
editions of the book before theygo on sale anywhere else. You'll
be able to get the paper backwith those same 63 photos, but
(07:24):
in black and white. The ebookand the audiobook narrated by me
weeks before they go on saleanywhere else. The campaign will
go live on June 15, but you cansign up now with the pre-launch
page to get updates about thecampaign, including a note on
the day it officially kicks off.
Even if you don't think you'llbe interested in this book
(07:47):
yourself, maybe you know someonewho might be. If so, I'd be
grateful if you'd help me spreadthe word about the book and this
Kickstarter campaign to yourfriends and family who are
interested in travel stories.
You can visit the pre-launchpage and sign up for updates at
https://deanklinkenberg.com/better-safe-than-sorryand unfortunately, when I
created that URL, there arehyphens between better safe than
(08:09):
sorry, so it's better, hyphensafe, hyphen than, hyphen sorry.
Yeah, sorry about that.
If that's too much, you can alsojust go to the show notes for
this episode atMississippiValleyTraveler.com/podcast
and I'll have a link there aswell. And also in the show notes
I'll put up there a copy of thebook cover, and probably a few
(08:33):
trips from probably a few photosfrom trips as well, so you can
see what's in the book.
But before you go away, I wantto offer a flavor of what's
actually in the book. Stickaround after this introduction,
and you can hear a chapter fromthe audiobook, the introductory
chapter narrated by me.
(08:53):
As always, thank you for yourinterest in my work, and thank
you to those of you who haveshown support through Patreon.
For as little as $1 a month, youcan join that Patreon community,
get the early access toepisodes, and just generally get
the satisfaction of knowing youare part of the community that
keeps this podcast going. If youwant to join the Patreon
(09:14):
community, just go topatreon.com/deanklinkenberg, and
you can find instructions there.
Patreon not your thing. Buy me acoffee. Again, you can go to
MississippiValleyTraveler.com/podcastand there you will find
instructions on how to buy me acoffee. As always, thanks for
your ongoing support. And nowlet's get on to the introduction
from 'Better Safe Than Sorry: Slow Boats, Chicken Busses, and (09:34):
undefined
the Radical Choice to Trust theWorld'.
Introduction. Epigraph "For whatgives value to travel. Is fear
(10:15):
At the age of 21 I got acceptedinto a program to study in
France for a semester. I was aFrench minor in college, so
studying in Grenoble at the footof the Alps would be a great way
for me to advance my languageskills, as well as an exciting
it breaks down the kind of innerstructure we have. One can no
alternative to enduring anotherWisconsin winter. I was an
insecure, hesitant young man, sothe trip offered a chance to
(10:38):
longer cheat, hide behind thehours spent at the office or at
break out of my shell, developconfidence, get a crash course
in wine and learn about howpeople live in another part of
the world. The trip could havebeen all of those things and
the plant." Albert Camus.
more. I'll never know, becausewhen the day arrived to make my
travel arrangements, I backed out.
I'm not naturally confident,quite the opposite, truth be
(10:59):
told. I invented 100 reasons toskip the semester abroad, but it
boiled down to this. I wasafraid I'd fail. I felt anxious
I wouldn't fit in, worried Icouldn't speak French well
enough, and the program wouldexpose my inadequacy. Scared I'd
be lonely. So much fear. Ratherthan test myself, I invented
(11:20):
excuses to stay home to avoidthe potential embarrassment of
failing. The irony, of course,is that by backing out of the
trip because of my fears, Ifailed spectacularly.
I sometimes think back to thatmoment, to my backing out of the
program, and wonder whatexperiences I might have had
(11:42):
living near the Alps insoutheastern France for six
months. What path might my lifehave taken? I might never have
come back from Europe. Would Iever have an opportunity like
that again?
My parents introduced me to thepossibilities of travel. When I
(12:05):
was a kid my family vacationedalmost every summer. We'd get up
well before sunrise to avoidtraffic. Dad would load and
unload luggage and suppliesuntil it all fit perfectly in
the trunk. I'd settle into theworn back seat of a station
wagon or sedan, pull out thelicense plate game board or a
Travel Fires Up My Curiosity.
(12:25):
book, and we'd hit the road. AsI stared out the window and
watched the world roll by, myimagination kicked into gear.
Our family lived on a tightbudget when I was a kid, but we
still got in a summer road tripnearly every year. Sometimes my
dad turned an extended work tripinto a family vacation. We lived
in a motel in San Francisco forfour weeks one summer, Atlanta
(12:47):
for a few weeks the next. Mysister and I traveled with Dad
to Los Angeles. While he worked,we played at Disneyland. Besides
the frequent vacations, we moveda lot. I went to grade school in
four different cities, the worldI knew extended far beyond
whatever neighborhood we livedin. As young adults, my husband,
(13:11):
John and I, traveled from coastto coast. We lived frugally,
like my parents had, but fearsof traveling around unfamiliar
places limited my imaginationmore than concerns about money.
Taking a long road trip to NewEngland was fine. We understood
American culture, but Spain orChina? At the same time, the
(13:33):
sense that I'd missed out onsomething important by backing
out of the study abroad programin college loomed in the back of
my mind. Still, I couldn't tampdown my desire to travel. John
and I got hooked on travelshows, including 'Lonely Planet'
and Anthony Bourdain's 'NoReservations.' Those shows
opened my eyes to thepossibilities of independent
(13:54):
travel around the world, ofvisiting places I might never
have otherwise considered or hadbeen afraid to travel to. The
vicarious experience of watchinghosts make their way around the
world gave me concrete examplesto follow and boosted my
confidence to take on thechallenges of traveling outside
the US myself. And they showedme experiences I was missing out
(14:16):
on by giving in to the samefears that had kept me from
studying abroad.
Years later I've traveled toevery US state and 45 countries.
I've seen great works of art,the Sistine Chapel, Picasso's
'Guernica,' and intricatemandalas. I've admired such
astounding engineering feats asthe temples at Angkor in
(14:39):
Cambodia, the pre-Columbianmounds at Cahokia and the stone
citadel of Machu Picchu. Icelebrated King's Day on the
streets of Amsterdam withthousands of new Dutch friends
and walked 13 miles alongYamanobe-no-michi in Japan, one
of the oldest roads in theworld. But I've also shared
conversation and slivovitz withsurvivors of the siege of
(15:03):
Sarajevo, sold beer from a boothat an Easter festival in
Honduras, and sat 10 feet from apride of lions as they walked by
the safari vehicle I sat in.
Travel indulges my curiosity,helps me feel alive. Through
travel, I've met people who havemade my life richer and more
meaningful, and I'd like tothink they felt the same way.
(15:25):
The connections I made whiletraveling helped me feel like
I'd found a home away from home,or maybe more accurately, a home
that extended well beyond theboundaries of the place where I
kept my stuff. I've learnedthere's more than one way to fry
a potato, and that mayo isdelicious on french fries. I've
seen firsthand the differentways cultures try to balance the
(15:47):
needs of the individual with theneeds of society at large, and I
better appreciate the trade-offsbecause of that. I understand
the world as an overwhelminglybeautiful place with far more
good people than touts.
Travel helps me put my life inperspective. It clarifies where
I fit in. (Hint (16:06):
it turns out life isn't all about me,
dammit!). Travel brings me joyand stimulates gratitude. Spend
some time in a country wheremost people don't have access to
decent health care or cleanwater, and tell me you don't
feel lucky you were born whereyou were.
Don't get me wrong, I've hadplenty of moments on the road
(16:27):
that made me wonder if I wouldhave been better off staying
home. Some train stations andairports are confusing. I'm
looking at you, Addis Ababa,especially after the third
security pat down, and when noneof the signs were in my native
language. A couple of times I'vegotten into a new town late at
night, only to discover thatopen rooms were in short supply,
(16:50):
which was frustrating and scary.
I've trembled from thevulnerability of needing help,
but being forced to communicatewhat I was looking for by
pointing or acting it out.
Still, travel has offered agreat way to get past my fears
and retrain my brain to getexcited about potential benefits
rather than worrying aboutunlikely risks, but, oy, first I
(17:15):
had to get past those fears,like the ones that kept me from
studying in France.
Fear.
The night before we left forThailand, I woke up in a panic.
My heart raced, and I struggledto catch my breath as the images
echoed in my head. I couldn'tfind my passport. The person
(17:38):
who'd promised to take us to theairport didn't show up. We stood
behind 100 people to check inand get our boarding passes. I
couldn't figure out which gatewe were supposed to go to. I
couldn't find the gate. Theplane was oversold and the
airline had given away my seatbecause I checked in late. After
we landed, I got singled out atcustoms for a full body
(17:58):
inspection. I lost the name ofour hotel. The taxi driver
charged us double the expectedprice. The hotel was overbooked
and had given away our room. Somany things that could go wrong,
and thinking about them all surefires up the anxiety and fear. I
know I'm not alone. For plentyof people, the idea of traveling
(18:19):
somewhere unfamiliar triggersanxieties about safety.
A few years ago, as John and Ienjoyed drinks with friends and
a couple of strangers, we sharedstories from a trip where we'd
spent two months travelingaround Central America. As I
described the pleasure ofenjoying the Mayan ruins at
Tikal, after the hordes oftourists had left and the sun
(18:40):
slowly set, one of the strangersinterrupted, "Is it safe?"
"Is what safe?""Being there at night, traveling
in Guatemala, all of it."She didn't ask "What's there to
do in Guatemala?", or "How wasthe food, or even how easy is it
to get laid there?" No, herfirst question was, "Is it
(19:02):
safe?"In all my travels, after months
on the road and thousands ofinteractions with people around
the world, I can think of only ahandful of times when something
undesirable happened. A coupleof times I ate something that
made me sick. Another time,pickpockets robbed my sister of
her passport and credit cards. Acouple of other times, John
(19:25):
thwarted a thief when he felt ahand in his pocket. Sometimes we
were charged more than we shouldhave been, or more than locals
were paying. The overwhelmingmajority of the time, though, we
have found people all over theworld to be helpful, gracious,
and curious, or at worstindifferent.
(19:49):
I don't mean to dismiss the ideathat travel comes with risk, of
course it does, and twomiddle-aged gay men face risks
different from those faced by asingle woman or other travelers.
It's awfully easy to conflatelegitimate risks with what we're
told to fear. We can't beeverywhere all the time and know
everything, so we rely on othersto alert us to potential
(20:10):
dangers. That's part of theproblem. News and social media
feed us a steady diet of tragedyand conflict. You've probably
heard the unofficial motto thatdrives much of the media: "If it
bleeds, it leads." Stories thatstoke our fears draw us to 24/7
(20:31):
cable news channels and keep uswatching. Features about
assaults and murders drawviewers to local news channels,
which enables TV stations tosell profitable ads, posts that
rile up our anger or incite fearkeep us scrolling through social
media feeds. Politicians whowant our vote use the same
tools, (immigrants arerapists!), as do automobile
(20:55):
companies trying to sell usbigger, more expensive vehicles.
Keep your family safe. We arevulnerable to fear-based
messages, all of us. "If itbleeds, it leads, and we'll
watch."Our attraction to stories that
amplify the unsavory side ofhumanity takes a toll. Not only
(21:16):
does all that exposure to deathand mayhem make us believe the
world is far more dangerous thanit really is. It ultimately
makes us feel more wary aroundstrangers and in unfamiliar
places.
Travel, like life, isn'trisk-free, but our fears have
(21:37):
grown way out of proportion tothe actual risks. Social media
posts oversimplify reality. Newsoutlets cover only a sliver of
what's happening in the world.
You may ask, "So what? I'drather be safe than sorry."
Better safe than sorry. We actas if a safety-first mindset
(21:57):
doesn't cost us anything. Itabsolutely does. When fear rules
our lives, we retreat in everyshadow. We see harm instead of
shade. Our neighbors look likethreats instead of allies. The
world looks like a minefieldinstead of flower-covered
meadows. We find comfort insocial media algorithms that
(22:19):
feed us only what we want to seeand believe, we don't leave our
safety bubble (or we might besorry!) so our world grows
smaller and smaller, or we backout of studying for a semester
in Grenoble, France, and spendanother winter in Wisconsin.
(22:40):
The Promise of Travel.
I eventually learned to use timeaway from home to challenge
myself to get past fears andanxieties. After all, I'd be
around people I'd never seeagain, an insight I found
liberating. I became morewilling to try things I'd never
(23:00):
do at home. After I understoodthis, travel became unexpectedly
therapeutic. I tried out newversions of who I wanted to be.
I struck up conversations withstrangers while standing in
line. I ordered food I'd neverheard of. I mispronounced my way
through phrase books. I learnedsalsa dancing in a neighborhood
(23:22):
bar. I walked into taverns andrestaurants in neighborhoods
where no one looked like me. Iwore silly hats. I tried and
sometimes failed, but along theway I developed confidence in my
ability to handle unfamiliarsituations and to bounce back
better after mistakes.
(23:43):
I'm surprised at how much travelhas over time changed my life.
Not all at once, or during asingle crisis-fueled expedition.
I didn't magically discovertruth and happiness by traveling
to the right place for theperfect amount of time and
letting the town square work itsmagic. The changes have been
subtle, gradual, and sometimeshard to perceive from moment to
(24:06):
moment. But when I think back towho I was in my twenties and who
I am today, the differencesamaze me.
Travel hasn't inoculated meagainst fear and anxiety. I'm
just better at taking them alongfor the ride instead of letting
them lead. I learned I have somecontrol over how I respond to
adversity. We can't get ticketsto see that famous painting that
(24:30):
everyone wants to see? Well,there are a dozen other museums
that showcase great art. Ormaybe it's time to take a break
and sip coffee and people watchfor a couple of hours. Our
flight home got canceled and itis raining too hard to explore
the city? We will enjoy a nicemeal in the hotel with a good
(24:51):
bottle of wine, courtesy of theairline. Don't like the look of
the street ahead of us? We canturn around, walk another route,
or call an Uber.
I'm not saying I look forward tofeeling like a fool when I ask
in an unfamiliar language,"Where's the bathroom?" It's not
that I don't worry about gettingmugged, I'm hardly immune to the
(25:13):
fear-based messages thedoom-industrial complex bombards
us with. I've just learned topush through my initial fears.
Something will always go wrong.
Always. Regardless of how muchplanning I've done. Flights run
late. Inns are full. Strikesshut down trains. Someone is
trying to make a buck off me,and they don't care how. But now
(25:34):
I trust my ability to cope andadjust when the shit hits the
fan.
So yeah, travel has absolutelychanged me. Even if no single
travel experience movedmountains in my life. Rather,
travel experiences have shapedme like wind blowing over a sand
(25:56):
dune. Each time I go somewherenew, my ideas about myself, the
world, and other people shift,even if just a little. Sometimes
I feel those changes while I'mtraveling, but most of the time
they only sink in after I'm backhome, and my mind has had time
to catch up with theexperiences.
(26:16):
In the stories that follow, Iend up on an overcrowded boat
for seven hours, get lost in amarsh on a solo canoe trip.
Trust the wrong people, dodgescams, embarrass myself in front
of strangers, and have my travelplans upended when a new
friend's mother diesunexpectedly. And how many times
(26:39):
did I regret not following theadvice "better safe than sorry"?
Zero. Well, maybe in Tangier...
Well, as I mentioned before,that was the introduction from
my new travel memoir, 'BetterSafe Than Sorry: Slow Boats,
Chicken Busses, and the RadicalChoice to Trust the World.' Let
me know what you think. You candrop a comment in the show
(27:01):
notes, or email me atdean@deanklinkenberg.com. And if
you want to know more, like ifyou want to follow the
Kickstarter release, contributeto the Kickstarter campaign, you
can find that again by going tohttps://deanklinkenberg.com/better-safe-than-sorry,
and the Better Safe Than Sorry,unfortunately has hyphens
between each of those words, soyou put those in, or you can
(27:22):
just go to the show notes, whereyou'll find a link directly there.
Thank you very much for yourinterest, and for following my
work.
Thanks for listening. If youenjoyed this episode, subscribe
to the series on your favoritepodcast app, so you don't miss
out on future episodes. I offerthe podcast for free, but when
you support the show with a fewbucks through Patreon you help
(27:45):
keep the program going. Just goto patreon.com/deanklinkenberg.
If you want to know more aboutthe Mississippi River, check out
my books. I write theMississippi Valley Traveler
Guidebooks for people who wantto get to know the Mississippi
better. I also write the FrankDodge Mystery Series that's set
in places along the river. Findthem wherever books are sold.
(28:06):
The Mississippi Valley Travelerpodcast is written and produced
by me, Dean Klinkenberg.
Original music by Noah Fence.
See you next time.
Welcome to the Mississippi Valley Traveler
podcast. I'm Dean Klinkenberg,and I've been exploring the deep
history and rich culture of thepeople and places along
America's greatest river, theMississippi, since 2007. Join me
as I go deep into the charactersand places along the river, and
occasionally wander into otherstories from the Midwest and
(00:47):
other rivers. Read the episodeshow notes and get more
information on the Mississippiat MississippiValleyTraveler.com
Let's get going.
Welcome to episode 77 of theMississippi Valley Traveler
podcast. In 2015 I had thechance to canoe from New Orleans
(01:08):
to the Gulf of Mexico with JohnRuskey and the Quapaw Canoe
Company. The expedition gave methe chance to finally, after
nearly a decade as theMississippi Valley Traveler, get
to the end of the river to thespot where the Mississippi
merges with the sea. The storyabout that trip is one of 18 in
my new book, a travel memoircalled 'Better Safe Than Sorry:
(01:30):
Slow Boats, Chicken Busses, andthe Radical Choice to Trust the
World.'The stories come from some 25
years of independent travelaround the United States,
including many trips along theMississippi, as well as from
some international trips. I'vebeen an avid traveler most of my
life. I've got some greatmemories of summer road trips
with my family, where we'd packup a car and hit the road for a
(01:52):
while. My parents absolutelylove traveling, and it's a
passion they passed on to theirchildren, including me. I
continued to travel as a youngman, even when my budget was
tight, and I needed to findcreative ways to eat cheaply or
find a place to crash for thenight.
Still, even as I traveled, Iregularly battled fears and
(02:14):
anxieties about taking chanceson something new or traveling to
unfamiliar places. Is someonegoing to rob me? What if I get
lost or look stupid? Worryingabout looking stupid is a
lifelong affliction. What willhappen if my car breaks down?
Which one of them did often inthose pre-cell phone days. What
(02:35):
if the trip is an utter completefailure, and I hate everything
about it?
I didn't move through my regularlife with much confidence, and
that certainly didn't changewhen I traveled. I generally
took trips that kept me in thefamiliar zone. I eventually
realized that worrying aboutsafety first had come with a
price, that letting my fearsdictate decisions for me was
(02:58):
depriving me of joy anddiscovery. It was making my
world smaller and smaller, so Idecided to find out what would
happen if I had listened to thatvoice of caution less often and
took more chances. Travel, Irealized, was and still is a
good way to do just that.
(03:20):
On the road, I have an easiertime taking chances I'd never
take at home. Eat somethingradically unfamiliar, camp on
isolated sandbars, even letpeople dress me up. People like
dressing me up. After all, evenif I was embarrassed by it, I'd
never see these folks again. I'mamazed at how well it's actually
(03:42):
worked out. How much travel haschanged me. Slowly, certainly
over time, but changed me forsure. So that's what this book
is about. How I use travel toopen myself to new experiences,
to challenge the safety firstmindset, and replace it with
curiosity first.
This isn't a self-help book. Iwant to be clear about that.
(04:03):
This is a collection of travelstories where you'll read about
how I recognize the fears andanxieties I felt, picked them
apart, then took a step aheadanyway, and what happened when I
did. Hint, I've had some greatexperiences. I've enjoyed
eye-opening boat trips on theTonle Sap River in Cambodia and
(04:25):
the Tsiribihina in Madagascar. Istudied Spanish for two weeks in
a small Honduran village, wheremy husband, John, and I became
groupies for a band from ElSalvador. We got to watch the
sun set over the Guatemalanjungle from atop an ancient
Mayan pyramid after all the tourbusses left us with the quiet of
the jungle. And I got to the endof the Mississippi River with
(04:46):
John Ruskey. I didn't have muchexperience with wilderness
camping before that trip, andfretted a lot up front about how
well I'd adapt to the loss ofdaily conveniences, but I went
anyway, and because I did, Ichecked off a bucket list item,
and had one of the best travelexperiences of my life.
You're going to learn an awfullot about me in this book. The
(05:08):
stories are really personal,some of them from travel
experiences I just haven'ttalked about all that much, and
I don't sugarcoat what happened.
I hate travel books that makeevery travel experience look
like a trip to Pleasantville orthe plot of a Hallmark movie.
I've got some good stories,plenty of happy endings for
sure, but I don't shy away fromwriting about the struggles too.
(05:29):
Still, travel has brought metremendous joy, helped me
connect to people and placesaround the world, challenged me
to try things I never would haveotherwise, tested my patience,
taken me inside worlds I neverexpected to see, and ultimately
made me a stronger, moreconfident, and resilient person.
(05:52):
I think we underestimate howinvigorating, how life-affirming
it can be to travel tounfamiliar places, meet new
people and see the world in aslightly different way than we
did before. I'm not saying thatthe way I travel, independently,
is easy. Sometimes it's damnhard, especially when you arrive
in an unfamiliar town after darkand have a hard time finding an
(06:15):
available room. But it's nearlyimpossible to experience these
life-affirming moments when welet safety concerns squash our
curiosity.
So I hope these stories willfire up your curiosity and steel
your courage too, or at the veryleast that you find them
entertaining, even if you haveno intention of taking a chicken
(06:37):
bus through El Salvador.
I'm releasing this bookinitially through Kickstarter
only. You may be wondering whyit's a fair question. But it's
pretty simple, actually.
Kickstarter offers a new way forindie authors like me to release
books and connect directly withpeople who are interested in our
work, and I get to offersomething different from what
you'll find on the typicalretail platforms.
(07:02):
In this case, I've created ahardcover edition of the book
with full color photos, 63 ofthem. I'm only offering the
hardcover through Kickstarter.
You won't find it anywhere else.
Besides that, Kickstarter givesme a chance to offer other
editions of the book before theygo on sale anywhere else. You'll
be able to get the paper backwith those same 63 photos, but
(07:24):
in black and white. The ebookand the audiobook narrated by me
weeks before they go on saleanywhere else. The campaign will
go live on June 15, but you cansign up now with the pre-launch
page to get updates about thecampaign, including a note on
the day it officially kicks off.
Even if you don't think you'llbe interested in this book
(07:47):
yourself, maybe you know someonewho might be. If so, I'd be
grateful if you'd help me spreadthe word about the book and this
Kickstarter campaign to yourfriends and family who are
interested in travel stories.
You can visit the pre-launchpage and sign up for updates at
https://deanklinkenberg.com/better-safe-than-sorryand unfortunately, when I
created that URL, there arehyphens between better safe than
(08:09):
sorry, so it's better, hyphensafe, hyphen than, hyphen sorry.
Yeah, sorry about that.
If that's too much, you can alsojust go to the show notes for
this episode atMississippiValleyTraveler.com/podcast
and I'll have a link there aswell. And also in the show notes
I'll put up there a copy of thebook cover, and probably a few
(08:33):
trips from probably a few photosfrom trips as well, so you can
see what's in the book.
But before you go away, I wantto offer a flavor of what's
actually in the book. Stickaround after this introduction,
and you can hear a chapter fromthe audiobook, the introductory
chapter narrated by me.
(08:53):
As always, thank you for yourinterest in my work, and thank
you to those of you who haveshown support through Patreon.
For as little as $1 a month, youcan join that Patreon community,
get the early access toepisodes, and just generally get
the satisfaction of knowing youare part of the community that
keeps this podcast going. If youwant to join the Patreon
(09:14):
community, just go topatreon.com/deanklinkenberg, and
you can find instructions there.
Patreon not your thing. Buy me acoffee. Again, you can go to
MississippiValleyTraveler.com/podcastand there you will find
instructions on how to buy me acoffee. As always, thanks for
your ongoing support. And nowlet's get on to the introduction
from 'Better Safe Than Sorry: Slow Boats, Chicken Busses, and (09:34):
undefined
the Radical Choice to Trust theWorld'.
Introduction. Epigraph "For whatgives value to travel. Is fear
(10:15):
At the age of 21 I got acceptedinto a program to study in
France for a semester. I was aFrench minor in college, so
studying in Grenoble at the footof the Alps would be a great way
for me to advance my languageskills, as well as an exciting
it breaks down the kind of innerstructure we have. One can no
alternative to enduring anotherWisconsin winter. I was an
insecure, hesitant young man, sothe trip offered a chance to
(10:38):
longer cheat, hide behind thehours spent at the office or at
break out of my shell, developconfidence, get a crash course
in wine and learn about howpeople live in another part of
the world. The trip could havebeen all of those things and
the plant." Albert Camus.
more. I'll never know, becausewhen the day arrived to make my
travel arrangements, I backed out.
I'm not naturally confident,quite the opposite, truth be
(10:59):
told. I invented 100 reasons toskip the semester abroad, but it
boiled down to this. I wasafraid I'd fail. I felt anxious
I wouldn't fit in, worried Icouldn't speak French well
enough, and the program wouldexpose my inadequacy. Scared I'd
be lonely. So much fear. Ratherthan test myself, I invented
(11:20):
excuses to stay home to avoidthe potential embarrassment of
failing. The irony, of course,is that by backing out of the
trip because of my fears, Ifailed spectacularly.
I sometimes think back to thatmoment, to my backing out of the
program, and wonder whatexperiences I might have had
(11:42):
living near the Alps insoutheastern France for six
months. What path might my lifehave taken? I might never have
come back from Europe. Would Iever have an opportunity like
that again?
My parents introduced me to thepossibilities of travel. When I
(12:05):
was a kid my family vacationedalmost every summer. We'd get up
well before sunrise to avoidtraffic. Dad would load and
unload luggage and suppliesuntil it all fit perfectly in
the trunk. I'd settle into theworn back seat of a station
wagon or sedan, pull out thelicense plate game board or a
Travel Fires Up My Curiosity.
(12:25):
book, and we'd hit the road. AsI stared out the window and
watched the world roll by, myimagination kicked into gear.
Our family lived on a tightbudget when I was a kid, but we
still got in a summer road tripnearly every year. Sometimes my
dad turned an extended work tripinto a family vacation. We lived
in a motel in San Francisco forfour weeks one summer, Atlanta
(12:47):
for a few weeks the next. Mysister and I traveled with Dad
to Los Angeles. While he worked,we played at Disneyland. Besides
the frequent vacations, we moveda lot. I went to grade school in
four different cities, the worldI knew extended far beyond
whatever neighborhood we livedin. As young adults, my husband,
(13:11):
John and I, traveled from coastto coast. We lived frugally,
like my parents had, but fearsof traveling around unfamiliar
places limited my imaginationmore than concerns about money.
Taking a long road trip to NewEngland was fine. We understood
American culture, but Spain orChina? At the same time, the
(13:33):
sense that I'd missed out onsomething important by backing
out of the study abroad programin college loomed in the back of
my mind. Still, I couldn't tampdown my desire to travel. John
and I got hooked on travelshows, including 'Lonely Planet'
and Anthony Bourdain's 'NoReservations.' Those shows
opened my eyes to thepossibilities of independent
(13:54):
travel around the world, ofvisiting places I might never
have otherwise considered or hadbeen afraid to travel to. The
vicarious experience of watchinghosts make their way around the
world gave me concrete examplesto follow and boosted my
confidence to take on thechallenges of traveling outside
the US myself. And they showedme experiences I was missing out
(14:16):
on by giving in to the samefears that had kept me from
studying abroad.
Years later I've traveled toevery US state and 45 countries.
I've seen great works of art,the Sistine Chapel, Picasso's
'Guernica,' and intricatemandalas. I've admired such
astounding engineering feats asthe temples at Angkor in
(14:39):
Cambodia, the pre-Columbianmounds at Cahokia and the stone
citadel of Machu Picchu. Icelebrated King's Day on the
streets of Amsterdam withthousands of new Dutch friends
and walked 13 miles alongYamanobe-no-michi in Japan, one
of the oldest roads in theworld. But I've also shared
conversation and slivovitz withsurvivors of the siege of
(15:03):
Sarajevo, sold beer from a boothat an Easter festival in
Honduras, and sat 10 feet from apride of lions as they walked by
the safari vehicle I sat in.
Travel indulges my curiosity,helps me feel alive. Through
travel, I've met people who havemade my life richer and more
meaningful, and I'd like tothink they felt the same way.
(15:25):
The connections I made whiletraveling helped me feel like
I'd found a home away from home,or maybe more accurately, a home
that extended well beyond theboundaries of the place where I
kept my stuff. I've learnedthere's more than one way to fry
a potato, and that mayo isdelicious on french fries. I've
seen firsthand the differentways cultures try to balance the
(15:47):
needs of the individual with theneeds of society at large, and I
better appreciate the trade-offsbecause of that. I understand
the world as an overwhelminglybeautiful place with far more
good people than touts.
Travel helps me put my life inperspective. It clarifies where
I fit in. (Hint (16:06):
it turns out life isn't all about me,
dammit!). Travel brings me joyand stimulates gratitude. Spend
some time in a country wheremost people don't have access to
decent health care or cleanwater, and tell me you don't
feel lucky you were born whereyou were.
Don't get me wrong, I've hadplenty of moments on the road
(16:27):
that made me wonder if I wouldhave been better off staying
home. Some train stations andairports are confusing. I'm
looking at you, Addis Ababa,especially after the third
security pat down, and when noneof the signs were in my native
language. A couple of times I'vegotten into a new town late at
night, only to discover thatopen rooms were in short supply,
(16:50):
which was frustrating and scary.
I've trembled from thevulnerability of needing help,
but being forced to communicatewhat I was looking for by
pointing or acting it out.
Still, travel has offered agreat way to get past my fears
and retrain my brain to getexcited about potential benefits
rather than worrying aboutunlikely risks, but, oy, first I
(17:15):
had to get past those fears,like the ones that kept me from
studying in France.
Fear.
The night before we left forThailand, I woke up in a panic.
My heart raced, and I struggledto catch my breath as the images
echoed in my head. I couldn'tfind my passport. The person
(17:38):
who'd promised to take us to theairport didn't show up. We stood
behind 100 people to check inand get our boarding passes. I
couldn't figure out which gatewe were supposed to go to. I
couldn't find the gate. Theplane was oversold and the
airline had given away my seatbecause I checked in late. After
we landed, I got singled out atcustoms for a full body
(17:58):
inspection. I lost the name ofour hotel. The taxi driver
charged us double the expectedprice. The hotel was overbooked
and had given away our room. Somany things that could go wrong,
and thinking about them all surefires up the anxiety and fear. I
know I'm not alone. For plentyof people, the idea of traveling
(18:19):
somewhere unfamiliar triggersanxieties about safety.
A few years ago, as John and Ienjoyed drinks with friends and
a couple of strangers, we sharedstories from a trip where we'd
spent two months travelingaround Central America. As I
described the pleasure ofenjoying the Mayan ruins at
Tikal, after the hordes oftourists had left and the sun
(18:40):
slowly set, one of the strangersinterrupted, "Is it safe?"
"Is what safe?""Being there at night, traveling
in Guatemala, all of it."She didn't ask "What's there to
do in Guatemala?", or "How wasthe food, or even how easy is it
to get laid there?" No, herfirst question was, "Is it
(19:02):
safe?"In all my travels, after months
on the road and thousands ofinteractions with people around
the world, I can think of only ahandful of times when something
undesirable happened. A coupleof times I ate something that
made me sick. Another time,pickpockets robbed my sister of
her passport and credit cards. Acouple of other times, John
(19:25):
thwarted a thief when he felt ahand in his pocket. Sometimes we
were charged more than we shouldhave been, or more than locals
were paying. The overwhelmingmajority of the time, though, we
have found people all over theworld to be helpful, gracious,
and curious, or at worstindifferent.
(19:49):
I don't mean to dismiss the ideathat travel comes with risk, of
course it does, and twomiddle-aged gay men face risks
different from those faced by asingle woman or other travelers.
It's awfully easy to conflatelegitimate risks with what we're
told to fear. We can't beeverywhere all the time and know
everything, so we rely on othersto alert us to potential
(20:10):
dangers. That's part of theproblem. News and social media
feed us a steady diet of tragedyand conflict. You've probably
heard the unofficial motto thatdrives much of the media: "If it
bleeds, it leads." Stories thatstoke our fears draw us to 24/7
(20:31):
cable news channels and keep uswatching. Features about
assaults and murders drawviewers to local news channels,
which enables TV stations tosell profitable ads, posts that
rile up our anger or incite fearkeep us scrolling through social
media feeds. Politicians whowant our vote use the same
tools, (immigrants arerapists!), as do automobile
(20:55):
companies trying to sell usbigger, more expensive vehicles.
Keep your family safe. We arevulnerable to fear-based
messages, all of us. "If itbleeds, it leads, and we'll
watch."Our attraction to stories that
amplify the unsavory side ofhumanity takes a toll. Not only
(21:16):
does all that exposure to deathand mayhem make us believe the
world is far more dangerous thanit really is. It ultimately
makes us feel more wary aroundstrangers and in unfamiliar
places.
Travel, like life, isn'trisk-free, but our fears have
(21:37):
grown way out of proportion tothe actual risks. Social media
posts oversimplify reality. Newsoutlets cover only a sliver of
what's happening in the world.
You may ask, "So what? I'drather be safe than sorry."
Better safe than sorry. We actas if a safety-first mindset
(21:57):
doesn't cost us anything. Itabsolutely does. When fear rules
our lives, we retreat in everyshadow. We see harm instead of
shade. Our neighbors look likethreats instead of allies. The
world looks like a minefieldinstead of flower-covered
meadows. We find comfort insocial media algorithms that
(22:19):
feed us only what we want to seeand believe, we don't leave our
safety bubble (or we might besorry!) so our world grows
smaller and smaller, or we backout of studying for a semester
in Grenoble, France, and spendanother winter in Wisconsin.
(22:40):
The Promise of Travel.
I eventually learned to use timeaway from home to challenge
myself to get past fears andanxieties. After all, I'd be
around people I'd never seeagain, an insight I found
liberating. I became morewilling to try things I'd never
(23:00):
do at home. After I understoodthis, travel became unexpectedly
therapeutic. I tried out newversions of who I wanted to be.
I struck up conversations withstrangers while standing in
line. I ordered food I'd neverheard of. I mispronounced my way
through phrase books. I learnedsalsa dancing in a neighborhood
(23:22):
bar. I walked into taverns andrestaurants in neighborhoods
where no one looked like me. Iwore silly hats. I tried and
sometimes failed, but along theway I developed confidence in my
ability to handle unfamiliarsituations and to bounce back
better after mistakes.
(23:43):
I'm surprised at how much travelhas over time changed my life.
Not all at once, or during asingle crisis-fueled expedition.
I didn't magically discovertruth and happiness by traveling
to the right place for theperfect amount of time and
letting the town square work itsmagic. The changes have been
subtle, gradual, and sometimeshard to perceive from moment to
(24:06):
moment. But when I think back towho I was in my twenties and who
I am today, the differencesamaze me.
Travel hasn't inoculated meagainst fear and anxiety. I'm
just better at taking them alongfor the ride instead of letting
them lead. I learned I have somecontrol over how I respond to
adversity. We can't get ticketsto see that famous painting that
(24:30):
everyone wants to see? Well,there are a dozen other museums
that showcase great art. Ormaybe it's time to take a break
and sip coffee and people watchfor a couple of hours. Our
flight home got canceled and itis raining too hard to explore
the city? We will enjoy a nicemeal in the hotel with a good
(24:51):
bottle of wine, courtesy of theairline. Don't like the look of
the street ahead of us? We canturn around, walk another route,
or call an Uber.
I'm not saying I look forward tofeeling like a fool when I ask
in an unfamiliar language,"Where's the bathroom?" It's not
that I don't worry about gettingmugged, I'm hardly immune to the
(25:13):
fear-based messages thedoom-industrial complex bombards
us with. I've just learned topush through my initial fears.
Something will always go wrong.
Always. Regardless of how muchplanning I've done. Flights run
late. Inns are full. Strikesshut down trains. Someone is
trying to make a buck off me,and they don't care how. But now
(25:34):
I trust my ability to cope andadjust when the shit hits the
fan.
So yeah, travel has absolutelychanged me. Even if no single
travel experience movedmountains in my life. Rather,
travel experiences have shapedme like wind blowing over a sand
(25:56):
dune. Each time I go somewherenew, my ideas about myself, the
world, and other people shift,even if just a little. Sometimes
I feel those changes while I'mtraveling, but most of the time
they only sink in after I'm backhome, and my mind has had time
to catch up with theexperiences.
(26:16):
In the stories that follow, Iend up on an overcrowded boat
for seven hours, get lost in amarsh on a solo canoe trip.
Trust the wrong people, dodgescams, embarrass myself in front
of strangers, and have my travelplans upended when a new
friend's mother diesunexpectedly. And how many times
(26:39):
did I regret not following theadvice "better safe than sorry"?
Zero. Well, maybe in Tangier...
Well, as I mentioned before,that was the introduction from
my new travel memoir, 'BetterSafe Than Sorry: Slow Boats,
Chicken Busses, and the RadicalChoice to Trust the World.' Let
me know what you think. You candrop a comment in the show
(27:01):
notes, or email me atdean@deanklinkenberg.com. And if
you want to know more, like ifyou want to follow the
Kickstarter release, contributeto the Kickstarter campaign, you
can find that again by going tohttps://deanklinkenberg.com/better-safe-than-sorry,
and the Better Safe Than Sorry,unfortunately has hyphens
between each of those words, soyou put those in, or you can
(27:22):
just go to the show notes, whereyou'll find a link directly there.
Thank you very much for yourinterest, and for following my
work.
Thanks for listening. If youenjoyed this episode, subscribe
to the series on your favoritepodcast app, so you don't miss
out on future episodes. I offerthe podcast for free, but when
you support the show with a fewbucks through Patreon you help
(27:45):
keep the program going. Just goto patreon.com/deanklinkenberg.
If you want to know more aboutthe Mississippi River, check out
my books. I write theMississippi Valley Traveler
Guidebooks for people who wantto get to know the Mississippi
better. I also write the FrankDodge Mystery Series that's set
in places along the river. Findthem wherever books are sold.
(28:06):
The Mississippi Valley Travelerpodcast is written and produced
by me, Dean Klinkenberg.
Original music by Noah Fence.
See you next time.
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