33. Trusting the Nudge: Lessons from My First Keynote & the Reality of Women's Struggles

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In this episode of The Nurses' Breakroom with Jenny Lytle, RN, I share my experience of stepping into the unknown—delivering my first keynote speech for International Women’s Day. From an unexpected opportunity to the challenges of preparing for a high-stakes talk, I dive into the importance of following those inner nudges (or "God nudges") and embracing discomfort for growth.

This episode also sheds light on the deeper realities women face, including shocking statistics about gender inequality, leadership gaps in healthcare, and the devastating impact of domestic violence. I open up about my own past experience with an abusive relationship and the life-threatening dangers many women unknowingly face.

Key Takeaways & Action Steps:

✔️ Trust the Nudge – Whether you call it intuition or divine guidance, leaning into discomfort often leads to growth.
✔️ Women in Healthcare – 75% of healthcare workers are women, yet only 28% hold leadership roles. Let's change that.
✔️ The Overload Crisis – 72% of women feel too overwhelmed to prioritize their own health. It's time to shift that narrative.
✔️ The Hidden Danger of Strangulation – A shocking fact: if a partner has strangled a woman even once, her risk of being murdered by that partner increases by 750%.
✔️ Support for Domestic Violence Survivors – Help is available. See the resources below.

Domestic Violence Resources

If you or someone you know needs support, here are confidential, 24/7 resources:

📞 The National Domestic Violence Hotline

• Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
• Text: "Start" to 88788
• Chat via website: thehotline.org

📞 Love is Respect (Teen Dating Violence Help)

• Website: loveisrespect.org

📞 RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Sexual Assault Hotline

• Call: 800-656-HOPE (4673)
• Website: rainn.org

💬 Have you ever followed a gut instinct that changed your life? Let’s discuss! Connect with me on social media or at JennyLytle.com.

📢 If this episode resonates with you, please share it with a friend, leave a review, and help spread awareness!

If you're feeling overwhelmed, burned out, or like there’s never enough time, I’ve got something just for you! Head to https://selfcareisntselfish.com to grab your FREE copy of my book, Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: The Compassionate Nurse’s Step-by-Step Guide to Personalized Stress Relief. It’s packed with simple, effective strategies to help you prioritize your needs—without guilt—so you can feel energized, focused, and ready to take on the day. Go to https://selfcareisntselfish.com 

Looking for connection with people who get the stress and self-care struggles of nurses and caregivers? Check out https://thenursesbreakroom.com

Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennylytlern/

More ways to connect here: https://linktr.ee/jennylytle

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the
Nurse's Breakroom with JennyLytle-Arien.
Today is going to be a littlebit different because we just
celebrated International Women'sDay, and that is annually on
March the 8th, and this year wasthe first time that I was
involved in anything planned andstructured for the day, and it

(00:24):
was actually the day of my firstkeynote speech as well.
So that was exciting and it wasa situation where I feel like
there was a lot of things thataligned.
I felt a God prompting to reachout to someone that was

(00:47):
organizing our localInternational Women's Day, and
it was someone, actually, that Ididn't know, but I had seen
where she was connecting withsomeone else about this woman's
event and I didn't even knowexactly what it was.
And then we ended up meeting ina networking event a couple of
days later and I went up and Italked to her and she was like,

(01:10):
oh my gosh, I'd love you to do ayou know, a workshop and all of
that.
And so I thought, well, that'dbe great.
You know, I mean a self-careworkshop for International
Women's Day.
You know we definitely need itDay.
You know we definitely need it.
But then, a little bit laterthat day I was just feeling this

(01:31):
nudge to throw my hat in thering for the keynote speech, and
I was very transparent with her.
I said it's not something thatI've ever done before, but I,
you know, I'd have a couple ofmonths to prepare and I feel
like I could do it.
And you know, I'd have a coupleof months to prepare and I feel
like I could do it and and allof that.
And there were a couple otherpeople that were experienced,
that were already in the worksfor potentially doing that, and

(01:55):
so I knew that, that you knowthat it wasn't very likely that
that was going to happen, but itwas something that I felt like
I was supposed to at leastpropose.
And so I did that, because Ihave found that when I feel
those little God nudges is how Ithink of them that I can either

(02:20):
like fight it and then end upregretting it or end up giving
in anyway, or I can just embracethat, and so that's what I did.
And so here was somebody thatyou know that I didn't know, and
I said, look, I know this isgoing to sound like really out
there, and you know, this isn'tnormally something that I would
do and, honestly, it'sincredibly uncomfortable for me
to like pitch myself for thisand then be really honest about
the fact that you know there'sso many reasons why you

(02:42):
shouldn't pick me.
But fast forward about a monthlater and she reached back out
and said hey, look, you knowthese couple of other people
aren't going to work out.
Are you still interested indoing it?
And of course, I said yes, andand then I thought, okay, you

(03:03):
know what, like I don't reallyknow what to do with this.
The International Women's Dayhas a different theme each year,
and this theme was acceleratingaction, so toward, you know,
equality and ending genderdisparity.
And so I thought, okay, youknow, like I can talk about
stress and self-care and all ofthat, but this is a different

(03:25):
spin on it, and so it was notsomething that flowed as easily
for me as some other things do.
But, long story short, I did it.
Let's just say that, when thetime came, things did not go
exactly like I had planned.
But you know, it's not the waythat life goes.

(03:52):
A lot of times it just doesn't.
It doesn't go the way that weplan for it to, and so it was
one of those situations, andthere were not nearly as many
people there as I had, as I hadhoped, but the people that I did
present to had very positivefeedback, and so there are just
a couple of things that I wouldlike to share with you that I

(04:17):
discovered while I was doingthis and prepping for this.
So just a moment here, let mepull this up so that I don't end
up going through my entirepresentation for you.
So, like I said, the topic wasaccelerating action, and so my
take on that was the inner workof accelerating action, because

(04:38):
prioritizing yourself isn'tselfish.
It's essential for change, andso one of the things that I did
think was interesting and, atthe same time, shocking, is, at
the current rate, genderequality.
It's still continue the waythey are.
That's when we'll actually haveequality, and so that's why

(05:11):
it's important to do things thataccelerate that timeline,
because that's too far away.
That's too far away.
So just a couple of stats herethat I found interesting.
Women still earn less and weknow that and have less
leadership representation.
So, on average, we earn 82cents to the male dollar, and in

(05:37):
healthcare, women make up 75%of the people working in
healthcare, but only like 28% ofus are in leadership roles.
And again, something that Ihadn't really thought about, I
just kind of accepted it is thatthe home load as well is.

(06:00):
Most women carry the majorityof that.
You know the household and thecaregiving responsibilities, and
we're the ones not only doingthe.
You know the heavy lifting interms of regular household
things and you know the verytangible things that we do.

(06:21):
But when it comes to setting upplans and planning for holidays
and get-togethers and thingslike that, you know we carry the
majority of that load as well,and as a result of all those
things, 72% of women feel toooverwhelmed to make their own
health a priority.
And that is shocking and it'sscary and it's scary.

(06:57):
So our particular InternationalWomen's Day celebration was to
benefit the Family ServiceAssociation, domestic violence
shelter here locally, and so Ishared some facts about domestic
violence, and you know thatmany women don't feel safe in
their homes.
41% of women experiencedomestic violence, sexual
violence or stalking.
More than half of femalehomicide victims in the US are

(07:18):
killed by a current or formerpartner and, specifically in
Indiana, 42.5% of women in thestate have faced intimate
partner violence and, just toput that in perspective, every
nine seconds a woman in the USis abused by her current or
former husband or intimatepartner, and the average number

(07:38):
of times for a woman to leave anabuser before she finds a way
to stay out is seven.
And you know, the scary thingis is like sometimes there's not
seven opportunities.
Now, something that really shookme a month or so ago my husband

(08:01):
and I were driving and I wasreading an article about someone
who had been killed by herhusband and in it it said it had
this like really startlingthing about strangulation
because her husband hadstrangled her, and when I heard

(08:23):
it I thought that can't be right.
When I heard it, I thought thatcan't be right.
So the thing is, if a woman'spartner has ever strangled her,
even once, her risk of beingmurdered by that same partner
with a gun shoots up 750%compared to a woman who has

(08:44):
never been strangled.
That's a direct quote.
50% compared to a woman who hasnever been strangled, that's a
direct quote.
And I, when I read that, I waslike what, that can't be right.
And so I looked into it moreand, yes, it seems that that is
accurate.
Now, strangulation is not thesame as choking, even though

(09:05):
women will often say chokedChoking is an internal thing.
Strangulation, as defined by theTraining Institute on
Strangulation Prevention, is theobstruction of blood vessels
and or airflow in the neckresulting in asphyxia.
It doesn't matter how long youhave been strangled for it to be

(09:30):
considered strangulation, andonly half of strangulation cases
leave a mark.
Now, aside from that just beinglike an incredibly startling
fact in and of itself, it reallyhit home for me because I had,

(09:52):
before I met my husband, I hadbeen in a relationship that was
mutually abusive verbally,emotionally and sometimes
physically and I had joked thatyou know God dropped my husband
into my lap and said you knowyou make bad choices here.

(10:14):
Try this one.
And I said you know if, if Iwould have stayed with my
previous partner, one of us orboth of us would have likely
ended up in prison or dead.
And I mean I said that kind offlippantly and somewhat jokingly
, but at the same time I didkind of believe that.

(10:35):
But when I read this I thought,oh, like I did not realize that
it was really that close.
Because, yes, there were timeswhen he had his hands around my
throat and you know, I doremember a particular instance

(10:56):
of you know him having me downon the bed with his hand around
my throat and saying I love you,bitch, and so I just really.
It really hit home for me and Ididn't realize then how close

(11:20):
that was.
Something else I read as I waslooking at this is when a man
puts his hands on a woman's neck, on her throat.
That it's like he's raising hishand and saying I'm a killer,
and that seems so dramatic.
But at the same time there's alot of there's been a lot of

(11:41):
research on this.
So if that's something thatapplies to you, if someone has
ever strangled you and now onlyhalf of strangulation cases
leave a mark, so it doesn'tmatter if you weren't bruised,
it doesn't matter if you didn'tlose consciousness.

(12:04):
The fact is, if someone didthat, you're at a huge risk and
I know it can be easy torationalize things like that,
but there is help available.
But there is help available Ifyou hear of a friend saying

(12:42):
something like that.
Just be aware of what kind ofdanger you or she are in.
So, moving on, then I talked abit about the roles that we play
as women and there's so manydifferent hats that we wear, and
I went in a bit to the way thatwe can make a difference.
And I, for the sake of timebecause I know this is much
longer than my normal episodesso I am going to go into that a

(13:05):
little bit more next week, butright now, the most important
thing that I want you to takeaway is that, even when things
don't go like we planned, we canstill get a lot out of it.
We can still get a lot out ofit, and when we feel those
nudges, you know I think of them, like I said, as God nudges.

(13:35):
You may think of them as yourintuition Lean into that, even
if it's uncomfortable.
And sometimes I think,especially if it's uncomfortable
, because those things thatwe're afraid to do are often the
things that we really need todo.
And also, just keep in mindthat there are a lot of women
who are struggling with domesticviolence and it's not always as

(14:00):
easy as well.
Just leave.
And there are a lot of domesticviolence resources and I will
share some of them.
But you know, one thing thatyou can do is you can go to the
hotlineorg, and that's theNational Domestic Violence
Hotline.
You're able to chat there onthe website, you can text.

(14:20):
You can also call 800-799-SAFEor text START to 88788.
Or you can also go to RAINNorg,which is the Rape, abuse and
Incest National Network SexualAssault Hotline, and that number

(14:41):
is 800-656-HOPE.
Until next time, rememberself-care isn't selfish.
It's essential if we want tocontinue to care for others and
live our best lives.
And also, you're worth so muchmore than you believe.