The Brochure on Being in Your Own Bed Again

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Twelve days in the hospital can blur into a single, sleepless memory. After an ER stretch that felt endless, we finally brought my husband home—but not before the big question families everywhere wrestle with: skilled nursing facility or recovery at home. 

I share a past experience guiding my thinking: my dad’s fall, a stint in rehab, and an underwhelming version of “more PT” that didn’t translate into real progress. That history didn’t force our hand, but it sharpened our questions about quality physical therapy, rest, and dignity. This time, community made the difference. Neighbors stepped up to walk our high-energy dog. Our pets—confused, then subdued—lit back up when he returned, reminding me that emotional care is part of medical recovery. Thirty steps from the car to the bed became a milestone, not just movement.

Caregiving is logistics and love in equal measure. LA traffic, parking, security lines, long hallways, and longer worries take a toll that numbers don’t capture. Choosing home shifted us from system-led routines to human-centered care: a no-fall rule, simple meals, structured rest, and steady check-ins from people who know us. The week’s rain—an atmospheric river—forced a slower rhythm and gave us the space to notice progress: better sleep, less pain, more calm.

If you’re on the edge of a similar choice, this story offers a practical lens: prioritize sleep, demand meaningful therapy, and build a small circle that shares the load. We’re not chasing perfect; we’re building momentum. Subscribe for more candid looks at adulthood’s hard decisions, share this with someone navigating care choices, and leave a review with your best home-healing tip so others can learn from your experience.

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Episode Transcript

Tracy (00:05):
Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast.
I'm your host, Tracy Wallace.
Have you ever felt like youdidn't receive the how-to
brochure on life?
That you didn't get enoughguidance about major life
issues?
So did I.
You don't have to be an onlychild to feel this way.

(00:25):
In my podcast, we'll exploresome of the best ways to better
navigate adulthood.
By doing so, with human family.
Welcome everyone to the OnlyChild Diaries Podcast.
Today I'm gonna update you onour hospital visit, my husband's

(00:52):
hospital stay, which endedyesterday.
It was day 12, which, if youlistened to last week's episode,
you know uh it started off inthe ER, 26 hours, in fact, in
the ER.
And yes, it finally ended.

(01:13):
At some point, I really doubtedthat it would ever end, but it
did actually did actually end.
He did come home last night,and they had talked to us about,
you know, do you want to um goto a skilled nursing facility,

(01:35):
which in my mind is quoteunquote a rest home.
That's what we used to call itwhen I was growing up, or a
convalescent hospital, but nowthey call it a skilled nursing
facility, which I have issueswith that name, but I think
they're trying to put a nicerpackage on it, uh, make it a

(01:55):
nicer package.
Anyway, we talked about that.
Um, my experience with skillednursing, quote unquote skilled
nursing, is um or was with mydad, who uh had fallen and and
kind of messed up his knee whenhe was oh gosh, it was probably

(02:17):
two years before he died, maybethree years.
He was he was doing prettywell, and then uh he fell and
messed up his knee.
And so they put him in, he wasin the hospital, then he was in
the hospital's rehab unit, andthen they wanted to put him in
skilled nursing because theydidn't think he could manage at

(02:39):
home, even though we had acaregiver uh at home.
So we went to uh again, quoteunquote skilled nursing, because
they said that he could getmore PT, but the PT, the quality
of the PT, the physicaltherapy, was not that good.
It was very minimal, and itreally it really wasn't

(03:02):
enhancing his recovery.
So I took him out of that placeand I had to sign something
that said it was against medicaladvice.
And it was really, you'd thinkthat I was trying to kidnap him
or something.
So I didn't want to go throughthat again.
It was a mutual decisionbetween my husband and myself.

(03:26):
Uh, it was really, I reallyleft it more to him.
If he had wanted to go, I wouldhave supported it.
But of course, he did not wantto go be somewhere else for
another two or three weeks.
He was tired of being not hisown bed, not his own
environment.
He really missed uh our pets,the cat and the dog.

(03:50):
I would send him pictures ofthem here at home, and he would,
you know, he'd say, Oh, Istarted crying because he really
missed there our kids, right?
So I know that was really hardon him.
And he also wasn't sleepingvery well, and it was a
cumulative effect, so that aftera week he'd sleep throughout

(04:15):
the day, but in little spurts,and I would go to visit him, and
he would be asking me, How'sthis, how's that going?
And I'd be answering him, andI'd look at him, and he would
have nodded off and actuallystarted snoring while I was
still talking and the TV wasblaring.
So I knew he was reallyexhausted and he really needed

(04:38):
to sleep.
And sometimes when you'rehealing, well, I mean, all the
time, when you're sleep, whenyou're healing, you need to
sleep.
And in a skilled nursingfacility, I'm not sure that
that's the case.
I don't think that that's aprime sleeping setup either.
So he's home.

(04:58):
We uh enlisted this the uhassistance of one of our
neighbors who helped make surethat he got inside safely.
And because falling is not anoption anymore, I told him on
the way home if he falls, I'mgonna kick his ass.
Um because he can't, he justcan't fall anymore.

(05:22):
So, but he did make it in onhis own.
He walked from the car to thebed, which was probab it's
probably I'm guessing that's 30steps, and that's the longest
he's walked in four weeks,probably.
So I think he did really well.
So he had a nerve block in hisback, and I I I'm not sure of

(05:49):
the actual specificationsbecause I didn't get to talk to
the doctor about it myself, butI think they numb it with
something and then they putsteroids in it as well.
So it provides longer-termrelief.
So he was able to sit in thecar comfortably, which he, you

(06:10):
know, beforehand, if you heardmy um discussion about the ER,
you know, going into the ER, hewas not able to sit for even a
minute comfortably, and he'sable to stand, and he just needs
to um he needs to regain hisstrength.
Right.
So anyway, that's that's wherewe're at.

(06:34):
Um I I think having havingsupportive people around you,
having uh, you know, people thatcan help you, like our
neighbors, they have been takingour dog every day for a walk
because I don't have thebandwidth really to spend that

(06:55):
much time with her.
And our dog is kind of highenergy.
She needs to have an outlet forher energy, and I just don't
have again, I don't have thebandwidth for that.
So they've been then they havetheir own dog.
So they've been taking heralong with them every day, and
that's been a great help for us,so she's a little calmer.

(07:16):
I know that she's really missedhuman interaction because I've
had to leave and go to thehospital every day, nearly every
day.
I think I missed uh one day.
Um so she's missed thatinteraction because somebody's
usually home, you know, all thetime with them.

(07:38):
And our cat also, I think, Ithink in the beginning of the 12
days, I think they were bothconfused about, you know,
where's dad and what's going on,and gee, this sucks.
We just have you to deal with.
And then I think the secondhalf of the 12 days, I think,

(07:58):
especially the cat started toget kind of depressed because I
think they both started to seethis as the new normal, and they
probably didn't think daddy wascoming home.
They didn't really know wherehe was, but they probably didn't
think he was coming home again.
So they just I saw adifference, especially in the

(08:23):
cat.
Um, and I was very careful toplay with him every day and make
sure that he had, you know,interaction as well.
Um, because he's pretty stoic,but I wanted to make sure he was
okay.
Now LA got hit with rain, andwe don't usually get hit with

(08:44):
rain.
This is, you know, the what dothey call it?
The atmospheric river, whichmeans, you know, aka a lot of
rain.
And everybody's kind of nervousabout the burn scar areas where
the fires were.
Um, but we did get a lot ofrain.
Not as much consistently as Ithought we'd get, but there's

(09:07):
been some periods of time when Iwas like, wow, is it wow,
that's really heavy.
So everything's really soaked.
I think it'll be good becausethings will be, you know,
they'll get green, but um,everything's pretty, pretty,
pretty sloshy out there, prettymuddy.
And I know there's been somedamage uh with trees and

(09:29):
whatnot.
Not that I've seen, but on thenews, whatnot.
So anyway, I am very gratefulthat my husband's home.
I'm also very grateful that Idon't have to make that long
drive to the hospital every day.
I was that is really exhaustingin LA traffic, 14, 15 miles one

(09:53):
way is really a long way to go.
Then you have to park, then youhave to go through security,
and then you have to get yourbadge.
And um, you know, it's a lot.
And there's a lot of walkingbecause he was down at the end
of a long hallway.
He wasn't, I mean, it was agood thing he wasn't close to an
elevator or something, butthere's a lot of physical

(10:15):
activity.
Then you have to, okay, I'mgoing, gotta walk out to the
car.
Um, you know, is it's a lot ofphysicality and emotionally, you
know, is very concerned andworried, and um that really took
it out of me.
So, and just keeping track ofeverything here at the house,

(10:37):
which I will continue to dountil he really gets back on his
feet.
But um, looking forward tothat, and hopefully the nerve
block lasts for a while umbefore he has to have something
else done.
But um, anyway, so that's whereI'm at.
I'm gonna go rest now, and uhnext week we'll tackle another

(11:03):
topic together.
I hope you'll join me.
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(11:26):
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Channel Diaries Podcast.
Thanks for listening.
I'm Tracy Wallace, and theseare the Only Channel Diaries.