Behind The Mask: Leadership, Love, And The Cost Of Carrying It All | Joe Roman E29

Behind The Mask” brings Ryan Garland and Joe Roman into a candid breakdown of what it takes to operate at pace in private equity. Ryan outlines the operator mindset: answer the phone after five, stay mission-driven, protect the downside, and lead with compassion without compromising accountability. He opens up about divorce, blended family dynamics, and the pressure of capital markets, using hard-won lessons to separate givers from takers in teams. Expect a practical look at hiring (why résumés often mislead), building loyalty, navigating California employment law realities, and keeping culture strong when the world feels like it’s burning—rates, real estate, politics, crypto. Ryan explains why forgiveness is a performance tool, how faith and hope reduce leadership drag, and why selfless love creates peace at home (the fuel that sustains high performance at work). From father-son legacy to “blank canvas” resets after hitting bottom, this episode is a masterclass in turning setbacks into clarity, discipline, and repeatable results. Leaders, investors, and operators will leave with a human playbook for transparency, integrity, and execution—the real differentiators in real estate and private equity.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:20):
What's up, everybody?
Ryan Garland here, your founderand chairman, your favorite
founder and chairman in thewhole entire world.
But uh, as you guys know, I'dlike to bring on special guests
and some of you that have beenkind of binge watching and
listening to my podcast.
We have Joe Roman here, which ismy videographer and partner in
the company.
And this is really importantbecause he typically pulls out
all of the emotions out of me.

(00:41):
And he likes to get me to kindof talk from the heart and some
of the things that I'veexperienced and some of the
personal side.
We've gotten a lot of positivefeedback recently on, you know,
how uh some of the things Ipersonally have been through.
And I think a lot of people inthe world just haven't seen that
type of um I think commitment toexposing yourself to the world.
And I think it's not onlyfilling for my soul and and um

(01:04):
healing me to be able to be realwith you, but Joe has a unique
ability to pull it out.
I mean, when it's nice and quietat uh 8:30 at night on a Tuesday
night.
Is it Tuesday?
Yeah, Tuesday night.
So Joe, thanks for joining me,buddy.
I really appreciate it asalways.

SPEAKER_01 (01:17):
Yeah, of course.
And I think with the our ourlast mask off podcast, I had
said definitely gonna do a parttwo to this.
And I believe that is the numberone performing podcast episode
we have.
And even though we've done stuffwith Jordan Belford, Rich
Summers, which are greatpodcasters, I think our brand

(01:38):
and our vision with growing thiscompany, it's important for the
investors, the listeners, andthe followers to understand the
true self behind you and how youoperate, what your mindset is
like, personal and business.
So I'm looking forward to divingin into some of these questions
I want to pull out of you andget a deeper dive of the nuts

(01:59):
and bolts, literally andphysically, how you operate,
what are some things you've gonethrough and some of the
storytelling that you'verecently, you know, came by with
your traveling from state tostate.
So looking forward to this andlet's let's get this started,
baby.

SPEAKER_00 (02:15):
You know what's cool is that a lot of people always
ask me about you know some ofthe life, some of my life
experiences, they'll see certainlike snips on social media and
go, man, that really happened.
And you know, a lot of peoplekeep asking me to share more,
share more.
And I mean, I tell people fromwhen someone put a gun to my
chest and pulled the trigger andthe gun misfired.
I mean, down to the experiencesI went in when I was in Mexico.
And I mean, I've you know, thepeople TP in my house and like

(02:37):
the stories just kind of gonuts, right?
And so um I love being able toshare that side of me because it
makes me not only more human,but it there is like my life has
been wild, you know, and beingin in the space that I'm in,
private equity, you know, fastpaced, money doesn't sleep, that
whole nine yards.
It is true, man.
You are going a million miles anhour and you never sleep,
really.

(02:57):
It feels like right.
So, you know, I think uh I knowtoday you're gonna try to do
more emotional, kind of some ofthe personal stuff that I've
really gone through, especiallycertain certain traumas.
And I think that's relevantbecause I think a lot of people
just they need to feel likethey're not alone.
And that's what I want todeliver today.
So I know you're gonna ask mequestions I have not gone over.
By the way, guys, the way Joeand I work, we never go over a

(03:19):
script.
We literally go from the heart.
Um, we'll sit down and he juststarts asking questions.
You know, he's been with me forfour years, going on five years,
and he's just knows everythingabout me from my past marriage
to my existing marriage to mykids and how I raise them and
you know, employees and shiftingthrough the pandemic and all the
wonderful and and painfulcomponents to my life.
So he has uh an ability to pullthings out of me, and I'm hoping

(03:41):
I can add a lot of value and toshow you that I'm a normal
person and uh I got a big heartand I'm here to love and give,
and and I really want to justkeep pouring that into people
because that you know that's thecurrency for me.
I love it.

SPEAKER_01 (03:52):
Let's go, baby.
Let's go.
What were you just doing rightnow to get you in the mindset to
speak from your heart, speakfrom the demons you've over
overcome over the years, and howdo you kind of mitigate that
into what you're gonna do and orget through your day?

SPEAKER_00 (04:13):
You know, very rarely do I have time to like
meditate and have some downtimeand have some quiet time.
And there's a couple pianoacoustic songs that I listen to,
and I listen to it when I do allmy writing when I'm on the
plane, and it's really ironichow music can pull a lot of

(04:33):
emotion out of you depending onwhere you're at.
And uh, so I listen to those fewsongs and I think of everything,
and I've been listening to themfor years, so a lot of it really
mostly would stem around familyand missing my kids and
traveling and so forth back inthe day.
Now it's more you know, theemotional stuff of everything I

(04:54):
have on my plate, whether it'swork or family or stuff I'm
going through, you know.
But for me to get into like areal vibe to deliver the message
that I want to, you know,through these podcasts or you
know, spend time with people andreally try to connect with them,
I have to try to quiet down thenoise.
And so that music usually givesme the ability to quiet that
down.

SPEAKER_01 (05:13):
Right.
With all the stuff that you'verecently gone through from the
shift in the company to yourpersonal life, what are some key
motivational scriptures, quotes,or things you live by in times
that are challenging from bothends, company and personal?

SPEAKER_00 (05:38):
You know what's crazy is that I feel like I'm
going through a lot right now,but I feel like I've been
through worse.
And so I always would think, youknow, going from my first
marriage and to my secondmarriage, my first marriage, my
first divorce was so hard on me.
You know, I think when you'regoing through your first
divorce, it's so it feelssatanic, feels dirty.

(05:58):
You know, you go to a courtroomand it's just it's filthy, it's
nasty, you hear other people'sstories, you just it's just not
a good family, and people arefighting over kids and using
each other for money, and it'sjust really a dirty feeling, you
know.
And it's embarrassing,especially for me, because you
know, I'm so much in thelimelight that my reputation and
my image is so important, youknow.

(06:21):
And I think that was probablythe hardest time of my life at
that and and also 2008, all atthe same time.
You know, I had my accident,2008, had my first son, you
know, all that stuff all in oneshot.
And it was really hard.
Um so I've learned to have faithno matter what, you'll get
through it.
And and I think what happenedwas is when I found my second
wife, I was so intoxicatedwithin love with her that I

(06:44):
believed in love again.
And I think having faith isimportant.
So, no, scripture, I think it'sProverbs, it you know, it talks
about hope deferred makes theheart sick, but when the desire
comes, it's a tree of life.
And that is so important.
You know, losing hope or losingpurpose, you might as well just
say goodbye to your life.
Yeah, you know, you won't beable to deliver value for
anybody that you love if youlose hope.

(07:06):
So no matter what you're goingthrough, you really need to be
able to know and have faith thatyou'll get through it.
And I think one of the bestthings for me is having you in
my life and having good friendsand having a good company.
You know, I think the culturereally is what's allowing us to
continue to push forward andgrow and get through hard times.
And what's happening is thatwe've gotten through so many

(07:27):
hard times together, it makes iteasier.
We just know it's the kind ofthe way it goes.
The stress is never ends.
We get kicked in the teeth inlife all the time.
If it's not at home or it'skids, illnesses, say like my
son's gonna go through, youknow, another surgery.
And I know it's not gonna bebad, the first one was worse,
but you know, it wears on me.

SPEAKER_01 (07:48):
Yeah, it's always it's always another stepping
stone for you to say you gotthrough it.
And even though, like you said,this surgery compared to the
last one, which Shane, it'sstill your son, and you have no
control over what goes on withthat doctor.
You're hoping and praying thatthey go in with the clear head,
everything goes well, but lifehappens.

(08:09):
So, yeah, it's those are oneextra nuggets in your life that
you had to worry about on top ofeverything else.

SPEAKER_00 (08:16):
And I feel like a lot of people live in fear all
the time.
And as life kicks you in theteeth, and the older you get,
you just continue to live moreand more in fear.
Every day, every step you take,you're in fear.
I see it in people's eyes,especially finances, you know.

SPEAKER_01 (08:29):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (08:30):
Um, and I get it.
And I think with Shane, you knowwhat it is, is when we get
older, we have more lifeexperience, and so you hear more
horror stories, you know.
And social media is kind ofexposed so much more in what's
going on in the world.
My father always said it's neverchanged, it's just through
social media, it's like ever youhave the ability to expose it

(08:51):
more, you know.
So I think for me, I just knowthat the Lord really has
control.
I have to let go at some point.
Jesus, take the wheel, you know.
Um, so yeah, I I you knowsomething could happen when
Shane's in surgery, goes under,doesn't come up, you know,
bleeds out.
So there's always something, youknow, but I can't live in fear.

(09:12):
But you still have that littlething on your shoulder that
makes you worry.
Yeah.
And I think that'll neverchange.
But, you know, what am I to do?
Wake up and worry about himdriving to school every day.
Like you kind of have to let go,you know.

SPEAKER_01 (09:23):
Yeah.
Let's let's talk about me andyou the other day were
discussing.
I believe there's a very popularlawyer, and you were sharing the
data on how there's an extra 20%of divorce rate with the
families that are just stickingit out for the kids.
Talk on that a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 (09:43):
Well, I I you know, with the things I've gone
through, this guy kind of popsup, and I really kind of respect
a lot of his insight because hejust has a vantage point that
most people don't see.
You know, going through adivorce and and splitting up
finances is unbelievablyuncomfortable and it sucks and
it's really bad.
And then you see kids get hurt,you know, and so I naturally
follow him because I've justI've lived lived it.

(10:04):
I've experienced kind of a lotof things that he's, you know,
explaining on social media.
Um, you know, he talks aboutheterole sexual marriage.
You know, you have a 56% divorcerate right now.
And then he asked the question,okay, how many people actually
stay together for financesbecause they don't want to, you
know, separate assets or theycan't, you know, separate
because of finances, you know,how many people stay married

(10:26):
because of kids, you know, thattype of stuff.
So how many people are reallymiserable in their relationships
and in their marriage?
And he was saying, I that's justsay another 20%.
So you're at 77, 76, 77% ofpeople are miserable in their
marriage.
And I think it really does haveto go down to if you look at
biblically, you know, peoplewere getting married younger,
you know, but it was just adifferent vibe in regards to

(10:49):
your loyalty.
And when you get married, youdon't get divorced.
It's just manifested and grownover the years of, you know,
this feminine feminism mutemovement and all these things
that have kind of gone on, dude.
Men are just kind of gettingsquashed and destroyed, you
know.
And I I watch women all thetime.
I mean, look, dude, there's somany beautiful women on social
media, but like, why would a guylike me or you want to be with a

(11:11):
girl that's just literallythrowing her body out there?
That many, that many men, likethat, she's losing purity.
So any man that really wants toget married and loves somebody
unconditionally does not wantthat from a woman.
Now, that is clickbait, don'tget me wrong.
I have failed, and I still do.
But it's not there just becausethey they look good does not
mean I'm gonna pursue it.
That's not somebody I want totake home to my family.

(11:32):
Yep, you know, and so at the endof the day, I just I feel like
the world's just kind of gettingworse.
People are having kids later inlife, you know, people aren't
having kids at all.
You know, there's this stigma ofof how bad marriages and
divorces really are arebecoming, and nobody wants to
get married again.
Men are just starting to datesimply because they want peace,

(11:54):
not because of looks anymore.
So there are a lot of data outthere now saying men are dating
because of peace rather thanlooks.
And that is true, especially atmy age and all the shit I have
on my plate.
I'd love to have something kindof in between.
Some girl that's not on socialmedia blowing her body out all
over the place, you know, andsomeone who actually knows how
to stay loyal and and isn'tlooking for validation from the

(12:16):
world.
I'm already putting on the bestenough.

SPEAKER_01 (12:20):
Yeah.
Um this one's gonna be a littlebit more deep, but there's a lot
of clickbait going on on socialmedia with the aspect and
concept of the terms narcissist.
And I want you to kind of tellthe story about you on a plane

(12:42):
and who you sat next to and thedata she shared, and you're not
necessarily targeting anyone,you just you're topping, you're
touching on the topic that yousee a lot right now because the
way the world is going, thedivorce rate, and there is a lot
of narcissists in this world,but I think a lot of people are
misunderstanding because they'regetting and feeding themselves

(13:05):
with the wrong information.

SPEAKER_00 (13:07):
Well, it's kind of funny because I I saw something
else on social media kind ofcaught my attention.
You know, she was saying, sobasically the backstory is that
I was flying home from Miami andI was sitting next to a female
and she was older, she was inher 50s, late 50s, and she has
been a psychologist pretty muchher whole life.
She went to school for to be inpsychology and she dealt with an

(13:28):
extreme amount of trauma.
Like her focus was trauma.
She's traveling around the worlddoing lectures, written books.
And we kind of got on that topicof narcissism and kind of just
the way the world's moving andhow psychology has shifted so
much and all this trauma, andeverything's everyone's got this
pain and all this stuff, right?
And it was really kind of coolbecause the takeaway that I

(13:49):
gained from it was you know, theonly real thing that helps
people really recover is time.
She's like, I've dealt withpeople that have gone through
the worst of the worst frombeing raped and and human
trafficked, and I mean, list it,right?
That you can imagine.
And she said, Ryan, probably themost undiscussed part of the

(14:14):
psychology is, you know, timeheals all wounds.
And that was really kind ofimpressive because, you know,
when you're going throughsomething at the moment, it's
really hard to get through andto kind of see the light at the
end of the tunnel.
So when you are, you know, inthe trenches of this, you know,
middle of let's say a divorce,or you're going through a
breakup, or you have an illness,or you have kids that, you know,

(14:36):
don't want to see you, orwhatever the case may be, the
only real way to get throughthat is really in time and share
and show love and patience andkindness and strength.
And I really like that aboutmost of the conversation.
Now it's a lot more in-depth,but that was really pretty neat.
She did say, you know, a lot ofwomen are, she goes, if you look
at 90% of these women that gothrough divorces or breakups,

(14:57):
they're claiming that theirboyfriends or husbands were
narcissists.
She said 3% of all men arediagnosed with narcissism.
She said it's like 30% womenwith narcissism.
She said the majority of womenare literally turning the books
back on the men, saying that menare the worst, men are the ones
that are um, you know, the worstones in the relationship.

(15:18):
And just paint these pictures ofthese men not being the right
type of guy.
And uh, and it was really kindof ironic because of just the
nature in which the conversationwent.
And I was talking to her aboutlike modalities and, you know,
do people take uh, you know,mushrooms and do all these other
things, you know, that peopleare really seeking that some of
these like more naturalmodalities.

(15:38):
And she said, look, sometimes itworks for people for sure.
She said, but what it's it's notnecessarily the modality that's
helping you, it's the it's thecamaraderie within the rooms of
people that are gatheringtogether.
She said, You have other peoplethat are all kind of
congregating together that havegone through a lot of hard
times.
And so their compassion and lovefor each other is just so high
at that moment because they'reall there for the same reason.
It's like going to church.

(15:59):
You know, they say two or moreare gathered together, you feel
the Holy Spirit more than everbefore.
It's the same concept.
That's why people love going tochurch because it's kind of It's
a community.
Yeah.
And you're you're going throughrecovery when you go to church.
You're recovering from the week,the month, the years, and as you
get older, all the things thatlife has to kick you in the
teeth with, right?
So she was like, she said, somepeople just become so

(16:21):
traumatized as you just look atthe world differently and they
really cannot get outside oftheir own way, and really that's
fine.
But she said the really only wayto get through pain is time and
be around the right people,which is always very difficult.
I'm trying to gauge that as itsown issue, right?
But she said, really beingaround your loved ones and
keeping your circle small andbeing quiet and traveling and

(16:44):
staying busy and allowing thingsto kind of settle out, settle
down, but also have hope.
Have a mission, have a goal.
She said, that's my number onefocus is I once I kind of hear
everybody when they're paying, Igive them homework to do.
I give them something to do, Igive them a mission.
I give them things to read up onand study.

(17:04):
And there's little triggers andlittle messages and little
quotes.
That's why on social media,quotes hit so hard for people.
You're people are healing byscrolling and watching those
quotes.
It's true.
I feel it.
So she's like, that's reallywhat it comes down to.
It's just being able to putpeople in enough room to be able
to speak, get it all out, be ina safe place, and let time go by

(17:24):
of enough of that practice willhelp people heal and move on
from whatever pain and traumathey've had.

SPEAKER_01 (17:30):
Yeah.
What is your take on people andemployees, past employees,
current employees, or friends,family that are givers and
takers?
And what is the difference inyour mind and how do you spot
it?

SPEAKER_00 (17:46):
I think I have a unique vantage point because I'm
ultimately putting a pound offlesh in every relationship that
I come across, whether it's asub giving somebody a chance or
an employee.
You know, I can look at a resumeand let's let's be honest, it's
not worth the paper it's writtenon.
You know, people can show welland sell you and wear a mask for
a while, but that mask will comedown.

(18:08):
I think I think the world'smissing loyalty a lot.
Um, I think the world's becomingmore selfish.
It's all about what you do forthem.
If you look at California law,look how much the employment law
has changed, where it's reallyin favor of the employee over
the employer.
Employee employers are gettingtheir asses handed to them all
the time, legally.
It's just the way the world'smoving, legally,

(18:29):
government-wise.
Um, social media is doing thesame thing.
It's all about me, pictures ofme, selfies, what I look like,
what I got, my, you know, I fallin, I fell into it too.
So I think what I'm realizingmore and more is that that's
standard human nature now.
So I gotta weed it out, right?

(18:50):
I I kind of have that.
I was talking to you about itearlier.
We kind of have a turnover rate.
It's 19 to one.
For every 19 employees I hire,one of them sticks.
I feel like that's like thedivorce rate or even the dating
rate.
You kind of, you know, date 20people before you fend the one
that you really want to end upwith, right?
It's kind of the way it way itgoes.

(19:12):
Um, I think that's the samething when it comes to
employees.
I think it's the same thing whenit comes to friends.
I think it's it's the same thingwhen it comes to other aspects.
Gyms.
I go to gyms all the time.
I'm like, this gym sucks.
Okay, found one.
Yeah, you know.
Um, but I think I think theworld's just becoming more
selfish.
And I think people areforgetting the value and what
it's like to give.

(19:32):
I mean, Tony Robbins said itbest.
He goes, the real value is inwhat you give.
When you are comfortable on whoyou are, you don't necessarily
need people to feed your ego bygiving to you.
What fills you is morefulfilling is by giving to
others.
And it's so true.
You know, and because now as afather and as a husband, you

(19:54):
know, we kind of die on thesword every day to give.
And that's really where ourself-esteem comes from.
We don't need someone to tell usyou're the best, most good
looking guy in the world.
We can hear it once a week oronce a month, and we kind of
re-you know filled back up ourvat our batteries, right?
We're able to recalibrate whensomeone gives us, you know, a
compliment once a month.

(20:14):
But you become more selfless, Ithink, as a man.
I don't think most people, Idon't think a lot of people talk
about that.
How selfless men can really be,especially a married man,
especially someone that had abroken family and brought, you
know, two families together likeyou, you got a stepson as well.
You've taken in and treated himjust like he's yours.
You know, that selflessness isis becoming less and less in the

(20:38):
world, you know.
And I think guys like you arenot being seen anymore.
They're not, they don't, thevalue isn't really where they
should actually value it.
Your appraisal's low.
You know, it's not fair.
Um and when you have somebody inyour life that doesn't really
see your value, and they neverdo until you're gone, it's hard

(21:00):
because you're like, honey, Ihave literally died on the on
the sword for you all day, everyday.
I get I'm the horse.
I get up, I keep running, I keeprunning, I keep running.
And I haven't died yet.
But based on how you treat meand let me rest and give me
peace and let me eat and drink,you know, I will die.
You know, I gotta recalibrate atsome level.
So I think what's happening isis that you know, the world's

(21:21):
missing really where the valueis in human nature.
People are losing the connectionwith others.
It's all about what you get, thematerial shit you have.
There's no real connectionanymore.

SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
With the reconnection of your mom and
where you are at now, howimportant it is for you to
sustain a strong relationshipwith friends, family, and even
if they've either screwed youover in the past, what what
drives you to want to get tothat point to forgive and break

(21:58):
through that even though youdon't know the outcome of what
it can be?
Are they gonna be the same orare they gonna change for the
better?

SPEAKER_00 (22:07):
My father told me that he thinks that the reason
why I'm at where I'm at in mylife is because I don't have a
jealousy gene and I learned howto forgive early.
And I'd have to agree with that.
When I can tell I haven'tforgiven somebody that's done me
wrong, I can feel the energy.
I I wear it, I can tell it'sit's crippling.

(22:27):
The sooner you shed that skin,old skin, normally it's old,
somebody did you wrong, uh, youcan move on pretty quick.
And it's like it is, it's likewhen you shed that skin, you
have new skin.
You know, it's a it's a greatfeeling.
Um I think with everything thatI've been through, man, and and
you know, as you know, one of myemployees sued me for 14 million

(22:48):
bucks, which was so wrongful,and it was hurtful.
And in fact, what's wild is thatI realized how much something
like that could actually reallyaffect your company.
I mean, uh a lawsuit fromCalifornia, an employment
lawsuit, it's um it's gnarly.
What keeps me going is now thismind you this was years ago.
He reached out to me the otherday and apologized and said I

(23:11):
should have never done it, Iwasn't in a good place.
And and I when I answered thephone, I saw him, I was like, I
couldn't believe it was his himcalling me.
And I uh I answered it, I said,okay, we could be friends.
And that was how I answered it.
And I wanted him to know that itdidn't phase me.
I'm here, I'm still going, andI'm going stronger than I've
ever been before.

(23:33):
Just kind of a masculine, hey,man-to-man, dude, like we're
good, but I'm gonna keep my handon your forehead.
What's up?
What do you need?
Sure enough, you neededsomething.
I'm always the guy that everyonecalls.
You wrong me, but yet I've beenapproachable enough to be able
to call me when shit hits thefan.
It's wild how much that'shappened.
In fact, I've been telling I wastelling somebody else this the

(23:55):
other day, you know.
I'll say it this way.
If you were to look at why I'vebeen able to keep my exes, my
divorces, in good standing withmy good relationships, is
because I gave them money.
When you look at when there's aan ugly divorce, an ugly
separation, it's always aboutmoney.

(24:16):
No matter who did who wrong,over time that kind of fades,
but it then it really becomesabout money and lifestyle.
Since I kept the lifestylegoing, I received peace because
I don't care about the fuckingmoney and care less about the
money.
I wanted something deeper andmore purpose.
So if you care about the moneyand you're gonna create a fight

(24:39):
over money, and I'm so willingto let it go, I got the leg up,
dude.
Because I can shed that skin andmove on a whole lot faster when
it's all about money.
I don't need it.
My purpose is the hunt of beinga man, doing what I say I'm
gonna do, feeling good aboutmyself.
It's never been about money,it's about the hunt.

(24:59):
This business, it's about thehunt.
I don't care about the money,the money will follow.
But look at my look at thecamaraderie within the company.
I mean, dude, this like we havethe best journey ever, but it
all starts with how we handleourselves personally, right?
And I think that has beenmassive for me.
I thought about it today, Joe.

(25:20):
I I didn't think about puttingit on a podcast, but I figured,
you know what?
If I can share one thing thathas helped me get through my
divorce somewhat seamlessly, isbecause I was willing to give
them more than they're willingto be awarded, or what they
would be awarded in court.
Take all my stuff, I'll startover.
I've done it before.

(25:41):
I want you out.
If you are gonna be that personthat just wants money, here you
go, see you later.
Because the sooner I hit rockbottom, the faster I bounce
back.
Nobody understands that.
People are missing that.
All the stories that I hear allthe time, these single women and
and men, every woman says thesame thing.
My ex is horrible, he doesn'tsee the kids, doesn't give me

(26:02):
money.
It's all the same.
But what if I sat there andlooked at you and said, Well,
maybe he doesn't want to giveyou money because you don't let
him see the kids?
How vindictive are you?
I've lived it, I know whatthat's like.
I see it, I can smell it now.
I can look into someone's eyesand tell that they don't have
the integrity to do what'sright.

(26:23):
They care more about image andthey care more about money.
And that is really a disgustingpart of human nature because
they're so selfish that they'rewilling to hurt others because
of that.
And what's wild is that's notwhat life's all about.
What's life what life is allabout is giving.
Because at the end of the day,what are you gonna what are you

(26:43):
gonna wish for on your on yourdeathbed?
Time with your family.
You won't care about the money.
That's why so many wealthybillionaires, if they don't have
a family, what do they do withtheir money when they're dying?
They donate it to a cause.
They want it to go to somethingpowerful and impactful, they
want to make a difference.

(27:04):
You know, women with cancer,whatever the foundation is,
that's what happens.

SPEAKER_01 (27:08):
Yep.

SPEAKER_00 (27:09):
And I just don't understand why people are
missing that component.
But to be honest with you, Istop trying to care about why
the world has done that.
And the reason is is because I'mnot that person.
There's more people the otherway than there are like me.
I say it humbly.
But I will say you have to lookin and go, well, how did I get
here?
I think it has to start inpractices, my mind, my

(27:31):
disciplines.
We hear it all the time.
I give a lot.
Yeah, you do.
And and a lot of people takemore than what I'm willing to
give.
Because I give more than whatpeople would ever receive from
anybody else, for the most part.

SPEAKER_01 (27:49):
Yeah, from friends, family, to even your own
business.

SPEAKER_00 (27:55):
But I don't look back.
If someone doesn't if someonedoesn't work out or didn't honor
what I asked them to do, orwhatever the case may be, I I'm
able to walk away with acompletely different feeling
than they will.
They're always gonna be upsetand mad because the well dried
up.
You know?
But let's put it this way Joe,you came from nothing, bro.

(28:17):
Bree came from nothing.
All these people came fromnothing, and they elevated in
the company.
Why?
Not because you had a degree,because you're honest, you
worked hard.
That's why Elon Musk is like, Idon't want to hire people with
degrees anymore.
It's all bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 (28:33):
And who's who's the first and the last one in to the
office?
Who's willing to work on thethings?

SPEAKER_00 (28:38):
It's eight o'clock at night, bro.
You and I are sitting here andwe're still delivering.
We ask people, you need to work.
That's what it takes.
What you say you want something,you say you're in a financial
bind, work.
I can look people in the faceand and say, This is all you
need to do is put in the work,stay active, have hope, have a
mission.
If you put in the hours, itworks.

(29:00):
It's the same thing as you know,startup capital with seed
capital.
Someone comes to you and says,Hey, I have this great idea.
If you have numbers, okay, theseamount of calls, these amount of
leads, this amount, it's justit's it's facts, it's data.
You can remove the emotion andjust put in physical effort and
you can convert into incomestability, security, peace

(29:23):
within your marriage, peacewithin you as a as a father, as
a wife, as a mother, whatever.
I don't understand why people doand it's true.
When you have financialstability, it changes things at
home.
That's why they 2008 financialcrisis, more divorces than ever
before.
It's because divorces happenmore often because of financial
hardship than anything else.

(29:46):
Okay, fine.
It's chest not checkers in thisworld, bro.
I'm not here to live this, I'mhere to try to enjoy my journey.
What I care more about is beingable to deliver when shit hits
the fan.
I'd rather have than not thannot have, or have it, not need
it, and need it, not have it.

SPEAKER_01 (30:01):
Yep.
Right?
The weight of leadership, whatno one tells you about carrying
it all, the silent battlesbehind the scenes when you're
the one everyone leans on, butyou have no one to lean on
yourself.
Now you have me, but I know fora long time you're forty one.
So What do you feel with thattype of statement?

SPEAKER_00 (30:22):
The very first thing that comes to mind was the other
day I was walking in thebackyard on the on that grass
with my bare feet.
And kind of God countryconnection peace kind of came
over me.
I think I've settled in knowingthat I will always feel alone.

(30:43):
It's that concept I always tellyou, I've been doing this for 20
years.
I can reach out and touch thesuccess.
I know it, it's there.
That's almost probably the moreof the brain damage than
anything else, right?
When you have a team and you'relike, guys, do this, try this,
whatever, right?
And the some of the teams notreally performing.
And you're like, gosh, we'reguys, we're right there.
It's like that whole the guywith the axe, and you know, he's
real close to gold and he givesup and turns around.
You're like, if you would havegone a little bit longer, you

(31:05):
would have gotten the gold, youknow.
That's how I feel.
I think that's the brain damagein most of most of the cases for
me.
So when people don't see thattoo with me when you're next to
me, that hurts.
But I've realized that fromleadership, you're going to be
misunderstood.
Um, you're gonna be a villainall the time.

(31:28):
You have to fire people.
It's the worst feeling in theworld.
To be in my shoes and you takepeople in in their wing, the the
mindset is I know that I'm gonnapay you.
If you do what I ask you to do,I know what you're gonna receive
in return.
I hear you, I know what personalbattles you're dealing with at
home.
If you do this, it will befixed.

(31:50):
Not because I'm trying tocontrol you.
I live it, I walk, breathe, andsleep it.
I that's what I've done my wholelife is chase security.
And I've provided security notonly for myself, but for a lot
of other people.
That's the value for me.
But when I bring somebody in andI'm willing to pay them money in

(32:11):
return for them to learn,they're not coming in
necessarily with a background inthis.
That's number one thing to stayfocused on.
Be humble when people come inand go, Well, I want to be a
part of paradigm because I wantto have what you have.
Yeah, but if you don't have ayou don't have a track record,
be a little more humble comingin and know that I'm paying you
to teach you.
You don't have any background init.

(32:31):
I'm rolling the dice more.
And really, if you don't have abackground in private equity,
you don't understand theculture.
The Wall Street waking up in themorning, you're going a million
miles an hour, right?
That like money doesn't sleep.
This is a completely differentgame than being a cop and being
a firefighter or being a nurse.
Like that has its own, you know,nightmares.
Everything has its own culture.

(32:52):
The reality is, is our cultureis never shut down.
If you're going to besuccessful, you don't shut down.
You don't look backwards, youonly move forward.
You have a mission, and by allmeans, you're going to
accomplish that mission.
You have to go in this with thispit bull mindset, man.
If you don't, you're going tofail in private equity in the
capital markets, depending onwhat you're trying to do.

(33:12):
The world's burning every whichway you turn.
The market, politics, interestrates, real estate, whatever.
I mean, crypto, stocks, I mean,dude, everything's burning.
How do people survive?
It's because they're willing,they're nimble, they shift and
they make it happen.
So when you bring people in,you're trying to teach them a
culture.
And if they don't come in andthey don't perform what you've
given them the blueprint tolife, you look at them and go, I

(33:35):
say it with love, but you're sodumb.
Yeah.
Because you, I'm literallygiving you the blueprint, which
everybody wants.
It's like when you go to churchand you're going through a hard
time, what do you turn to?
The Bible.
There's your blueprint.
So you have faith in theblueprint.
You have financial hardship.
You're just, in essence, renderto Caesar, which is Caesar.

(33:56):
You're on this world.
You got to play the cards ofthis world.
Here is the blueprint on how tosurvive and make a living.
You're under my wing now.
Put that bulletproof vest.
You got me, I have your back.
But when I when I say do this,this, this, and this, and you
don't do it, you're really justhurting yourself.
I can move on.
Now, of course, I've invested alot into you, but I could have
invested in somebody else thatwould have actually given me

(34:17):
effort that cares enough.
It's it's the people thathaven't been humbled enough yet.
You have to be so broken thatyou're willing to listen and do
it.
I've been there.
I went to my mentor.
I had$10 in my bank account.
Actually, I think I was likenegative$10 at this point.
My men, I will go to my father.
This is in 2008.
I literally have no money.
I moved back into my father'shouse and I said, Dad, this guy

(34:40):
that has a big$300 millionconstruction fund in Orange
County that funded the first$100million for the Irvine Company
is asking me to come under hiswing.
I want to go meet this guy.
He's got he eliminated all ofhis loan officers.
I can learn so much from thisguy.
I need 20 bucks for fuel.
And he gave me 20 bucks forfuel.

SPEAKER_01 (34:59):
Damn.

SPEAKER_00 (35:00):
And I was so broken, dude.
I mean, broken.
I was working out in thebackyard.
I had out the weights were allrusted iron because it was out
in the rain and they were, gosh,dude, 30 years old.

SPEAKER_01 (35:10):
Is that when Shane was on your chest?

SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
Yeah, doing bench pressing.
Yeah, back in 2010, I was benchpressing three plates.
Yeah.
So that, and look at, dude, doyou see the stands that you can
just fold?
I mean, it was horrible.
You know, I just, I didn't, Imean, it was like this gym to me
is like a gift, you know, andthis is a tiny little 1,000
square foot gym right now.
Um, you I've realized that untilsomeone hits their knees hard

(35:33):
enough, they're never gonna makeit.
My father told me something thatthought was really impactful.
I was at my lowest time at onepoint in my life.
I was really, really low.
And my dad comes to me and hegoes, Do you feel stripped?
Do you feel like you havenothing left?
I said, Dad, I I mean, I have Ican't cry any harder.
I I don't know if I can cryanymore.
I have nothing in me.

(35:53):
I'm so heartbroken.
I can't put food on the tablefor my family.
He looked me dead in the eyesand said, God can't make paint a
masterpiece unless it's on ablank piece of canvas.

SPEAKER_01 (36:02):
Say that again.

SPEAKER_00 (36:03):
My father told me, he goes, God can't paint a
masterpiece unless it's on ablank piece of canvas.
That's why your tattoo artistnever wants to go over someone
else's tattoos.
They want to go over a new pieceof skin.
They want a blank canvas to makeit beautiful.
And that hit home for me.
That changed my entire life.

(36:23):
It's the same thing that ladytalked about when it came to
trauma.
People go around other people,it's certain verses that can
change your life, certainconversations.
I can tell you right now, I'vesat in bars and met certain
people that have said certainthings to me that stuck with me
for the rest of my life, changedmy entire direction of my
career, how I handled certainthings, who I use, what
attorneys I use.

(36:43):
I mean, I've I've had so manyconversations with so many
people that's changed my entirelife.
It does the same thing inhealing.
And that was probably the mostpowerful moment, realizing if I
hit the bottom, that's when Iget to start over.

SPEAKER_01 (37:00):
Blink canvas.

SPEAKER_00 (37:01):
And there's sometimes there's nothing better
than knowing you get to startover.
If you can hit the rewind startover button in your life, how
many times would you have donethat?
Now, separate from your kids andyour wife, right?
But what I'm saying is so manydecisions that we've all made
that if we wish we could havestarted over, we would.

SPEAKER_01 (37:19):
But I almost, with me reading more, I look at the
other side of the fence on that.
On we wouldn't be the people weare today.
Because if we just rewind it andstart it over, now it's it's
another thing to be like, hey,let's go.

SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Well, I want to keep the knowledge, I don't want to
forget.

SPEAKER_01 (37:37):
Yeah, exactly.
But in reality, you know, it'salmost like time is everything.
So the more time we spend withour failures, our trauma, and
being able to continueeducation, what we went through
to then break through thosebarriers.
And then going into being afather, a mother, you can then

(38:01):
pass that generation ofknowledge to your kids to help
them mitigate their future.

SPEAKER_00 (38:06):
Yeah.
You know, I it's kind of wildbecause my ex-wife does a lot of
healing, right?
She has a lot of modalities andkind of deals with Reiki and so
forth.
And there's a lot of thosethings that I actually believe
in, I think works for a lot ofpeople.
It never really worked for me.
Breath work I loved.
Um, but what I realized aboutbreath work is it really does
put me in kind of a state of nothaving my phone on me and it's a

(38:26):
little more quiet.
I'm kind of focusing onsomething else rather than my
mind.
That's what breath work, thatpowerful, how powerful breath
work is.
And there's other things to it,but it was funny.
This lady asked me the otherday, she goes, What do you do to
find peace and heal?
And I said, I'm quiet.
How many times do you just turnoff the radio in your car when

(38:49):
you're making a long drive andjust all of a sudden you realize
I'm not listening to anythingbecause your mind's running.
It's really hard, you know,going to bed every night being
alone.
Um I watch a lot of the news,which is probably not good.
Um But I I know it's okay tofeel alone.

(39:09):
Because I've been sometimesthere was I felt more alone with
somebody next to me than I everdid right now.
Sometimes you feel more alonewhen you have someone next to
you than when you are actuallyphysically alone.

SPEAKER_01 (39:21):
Fatherhood and forgiveness, healing the wounds
our fathers left behind frombreaking generational cycles and
becoming the man your kids need,even if you never had the
example yourself.

SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
Well, that's a big one, man, because my father
raised me.
Right?
My mom left when I was sixmonths old.
There's two sides to that story.
I hear a different one from her.
That's just maybe one that I'vebeen telling myself forever, but
um, all I know is that my momwasn't there from six months for
the most part on.
And as my dad was an LA CountySheriff, had a very heavy hand.

(39:59):
I mean, think about what thisguy's dealing with, right?
I mean, he goes to he goes towork every day being hated by
everybody and seeing satanicstuff.
I went on a lot of ride-alongs.
Uh, it's bad.
I didn't want to be a cop afterI've been on, you know, 30
ride-alongs.
I'm like, I don't know if Icould deal with the mental of
this kids being raped andpeople's arms getting cut off,
and I watched a guy shoothimself in the head and kill

(40:19):
himself.
I mean, that's all they eat,breathe, and sleep this stuff,
and they go home and have dinnerand like as if nothing happens.
I mean, that's gotta wear onyou.
So there's times that he'llsnap, and I know why he's
snapping.
And, you know, he had a reallyheavy hand.
Um, for a long time, I gave myfather a lot of grace.
I'm not a man, mean kid.
I've never was a mean kid.
I never hated anybody.

(40:40):
I just don't have that in me.
I have a I have a real longthreshold for in a lot of
patience.
It's weird.
I shouldn't, but I I have.
Um, and I just kind of had thisfaith that my dad was always
trying to do what's best for himand for me.
And I believed it because I didspend a lot of time with him
growing up.
And I saw his kindness and I sawhis softness too.
Because he had to play mom anddad.

(41:01):
He had to cook for me, he had tobe there for me and take me to
school, pick me up, take me todaycare.
He fought.
I mean, I I even in high school,I'd look back and I'd go, man,
he really tried.
My it was just like Shane now.
My son knows how much Isacrifice and he gives me so
much grace because I'm not thereall the time.
Um, and my I think I have abetter relationship with my son
than most parents with theirkids as teenagers, especially

(41:22):
boys.
My as a dad, I'm real close withhim.
And he honors me.
I mean, his 16th birthday, hecomes to me and says, Dad, I
want a tattoo.
And I'm sitting there going,Absolutely not, even though I'm
all sleeved up.
When you're 18, you can get it,right?
He goes, Well, what I want isthe same garland tattoo you had
on your back for your firsttime.
Identical print, identical size.

(41:46):
What an honor.
Okay, buddy, let's go.
So I went and let him get histattoo.
Um that is a connection that Iprobably wouldn't be able to
build if I didn't have theexperiences that I had with my
father and learn how to forgivehim.
And I had forgiven my fatherprobably when I turned about 30.

(42:07):
I really started going through ahard time as a father trying to
raise his family and beingmarried.
And then I think I just settledinto seeing what my dad had to
really go through.
I was starting to get kicked inthe teeth quite a bit.
And um, and then my dad got hit,broke his back, got airlifted.
There's a couple other times inhis career where he didn't know

(42:27):
if he would make it home, and Igot phone calls from the
station, you know, that type ofstuff.
And um you kind of go throughthat, like, well, if he didn't
come home, you know, how muchdid you miss him?
I I went through a lot of thoseemotions too.
So I could be completely mad athim, but when you get a phone
call that your dad may be dead,all of that maybe anger that I

(42:51):
had was out the door immediatelybecause now I feel like I'm I
lost my father.
So when you see someone takeliterally shots and how much my
father had to go through to putfood on the table, and then I
may literally experience it nowas an older man that has to
fight every day to put food onthe table.

(43:12):
You do nothing but forgive andrespect because you realize
you're not perfect, you break,the world beats you up, and you
fail all the time.
You go home and you yell at yourkids, you have a short fuse, you
don't give your wife what sheneeds.
Like you fail every which wayfrom Sunday.
And so as I got older, I startedloving my father more and more

(43:34):
and giving him more grace.
My relationship with my fathernow is priceless.
I I get tears in my eyes.
I I had some other buddy of minetell me his father passed away,
and I like immediately felt theemotion of what would happen to
me if my father died.
Dude, that's gonna be a roughday for me.
Really rough day for Shane, too,because him and Shane are very
close.
But um, you know, you have tolearn to forgive, man.

(43:56):
And and when you do, sometimesthe other being on the other
side of the fence, the peoplethat did you wrong, it's worse
to be on that side of the fencethan it is on our side.
I tell people that all the time.
Don't underestimate how howhurtful it was for somebody else
to have hurt you.
If they have a good heart, theyprobably are hurting more inside
than you are for being wrong,being wronged by them.

SPEAKER_01 (44:18):
Love versus control.
The real difference betweenleading and manipulating,
learning to lead inrelationships and business
without ego, fear, or dominance.

SPEAKER_00 (44:31):
You know, I have agape, God's love tattooed on my
arm, right?
And that's why I have my twosons.
So agape, God's love, Shane, myoldest son, and my youngest son.
And uh when you start it, youreally get to understand God's
love and study love for what itis.
You know, first Corinthians,it's listed everywhere.
Love is patient, love is kind,right?
The the standard stuff.
There isn't there is so muchpower in that word love.

(44:55):
And it is the most powerfulemotion we'll ever have.
And I think people, again, beingso selfish, they think they love
you, but it's because of whatyou've given them and the way
you make them feel.
Love is selfless, and you haveto have patience.

(45:19):
You have to remember thateverybody's gonna let you down
at some point, your spouse, yourbest friends, I've let you down.
I mean, it's just the way itgoes.
You can't be perfect all thetime.
What overcomes that is trust andlove, you know, believing in
their heart, but without havingthat exposure and being real at
times, massed down andestablishing that relationship

(45:40):
of trust.
Then when someone has aninfraction, you you really only
can forgive through love.
That's what forgiveness reallyis, is love.
Peace.
You've come up with peace,regardless of how they made you
feel, you let it go, and nowyou're gonna forgive them.
In essence, you're freeing them,so then they may not be able to

(46:02):
have to carry that conviction.
You are doing a service to themby letting it go.
That's love.
And I don't think peopleunderstand that as much anymore.
And that's what I love aboutbeing in my position because I
get to love a lot of people.
I read a lot of people in, I seetheir hearts, I see what they

(46:23):
want.
They come into my life, whetherit's an employee or a friend,
and I always deliver results.
That's why my old employeecalled me with all the hardship
we went through and goes, Man,I'm sorry.
You really brought me into thisworld.
I have text messages from it.
And he's like, I'm putting foodon the table because of my
family.
And I'm like, I'm sorry I washard on you.
But that's what it takessometimes.

(46:44):
Tough love.
Everyone re everyone calibratesdifferently, everybody reacts to
certain different things.
And um I think the differencebetween love and control is
really what you give rather thanwhat you receive.
If you know you're giving morethan what you're receiving,

(47:07):
you're on the right track.
Sometimes that's anuncomfortable feeling.
But as a husband, you're gonnaknow that's how it goes.
You're gonna accept the factthat you have to die on the
sword and you're gonna have togive more than what she gives
you.
That's why it says in scripturea woman needs to respect you,
not love you like Christ lovesthe church, the unconditional
love for your wife.

(47:28):
It's two different worlds.
She's supposed to treat you aspecific way that gives you the
power to keep moving forward.
You are fighting the world.
You got bullets, and you know,you're dodging the world.
You come home and you're stilldodging.
For her to cast stones at youand judge you for breaking at
times is really unfair.
Because she has no idea whatyou're going through every day

(47:51):
out on the streets.
You come home to your kingdom,that's your safe place.
If she's not providing love andpeace and kindness and
sweetness, dude, like it's it'sgoing to fail.
I've lived it.
So love is about deliveringvalue to other people, not
trying to receive so much.
And when you feel like you'regiving more love than receiving,

(48:11):
you're actually on the righttrack.
That's what you're supposed todo.
That makes you humble, thatkeeps you going.
It means that you have theconfidence that you're doing it
right.
And it allows you to want tokeep chasing that conviction of
doing things right.
Because when you create amomentum of doing things right,

(48:34):
you're probably going tocontinue that momentum.
So if you become, if that's yourheart and who you are, and you
strive to do things right andyou care about loving others and
you want people to see you thatway, like genuinely want people
to love you back because of howyou treat others, like, and
you're chasing that connectionwith people and that reputation.
There's nothing better in theworld than to have a reputation

(48:56):
that says, you're an amazingman, you're a good father, you
have a huge heart, and you giveto people.
That is real currency that willallow you to keep going because
you're on the right track ofbeing a father, being a husband.
There, you just by those wordsalone, Joe, you could literally,
you're out here driving yourcar, leaving at five in the
morning, dealing with all thestress that we're dealing with.

(49:17):
But one person can look in youreyes and say, You're a good
husband, you're a good father,you everybody loves you, you've
done so much for other people,and you have that reputation.
That allows you to keep going.
30 seconds allows you to keepgoing for a year.
Fills your cup.
Dude, where the fuck is thatanymore in the world?

(49:41):
But people don't understand.
That's how simple men are.
That's how simple it is for aman to feel loved and
appreciated.
And I will tell you what a manstays where there's peace.
It's not about looks.
If a man feels like he'sreceiving peace and someone
loves him unconditionally, he'sloyalty is higher.
That's why they say gaymarriages when a man, man to

(50:02):
man, the divorce rate's like25%.
Woman to woman is like 76%.
Heterosexual, 56%.
It's crazy.
Men naturally are more loyal.
Men naturally thrive inbrotherhood and in having a
village.
Because they're not necessarilyas prideful.
You have a job, I have a job.

(50:22):
That's why you go out and yousee the military.
That's your job, you do that.
You have that job, you do that.
It's easier for that.
It's not emotional.

SPEAKER_01 (50:28):
The mirror tests, basing the version of you that
you don't post online,confronting your insecurities,
pride, and pain behind thepersona.
As far as you being, I don'tconsider you as an influencer by
any means, but the power ofsocial media, you have been able

(50:50):
to build a brand that people cantrust in you.
And I think doing stuff likethis is allowing you to not
expose yourself, but again,we've talked about this in the
past, bringing the mask down.
So how do you break through thatknowing one post, just like the
elections, one shift in themarket from you know, a tweet

(51:14):
from Elon or Trump could changeeverything?
How do you face that and viewthat with the way you run your
business, but also how to stillkeep that fine line of building
that trust and transparency withyour followers and potential
investors?

SPEAKER_00 (51:31):
You know, I think I have a different connection with
my clients because, and I don'treally let the world see that
much of really how soft I am,because I tell people this all
the time.
What kind of, if if I'm managingyour money, what kind of manager
do you want?
Do you want a little suit andtie guy, or do you want a pit
bull to protect your money?

(51:51):
Because the question is, is howmuch do you believe the world's
burning right now?
And every client and investorhas fought tooth and nail to
build the wealth that they haveand they can't afford to lose
it.
So what they see in me is thiskind of pit bull that has
knowledge.
I'm in the middle of my career,20 years of experience, got a
track record, like it allmatches because they all
remember, because most of myinvestors are boomers, what it's

(52:13):
like to be my age.
Some of them have kids my ageand go, my son is cranking.
He's destroying it right now.
So, you know, there's a lot ofthose conversations happening.
But when you have conversationswith your clients, and what I
tell people all the time thatare trying to do what we do is
your connection with yourclients has to be full
transparency because whatthey're gonna do is undress in
front of you.
I've done mortgages forever,I've seen people's finances,

(52:36):
which is the most uncomfortablefeeling for people to get into.
You had to learn how to becomeuh how to be able to make people
feel comfortable to undress infront of you.
It's like being a doctor.
When you're in front of yourdoctor, do you care so much
about being undressed?
Probably not.
But if it's someone that's not adoctor, it's a it's a it's a
chiropractor, and you they askyou to get naked, you're gonna
be like, why?

SPEAKER_01 (52:57):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (52:57):
Okay.
So you become the doctor.
And the only way to help peoplenavigate life and retirement is
to be the doctor.
I can't diagnose if you don'ttell me what's going on.
So when you go into arelationship building, typically
to get someone's walls to comedown, you have to let yours down
first.

(53:19):
And the connection between myclients isn't because they're
making an investment into aspecific deal that they love and
they like, which has got a got apencil too.
But it's me.
It's the the vision, myknowledge, the way I see the
world, my beliefs, me as afather, me as a husband.
That's why I'm so open aboutlistening to certain things on
social media, whether it's rapor country, and I go up and

(53:39):
down.
No one cares.
No one cares.
Everyone sees me as just anormal dude, which is what I
want.
I I'm just a blade of grass.
I just have a different way ofdoing business, and that's
really the only thing that stoodme out.
I answered the phone after fiveo'clock.
I tell people all the time,you're not successful because
you don't answer the phone afterfive.
Like it's can be that simple,right?
Sorry, what was the question?
Where did we go again?

SPEAKER_01 (53:58):
It was just in regards to how being able to
bring the mask down in a way andlook the mirror test facing the
version of you and some peopledon't post their failures or
their struggles or their demons.
I think you've recently beenable to open up and express

(54:19):
more.
You've gotten data can show yourfeedback from your stories of
you doing bigger write-ups.
So this isn't necessarily sayingyou're not doing it, it's
sharing you being more open andhonest about what's really going
on in your life.

SPEAKER_00 (54:33):
It's wild because what I learned when I did my
documentary on me reconnectingwith my mom, when I posted that
on Facebook back in the daybefore Instagram, it went viral.
I had literally hundreds ofmessages that I had to scroll
through.
And I loved that type of impact.
The messages were because Ireconnected with my mom and I
documented the whole thing.
Um, I mean, following, no, I hada videographer follow me to pick

(54:55):
her up at the airport, right?
I mean, I I was so nervous, andwe had that on camera, me
talking about how nervous I wasto see her, and you know, she
hasn't met my kids and you know,my or my wife, and all these
things, a lot of emotions.
And so I I didn't know I thatwasn't that was mask off on the
on that, you know.
And what I realized is how muchthat helps others.
And the messages I was gettingfrom, you know, I need to

(55:17):
connect with my mom or mybrother or my father, and the
stories I was getting, man, Ijust realized that there were so
many people out there hurting inthe same situation, which made
me feel good that I'm not alone.
But I think again, that feelingof giving back, when you give,
that's where the fruit is.
That's the currency.
So I've had enough experiencesby being able to be comfortable

(55:39):
with letting myself kind ofexpose to the world who I really
am or certain things in my life.
And the feedback I've gotten hasonly given me more fuel to want
to keep going.
And the more I'm honest aboutthings that go on in my life,
the more people trust me.
No matter how bad it is.
Even when I say I made themistake, I think what it is is

(56:02):
people are going, no one doesthat anymore.
Everyone's hiding behind thesmiles and the cars and all the
material shit on social media.
It's all every think aboutsocial media, it's always about
the good things you are postingabout your life.
It's not about what's reallygoing on.
Really, some people getcomfortable and are doing it,
but not that much.
Really, social media is about abragging, it's all about

(56:23):
bragging.
It's what that is.
Yep.
So I'm gonna change it up.
I'm doing things differentlynow.
Right?
I'm looking at how we do ourbusiness.
We we're paradigm, we'reunorthodox, we shift, and that's
runs through my veins.
So the more I do thingsdifferently, the more I stand
out.
If I'm trying to build awarenessof who I am and build trust with

(56:44):
people, it starts with lettingyour mask down.
So that same point, you know,with building relationships with
people, sometimes to get theirwalls to come down, you have to
let yours down too.
I can let my wall down on a30-second, one-minute post and
create hundreds and thousands ofconnections.
It's powerful.
And how many people do I help?

(57:05):
The amount of messages I got theother day was impressive.
It's only giving me more fuel towant to keep going.
But I wanted to talk onsomething I thought you'd
probably really appreciate.
Because you asked me this in thepast about the mirror.
And you know they say whenyou're married, the best mirror
is your spouse.
I've always had that one thingtoo stuck in my head, two ears,

(57:26):
one mouth.
God gave you two ears for areason.
I've also have I try to play thereal husband card, you know,
give, give, give, and you know,don't ask for much, and you're
here to support and love, andkind of just have unconditional
love and not allow your emotionsto get involved in a lot of
things.
And so I've been pretty strongfor a long time.
And, you know, my ex-wife has alot of pain.

(57:49):
And it obviously all prior tome.
You know, there's more pain nowbecause of me, but it it was all
prior to me.
And she was in so much pain thatshe was the only person I've
ever come across in my life thatI couldn't fix by just words.
I'm great in scripture.

(58:10):
I've done tons of Bible studies.
I told you I used to teach atHarvest.
I've done so much.
No matter how much I go toscripture, how much I pray for
her or over her, it she just wasunable.
She needed to really do it onher own.
She had to figure it out.
There, I could only give her thefinancial stability and runway,
and she had to do it on her own.
When you get to know her, she'sas you know, she's just kind of

(58:31):
stubborn, very similar to me.
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
But sometimes people just haveto figure things out on their
own.
But I want you to think of thiswhen was the last time you cried
and looked in the mirror?
You cry a lot.
When when you cry, someironically, sometimes you're in
front of the mirror.
Or what do you do after you'redone crying?
You look in the mirror.

(58:52):
And I'm the only one looking ather while she's in the mirror,
when she's not in the mirror.
And I saw the hardest thing I'veever done, Joe, is stick there
day in and day out with a womanthat I love that is in so much
pain that I cannot fix.

(59:13):
It broke me too, man.
I tried.
And I think that's love.
And I have no regrets.
It makes me feel good I wasthere.
She didn't have to worry aboutanything.
Finances, she got to be able toreally just deal with it.

SPEAKER_01 (59:34):
Yeah, and I I think for you being able to articulate
that now and voice it, and Ithink over even the past few
months, when you talk about it,you've never once shunned her,
andor your previous ex-wife.
And it's because you're willingto accept everything you did,

(59:59):
you did right, you did wrong,and it allows you to move
forward.
But I think you're right, yougot the nail on the head because
even with the people with insidethe company, you take it to
heart when you can't fixsomeone, when they're not
willing to pick up the phoneafter five, they're not willing
to work on weekend.

(01:00:21):
And you do take it to heart.
And it's really at the end ofthe day, it's because you care
about that individual and youhave a big heart, literally and
physically, you have a largeheart.
And it allows others, especiallywhen you share it with
investors.
I see it firsthand when you knowme being in meetings and you

(01:00:43):
doing site visits with people,you're you're expressing your
true self.
You want to help them grow theirwealth, and you'll do whatever
it takes because not only do youbelieve in yourself, you believe
in them and all their hard workthat they've been able to
accomplish for their self, theirfamily, building the

(01:01:04):
generational wealth.
And so when you know someonedoesn't take that serious or it
doesn't work out, it does affectyou because you bleed this every
day.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:14):
Well, it's called sympathy and compassion.
That's why I continue to feellike I get kicked in the T all
the time is because without thatsympathy and compassion and
being humbled and kind of havinglife experience, I probably
won't be able to deliver goodresults.
I get there's got to be a reasonto continue to fight.
If you're doing it for others,it's easier to keep going.
If you're doing it for yourself,a lot of people think about how

(01:01:35):
think about how many people justdon't care about working out.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:37):
Yep.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:38):
You know, they or or the only reason they're working
out is because of their familyand their kids.
If you get older and you havehealth issues, you need a reason
to keep going.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:45):
Yep.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:46):
And this it is the same thing within inside the
company.
It's I see someone broken, Ihear what the problem is, and I
have the answer.
And I speak it and I show you.
And I'm a walking example ofwhat it will take to get what
you're trying to accomplish.

(01:02:06):
And I give you the yellow brickroad.
And if you do not, you know,horse and water, man.
Here's the water, I can take youto it, but you got to drink it.
Yep.
And people just continue to bein their own way.
I am too.
I mean, I'm not perfect by anymeans.
But you're right, I do take itpersonal.
When I, and that's the point,you know, when I see somebody

(01:02:27):
that you love and care for, youliterally care about their
hardship.
You learn what is wrong and whatthe problem is, and you listen
and you then you try toimplement things to help them.
That's what you do.
That's love.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:38):
Yep.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:39):
So if I'm if I really am filled with love and I
take my employees to heart and Ihear what they, and then when
they, you know, things don'twork out, sometimes I'm the bad
guy.
It's because I was on I wasteaching them how to get there.
They know they had theconviction in their heart, they
were on the way.
They had it.
It was there, they could reachit, you, but you didn't listen.
And I can only put up with itfor so long.

(01:03:01):
I don't care who you are.
That's how it works.
You can only help people for solong if they're not willing to
help themselves.
And if it has a direct impact,now you're now you're adding the
component to business.
Like if you're not performing,now we're not generating income
off your department.
Like, we got to shift.
Like it's just business.
So it's really hard to managethat.
But it is in many ways the sameway in a in a personal
relationship.

(01:03:21):
It's like I'm not really gettingvalue out of this.
I'm the one delivering value.
You have to get to a point whereyou're like, I you are literally
sucking the energy out of me.
Like, I don't have, I cannothelp you fight when I already
got my own fights.
Yep.
Well, Joe, always, brother, Ireally appreciate you know you
doing that to me.
I kind of had some tears in myeyes throughout the night and um
very humbling, and I reallyappreciate that.

(01:03:42):
You know, I I I hope that ourlisteners um take away that, you
know, it's okay to go through alot of hardship, but you have to
have hope.
You have to.
And if you can, typically thingswill be okay.
And forgiveness is verypowerful.
You will win in life if you canforgive and you have hope.

(01:04:02):
It's just those two things.
So thank you guys all forlistening.
I really do love y'all.
I've gotten a lot of really goodfeedback.
That's why we're kind of goinginto some of the emotional side.
So, uh, if you guys needanything, you know where to
reach us.
Joe, thank you, buddy.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:15):
Thank you.
On to the next.