From Reebok Boardrooms To Unlocking himself: A Dad’s Awakening - Chad Wittman

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Without Threase Baker, today's episode would never have happened....Thank you!!!!

What happens when the person who commands rooms across continents can’t get a 10-year-old to go to bed? We sit down with a former Reebok and Adidas executive who built categories, led massive teams in Asia, and then walked into the hardest leadership arena of his life: his own home. Stripped of titles and certainty in 2020, he discovered how much of his identity depended on work—and how little that meant to his five kids. The result is a raw, hopeful story about presence, humility, and rebuilding trust one small moment at a time.

We trace his early years—divorced parents, boarding school, ice hockey and lacrosse as a lifeline—and the unlikely break that took him from door-to-door telecom to designing gear, flying solo to China, and launching Reebok Lacrosse. Then comes the undoing: burnout, a marriage in pain, and a “seeing” that shattered his autopilot. He describes mystical flashes of clarity where he could feel the depth of his children’s inner lives and the ache they carried for one simple thing: Dad, do you see me? That question becomes the compass for everything that follows.

This conversation is heavy on practicals and light on buzzwords. We break down a kid-led morning system built on Montessori principles that turned chaos into calm. We talk about divorce with uncommon generosity, including the choice to keep a nesting home so the kids stay rooted while parents rotate. We replace guilt with growth, framing hard seasons as nature’s pruning—painful, purposeful, and profoundly fertile. And we share simple tests you can run today: a 60-second pause when interrupted, capability charts instead of nagging, a nightly “what did you need from me?” check-in, and one wise friend who can tell you the truth.

He now runs Activat8, helping people uncover identity rather than chase another plan. The thesis is bold and freeing: when you know who you are without roles, your presence becomes the safest place in the house. If you’ve ever wondered how to move from performance to connection, or how to lead a family without a title, this one will meet you where you are and nudge you forward.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a dad who needs it, and leave a quick review. Your support helps more families find conversations that actually change how we show up.

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Website: https://activ8myidentity.com/

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_02 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder.
And this is my dad's job.
Hey everybody, it's Casey J Coxwith the Quarterback Dadcast.
Welcome to season six, and Icannot be more excited to have
you join me for another year offantastic episodes of
Conversations with unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:24):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them, and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax, andlisten to today's episode of
Quarterback Deckcast.

(00:46):
Everybody, it's Casey Jacobswith the Quarterback Deckcast.
We are in season six gettingtowards the tail end.
And this next gentleman, it'staken a while.
I think just uh the multipleagents, the secret service, the
uh the bodyguards to go through,but but luckily everybody can't
see.
But I have really a trulyfantastic ammo or mustache that

(01:06):
that not Whitman, but Vietmann,the age of silent.
I learned that the hard way.
Um he he's gonna join us today,everybody.
And the only reason he's here isbecause of the talented and nice
Trace Baker, who I met lastyear's American Stafford
Association staffing board.
She said, I have a fantastic dadof person for you to connect
with.
And we connected a year ago-ish.
Um, but sometimes timing's notalways right, but it's right

(01:29):
now, and we're excited to learnabout Chad the Dad, who was a
former Reebok and Adidasexecutive with stories of travel
and ups and downs.
Um, but now he's the founder ofActivate, which is providing
just some really, really amazingcoaching services.
Um, but with all that said,that's not what we're gonna have
Chad on today.
We're gonna have Chad on todayto talk about Chad the Dad and

(01:51):
how he's working hard to becomethat ultimate quarterback or
leader of his household.
So without further ado, Mr.
Beatman, welcome to thequarterback dad cast.
And thank you, Casey.
Pleasure to be here.
And that handlebar is amazing.
Well, thank you.
And uh everybody at home, Iapologize that we're not in
video anymore, at least for now.
Never say never.
But um, if you truly do want apicture of this stash, send me

(02:14):
an email or find me on LinkedInand I will take a picture and
send it to you.
Proof handlebar does exist.
Um all right.
Well, we always start out eachepisode with gratitude.
So tell me, what are you mostgrateful for as a dad today?

SPEAKER_04 (02:27):
Oh, easy.
I know my kids, and my kids knowme.
And that was not always thecase.
So I'm so grateful to to knowthem and for them to know me.

SPEAKER_02 (02:38):
So my curiosity is already gone without because I
gotta go into my gratitude, buttell me what that means.

SPEAKER_04 (02:46):
Well, I found that um many of us, certainly I I
mean, I have five kids, and Iwas so disconnected from who
they really were at the corethat I did I thought I knew
them, but it took a you know apretty intense circumstance for

(03:09):
me to uncover the fact that Idid not.
In fact, I didn't know myself,and so I realized I didn't know
myself, and then I reallyrealized I did not know my
children at the core of who theyreally are.
And I got the chance to knowthem.
I got the chance to be thrust inas a full-time dad and learn

(03:30):
about who they really are at thecore, who they are from their
heart, how they were reallydesigned, what they're really
thinking, what they really wantto do with their lives.
And um, I call this the abilityto see somebody, which I didn't
have for the majority of my lifebecause I closed my heart off

(03:50):
unknowingly.
And I think many men especiallydo this.
And what we do with that is weactually don't realize we blind
ourselves.
And when I say blind, I'm notsure how many people can
resonate with this, but there isa seeing that can come with an
unveiling of your heart that allof a sudden you can actually see
the other person inside, notwhat you see on the outside, not

(04:14):
the words, not the actions, butyou can see what they're really
feeling, what they're reallysaying.
And I got a chance to see mykids, and uh I still get to.
And that changed me forever.
It was the first time I actuallyever saw any human being ever,
was when I saw my children forthe first time.
And it brought me to my itbrought me to my knees in tears

(04:36):
as I saw what they reallydesired from me.
And I saw the pain I was causingthem from my heart being closed.

SPEAKER_02 (04:46):
Wow, man, we are we are off to start the podcast.
I love this.
Well, I'm gonna, we're gonna,we're gonna dive into that.
And um, I love I love whatyou've shared so far, Chad.
Um, I'd say what I'm mostgrateful for today is is
something uh so small, but so umso much joy brings me each and
every day.

(05:06):
And so my son left for college.
Uh he was home, he's he's beengone for a month, came home for
a couple days.
I've been lucky to see him.
He plays golf in college, soI've been like making it a
priority to go to every event Ican.
I'm not gonna miss that becauseI know I won't regret it in 10
years.
And he was home, he flew backyesterday.
It's a short hour flight.
I'm gonna fly down Sunday andthen go watch him play Monday,
Tuesday next week.

(05:27):
But uh I always told him thatwhen when his sister Riley, we
call, they call, I call themboth our dog, they call me C
Dog.
I have no idea why we're not ina gang, we just do it.
And uh and so our dog Harley,who's a golden tree or Irish
setter, I said, Hey, Harley,let's go say goodbye to our dog.
And so she loves it's like Rileywill back out of the car, and so
Ryder actually got to see thistip before he went to college

(05:48):
because he's heard me talk aboutit.
He's like, What in the hell?
He's recording, and um so I sitdown on the steps in the garage
as the car's backing out of thegarage, and Harley sprints over,
and she literally almost sits ontop me, and she's snugging up to
me, and then she just she putsher paw up and allows me to grab
her like bottom by her elbow andkind of like wave like this.
Yeah, yeah.

(06:08):
And it's the cutest freakingthing, and she like it's her
habit now.
She she knows that when I sayit's good back, she sprints to
the door and just can't wait togo.
Oh, that's amazing.
It's yeah, so it's like I mean,I get my heart gets I get
goosebumps telling the story.
It's like I'll I'll rememberthat stuff for the rest of my
life, you know, and as silly asit is, whatever, but it like but

(06:29):
it brings a smile on her face,and you know, hearing seeing
Ryder, my son videotape it onSnapchat and send to his
girlfriend and like oh my god,look at our dog.
And so I don't know.
I'm just grateful for that, likebeing that beautiful present and
grounded in where I am at theripe old age of almost 50.

SPEAKER_04 (06:43):
But um, thank you by the way.
I I call my brother B Dog and hecalls me C Dog.
Hey, we got two C Dogs on thepodcast.
Let's go.

SPEAKER_02 (06:53):
Yeah, sweet.
Tracy, what you're doing?
You're hooking up sea dogstogether.
Let's go.
Crazy.
Crazy.
Okay, we got so we got five fivekids on the squad.
This is where I like to goinside the huddle.
You're you're now playingquarterback.
Um uh so bring me inside thehuddle.
What does it what does it looklike in terms of like a day in
the life?
Um, and maybe what what eachmember of the team's up to right

(07:16):
now?

SPEAKER_04 (07:17):
Sure, sure.
Uh well, they're active, so eachday is is full of activity.
But um I've got a 15-year-old, a14-year-old, 12-year-old,
10-year-old, and anine-year-old.
So we did a lot of kids prettyfast and in three countries.
Um, and now obviously we're allin the states.

(07:39):
But um a day in the life lookslike, first of all, um an
important note is um I'm goingthrough a divorce, and so we are
rotating.
So a day in the life right nowlooks like we we decided to have
a nesting house for the kids.
So the kids have stability.
They are they're always in thesame house, and we rotate in and

(08:02):
out every other week.
Um, and I grew up uh withdivorced parents in two separate
homes, and we were the onesgoing back and forth.
So this was a big learning forme when I found myself in this
situation.
We were able to align, like,let's keep stability for the
kids, which means it's only oneof us at a time, which makes it

(08:22):
a lot more interesting with fivechildren.
But I had the I had the benefitof having a lot of years uh in
where unfortunately my wife wasill, but it forced me to do a
lot of single parenting duringthat time as she was ill.
Uh and so I know it, I know whatI'm doing now.
Had I not had that training andbeen in this situation, I think

(08:42):
I'd be in big trouble.
So the uh the wake-up routine istypically around 6:30, and we
all they all five go to aMontessori school, so it goes
all the way through high school.
So the cool thing is we get toall go to one place, which is
rare these days, especially withfive kids.
And um kids pack their ownlunches.

(09:04):
Something I learned.
Montessori, Montessorimethodology teaches you a lot
about parenting.
And one of the things I learnedearly on was how to coach and
guide my children into learninghow to do the things that they
needed to do.
And actually, one of thegreatest lessons I had was how

(09:28):
much more capable our kids arethan we think they are, and at
young ages.
Montessori has this chart thatthey share with you about each
age and what the kids should beable to do.
And I'll never forget when wefirst got it, because literally
there was like almost nothing onthere that our kids could do.
Um I was I was horrified.
What of what am I doing here?

(09:50):
Um, and I slowly went to work,and and a lot of it when you're
younger, you use charts.
So I made visual charts to helpthem guide them through their
morning routine so they can goso they don't keep coming.
Dad, dad, dad, right?
So you have a chart, you pointto the chart, check the chart,
what haven't you done on thechart?
And they follow their routinethrough the chart.
So the point is the kids arepretty self-sufficient, which is

(10:13):
awesome.
Um, and so we go about ourmorning routine, and I normally
will make a sandwich orsomething like that.
And now we have a daughter who'sdriving us to school, who's 15,
she's got her permit.
So we roll up in a 15-passengerbus, and uh she's in the
driver's seat now, which is likethe coolest thing ever.
And by May, I've told herbecause she'll have her license

(10:36):
by then.
I said, You got the morningroutine.
The kids all know what they needto do.
So it's not that I won't wakeup, but I'm at that point now
where it is very plausible thatI can have our oldest child
drive all four kids to schooland back, which is crazy cool.
Um, and it's just cool becauseit's not that you don't want to

(10:56):
be involved, but when you seeyour kid do something that they
couldn't do before that isself-sufficient, like this, to
be able to sit back, which I dofrom time to time, I'll just sit
down and I'll watch them gothrough their morning routine in
absolute awe, realizing therewas a time where I was running

(11:19):
around like a chicken with myhead cut off.
It was not long ago.
Literally, did you do this?
Noah, Judah, Micah, May, Audrey,and I'm directing, I'm the I'm
the general, I'm the quarterbackwith a total no game plan,
nobody knows their positions,nobody knows what routes to run,
and I'm running it all.
And I'm losing my peace, I'mlosing my joy.

(11:42):
You know, it's it's a mess.
And now I can literally sit downand I can just call out the
time, and they are in motion andthere's joy.
There's actually joy in thehome.
There was so much stress before.
So I think you asked a day inthe life of probably the
greatest thing is that themorning routines went from my
greatest hell.

(12:02):
I mean, I dreaded the morningroutine because I was
integrating into the home forthe first time and I was not
good at it.
To now I have, I mean, I havetotal peace and joy about a
morning.
It's really not, there's nonothing really challenging about
it.
Every once in a while, there's akid who, you know, has a
difficulty, but you can dealwith it because the other kids
know what they're doing.
So that's really great.

(12:22):
And then they play sports.
So my my 15-year-old daughter isa great lacrosse player.
She plays club club ball with uhclub club lacrosse with um 3D
lacrosse.
And uh my son, who's 14, alsoplays club lacrosse, and I coach
him because I played prolacrosse.

(12:43):
Um, and uh and their mom alsoplayed top-level lacrosse.
And so I've coached my14-year-old on a club team.
Then my 12-year-old is a prettydarn good soccer player.
He's in travel soccer.
My 10-year-old's also a soccerplayer, has been picking up
really fast, and mynine-year-old is a soccer player

(13:04):
herself.
We got one guitar player inthere as well, Micah.
The the fourth is a guitarplayer.
Nice.
Um, and we've got some artists.
In fact, my daughter, my15-year-old, just opened her
Etsy store yesterday, and shemakes handmade stuff and she
paints, and so yeah, it's uhthat's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_02 (13:23):
It's pretty vibrant.
Um, where do I start, man?
There's so much there.
I um well, first I want to saythere's uh the the journey that
you went through with like thatfeeling of like, oh my god, I'm
I'm doing nothing for my kids.
What have I done?
Guilty.
I went through that in COVID2020 when I realized uh actually
I interviewed a guy named SwenNader.

(13:44):
For those that have heard thisprize story, you've heard it
before.
Sorry, I'm gonna give Swen Nadersome love.
Uh Swen Nader, former amazingcollege basketball story,
Costco.
He worked at Costco for years.
He might still work there.
Uh Swen played for uh a guy thatsome people have heard of, a guy
named uh John Wooden.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, decentbasketball career, only eight
consecutive NCAA championships,no biggie, you know.

(14:07):
But Swen wrote a book uh calledYou You Have Not Taught Until
They Have Learned.
And it really hit me right inthe you know what?
I was like, wow, like so we weredoing too much, same thing.
I was and then we said, Hey,what's for lunch?
Figured out it's almost likecold turkey the other way, you

(14:27):
know.
Now, and we weren't that coldabout it, but we just said, Hey,
mom and dad, we're doing toomuch.
And yeah, I know that you lovethis country club lifestyle
where just every you're gettingserved at you know vacation.
That's not reality, brothers andsisters.
So we're gonna we're gonnachange that.
And so now I don't pack, I can'ttell you last time I packed
lunch with my daughter, she'sstill in a senior in high
school.
Um, even like watching my sontravel like and manage the

(14:48):
airport journey by himself.

SPEAKER_04 (14:51):
It's so powerful, right?

SPEAKER_02 (14:52):
You know, it's from as simple as like getting a
boarding pass on your phone togoing through TSA to hey,
where's my gate?
You know, going solo, and likethat's just so like rewarding to
see him to do that, you know.
Um, so that when you told thatstory, it definitely spoke to
me.
Um well, before we dive intosome of your journey, man, I
always like to learn kind ofwhat shaped people.

(15:14):
So bring me back to what waslike for Chad growing up.
Talk about the impact that momand dad had mom and dad had on
you from a values perspectivethat now that you use as a
father.

SPEAKER_04 (15:23):
Hmm.
Great question.
There's some there's somenuances here.
Um, so I was born in California,but grew up in Colorado Springs.
And uh my parents were divorcedwhen I was about four, which was
a blow took it was a big blow tome.
And I didn't know it at thetime, but I closed my heart off
during that time.

(15:44):
This is what I uncovered later.
Very sensitive kid, um, a verysensitive adult, which is a
gift, by the way.
Didn't know that until Iuncovered it.
And uh I started getting a lotin trouble.
So I was a troubled child upuntil the age of man, 11, 12,
and probably thereafter a bit,but I started to uh rein it in

(16:07):
because uh sports essentiallysaved my life.
I was a great lacrosse and icehockey player.
And I had an opportunity to goget out of trouble because I was
getting in a lot of it, and goaway when I was 11, about to
turn 12, to Maine and live withanother family.
Actually, quite uh famous guy,Travis Roy, who broke his neck

(16:31):
six seconds into, or sorry,eleven seconds into his first
game at Boston University,Terriers.
He was a the number one recruitin the country.
Remember this, drafted by theRed Wings.
I live with that family.
I live I lived in his bedroomwhile he was at Tabor Academy, I
was at North Yarmouth Academy,living with his parents, helping
to basically fund um him him inschool.

(16:51):
They boarded two kids at a time.
And so I boarded there.
I was so homesick.
My first three months, Iliterally cried every night and
called home.
And my dad just said, make it tohockey season.
If you still want to come homein hockey season, you can come
home.
And uh my mom was like, Comehome, come home anytime you

(17:12):
want.
But uh they were divorced.
So in that case, I I stayed.
And when hockey started, I neverlooked back.
Uh everything changed.
So I stayed there.
I played ice hockey there fortwo years, and then I went to
Vermont Academy, which was aboarding school, because I was
the only kid from out of state.
I was a cowboy.
I was I showed up wearing acowboy hat and cowboy boots in

(17:32):
Maine.
I mean, I'll never forgetwalking down the gymnasium floor
to the first school meeting, andit silenced the entire gymnasium
when they saw me.
And all you could hear was theknocking of my boots on the
floor.
And I was stunned.

(17:52):
I was like, oh my, and I, ofcourse, the next day I went and
got new clothes.
My parents were still with me.
But um, that was that was apretty jolting experience.
And I went to boarding schooland graduated Vermont Academy
and ended up um becoming anall-American lacrosse player
there.
And hockey kind of hockey wasgood, but I couldn't find a D1
school where I could play bothat a high level, which I wanted

(18:14):
to.
Uh, my lacrosse had become mydominant sport.
So I went to the University ofDenver, which has a great
program, um, and played D1lacrosse there for four years,
had a great experience.
Again, that saved me having thatdiscipline.
So I started learning early on,and my dad was always driving
this in.
My dad was like man's man,discipline and hard work,

(18:35):
discipline and hard work.
Mean what you say, say what youmean.
All these kind of like he was alawyer and but a man's man
lawyer.
Um, and so I graduatedUniversity of Denver and got
drafted into the uh pro-lacrosseleague.
But before that, I had no ideawhat I wanted to do.
So I went to Europe for like twomonths and just traveled.

(19:02):
And I highly recommend this ifit's possible for anybody.
I mean, back then it was youbarely had a cell phone that
would be working.
So you just had to find your wayaround Europe, which was a huge
experience for me to just learnendlessly.
So I went all over all throughum Eastern and Western Europe.
During that time, I got a noteto be drafted, and I got drafted

(19:24):
uh first round actually, whichsurprised me to the Vancouver
Ravens, and I got to go live inthis is Indo-Lacrosse, I got to
go live in Vancouver for a year,and then that team got sold to
Anaheim, and we played where theMighty Ducks play, and I moved
back to Colorado, my home state,and I flew back and forth on the
weekends to play lacrossebecause it wasn't, they don't

(19:44):
pay you enough to do it fulltime.
And that's basically where Istarted my work career up until
that point.
I think there's a key mess, keynote.
I considered myself basicallyworthless.
Like I thought I would amount tonothing at that time.
I was a good pro athlete, but Icould not find passion and hold

(20:05):
a job to save my life.
Just nothing would interest me,and I would end up fizzling out
of everything.
I don't even know how I barelymade it through school.
I mean, school was so hard forme.
And then I was selling telecomdoor to door, I was playing pro
la cross, and I got rookie ofthe month in in telecom sales.
And before I knew it, I would beparking my car in these like

(20:28):
business lots because you'd haveto go into the buildings and
knock on all the doors.
They'd chase you out of thebuilding for no soliciting, no
soliciting buildings.
Um, I'd be sleeping in my carunder a tree.
And I remember just thinking,like, I'm screwed.
I don't know what I'm gonna dowith my life.
Like, I can't do anything.
And then I was coachinglacrosse, and a very well-known

(20:49):
entrepreneur had started alacrosse company called Harrow
Sports out of Denver.
He was one of the founders ofBlockbuster.
He bought it from WayneHeisinger.
You remember Big Blockbuster?
Oh, yeah.
He was the founder of Asia Bowland Boston Market, these food
chains.
And then he got into lacrosse,and I was coaching his kid.
And he said, Hey kid, why don'tyou come over and join us?

(21:13):
And I want you to be asalesperson at the lacrosse
company.
And I was like, Done.
That sounds interesting, insteadof selling telecom, and this is
where my world opened up.
All of the sudden I was sellingcalling lacrosse coaches who I
knew that world, selling thingsthat people wanted to buy, a
product I believed in, and likeeverything opened up.

(21:34):
So before I knew it, I wasdesigning products.
He was everything I would bringhim for like, hey, they they're
looking for lacrosse clubs,they're looking for shoulder
pads, they're looking for hewould just say, do it, do it, do
it.
And then I would then I'd flyinto China by myself and open up
lacrosse factories.
And all of a sudden I waskilling it because I found

(21:55):
something that met me where Iwas at it.
Passion, interest, capabilities,all of the art stuff I was doing
as a kid.
I was using it to draw newequipment, all this stuff.
Um, and in fact, where I met mywife, who I ended up having five
children with, was in thatworld.
She was a lacrosse playerherself.
And then eventually um we got toa place where we just weren't

(22:18):
investing in product developmentanymore.
And I wasn't sure about thefuture of it.
And Reebok was showing interest,the very first big company that
would ever get into the space.
Um, they were showing interestin lacrosse.
And I had just helped start thislacrosse company with this guy
because he hired me early.
So I ended up going to Reebokand starting Reebok Lacrosse,

(22:39):
which is so cool because it wasthe first big brand in the sport
that I loved and grew upplaying.
And I got to start it at thefirst big brand.
So the industry was totallyshaken by it.
I learned so much and launchedlacrosse for Reebok, and then
and then my whole Reebok storystarted.
So I think it was a pretty goodplace to stop.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (22:59):
Well, uh, I mean, this is I wish I could, I wish I
had a four-hour episode becausethere's so much I would love to
dive in there for.
But I want to rewind tapes.
What's what's ironically, ormaybe serendipster, I'm not sure
what the word I'm looking for,but my son's best friend did the
hockey billet.
He left his junior sophomorehigh school, no junior high
school.
He was in Idaho and then NewHampshire, and now he's in

(23:22):
Wyoming.
And it was funny, like he almosthad his first hockey fight ever
on the ice, and he was like, hedrops the gloves, they break it
up, and he the first person hethought of was, I can't wait to
send this to Ryder, unless hewas my son.
But he's like, Oh, it almosthappened, it almost happened.
He was like, That was the and soshout out to Ride Ride Dog if
you're listening, buddy.
But um, yeah, just a cool, coolstory.

(23:44):
But like, so I when you weresaying that, it made me go back
to what my my one of my goodfriends there they've gone
through, letting seen a childgo, but he's super mature and
grown through that experience.
Um, so I'll you you I'll go backto your your family real quick.
So parents got divorced, dad'syou know, man's man, lawyer,
probably some intensity, I wouldthink, with that.

(24:05):
Yep, you know.
Um, what so dad was did mom worktoo, or did she stay at home?

SPEAKER_04 (24:11):
Yeah, mom was mom's a doctor.
Mom's a and then had her ownnurse practitioner office and uh
at the time was an emergencynurse.
Yeah.
Are mom and dad still with us?
Yep.
Uh sorry.
Mom with us.
Dad passed away uh when I was24.

SPEAKER_02 (24:29):
Yeah.
I know what that's like.
My dad passed away December29th, 2021.
So we we have that in commontoo.

SPEAKER_04 (24:35):
Um great experience.
It's the hardest, one of thehardest things I've ever done.
Best thing that ever happened tome.
One of the best things that everhappened to me because I had to
grow.
I grew so much because he was mysafety net.
When your dad passed.
Yeah, it was so hard.
But um, as I learned quickly,hard does not mean bad.

SPEAKER_02 (24:53):
Yeah, if you have yeah, it's exactly that.
If you have the right mindset,you and that's what that's why
being curious is a superpower.
You're curious to see what'sgoing on.
It doesn't happen to me, ithappens for me.
It's a mindset shift.
There's a lot of lot of lot ofgrowth and gift that can come
from that if you really likeslow down and um so what did
what did mom teach you?

SPEAKER_04 (25:15):
I mean, mom was amazing.
Mom was like, she's justfireball.
So she's still a fireball.
This woman's in her 70s, and youshe's she's dancing, she's going
to concerts.
So, I mean, she taught us a lotabout freedom.
My mom was somebody who I couldtalk to about anything.
Dad was somebody who I wasperforming for and learning

(25:38):
about hard work and disciplineand love.
He loved me, loved us like bothmy brother and I talk about this
all the time, and my our youngerhalf-brother, that we were
unconditionally loved by ourdad, there was no question.
But he was hard.
And my mom was this just freedomplace where you could talk to
her about anything.

(25:59):
Sex, drugs, alcohol, all of itwas was open, which is not
always normal, right?
Right.
So it was beautiful that she wasopen for that.
And for me in particular, thiswas huge because I had I was
tormented on the inside so muchof my life.
I didn't know what to do withall of this.
And she was a big outlet for meto just process this and

(26:21):
basically takes took the shameaway from a lot of these
experiences I was having as akid that oftentimes kids are
left with to deal withthemselves because they don't
have a place to take thesethings.
They're all everybody goes totheir own version, right?
And my mom was that.
I mean, she she was justincredible um sounding board,

(26:44):
essentially, and just wouldreceive you where you were at
with no judgment.
I don't think I ever got introuble once sharing anything
with her.
Wow.
Like, and I could trust which itmeans trust, right?
I could trust that I could shareand she wasn't gonna intervene
no matter just about how bad itwas or what I was talking about.
She would just she would just bethere.

SPEAKER_02 (27:05):
Yeah, that makes me uh makes me think, uh this is I
can't believe I'm gonna sharethis, but it's kind of kind of
funny, but it's but it's provesa point of like when you have
that trust with a parent.
Um when I was like in you knowyou fifth grade, you go through
the sex ed and you know typicalimmature boy, you're thinking of
like, I'm gonna I'm gonna thinkof the most silliest question,
so the teacher has to read itfor everybody, we're all gonna

(27:26):
laugh about it.
I mean, some of the things I'dask were so stupid, Chad, like
asinine, if I think back now,like borderline the Saturday
Night Live couldn't think of isis immature and gross things I
was thinking about, but I waslike, I'm gonna do it.
And the teacher calls my mom andsays, Hey, what's what's wrong
with this guy?
Like, what the hell's wrong?
You know, essentially, and mymom said, Hey, if if you if you

(27:49):
told the kids to ask anything,be ready to answer anything.
Don't don't blame the kid.
And she wasn't like defensivefor me, but I was like, hey, she
but she had my back.
Now behind the scenes, she said,Hey, did you really want to know
that question?
Or were you just being an idiot?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And she didn't seem an idiot,but I was like, I was being
stupid and immature like mostboys are.

(28:10):
And but to the point of like, Ithink that's that's important
when and I think one thing I'malready getting out of this
episode, chat, is um you know,life gets, you know, the whole
Ferris Bieler, life goes by fastif you don't stop and take a
look around, like how often dowe really slow down to like say,
hey, how you doing, Riley, orhow you doing, Travis, or how
you doing, Rachel, or whateveryour son or daughter's name is,

(28:33):
and like mean it.
And like I I have greatrelationship with both my kids,
but like you're you're making methink, like, man, maybe there's
another level.

SPEAKER_04 (28:41):
There is a hundred per there is a hundred percent.
Yeah, there is, and and I haveI've experienced it head on
because I it's I don't know ifit'll freak people out, but I've
had some mystical experiencesthat um are basically like
near-death experiences.
If you look if you look intonear-death experiences, you'll
see find similar things.
All these these happened to mejust walking around the house,

(29:04):
um, and they still will occurevery once in a while.
But it's it's really importantto talk about it because it's
exactly what you said, and Ithink most most parents miss
this, and I was missing it.
Um I was walking around myhouse, it's the first time it
ever happened, and I was justwalking down a hallway, and in
front of me was my wife anddaughter working on some

(29:25):
homework in my office, and I wasin the hallway, and all of a
sudden, this basically warmsensation came over me from
behind like back of my neck.
Best way I can describe it.
And it's like I was unveiled,and and all I could see was the
depth and beauty and pain andeverything of that moment.

(29:48):
And I just started crying.
I mean, it was I and I hadn'tcried in like at that point, I
was forty something.
I don't besides in a movie, Idon't remember the last time I
had cried and my dad passing.
At at the burial, I cried.
But very few times.
And here I am just observing amoment.
And it's it's all of a sudden Ican see the full like 5D of that

(30:11):
moment.
I can see the love between thesetwo human beings.
I can see their inner pain.
And as this happened to me moreand again more and more, and I
couldn't control it, it wouldjust come.
What I was shown was we don'treally see each other.
So we don't slow down enough toreally look and see what's

(30:32):
happening inside the person.
If you are honest with yourselfand you go inward and find out
what's really going on in there,it will bring you to tears most
of the time because there's achild inside of all of us who is
scrapping, doing the best thatthey can all the time, either
trying to please, trying toperform.
It's this, it's this innocentversion of us that is in all of

(30:57):
us.
And if you ever have a chance tosee that in the other, it will
forever change you on how yousee that person.
And I got the chance to do havethis happen to me multiple
times.
And I got to see like my kidswhat they're really asking all
the time, Dad, do you see me?
Do you see me over here?
I'm here.
Do you love me?

(31:18):
Do you accept me?
My son, still to this day, 14.
What he's really saying to me,Dad, am I strong?
Do you think I have what ittakes?
Do you think I can make it?
Now he's saying a whole bunch ofother words.
And he's doing a whole bunch ofother things.
He's saying, look at me playthis video game.
And every once in a while I likeit to be unveiled.
And what and I'm there next tohim, and I just start tearing up

(31:39):
because what I really see himsaying is, Dad, do you see me?
Do you think I'm great?
And one of these experiences, Iwas shown what happens when we
pass.
And there's a lot of people whohave near-death experiences talk
about the life review.
And I got to see a life, I gotto see a version of it.
And what I was shown was whatMatt, what we will see, none of

(32:05):
the big moments.
We won't see like when we madethe game, you know, like when
we, I don't know, uh, we madethe birthday, and the birthday
was amazing for the child.
And none of these.
These are these are not thethings that are moving the
needle.
It's everything in between.
It's literally the moment whenyou're rushing around to get

(32:26):
something done, and your kidcomes in to interrupt you, and
you stop and you pay attention,and you think it was nothing.
Because I got to see those arethe moments that you throw an
arrow into the heart, or yougive, or they feel loved.
And those, and when you when Igot shown the pain I was causing

(32:46):
them by missing these smallmoments, oh my goodness, was it
painful?
And it it made me learn to slowdown and look for the signs that
I'm in one of those moments.
This is one of those moments,Chad.
Just slow down, even if I'm notunveiled, because I was all all
after that I was always like,how do I stay in this state

(33:07):
where I can really seeeverybody?
And the reason I can't is Iwould just cry all the time.
Honestly, I mean, when you seepeople for who they really are,
everybody, well, you blow yourmind.
There's so much pain, there's somuch love, there's so much going
on on inside of human beingsthat is not revealed on the
outside that it's overwhelming.
But you, if you have theseopportunities, you take it back

(33:29):
with you.
So what do I do now?
I try to slow down and see thatI remember it's the moments in
between.
It's not the big things.
And and see them and be presentto your point earlier.
Because it's yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (33:47):
He's an executive.
Uh and he's like, I get what youguys are talking about, but I I
can't, I can't do this because Imean that's you know, they're
gonna that's the story they'regonna tell themselves, you know.
And I I what you've gonethrough, I didn't go through
everything you went through, butpart of what you've gone
through, I I've I've that'syou're speaking because I've
I've experienced what you'veexperienced, not the mystical
part, but like the point of likewhen you make that decision and

(34:10):
the world doesn't fall apart,but you're there for your kid.
And it could be the smallestthing, but it's the biggest
thing.
Um walk me because I what I'mcurious about is is to like the
shift from you when you like theyour corporate journey started
to shift, and then also youknow, how did you get the trust
back of your kids?

(34:30):
If that's that's the right wayI'm asking.
I don't know if I that's theright way to ask it because I
don't I don't mean they didn'ttrust you, but like the because
sometimes when whenrelationships are very yes, no,
close, you know, how's your dadgood?
To getting them to open up, tofind to getting those moments
like so maybe like if you can'ttouch on touch on both, because
I think that'll really speak toa dad listening right now.

SPEAKER_04 (34:48):
Yeah, I I was a big executive.
I was running all of AsiaPacific for Reebok, hundreds of
millions of dollars, hundreds ofpeople traveling all the time.
And at that point, I on paperlooked great.
Five kids, and I was at a lot ofstuff.
I was actually showing up tosome stuff, but I was not

(35:09):
present.
And the biggest change I wouldmake if I could go back or when
I coach people now, it is bepresent, be present wherever you
are, whatever you're able to beat, at least be there because
you will you will then bring theversion of you that you need in
that moment that they need.
And that's all you can control.

(35:31):
Um and it's within your controlbecause it but it takes practice
because you've got to let go ofall the thoughts and all the
angst and all the stress aboutwhat's happening at work or what
you're gonna do.
And I did that unsuccessfully.
And that's why I'm here to helppeople, because now I I've
watched so many people start todo it successfully.

(35:52):
The way I got what I would callrespect and trust for my kids,
because the biggest thing Inoticed when I left the
workplace in 2020, at the end of2020, I left and I was gonna
take a couple years off.
I had done well and it wasCOVID, and I was able to take
some, I was gonna take two yearsoff.
It ended up being very difficultbecause my identity at the time

(36:15):
was tied up in things that couldbe stripped away.
So my identity was tied up in mywork, in my title, in my income,
in the in the idea that I hadthis amazing family and they all
loved me and in my marriage, andall of it started crumbling.
Much of it was gone, and thenand I had no idea who I was.

(36:36):
No idea who I was without all ofthese things.
My kids didn't respect me.
I was running big teams in Asia,opening hundreds of stores,
throwing around millions ofdollars, and everyone listened
to me, literally, especially inAsian culture.
And now I'm in the house, liketelling a kid to go to bed, and
they're like, no.
And I'm I'm I'm at my wit's end.

(36:56):
I'm angry at the I'm angry.
And um, well, it was a reallyhumbling experience.
I had to find out who I was.
So, how the best way to earn thetrust and respect from your
children is to first know whoyou are without all of those
things, because they see you aswho you really are.
And they saw me as who I reallywas.

(37:19):
That's why they didn't respectme, because I didn't know who I
was.
I was all these things thatdidn't matter to them.
They don't care that I'm likethe head of Reebok and they
don't give a crap about that,right?
And so, in finding out who Iwas, which meant go inward, go
inward and figure out who am Iat the core.
Without all of this, my goal wasno matter what anybody says to

(37:41):
me, no matter what I have orwhat I'm doing, can I be fully
fulfilled and unshakable?
That that was my goal.
I set out when I found out thatI was in an identity crisis.
And I went through the work tobecome a man who didn't need
things, didn't need to be doingthings, didn't need jobs, and

(38:03):
was still okay.
And that was a such a worthyjourney.
It's a journey that I'm sorry tointerrupt, child.
When you say work, you mean likegoing to therapy?
Yeah, I mean, I had a mentor, Ihad a spiritual mentor at the
time, and then I did a lot ofinward work.
I I leaned into that time of myfaith.
I was in prayer a lot, a lot ofmeditation, like meditative

(38:24):
prayer, contemplative prayer,where I'm just starting to
observe my thoughts, starting toobserve my emotions, become the
observer of myself and becomeaware of what's happening in me.
It blew my mind because I foundall kinds of brokenness in
there.
And in that, in doing that, Iget to start rewiring myself,
get to start thinking aboutthings differently because I do

(38:45):
get to control that.
I'm not responsible for my firstthought, but I am responsible
for what I do with it.
This is something I will tellthe kids.
We all have crazy stuff thatcomes in our head, but the
question is what do we choose todo with it?
Do we want to believe it withit, align with it, act on it, or
dismiss it?
Right?
Um, and so I had to learn, I hadto learn that.
And doing that is where my kidsstarted to respect me because

(39:09):
that changed my behavior.
I could I learned that I coulddo the same task, call it um
washing the dishes or packing akid's lunch, because back then I
was still doing that.
Um I could do the same tasks,and when I'm doing that thing
for myself out of an unknowingplace, which most of us, I

(39:33):
believe, are doing, it holdsvery little value or power.
But when I'm doing that placefrom a when I'm doing that from
a place of true love for thebenefit of another, which is
love, and not needing anyrecognition, not needing anybody
to see it, not anything, Ibegin, I transform that same

(39:53):
action completely.
And what you don't realize isyou start to transform your
entire environment.
It's a law of the un, it's a lawof the universe.
Like this, the now, the coolthing is in quantum physics,
they're starting to be able toshow all of these weird
spiritual things we talk about.
They're all now being proven inquantum physics and how they
affect other human beings.

(40:14):
And so my kids start seeing medifferently because they're
feeling a totally differentfrequency from me.
And this slowly builds trust.
So it's not like it wasn't like,oh, just go spend more time with
them.
Just like get to their gamesmore because that you can do
that with a really low frequencywhere you're not really there
for them.
You're actually just trying toget them to like you.

(40:35):
And it's better than not, but itis not the real work.
The real work's got to happen inyou first.
That's what I that's what Ilearned.

SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
Hello, everybody.
My name's Craig Coe, and I'm thesenior vice president of
relationship management forBeeline.
For more than 20 years, we'vebeen helping Fortune 1000
companies drive a competitiveadvantage with their external
workforce.
In fact, Beeline's history offirst-to-market innovations has
become today's industrystandards.
I get asked all the time, whatdid Casey do for your

(41:06):
organization?

And I say this (41:07):
it's simple.
The guy Flat Out gets it,relationships matter.
His down-to-earth presentation,his real-world experience apply
to every area of our business.
In fact, his book, Win theRelationship and Not the Deal,
has become required reading forall new members of the Global
Relationship Management Team.

(41:27):
If you'd like to know more aboutme or about Beeline, please
reach out to me on LinkedIn.
And if you don't know CaseyJacks, go to caseyjcox.com and
learn more about how he can helpyour organization.
Now, let's get back to today'sepisode.

SPEAKER_02 (41:44):
Well, one thing you said was the reason I started
this podcast, Chad.
And I don't, and I know you saidit like not self-deprecating,
but there's a lot of truth towhat you said, and it's and I
believe it's like so when I wasan executive doing great things
in corporate.
Uh I left, we have a lot incommon, brother.

(42:04):
Like I left in 2020.
My identity was tied to, I wasnumber one producer of the
staffing company for 10 straightyears, left as the most
successful staffing guy in thehistory of the company.
And I was like, who cares?
Now I was always hum humbleabout it because I was, you
know, being the quarterback, Imean I was like, get my
lineman's name in the paper,thank my receivers, thank my
defense, thank Bush teams, thankthe coach.
Like, I was wired that way.

(42:25):
Same thing helped meincorporate, but when I left,
and I was like, okay, what am Igonna do next?
Uh and I I wrote I wrote thisbook, and one of the things I my
son was seven, he asked me, HeyDad, what do you do for a
living?
I I couldn't say, Oh, I dadprovide staff augmentation,
professional services, work withthem design.
But he's like, What the helldoes that mean?
Yeah, so I just told him I makefriends for a living.

(42:45):
And and you know, like when afriend needs help, they I go
help them and they'll pay memoney.
Sometimes a friend needs help,but I'm not the right right
friend, so I gotta find adifferent friend.
So you know, so like taught themthat.
And so, but what what back atthis podcast is like your kids
don't care.
Like you think they care.
Oh, I'm a pilot or I'm aprophet.
Who gives a shit?

(43:05):
Doesn't you're still a dad, andyou at that's the most number
one, most frickin' mostimportant job we all have.
And yeah, so who cares?
You can type more you you canyou can you know you can build a
house quicker than the guy nextto you.
Who gives a shit?
Do you have a relationship withyour son or daughter?
Do you know what they like todo?
Are you trying to figure outways to help make their life

(43:27):
better than yours?
Are you showing, are you tellingthem where you sucked?
Are you apologizing to them?
Are you teaching them it's okayto ask for help?
Now listen, I'm not trying toget on a freaking soapbox.
Like selfishly, everybody, I getfree therapy from every episode,
and I got a page full of noteshere.
And I hope that if you've nottaken notes, you're listening to
this, what Chad's talking about,go back and relisten to it.

(43:49):
Because you and you don't need apodcast to to grow.
This is just you know, you youneed a uh a dude or a buddy or a
friend or somebody and go grabcoffee.
Hey man, I'm struggling.
Or hey, that's right, do I is myego in the way right now?
Or hey, man, I'm how can I be abetter husband to my wife this
week?
Like, what what are you likefind out some of this stuff?

(44:11):
And it's like um I always tellpeople, like, we either can be
comfortable on the sidelines oryou can get get in the game and
get uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_04 (44:19):
This is exactly right, Casey.
That work I I was saying that Idid internally.
One thing I missed was besidesmy mentor, there were some
people that came into my life,but I had to allow them in, just
like you're saying.
Some sometimes you need to gofind them.
I had the gift of they came tome, and I had to recognize this
person can help me.
And it was humbling because oneof those people was my brother,

(44:42):
younger brother-in-law, quite abit younger than me, and I had
been like his mentor for solong, and I had helped him
financially, and he was a wreck.
I mean, he almost ended his lifethree times, was addicted to
drugs and alcohol, was totaltrain wreck.

(45:03):
But he had changed over thoseyears, and he showed up at my
door one day, and when I'm itwas in my darkness, and he
wasn't totally healed yet, buthe came and he said, How are you
doing?
And I was able to look at himand say, Not so well.
And he said, I will be hereevery day you need.
He'd lived an hour and 45minutes away.

(45:24):
I'll be here every day you needme.
And I accepted it.
And what I found from that washere is a kid, he had no kids.
He taught me more than anybodythrough my process about how to
practically be a good father andlearn to love my kids and see

(45:45):
them than anybody else.
But it took me to recognize andto humble myself to start to
receive advice.
And I used to call him foradvice.
No kids, right?
He has no kids.
I've got five kids.
He's his younger brother-in-law,but he had wisdom in droves.
And without that accountability,and he called me out all the

(46:07):
time.
He'd be like, You you'd no way,you're being an ass.
You can't do that.
Like he would just call me out.
And I, but it was my choice.
I could have cut him out anytimeI wanted, and I think a lot of
us do because it's hard.
When you did that, I would justgo inward when he would, I'd be
so frustrated sometimes the wayhe would talk to me, the things

(46:28):
he would say, because they wouldjust bring they would trigger
me.
Sure.
Um, I would just go, I wouldliterally get on my hands and
knees into like this submittiveprayer state, and just go inward
and just ask the question, whatis he really saying?
Is this what I'm feelinglegitimate, or is this just
something I need to let go of?

(46:49):
And every time it was let go,let go.
I just would hear, let go andreceive, let go and receive,
like humble yourself.
And so you have to like takethat.
I had to take that time and findthat place alone to go process
these things.
Sometimes I just literally likelike, give me a minute.
I go in the other room, closethe door, go on my hands and
knees, and just go deep and justbe like, show me, show me what

(47:11):
I'm not seeing, show me, andthen go inward.
And I would be revealed what wasactually happening.
And I come back out and be like,Thank you.
Thank you.
Does he know how you feel abouthim?
He does.
Yeah, I made sure he knewbecause as I healed and as I
well, as I grew and as I healedand became who I always wanted
to be, I mean, I could not helpbut give back to him.

(47:32):
Yeah, this incredible gift.

SPEAKER_02 (47:35):
And this is your younger brother-in-law of the
divorce you're going through.
Yes, which is even morepowerful.
So powerful.
Yeah.
Because you easily could shutthat off too.
You're like, sorry, dude, I'mout.

SPEAKER_04 (47:48):
Yep.
Yep.
So I mean, at the time I wasn'tgoing through divorce, but we
were going through a lot of hardtimes with his sister, my wife,
and I.
And um because there was anillness and I missed all the
signs.
I was blind in the beginning.
I mean, there was I had a lot tolearn about what I was doing and
the man I was.
And I'm so grateful I did thatwork.

(48:11):
I am, I was, I was not gonna bein a good place.
And I could have left early.
I mean, it was hard, and I thinka lot of men do, and I or a lot
of women do.
A lot of people leave uh what Iwould say is too soon because
it's uncomfortable or it'sreally painful.
And I'm glad that we as a couplehung on for as long as we did

(48:32):
because we grew each other in somany ways.
When it finally came, it's likeit was just obvious.
It didn't come out of thedecision to split.
This is a big one.
I didn't believe in divorce, Ididn't believe in any of this,
but the decision came from aplace of peace in the end,
truly, did not come out of likeall this resentment and anger,

(48:54):
and sh not at all.
Blew my mind, actually.
Um, it was just time.
It was so clear that it wastime.
And it took me a while to seethat, but then it was clear.
And I'm so glad that I went asfar as I did that we did,
because we, I believe, goteverything we were supposed to
get from that experience.

(49:15):
And yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (49:16):
So if there's a dad listening, which I know there
is, um that's maybe goingthrough a divorce, it just it's
ugly, it's painful.
Um, because I've interviewed alot of dads who've gone through
divorce, I've interviewed dadswho've gone through the court
system, I've learned a lot aboutthat, I've learned about and and
I don't no one gets married andsays, Man, I can't wait to go
through divorce.
This is this is my goal.
That's gonna be awesome.

(49:36):
No one wants this, but ithappens.
What would be tell me what wouldbe um one of your biggest aha's
through the journey that youwish you could go back and learn
quicker that might help anotherdad at home?
Easy.
Easy.

SPEAKER_04 (49:51):
Because I've actually helped dads going
through this divorce and andlosing their children and stuff
like this.
And um the most important thingis to first stop and recognize
that your circumstances are foryour benefit always.
They are trying to tell yousomething.
If you understand the reality ofthis creation that we are living

(50:14):
in, it doesn't take much work togo see how things work.
Just go look at go look at theworld, go look at how nature
works.
You will quickly see that inorder for things to grow, they
must first die.
They must first be pruned, rosebushes pruned.
Look at this how the seasonswork.
The trees literally die, theyshed their seeds, right, to grow

(50:38):
again.
This whole creation that we'reliving in is made for growth.
We didn't come into these littlebeings down here to have it
easy.
We came to grow.
And this is like foundationally,everything that I tell my kids
all the time this whole thing isabout growth.
So don't expect it to be easy.
And when things are hard,they're not bad.

(50:58):
They're trying to tell yousomething.
So as fast as you can, I do itnow all the time.
Anytime something, anytimesomething is hard now, I stop
immediately and I go inward andgo, okay, what am I to learn
from this?
There's obviously something forme to learn.
It's never to do with the otherperson.
Never.
I mean that.
It's never about them.
There's always something in me Ican uncover.

(51:19):
And the faster I do that, thefaster I find peace with it, the
faster I grow, and the fasternormally those circumstances
change.
But they don't always have tochange.
Sometimes you just got to dealwith the circumstance.
Maybe it's a really bad divorce,and you just got to deal with it
and recognize that that thing isthere for your benefit.
So learn everything you canthrough the whole experience.

(51:43):
Do not spend too much time invictimhood, in blaming, in why
they're so mean, they're doingall these things.
Recognize it's all there foryour benefit.

SPEAKER_02 (51:56):
Yeah, that's powerful, man.
I think it's so true.
It's easier said than done attimes, and I think everybody's
gonna go through that journey attheir own pace.
But when you can realize that umit's there's growth.
Um, I know one thing I was gonnasay.
I wanted to, I wanted to um, yousaid something earlier where
back to identity that made methink.

(52:16):
So I remember like one of mybiggest blessings my wife gave
me was when I was first got intocoaching, because I did not mean
to do it.
I did not mean to get anexecutive sales and leadership
work.
Uh I knew I wrote I wanted towrite a book and do a podcast
when I was when I left corporateto try to figure out hey, what's
next for me?
And then I got so wrapped upinto like, oh my god, this is so
fun.
I'm helping people and I'm andthis coaching and da da da da

(52:37):
and all you know, all thesethings, and it because it was
almost like my new identity.
And then at one point, um mywife looked at me one day and
this is like four years ago.

SPEAKER_03 (52:46):
Remember like yesterday, she goes, Hey, um, we
don't want to get coached.
And I was like, wait, what?
She's like, Yeah, we we wantCasey the dad back.

SPEAKER_02 (53:00):
Let let him let him know.
And I could have easily beenlike, F you or what why are you
being such a heartless wench?
But I was like, whoa, what awhat a punch in the face that I
needed.
Because I didn't want my friendsthinking the guy was like this
holier the mighty.
Like, they didn't ask to getcoached, they asked me to go
play golf them.
They asked me to go grab a beer,they asked me to go, hey, let's

(53:21):
go to watch the mariname.
They didn't think, like hey,deep down, we want you to coach
me and like talk about yourpodcast for seven hours.
Like, if they want to know,they're gonna ask.
And it was such a blessing forme, man, because like that
doesn't mean I'm not proud ofwhat I'm doing.
I'm very proud of what I do, andI love what I do, and I get so
much joy in meeting people likeyou and creating stories, and

(53:43):
hopefully it hits the rightperson at the right time, or
going to you know, speaking at aconference and you have
something come up to you and youfeel like you change our life.
That I've have so much joy inthat, but it does not define me.
Yeah, you know, and it's like Ihope that people like and dude,
you're you're like the epitomeof it, freaking Reebok
executive, everyone in the worldfor Reebok.

(54:04):
And to share what you've shared,I think is just so powerful and
vulnerable.
And I hope that there's a dadlistening that you know, you can
keep telling yourself the story,dad, or you can be honest with
yourself.
Yeah, let's make a change today.
Why not?
Why not you?
You know, and um I think I thinkit's great.
So I appreciate you you sharingthis.

(54:26):
Um if if before I want before Iwant to make sure we're getting
ready to wrap up here because Icould talk to you for hours,
dude.
If you were to summarizeeverything that we've talked
about, so that's that's enough,we're gonna we're gonna make a
little cocktail here.
So that's that's part of theingredients.
The other part of theingredients is gonna be like so
everything we've talked abouttoday, everything you've learned

(54:46):
as a dad uh on your journey sofar, you put all this together.
What would be like, we'll callit two or three actionable
things that dads can take fromour conversation to be a better
leader or quarterback of theirhome based on everything we've
talked about today?
Sure.

SPEAKER_04 (55:01):
Um, first thing is go inward first.
Look at what's going on inyourself.

SPEAKER_03 (55:07):
Do not be afraid to do that, and don't go at it
alone.

SPEAKER_04 (55:14):
What do you mean by that?
It means, like you said, findsomebody, they're there.
I guarantee you if you're ready,which is how the universe works,
there will be somebody who isavailable to go through it with
you.
Somebody who's been through itbefore.
I mean, this is basically youand I reach out to one of us.
I mean, somebody who has who canhelp you, a buddy who's been

(55:35):
through it or going through it,and go inward and find out
what's going on there and andfind a way to talk about it.
Journal about it, talk about it.
But you got you gotta go inward.
Um recognize that uh everythingworks for your benefit, and

(55:56):
there is something to learn fromeverything in life.
Never look and which which meansthere is never blame accusation
ever.
It will never fly, it willalways lead you astray.
You always miss the mark.
So even yourself, there is noblame.

(56:20):
Beautiful thing down here.
And um and rem remember thatthis is a very short little
stint.
This little thing we call lifeis but a blip on a radar, it's
real short.
And so enjoy the crap out of it.
Like these journeys, this stuffwe're talking about, is heavy.

(56:41):
It can be really hard.
And a lot of times during myjourney, I forgot to enjoy
myself because I was in so muchpain.
But if you have the perspectiveand you understand this life is
short, this whole thing is aboutgrowth down here, then that
means everything is okay.
Enjoy it.
So I'm gonna give just a veryshort example.

(57:01):
This happened to me recently.
I was met with an obstacle,something came at me from the
outside, came at me and itstung.
And I stopped and said, What doI need to learn?
And then the very next thing Idid was started laughing and
said thank you to the person,not to them, but to in my own by
myself, I started laughing andsaid, Thank you.

(57:24):
This is freaking great.
This is why I came here.
This is like this, what abeautiful opportunity.
And when I coach people, this iswhat I say, though a lot of
times it's shocking.
But they'll present somehorrible, and I'll look at them
and say, This is amazing.
You might not want to hear this,but this is like, think about
what's happening right now.
You get the greatest opportunityto grow.

(57:45):
Like you're in the best workoutever.
You're gonna be like the fittestperson on earth when you come
out of this thing.
So it's like this total joy andgratitude for that trial, and it
just transforms the moment.
It's not some bullshit.
I'm not saying like you'retricking yourself.
I truly feel that when it comes.
Yeah.
And it's yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02 (58:06):
Love it, man.
Okay.
If let's talk about activate.
You you you you found it acoaching consulting business,
you're helping people, you kindof tease us a little bit.
Tell us, tell us how people canum get connected with you, learn
about you, um, and learn aboutthe work you're doing for a lot
of people.

SPEAKER_04 (58:25):
So the website's activate my identity.com because
I believe the greatest umepidemic we have in the world is
a lack of true identity.
It's where everything starts, inmy opinion.
So that's what that's the workthat we do, and we do it through
um lived experience, obviously.
There's more than one of us.
There's there's I have two otherpartners.

(58:46):
And we have the the best way Ican describe it is there are
things we know about nature thatexist in codes, Fibonacci
sequence, circadian rhythm, um,weather patterns.
We have learned so much aboutthese things in science.
Well, there are also codes toour existence as a human being,

(59:08):
and we each have a uniquedesign.
And we have we have access tothose.
They've been around some of themfor thousands of years, and we
use these to help people seetheir design, their unique
design, along with our livedexperience, and unlock
themselves because that this iswhat I was lacking.
What I was lacking in myjourney, even my journey of

(59:28):
spirituality, was thisdefinitive understanding of
myself.
Like I understood at the corewho I was, and I was loved, and
I was all these things.
But now I literally have a mapof my design.
I know my exact, I know mydestiny, I know my strengths, my
weaknesses.
It sounds eerie, but it's nomore eerie than uncovering the
Fibonacci sequence, like on howorder and chaos, order versus

(59:53):
chaos works.
So um, this is the work that wedo, and I'm super passionate
about it because it unlockspeople like us.
I've never seen anything dobecause it shows them who they
truly are at the core.
They got to do the work.
But um you'll see us postingalso on Instagram.
I'm on Instagram andCWitman1419.
I'll give you the links toinclude in this.

(01:00:13):
But um yeah, and we're justgetting going.
I've been coaching people forfive years behind the scenes
one-on-one CEOs and individuals,and it's time for us to share
our method with the worldbecause it's been just so
transformative.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:30):
Love it, man.
Well, I I I hope that peopletake time to click on the links
in the show notes.
If you've seen this onInstagram, you've seen this on
LinkedIn.
Um, reach out to Chad, learnmore about his work.
Uh obviously, I I think one ofmy favorite things you said
about your guys' business, it'slived experience.
That spoke to me big timebecause um that was one of the

(01:00:52):
biggest reasons I almost didn'tget into coaching because I was
telling myself a story.
Well, I'm not certified.
I don't, I don't, I didn't go tocoaching school.
But actually, I realized thatChad, I'm the only one certified
in my coaching program.
It's called Win theRelationship, Not the Deal.
I'm the only one.
And I'm the only one that'llever be certified in that.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:06):
Yeah, yeah, it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:08):
So, you know, and so it's like it's again mindset
shift, but like I I I like Ilike working people or surround
myself, people who walk the walka little bit, who've been there.
Not to say that yeah, I can'tlearn like your brother-in-law's
perfect example.
But I don't, I I wanna I want tolearn from wisdom of people that
either you know because you'vebeen there or you know because

(01:01:29):
you know someone who's beenthere and you're not guessing.
And it's it's a it's uh such awhat a gift that like I feel
like at the state of life I'min, I get to send the elevator
back down to somebody who heydude, don't take the stairs.
Here's the elevator, but here'sthe lesson, don't do what I did
because it's not that it ain'tgonna work.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:47):
Correct, correct.
And it's just a blessing to beable to give it away.
That's what we that's what weexist for.
That's it.
We live our experiences not forourselves ultimately, but we to
give them back.
And that and you know it becauseyou're Casey, you're a rare
bird, my friend, who hasuncovered the truth of our
existence without spiritual,without this, any of that

(01:02:08):
necessarily uh what a lot ofpeople might be turned off by.
Let's say it's not that youdon't have beliefs, I don't know
what they are, but you seem tohave found it in your own way.
But all I see and all I hearfrom you is the truth about what
we are doing here, and you arewalking in it, and it's
beautiful, so rare.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:29):
Well, look at this, Chad.
Everybody can't see this,everybody at home, but I'm this
Chad is a gratitude journal.
There you go.
Every morning, and every morningI say the same thing.
God, thanks for waking me uptoday.
Now, I know about you, I've notmet God.
Uh but I have something I prayto and it speaks to me.
I look at a scripture everymorning.

(01:02:49):
Sometimes I have no idea whatthe hell it means.
Sometimes like, mm, that spoketo me.
Um, but I I am like I would sayvery spiritual dude, but I don't
go to church.
I don't want to get that'sanother Pandora's box that I
want to go down.
But I'm just saying to me, it'slike my my spirituality in my
church is just be nice.
Kindness wins, be a good person,go out of my way to be curious,

(01:03:11):
help somebody, don't be anasshole.
Simple, isn't it?
If there's someone on LinkedInthat should go meet somebody,
make an introduction.
Um, I interviewed somebodyyesterday who does the exact
same thing I do, and I'm gonnapromote the hell out of them.

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:25):
When you're in abundance, man, it is frizz.
Amen.
I shout out to Chris Mater.
My I can't, I made the choicenot to go to a um made I made
the choice not to go be aspeaker at another conference
that would probably benefit megreatly.
I chose going to my son's golftournament in November.
And if people want to judge mefor that, then that's that

(01:03:47):
that's their I don't havecontrol over that, but I know
I'm doing the right thing in 10years I'm not gonna regret it.
Nope.
And but instead of just leavinghim high and dry, I went and
found him uh essentially acompetitor that does what I do,
but he's a great friend of mine.
I'm like, he you're in greathands, he's gonna take care of
you.
Yeah, and I'm not worried aboutlike, oh, what am I not gonna
get out of it?

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:05):
I'm worried about hey, what are they gonna get out
of it?
Yeah, yeah, which is why you'llbe more than okay because you
you are operating in flow withthe way it's all designed here.
God made this in a way that loveis the ultimate currency.
And all can be provided for whenyou operate like that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:24):
Beautiful freeing, man.
Okay, I will make sure this islinked in the show notes.
It's now time to go into thelightning round chat, which I
show you the negative hits oftaking too many hits in college,
not bong hits, but footballhits.
Your job is to answer thesequestions hopefully as quickly
as you can.
My job is to try to get a giggleout of you.

SPEAKER_03 (01:04:41):
Deal.
Are you ready?

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:43):
I think so.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:44):
Okay.
Um, the reason why you leftReebok is because you kept
winning the CrossFit games.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:52):
Good job.
Nope.
I was burned out and ready toleave.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04:59):
Okay, but yeah.
Um if you were to score agame-winning goal in and to win
the Stanley Cup or win thelacrosse World Series, whatever
the hell that's I don't evenknow what it's called.
What would you rather do?
Versus what?
Sorry.
You gotta either you get theStanley Cup, game-winning goal,
game seven, hockey, or you'regonna, whatever the pro sport

(01:05:20):
and whatever the pro version oflacrosse is.
Hockey, hockey.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:23):
Okay, definitely hockey.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:24):
Favorite hockey team is red Detroit Red Rings.
Oh, yeah, Iserman.
Oh, yeah.
Better off.
Oh, yeah.
I'm a Seattle Kraken guy.
Oh, wow, okay.
I love hockey.
I've never played it except forfloor hockey, but I love hockey.
I can't wait for hockey seasonto start.
Um, tell me the last book youread.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:43):
Um Letting Go by David Hawkins.
Letting Go by David Hawkins.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:50):
Let's do that.
Letting Go by David Hawkins.
Letting Go by David Hockey.
I'll write that down.
Okay, if I went into your phone,what would be the one genre of
music that might surprise yourkids?
I tell my kids everything.
I don't think there's anything.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:03):
May probably um uh like Asian Tai Chi kind of
music.
Okay.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:12):
If you were to go on vacation right now, you and the
person of your choice, whoeverit could be, but it can't be
your kids.
Where are you going?
To be a friend, partner,brother-in-law.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:23):
I'm going, I'm going to uh Italy.
I'm going to multiple places inItaly.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:29):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:33):
Yeah, I'd go to the Napoli area.
I'd do Rome, do Florence.
It's been way too many years.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:40):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:40):
Italy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:41):
If there was to be a book written about your life,
tell me the title.
Letting Go.
Yeah.
The same book I read.
There we go.
Now it's not letting go frozen,everybody, like the Disney.
It's a different type of lettinggo.
So now Disney, believe it ornot, and Netflix and Hulu and
all these, they're going to tryto make a movie out of this, and

(01:07:02):
that that's going to surpass theother Letting Go, which I can
play in the guitar.
True story.
Uh, and now, Chad, you are thecasting director.
I need to know who's going tostar you in this critically
acclaimed hit new movie.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:14):
Who's going to star me?

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:15):
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Who's going to be the thecritically acclaimed actor
that's going to win a goldenglobe for letting go?
And I need you to cast directorsand you know what Hollywood is.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:26):
Well, you know, I've I've been told that Harry Connig
Jr.
resembles me quite well.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:30):
So I love it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:33):
But I need to find a younger version of him.
I think he could pull it off.
I think he could pull off.
Um, and then last question tellme two words that that would
describe the joy you have foryour children.
Abundance.
Hmm, good one.
Joy.
There we go.
Lightning rounds complete.
We got a giggle.
Um, I went random as usual.

(01:07:55):
Um man, this has been a blessingand what a gift uh on a Tuesday
morning.
Uh everybody, thank you againfor your continued support.
Thank you again for taking timeto listen to each episode.
If I know this episode's hitsomebody right in the heart, and
my ask of you is go share withsomebody.
Uh, take time to leave us areview on wherever you listen to
this episode.

(01:08:16):
This is how the whole algorithmgame works.
I I don't play well enoughbecause I just keep recording
episodes.
And one thing I told Chad beforewe started is we try to get a
little bit more smarter in 2026about how this whole podcast
operates because there's moredads that that must hear these
stories that we are sharing, andthere's 320 of them now that
I've done, and we're alreadytalking about season seven.

(01:08:37):
Um, but man, I'm grateful for apass.
Therese, thank you for forbringing two C Dogs together.

SPEAKER_04 (01:08:44):
Yeah, C Dog.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:46):
Thanks, T Bake.
I call her Tea Bake, by the way.
Ooh, T Bake.
There we go.
All right, all right, man.
I appreciate you.
I'll let you know this episodegoes live, but very, very
grateful our pass across.
And I know this is not the lasttime we'll be speaking.
Same, man.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:00):
Thanks, Casey.