From Stanford Kicker To Startup CEO - Devoted Father - Derek Belch

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What if the most important leadership job you’ll ever hold doesn’t come with a test or a title? We sit down with Derek Belch—former Stanford kicker, startup founder, and dad of three—to unpack what real presence looks like, how values take root, and why failing publicly can be a gift to your kids.

Derek grew up with parents who made time their superpower. That “time-rich” model frames how he and his wife run the Belch huddle today: clear rules that point to deeper principles, kindness on repeat, and respect for your body and your limits. He shares the tough-love moment that transformed his baseball path at 13, the night he missed four field goals against Notre Dame and chose to show the tape to his kids, and the day he walked off a US AM Golf qualifier mid-shanks—then owned it at home. The throughline is radical accountability: you can’t control the bad round, but you can control your response, your repair, and your next rep.

We also trace the unlikely origin of STRIVR, Derek’s VR training company, born from a Stanford coaching thesis to help quarterbacks process faster. With a nudge from David Shaw, he turned a prototype into a platform used by major enterprises to build skills through immersive learning. Along the way, Derek explains why golf’s meritocracy resonates so deeply: the scorecard doesn’t care about your résumé, only your work. That mindset fuels his audacious goal to hopefully qualify for a PGA Tour event while leading a startup and coaching four youth teams.

If you’re a parent, coach, or leader who wants practical ways to model humility, set culture-shaping rules, and turn failure into momentum, this conversation will sharpen your playbook. Hit follow, share this with a friend who needs the reminder, and leave a quick review with your favorite takeaway—we read every one.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley.
And I'm Ryder.
And this is my dad Joe.
Well hey everybody, it's CaseyJcox with the Quarterback
Dadcats.
Welcome to season six, and Icannot be more excited to have
you join me for another year offantastic episodes of
conversations with unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:24):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they're arrays, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them, and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax, andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Deckcast.

(00:46):
Well, hey everybody, it is KCJCox with the Quarterback
Dadcast.
We are at the tail end of seasonsix.
And uh this next guest came tous uh while I was driving.
My son and I were driving to uhto drop him off our second year
of college.
He's a golfer at the mightySouthern Oregon, and we were we
were driving down, we'relistening to uh an a golf

(01:08):
podcast that we both enjoycalled the Wicked Smat golf
podcast with Michael Leonard.
Shout out to Michael and one ofthe guests he had on was a
gentleman by the name of DerekBelch, who is the CEO of Striver
and also an aspiring, I believe,US Open.
You never know, maybe a seniorPGA tour guy.
So if he's looking for a looper,I think I'm his guy.

SPEAKER_05 (01:26):
No senior, no senior.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
Dude, just PGA tour.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Okay.
He's also a kicker at Stanford.
He made a couple of post-50arters.
Uh, he was an academicAll-American.
He also was a coach for theMighty Cardinal.
Um, he's also the host of thegolfing CEO podcast, as well as
CEO of Striver, but moreimportantly, Derek is a dad.
And he's working, and we'regonna learn today how he's

(01:48):
working hard to become thatultimate quarterback or leader
of his household.
So further ado, Mr.
Belch, welcome to thequarterback dadcast.
Happy to be here.
Thanks, Casey.
Well, we always start out eachepisode with gratitude.
So tell me, what are you mostgrateful for as a dad today?

SPEAKER_05 (02:02):
Yeah, um I've been thinking about this one actually
for a few weeks since we met.
And I I couldn't go through allof your hundreds of episodes uh
before three hundreds.
Three, yeah, three hundredsbefore we hundreds, I did say
hundreds.
Um uh but I I did listen to toenough between you know uh when
we met and today just to get afeel.

(02:23):
And um quick quick story.
We we did a leadership offsiteseveral years ago at my company,
and uh we did one of thosebonding things to start.
And uh one of the questions was,what is your biggest fear?
And we told everyone before westarted that, we said, you are

(02:43):
not allowed to say your spousedying or your kids dying,
because that's like a given,right?
Like we we all know that thatwould be awful, and you're not
allowed to say that, okay?
Not that we don't know that youfear that, and you we know that
you love them, you know.
So, so uh, as I was beenlistening to some of your
amazing guests and kind ofthinking through this, um,

(03:04):
listen, it's a given that I amgrateful for waking up today and
my children waking up today andtheir health.
Okay, that is a given.
Um, so that's that's a that's aI'm not gonna give that answer.
Um, I'm gonna give a little bitdifferent of an answer that I
haven't heard yet.
Love it.
Um, I'm I'm really grateful tobe on this show.

(03:25):
Uh, I'm I'm grateful to betalking about a top topic that I
am extremely passionate about,and that is parenting uh and and
being a dad.
Um I don't think it's a topicthat gets the attention it
deserves.
Yeah, there's a million booksout there, but uh I think in
podcast media realm, it'sprobably not interesting enough

(03:49):
day to day, you know, forpeople.
Um and furthermore, um thinkabout it, like you have to be 18
to vote, you have to be 16 toget a license, you have to be 21
to drink alcohol.
There are all these things thatwe in society in America at
least, you have to pass a testand prove that you're competent

(04:12):
to do it.
But then when it comes toparenting, there's yeah, there's
a lot of manuals out there, butthere's no test.
And you you could argue thatthis is the single most
important thing that we shouldtest people on because it forms
the future of our world and oursociety, right?
So super grateful to be uh be ontoday to be having that this
conversation.

SPEAKER_01 (04:33):
Well, that's a great answer, man.
I'm honored you're you're here.
I um I'm grateful for umadversity.
And it's never fun to gothrough, but I know that when
you go through it, uh there'salways something positive in it.
And um my son is uh he's a plustwo handicap playing in college.

(04:54):
Uh he's a obviously a latebloomer.
Uh and as you know, uh the golfgods sometimes are gonna kick
you in the you know what, uh,the day you forget to wear the
cup for no reason.
And my son, he's been playingfantastic, he had just one of
the commo one of the mostresilient rounds recently.
I witnessed it was like justlike one of the coolest dad
Disney moments slash Rudy typemoments.

(05:16):
Well, this this past weekend,we're recording in October now.
This episode will come out inprobably about a month or so, uh
everybody.
But um uh so the in the collegetournaments they play 36 holes
the first day and then they play18 the next.
And the first round he he he hadkind of a his bad rounds now are
kind of mid mid upper 70s, so heshot 76, which he's still right
in the pack.
And then for whatever reason, helost it.

(05:39):
Like he lost the feel.
Um I mean, he was playing armygolf.
And he and he literally felt solost.
He told and he literally shot80-82.
Worst he's shot in probably fiveyears.
And uh I'm grateful for thisexperience as a dad to go
through with him because yeah,it sucks.
Um I always tell him, I said,whether you shoot 65 or 110, two

(06:03):
things I can guarantee you.
The sun's gonna come uptomorrow, and I'm gonna love you
more tomorrow.
That's guaranteed.
And I do do I think you're gonnago PGA tour, probably not, but
prove me wrong.
Prove me wrong.
Why not?
Why not you?
But the biggest thing is I justwant to make sure that he knows
is like you're not defined byeach round of golf.
And so just it's I'm gratefulfor this experience to go

(06:23):
through because sometimes Ithink when people see people on
social media or LinkedIn, it'slike, oh man, this guy's lucky,
but I I'm I'm just likeeverybody else.
I I'm a flawed dad.
I get free therapy from everyepisode, Derek.
And so it's like I thought I Iwanted to share that today
because it's like, yeah, that'sfirst world problem.
It's not like we have the plagueand we're losing our breath, but
like it's it's gonna be fun togo through and just watch how he

(06:44):
how he responds and yeah, putsome of the mental skills to the
test.
So I'm grateful for that.

SPEAKER_05 (06:49):
Great.
Well, but in his world, it it'sa massive problem, right?
And so you being and rightfullyso, it means that he cares,
which is great.
Um, you being there as asupportive and you know,
sounding bored and giving himthe perspective outside of his
day-to-day is massive.
Um, and golf is just such a sucha crazy game.

SPEAKER_03 (07:09):
It makes no sense.

SPEAKER_05 (07:11):
Hey, I I mean, do you all you gotta do, Casey, is
uh go show him Xander Shoffley'sscores over the last year since
winning two majors.
Okay, he just won the uh the uhBay Current tournament in Japan
this past weekend, his first winsince the open championship a
year ago, over a year ago.

(07:32):
And despite the fact thatXander, who is the third ranked
golfer in the world, um, despitethe fact that Xander still has
has kept his consecutive cutstreak alive through all of this
crap, uh, his bad, his poor playover the last year, I believe he
also shot 80 in the third roundof a tournament uh earlier this

(07:53):
year.
And so, like it is the craziestgame.
It really is.
And uh, and I I I'm right therewith you as as a as a parent.
I love that you're thankful foruh grateful for adversity today
because it is going to help yourson either with his golf or with
his life.
You know, he he may not see ittoday, but but but right and and
every bad round shapes him uh inways that he doesn't even

(08:15):
understand.
So I love that.

SPEAKER_01 (08:17):
Yep.
Well, cool, man.
Well, bring me inside.
You're you I know you're akicker, but you're gonna play
quarterback today.
Why was a kicker?
You're still a kicker, always akicker.
Yeah, um bring me inside theBelch Huddle.
I want to know.
I'd love to learn how you andyour wife met and then talk
about each member of the squad.

SPEAKER_05 (08:32):
Yeah, sure.
So I actually funny story on theon the kicker thing.
Um, so I uh I have a medicalcondition with my neck.
Um, I was born with a tumor, anduh I'm very lucky to be alive
today.
And so um, you can't, I looknormal, right?
So I had about a 50% chance, Ihad a tumor in the back of my
neck, had a 50% chance to live.

(08:53):
Uh and they they did thesurgery, you know, right when I
right when I came out of thewound, basically.
And then another after that,like another 50% chance to end
up looking normal because thedoctor said, hey, we pulled out
half the muscle and it'strapezius to that's where the
tumor was.
And he could end up, I'm no onecan see me, but I'm leaning to
the right.
He could end up like lookleaning to the right his whole

(09:15):
life.
Who knows?
And so I'm very fortunate thatuh my body compensated.
And you know, other than havingsome scar tissue back here in
the form of a littleindentation, um, I'm completely
normal.
I'm very inflexible.
That probably all stems fromthat.
That's an aside.
But I share that story becauseuh I was not allowed to play
football.
Um, I I kicking was all I coulddo because the doctors were too

(09:38):
nervous uh that like repeatedshoulder, head, and neck
contact, you know, could wouldbe risky for me.
Uh had I have played football,uh had I have been allowed to
play normal football, I wouldhave been a quarterback.
And uh flag football, you know,before high school, after high
school, you know, coaching mykids' teens, et cetera, like I'm
I'm you know, I'm a CEO,obviously.
So I have very much have thatquarterback mentality, and I

(10:01):
never really had the mentalityof a kicker.
So I I appreciate the thequestion.
Um okay, yeah, with withoutboring the audience uh too much.
So long story short, my wife andI celebrated our 11th uh wedding
anniversary this year, and umand uh we met in on Memorial Day
weekend 2009.
So that was you know over 16years ago.

(10:24):
And we actually went to the samehigh school, but we were a year
apart and did not really knoweach other.
I think we were in the same limofor a prom once, you know.
So we we knew each other'snames, but we didn't we never
said more than a couplesentences.
And uh I was walking into arestaurant with a friend and
cousin, my cousin.
She was walking out with hersister to go home.

(10:45):
We both literally bumped intoeach other going in and out of
the bathroom.
And one of my friends went hadknown her since elementary
school.
So it was kind of one of those,hey, how's it going?
I haven't seen you in a while.
You know, why don't you guysstay?
And you know, I don't drink, butyou know, have a drink, right?
Um, and so they end up staying.
And uh the rest is history.
And I I love I love to tellpeople she really fooled me

(11:07):
because I at the time, I'm 23,I've got big ambitions and
dreams.
And I, you know, I I tell herall there's loud music and
people and we're yelling at eachother.
And uh I tell her that I want tobe the GM of an NFL football
team.
Like, that's my that's what Iwant to do.
I'm working at Booz AllenHamilton at the time.
So, like, why am I not, youknow, working for the Chargers

(11:28):
or something?
That's an aside.
And she the way she responds,and we talk for the next 30
minutes about this.
I would have thought she waslike the biggest NFL fan on
planet earth.
Little do I know, she didn'teven know what a first down was
at the time.
So she did a did a great job offooling me.
Um, and uh, but yeah, like sothe rest is history went on a
date, you know, a week later,and then she actually went to

(11:50):
Ireland four months later tostudy abroad for grad school,
and we weren't together.
Then a week later, I said thatthis is stupid, we should be
together.
Um, and so you know, we we'vebasically been inseparable for
you know 16 years.
Um, so that that that's how wemet.
And uh as far as the huddle, notgonna lie, like, you know, she
it's she pretty much is thehuddle.

(12:12):
Uh and I've we've got threeboys, you know, 10, 7, and four.
Um, Ethan, Aiden, and Preston.
I'm sorry, Preston, Preston'sour oldest, uh, Aiden's our
middle one, and Ethan's ouryoungest.
And so that that is the huddleday in and day out.
Uh, you know, we live in SanDiego.
We're very, very fortunate tolive near cousins and her sister
and her dad and my parents allwithin five minutes.

(12:35):
So that's kind of our our that'skind of like the broader team.
And then for me personally, uh Ithink you've said this yourself
on some of your episodes, someof your guests have said this.
Um, you know, I don't reallyhave like one or two or three
mentors, like one person that Igo to for everything.
Like I go to certain people forcertain things.

(12:57):
Uh, I would say one of thebiggest people in my, you know,
in my corner and in my extendedhuddle is uh my executive coach
uh of eight years.
His uh you can appreciate thisbased on your line of work.
Um his name is Steve Shrek.
Um actually used to live in yourneck of the woods, used to work
at Microsoft many years ago uhup in Seattle, and now he
resides in the Bay Area.
He's he's been a phenomenalpartner professionally and

(13:19):
personally.
Our COO at Striver is my bestfriend since kindergarten.
Um his name's Michael, and youknow, we pretty much go to each
other for everything personallyand professionally.
Uh David Shaw, former Stanfordcoach now with the Lions, helped
get Striver off the ground.
And you know, I'll go to himfrom time to time uh once or
twice a year for to pick hisbrain on something leadership

(13:42):
related.
Um obviously I've got my mom anddad.
Um, so yeah, like there'sthere's I'd say there's a
handful, handful of folks, butuh we pretty much roll with
what's in this under this roofnine times, you know, nine times
out of ten with uh betweenAmelia, my wife, and and my
kids.

SPEAKER_01 (13:57):
So love it.
Take me back to what was lifelike growing up for you, Derek.
And I'd love to learn about thatjourney and the impact the mom
and dad had on you now thatyou're a dad.

SPEAKER_05 (14:08):
Sure.
So uh grew up in San Diego, youknow, current currently reside
here.
And um after uh a five yearstint at Stanford as an
undergrad, and then um, youknow, came back home for a few
years, then went to grad schoolat USC.
So I lived in LA for a coupleyears.
Uh, I like to tell people I Ibleed Cardinal, but I do not
sweat gold.

(14:28):
Uh I did, I just went there forthe degree.
I did not I did not root for theTrojans, despite the fact that I
am an alum.
Uh, then went back up to the BayArea for nine years, and the
first two of those were, as youmentioned, were actually on the
coaching staff at Stanford andthen left to start Striver,
which you know we may or may nottalk about later.
But as far as like growing up,um, you know, very, very

(14:49):
fortunate.
Uh, we were probably like middleclass, you know.
I don't know what the economicindicators are of you know of
what lower middle class, upmiddle class, upper middle class
are, certainly more than the 1%growing up, but grew up in
suburban San Diego, then CarnellValley, near near east side of
the freeway of Del Mar, but avery nice master plan community.

(15:10):
Um, didn't have a lot, but alsonever wanted for anything, kind
of one of those dynamics, right?
Like my parents were, they werenot a bottomless pit of money
and yeses.
Uh, as a matter of fact, moreno's than yeses if we asked for
things.
But anything that my brother andI actually really needed in life
from food, clothes, shelter tosports equipment, um, you know,

(15:32):
we we we had, right?
So so we it wasn't always thenicest of those things, but we
had what we needed, you know.
Um, but most importantly, and Ithink, you know, certainly and
as I look at, you know, how wemy wife and I parent today, and
how I I dad, my children andhusband, what you know, for that
matter, we did get a bottomlesspit of time and energy from from

(15:55):
my mom and dad.
Um, they're both collegeprofessors.
And uh my dad's my mom actuallyworked in corporate America for
several years and then you knowfell into uh professing, uh
college professoring um later.
But my dad like specificallypicked that profession coming
out of grad school because heknew that uh he would have

(16:19):
flexibility with you know familystuff as he looked out into the
future.
So my dad coached a lot of myteens growing up.
Um I don't know if if he evermissed a game.
I'm sure he missed some, youknow, once I got into high
school, but uh road games.
But um, you know, we we if weasked to go out to dinner with
friends after a game or youknow, after school or something,

(16:42):
hard no, nine times out of 10,no, we eat dinner together as a
family.
Um, and oh, by the way, likethat costs four times as much as
what we can make it for.
So um, so I I you'll I I don't Ididn't, I know I didn't
appreciate it at the time.
Uh funny story, I felt like wehad chicken ate 80% of our meals
growing up.
And guess what?
Here I am and as a parent of uhin 2025, and guess what?

(17:05):
We have for 80% of our mealschicken.

SPEAKER_01 (17:06):
The protein.

SPEAKER_05 (17:08):
Uh and so you know, I looking back, um what my
parents, the way that I was mybrother and I were raised,
specifically when it comes totime, was absolutely massive
relative to how I operate today.
And I and I I I didn't know itat the time.

(17:29):
Um, you know, pun pun notintended.
Um a lot of people, I'll closewith this.
A lot of I, you know, you hear alot about people that are busy
at work or you know, socially orwhatever, right?
Um when I'm when I'm with myfamily, I'm present.
And I I I agree with with that.
Like it we should be present,okay, as as often as possible.

(17:53):
But I also very strongly feel,Casey, that being super present
20% of the time is not goodenough.
Do you know what our kids needfrom us, especially when they're
really, really young?
They just need us around, right?
And um, I love what how BrockHeward finished his session with

(18:14):
you, you know, many, manyepisodes back.
Uh, he said it it's so easy tojust throw yourself into your
work, it's so easy to beselfish, so easy to again and to
put food on the table.
So I don't want to, I don't wantto diminish that by any means.
But you know it's a lot harderfiguring out how to do that
while also being present foryour your spouse and your
children.
And um my parents did that, youknow, in spades for us, and uh I

(18:39):
I didn't realize how valuablethat was until I became a parent
myself, and I just did thosethings innately.
And I looked at I look at someof my fellow friends and parents
that have told me they didn'thave that, and I can see it
clear as day.
So, and how they parent, youknow, so yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 (18:56):
What what type of um subjects did they teach?

SPEAKER_05 (19:00):
So my dad uh is coming up on, I think he's over
40 years now or kind of justbefore at San Diego State, all
in marketing.
Um, he transitioned fromundergraduates to graduates, you
know, about halfway through thatthat period, probably by design,
uh, but but marketing.
Uh, and then my mom, uh, shealso teaches marketing.
Uh, my dad actually started atextbook um in uh in the early

(19:26):
mid-90s that ended up becomingyou know the number one selling
textbook in its field.
Uh him and his brother wrote it.
It's called advertisingpromotion.
And so my mom, I think my momchose marketing because she's
like, I have I have the Bibleright here.
I'm just gonna I'm just gonnayou know go go with what I've uh
watched my husband do for thelast you know 20 years.
Um and so yeah, they they bothteach marketing.

SPEAKER_01 (19:48):
Very cool.
Um, when do you think it you youhad that aha moment um as a dad
or tipping point tipping pointas a dad where you're like, wow,
I had a pretty good growing up,man, and um and where you really
learned that.

SPEAKER_05 (20:02):
Oh man, that's a really that's a really good
question.
Um probably probably when myprobably when I started to coach
when my oldest son came of ageof coaching uh or of playing
organized sports, uh, and thisis what four or five soccer,
t-ball, whatever, whatever itwas.

(20:24):
Um when you when kids are young,like zero to one, they're in
what I I can't take credit forthis, but I've heard it before.
Uh, they're in the plant phase,right?
They kind of just like sit therelike plants, and and our primary
job as parents is to literallyjust keep them alive, water,
yeah, keep them alive uh andmake sure they don't tip over

(20:46):
and hit their head on something.
Plants will they'll spill theirsoil, like for us, make sure
they don't hit their head onsomething.
So um, and then as they thenthey're then they're mobile, and
now we're keeping them alive indifferent ways, and you know,
we're chasing them and makingsure they don't run across the
street and blah blah.
Um so probably when probablywhen they start when he and then
especially when our oldestpress, and then especially when

(21:08):
that now I have two, and now I'mcoaching two teams, probably
when when they start startedplaying sports, and the
unprompted compliments andobservations and compliments
started coming in from my ownparents to my extended family to
people I had never met beforeprior to you know coaching their

(21:31):
the their their friends' team,their friends being on the team
or whatnot.
And they started like mentioninga lot, like you know, I just
think this is so awesome whatyou're doing.
Like, man, you're an awesomedad.
Like you, wow, you're you'reyou're running a company, you're
you know, you're coaching ateam, you're coaching multiple
teams, you're you're havingpeople over for dinner all the
time.

(21:51):
Like, man, you're you're you'redoing you're really doing it
all.
And I'm not saying that in anarcissistic way, by the way.
Um I I I listening to all yourepisodes and and kind of getting
a feel for your style, I wrotedown a quote that I think is
super important.
Uh it's about humility.
I think humility is supermisunderstood.
Um, I I love this quote.
Originally it was C.S.

(22:12):
Lewis, and then the Harvardprofessor, deceit's professor
Clayton Christensen, kind ofexpanded on it in one of his
amazing essays.
Uh, it is humility is notthinking less of yourself, it's
thinking of yourself less often.
Okay.
And it's really like the mosthumble people actually are
sometimes have a very highopinion of themselves because
they're because they're reallyconfident they love themselves,

(22:33):
but their job is to build othersup and make others feel really
good about themselves too.
That is the definition ofhumility.
So I think like that's when ithit Casey was like, um, I'm
like, wow, why why why do peoplekeep mentioning this?
I'm just doing what I thought Iwas supposed to do, right?
Which is like be there for mykids, love my kids, coach their

(22:53):
teams, right?
Like find a way to balance it,you know.
Um, I just had someone lastweek.
Right now I'm coaching two flagfootball teams, two soccer
teams.
You know, we're going throughsome interesting stuff at work
uh that has us, uh has us, youknow, keeping us on our toes and
taking up a lot of time.
And someone just said the otherday, like, how do you how do you
do it all?
I'm like, what are you talkingabout?

(23:13):
He goes, Well, like you'recoaching four teams.
You told me about your workstuff, you're launching your
podcast, you find a way to playgolf.
And I'm like, I I guess, I guessI just like it does, it never
occurred, it didn't occur to meuntil right around that four,
five, six years old mark thatlike this is not normal.
Um, and so when that startedhappening, uh, that's when I

(23:36):
kind of got into that reallydeep reflection and appreciation
mode for my my parents.
And I thought to myself, wheredid that, where did this come
from?

SPEAKER_03 (23:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (23:45):
Oh yeah, that's what my dad did.
Oh yeah, that's what my mom did,right?
And so um I think that's that'sprobably the the shortest way I
can describe it.

SPEAKER_01 (23:55):
Love it, love it.
Um, talk to me about the top twoor three values that mama dad
taught you that you've nowpassed down to your boys, and
maybe if there's a story that umwould would further resonate how
those values were learned foryou.

SPEAKER_05 (24:09):
We we have a few, these aren't values.
Okay.
We'll we'll get we'll we we'realways preaching honesty and
integrity.
Um, you know, we're we go tochurch every Sunday, we read it,
read devotionals to our kidsevery night.
So like we're always looking toreinforce biblical principles.
Um, and so so we're those arekind of those are foundational

(24:29):
things for us.
Um honesty and integrity, sayingplease and thank you, respect.
Uh, every day when I drop mykids off, I I uh I uh tell them,
you know, be nice to your, be bekind to your teachers and
friends, right?
And I literally yell it out thewindow.
And I actually had a teacherstop me once.
Oh no, that just this year whenI met my my middle son, second

(24:51):
grade teacher, she said, I knowyou, you're the one that's
always telling Aiden to be kindto his teachers and friends.
Thank you for keeping continuingto do that.
So I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
So um, so so we we do that.
Uh we also have we have a agrowing list of we have a
growing list of of rules that uhwe're always reinforcing with

(25:15):
our kids, right?
Um uh and listen, I listen, I Iunderstand what I'm about to say
may be a little polarizing forsome people, and some of this is
just it's just personal and howwe do it, but it is what it is.
So insert your rules here.
Uh, but like these are ournon-negotiables, and some of
them are funny, but uh so nosmoking ever.

(25:36):
Uh right now, while they'reyoung, no alcohol, right?
No drugs and alcohol, right?
But I'm listening when they're21 and that's their decision.
But so we're always reinforcinglike what we put in our bodies,
right?
Um, this one might be polarizingfor some people.
I apologize uh because I canonly see your face if you have a
tattoo, but no tattoos, right?
That's just something that wetalk about.
Um, again, once they get older,it's it's their decision.

(25:57):
But like that's kind of whatwe've chosen to reinforce.
Um, respect the ocean.
Interesting, interesting one.
Uh, right, like look both waysbefore you cross the street.
So then there's some ones thatare just, but like, so we're
we're our our list, I thinkthere's like seven now that
we're constantly reinforcing.
And it it it isn't necessarilyabout like the thing, you know,

(26:19):
the the rule or the thing.
I think it's more of like,what's the culture we're trying
to trying to build here, right?
And so, like when they're young,the smoking drugs, alcohol
thing, right?
I realize that tattoos haveevolved over the years, and and
it again, it it is what it is ifthat's a decision they want to
make.
But it's more like therespecting your body theme and

(26:40):
value, right?
And what we put in our bodiesand on our bodies and whatnot.
Um, and so that's what we'retrying to reinforce, right?
Respect the ocean, look, lookboth ways before you cross.
So that's like, hey, I don'twant you to not be adventurous
in life, but like we also needto learn to respect things that
could kill us.
And let's not, let's not, youknow, my my dad growing up, he

(27:01):
didn't get mad about anythingother than driving, uh, driving,
because you could literally notsafely, because you could
literally kill someone with acar, and uh bats and golf clubs
and swinging them, you know,around others, like he would
lose his freaking mind, right?
So if anyone swung a bat withouta helmet on or like when someone
wasn't looking, so um those arejust some of the things that we

(27:22):
do in our home as far as likethings that we we preach and
reinforce.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (27:26):
I'm glad the rule eight wasn't and no handlebar
mustaches or out of felt reallyodd.

SPEAKER_05 (27:30):
We're good, you're good, yeah, yeah.
Who knows?
I mean, when they if they comehome with one, I might change my
mind when they're teenagers.

SPEAKER_01 (27:35):
I don't know, you know, but and just for the
audience, you might be like,what the hell is this guy
talking about?
Well, I I I have I used to havea beard and now I have a legit
handlebar mustache, and it's allfor good luck for the Seattle
Mariners.
I'm gonna throw it out universe.
When this episode goes live,maybe we're World Series champs
for the first time.
I don't know.
Let's let's hope.

SPEAKER_05 (27:50):
They're up 2-0 right now.
They're looking good.
They are, baby.

SPEAKER_01 (27:53):
Yeah, game we played a night at five.
Can't wait.
Yeah, what was the biggestmistake uh you've made as a kid
that you'll share with yourkids?

SPEAKER_05 (28:03):
Oh uh, how many, how many can I count?
You know, um, I've made agajillion mistakes.
Um so I'll share two.
Share two.
And and one comes back to thatparenting thing.
Uh, and and what what did I seeand what was reinforced uh to

(28:23):
me, and one and you know, one iswhen I was a young adult, uh,
but thematically similar.
So I was always a uh great butnot elite athlete growing up.
Uh football, soccer, baseball,you know, was never really good
at basketball, but those were mythose are my three sports, um,
golf on the side, but likeanything that I I gen anything

(28:46):
that involved a stick and balland some level of coordination,
I generally was able to pick uppretty quick and you know was
captain of teams, all-starteams, all that, you know, all
the way up through high school,three three sports in high
school.
But a a defining moment for mein my athletic career and
probably my life, was when I was13 years old, first league of

(29:06):
pony baseball, first year ofpony league baseball.
So the pony down here is isafter little league.
Um two years of that before youplay in high school.
And again, uh at this point inmy baseball life, I was a very,
very good little league player,probably great little league
player, but now I'm on theyounger end, so I'm just good
because I'm it's a 13,14-year-old league.

(29:28):
I'm 13, so I'm I'm good, but I'mnot great at this point.
I play short stuff.
And I I made four errors andstruck out two or three times in
one game.
And one of the errors was likeliterally V V play that lost the
game for the team.
Okay.
And I'm obviously distraught.
Uh and when I came home thatnight, um, I loved to play golf.

(29:52):
And you know, I told my parentsI was gonna go up to, you know,
hey, can someone take me toTorrey Pines so I can like go
play nine holes before the sunsets and blow off.
Steam and my mom not only didshe say no, but uh she was and
not only was she not uhempathetic and uh uh and
supportive of her grieving sonwho was in tears, you know, a

(30:16):
couple hours before after thegame, she freaking ripped me.
And I'll never forget, she said,Derek, you're not as good as you
think you are.
And let's look at what you'redoing, including after this type
of game wanting to go play golf.
Like, how is what you're doingmaking you better at baseball?

(30:38):
You say you want to be good,like you have been good, but
like that that it's not addingup, right?
And she just flat out ripped me.
And uh that was that was adefining moment in my athletic
career um at the tender age ofyou know 13.
The next year I hit 10 home runsin Pony League.

(30:59):
And I would, if there wasn't forone field not having a fence, I
probably would have hit 20 andset the record for the league.
And then I went on to you knowbe a really good high school
baseball player.
So that that was uh that was abig one.
And it wasn't like a mistake,like I did one thing wrong or I
put my hand in the cookie jarand I shouldn't have done that.
It was really like a body ofwork to that point.
Um and uh my mom and I stilltalk about that that story, you

(31:21):
know, that moment to this day.
And uh if and when I have to gothere with my children, I will,
I will go there.
Uh so so that that's that'sthat's one uh where I had
influence.
Um and then the second one, justlike you know, kind of knowing
it at the time and then lookingback, uh, I went to Stanford.
And so, you know, I not everyonethat goes to Stanford is smart,

(31:44):
but uh the world thinks you'resmart if you go there and you
have to have some baseline levelof intelligence and and academic
qualification.
So I I you know never got to bein high school and you know did
well enough in the SATs andother things to get into a
school like that.
So I guess I you know I was Iwas hardworking and smart enough
to get into that school.
Um, and then long story short,Casey, like I ended up like

(32:07):
barely getting a 3.0 in college.
And some of that was because Iplayed football for five years
and we lost a lot, and that wasa very dark time for Stanford 03
to 07.
I was the backup, and you know,I walked on, was the backup
kicker for three years, and thatwas really tough for me
emotionally.
And um, like there was just alot of negativity that that came

(32:28):
in through my uh due to myfootball experience.
And I've got a lot of friendsthat we, you know, team former
teammates that have that willtell you to this day, they felt
the same way with them, and thatreally negatively impacted their
their experience in their life.
But also, like whether it wasbecause of football or whether
this guy was just a kid beingyoung and dumb, and I don't have
mom and dad to help look over myshoulder and make sure that I'm

(32:49):
that I'm getting stuff done.
I mean, I'm playing video gameswith my friends, you know, I'm
playing online poker, we'redoing, you know, we're playing
poker in the lounge every night,you know, with with 20 of us.
Uh I I never, you know, I neverI've never really got into
drinking and never really wasinto partying.
I I didn't hardly ever stayed uppast midnight, even in college.
So like it wasn't like I was outjust totally acting

(33:11):
inappropriately and and like alot of kids do in college, and
that was leading to it, but butI wasn't focused, you know, like
and I I mean I literally Ifailed the class.
Like I actually got anincomplete innate psychology
class.
And it's like, what?
Like, this is the same kid thatnever got a B in high school,
you know, and and I I you know Ibarely get a 3-0 as an
undergrad.

(33:31):
And so that I realized thistowards the end of my senior
year when I was preparing to doa graduate year and having uh,
and then uh and while I wasplaying, and uh, and then also a
couple of years later, when itwas time to take the GMAT and
apply to business schools, I waslike, oh man, that that 3.0 GPA

(33:53):
isn't really helping me uh getinto Harvard or Northwestern or
Stanford or whatever.
And you know, USC is a greatbusiness school.
I'm so fortunate to get inthere.
But so like, so from the timethat I kind of realized this, my
senior year to of college tothen applying to business
schools, you know, very proud tosay I got, you know, I think I
had like a 385 or something, mymy fifth year at Stanford in

(34:16):
that one-year graduate program,and then as a as a as a uh MBA
candidate at USC, don't quote meon that, I forget the exact GPA,
but but much better and and backto being the kid in high school
that like you know never got aB, right?
And was super focused.
And so um those are two, thoseare two things that stand out to
me when you ask that question.

(34:37):
And my kids are not of age yetto where we we you know they
they can even appreciate that.
But uh it shows up in subtleways when we help them with
their homework and you know,just make sure that they're
doing their reading.
Or, oh, you want to you say youwant to be a professional
baseball player when you growup?
You know, you better hit off theT for 20 minutes every day.
Like that, even though you'reseven, like that's what it
takes.
You know, you got to at leaststart to learn to put the work

(34:58):
in.

SPEAKER_00 (34:59):
So here you go.
Hello, everybody.
My name's Craig Co., and I'm thesenior vice president of
relationship management forBeeline.
For more than 20 years, we'vebeen helping Fortune 1000
companies drive a competitiveadvantage with their external
workforce.
In fact, Beeline's history offirst-to-market innovations has
become today's industrystandards.

(35:20):
I get asked all the time, uh,what did Casey do for your
organization?
And I say this, it's simple.
The guy flat out gets it,relationships matter.
His down-to-earth presentation,his real-world experience apply
to every area of our business.
In fact, his book, Win theRelationship and Not the Deal,
has become required reading forall new members of the Global

(35:42):
Relationship Management Team.
If you'd like to know more aboutme or about Beeline, please
reach out to me on LinkedIn.
And if you don't know CaseyJacks, go to case jaycox.com and
learn more about how he can helpyour organization.
Now, let's get back to today'sepisode.

SPEAKER_01 (36:00):
What would be an area of your dad game that in
the in the early phases, you gotstill plenty of road left, but
like what's an area of your dadgame that um sometimes you know
isn't the best, you know, forthat and is an area that might
that might speak to a dad athome, like, man, I'm struggling
with patience, or I'm strugglingwith this, or I'm struggling
with that.
What's an area of your dad gamethat sometimes is a challenge

(36:22):
for you that that's somethingthat you know you're working on
that might kind of speak toother dads at home?

SPEAKER_05 (36:26):
This is an easy one.
Uh I I I can I can lose mytemper and my voice can get
loud, maybe even a four-letterword with my oldest um very uh
very easily.
Um and you know, you know.
A, I am just a very energetic,emotional person.

(36:47):
So, and this has been somethingthat I've been working on in
life for 20 years.
Um, and uh very thankful for myexecutive coach who's helped me
grow a lot in this area.
It's helped translate to my golfgame, you know, stuff at work,
etc.
Um, I'm not a yeller and ascreamer like date at work at
all.
Um, or or when I coach theteams, and uh, but something

(37:08):
about like being in these fourwalls uh with you know my kids
uh and even my wife for thatmatter, like, and listen, I
don't, I'm not a I'm thisthere's no physical
altercations.
It's not it's not that thisisn't like uh we need to call
the uh what what what's thewhat's the what's the yeah we
don't we're not talking aboutthat but but I can uh I can lose
I can lose my temper.

(37:28):
I think that's something that wecan all relate to.
Um and uh and and also I I thinkI one of the A, I think it's
just like what however yourmaybe your personality is, B, I
think it also like I think forus as parents, one thing that we
probably all struggle with isour expectations of our
children, right?
Like we just think to ourselves,how can you not see that?

(37:50):
How can you not do that?
Why why are they doing that?
This is so obvious.
And we have to remind ourselveslike they're about four or six
or eight or ten, they're not us,you know.
So um, so that that that is athat's a big one for me for
sure, and and proud to say thatI am improving.
Um, I actually heard somethingon another podcast many, you
know, many months ago, or maybeit was last year, um, that uh,

(38:13):
and this is something that I washave been doing for a while and
in work and uh something that uhI heard that if if you do find
yourself in that situation, themost important thing to do when
they storm off or you know, andthat or they ignore you, or
later when things have calmeddown, is you gotta own it.
And and uh even even if maybeyour child was in the wrong that

(38:36):
made you go there, right?
Because we all know how kids canpush our buttons.
Yeah, um, you you you go getdown eye to eye, face to face,
or you know, you hold them, holdthem tightly with their
shoulders, or you hug them orwhatever, and you genuinely
apologize and you acknowledge,you tell them exactly what you
did, and you say, I'm reallysorry.
Um, I shouldn't have acted thatway, and I shouldn't have said

(38:59):
that.
Um and you you don't startjustifying, like because when
you do this, it makes me no, no,no, like they you can deal with
that later, right?
But in that moment, um, you ownwhat you did, you let them know
that you that it was wrong andthat you know it was wrong and
that you're gonna be bettergoing forward.

SPEAKER_01 (39:20):
Love it.
Um spot on it's uh I thinkepisode nine.
Episode nine or ten, my buddyDarren Ballmores.
We did an episode just on thepower of apologizing.
Yeah.
Uh the male ego is a dangerousthing.
And uh I think at the rample ageof almost 50, the core values
that drive me are being humble,being vulnerable, being humble,
being vulnerable, and beingcurious.

(39:41):
And I'm always looking to infusethose into my own home, and in
myself, into the companies Iconsult with because they're
superpowers, I believe.
And I'm not saying I'm right, Ijust believe that's my my
experience of life shows methey're superpowers of and they
create great relationships,create great environments, they
help remove fear.
And why would we want to do thatin my mind?
But it's like um I want to learnreal quick, Casey.

SPEAKER_05 (40:06):
Vulnerability that word is just so important.
Vulnerability.
I mean, I that that's one of myfavorite words.
Um, and again, I think it's amisunderstood word.
Like a lot of people think it'sweakness.
No, it's strength.

SPEAKER_01 (40:20):
100%.

SPEAKER_05 (40:21):
And I and I think as parents, like we can even do uh
we can do little things withthat.
Um I do this with myfour-year-old.
Like, use your words, buddy,right?
Like if he's if he's upset orhe's crying about something, or
maybe he stubbed his toe or hesays something hurts and he's
just losing his mind.
I even, you know, obviously the10-year-old's a little a little

(40:43):
more emotionally mature, theseven-year-old somewhere in
between.
I'm always asked, use yourwords, right?
Like, tell me what's wrong,right?
Um, and that is a form ofvulnerability, right?
And hopefully that's somethingthat they're gonna continue to
improve in moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 (40:58):
So yes, too many, too often people don't realize
that like like um when you youknow in the work world, when I
work with executives or when Iwork or them as dads, when you
can tell your kids, because Ithink our kids think they see
mom and dad, like, oh you guysare perfect, you never you don't
go through tough times.
I'm like, BS.
Like, and you know, I that's whythe more I can tell my son or

(41:20):
daughter where I sucked or whereI failed, or when I didn't this
didn't happen for me, or when Istruggled as a even with the
golf thing.
I I remember like my son talkedyesterday, I said, Don't forget,
bud, in college, dad threw fourpicks in the first half, almost
got pulled his junior year.
Now, thank God I pulled my headout of my ass and played great
in the second half, and thatnever happened again.
But like I I was so prepared,but four picks?

(41:43):
Like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_03 (41:45):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (41:46):
It was like, am I blind?
Am I is my dad's Davy Wonder?
Like, how do you throw fourpicks?

SPEAKER_05 (41:50):
I I can I can one up that.
Uh, I see so you you mentionedsome positive accolades from my
Stanford kicking days.
Uh later that season, this is myfifth season, fifth year.
Uh, so this is it, second tolast game of my my career.
Um, Jim Harbaugh, it's his firstseason at Stanford, and you
know, I was part of therebuilding of that, which is
awesome.
So I go from making two 50-yardfield goals in the first half uh

(42:13):
earlier in the year, which iswas the Stanford record at the
time.
Then I kicked the game winningextra point against USC when we
were 43-point underdogs, right,with 30 seconds left.
So I'm like as high as a kite,right?
Uh, and then the second to lastgame at home on national
television against Notre Dame, Igo 0 for 4.
I miss four field goals in onegame.
Um, and uh, and we ended uplosing by six.

(42:35):
So, like, I I pretty much lostthe game for the team, no matter
what the coach speak is of that.
So, um, among the other badthings that happened in that
game.
But uh guess what?
I I have the DVD copy of thatgame, and we watched it as a
family uh about six months ago.
Uh we had to fight a DVD playersomewhere.
I don't know if they even exist.

(42:55):
So yeah, like I think you'respot on.
I mean, listen, our to our ourwe are our hero, we are heroes
to our children and we areinfallible, right?
Um, for the most part.
And so I think like showingliterally, I literally showed my
kids, and we all laughed, youknow, we laughed about it, and
you know, they looked at me andI kind of just hung my head,
partly as a joke, partly, partlybecause I still carry shame from

(43:16):
that.
Oh shit.
18 years later.
Um I get it.
Yeah, uh, but like that, I thinkthat's super important, like
showing your kids that you canfail.
You know, a couple couple yearsago, I'm I'm in the midst of
making taking lessons for thefirst time in my life in golf,
and I'm playing in the USamateur qualifier, and it's a
36-hole event.
Um, they don't now it's 18 and18, but it used to be one day 36

(43:38):
holes.
And uh I was in the middle ofhaving the shanks for three
months as I'm working my waythrough these lessons.
And uh I actually I quit.
I quit after 27 holes.
I walked off the golf coursebecause I had the shanks, you
know, I had three or four, threeor four shanks.
Uh yeah, it's okay, it's allgood.
But but more but moreimportantly, Casey, uh there's a
kid in my group, kid named TommyMorrison, who's now a senior at

(44:01):
Texas, and he's he's gonna be onthe tour in a few years in a
couple years' time, probably.
And uh he was in contention.
So, so part of it was my ownperformance.
And like, I'm like, dude, I justcan't keep doing this.
My cousin was catting for me,and you know, I went up to him,
I'm like, I can't, like, I don'tknow where the ball's going.
Like, there's this is a safetyissue.
It's embarrassing.

(44:21):
But but also like this guy, heended up making it, and he's
like, I'm looking at theleaderboard, you know, on my
phone, because we do the, youknow, you do live scoring.
I'm like, this kid is in, he isleading this right now.
I can't do this to him.
So I walked up to him and Isaid, hey guys, like I'm I'm
gonna I'm gonna bow out.
Um, it was after the 27th holebefore we made the turn.

(44:41):
Um, I'm like, Tommy, I can't dothis to you, right?
And you're in contention.
And man, that so like, so Casey,like let's just be let's just be
really clear about something.
And I'm connecting this back tothe parenting thing.
Um I quit.
I quit.
And I had to come home.
And my my wife loves to make funof me when she watches me, she
follows me on the leaderboardand all these qualifiers I do.

(45:03):
She says, Oh, I had to scroll tothe bottom again, you know, and
it's it's improved a lot sinceI've I've had a good year this
year with tournaments.
But uh, so she not only did shehave to scroll to the bottom,
she had to go all the way to thebottom and see, you know, DNF or
whatever WD.
And so, like, my my oldest atthe time, he's seven, and he's
getting smart, and he's like,Dad, what happened?

(45:24):
To this day, he still will bringup that I quit in that
tournament.
And I and I say, Yeah, buddy,and I I I should not have done
that.
Um, let me tell you why, and letme tell you how I've bounced
back since, right?
And so, yeah, like that.
I just think like owning stuffto our kids is is super
important, super important.

SPEAKER_01 (45:42):
But I also think there's humility in what you
did, though, and vulnerabilitywhat you did, because it's like,
and I think it shows that'sleadership story too, where you
could say, I mean, if I'mleading and the guy's freaking
hitting off the hazel left andright, and you're you know it's
uncomfortable.
Well, and everybody gets theshanks once in a while.
And my son actually had threeshanks, he's like, Oh my god.
And people say, I don't know ifyou've heard this, but like it's

(46:03):
like a millimeter from justflushing it.

SPEAKER_04 (46:06):
Closest thing to a perfect golf shot.

SPEAKER_01 (46:08):
Yeah.
And for everybody doesn't know,the shank is off the shaft.
Yeah, it's the bottom thing,it's called the hossle, and the
ball will go literally deadright and literally almost kill
people.
It is, and it feels it's theworst feeling shot, and it'll it
comes out of nowhere.
And then it just mentally willgive you nightmares for 75

(46:28):
years.
Yeah, I didn't for I had themfor six months one day.

SPEAKER_05 (46:31):
Yeah, I I I had it for a good three months.
Yeah, luckily now I know how tofix it.
So, like if I get it on therange, I just kind of move on.

SPEAKER_01 (46:37):
But yeah, what do you what for me?
I just stand a little bitfurther back from the ball.
What do you do?

SPEAKER_05 (46:42):
Uh you're supposed to try to hit it off the toe.
So actually backing up is it'sone way to do it, I guess.
But like from a swing path,etc., and wait, weight
perspective, like you'resupposed to try to hit the ball
off the toe, and you won't.
You'll you'll end up hitting itin the center.
Uh so that that is the fix.
Um now I realize that's harderfor some people than others, but

(47:04):
yeah, we can we can talk aboutthat later.

SPEAKER_01 (47:06):
Wow.
Um talk to me about how did youuh decide to start a company?

SPEAKER_05 (47:13):
Yes.
So um I so I'm I'm in, I thinkyou'll appreciate this from one
entrepreneur to another.
So I'm in I'm in businessschool.
So let's go back.
I'll try to make this quick.
Uh I started my job at BoozAllen October 20th, 2008.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (47:31):
Great time.

SPEAKER_05 (47:32):
Great time.
Uh I realized within one weekthat this was not the right fit
for me, that big companycorporate America was not the
right fit for me.
Um now, if I now that I'm 40 andI've got 20 years of
perspective, I certainly canfunction in corporate America
just fine.
Um, so I'm not totally anti.
We sell into corporate America,so I'm not totally anti-big
companies.
But uh, as you just alluded to,what happened the next week?

(47:56):
The stock market went down, youknow, thousands of points, and
like there's nowhere to go,right?
Financial crisis just kicks off.
So I hunker down for a few yearsand kind of grin and bear it.
Um, but in the background, Istart getting a feel on nights
and weekends, moonlighting,right?
Me and a friend, ironically, theguy that I walked into that
restaurant with when I met mywife, um, we start like doing

(48:18):
some entrepreneurial things, youknow, in the background.
So I get they all failed, butyou know, tried to launch a
website or writing movie scriptsand TV shows and going up to
Hollywood, you know, among abunch of other things.
And uh they all failed.
So when I'm in business school,I kind of am focusing on like
this entrepreneurial path.
Well, partly out of likeexistential, what should I be
doing with my life, partly outof like, you know, I was taking

(48:41):
those aptitude tests and lots ofthings we do in organizational
behavior and whatnot.
Um, partly out of like all myfriends are going to resume
nights and interview nights atbig companies.
I'm like, I don't want to dothat, right?
I I this thought keeps comingback to me while I'm sitting in
class, and that is, I keptthinking about how it would
apply all of these principles ofleadership and OB and you know,

(49:05):
running a company and finance,all this stuff to sports.
And like back to those the GM,you know, uh days and uh running
how would I how would I applythis to like running a football
team?
And so like I kept getting in myhead, like, damn, if I don't,
and then all every aptitude testsince I've been old enough to

(49:26):
think has been like you shouldbe a leader, a coach, a
politician, a teacher, right?
Like the themes of leadership.
I was senior class president,like they kept circling.
So basically, I decided if Idon't see coaching before I turn
30, I'm gonna regret it forever.
So I accelerated my MBA.
I went back to Stanford and Iwas a graduate assistant on the

(49:48):
staff for two years.
And uh, because I was in grad, Ididn't need another degree at
the time, but that's the onlyway to get the job.
I got into another grad program.
Because I was a grad studentwhile also being a coach, uh, I
had to do a thesis.
And my thesis was to come upwith a way to train our
quarterback using virtualreality.
This was right around uh2013-14.
Facebook bought Oculus for like$2 billion.

(50:10):
The cheaper, lighter, faster eraVR has kicked off, you know,
after two decades of starts andstops.
And so my professor advisor andI were like, maybe we should try
this.
I run it by David Shaw.
He's like, I'm all in, I'llsupport you in any way to get an
A on your project.
Maybe it'll help the team.
Long story short, we make buildthis really cool prototype.

(50:33):
I get an A on the project.
Uh, I meet with David Shaw inDecember of 2014 during bowl
prep.
This is a little more low-key ofa time for those that have been
in college football.
Um, I mean, you're practicing,you know, you get your 15
practices, but it's not theweek-to-week grind like you have
during the season.
So I sat down with Dave uh forlike 10 minutes after practice

(50:54):
one night, and I said, Hey, likemy time is up here in three
weeks.
You know, I'm done with theprogram.
And like, how am I doing?
You know, should I is there aspot for me on the staff?
Like, give me some advice.
And he goes, uh, you've cussedbefore on this podcast, so I'll
say one swear word and you canedit it out if you want.
He goes, You want the nobullshit answer?

(51:16):
I'm like, Yeah, of course.
He goes, You you're a reallygood coach and you could be an
awesome coach if you wanted to.
Um, but you know what it's gonnatake to you know, bouncing
around and blah, blah, blah,it's not gonna happen overnight.
Um, so if you wanted to be in myshoes 10 to 15 years from now,
you totally could do that.
But if I were you, uh, I toldyou you were too smart to be a

(51:37):
football coach when you came inhere.
Um, and now I feel that way evenmore.
If I were you, I would go, Iwould go put every ounce of my
energy into that thing that youbuilt.
Because I think that could be agame changer, and you have a
two-year head start overeverybody else.
And I would love to invest ifyou'd be willing to take my
money.
So I'm like, no one can see thisright now, but I just like, you
know, I'm I just faint jumpingout of my chair.

(51:58):
I'm like, oh my God, that wasnot what I was expecting in this
conversation.
Um, and so in closing, to yourthe answer to your question,
that was a that was one of thesingle most defining moments in
my life outside of some stuff inmy marriage and you know, having
children, uh, deciding to, youknow, propose and even things
before that and having kids.

(52:20):
But because it I went tobusiness school or I went to
that graduate program and I wentto coach for two years, much to
the chagrin of my parents, bythe way, who had just written a
lot of another check for moreeducation for Derek.
And they were like, What?
You're gonna go be a footballcoach?
Like, no way, that's not what wesent you to Stanford and USC
for.
And I and I I I told them, heyguys, like I'm gonna do this

(52:44):
project while I'm coaching.
Worst case scenario, I don'tlike coaching, or like, and I'm
back in the Stanford network.
Who knows what this projectcould lead to?
So, like, I went in with that inthe back of my mind while
putting every ounce of my timeand energy into coaching.
So when David sat me down andsaid that to me, I was like,
holy crap, this is a sign.

(53:04):
Like, and this is like this islike the marriage of
entrepreneurship, sports,technology, Stanford.
Like, I went home and talked toAmelia and I was like, I if I
don't do this now, like when amI gonna do something like this?
You know, and so that was how itall, how it all started.
And I uh January 2nd, 2015.
We played our bowl game on uhDecember 27th.

(53:26):
I knew I was gonna be done, tookit took a week off and got to
work uh a couple days later,once the new year turned.

SPEAKER_01 (53:34):
So how can people learn more about your company
and what you guys are doing?

SPEAKER_05 (53:39):
Uh so our website is www.striver.com, s t-r-i-v.
Um, we have been for the last 10plus years, we've been using
virtual reality to trainemployees, whether you're an
athlete or whether you'reworking for Walmart or Bank of
America or Amazon.
Um, we're actually, we'verecently launched a new product

(53:59):
that's more of like uh aimed atwhere augmented reality is going
and like AI video, that's alsoon the website.
So um, you know, jump in, jumpin there and uh have fun if
you're if you work for a largeorganization that would like to
leverage technology to make yourworkforce better.

SPEAKER_01 (54:15):
And if they want to reach you to learn more about
this, they want to, they'relike, man, I'm kind of I'm
intrigued by this dude.
I like his energy.
How do they find you?

SPEAKER_05 (54:22):
Yeah, uh well, I'm uh you can just email the
website and and I I seeeverything.
We're s we're even though 10years later, we're still a
startup.
So I see everything.
Um and then you mentioned thisearlier.
I I launched a podcast uhearlier this year called The
Golfing CEO, which is theintersection of golf business
and life.
You're gonna be on that podcastprobably sooner than uh maybe

(54:42):
right around the time this oneairs, we'll we'll be launching
that one as well.
So um that's a much more that'sa much easier way to get to me.
Info at thegolfing CEO.com.
Just shoot an email and off wego.

SPEAKER_01 (54:53):
So what made you want to start the podcast?

SPEAKER_05 (54:56):
Um part existential thoughts, you know, leading up
to my 40th birthday.
Um, and uh, you know, part, hey,maybe I I'm I'm putting a lot of
time and energy into thestartup, into my golf game, into
you know, parenting.
Like a lot of people writebooks, you know, five, 10, 20
years after the fact.

(55:17):
Podcasts are kind of a cool wayof just like writing that book
in real time.
So why don't I just likedocument this and chronicle
this?
You know, um, I'm also extremelypassionate about the game,
Borderline Psychotic.
Uh and I know that there's a lotof us out there uh as well that
are in leadership roles, uh, youknow, that are in uh

(55:37):
entertainment, athletics, etc.
We've been very fortunate to getsome amazing guests so far.
Um, we've got uh LarryFitzgerald's gonna be released
in a couple weeks, which issuper cool.
Um, we've had Chad Mum, uh,who's behind the full swing
documentary.
We're gonna get some otherbig-time C-sueters coming up uh
in the corporate world.
So it kind of all just cametogether, Casey.

(55:58):
I was like, you know what?
I should document this journeythat I am doing to try to, you
mentioned this at the top of theshow.
I am not trying to qualify forthe senior tour.
I I've just turned 40.
I got 10 years of good golf inme, probably, to try to Monday
qualify into a PJ tour event.
Okay, that is the goal.
Um, and so I'm documenting that.
I'm documenting, I'm documentingthe equally improbable startup

(56:20):
journey towards an exit or anIPO or something.
And along the way, we're talkingto amazing people like yourself
that love the game and also, youknow, are are CEOs of of their
own brand or CEOs of theircompany or whatever it is.
And uh it's been super fun sofar and can't wait to keep
going.

SPEAKER_01 (56:36):
So how many Monday qualifiers have you played in so
far?

SPEAKER_05 (56:39):
Uh, well, Casey, zero actual Monday qualifiers
because if you were like me andyou have no status anywhere, you
can't just go into the Mondayqualifier.

unknown (56:50):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (56:51):
So I have to play in Monday pre-qualifiers.
So there's this whole world ofuh of you know professional golf
and all the mini tours andstuff.
I'm not trying to be a progolfer, right?
I'm trying to have these coupleone-off accomplishments in my
life.
Um, so I've played in fourMonday pre-qualifiers, including
one coming up in two weeks.
Um, the closest I've done, Ithink I shot two over in one of

(57:14):
them and two under made it.
Um, and that was when I wasn'tas good as I am today.
That was that was two years ago.
So uh very much looking forwardto to you know what's coming up.
And uh to your point, like as itrelates to the show and my
podcast and how I'm gonna tellthis story, I can't do one or
two of these a year.
I I actually need to do like, Ithink there's like 12 next year

(57:37):
that are possible.
I need to find a way to play inat least eight of them, right?
And and now what's that gonnatake relative to my time and
energy with work, withparenting, with husbanding?
Am I flying to Mississippi to doa Monday pre-quall?
Again, I gotta draw the linesomewhere, right?
So that's so so we'll we'llfocus on uh we'll focus on the
West Coast ones next year andthen we'll see what happens

(57:58):
after that.

SPEAKER_01 (57:58):
So cool.
Well, yeah, it'll be fun towatch your journey, and then
when I see you uh, you know, atPebble or I see you at uh
Riviera, I'm like, that's a dudewho was on my podcast.

SPEAKER_05 (58:10):
There we go, hopefully.
Well, the Torre Pines events inmy backyard.
So that that's the that'd be thebig one, and we can, yeah, that
that's a true open uh farmersinsurance open.
The other ones are a littletricky, but uh that there's also
like the U.S.
amateur and mid-amateur, there'sbig-time amateur events that you
know, if you do really well onthose, plus you tie that to like
maybe some stuff you're doingprofessionally, maybe sponsors

(58:32):
notice you and they would throwyou, you know, give you a
sponsor's invite or something.
We've seen that with you knowvery big name people like Steph
Curry and Tony Romo and others.
So, you know, who knows?
There's a lot of ways you canget.
Yeah, but you know, the thenumber one thing I love about
golf is uh it's the ultimatemeritocracy.
The scorecard does not care whoyou are, doesn't care how tall
you are, how short you are,whether you're a pro golfer,

(58:53):
whether you're a pro basketballplayer, whether you're a
husband, dad, CEO, doesn't carewhether you're 15 or 35, 55,
doesn't care.
If you can shoot the score,you're in.
It's that simple.
And uh I love that about thegame.
And I'm gonna I'm gonna do mybest relative to other day,
candidly, other more importantday-to-day responsibilities at

(59:16):
home and at work.

SPEAKER_01 (59:17):
And uh, but that's all right.
That's okay.
Love it.
Um, all right, Derek, it's nowtime to go on what I call the
lightning round where I show youthe negative hits of taking too
many hits in college, not bonghits, but football hits.
And your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can.
My job is to hopefully get agiggle out of you.

SPEAKER_05 (59:35):
All right.

SPEAKER_01 (59:35):
Are you ready?

SPEAKER_05 (59:36):
I've been ready.
I've been listening to some ofthese, so uh I'm excited to see
what you teach.

SPEAKER_01 (59:40):
I got no prop.
This is just this is just thewittiness of a uh D2 quarterback
coming out you love it.
Okay, you if I if if there was atrivia question about Stanford
kickers, you were known as theRay Finkel of Stanford.
Is that a true or falsequestion?

SPEAKER_05 (59:55):
Oh man, it's been so long since I've seen that movie.
Uh, probably true.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:00):
Yeah, probably true.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:01):
He missed kicks, right?
So probably true.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:03):
No, but you made some too.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:05):
I made more than I missed, but not many.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:06):
So probably true.
Favorite Stanford quarterback ofall time is well, one of my best
friends is Trent Edwards, who Iplayed with.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:16):
So that's that's an easy one.
But man, you gotta love watchingwhat Andrew Luck did when he was
there.
And you know, he's he's puttingthe program on his back to
revitalize it.
I just saw him a couple monthsago, and he's he's he's gonna
he's gonna do a great job.
So a 1A and 1B.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:31):
What about what about Jimmy Plunkett?

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:33):
Doesn't he have to I was I wasn't even alive at the
time, so I I can't.
I mean, Plunkett, John Elway,Steve Stenstrom.
I mean, there have been someawesome uh John Lynch actually
is a Torrey Pines High Schoolalum where I went.
I know John, he's he's awesome.
He went in as a quarterback andthen they transitioned into
safety.
There have been some damn goodquarterbacks that have come out
of Stanford.
Yeah, but many of them werebefore my time.

(01:00:53):
So Trent's one of my bestfriends, I'd get in big trouble
if I didn't say that.
And and uh Andrew, you know,Andrew obviously was just an
absolute stud and he's a he's agreat guy.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:01):
So if uh if I went into your phone and and and
listened to uh to like the lastcouple songs played, what what
what might surprise what mightsurprise me?

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:13):
I am I am such a uh teeny bopper.
So I I mean I I think 80% of thesongs I listen to are OG Taylor
Swift.
Okay, there we go.
Yeah, her first four albums,like I I don't get sick of any
of those songs.
Um, and then the extension offof those are uh uh I like a lot
of I mean listen, I grew upBackstreet Boys, Britney Spears,

(01:01:36):
Christine Aguilera.
So those all those, all of thoseand other like similar poppy and
Dua Lipa today and ArianaGrande.
I I can't get enough of thatmusic, which probably surprises
a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:49):
Love it, man.
Uh, if I came to your house fordinner tonight, what would we
have?

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:53):
What did I say earlier?
Probably chicken.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:55):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:56):
What are we gonna have?
Breaded chicken, barbecuedchicken, uh married meat
chicken, chicken parmesan.
Good chance.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:04):
Yeah, good chance we're gonna have something
chicken related.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:07):
Okay, you and the wife are going on vacation.
Sorry, kids, you're stayinghome.
Where are you taking her?

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:12):
Uh, funny story, we tried to do this a year ago to
celebrate our 10th weddinganniversary, and and uh we went
just up to Dana Point.
Uh, we had a free night at theRitz-Carlton, and uh we were
supposed to come home at 5 p.m.
the next day.
And we I think we came home at11 a.m.
because we we couldn't couldn'tresist.
We we we we missed our kids.
It's sad, actually.

(01:02:34):
It's sad.
Um so sad.
So the answer to that, Casey, isI don't know.
But uh, but but but we do have avery strong if if uh we do have
a very strong affinity forIreland.
Um we've gone three times as afamily, and um, so I think if I
think if we just had carteblanche and we knew we were
gonna get to and from safely,and we knew our kids were gonna
you know still be alive when wecame home uh and grandma and

(01:02:56):
grandpa wouldn't mess somethingup.
Uh I think we would go toIreland for a week together and
I would go play golf and shewould do whatever, and then we
would, you know, we'd we'd mixand match everything.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:06):
So love it.
If there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell me
the title.
I've I've been thinking aboutthis one.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:14):
Um probably misunderstood.
A lot of a lot of your viewers,a lot of your, I guess, have
been saying one word title.
So I was trying to think ofsomething different, but uh
probably misunderstood.
Um I like that one.
Yeah, I'm uh I I I I have aloud, deep, monotone voice.

(01:03:36):
Um, and I I you know uh I'm veryserious.
I I take things very seriously,but I don't take life seriously,
and I think that's oftenmisunderstood, you know.
Um like when I coach the kids'teams, I'm I take the coaching
very seriously.
Uh uh, but I don't take I don'ttake the outcome of the games

(01:03:58):
seriously.
To me, the outcome is did theyget better, did they have fun?
Are they, you know, are are theyare we improving throughout the
year?
Um do they want to come back thenext week, the next season?
And unfortunately, I I don'tthink a lot of uh youth sports
coaches and parents uh look atit that way.
And so probably misunderstood,because because what what you
see on the surface uh isn'talways what's what's going on

(01:04:21):
below the surface.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:22):
So love that, ma'am.
Okay, so now we we can't wecan't keep enough copies.
You mentioned Amazon, they'reprinting them left and right.
Um uh Barnes Noble, they're soldout.
Everyone's sold out.
Airports can't find them there.
So we're gonna make a movie outof this bad boy.
Um Netflix and Hulu, they're allfighting for it.
You're now the casting director,and I need to know who's gonna
star you in this criticallyacclaimed Hit New movie.

(01:04:45):
I've thinking about this onetoo.

SPEAKER_05 (01:04:46):
I don't have a good answer.
Uh growing up, growing up, Iwould have said Tom Cruise
because I liked, I liked or TomCruise looked to you.
Maybe yeah, but he's like crazy.
I mean, I I we I think the thethe older I get and the more I
you know see all thesecelebrities in the news and
Scientology and more the morethe the old the rose colored
glasses come off, right?
So I'm like, I don't know.

(01:05:07):
But that's who I was a big fanof him growing up, uh and a big
Pierce Brosnan fan because Iloved the loved all the James
Bond movies.
But probably uh that's who Iwould have said growing up.
Today, I don't know, JohnCusack, maybe he's got he's got
good hair.
I've I've got I've got a goodhead of hair.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:28):
Love it.
That's a good answer.
I like who I'm a big Cusack guy.
Um okay, and then last and mostimportant question tell me two
words that would describe yourwife.
Amazing.

SPEAKER_05 (01:05:38):
Just just such an amazing human being.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:43):
Hyphenated, amazing human being.
There we go.

SPEAKER_05 (01:05:46):
No, that's not the word.
The word is amazing, just in allfacets.
I mean, she she truly is mybetter half.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:53):
And then uh the second word is sane.
She's just like no stress.
She's just sane.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:05):
Like her sanity was what attracted me to her.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:08):
I'm like that's a good one.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:09):
Like, I I could just tell within within on our first
date, I could tell this woman isis marriage material and mother
material.
And she is no drama, no frills,low stress, like our like it's
just it's eat listen, we're notwe're not a perfect couple, no
one is, right?
We have our fair share of uhfair share of things that we

(01:06:31):
argue about or you know can'tsomehow you know get over the
hump on together, but like ourmarriage is not hard.
And it's because of she's justlike sane, she's just sane.

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:44):
I don't know how else to say it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:46):
No, that's it's a good one, man.
As you said that, I mean it'sjust it's like when when you're
around people who are like that,they they bring the stress level
down and it calms you.
It's a it's like the flightattendant that looks calm when
you're going through turbulence.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:59):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:00):
So uh lightning rounds complete.
Um, fantastic conversation, man.
I'm so grateful that you tooktime out of your day to spend
with us.
I'm so grateful for that I ranacross Michael Leonard.
I never haven't met him yet, butmy son has.
My son played in an event withhim, which that was the coolest
story ever.
Um, I'm a big fan of hispodcast, and I'm gonna uh I love

(01:07:21):
what you're doing.
I think there's so much cool umcontent that you're gonna put
out there for people to uhlisten to.
Um, we'll make sure people canconnect uh and check out Striver
that they're intrigued by thevirtual virtual reality and how
they can use technology to trainemployees and learn more about
what you're doing.
Um, but more importantly, man,thanks for being a great dad and

(01:07:42):
thanks for um sharing how you'reworking hard and and even
sharing and maybe there's somemistakes you made.
I think that'll speak to a lotof dads at home.
But I wish you nothing but thebest, man, and I hope to see you
on CBS one Sunday in the finalround with uh with Rory.
You never know.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:55):
No, you never know.
That would be that would be nicefor you.
Yeah, thanks, Casey.
Uh a lot of fun, and uh again,this is this is a topic that
there are very few things thatare more important than this
topic.
So I really applaud what you'redoing, and uh thanks for having
me on.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:09):
You bet bye.
Bye bye.