January 18, 2026 • 51 mins
In this inspiring and deeply personal episode of The Quiet Warrior Podcast, Serena Low sits down with Dr. Evette Rose—author, speaker, trauma recovery expert, and creator of Metaphysical Anatomy and Metapsychology Coaching.
Evette shares her remarkable journey from studying law and working in male-dominated corporate environments to becoming a globally recognized healer, author of 21 books, and teacher of trauma-informed modalities. She opens up about overcoming childhood wounds, facing her fear of public speaking as an introvert, and discovering how emotional pain shows up in the body.
Listeners will walk away with practical insights on using their strengths in times of stress, how subconscious beliefs impact health (especially for women), and why even the smallest act of presence can create powerful ripple effects.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode
- The turning point: How Evette went from corporate life and atheism to rediscovering spirituality and healing.
- Overcoming fear as an introvert: Her struggle with public speaking and how focusing on her why and strengths helped her keep going.
- Strengths-based resilience: Why identifying and leaning on your strengths can reduce fear and build confidence in stressful situations.
- Stress and Women’s Health: The hidden link between “pushing through” stress, hormonal imbalances, and common health conditions.
- Healing subconscious patterns: Understanding how inherited beliefs about lack and struggle can keep us stuck.
- Writing as healing: Why each of her 21 books began as a personal journey through pain and how writing can be cathartic for introverts.
- Multiple purposes: How embracing different purposes across your life can be liberating and empowering.
Resources and Links
- Visit Dr. Evette Rose’s website: metaphysicalanatomy.com
- Free gift: Restoring the Emotional Body (eBook + guided meditation) – available under the Books tab on metaphysicalanatomy.com
- Subscribe to The Visible Introvert newsletter at SerenaLow.com.au.
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a 5-star rating and review to help more introverts and quiet achievers find The Quiet Warrior Podcast.
This episode was edited by Aura House Productions
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Serena Lowe.
If you're used to hearing thatintroverts are shy, anxious,
antisocial, and lack goodcommunication and leadership
skills, then this podcast is foryou.
You're about to fall in lovewith a calm, introspective, and
profound person that you are.
Discover what's fun, unique, andpowerful about being an
(00:22):
introvert and how to make theelegant transition from quiet
achiever to quiet warrior inyour life and work, anytime you
want, in more ways than youimagined possible.
Welcome.
SPEAKER_03 (00:38):
Hello and welcome.
Today's guest on the QuietWarrior Podcast is Dr.
Yvette Rose, author, speaker,trauma recovery expert, and the
creator of Metaphysical Anatomyand Metapsychology Coaching.
Yvette has worked with over7,000 clients, authored 21
books, and taughttrauma-informed healing in more
(01:00):
than 43 countries.
Her best-selling book,Metaphysical Anatomy Volume 1,
explores 722 ailments and theemotional root causes behind
them.
It's used by practitioners,therapists, and everyday people
around the world.
She has spoken at internationalmedical conferences, developed
(01:20):
powerful modalities like ametaphysical anatomy technique
and metapsychology coaching, andhelped countless people heal
emotional pain that had beenliving in their bodies for
years, often decades.
Welcome Dr.
Yvette Rose to the Quiet WarriorPodcast.
SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Thank you so much for that beautiful introduction,
Serena.
And I am thrilled to be herewith you today.
I really look forward to today'sepisode.
SPEAKER_03 (01:45):
Me too, me too.
Could you start by telling us alittle bit about your
professional journey and whathas led you to do what you now
do?
SPEAKER_00 (01:54):
What an interesting question.
So after you just introduced me,I'm going to throw a plot twist
in there.
Would you believe me if I toldyou that I actually studied to
become a lawyer and a crimescene investigator?
SPEAKER_03 (02:09):
I love you.
SPEAKER_00 (02:10):
Can you believe that?
You didn't see that coming,right?
No, not at all.
I was so passionate aboutbringing justice, to bringing
answers where there's questions,where there's distress, and to,
you know, to put the wrongsright.
Little did I know at the timethat this was the little yvette,
(02:33):
the little inner child that waslooking really truly for her
justice.
Because I had quite a toughrelationship with my father.
He was not the kindest person.
And so, in a in a quite anegative way, I might add, it
felt at least for me, he wasalso my biggest teacher.
And so, with this journey of youknow, the dynamic that I had
(02:57):
with him and and really how thatset me up for how I dealt with
my emotions, my stress, how Ivalued myself as a person.
And I think that really set thestage for me who needed that
that um all the wrongs to be putright, who needed the apology,
(03:18):
who needed to understand why.
Why did all these things happen?
And so that career choice wasreally intriguing because it was
so in alignment with everythingin me that was stirred up during
my childhood, right?
I I but at the time I didn'tmake the connection.
And then I couldn't afford thestudies anymore, so I had to let
(03:42):
that go.
And I actually studied businessmanagement.
So I ended up um working as justyou know in head office, you
know, in corporate, very strongmale-oriented environments and
um construction sites, and thenback in the head office.
So it was quite a I mean,sometimes the ratio was 2,000
men to four women, right?
(04:03):
So it was it was a scaryenvironment, especially for
someone who's, you know, I wasstill 18, 19 at that time.
And then, long story short, Iactually ended up wanting to
start to improve my own qualityof life.
I really struggled with theharsh environments that I was
(04:24):
working in, being quite a quiet,you know, person that just
needed to have her space, justneeded to have her time.
And then being in this constant,abrasive environments that felt
harsh, you know, the criticism,the judgment, it's like it was
it was a lot.
And I think just one thing ledto another.
(04:46):
My childhood just piling up allthat stress, and I realized wow,
something needs to give,something needs to change.
That's why we start personaldevelopment.
There's something in us that wewould like to address and shift.
And so I hit my road.
Sorry, my my um, what do youcall it?
My crossroads.
And this is where I and I wasraised actually Christian, but I
(05:11):
became an atheist because my dadwas the drunk Christian with the
Bible under his arm, right?
So my introduction to religionwas very, very unhealthy and
very tainted with his views andhis perspectives, which was not
healthy at all.
So I switched and I became theatheist.
(05:32):
And when I went onto thecomputer to start to find out
how I can change my life, howcan I turn things around?
So, Rena, do you know what Ifound?
You know what Google showed meway back then when we still had
these clunky dull computers,right?
Like this is way back then.
Doreen virtue, angels, NeilDonald Walsh, color therapy,
(05:56):
conversations with God.
And I'm sitting there and I'mthinking, oh, is this a joke?
All I want is to be happy, andthis is what I see.
And I don't know if you canrelate, but when you are in a
situation where you have doneabsolutely everything, and you
(06:18):
feel figurative speech thatyou're on your knees, that you
seem to warm up to things thatyou normally would just shut
down.
Because who am I in that momentto judge if I myself do not even
have the answer?
And so I thought, okay, so it'sgoing to be Neil Donald Walsh
(06:40):
and me.
And I started reasoningconversations with God, and long
story short, I fell in love withGod again.
I fell in love with my myhealing journey and bringing my
focus and my attention back tome and diving into different
tools to unravel this innerchild that was just so fearful
(07:01):
and full of anxiety and andpanic, and to just really
starting to heal these corewounds.
And I saw the changes in me, andI was so so liberated.
I had no idea that so muchhappiness can be on the other
side of pain.
(07:22):
And that contrast, thatrealization, that awakening that
we actually can be happy made meso motivated to share it with
other people.
So I ended up just showingpeople what I did, just
specifically what I did, andmade a few YouTube videos and it
(07:43):
went viral.
It went viral.
It went to the point where Ifound a business partner, we
partnered up and we traveled theworld as a result of this.
And I'm watching how peopleshift and change and
understanding wow, this emotionmeans that this may be stored in
(08:05):
this part of the body.
Oh wow, isn't it interestingthat if you have chest pain,
that maybe there are certainemotions relating to um fear and
anxiety and suppressed anger,wow, this is really interesting.
So I started documenting all ofthat, and this is really how my
journey started.
Completely by chance, I wouldsay, really truly just from me
(08:28):
wanting to improve my life.
If you had to tell me that Iwould be an author and I would
be doing what I'm doing today, Ithink I probably would have
passed out and never woke up.
I still really just thecontrast, you know.
Imagine that being a full-blownatheist, and then six months
(08:50):
later quitting my corporate job,packing my bags to travel and
speak.
It's just it was incredible.
It it's like I sometimes feellike there was someone just came
in with the one and just said,wishes granted.
Was quite a journey, quite ajourney, but here I am, and here
(09:12):
we are.
SPEAKER_03 (09:13):
And I thank you so much for sharing that journey
with us.
When you said you can't imaginethat happening, I th I'm
thinking of it on two levels.
You know, there's that logical,rational side of us that we are
conditioned to follow that saysthat's not possible, nobody's
ever done that in my family.
I've I've come from this kind ofan upbringing, I haven't been
(09:34):
exposed to such things.
So those things are notpossible, not within the realm
of possibility for me.
But at the same time, you saidit was like someone had you know
waved a wand.
And I'm thinking of the quantumleaps that can happen when we
tap into that inner knowing,that divine source, that's
there's some kind of wisdom,higher wisdom, right?
(09:56):
That we are all connected to.
And maybe we've becomedisconnected from that, but you
found a way back to yours,right?
And then you went from a certainpath to your own path, yeah,
which you could not have seen.
SPEAKER_00 (10:11):
That's true.
And you know what, Serena, whatwas really hard about that, even
though it's such a beautifulblessing, at the same time, it
unraveled a really big nightmarefor me.
Because I'm people will neverguess this about me.
So when people ask me, soYvette, can you share something
with me that I never would haveguessed?
(10:31):
Something that people wouldnever know.
When I tell them I'm anintrovert, they're like they're
in complete disbelief, theydon't believe it.
Because now, Serena, I'mtraveling.
Now it's working with people,now it's interacting with
groups, it's not justone-on-one.
And my fear of public speaking,I collapsed.
(10:52):
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
It took me five years to reallyget to the point where I could
speak and not and not shake,where you couldn't hear my voice
shake, right?
Like it was really that bad.
I remember this.
We actually we made a DVD, andway back then, before you know,
(11:14):
we'd had like YouTube series andeverything, you know, we filmed
DVDs.
And I only had to say onesentence because my business
partner did all the talking.
I mean, he was great.
I had to say one sentence.
The moment and there wasprofessional cameras at the
house, there was professionallighting, everything was set up.
I just had to say that onesentence.
(11:36):
And when I sat down, I burst outinto tears, and that was it.
I couldn't even finish thesentence.
I couldn't even say it.
As the co-founder, I tanked.
So it was quite a journey toreally get back to that point of
public speaking because not onlywas I an introvert by heart, my
(12:01):
dad also reinforced this whatyou have to say doesn't matter.
You know, stop talking, stopcrying, and it's you know, don't
don't speak, be quiet.
It's this constant reinforcementof your truth and your flow of
just communication.
So that was that was it was atough, it was a tough um nut to
(12:25):
crack.
I'm not gonna lie.
It took me, it put me intotherapy, but for a good reason,
for a good reason, because ithelped me to overcome that.
How do you manage being anintrovert and then switching to
entertaining groups of people,working with people, you know,
it's trauma work, it's stresswork, speaking about your life.
(12:46):
And you know, you see peopledifferent facial expressions,
you're seeing their emotionalfeedback to what you're saying.
It's it really, really triggereda lot.
I will not lie, it was tough,but I'm thankful that my passion
in helping people was strongerthan my fear, and that is what
(13:09):
really helped me to keepbringing me back to why am I
doing what you're doing?
Even every time when I felt likegiving up, because the fear of
public speaking was so greatthat I felt like giving up a few
times.
I was like, this is too much.
I'd rather go back to corporate.
I I can't do this.
And I had to keep bringingmyself back to why am I doing
this?
Why am I here?
(13:29):
What was so important about thisthat that I got myself this far.
And I really leaned on that.
That was my crutch.
I really leaned on that.
SPEAKER_03 (13:39):
Yeah.
I love that you highlighted theimportance of the why and
continually going back to thatbecause that is very useful for
those of us listening who arewho resonate with your story,
who also have their fear ofpublic speaking or any kind of
public-facing, customer-facingkind of work where we don't feel
(14:00):
like we're in our naturalcomfort zone.
And it's not helpful to tell anintrovert to come out of their
comfort zone or come out of yourshell or to be someone
different, because we're justwired uniquely.
And our strength actually liesin that one-on-one
communication, that veryfocused, very present kind of
um, you know, kind of energy.
(14:21):
And I love that you found a waythrough or around your fear by
focusing on the passion.
Because a lot of introverts andquiet achievers get held back by
the fear and they just see it asa full stop, as a closed door.
But what you're saying is if youfocus on the passion and keep
going back to the why, thatbecomes more important.
It I think it does take yourfocus off yourself, which I find
(14:44):
that when I'm too self-focused,I get completely, you know, I I
start to believe my own fears asthough they are something that
you can't surmount.
But you have sucking it.
It sucks you in, doesn't it?
It does.
It has this that kind of energyof sucking you in.
And so to be able to rememberthat there is something bigger
at stake, there's somethingbigger you're connected to,
(15:04):
there's something meaningful andpurposeful out there, and it's
worth doing.
I think that's so helpful.
SPEAKER_00 (15:12):
That was really important for me.
And you know what also helped mesomething that I would love to
share with everyone listeningright now, if this is something
that you can relate to,especially if it's something
that you really want to do, butyou feel that fear creeping up,
is to actually, there's thisstrength.
Um, this there's a there's atest online that's free.
(15:33):
It's a it's a strength test,which is like a questionnaire
that you can fill in, and thenyou can see what are all your
strengths.
And so what I learned to do, andI learned this also with my um
PhD in psychology, uh, and inpositive psychology, is um when
we focus on a strength that wehave in a stressful situation,
(15:57):
it actually helps to buildresilience.
So, what I learned at the time,what I didn't realize before
studying positive psychology isthat I looked at, okay, all
right.
So I have a fear of publicspeaking.
This is a lot, okay, we'rebreathing.
So we go back to the why.
Why do I love this?
But then I also went to the thispart where I realized, okay,
(16:20):
wait, wait.
I'm so much more than someonewho's scared of speaking in
public.
What are my strengths?
What are my strengths?
And I said, okay, I I'm reallygood at feeling compassion.
Okay.
So instead of feeling orfocusing on the stress of what
people are gonna think, let'sfocus on feeling compassion
because people judge becausethey are also scared.
(16:41):
So at the end of the day, peoplein that audience is just as
scared as me, but for otherreasons.
And I'm like, okay, so that kindof started to lessen the feeling
of it's just me.
I'm all by myself, I'm isolatedbecause when we feel scared, we
feel isolated.
We're like, What?
It's just me.
No one will understand this.
(17:02):
And that makes us just thatmakes us string.
And so this helped me torealize, okay, I'm gonna focus
on my strength and I'm going tojust be here and stand here in
this place in compassion.
And I'm going to feel compassionfor the audience.
And just as good as I am atfeeling compassion for people,
I'm going to give some of thatcompassion for myself right now
(17:23):
because I'm really trying.
So this was these were the peptalks that I went through.
And I think for people who are,you know, by nature introverted,
it's it's really important tofocus on what are your
strengths, what are you good at?
Because these are the firstthings that go out of the window
(17:45):
when we get stressed.
We forget how strong we are, weforget what we're good at.
So, what's really helpful is tothink, okay, what are all my
strengths?
Which strength can I bring intothis situation right now that
can support me?
That really, really helped me.
(18:05):
And I think, and I hope thatthis might also serve as a as an
important um mindset reframe interms of what we can emotionally
lean on before we allow thatthat fear gremlin to become
bigger than us.
Beautiful.
SPEAKER_03 (18:26):
So a strengths-based approach.
And how your particular strengthcan give you something extra in
the situation that connects youalso to your audience.
I agree with you that when weare fearful or when we are too
absorbed in our own perceivedweaknesses, we disconnect
ourselves from the people we arewith.
(18:48):
So it's important to recognizethat everyone else has those are
universal fears.
Just about everyone is afraid ofbeing in that spotlight, being
the one that everyone else islooking at, having the weight of
expectation on them.
So for you to identify yourselfwith the audience and to see
that, you know, we're all peerstogether here, we're all
(19:09):
experiencing the same sorts offears.
What can I do to connect withmyself and with you in this
moment in a helpful way?
SPEAKER_00 (19:19):
Yes, exactly.
And and you can do this in anykind of situation where you feel
challenged, where you suddenlyfeel, wow.
You know, we've all had theseexperiences where we feel like
our confidence, it's like thisrug has just been ripped out
from under you, and you justfeel really vulnerable right
now.
I've had a lot of those moments,and it's in those moments where
(19:42):
we panic and then I bring myfocus back to my breath, to my
breathing.
Because when we stress likethat, we dissociate and we're
completely out of the body.
And the way to get back intocontrol is not through an
analytical way, because thatwill actually exacerbate the
Because this is where we startto rational, you know, become
(20:03):
irrational.
So we need to come back into thebody.
And a beautiful, safe way to dothat is to just follow your
breath.
Just bring your full focus andawareness to your breath.
Okay, I feel stressed.
So regardless of what thechallenge is that you're facing,
what are my strengths?
Which of my strengths can I tapinto right now that can support
(20:24):
me in this challenge?
This has been incrediblyhelpful.
And the reason why is when wetap into a strength that we
have, it's a strength for areason.
We know that we're good at it.
So we trust this part ofourselves that we can now unlock
(20:45):
and bring into this stressfulsituation to support us.
I find this works really,really, really well.
So I do invite those listening,if that ever happens, try it.
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
Thank you for highlighting that.
And I think to add to what youjust said, it's also important
to have that self-awarenessbefore that moment of panic
arises.
Because usually when we'repanicky, we can't think
properly.
So I think in the quiet moments,in the peaceful moments when
nothing too much is happening,make some room to reflect on
your own strengths.
So you know what they are.
(21:24):
You're constantly in touch withthem.
You don't have to invent them onthe spot because introverts are
not good at wigging it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:33):
Exactly.
And I'm gonna share a secretbehind the scenes.
So I actually had my mystrengths on a posted notepad on
my computer for that reason.
So when I do panic or when I dostress, I'm looking at okay,
which one is gonna work?
And I'll scanning, I'm like,which one is gonna serve me
right now?
Okay, determination, okay, I amdetermined.
(21:54):
Yes, okay, I I can tap into mydetermined side right now, and
I'm gonna bring I'm gonna embodythat and I'm gonna bring that
into this situation right now.
And this is how I trainedmyself, right?
So I I started with postednotepads, and I have no shame
admitting that because we haveto start somewhere at some
point, right?
SPEAKER_03 (22:13):
Agree with you.
Yeah, yes.
We need more of those visualcues, more of ways that we can
constantly remind ourselves thatwe are strong, that we have
strengths, that we have so manypowerful qualities that can
serve as something to anchor usin those times where the ground
is a bit shaky, as you say.
Now I want to take you back tosomething you said earlier about
(22:35):
how emotions affect our physicalhealth.
And I'm thinking particularly ofwomen's health.
Can you talk to us about that?
SPEAKER_00 (22:45):
Absolutely.
So when we are so stressed, weare actually in a state where
the woman, a woman's body, isless resilient to constant
stress than what a man's bodyis.
And I've seen this time and timeand again working with my
(23:05):
clients.
And what I see, what happenswith women, is at the end of the
day, when we work, we work, wehave to provide.
We also have to supportsometimes financially, help our
husband to earn more money.
I mean, the world's getting moreexpensive.
Let's let's be honest about it.
It's tough.
Now, what this I have to fight,fight, fight, fight, fight, I
(23:25):
have to work, work, work.
We are in a state of heightenedcortisol.
And when we are in thatheightened state of distress,
normally it comes from a placeof not aggressively fighting,
but pushing.
We have to push, we have to go.
And when you really start tosink deeper into what is the
underlying roots of that, thatis the fight response.
(23:48):
And what happens is when we arein that push, that fight
response of having to fightforward, fight our way through
this, right?
Fight through the fatigue, fightthrough the brain fog.
It's it's it's a push, right?
Yeah.
So this is now what happens isit pushes women out of their
feminine state and it pushes usmore into our masculine state.
(24:10):
And when women are more in theirmasculine state, this is now
what I have seen when thatstress response starts to run
all the time and it doesn'tswitch off in healthy ways.
Women start to have um thyroidproblems, women start to have
cysts in their breasts, or therecould be um cysts in their
(24:33):
ovaries, or there's um theirperiods are completely upside
down, it's it's irregular,bloatedness, irritable bowel
syndrome, and a lot of the timeschronic fatigue, um, stomach
problems like stomach ulcers andhair falling out.
I see that a lot with women andadult women with with acne from
(24:58):
stress.
This is what I've seen.
This I have to push, I have tofight, this response does to a
woman's body, because our bodiesare meant to be able to be in a
state of balance with being thenurturer, which is a more soft,
graceful, supportive approach,and we can work from that space,
(25:20):
absolutely.
But when we are fearful, when weare working from a place of
lack, that's where we start tofight.
That's where we start to push.
And when I when I sometimes workwith women who are in these
circumstances, the first thingthat I do is we need to pull the
plug, we need to release thisstress that you have around
(25:43):
lack.
Yes, maybe your circumstancesare showing you that, but
stressing over it and that tothe point where it's impacting
your health is a completedisadvantage to you.
It's not putting you in a strongplace to thrive in your career
where you can work in a morerestful, rejuvenating, clear,
(26:04):
calm, clear-minded way as well.
And then still go home and bethere for your children and your
family and your friends, right?
We we have more than just careerstress, we have other stress as
well.
And then sometimes we have ourown unresolved trauma and stress
from our own childhoods thatwe're trying to deal with at the
(26:26):
same time.
So to just take away that thatfalse belief of constant living
in a state of lack and shiftingour focus back to, well, what is
going right in my life?
What am I doing right?
These just these two factorsalone are incredible because
(26:48):
they start to break the illusionthat things are always going
wrong, right?
Because it's that stress becomesan unhealthy addiction.
What sometimes happens is, youknow, we we start to associate,
you know, struggling throughthis task with this dopamine
because we we're getting tasksdone, but it doesn't necessarily
mean that we reach the goal.
(27:08):
So now we're training the mindand the body to become used to
the dopamine being releasedthrough struggle rather than the
actual goal.
And that's why a lot of womenthey just don't get to their end
goal because the body is used tothe struggle, because that's
where it gets the dopamine.
So every time when we get closeto our goals, somehow we
sabotage subconsciously, or wegive up just before we get
(27:33):
there.
Or no, no, no, that fear is nowbigger than what my desire for
the goal was.
So this is where we start to, ina subtle way, not intentional,
sabotage, purely because ofneurochemical programming, and
also how we we handle thatstress.
So this in in very short is howstress can impact a woman's
(27:59):
health.
But every time, I'm telling you,every time when you see breast
cancer, cyst in the breast,stomach, you know, um uh um
bloating, um, you know,reproductive challenges, you
will see that there is a push.
I have to push, push, push,push.
(28:20):
I can't stop, I can't stop.
I must go, go, go.
It's it's this this hamster inthe wheel.
And there's a fear of stopping.
There's a fear of letting go.
And it's that it's thatscarcity, it's that lack,
whatever it is that they feelthat they're lacking, whether
it's in themselves or in theenvironment.
And that is normally often thesubconscious driving factor
(28:41):
that's causing people to go, go,go, go, go until they start to
develop these different,extended coping strategies and
mechanisms.
So at the end of the day, by thetime when you look at the
ailment or the stress or howit's showing up in their health,
you're not just dealing with oneissue.
Now you have multiple points toalso look at.
(29:04):
But first and foremost is totackle the lack, whether it's
emotional lack, lack in yourenvironment, but that
relationship with lack thatneeds to be addressed.
SPEAKER_03 (29:21):
There's so many points that you've highlighted
that I don't quite know where tostart from.
But I think it's reallyimportant that you've
acknowledged the multiple layersof stress that women carry,
they're the additional mental,emotional load, and that you've
also said it's possible toretrain mind and body to work
together to overcome that stressby releasing that limiting
(29:44):
belief around the lack, theperceived lack.
Correct.
And I think it's important thatyou said also that it's
subconscious because a lot ofpeople start becoming aware of
these things and then they feelguilty, they start condemning
themselves.
Oh, I should do it differently,I should know better.
It's actually not that.
If you are listening to this,know that a lot of this is based
on the subconscious scripts andconditioning that we've all been
(30:07):
exposed to from childhood, evenfrom well-meaning and the best
parents, right?
Because we do these thingsunconsciously, and then we pass
them on to the next generationand the next generation.
So then what we are dealing withis the result of generations of
past off beliefs and um pain andsuffering and and ways of seeing
the world, which are no longerhelpful in our particular
(30:29):
context.
So I think having thatawakening, that uh moment of
realizing this is not helping meright now, this is not helping
me in my life, and this is notthe way I want to live my life.
What can I do differently?
Who can I be differently?
SPEAKER_01 (30:43):
How can I recreate myself from that more
compassionate perspective?
Beautifully said that you're anexcellent note-taker and
summarizers.
SPEAKER_00 (30:56):
I love that.
Just bullet points.
Thank you.
But definitely, yeah, I cannotplace enough emphasis on the
fact that this is subconscious.
No one wakes up every daythinking, how can I work myself
into the ground?
We don't do that.
Of course, our intention is tostrive for happiness, is to
strive for you know to reach ourgoals.
(31:18):
But sometimes these internalmechanisms that, and even in my
case, I was not aware of.
You know, I became aware of itwhen I really started to dig,
and I mean really deep, and Istarted to speak to mentors
because I myself couldn't get towhere I needed to be.
I I needed help and I absolutelygot my mentors and support.
(31:40):
And even with that, sometimesthere were blind spots where
things were obvious to thementor, and I'm just like, can't
be.
No, I would never, no, I wouldnever feel that.
So there was denial, even denialon my part, because there was,
there were just parts of me thatjust didn't want to believe that
I had certain negative beliefsbecause we tell ourselves
(32:02):
sometimes something to a certainpoint where we identify with it
so much that it can close usalso off to other possibilities
of what could be going on underthe surface that could be
contributing to our pain.
And what I might what I learnedthrough my it's a
self-protecting, um, it's aself-protecting strategy.
(32:24):
Let's just be honest, because Iwas protecting myself as well.
So I felt like, wow, I'm alreadygoing through quite a lot.
I don't want to hear this rightnow.
But what I didn't realize isthat it wasn't criticism, it was
data.
SPEAKER_01 (32:39):
It was data or data, I don't know how you say there,
data, data.
SPEAKER_00 (32:43):
It's always a dance.
And okay, this is just data.
All right, so what am I going todo with this?
So, what helped me was to startto see feedback from people that
I was working with um more so asinformation, and then giving the
power back to me.
Okay, well, what would I like todo now with that information?
(33:08):
And that process and tackling itfrom that angle made me feel
more empowered rather thanfeeling like someone's pointing
a finger at me, which it didn'tgo down very well.
I was quite, you know, asintroverts, I think we all can
agree that we have a sensitiveside and it it's helpful when
things can be delivered in amore gentle, graceful way.
(33:30):
So I started to see um and Istarted to use keywords with my
mentors.
Okay, let's refer to this asdata.
Okay.
Um, it's not if I see you'redoing that.
It's just eventually I see datacoming forward, such as maybe
the possibility of when thathappens, then these emotions
come up to less identify with itas me being in the fire line.
(33:51):
I noticed the way of howchallenges were being
communicated made such a bigdifference in my attitude
towards it.
I actually started to feel thiswillingness.
I'm like, wow, okay, I'm gonnatackle this.
Now I feel really good about it.
Instead of feeling that, well,I'm doing this and you're doing
that, you know, it makes youfeel almost like you're doing
something wrong.
(34:11):
It's like you're you're guiltyof something or you feel
shameful.
So just for everyone elselistening, that was my booby
trap.
I don't know what your boobytrap maybe has been in the past,
but to be mindful of when youare addressing challenges that
you have been through in thepast, and when maybe when
someone is helping you, noticehow you would like feedback to
(34:35):
be delivered to you because thatis really important in um
friendships, in therapy, all ofthat.
Like my friends know, as anexample, when I go through
really tough times, don't don'tever say to me, Oh, I'm so sorry
to hear that.
Oh, you poor thing, that mustthat that's that's terrible.
(34:58):
That is a big no-no for mebecause it makes me personally
feel demeaned and that youcannot see my capacity to deal
with this.
Instead, if you see I'm goingthrough a hard time and I'm
opening up about it, please justsay, I hear you, and I'm right
here for you if you need me.
That empowers me.
(35:18):
Now I feel wow.
Okay, someone is seeing me.
I feel seen, it felt safe, itfelt good, and I wasn't looked
down on like, oh, you you youyou poor thing.
It enrages me when people saythat, and it makes me feel like
I'm not capable.
(35:38):
When in reality, we all are.
It's just a matter of are wechoosing our support to be
delivered in the right way.
So my friends know when when wehave our pity parties, which we
all do, we have our pettyparties, right?
So when I have mine, they knowhow to respond to me in a way
(36:03):
that makes me feel more actuallymore empowered rather than
adding fuel to the fire.
So I hope this helps also foreveryone listening, you know,
through my journey ofunderstanding my
introvertedness, because myfriends sometimes confuse my
public personality with who Iactually really am as a person
(36:25):
when I'm not on stage.
And sometimes they they willstill be connected to the event
that's on stage.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no.
That that that that is an eventthat's in her purpose, but I
also have a purpose in adifferent way because we have
multiple purposes.
We always think that we havejust that one ultimate purpose.
(36:47):
Where there's a need, there's apurpose waiting to be fulfilled.
So that means you can have apurpose for one minute, five
minutes, a lifetime.
You can have multiple.
And so one of my purposes thatI'm very clear and strong in is
to be a speaker now, because Ifinally overcame that fear.
And I learned how to be anintrovert and a public speaker
(37:07):
at the same time, and itabsolutely is possible.
It's absolutely possible.
What did it happen overnight?
No, it took me years.
It took me years, but I gotthere because I started to learn
how do I want to be supported asan introvert?
Because we're just wireddifferently, let's be honest.
(37:30):
And that requires differentapproaches in terms of being
supported.
SPEAKER_03 (37:37):
I think what you've said is really important for
those of us who are the quietachievers who are not used to
articulating what do I need,where are my boundaries, what
would be helpful for me rightnow.
So for you to know that soclearly that the mode of
delivery matters.
It's not just the message, it'salso how it is conveyed to you
and how it makes you feel, whichgoes back to what you said about
(38:00):
it being important to know yourown strengths.
It's a strengths-based approach.
You want to be reminded that youare capable, you are strong.
Whereas somebody else who'slistening may be thinking, but
I'm quite happy just being told,Oh, I'm so sorry you're going
through this.
If that makes me feel good.
So I think it's important forpeople listening to be clear
what it is that most benefitsyou, supports you, gives you
(38:25):
that sense of anchoring or, youknow, being being buffered in
the moment.
And that's different for eachperson.
SPEAKER_00 (38:32):
So it's good to be clear.
Absolutely.
Yeah, you know, that emotionalfeedback, that that is your GPS.
And that's why I said it's soimportant to learn and
understand what makes you feelgood and what makes you feel
bad.
Don't worry about articulatingspecific emotions.
You will know when you feelelevated and when you feel a
(38:52):
little bit more sad or down whensomeone responds a certain way
to you.
And something really else,Serena, that I would really,
really highly recommend toeveryone, everyone, even though
you might not want to become apublic speaker, but this was my
breakthrough.
You can do a self-paced onlinecourse anywhere or with anyone,
(39:18):
but I would highly recommend togo through public speaking
online course.
You can even though you're notgonna speak, but do it privately
for you because those skillsreally help me to become clearer
in myself.
That really, really helped me.
And every time when I work alsowith someone who is like me also
(39:42):
with the being an introvert,communication is the hardest.
It's tough because we're quietby nature, right?
So now suddenly, if if you're ina working environment where
people don't really evenunderstand how to spell
introverts.
And now you have people in yourface, and you have to stand up,
(40:03):
you have to speak, you have todo all these things.
It's a lot.
It is a lot to digest.
And what I found was justlearning simple communication
tools and skills that can helpme in these moments.
It really, really helped me tofeel more stronger and
resilient, and also clients thatI work with.
(40:26):
Just simple, there's no, there'sno specific course, even just
something really simple,private, self-paced that you can
do for yourself.
That will really give you a lotof just that that internal, how
can I say, cushion, that thatcomfortableness to feel just a
little bit more prepared, eventhough you might never need it.
(40:47):
But have you noticed how muchmore confident you feel when you
feel prepared?
unknown (40:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (40:53):
So I do hope that that helps.
That is good news for everyintroverted listener because we
love to be prepared.
We hate winging it.
We we like to know that we havea bit more capacity than we
actually need in the moment.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (41:08):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (41:08):
That's all of the overachieving part, right?
Yes, absolutely.
And the idea of a self-pacedcourse, oh, that's a dream for
introverts.
We love the self-paced course.
We love taking things at our owntime, preferably not having to
see someone in person or or evenonline.
We just want to do it quietly inour own time.
Yes.
And then to know that I havethese skills, I can rise to the
(41:32):
occasion if needed.
I will have the words, I willhave the language, I have a
chance to practice, maybe roleplay on my own in privacy.
Yes, it does make you feel moreequipped in the moment.
Exactly.
Maybe defray some of thatanxiety that comes up.
SPEAKER_00 (41:49):
Exactly.
I love that.
SPEAKER_03 (41:51):
Tell us about the 21 books though.
SPEAKER_00 (41:54):
Oh Serena, I'm gonna rephrase that.
It was 21 meltdowns.
I'm gonna be really honest withyou.
That was 21 meltdowns.
So every book that I havewritten has been uh a place, a
dark place that I have been inmy life myself.
And I wrote about how what I didwith it, um, how did I move
(42:18):
through it, and then also howdid I coach and help my clients
and students through that aswell.
And there's also a lot ofresearch that I share in each
book around these specifictopics.
So every book is literally ahealing journey in my life, and
I, you know, I think my my booksalso came from this part of me
(42:43):
that in the past didn't alwayswant to speak about myself and
writing about it was easier.
And this is where I think thiswas also very healing and very
cathartic for me because I stillstand very strong in my purpose,
which is to be of service topeople, is to help people.
I love it, and I love it so muchthat I sometimes lean on that
(43:03):
passion sometimes to get methrough my my fear of speaking
and my fear of of doing thingsthat would cause me to be seen
because you're an author, peopleare they're gonna see your work,
and especially when I wroteabout my autobiography, that was
tough.
I mean, I went through four ofthis, four keyboards, external
(43:24):
keyboards, because I cried somuch.
It was tough, it was so hard.
It's one thing to have yourstory in your head, but when
when it was on the computer andI was reading it, I feel like
that disassociative statedropped, and I felt it, and I
(43:47):
felt all of it, but as asconfronting as what it was, it
was also very revealing, butvery, very healing, but also
very stressful.
So, you know, as introverts, welike to be private, we don't
like really people to know whowe are, what we do, you know, we
kind of like like things to be acertain way, but I kept leaning
(44:11):
on that that passion, that loveto help people and writing it
rather from the perspective ofthinking, oh, I'm going to be
judged.
I wrote it with the perspectiveof there's going to be someone
that's going to feel every word.
And if that person can just findcomfort in my words and lean on
that, and I can support them inthat way, so be it.
(44:33):
And and and and was that it wasthat message that really carried
me through finally writing thatautobiography because it was it
was tough.
It was really was tough.
I was brutally honest.
Um, in every chapter, was I wasa different age in every
chapter, and I wrote everychapter from that age.
So when I was 10, I wrote like a10-year-old, like how I was
(44:56):
thinking and seeing the world.
And so you'll actually see asthe chapters progress how I
mature throughout the process,which is how my interpretation
of thoughts matured umthroughout my life as well.
So yeah, because I find a lot ofautobiographies that people
write, they write it as anadult.
You I mean, do you reallyremember what you felt as a
(45:20):
six-year-old?
Because now we're interpretingit as an adult, what that
six-year-old would have feltlike.
I was really going back intothose moments, like trying to
see it through my eyes of asix-year-old.
What was I thinking?
What was I feeling?
How was I interpreting myenvironment and all of that, and
then writing from that space.
And I think that's probably alsowhat made it so much harder, was
(45:41):
like really going back intothose moments.
But I'm thankful that I did itbecause the feedback that came
from that book was wasincredible.
And still to this day, it'sactually used in one of the
universities in Switzerland aspart of the psychology case
studies as part of theircurriculums.
So it's yeah, it I didn't know.
I was just walking in the streetand someone just said, Are you a
vet?
And I'm like, Why do you know?
(46:02):
Why would why would someone inSwitzerland know me?
I mean, you you have your ownlanguage.
It's like, oh my god, your bookis in our university.
And so she told me the wholestory, and I'm like, I didn't
even know.
I didn't even know.
So yeah, it's just it's thisfeedback that just I I hold on
to that.
I really hold on to that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:23):
Yeah, I think that's great encouragement for every
introvert who thinks that theyare just speaking to one person
or trying to encourage oneperson.
That one person matters when youwrite for one person and one
person is touched, there's thatripple effect that goes out,
that compounds, right?
The butterfly effect.
So don't don't discount orunderestimate your personal
(46:46):
impact on the world.
Because the one person that youaffect, the one person that
needed to hear what you said inthat particular way, expressed,
you know, in your unique lens, Ithink that that is that's
already fulfilling your purpose.
SPEAKER_00 (47:03):
Right there.
Remember what I said earlier,also.
We we don't, we always we ourself-esteem needs to feel like
our purpose is is so gigantic,but it's not.
I can't tell you how manyclients I've had where they
would tell me stories saying,Yvette, you know what?
There was a day where I spoke tosomeone and that person came in
(47:23):
just the right moment, and theyjust said one thing to me, or we
just said one sentence in a s ina in a shop, and it it it
regulated me in that momentbecause I felt like I was gonna
have a panic attack.
And that person who spoke tothat person had no idea, they
had no idea of the impact thatthey just had on that person's
life, because we don't get tosee the validation of what our
(47:45):
impact created in someone else'slife, and sometimes we just need
to let go and know that what wesaid, what we did, how we showed
up, and just our presence issometimes just enough, and it's
good enough, and it's beautifulbecause helping just that one
person, how do you know thatjust maybe you now helped an
(48:05):
entire family?
SPEAKER_01 (48:08):
Because maybe that person has to be strong for 10
other people, right?
SPEAKER_00 (48:13):
So it just you never know how far that ripple effect
is going to stretch.
SPEAKER_03 (48:21):
That's exactly how I see as well, and I think this is
a beautiful place to wrap up.
How do you what was the best wayfor people to connect with you
and work with you, Yvette?
SPEAKER_00 (48:31):
Of course.
So you can find me atmetaphysicalanatomy.com.
And I also have a fun free giftfor your for your viewers, which
is also on my website.
It's just there on my books tab.
It's a free ebook calledRestoring the Emotional Body.
If you want to learn a littlebit more about if I feel
anxiety, what could it be?
If I feel pain in my back, whatcould maybe my body trying to
(48:52):
tell me?
So this can be a really fun wayfor you to connect to it.
And you're gonna love this.
Are you ready?
There's a self-guidedpre-recorded video of me where
I'm going to talk you through abeautiful healing meditation as
well.
So you can you can imaginehaving me there as your private
therapist when you have maybechallenges coming up.
(49:14):
So read the book, see how itworks, or you can just go to the
to the pre-recorded video aswell in whatever challenges that
you're feeling and gently gothrough that at your own pace.
SPEAKER_03 (49:26):
That is such a beautiful and generous gift for
our introverts.
So thank you on behalf ofeveryone who is listening.
And I I'm reminded of what yousaid at the start about wanting
to be a lawyer and a crime sceneinvestigator, because your quiz,
in a way, comes full circle,because this is all about
understanding ourselves, thatcuriosity.
Why am I this way?
Why am I wired this way?
(49:46):
What's what makes me tick?
What makes other people tick?
And so it's that curiosity andunearthing and the root causes
and all that comes out again inyour multiple purposes and the
work that you do.
So thank you so much.
I really appreciate you for thisvery illuminating conversation
that's also very healing forpeople to listen to, very
(50:07):
encouraging and validating on somany levels.
And uh thank you for remindingus that we have multiple
purposes.
It doesn't have to be just onebig impressive sounding thing,
but it can be many, many smallthings.
And those small things matter.
And one person matters as well.
So if you enjoyed today'sepisode, be sure to leave a
(50:30):
five-star rating and review tohelp the Quiet Warrior Podcast
reach more introverts and quietachievers around the world.
And for recommended resources onhow to thrive as an introvert,
make sure you're subscribed tothe Visible Introvert newsletter
at Serenalo.com.au.
See you on the next episode.
I'm so grateful that you're heretoday.
SPEAKER_02 (50:52):
If you found this content valuable, please share
it on your social media channelsand subscribe to the show on
your favorite listeningplatform.
Together we can help moreintroverts thrive.
SPEAKER_03 (51:03):
To receive more uplifting content like this,
connect with me on Instagram atSerenalo Quiet Warrior Coach.
Thank you for sharing your timeand your energy with me.
See you on the next episode.
Hi, I'm Serena Lowe.
If you're used to hearing thatintroverts are shy, anxious,
antisocial, and lack goodcommunication and leadership
skills, then this podcast is foryou.
You're about to fall in lovewith a calm, introspective, and
profound person that you are.
Discover what's fun, unique, andpowerful about being an
(00:22):
introvert and how to make theelegant transition from quiet
achiever to quiet warrior inyour life and work, anytime you
want, in more ways than youimagined possible.
Welcome.
SPEAKER_03 (00:38):
Hello and welcome.
Today's guest on the QuietWarrior Podcast is Dr.
Yvette Rose, author, speaker,trauma recovery expert, and the
creator of Metaphysical Anatomyand Metapsychology Coaching.
Yvette has worked with over7,000 clients, authored 21
books, and taughttrauma-informed healing in more
(01:00):
than 43 countries.
Her best-selling book,Metaphysical Anatomy Volume 1,
explores 722 ailments and theemotional root causes behind
them.
It's used by practitioners,therapists, and everyday people
around the world.
She has spoken at internationalmedical conferences, developed
(01:20):
powerful modalities like ametaphysical anatomy technique
and metapsychology coaching, andhelped countless people heal
emotional pain that had beenliving in their bodies for
years, often decades.
Welcome Dr.
Yvette Rose to the Quiet WarriorPodcast.
SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Thank you so much for that beautiful introduction,
Serena.
And I am thrilled to be herewith you today.
I really look forward to today'sepisode.
SPEAKER_03 (01:45):
Me too, me too.
Could you start by telling us alittle bit about your
professional journey and whathas led you to do what you now
do?
SPEAKER_00 (01:54):
What an interesting question.
So after you just introduced me,I'm going to throw a plot twist
in there.
Would you believe me if I toldyou that I actually studied to
become a lawyer and a crimescene investigator?
SPEAKER_03 (02:09):
I love you.
SPEAKER_00 (02:10):
Can you believe that?
You didn't see that coming,right?
No, not at all.
I was so passionate aboutbringing justice, to bringing
answers where there's questions,where there's distress, and to,
you know, to put the wrongsright.
Little did I know at the timethat this was the little yvette,
(02:33):
the little inner child that waslooking really truly for her
justice.
Because I had quite a toughrelationship with my father.
He was not the kindest person.
And so, in a in a quite anegative way, I might add, it
felt at least for me, he wasalso my biggest teacher.
And so, with this journey of youknow, the dynamic that I had
(02:57):
with him and and really how thatset me up for how I dealt with
my emotions, my stress, how Ivalued myself as a person.
And I think that really set thestage for me who needed that
that um all the wrongs to be putright, who needed the apology,
(03:18):
who needed to understand why.
Why did all these things happen?
And so that career choice wasreally intriguing because it was
so in alignment with everythingin me that was stirred up during
my childhood, right?
I I but at the time I didn'tmake the connection.
And then I couldn't afford thestudies anymore, so I had to let
(03:42):
that go.
And I actually studied businessmanagement.
So I ended up um working as justyou know in head office, you
know, in corporate, very strongmale-oriented environments and
um construction sites, and thenback in the head office.
So it was quite a I mean,sometimes the ratio was 2,000
men to four women, right?
(04:03):
So it was it was a scaryenvironment, especially for
someone who's, you know, I wasstill 18, 19 at that time.
And then, long story short, Iactually ended up wanting to
start to improve my own qualityof life.
I really struggled with theharsh environments that I was
(04:24):
working in, being quite a quiet,you know, person that just
needed to have her space, justneeded to have her time.
And then being in this constant,abrasive environments that felt
harsh, you know, the criticism,the judgment, it's like it was
it was a lot.
And I think just one thing ledto another.
(04:46):
My childhood just piling up allthat stress, and I realized wow,
something needs to give,something needs to change.
That's why we start personaldevelopment.
There's something in us that wewould like to address and shift.
And so I hit my road.
Sorry, my my um, what do youcall it?
My crossroads.
And this is where I and I wasraised actually Christian, but I
(05:11):
became an atheist because my dadwas the drunk Christian with the
Bible under his arm, right?
So my introduction to religionwas very, very unhealthy and
very tainted with his views andhis perspectives, which was not
healthy at all.
So I switched and I became theatheist.
(05:32):
And when I went onto thecomputer to start to find out
how I can change my life, howcan I turn things around?
So, Rena, do you know what Ifound?
You know what Google showed meway back then when we still had
these clunky dull computers,right?
Like this is way back then.
Doreen virtue, angels, NeilDonald Walsh, color therapy,
(05:56):
conversations with God.
And I'm sitting there and I'mthinking, oh, is this a joke?
All I want is to be happy, andthis is what I see.
And I don't know if you canrelate, but when you are in a
situation where you have doneabsolutely everything, and you
(06:18):
feel figurative speech thatyou're on your knees, that you
seem to warm up to things thatyou normally would just shut
down.
Because who am I in that momentto judge if I myself do not even
have the answer?
And so I thought, okay, so it'sgoing to be Neil Donald Walsh
(06:40):
and me.
And I started reasoningconversations with God, and long
story short, I fell in love withGod again.
I fell in love with my myhealing journey and bringing my
focus and my attention back tome and diving into different
tools to unravel this innerchild that was just so fearful
(07:01):
and full of anxiety and andpanic, and to just really
starting to heal these corewounds.
And I saw the changes in me, andI was so so liberated.
I had no idea that so muchhappiness can be on the other
side of pain.
(07:22):
And that contrast, thatrealization, that awakening that
we actually can be happy made meso motivated to share it with
other people.
So I ended up just showingpeople what I did, just
specifically what I did, andmade a few YouTube videos and it
(07:43):
went viral.
It went viral.
It went to the point where Ifound a business partner, we
partnered up and we traveled theworld as a result of this.
And I'm watching how peopleshift and change and
understanding wow, this emotionmeans that this may be stored in
(08:05):
this part of the body.
Oh wow, isn't it interestingthat if you have chest pain,
that maybe there are certainemotions relating to um fear and
anxiety and suppressed anger,wow, this is really interesting.
So I started documenting all ofthat, and this is really how my
journey started.
Completely by chance, I wouldsay, really truly just from me
(08:28):
wanting to improve my life.
If you had to tell me that Iwould be an author and I would
be doing what I'm doing today, Ithink I probably would have
passed out and never woke up.
I still really just thecontrast, you know.
Imagine that being a full-blownatheist, and then six months
(08:50):
later quitting my corporate job,packing my bags to travel and
speak.
It's just it was incredible.
It it's like I sometimes feellike there was someone just came
in with the one and just said,wishes granted.
Was quite a journey, quite ajourney, but here I am, and here
(09:12):
we are.
SPEAKER_03 (09:13):
And I thank you so much for sharing that journey
with us.
When you said you can't imaginethat happening, I th I'm
thinking of it on two levels.
You know, there's that logical,rational side of us that we are
conditioned to follow that saysthat's not possible, nobody's
ever done that in my family.
I've I've come from this kind ofan upbringing, I haven't been
(09:34):
exposed to such things.
So those things are notpossible, not within the realm
of possibility for me.
But at the same time, you saidit was like someone had you know
waved a wand.
And I'm thinking of the quantumleaps that can happen when we
tap into that inner knowing,that divine source, that's
there's some kind of wisdom,higher wisdom, right?
(09:56):
That we are all connected to.
And maybe we've becomedisconnected from that, but you
found a way back to yours,right?
And then you went from a certainpath to your own path, yeah,
which you could not have seen.
SPEAKER_00 (10:11):
That's true.
And you know what, Serena, whatwas really hard about that, even
though it's such a beautifulblessing, at the same time, it
unraveled a really big nightmarefor me.
Because I'm people will neverguess this about me.
So when people ask me, soYvette, can you share something
with me that I never would haveguessed?
(10:31):
Something that people wouldnever know.
When I tell them I'm anintrovert, they're like they're
in complete disbelief, theydon't believe it.
Because now, Serena, I'mtraveling.
Now it's working with people,now it's interacting with
groups, it's not justone-on-one.
And my fear of public speaking,I collapsed.
(10:52):
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it.
It took me five years to reallyget to the point where I could
speak and not and not shake,where you couldn't hear my voice
shake, right?
Like it was really that bad.
I remember this.
We actually we made a DVD, andway back then, before you know,
(11:14):
we'd had like YouTube series andeverything, you know, we filmed
DVDs.
And I only had to say onesentence because my business
partner did all the talking.
I mean, he was great.
I had to say one sentence.
The moment and there wasprofessional cameras at the
house, there was professionallighting, everything was set up.
I just had to say that onesentence.
(11:36):
And when I sat down, I burst outinto tears, and that was it.
I couldn't even finish thesentence.
I couldn't even say it.
As the co-founder, I tanked.
So it was quite a journey toreally get back to that point of
public speaking because not onlywas I an introvert by heart, my
(12:01):
dad also reinforced this whatyou have to say doesn't matter.
You know, stop talking, stopcrying, and it's you know, don't
don't speak, be quiet.
It's this constant reinforcementof your truth and your flow of
just communication.
So that was that was it was atough, it was a tough um nut to
(12:25):
crack.
I'm not gonna lie.
It took me, it put me intotherapy, but for a good reason,
for a good reason, because ithelped me to overcome that.
How do you manage being anintrovert and then switching to
entertaining groups of people,working with people, you know,
it's trauma work, it's stresswork, speaking about your life.
(12:46):
And you know, you see peopledifferent facial expressions,
you're seeing their emotionalfeedback to what you're saying.
It's it really, really triggereda lot.
I will not lie, it was tough,but I'm thankful that my passion
in helping people was strongerthan my fear, and that is what
(13:09):
really helped me to keepbringing me back to why am I
doing what you're doing?
Even every time when I felt likegiving up, because the fear of
public speaking was so greatthat I felt like giving up a few
times.
I was like, this is too much.
I'd rather go back to corporate.
I I can't do this.
And I had to keep bringingmyself back to why am I doing
this?
Why am I here?
(13:29):
What was so important about thisthat that I got myself this far.
And I really leaned on that.
That was my crutch.
I really leaned on that.
SPEAKER_03 (13:39):
Yeah.
I love that you highlighted theimportance of the why and
continually going back to thatbecause that is very useful for
those of us listening who arewho resonate with your story,
who also have their fear ofpublic speaking or any kind of
public-facing, customer-facingkind of work where we don't feel
(14:00):
like we're in our naturalcomfort zone.
And it's not helpful to tell anintrovert to come out of their
comfort zone or come out of yourshell or to be someone
different, because we're justwired uniquely.
And our strength actually liesin that one-on-one
communication, that veryfocused, very present kind of
um, you know, kind of energy.
(14:21):
And I love that you found a waythrough or around your fear by
focusing on the passion.
Because a lot of introverts andquiet achievers get held back by
the fear and they just see it asa full stop, as a closed door.
But what you're saying is if youfocus on the passion and keep
going back to the why, thatbecomes more important.
It I think it does take yourfocus off yourself, which I find
(14:44):
that when I'm too self-focused,I get completely, you know, I I
start to believe my own fears asthough they are something that
you can't surmount.
But you have sucking it.
It sucks you in, doesn't it?
It does.
It has this that kind of energyof sucking you in.
And so to be able to rememberthat there is something bigger
at stake, there's somethingbigger you're connected to,
(15:04):
there's something meaningful andpurposeful out there, and it's
worth doing.
I think that's so helpful.
SPEAKER_00 (15:12):
That was really important for me.
And you know what also helped mesomething that I would love to
share with everyone listeningright now, if this is something
that you can relate to,especially if it's something
that you really want to do, butyou feel that fear creeping up,
is to actually, there's thisstrength.
Um, this there's a there's atest online that's free.
(15:33):
It's a it's a strength test,which is like a questionnaire
that you can fill in, and thenyou can see what are all your
strengths.
And so what I learned to do, andI learned this also with my um
PhD in psychology, uh, and inpositive psychology, is um when
we focus on a strength that wehave in a stressful situation,
(15:57):
it actually helps to buildresilience.
So, what I learned at the time,what I didn't realize before
studying positive psychology isthat I looked at, okay, all
right.
So I have a fear of publicspeaking.
This is a lot, okay, we'rebreathing.
So we go back to the why.
Why do I love this?
But then I also went to the thispart where I realized, okay,
(16:20):
wait, wait.
I'm so much more than someonewho's scared of speaking in
public.
What are my strengths?
What are my strengths?
And I said, okay, I I'm reallygood at feeling compassion.
Okay.
So instead of feeling orfocusing on the stress of what
people are gonna think, let'sfocus on feeling compassion
because people judge becausethey are also scared.
(16:41):
So at the end of the day, peoplein that audience is just as
scared as me, but for otherreasons.
And I'm like, okay, so that kindof started to lessen the feeling
of it's just me.
I'm all by myself, I'm isolatedbecause when we feel scared, we
feel isolated.
We're like, What?
It's just me.
No one will understand this.
(17:02):
And that makes us just thatmakes us string.
And so this helped me torealize, okay, I'm gonna focus
on my strength and I'm going tojust be here and stand here in
this place in compassion.
And I'm going to feel compassionfor the audience.
And just as good as I am atfeeling compassion for people,
I'm going to give some of thatcompassion for myself right now
(17:23):
because I'm really trying.
So this was these were the peptalks that I went through.
And I think for people who are,you know, by nature introverted,
it's it's really important tofocus on what are your
strengths, what are you good at?
Because these are the firstthings that go out of the window
(17:45):
when we get stressed.
We forget how strong we are, weforget what we're good at.
So, what's really helpful is tothink, okay, what are all my
strengths?
Which strength can I bring intothis situation right now that
can support me?
That really, really helped me.
(18:05):
And I think, and I hope thatthis might also serve as a as an
important um mindset reframe interms of what we can emotionally
lean on before we allow thatthat fear gremlin to become
bigger than us.
Beautiful.
SPEAKER_03 (18:26):
So a strengths-based approach.
And how your particular strengthcan give you something extra in
the situation that connects youalso to your audience.
I agree with you that when weare fearful or when we are too
absorbed in our own perceivedweaknesses, we disconnect
ourselves from the people we arewith.
(18:48):
So it's important to recognizethat everyone else has those are
universal fears.
Just about everyone is afraid ofbeing in that spotlight, being
the one that everyone else islooking at, having the weight of
expectation on them.
So for you to identify yourselfwith the audience and to see
that, you know, we're all peerstogether here, we're all
(19:09):
experiencing the same sorts offears.
What can I do to connect withmyself and with you in this
moment in a helpful way?
SPEAKER_00 (19:19):
Yes, exactly.
And and you can do this in anykind of situation where you feel
challenged, where you suddenlyfeel, wow.
You know, we've all had theseexperiences where we feel like
our confidence, it's like thisrug has just been ripped out
from under you, and you justfeel really vulnerable right
now.
I've had a lot of those moments,and it's in those moments where
(19:42):
we panic and then I bring myfocus back to my breath, to my
breathing.
Because when we stress likethat, we dissociate and we're
completely out of the body.
And the way to get back intocontrol is not through an
analytical way, because thatwill actually exacerbate the
Because this is where we startto rational, you know, become
(20:03):
irrational.
So we need to come back into thebody.
And a beautiful, safe way to dothat is to just follow your
breath.
Just bring your full focus andawareness to your breath.
Okay, I feel stressed.
So regardless of what thechallenge is that you're facing,
what are my strengths?
Which of my strengths can I tapinto right now that can support
(20:24):
me in this challenge?
This has been incrediblyhelpful.
And the reason why is when wetap into a strength that we
have, it's a strength for areason.
We know that we're good at it.
So we trust this part ofourselves that we can now unlock
(20:45):
and bring into this stressfulsituation to support us.
I find this works really,really, really well.
So I do invite those listening,if that ever happens, try it.
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
Thank you for highlighting that.
And I think to add to what youjust said, it's also important
to have that self-awarenessbefore that moment of panic
arises.
Because usually when we'repanicky, we can't think
properly.
So I think in the quiet moments,in the peaceful moments when
nothing too much is happening,make some room to reflect on
your own strengths.
So you know what they are.
(21:24):
You're constantly in touch withthem.
You don't have to invent them onthe spot because introverts are
not good at wigging it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:33):
Exactly.
And I'm gonna share a secretbehind the scenes.
So I actually had my mystrengths on a posted notepad on
my computer for that reason.
So when I do panic or when I dostress, I'm looking at okay,
which one is gonna work?
And I'll scanning, I'm like,which one is gonna serve me
right now?
Okay, determination, okay, I amdetermined.
(21:54):
Yes, okay, I I can tap into mydetermined side right now, and
I'm gonna bring I'm gonna embodythat and I'm gonna bring that
into this situation right now.
And this is how I trainedmyself, right?
So I I started with postednotepads, and I have no shame
admitting that because we haveto start somewhere at some
point, right?
SPEAKER_03 (22:13):
Agree with you.
Yeah, yes.
We need more of those visualcues, more of ways that we can
constantly remind ourselves thatwe are strong, that we have
strengths, that we have so manypowerful qualities that can
serve as something to anchor usin those times where the ground
is a bit shaky, as you say.
Now I want to take you back tosomething you said earlier about
(22:35):
how emotions affect our physicalhealth.
And I'm thinking particularly ofwomen's health.
Can you talk to us about that?
SPEAKER_00 (22:45):
Absolutely.
So when we are so stressed, weare actually in a state where
the woman, a woman's body, isless resilient to constant
stress than what a man's bodyis.
And I've seen this time and timeand again working with my
(23:05):
clients.
And what I see, what happenswith women, is at the end of the
day, when we work, we work, wehave to provide.
We also have to supportsometimes financially, help our
husband to earn more money.
I mean, the world's getting moreexpensive.
Let's let's be honest about it.
It's tough.
Now, what this I have to fight,fight, fight, fight, fight, I
(23:25):
have to work, work, work.
We are in a state of heightenedcortisol.
And when we are in thatheightened state of distress,
normally it comes from a placeof not aggressively fighting,
but pushing.
We have to push, we have to go.
And when you really start tosink deeper into what is the
underlying roots of that, thatis the fight response.
(23:48):
And what happens is when we arein that push, that fight
response of having to fightforward, fight our way through
this, right?
Fight through the fatigue, fightthrough the brain fog.
It's it's it's a push, right?
Yeah.
So this is now what happens isit pushes women out of their
feminine state and it pushes usmore into our masculine state.
(24:10):
And when women are more in theirmasculine state, this is now
what I have seen when thatstress response starts to run
all the time and it doesn'tswitch off in healthy ways.
Women start to have um thyroidproblems, women start to have
cysts in their breasts, or therecould be um cysts in their
(24:33):
ovaries, or there's um theirperiods are completely upside
down, it's it's irregular,bloatedness, irritable bowel
syndrome, and a lot of the timeschronic fatigue, um, stomach
problems like stomach ulcers andhair falling out.
I see that a lot with women andadult women with with acne from
(24:58):
stress.
This is what I've seen.
This I have to push, I have tofight, this response does to a
woman's body, because our bodiesare meant to be able to be in a
state of balance with being thenurturer, which is a more soft,
graceful, supportive approach,and we can work from that space,
(25:20):
absolutely.
But when we are fearful, when weare working from a place of
lack, that's where we start tofight.
That's where we start to push.
And when I when I sometimes workwith women who are in these
circumstances, the first thingthat I do is we need to pull the
plug, we need to release thisstress that you have around
(25:43):
lack.
Yes, maybe your circumstancesare showing you that, but
stressing over it and that tothe point where it's impacting
your health is a completedisadvantage to you.
It's not putting you in a strongplace to thrive in your career
where you can work in a morerestful, rejuvenating, clear,
(26:04):
calm, clear-minded way as well.
And then still go home and bethere for your children and your
family and your friends, right?
We we have more than just careerstress, we have other stress as
well.
And then sometimes we have ourown unresolved trauma and stress
from our own childhoods thatwe're trying to deal with at the
(26:26):
same time.
So to just take away that thatfalse belief of constant living
in a state of lack and shiftingour focus back to, well, what is
going right in my life?
What am I doing right?
These just these two factorsalone are incredible because
(26:48):
they start to break the illusionthat things are always going
wrong, right?
Because it's that stress becomesan unhealthy addiction.
What sometimes happens is, youknow, we we start to associate,
you know, struggling throughthis task with this dopamine
because we we're getting tasksdone, but it doesn't necessarily
mean that we reach the goal.
(27:08):
So now we're training the mindand the body to become used to
the dopamine being releasedthrough struggle rather than the
actual goal.
And that's why a lot of womenthey just don't get to their end
goal because the body is used tothe struggle, because that's
where it gets the dopamine.
So every time when we get closeto our goals, somehow we
sabotage subconsciously, or wegive up just before we get
(27:33):
there.
Or no, no, no, that fear is nowbigger than what my desire for
the goal was.
So this is where we start to, ina subtle way, not intentional,
sabotage, purely because ofneurochemical programming, and
also how we we handle thatstress.
So this in in very short is howstress can impact a woman's
(27:59):
health.
But every time, I'm telling you,every time when you see breast
cancer, cyst in the breast,stomach, you know, um uh um
bloating, um, you know,reproductive challenges, you
will see that there is a push.
I have to push, push, push,push.
(28:20):
I can't stop, I can't stop.
I must go, go, go.
It's it's this this hamster inthe wheel.
And there's a fear of stopping.
There's a fear of letting go.
And it's that it's thatscarcity, it's that lack,
whatever it is that they feelthat they're lacking, whether
it's in themselves or in theenvironment.
And that is normally often thesubconscious driving factor
(28:41):
that's causing people to go, go,go, go, go until they start to
develop these different,extended coping strategies and
mechanisms.
So at the end of the day, by thetime when you look at the
ailment or the stress or howit's showing up in their health,
you're not just dealing with oneissue.
Now you have multiple points toalso look at.
(29:04):
But first and foremost is totackle the lack, whether it's
emotional lack, lack in yourenvironment, but that
relationship with lack thatneeds to be addressed.
SPEAKER_03 (29:21):
There's so many points that you've highlighted
that I don't quite know where tostart from.
But I think it's reallyimportant that you've
acknowledged the multiple layersof stress that women carry,
they're the additional mental,emotional load, and that you've
also said it's possible toretrain mind and body to work
together to overcome that stressby releasing that limiting
(29:44):
belief around the lack, theperceived lack.
Correct.
And I think it's important thatyou said also that it's
subconscious because a lot ofpeople start becoming aware of
these things and then they feelguilty, they start condemning
themselves.
Oh, I should do it differently,I should know better.
It's actually not that.
If you are listening to this,know that a lot of this is based
on the subconscious scripts andconditioning that we've all been
(30:07):
exposed to from childhood, evenfrom well-meaning and the best
parents, right?
Because we do these thingsunconsciously, and then we pass
them on to the next generationand the next generation.
So then what we are dealing withis the result of generations of
past off beliefs and um pain andsuffering and and ways of seeing
the world, which are no longerhelpful in our particular
(30:29):
context.
So I think having thatawakening, that uh moment of
realizing this is not helping meright now, this is not helping
me in my life, and this is notthe way I want to live my life.
What can I do differently?
Who can I be differently?
SPEAKER_01 (30:43):
How can I recreate myself from that more
compassionate perspective?
Beautifully said that you're anexcellent note-taker and
summarizers.
SPEAKER_00 (30:56):
I love that.
Just bullet points.
Thank you.
But definitely, yeah, I cannotplace enough emphasis on the
fact that this is subconscious.
No one wakes up every daythinking, how can I work myself
into the ground?
We don't do that.
Of course, our intention is tostrive for happiness, is to
strive for you know to reach ourgoals.
(31:18):
But sometimes these internalmechanisms that, and even in my
case, I was not aware of.
You know, I became aware of itwhen I really started to dig,
and I mean really deep, and Istarted to speak to mentors
because I myself couldn't get towhere I needed to be.
I I needed help and I absolutelygot my mentors and support.
(31:40):
And even with that, sometimesthere were blind spots where
things were obvious to thementor, and I'm just like, can't
be.
No, I would never, no, I wouldnever feel that.
So there was denial, even denialon my part, because there was,
there were just parts of me thatjust didn't want to believe that
I had certain negative beliefsbecause we tell ourselves
(32:02):
sometimes something to a certainpoint where we identify with it
so much that it can close usalso off to other possibilities
of what could be going on underthe surface that could be
contributing to our pain.
And what I might what I learnedthrough my it's a
self-protecting, um, it's aself-protecting strategy.
(32:24):
Let's just be honest, because Iwas protecting myself as well.
So I felt like, wow, I'm alreadygoing through quite a lot.
I don't want to hear this rightnow.
But what I didn't realize isthat it wasn't criticism, it was
data.
SPEAKER_01 (32:39):
It was data or data, I don't know how you say there,
data, data.
SPEAKER_00 (32:43):
It's always a dance.
And okay, this is just data.
All right, so what am I going todo with this?
So, what helped me was to startto see feedback from people that
I was working with um more so asinformation, and then giving the
power back to me.
Okay, well, what would I like todo now with that information?
(33:08):
And that process and tackling itfrom that angle made me feel
more empowered rather thanfeeling like someone's pointing
a finger at me, which it didn'tgo down very well.
I was quite, you know, asintroverts, I think we all can
agree that we have a sensitiveside and it it's helpful when
things can be delivered in amore gentle, graceful way.
(33:30):
So I started to see um and Istarted to use keywords with my
mentors.
Okay, let's refer to this asdata.
Okay.
Um, it's not if I see you'redoing that.
It's just eventually I see datacoming forward, such as maybe
the possibility of when thathappens, then these emotions
come up to less identify with itas me being in the fire line.
(33:51):
I noticed the way of howchallenges were being
communicated made such a bigdifference in my attitude
towards it.
I actually started to feel thiswillingness.
I'm like, wow, okay, I'm gonnatackle this.
Now I feel really good about it.
Instead of feeling that, well,I'm doing this and you're doing
that, you know, it makes youfeel almost like you're doing
something wrong.
(34:11):
It's like you're you're guiltyof something or you feel
shameful.
So just for everyone elselistening, that was my booby
trap.
I don't know what your boobytrap maybe has been in the past,
but to be mindful of when youare addressing challenges that
you have been through in thepast, and when maybe when
someone is helping you, noticehow you would like feedback to
(34:35):
be delivered to you because thatis really important in um
friendships, in therapy, all ofthat.
Like my friends know, as anexample, when I go through
really tough times, don't don'tever say to me, Oh, I'm so sorry
to hear that.
Oh, you poor thing, that mustthat that's that's terrible.
(34:58):
That is a big no-no for mebecause it makes me personally
feel demeaned and that youcannot see my capacity to deal
with this.
Instead, if you see I'm goingthrough a hard time and I'm
opening up about it, please justsay, I hear you, and I'm right
here for you if you need me.
That empowers me.
(35:18):
Now I feel wow.
Okay, someone is seeing me.
I feel seen, it felt safe, itfelt good, and I wasn't looked
down on like, oh, you you youyou poor thing.
It enrages me when people saythat, and it makes me feel like
I'm not capable.
(35:38):
When in reality, we all are.
It's just a matter of are wechoosing our support to be
delivered in the right way.
So my friends know when when wehave our pity parties, which we
all do, we have our pettyparties, right?
So when I have mine, they knowhow to respond to me in a way
(36:03):
that makes me feel more actuallymore empowered rather than
adding fuel to the fire.
So I hope this helps also foreveryone listening, you know,
through my journey ofunderstanding my
introvertedness, because myfriends sometimes confuse my
public personality with who Iactually really am as a person
(36:25):
when I'm not on stage.
And sometimes they they willstill be connected to the event
that's on stage.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no.
That that that that is an eventthat's in her purpose, but I
also have a purpose in adifferent way because we have
multiple purposes.
We always think that we havejust that one ultimate purpose.
(36:47):
Where there's a need, there's apurpose waiting to be fulfilled.
So that means you can have apurpose for one minute, five
minutes, a lifetime.
You can have multiple.
And so one of my purposes thatI'm very clear and strong in is
to be a speaker now, because Ifinally overcame that fear.
And I learned how to be anintrovert and a public speaker
(37:07):
at the same time, and itabsolutely is possible.
It's absolutely possible.
What did it happen overnight?
No, it took me years.
It took me years, but I gotthere because I started to learn
how do I want to be supported asan introvert?
Because we're just wireddifferently, let's be honest.
(37:30):
And that requires differentapproaches in terms of being
supported.
SPEAKER_03 (37:37):
I think what you've said is really important for
those of us who are the quietachievers who are not used to
articulating what do I need,where are my boundaries, what
would be helpful for me rightnow.
So for you to know that soclearly that the mode of
delivery matters.
It's not just the message, it'salso how it is conveyed to you
and how it makes you feel, whichgoes back to what you said about
(38:00):
it being important to know yourown strengths.
It's a strengths-based approach.
You want to be reminded that youare capable, you are strong.
Whereas somebody else who'slistening may be thinking, but
I'm quite happy just being told,Oh, I'm so sorry you're going
through this.
If that makes me feel good.
So I think it's important forpeople listening to be clear
what it is that most benefitsyou, supports you, gives you
(38:25):
that sense of anchoring or, youknow, being being buffered in
the moment.
And that's different for eachperson.
SPEAKER_00 (38:32):
So it's good to be clear.
Absolutely.
Yeah, you know, that emotionalfeedback, that that is your GPS.
And that's why I said it's soimportant to learn and
understand what makes you feelgood and what makes you feel
bad.
Don't worry about articulatingspecific emotions.
You will know when you feelelevated and when you feel a
(38:52):
little bit more sad or down whensomeone responds a certain way
to you.
And something really else,Serena, that I would really,
really highly recommend toeveryone, everyone, even though
you might not want to become apublic speaker, but this was my
breakthrough.
You can do a self-paced onlinecourse anywhere or with anyone,
(39:18):
but I would highly recommend togo through public speaking
online course.
You can even though you're notgonna speak, but do it privately
for you because those skillsreally help me to become clearer
in myself.
That really, really helped me.
And every time when I work alsowith someone who is like me also
(39:42):
with the being an introvert,communication is the hardest.
It's tough because we're quietby nature, right?
So now suddenly, if if you're ina working environment where
people don't really evenunderstand how to spell
introverts.
And now you have people in yourface, and you have to stand up,
(40:03):
you have to speak, you have todo all these things.
It's a lot.
It is a lot to digest.
And what I found was justlearning simple communication
tools and skills that can helpme in these moments.
It really, really helped me tofeel more stronger and
resilient, and also clients thatI work with.
(40:26):
Just simple, there's no, there'sno specific course, even just
something really simple,private, self-paced that you can
do for yourself.
That will really give you a lotof just that that internal, how
can I say, cushion, that thatcomfortableness to feel just a
little bit more prepared, eventhough you might never need it.
(40:47):
But have you noticed how muchmore confident you feel when you
feel prepared?
unknown (40:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (40:53):
So I do hope that that helps.
That is good news for everyintroverted listener because we
love to be prepared.
We hate winging it.
We we like to know that we havea bit more capacity than we
actually need in the moment.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_01 (41:08):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (41:08):
That's all of the overachieving part, right?
Yes, absolutely.
And the idea of a self-pacedcourse, oh, that's a dream for
introverts.
We love the self-paced course.
We love taking things at our owntime, preferably not having to
see someone in person or or evenonline.
We just want to do it quietly inour own time.
Yes.
And then to know that I havethese skills, I can rise to the
(41:32):
occasion if needed.
I will have the words, I willhave the language, I have a
chance to practice, maybe roleplay on my own in privacy.
Yes, it does make you feel moreequipped in the moment.
Exactly.
Maybe defray some of thatanxiety that comes up.
SPEAKER_00 (41:49):
Exactly.
I love that.
SPEAKER_03 (41:51):
Tell us about the 21 books though.
SPEAKER_00 (41:54):
Oh Serena, I'm gonna rephrase that.
It was 21 meltdowns.
I'm gonna be really honest withyou.
That was 21 meltdowns.
So every book that I havewritten has been uh a place, a
dark place that I have been inmy life myself.
And I wrote about how what I didwith it, um, how did I move
(42:18):
through it, and then also howdid I coach and help my clients
and students through that aswell.
And there's also a lot ofresearch that I share in each
book around these specifictopics.
So every book is literally ahealing journey in my life, and
I, you know, I think my my booksalso came from this part of me
(42:43):
that in the past didn't alwayswant to speak about myself and
writing about it was easier.
And this is where I think thiswas also very healing and very
cathartic for me because I stillstand very strong in my purpose,
which is to be of service topeople, is to help people.
I love it, and I love it so muchthat I sometimes lean on that
(43:03):
passion sometimes to get methrough my my fear of speaking
and my fear of of doing thingsthat would cause me to be seen
because you're an author, peopleare they're gonna see your work,
and especially when I wroteabout my autobiography, that was
tough.
I mean, I went through four ofthis, four keyboards, external
(43:24):
keyboards, because I cried somuch.
It was tough, it was so hard.
It's one thing to have yourstory in your head, but when
when it was on the computer andI was reading it, I feel like
that disassociative statedropped, and I felt it, and I
(43:47):
felt all of it, but as asconfronting as what it was, it
was also very revealing, butvery, very healing, but also
very stressful.
So, you know, as introverts, welike to be private, we don't
like really people to know whowe are, what we do, you know, we
kind of like like things to be acertain way, but I kept leaning
(44:11):
on that that passion, that loveto help people and writing it
rather from the perspective ofthinking, oh, I'm going to be
judged.
I wrote it with the perspectiveof there's going to be someone
that's going to feel every word.
And if that person can just findcomfort in my words and lean on
that, and I can support them inthat way, so be it.
(44:33):
And and and and was that it wasthat message that really carried
me through finally writing thatautobiography because it was it
was tough.
It was really was tough.
I was brutally honest.
Um, in every chapter, was I wasa different age in every
chapter, and I wrote everychapter from that age.
So when I was 10, I wrote like a10-year-old, like how I was
(44:56):
thinking and seeing the world.
And so you'll actually see asthe chapters progress how I
mature throughout the process,which is how my interpretation
of thoughts matured umthroughout my life as well.
So yeah, because I find a lot ofautobiographies that people
write, they write it as anadult.
You I mean, do you reallyremember what you felt as a
(45:20):
six-year-old?
Because now we're interpretingit as an adult, what that
six-year-old would have feltlike.
I was really going back intothose moments, like trying to
see it through my eyes of asix-year-old.
What was I thinking?
What was I feeling?
How was I interpreting myenvironment and all of that, and
then writing from that space.
And I think that's probably alsowhat made it so much harder, was
(45:41):
like really going back intothose moments.
But I'm thankful that I did itbecause the feedback that came
from that book was wasincredible.
And still to this day, it'sactually used in one of the
universities in Switzerland aspart of the psychology case
studies as part of theircurriculums.
So it's yeah, it I didn't know.
I was just walking in the streetand someone just said, Are you a
vet?
And I'm like, Why do you know?
(46:02):
Why would why would someone inSwitzerland know me?
I mean, you you have your ownlanguage.
It's like, oh my god, your bookis in our university.
And so she told me the wholestory, and I'm like, I didn't
even know.
I didn't even know.
So yeah, it's just it's thisfeedback that just I I hold on
to that.
I really hold on to that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:23):
Yeah, I think that's great encouragement for every
introvert who thinks that theyare just speaking to one person
or trying to encourage oneperson.
That one person matters when youwrite for one person and one
person is touched, there's thatripple effect that goes out,
that compounds, right?
The butterfly effect.
So don't don't discount orunderestimate your personal
(46:46):
impact on the world.
Because the one person that youaffect, the one person that
needed to hear what you said inthat particular way, expressed,
you know, in your unique lens, Ithink that that is that's
already fulfilling your purpose.
SPEAKER_00 (47:03):
Right there.
Remember what I said earlier,also.
We we don't, we always we ourself-esteem needs to feel like
our purpose is is so gigantic,but it's not.
I can't tell you how manyclients I've had where they
would tell me stories saying,Yvette, you know what?
There was a day where I spoke tosomeone and that person came in
(47:23):
just the right moment, and theyjust said one thing to me, or we
just said one sentence in a s ina in a shop, and it it it
regulated me in that momentbecause I felt like I was gonna
have a panic attack.
And that person who spoke tothat person had no idea, they
had no idea of the impact thatthey just had on that person's
life, because we don't get tosee the validation of what our
(47:45):
impact created in someone else'slife, and sometimes we just need
to let go and know that what wesaid, what we did, how we showed
up, and just our presence issometimes just enough, and it's
good enough, and it's beautifulbecause helping just that one
person, how do you know thatjust maybe you now helped an
(48:05):
entire family?
SPEAKER_01 (48:08):
Because maybe that person has to be strong for 10
other people, right?
SPEAKER_00 (48:13):
So it just you never know how far that ripple effect
is going to stretch.
SPEAKER_03 (48:21):
That's exactly how I see as well, and I think this is
a beautiful place to wrap up.
How do you what was the best wayfor people to connect with you
and work with you, Yvette?
SPEAKER_00 (48:31):
Of course.
So you can find me atmetaphysicalanatomy.com.
And I also have a fun free giftfor your for your viewers, which
is also on my website.
It's just there on my books tab.
It's a free ebook calledRestoring the Emotional Body.
If you want to learn a littlebit more about if I feel
anxiety, what could it be?
If I feel pain in my back, whatcould maybe my body trying to
(48:52):
tell me?
So this can be a really fun wayfor you to connect to it.
And you're gonna love this.
Are you ready?
There's a self-guidedpre-recorded video of me where
I'm going to talk you through abeautiful healing meditation as
well.
So you can you can imaginehaving me there as your private
therapist when you have maybechallenges coming up.
(49:14):
So read the book, see how itworks, or you can just go to the
to the pre-recorded video aswell in whatever challenges that
you're feeling and gently gothrough that at your own pace.
SPEAKER_03 (49:26):
That is such a beautiful and generous gift for
our introverts.
So thank you on behalf ofeveryone who is listening.
And I I'm reminded of what yousaid at the start about wanting
to be a lawyer and a crime sceneinvestigator, because your quiz,
in a way, comes full circle,because this is all about
understanding ourselves, thatcuriosity.
Why am I this way?
Why am I wired this way?
(49:46):
What's what makes me tick?
What makes other people tick?
And so it's that curiosity andunearthing and the root causes
and all that comes out again inyour multiple purposes and the
work that you do.
So thank you so much.
I really appreciate you for thisvery illuminating conversation
that's also very healing forpeople to listen to, very
(50:07):
encouraging and validating on somany levels.
And uh thank you for remindingus that we have multiple
purposes.
It doesn't have to be just onebig impressive sounding thing,
but it can be many, many smallthings.
And those small things matter.
And one person matters as well.
So if you enjoyed today'sepisode, be sure to leave a
(50:30):
five-star rating and review tohelp the Quiet Warrior Podcast
reach more introverts and quietachievers around the world.
And for recommended resources onhow to thrive as an introvert,
make sure you're subscribed tothe Visible Introvert newsletter
at Serenalo.com.au.
See you on the next episode.
I'm so grateful that you're heretoday.
SPEAKER_02 (50:52):
If you found this content valuable, please share
it on your social media channelsand subscribe to the show on
your favorite listeningplatform.
Together we can help moreintroverts thrive.
SPEAKER_03 (51:03):
To receive more uplifting content like this,
connect with me on Instagram atSerenalo Quiet Warrior Coach.
Thank you for sharing your timeand your energy with me.
See you on the next episode.
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