From Calm Kits To Concert Nights: Marriage, Mental Health, And Manners

The week starts with small comforts—a heavy hoodie, calm kits for families, rain on the windshield—and quickly widens into the bigger work of care. We swap stories from busy school trainings, a slow nail salon day, and the kind of teacher compliment that fills a bucket at just the right time. Then we open up about a real health scare, the stats around Black men and preventive care, and what it feels like to navigate screenings, sciatica pain, and surprise medical bills without losing momentum or hope.

Joy shows up loud under stadium lights. We break down a Brandy and Monica tour that delivered nostalgia and new moments, from Maya’s precision to Kelly Rowland’s command to surprise guests that kept the crowd buzzing. We also keep it real about tiny wings and $25 cocktails, and why simple planning like prepaid parking can rescue a night. The throughline is community—thousands of voices singing, the DJ stitching decades, and that shared hush before a chorus hits.

We get candid about standards in a world that prizes comfort. A viral Zoom fail turns into a reminder to dress like you might need to stand. In schools, we push back on blankets and pajama pants in class, not to be harsh, but to prepare kids for the rooms they’ll enter later—interviews, restaurants, shared spaces that demand presence. Relationships make redirection easier; consistency makes it stick. And our “Believe It, Sista” segment lands heavy with a heartbreaking child abandonment case that underlines why policies, reporting, and foster supports matter.

If you love warm honesty, a little concert glow, and practical steps for healthier habits and higher standards, you’re in the right place. Hit follow, share this with a friend who needs a nudge to book that screening, and tell us: where do you draw the line between comfort and respect? Your stories help shape the next conversation.

Send us your Questions or Comments and we’ll answer them on the show.

Don't forget to Like, Comment, Share, and Subscribe.

Thank you for listening!

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_02 (00:03):
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_03 (00:24):
Welcome back, you guys.
Thank you for tuning in to theRefreshly Normal Podcast.
I am Kifla.

SPEAKER_01 (00:30):
I am Lucretia.

SPEAKER_03 (00:32):
And we are a married couple of 22 glorious years.

SPEAKER_01 (00:37):
22.

SPEAKER_03 (00:38):
Yes.
And we're only going to getbetter each year.
She stays around.
So um let's get on to it.
Okay.
You see, I got my sweatshirt ontoday.
This is a, even though we're notsponsored, I'm gonna put it out
there.
This is a comfort sweatshirt.
And you know, comfortsweatshirts are thick

(01:01):
sweatshirts.
They're um thicker and heavierthan usual.
Uh-huh.
Than normal, you know, uhsweatshirts.
And the reason being is becausethey are to provide extra
comfort for those that may begoing through anxiety or
whatever.
Not necessarily saying I'm goingthrough anxiety, but I am a
mental health professional.

(01:22):
Um and I uh love wearing thingslike this.
I love hoodies, I lovesweatshirts.
And my wife says I'm goingthrough anxiety, and you
probably are right.
And there is a root cause to myanxiety, and a lot of uh things
grow due to the roots beingclose to them.

(01:43):
And roots have to be alive inorder for things to grow.
So I guess that my root cause isalive and close to me, which is
why my anxiety is growing.

SPEAKER_01 (01:53):
Well, just like he said in that 22, I guess I
better not stick around.

SPEAKER_03 (01:58):
I didn't say not stick around, did I?

SPEAKER_01 (02:00):
Yeah, you said she's still gonna stick with me or
something.
You say it.

SPEAKER_03 (02:03):
See, listening skills.
That's our next topic ofdiscussion.
How to improve your spouse'slistening skills.
Um, but no, how uh has your weekbeen?

SPEAKER_01 (02:16):
Um my week has been busy.

SPEAKER_03 (02:20):
Yeah.
And uh lots of trainings andstuff, right?
Yeah.
High school, elementary, well,middle school in the elementary
this week this week.

SPEAKER_01 (02:27):
Nope.
No elementary, um, I thinkmainly middle and teachers.
So I have that's the toughestone sometimes.
So that, and then um creatingcalm kits for parents for
families, and creating, I'mtrying not to do because I

(02:48):
noticed in the last time I didthat a lot.

SPEAKER_03 (02:51):
What?
Yeah, you yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (02:53):
So I'm very now aware, and I'm not gonna do so
much of that.

SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
I'm gonna say it now.
One day we're gonna be able toprovide comfort sweatshirts as
prizes for your calm kits whenyou're training.

SPEAKER_01 (03:13):
Ooh, that was a good one.

SPEAKER_03 (03:14):
I'm putting it out in the world in the atmosphere
because one day comfort is gonnarock with us.

SPEAKER_01 (03:18):
All right.
I almost did it.
That is gonna be that is gonnabe hard not to do.

SPEAKER_03 (03:23):
It is, but hey.

SPEAKER_01 (03:24):
Anyways, um, so I did calm kits for families.
Um, then I had to make quite abit of calm kits for classrooms,
so it was a busy week um doingall the things that are part of
my J O B.
And it was cold and rainy.

SPEAKER_00 (03:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (03:47):
So going in and out and traveling through from
schools to schools, it was justa yucky yucky um week.

SPEAKER_03 (03:56):
So it sucks for you this week because this is
actually the kind of weatherthat we do like.
You know, when it's called, youknow how you will say, Oh, this
is, you know, I can come homeand relax weather or you know,
but you know, I thought aboutthat when I had to help you like
load your stuff up.
And I was like, Oh, she don'teven really get to enjoy this

(04:17):
because she got to go out inthis.

SPEAKER_01 (04:18):
Yes, I had to go out in it, packing up my car with my
all my stuff that goes in mywagon.
So yeah, it was kind of yuckyyucky to be in and out of all
the elements this week.
But I got everything done.
And um one of my trainings, ateacher came to me and she said

(04:40):
What she said.

SPEAKER_03 (04:41):
I know what she said.

SPEAKER_01 (04:43):
She said, I'm so grateful for you coming and
giving us this content becauseit's like so needed for kids,
and I'm so happy about that.
She said, but I just have totell you what she said.
She said the C word.
You are just so classy.
I'm so classy.
She said, You're you are verygood at what you do, but I mean,

(05:04):
you are just so classy.
I said, Okay, girl, thank you.
So, anyways, um that her comingover and kind of feeling my
bucket um was the highlight ofmy week.

SPEAKER_03 (05:18):
Now, another highlight, reveal your uh why
your nail color.

SPEAKER_01 (05:23):
Um, I like my nail color.
So last week I got, or not lastweek, but last time I got my
nails done.
Right.
I got the cat eye, but this timeI got a red cat eye.

SPEAKER_03 (05:33):
Keep them still one time, just in case somebody
wants to zoom in on their phonesor whatever.

SPEAKER_01 (05:37):
So my nail nail.

SPEAKER_03 (05:38):
If you were to describe it for those driving,
what would you describe it aswell?

SPEAKER_01 (05:42):
I would describe it as it's married, it looks like a
marble nail.
Like, you know how marbles look,and you kind of turn them.
It looks 3D-ish, and then youcan see the when the light hits
it, you can see the design init.
So my nail lady, Miss Kimmy, didthat for me.
She likes to, she's verycreative.

SPEAKER_00 (05:59):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (06:00):
So when she they make the design, like whatever's
in the nail polish, they take alittle magnet, and then the
magnet moves the lighting thingin the nail polish.

SPEAKER_03 (06:12):
So it has some kind of metallic stuff to it.

SPEAKER_01 (06:14):
Yeah, and she can make the designs with the little
magnet thing, and then you stickit in the uh UV light thing, and
you have to yeah, it's like it'snot like a dry light.

SPEAKER_03 (06:25):
I was like, I always wonder what do what are y'all
sticking in.

SPEAKER_01 (06:28):
It's a UV light that sets the polish.

SPEAKER_03 (06:31):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (06:32):
So it it dries it, but however, whatever is yeah,
and so you have to directly putit in there after because if
not, it loses its uh themetallic.

SPEAKER_03 (06:43):
Oh, so then they start probably going back to
whatever.
Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (06:47):
So you got it.
So she does nail by nail.
So she'll do this one, and Igotta stick it in.
So she goes to the other handand do it, and then so you have
to do it that way.

SPEAKER_03 (06:55):
I wonder how many people don't.

SPEAKER_01 (06:56):
Don't what?

SPEAKER_03 (06:57):
Like, I I are there anybody that is there anyone
that does it and it's like, oh,now put your hand in my uh, it
ain't working out right.

SPEAKER_01 (07:04):
I don't know maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 (07:05):
Because you know how some people try to date a garage
nail text, you know what I mean?
And they say, I could do that,you know, and they probably not
realizing that hey, if you doone, you know, at a time, it
sets it.

SPEAKER_01 (07:16):
Yeah, though that's how she does hers.
And so it was really um when Iwent to the nail shop this week,
I was the only one, maybe oneother lady.
They were so slow.

SPEAKER_03 (07:26):
Was this Thursday or Wednesday?

SPEAKER_01 (07:27):
I went on Thursday.

SPEAKER_03 (07:28):
Thursday, it wasn't raining.

SPEAKER_01 (07:30):
It was just cloudy and cold.

SPEAKER_03 (07:32):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (07:33):
But there wasn't any rain.
It was just cloudy and cold.
And I said, My goodness, I said,has it been a slow week?
And they said it would have beena slow week.
And um, I asked, do they getpaid like an hourly rate?
And she says, No, they get paidby the number of customers they
see.
So um, yeah, so anywho, if younotice that you're a nail lady,

(07:56):
it's been a slow week for them.
I don't know if you really likethem, give them a little bit a
little more love, huh?
A little better tip orsomething, just um because they
get paid by the number ofclients, not hourly rate.
I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_03 (08:08):
Because I'm sure it wasn't just the sh the shop, you
know what I mean?
If you know, if it was thatempty.

SPEAKER_01 (08:14):
And I mean That was really weird to me.

SPEAKER_03 (08:17):
But, you know, I will admit too, like even the
grocery store the other day waskind of empty.
Um, but everybody's kind of, youknow, afraid, not knowing what's
happening.
Do I need to, you know, s holdon to my coins a little longer
than I normally would.

SPEAKER_01 (08:34):
And you and then people are putting myths out
there.
Like my mama told me, she said,Oh, you be careful going to the
grocery store because this uhone of my customers came in and
said that um you when um you goout and put your groceries in
your car, is people followingyou to your house or to take
your groceries?
To take your groceries.
I said, now mama.

SPEAKER_03 (08:53):
That ain't the groceries she's talking about.
I said, I don't think that'sstealing those groceries in
sticks.

SPEAKER_01 (08:59):
No, I said, I don't think that's so.
I said people are just making upthings because of what's
currently happening, dependingon where you at, though.
But I was I would think that Ithink that that could possibly
be a possibility.
Definitely, I'm not quite sureif that's happening now right
now.
Because for me personally, if Ididn't have food, I mean I'd

(09:21):
rather I don't know if I wantsomebody else's groceries.
No matter.
I guess if you're hungry, youtake a few.

SPEAKER_00 (09:27):
You're hungry, you're hungry, right?

SPEAKER_01 (09:28):
But she said, um, she says to me, I go, Mama, uh,
somebody that made that up.
But anyways, um, I don't thinkthat is not a possibility, but I
I'm not quite sure.

SPEAKER_03 (09:40):
Pray that it doesn't get to that point.

SPEAKER_01 (09:42):
Yes, that it's happening like the way she
described it to me.

SPEAKER_03 (09:46):
They bring neighborhoods to this house
trying to take some groceries.
They're gonna get somegroceries, all right.

SPEAKER_01 (09:50):
Well, the one thing for us is we don't do like a big
grocery haul because we uhdecide every couple of days what
we're gonna do.
But yeah, anywho, I just thoughtthat was funny that she said
that to me.
I was like, I don't know aboutthat.

SPEAKER_03 (10:03):
They'll put our groceries back.
It's just too healthy.

SPEAKER_01 (10:07):
What a treat's that broccoli and and chicken thighs.
What a treat.
What a sweets.
Yeah, they would be disappointedin ours.
So, anyways, that's how my weekwas.
How was your week?

SPEAKER_03 (10:19):
My week was good.
Um as far as the job.
Um, knocked out another IEP.
Um, you know, I'm getting I'mthere.
Um didn't go to the gym at allbecause my sciatic, you know, is
acting up uh very, very bad.
I can only stand for about man,less than five minutes before it

(10:43):
starts hurting.
And so I have to sit down and uhI want to go to the gym.
I went to the doctor and thedoctor said everything was
health-wise was good, you know,um, besides uh, you know, just
the sciatica.
And I had a uh, you know, I wasscared, had a scare.
Um and I'll share it uh becauseI had uh I saw some blood in my

(11:08):
stool.
And the reason why I'm sharingthis is because uh black males,
um, we have this and it'sstatistics, you know, we and
it's a fear that black men haveabout going to the doctor um and
getting the important checkssuch as the prostate checks and
the uh uh colon, you know,rectal uh testing screenings.

(11:30):
Um but I know that uh polyps andthings like that runs in my
family.
Um so you know, I've haddigestive issues forever.
Like I'm not your average gopoop everyday person, you know.
I'm uh once every three, fourdays and sometimes longer than
that person.
And so, you know, and recentlymy stomach has been uh upset, um

(11:55):
just real bloated.
And so uh that day, you know, wenoticed and and it scared me.
And the crazy thing about it, Iwas so scared in the uh bathroom
that I was trying to gather mythoughts on how to tell you.
Because I was like, I can't saynothing, but I have to say
something.
It would be selfish if I just goto the doc and don't say

(12:16):
anything.
You know, and so um I stayed inthere.
You did, you did.
I and I and I knew you wouldbecause of the fact that it was
and I think and I know that youknow that it's serious if I say

(12:38):
something and you look at me tosee how you should react.

SPEAKER_01 (12:44):
And I can tell you were worried.

SPEAKER_03 (12:46):
Yeah, and so um, you know, so I went to the doctor
for that, and um they said thatit it, you know, several things
that they it could be.
Um we went and did I did bloodwork and things like that.
All my blood work came backstellar.
Um my blood pressure was up alittle bit, but that was because
I was in the doctor's officebecause before then it was like

(13:09):
real, you know, real good.
Um but she said that's justbecause you're in here right
now.
Um so don't stress it.
Um but I mean, just you know, goget tested, get checked.
I mean, I had my annual early,it was in June.
So, you know, I was like, let meget my blood work again.
And she this this new doctor uhvery, very thorough.

(13:33):
Um, you know, and to myknowledge, everything's good.
So now we're just working on thesciatical pain.
Um to see how we can fix that,and that's physical therapy and
pain management that I have togo to.
Um it's expensive, you know,when you go into like
neurosurgeons, because I had togo to neurosurgery before, and
it was so much more.

(13:53):
And now what we're realizing isthat what our insurance used to
pay, they're not paying for asfar as you know, x-rays and
stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 (14:00):
But I want to check in on that because sometimes
people could file things wrong.

SPEAKER_03 (14:04):
Yeah, they wrong billing codes.

SPEAKER_01 (14:06):
Yeah, if that is what's going on.
So I'll But it's happening toooften.

SPEAKER_03 (14:11):
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
But we're seeing it, yeah.
We're seeing it all throughout.
Like it's like, oh, what?
Facial x-rays, uh back x-rays,you know, just different things.
All this money is coming back,you know, regular visit, you
know, not regular visits, copay,but anything we're going to
adopt for that normally wedidn't ever see a bill, we're
not seeing bills for.

SPEAKER_01 (14:30):
So And our insurance hasn't changed.

SPEAKER_03 (14:32):
Yeah, our insurance hasn't changed at all.
So that was my weekly scare.
Um Like I say, I can't ex youknow, express it enough,
gentlemen, please go, because Ido know um people, you know, I'm
51, uh, but I am a I would sayI'm a healthy 51.
Um and I work at being healthy.

(14:53):
Not just the oh, it's my genes,no, you know, I work at being
healthy trying to do right.
Um so just make sure.
And ladies out there, encouragethe person you love to go and
get, you know, tested andcheckups and all that kind of
stuff.
Um you know.
But uh other than that, my weekwas like I said, good.

(15:14):
It's just this sciatic pain istough.
It it I never, never had it likethis before.
Never, never.
Slept in the recliner twonights.
I didn't want to.
You know, I like, you know,sleeping by my cold footed uh
partner.
I was gonna say something else,but we ain't gonna say that.

(15:36):
But uh but I wonder what he wasthinking.
But uh it helped sitting in thatrecliner and you know, putting
ice on it, and they said put iceand then heat and stuff like
that.
But when I I don't ooh, if y'allhad the pain, you know.
It's and this is crazy.
Like, and I'm I have to stand onmy feet and I had to go like to

(15:58):
the copy machine, I have to Ihave to go from my office to the
classroom and another classroom,go upstairs to this classroom
and go, and I'm walking now likedragging my leg, and it's just
it's crazy.
When I see students, I'm like, Itry to walk without pain.
And but other than that, man,you know, my week was okay.
But what about last night to capoff our week?

SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
Last night.

SPEAKER_03 (16:24):
Where did we go?

SPEAKER_01 (16:25):
We went to the Boy's Mine tour.
Um, that the Can I talk to youfor a minute?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (16:33):
You know how to go.

SPEAKER_01 (16:35):
Yes.
You need to have anything.
So we went to Brandy and Monica.

SPEAKER_03 (16:42):
That's right.

SPEAKER_01 (16:42):
Their show.
And uh I'm who was our guestwith us?
Oh, Anfuga, which is Nicole, ourcousin.
She came with us to um wherewere we at?
State Farm Arena.
State Farm Arena.
And um, it was an amazingconcert.

SPEAKER_03 (17:05):
So everything, just the parking was cool, yeah,
getting in was cool.

SPEAKER_01 (17:10):
Yes, I seats were cool.

SPEAKER_03 (17:12):
It was really cool.

SPEAKER_01 (17:13):
Thanks to the planner.

SPEAKER_03 (17:14):
Good job, planner.
I'm not a planner.

SPEAKER_01 (17:16):
So um I got right on.
We were able to get great seats.
This person was like, You surewe supposed to be going this way
to sit down?
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (17:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (17:26):
So our seats are really good.
We had a good view of the stage,and I did the he he reminded me
about the parking though, butum, to get the parking pass.
And so I got the parking pass umprior to the concert.
Um, we got there enough time toum well, because you wouldn't

(17:48):
got our food though, but we gotour cocktails and everything.

SPEAKER_03 (17:52):
Um, and so But I didn't the only act that I
missed was the guy from AmericanIdol, the one that just won
American Idol.
He was a he's a PE teacher fromMississippi.

SPEAKER_01 (18:03):
Yeah, so he sang.
He was pretty good.
Um, I um I felt a little bad forhim, but not really like bad
because any exposure for a newartist is great, and there were
thousands and thousands ofpeople in there.
But when he was on, people werestill coming and sitting down
and so the shuffle of it all,but he did get an opportunity to

(18:25):
do what he needed to do.

SPEAKER_03 (18:26):
Because there's chops practicing, you know,
getting your stage in a stadium.

SPEAKER_01 (18:29):
I mean, and he was in a stadium, so and he travels
with them.
Yep, so that's that's a greatopportunity.
They also had Maya.
Um so um she looked good.

SPEAKER_03 (18:47):
She did.
And she's what, 46?

SPEAKER_01 (18:50):
46, yeah.
She looks good, she did wellperforming, her voice sounded
great.

SPEAKER_03 (18:56):
Yeah, good.

SPEAKER_01 (18:57):
Um, I was impressed with Miss Maya.

SPEAKER_03 (18:59):
Great stage presence.

SPEAKER_01 (19:00):
Yep, great stage presence.

SPEAKER_03 (19:02):
Not as good as who?
Kelly Rowling.
You think that's no Maya wasgood because Maya's used to
performing by herself.

SPEAKER_01 (19:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (19:11):
You know what I'm saying?
But Kelly just it's just Kelly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She just had a different, youknow, she was confident.
Yeah, on well, I ain't evengonna say confident.

SPEAKER_01 (19:22):
Because Maya was confident.
Maya was just a different Ithink it's because Kelly's with
Des been with Destiny's Childand Kelly's It's just different.

SPEAKER_03 (19:29):
Kelly's stage presence was she was exuding
sexiness on the stage with herperformance.
That's more what it was.
Okay.
How she would because how shewould take the stage and walk
and do things and look at folks.
Maya was uh had a sexy state,but she was her her performance

(19:50):
was like is the performance.

SPEAKER_01 (19:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (19:52):
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 (19:53):
Well, I think that just comes from the many years
Kelly's been with Destiny'sChild.
I mean, of course she's she'shad the opportunity to have the
the best, I guess, training,experience, and all that.
But so, anywho, so that was thenext one.
So after Maya, then was Kelly,and Kelly did a good job.

(20:14):
And Kelly I'm sorry, rewind.

SPEAKER_03 (20:15):
I did not know you knew all of those Maya songs.

SPEAKER_01 (20:18):
Yes, I love Maya.

SPEAKER_03 (20:21):
I did not know that.
Like, I was like, she knowsevery I'm talking about word for
word.

SPEAKER_01 (20:26):
I love Maya.
So that's why when I startedgoing TikTok and I started
seeing her, and I was like,wait, is she gonna be with him?
So then I even got more excitedbecause I've always liked Maya.

SPEAKER_03 (20:40):
Yeah, you knew all the stuff.

SPEAKER_01 (20:41):
Yeah, she's a great dancer, performer.
I've always liked her.

SPEAKER_03 (20:45):
Yeah, I was so mad.
Remember when she was on Dancingwith the Stars that she didn't
get to.

SPEAKER_01 (20:48):
Yeah, Mario people didn't know her.

SPEAKER_03 (20:51):
It wasn't that.
Oh, you think it's because otherpeople?
Right, because Mario was top.
He should have won.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (20:57):
You know, so yeah, she was so good on dancing with
the stars.
She was a champion.
She's just awesome.
So that was her, so yeah, I didI did you know all the songs.
And then Kelly did great, andshe brought out Summer Walker
for because Summer Walker usedSay My Name in one of her songs.

SPEAKER_03 (21:16):
Just say my name.
Say my name.

SPEAKER_01 (21:19):
And she came out kind of in a costume.
She was a bunny rabbit.

SPEAKER_03 (21:21):
Yeah, she was a bunny rabbit.

SPEAKER_01 (21:23):
Sure enough.

SPEAKER_03 (21:23):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (21:24):
Or what would they be?
Not a bunny rabbit.
What were that?
What were those two ladiescalled?
Oh, like playmate.
Like a playmate.

SPEAKER_03 (21:31):
Jack Rabbit.
You know Jack Rabbit got thembig old hind legs.

SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
She uh, yeah, she came out.

SPEAKER_03 (21:36):
She had them hind legs on her.

SPEAKER_01 (21:38):
She came out part of Kelly's thing.

SPEAKER_03 (21:40):
So that I thought she had background singers with
her.
That was her hips and booty.
That was her hips and booty thatshe bought.
Oh, that ain't no background.
There ain't no backgrounddancers.
Mm-mm.
Ain't nobody moving.
I thought somebody backgroundchicken like this.
I said, Oh, that's her booty.

SPEAKER_01 (21:54):
Y'all, she did not even do that much movement.
She was just walking around.
Slipping singing that song.

SPEAKER_03 (22:02):
Won't you say my name?
Say my name.

SPEAKER_01 (22:05):
She did not do all that.
But it was really good.
That was a good surprise.
Yeah.
And then after Kelly, of course,the ladies, Brandy and Monica,
they started the show together.
And they did a thing where theyboth was on the stage, and then
one person did they part.
And but they had great, like uma video before where they met up

(22:28):
like in this corporate buildingand then took an elevator.
And then this elevator actuallycame up from the floor.
The simp that was the sameelevator in the video.
But they started the showtogether.
So one would sing and do theirthing, then the other one would
do their thing.
What up?
The other one would do theirthing.
And then they went back down.
And then they individually cameout on the stage.

SPEAKER_03 (22:50):
And then did a few songs.
And uh Brandy had Ray J.

SPEAKER_01 (22:54):
Yeah, that was her special person with Ray J.

SPEAKER_03 (22:57):
Y'all give it up for Ray J.
She hugged him and then theywent down.

SPEAKER_01 (23:00):
Yeah, but that was a big deal because I remember Ray
J was on whose talk whose showwas that?

SPEAKER_03 (23:06):
I forgot who it was.

SPEAKER_01 (23:07):
He was on somebody's show and they asked him had he
um how was his relationship withhis sister?
And he said they weren't talkingabout it.

SPEAKER_03 (23:15):
Yeah, because the question was like, would your
sister do something?
Oh no, my sister, we ain't eventalking right now.

SPEAKER_01 (23:20):
Uh-huh.
So he and his sister.
So that's nice to see that theywere um were on the stage last
night together.

SPEAKER_03 (23:27):
And then Monica.

SPEAKER_01 (23:29):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 (23:29):
Her first guest was who?

SPEAKER_01 (23:32):
Who was her first guest?

SPEAKER_03 (23:34):
Uh, was it her daughter?
Oh, her daughter.
Her daughter came up and dancedwith her a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 (23:38):
Maybe it was her daughter.

SPEAKER_03 (23:39):
And then Ludacris.
Yeah, I didn't think it wasJermaine Dupree.

SPEAKER_01 (23:43):
He had on this little wig thing.

SPEAKER_03 (23:44):
It was an unkept uh haircut wig.

SPEAKER_01 (23:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (23:48):
It like had a little thickness on the side and then
like some little curved.

SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
I wonder what he who he was supposed to be.

SPEAKER_03 (23:53):
I don't know.
A miss.
A miss.
And he succeeded.

SPEAKER_01 (23:56):
Mr.
A Miss.

SPEAKER_03 (23:57):
Yeah.
First initial uh miss.
Last name miss.

SPEAKER_01 (24:02):
That's what he looks.
A miss.

SPEAKER_03 (24:05):
And so uh he was they did, they did good, of
course.
Yeah.
Because he was talking abouty'all know him from Atlanta.
And when you from Atlanta, wegotta welcome you properly.

SPEAKER_02 (24:14):
And then everybody went crazy and he came up and
did that thing.

SPEAKER_03 (24:22):
And then uh Tank came out shirtless and everybody
was going crazy.
Um I said, boy, let me take myshirt off.
Because I remember back in theday when I used to do them
little auctions and stuff, and Iused to get all that money for
everybody.

(24:42):
I was a high dollar back there.
And but I said, you know what, Ilet him have his chance.
Yeah, let Tank do his thing.
Yeah, but his microphone wasn'tworking right.
No.
Um, so you could, it was likejust out the whole time, pretty
much.
And after Tank.

SPEAKER_01 (24:55):
Thank God he had a shirt off.

SPEAKER_03 (24:57):
Yeah, he can play for something.
You know, he did his thingthough.
Who came up after Tank?

SPEAKER_01 (25:01):
Uh Missy.

SPEAKER_03 (25:02):
Yeah, Missy Ellis.
She didn't sing, she just walkedon the stage.

SPEAKER_01 (25:05):
Oh, by you.
So that was good.
She didn't do anything.
She just came out and justdanced a little bit.
She didn't dance.
Well, show me she swayed.

SPEAKER_03 (25:20):
Oh, yeah.
Um, and that was it.
That was all the guests, huh?

SPEAKER_01 (25:24):
I think so.
And her daughter.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (25:27):
Oh, Brandy had another guest at the beginning.
Ortho.
The uh the shoes she had.
Orthopedic.
Uh, I was like, why does shewear these shoes with her fit?

SPEAKER_01 (25:43):
They probably were some kind of uh brand and style
that we are aware of.
Somebody knows they had red.
Because Monica had onTimberlands on one of those
things.

SPEAKER_03 (25:54):
But they wouldn't look like I zoomed in on
Brandy's shoes.
I tried to figure out what theywere.
And they look like they looklike uh restaurant shoes.
Like the no slick bottle.
They might have been, so shedidn't fall or nothing.
And um, they were, I just felt,you know, hey.
No offense.

SPEAKER_01 (26:12):
But I mean, it wasn't because she needed those
kind of shoes.
So it must have been some kindof stuff.
No, because she had on heels andboots.

SPEAKER_03 (26:18):
She did, but them, she might have had, they were
probably naturalizers.
You know, naturalizers now havestylish boots and stuff.
Yeah, no, that don't they?

SPEAKER_01 (26:26):
They do.
They do.

SPEAKER_03 (26:27):
Naturalizers have stylish boots.
They too.
Naturalizer and sass.

SPEAKER_01 (26:31):
They do, they too have some sasses.

SPEAKER_03 (26:32):
Yeah, that's probably what she had.
She's older.
She said she was older.
They had probably had somesasses on.

SPEAKER_01 (26:37):
They're in their forms.

SPEAKER_03 (26:39):
To y'all out there, y'all women with naturalizers
and sasses on.
But she was performing.

SPEAKER_01 (26:45):
But it yeah, it was a great concert.
I sang the night of the city.

SPEAKER_03 (26:49):
You sure did, child.
And the DJ halftime was greattoo.
Uh, you know, when they hypedthe crowd up.
In between the different instantintermissions and stuff.
That was pretty cool.
Um, I just love going to aconcert with us, man.
It's just, we're, you know.
And I'm saying us likecollectively.

SPEAKER_01 (27:11):
Oh, black folks.

SPEAKER_03 (27:13):
Cause just when singing the songs and all.

SPEAKER_01 (27:17):
Everybody knowing that.

SPEAKER_03 (27:18):
Yeah, it's just, it's just, it's crazy.
So uh and I'm sure they probablydo their other concerts too, you
know, the songs.
But uh, you know, it's justdifferent.
It's so so different.
Um it was Pat Hunning.
And then they showed this man inthe crowd.
And he had, I seen this oneother time somewhere.

(27:40):
I can't remember where I seenit.
So he had a mustache.
And this man, he looked like uhHe looked like it was a woman.
I mean he Well, yeah, but thatwas the guy with uh Is it Earth,
Wind, and Fire?
The you know I'm talking aboutthe guy with the long perm.
He kind of looked like him, VerdVerdeen, I think that's his
name.
But he had like picture of it.

SPEAKER_01 (28:00):
He looked like they worm to me.

SPEAKER_03 (28:04):
And it goes all the way around, like just the lip
itself.
So it just goes just like this,drawing a circle.
It looked like he put his mouthon a uh uh, what I call a
do-da-da.
D-da-da is, or do, is uh whenyou get a paper towel roll, and
once the paper towel roll isempty, you know what kids you
give it to him, they're gonnasay, or they hit it on your head

(28:25):
and go, do, that's what I callit.
So it's a do or a do-da-do.
It looked like he put that onhis mouth and it and took it
off, and it just had a blackring around his mouth.

SPEAKER_01 (28:32):
No, he looked like to me, not like the Earth Way
and the Fireman.
He looked like Big Worm if BigWorm's hair was like a wet and
wavy bob.
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (28:45):
But he it looked at a m- it looked a mess.
What it looked like, y'all mightwant to cover your ears.
It looked like a booty hole.
It just had hair right there.
And he just looking like that.

SPEAKER_01 (29:03):
And he looked, and yeah, whoever the cameraman was
last night at the concert waswas messy.
Because he was on purpose tryingto find people that a little
touched.

SPEAKER_03 (29:17):
Yeah, that was extra.

SPEAKER_01 (29:18):
Because uh the he found two red blazers.
There were two men that hadthese blazers on, and I mean
they were doing the most, I'msure they were Monica and
Brandy's biggest fans.
They probably go to everybody.
So they knew every song oneverybody's and they they knew
the routines and everything.

SPEAKER_03 (29:39):
Yeah, they did, they did.

SPEAKER_01 (29:40):
Um, but yeah, he found the um the most eclectic
characters he could find.
The camera man did, but he knewexactly what he was doing.
It was very comic.
It was very comical.

SPEAKER_03 (29:53):
He got him.
Yeah, but we enjoyed it.
We enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_01 (29:56):
It was really good.

SPEAKER_03 (29:57):
But I didn't like we didn't like the wings that J.R.
Cricket had some little bitty.

SPEAKER_01 (30:02):
Are all are J.R.
Cricket Crickets wings just thatlittle?
I mean, they look like they cameoff of a Cornish hen.

SPEAKER_03 (30:09):
Cornish hen is bigger than that, uh-huh.
You would say?
Look like they came off of awing part.
They came off a Cornish quail.
That's what they look like.

SPEAKER_01 (30:17):
So little.

SPEAKER_03 (30:18):
Or a hummingbird.

SPEAKER_01 (30:20):
I mean, I'm literally like like the flat was
like like that.

SPEAKER_03 (30:23):
And then they're gonna try to say, I bought a
catfish.
It was$16 for those wings.
And then I bought the catfishand fries was uh two fillets of
catfish, and it was not catfish.

SPEAKER_01 (30:34):
No, it was white.

SPEAKER_03 (30:35):
It was whiten.
And I don't it would though youcan tell by the the the uh
texture and the flavor.
Why we do this to us?

SPEAKER_00 (30:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (30:44):
You know what I mean?
Catfish.
It's not catfish.
So I wish you well in yourendeavors, but I also wish that
something makes you do right.
That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 (31:00):
I don't and then I also don't understand this.
I know, well, I do understandbecause when you go to um Disney
World or to uh sporting orconcerts, I just don't
understand the price of thecocktails.
It doesn't, well, I literallyhave to be able to I got um a
whiskey sour double, which meanstwo shots, twenty-five dollars

(31:25):
for for that.

SPEAKER_03 (31:26):
You gotta make money for that, pay for that bill or
nothing.

SPEAKER_01 (31:29):
No, uh yeah, it ain't about making money.

SPEAKER_03 (31:31):
Well, no, because the taxpayer we already paid
for.

SPEAKER_01 (31:33):
Well, the thing about it, yeah, is it's just
that because they can.

SPEAKER_03 (31:37):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (31:38):
And they know you're gonna be there and they know
you're gonna want to drink.

SPEAKER_03 (31:42):
Just like with anything, prices are up for no
reason.

SPEAKER_01 (31:44):
Yeah.
But I think personally, if theprices were lower, they would
make more money because peoplewould buy more than just one.
After you see$25, like my drinkfor the night.
I mean, that's what that's whatpeople will do.

SPEAKER_03 (32:00):
Because, yeah, if you think about it, if you if it
let's say if they were peoplewould go, oh, I'm gonna give me
a drink.
Because there's a middle.
Then once you get about two orthree drinks, you say you can
get three, because I can getthree, you know, for still less
than on what I'm getting two.

SPEAKER_01 (32:15):
And then by that time, you feeling real good.
You might go for more.
You might go get some more andnot realize you didn't spend
$100.
Yep, because you didn't forget.
And now you won't get somethingto eat.

SPEAKER_03 (32:25):
I need something to eat because I'ma buy me some
souvenirs now.
Then they buy some souvenirs,and then they get into like, I
shouldn't have bought none ofthat.
So yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (32:35):
So anyway.

SPEAKER_03 (32:36):
But yeah, they are they are pricey.
But uh, well, that was our week.

SPEAKER_01 (32:41):
Yeah, that was our week.
It was really good.
I was trying to think ofanything else, but yeah, that's
about it.

SPEAKER_03 (32:46):
That's about it, Chick.
That's it.
The leaves are starting tochange and fall, so that's good.

SPEAKER_01 (32:52):
The one thing I wanted to do in the fall that we
didn't get to do because wemissed it, I did want to try to
do the um we missed the faintinggoat.
I wanted to do that.

SPEAKER_03 (33:00):
But we did the picnic on in the vines at the
fainting goat.

SPEAKER_01 (33:04):
Because it took the leaves a little while longer to
turn this time because to methey're just turning down, but
the last time for the picnic islike the the last weekend in
October.
And so e either way, youwouldn't have got it wouldn't
have been like it was that timewe went because it took the
leaves a while to turn.
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 (33:22):
No.
So I just saw something today.
What was it today?
No, last night, this guy, thisis young black dude, and he he
talks about like agriculture andstuff, and he was like, when
y'all raking your leaves and umyou're you're doing your trees a
disservice because while they'regreen, they're developing
nutrients.

(33:42):
So when they fall to the ground,and those nutrients are broken
down into the ground to allowfor the grass.
And you said it about leaves?

SPEAKER_01 (33:52):
Keep going.
Yeah, when you said that.
And you told me that wasn't so.
Because they kill your grass.
That's what you told me.

SPEAKER_03 (34:01):
Yeah, they do kill your grass.

SPEAKER_01 (34:03):
But now, if the tree needed for nutrients, it's just
the tree, but not the grass.

SPEAKER_03 (34:08):
The tree needed for nutrients.

SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (34:10):
So what I'm saying is, I'm gonna start raking my
leaves up to the tree.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, instead of just leavingthem on the grass.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Because I know plenty of placeslike you go and people don't
rake their leaves up, and thatgrass be brown.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, under there.
And it die out.
Oh, okay.
And they ain't got time forthat.
Too expensive.

SPEAKER_00 (34:31):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 (34:32):
Yeah.
And that may, that may keep ourroots from crumbing up more
because the roots probablycoming up higher because they're
enough nutrients in the soil.

SPEAKER_01 (34:40):
That might be something.

SPEAKER_03 (34:41):
You know what I'm saying?
And it'll cut it'll cost, it'llbe coverage and follow it.

SPEAKER_00 (34:46):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 (34:46):
But all right, let's get down to it.
Um, so I love our little uhquestion segment.
Do you want to do questionsegment or you want to do some
stories in the news?

SPEAKER_01 (34:58):
Well, what we have been doing is doing the stories
in the news and then thequestions.

SPEAKER_03 (35:04):
Okay, go ahead.
Um, I got uh brain fall, ADHD,post-COVID.
Yeah, everything is sciatica.
You know, let's go.

SPEAKER_01 (35:13):
Well, okay, so we have several stories that we're
doing.

SPEAKER_03 (35:16):
Which one you want to do first?
Um you wanna want me to play thelittle clip about the officer?

SPEAKER_01 (35:23):
Are you ready?
Is the clip ready?

SPEAKER_03 (35:25):
I mean, I could get it ready.

SPEAKER_01 (35:27):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (35:28):
You know, while we're doing this.

SPEAKER_01 (35:29):
All right, so we have a clip of an officer.
Mm-hmm.
Tell me what he did.
I to my understanding, you couldtell me if I'm wrong.
You're wrong.
Uh he had to go before a judgebecause he had a drunk driving
thing.

SPEAKER_03 (35:46):
I don't know what he had to go for.
I didn't even pay attention.

SPEAKER_01 (35:49):
Yeah, so I believe he had like a drunk driving
thing.

SPEAKER_03 (35:53):
Reckless driving, and yeah, in public intoxication
case.

SPEAKER_01 (35:56):
Yeah, and so he had to go to court.

SPEAKER_03 (35:59):
Detroit he was an officer.

SPEAKER_01 (36:01):
Detroit police officer, I think last name
Jackson.

SPEAKER_03 (36:06):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (36:06):
Um, and so he had to go to court via Zoom.

SPEAKER_03 (36:11):
So here it is.
Uh a Detroit police officer lefta judge speechless when he
showed up for a Zoom hearingwearing his uniform top and
badge, but no pants.
Officer Matthew Jackson from theDetroit Police Department
appeared in a 36th districtcourt via Zoom on Monday for a
reckless driving and publicintoxication case, according to

(36:31):
a video of the hearing posted toYouTube.
However, when Mr.
Jackson appeared on camera, hewas wearing his official police
button-up uniform shirt, badge,and boxers, but no pants.
So let's hear a clipping ofthat.
A snip.

SPEAKER_00 (36:48):
Jackson, good morning to you.
Can you put your appearance onthe record, please?

SPEAKER_03 (36:52):
Yes, Officer Jackson, bath number 3919.
All right.

SPEAKER_00 (37:04):
You got you got some hands on sure.
No, sir.
Officer Jackson.
Um okay, Miss Lee.

SPEAKER_01 (37:19):
So Officer Jackson didn't realize he had his camera
down too low.

SPEAKER_00 (37:23):
Yeah, he didn't.

SPEAKER_01 (37:24):
But I don't understand why he didn't know
because if he was looking andlooking at himself, he would
see.
Wait, I can see my drones.

SPEAKER_03 (37:33):
Let me tell you why.

SPEAKER_01 (37:34):
Why he why didn't he use drawing?

SPEAKER_03 (37:35):
Come on now.
Officer Jackson was stillintoxicated.
Officer Jackson intoxicated.

SPEAKER_01 (37:42):
And he had on his police officer uniform at the
top and sitting there in hisbox.

SPEAKER_03 (37:45):
Sitting like this here, like wide open, like he
was ready to get in the game.

SPEAKER_01 (37:49):
Then once he realized they knew, then he
moved.

SPEAKER_03 (37:53):
That one lady, the video, that lady looking like.

SPEAKER_01 (37:56):
Is that his drum?

SPEAKER_03 (37:57):
I think she's like the court reporter or whatever.
She's looking like.
And then that's when the uh theuh judge he been looking at this
is it.
Wait, and it's not like he wasabout to say, what cuz?
Yeah, cuz you got I mean,Jackson, you got some uh you got
pants off.
So on top of that, leads me intoa question for you.

(38:19):
Yes.
Um, you know, the world haschanged with Zoom, and and and
and uh we heard that storyoriginally on The Breakfast
Club.
We listen to it every morning.
Um have there ever been a timewith all these Zooms and
whatever there is, well, evenlike when because you know you
was doing um Oh, my lessons.

SPEAKER_01 (38:40):
Counseling lessons.

SPEAKER_03 (38:41):
Counseling lessons, and you you was doing a uh
appearing uh you you you helpedSharita at classrooms.
Oh, yeah.
Stuff when Sharita teaches at uhUS University of Southern
California, she uh you are herguest speaker a lot of times.

SPEAKER_00 (38:57):
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (38:58):
And you were doing therapy sessions.
Um remember from with her inJersey therapy sessions.
And a lot of those were eveningtimes after you know your
exercise and you took a showerreal quick.
So has there ever been a momentwhere you were business at the
top and party at the bottom orbusiness at the top and relax at

(39:18):
the bottom?

SPEAKER_01 (39:19):
Um, no, uh I don't know because I always think if
you get up unexpectedly, umespecially well when I did my
counseling lessons, I was up andmoving because I want that was
like my way of keeping thestudents engaged in the lessons

(39:39):
because it was tough for them athome.
Yeah so no, I always got fullylike together and dressed for my
things.
I don't do the the top andbottom separate things.
Yeah.
Um with the clients, um nowsometimes for them it didn't
really matter.
Yeah, you didn't have to bedressed up, so that wasn't a big

(40:03):
deal.
So I could have on a t-shirt andsweats or something like that.
That wasn't like um a big dealin regards to that.
Yeah.
Now, the one thing I will saywith some of my clients, when
they would log on, they would belaying in the bed.

SPEAKER_03 (40:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (40:20):
And so I'm like, are you laying in the bed?

SPEAKER_03 (40:24):
I noticed that in my class when we were doing the um
um not my group therapysessions, but you know, a group
therapy class.
But like some we would have um,like we had to do, I think it
was a suicide class.
I mean not suicide class, asuicide course, um, like a

(40:44):
45-minute course, and thensomething else.
And it was like a lot of people.
And then they asked youquestions and stuff.
So you have people in the dark,you know, you have people, dogs
and cats laying right there ontheir shoulder, and like one
person out there on the patio,his and you could see his whole
thing, his flip flops and feetkicked up, and stuff like that.

(41:05):
And so I was like, you knowwhat, to each his own, I guess.
You know?

SPEAKER_01 (41:09):
I guess.

SPEAKER_03 (41:10):
Um, I never did the party.
Even when I did my dissertation,uh, my defense, uh uh, when I
did my defense for my doctorate,uh, I had on a whole suit.

SPEAKER_00 (41:21):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (41:21):
A whole suit.
But all they could see was righthere.

SPEAKER_00 (41:23):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 (41:24):
But I had on a whole suit, and um I was, you know,
just trying to make sure that Iwas ready for whatever too.

SPEAKER_01 (41:31):
Um But I think you you you to me, yes, it is
virtual, but to me, you shouldbe prepared as if you were in
that setting.
Yeah.
I I just think it should be thatway.
If you are a client in myoffice.

(41:53):
Yeah, it's your child and hisgirlfriend.

SPEAKER_03 (41:58):
Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (42:00):
Um, so um, if you have a client and my client is
in my office, you're not gonnabe laying down under the covers.

SPEAKER_00 (42:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (42:11):
So that part, we're not um doing that.

SPEAKER_03 (42:15):
But you let me let me tell you this.
Let me go back.
I guarantee you you're gonna seemore of it if we ever have to do
more virtual.
Because what do you see when youwalk around?
I don't know if you see it whenyou walk around.

SPEAKER_01 (42:28):
Oh, I see it when I come to the high schools.
They they have covers.

SPEAKER_03 (42:31):
Yes, blankets.

SPEAKER_01 (42:32):
They will have blankets with them, some of the
um no real shoes, like houseshoes, slippers.
They might be the Ug slippers.
Um, I see pajama pants.

SPEAKER_03 (42:45):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (42:45):
Pajama pants.

SPEAKER_03 (42:46):
So they'll be in it, they'll be in the classroom,
head on the desk, covered likethis.
And I and you know, I'll belike, hey, get up, get up, get
up.
Take your hood off, take your,you know, take your bonnet off,
take your blanket off.
You know, sit up.
And uh they upset that you tellthem to do that.
But some teachers don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 (43:05):
They just don't want to cause an issue.
They're fighting their battles.

SPEAKER_03 (43:07):
Yeah, they don't want the confrontation.
That's not a battle they want tofind out.
It's not a bad no, but it'sregardless, you It's not, it
should be an expectation.
Exactly.
So if you do it often enough,and they now they know this is
the expectation coming in, andthere's no wavering from it.
I don't care what everybody elsein their classes do, they know
this is the way it's done here.

SPEAKER_01 (43:27):
And I think to me, it's about I I know y'all have
heard me talk about buildingrelationships, but when you
build relationships withstudents, then you can have
those conversations with themand say, listen, yeah, you are
coming to school.
If you want to wear somethingcomfy, get some sweatpants.

(43:49):
But this whole blanket thing, weare not doing a blanket.

SPEAKER_03 (43:53):
So should okay, so I know you're saying building a
relationship.
I know we kind of jumping off alittle bit, but outside of the
relationship, it still shouldbe, it still should be
happening, right?
You don't have time to build arelationship.

SPEAKER_01 (44:08):
What do you mean?
Like, if I tell you, hey, ourpolicy says no blankets here,
um, so you don't have arelationship with that kid, and
so what what are you know I meanyou could I mean you still say
the things, but that's why I sayit makes it easier, it it it
will be less um, I don't sayit's not controversial, but when

(44:32):
when they're afraid of what theless back and forth back and
forth is gonna be.
Let's back and forth if you havea relationship.
Yes, that's what that's what I'msaying.
But if no, a policy, a policy isa policy.
But first, let's not even get tothe school part.
Let's get to the coming out thehouse part.

SPEAKER_03 (44:47):
Why you coming out of the house like that?

SPEAKER_01 (44:49):
Um, who dropped you off?
Who saw you walk out the housewith pajama pants, slippers, and
a blanket?
Because if you were in my carand I was dropping you off at
school, oh you can leave thatblanket.

SPEAKER_00 (45:02):
Leave that blanket here.

SPEAKER_01 (45:03):
You you can leave that blanket right here.
Um, if you were coming out of myhouse in the morning, going to
school, and if you let's say,because I know for our boys, we
were going to work at highschool and then they they got
themselves ready, you know, togo to school, drive themselves
to school, or but then somebefore they could drive, they

(45:23):
rode with you.
But anywho, if I came home, andthen you walk in the door, and
I'm like, that's what you wearat school.

SPEAKER_03 (45:33):
We gotta talk, yeah.
We gotta talk.

SPEAKER_01 (45:34):
So I just think that's just we have to um teach
them those things.
Cause I think for me, it's okaywith being comfortable.
I get that.
I mean, the sweatpants, tennisshoes, you know, that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 (45:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (45:48):
But it's just not appropriate to wear bed clothes.
Um blame period.
No, you that that's that's justunacceptable.

SPEAKER_03 (45:59):
And and and most people, you know, are tripping.
Why?
Because we're trying to teach astandard.
Because and and why I'm sayingthat to say this is because at
the the and I've seen that inthese kids, they get comfortable
doing so, and then when it'stime for us to have a banquet or
have whatever, and and I don'twant to pe hear people say, what

(46:20):
if they can't afford it?
Listen.
And I'm not counting nobody'spockets.
Okay, so stop asking for pajamasand ask for maybe some
sweatpants.

SPEAKER_01 (46:33):
Leggings.
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (46:35):
Um, there are inexpensive shoes that you can
get.
You know, there are things.
There, you know, um, so if youcan't afford it, what if your
job requires you to wear somekind of business attire?
I'm just saying.
Okay?
So you you know, you don't getyour check paid immediately.
So if we kind of teach thesekids how to dress and how to uh,

(46:58):
you know, come to an interview,you're gonna come to an
interview in your uh pajamas.

SPEAKER_01 (47:04):
And a bonnet.

SPEAKER_03 (47:05):
But what happens is, listen to this, they actually do
come unprepared.
They actually do go out in theseuh casual or business casual
environments or business uhformal environments dressed
inappropriately because notnecessarily they weren't taught,
but because they weren't um heldaccountable to do better.

(47:28):
They were told so, but theychose to do this because this is
what I want to do.
And then, you know, when it's aa certain setting, they actually
try to come there, and then theysay, Oh, they just tripping.
So I'm just saying, you know,um, if you are in the power,
have the power to do so withkids and inform them, look, you
know, let's make sure we dressappropriately and teach them why

(47:52):
you're doing this so they won'tjust think you're bullying, you
know, or you're just trying toshow your flex your parental
muscle or you know, and part ofit to me, what happens also at
schools why you do get the backand forth is because there isn't
consistency.

SPEAKER_01 (48:08):
I can go to Miss Jones' class and she doesn't say
anything to me about it.
Then I go to Dr.
Hare's class and he's like uhBut let me And so with with that
that's when you end up gettingthe back and forth because they
feel like well Dr.
Hare just picking on me becauseI done went all day with these
with this and nobody said athing.

SPEAKER_03 (48:27):
But and this is what I tell them.
I say, okay, what's the speedlimit on the interstate?
They'll say 60.
What's the speed limit in frontof the school?
35?
Exactly.
What goes on one spot may not goon in the other spot.
So if in my classroom, this iswhat we do in their classroom,
it's probably what they do.
So understand where you're goingand understand the rules are

(48:50):
accordingly.
So I don't want to hear that.
Well, they don't.
Okay, you take your butt infront of this school, drive 65,
or when the um police rightthere and the um school zone.
See what happened.

SPEAKER_01 (49:02):
That reminds me of this principal that was on
TikTok and he was having uh kindof like a parent workshop, I
think is what it was.
And he was saying that parentsdo their children a disservice
when you don't um prepare themfor being able to behave in

(49:24):
multiple spaces, not just yourhome.
You have to think about whenyou're parenting them what would
what what kind of behavior dothey need at school, what kind
of behavior do they need out ina restaurant, what kind of
behavior do they need in themovies?
What kind of behavior do theyneed if they go into the
shopping at a grocery store?
Um, and so parents need to thinkabout um when they are raising

(49:49):
and doing all the things fortheir children, how to prepare
them to be able to behave and umand appropriate in more places
than just your home.
So when they come to school andthere are rules and there and
they have to be, andexpectations because there are

(50:10):
24 kids in a classroom orhowever many kids in a
classroom.
So you have to have some type oforder and expectation so that
those um that you're that asparents, you have to understand
that so that when your childcan't meet the expectation, and
we've expressed it to you, andwe we're working with your
child, but there is no change orshift, then we have to go with

(50:34):
policy.
Right.
And if policy means your childhas to go home, then see you
later, Pleo.
Yes, and so I love that he saidthat just the part about raising
your children and thinking abouttheir behavior, not just in your
home.
Right.
If you took them from your homeand you went other places, would

(50:56):
they be all right?

SPEAKER_03 (50:57):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (50:57):
Would they be appropriate?
So I just love that he sharedthat with parents because that's
just such a great tip forparents to think about.

SPEAKER_03 (51:03):
Okay, let's move on to the next.
And we didn't even get to thepart that I wanted to talk
about.
About uh have we experiencedbecause I've experienced some
crazy stuff online, but we'lltalk that another day, another
time.
What is the the other story wewanted to talk about?

SPEAKER_01 (51:17):
Was it about the this was the um new segment?
Yes, he has a new segment thathe's created, but it's in honor
of Colitha Johnson.

SPEAKER_03 (51:29):
Colitha Johnson, Colete.

SPEAKER_01 (51:31):
Colleet, that's one of my best friends.
Um she um I always will, if sheand I are talking, and I said, I
just can't believe it, Colleen.
And she said, believe it,sister.

SPEAKER_03 (51:44):
So So this segment is called Believe It System.
All right, believe it, sister,and believe it, sister is uh
will be stories that we willhear from time to time that
people will be like, I can'tbelieve that.
And then when you say I can'tbelieve that, what you gonna
say?

SPEAKER_01 (52:00):
Believe it, sister.

SPEAKER_03 (52:01):
All right, so shout out to Khalit.

SPEAKER_01 (52:03):
All right, so there um are these parents, they are
par two parents to a 12-year-oldson.

SPEAKER_00 (52:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (52:11):
Um the son went to school, yeah.
Um came home and realized, camehome, they lived in an
apartment.
The parents had packed up.

SPEAKER_03 (52:24):
You're reading the summary, you're just gonna tell
it.
Oh, I'm just gonna go.
No, you can always say you cango ahead.

SPEAKER_01 (52:28):
The parents had packed up and moved.

SPEAKER_03 (52:33):
My buddy was in school.

SPEAKER_01 (52:34):
I'm talking about packed up the whole apartment,
moved out, and left him.
But here is the crazy part.
The baby knew when I first readit, and it said he went to
school, back to school, um, wentstraight to his principal, all
this.
I was like, hey, I wonder how heknew, like, that's what I was
supposed to do.

(52:54):
Yo, you want to know why thisbaby knew to do that?
Because this is not the firsttime they done packed up and
left him.
Yeah.
So that's why he knew what todo.
And so um, they this is repeatedbehavior for them.
They trying to find, I guess, atime where he won't find them

(53:15):
and nobody will find them.
And so they lied and told thepolice or the school they had
told the their her brother.
The mom said her brother, hisuncle was supposed to pick him
up, but when they called theuncle and aunt, they were like,
No, this is the first we'veheard of it.
This is the first we've heardabout this.

SPEAKER_03 (53:31):
Picking them up from school.

SPEAKER_01 (53:32):
So they got um CPS involved.
Of course, CPS filed um chargesof neglect and all of that.

SPEAKER_03 (53:39):
But they released them, him to them.
The boyfriend.
Yeah, the boyfriend.

SPEAKER_01 (53:45):
Oh, the bo okay.
Yes.
Like if you read it, it says Buthe was the one who also, but
he's not the parent, so I guessthat's why.

SPEAKER_03 (53:51):
The reason, but I'm saying the reason why they
release him, the little boy, tothe dad.
I mean, the dad, though.
The stepdad kind of.
Yeah, the stepdad.
The stepdad went to pick him up.
They released him to him becausehe has, they're living with him
and who else?
They who is Is it his sisterthey're leaving with now?

(54:12):
Because uh they they got anotherplace, and they said that he's
not no, yeah, he got anotherplace.
The man's stepdad, he's not athis house.
So the boy's not welcome there.

SPEAKER_00 (54:24):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 (54:24):
Yeah, so it's maybe on the full story.
Okay, and the floor.
So the boy's not welcome there.
So he's like, where is he gonnastay?
He said, Well, he can stay herefor now, but we're gonna have to
figure something out.

SPEAKER_00 (54:33):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 (54:34):
So the little boy has nowhere to stay.

SPEAKER_00 (54:36):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 (54:36):
Yeah, and and the stepdad is the one that picked
him up from the police station.
It's like, why would you releasethem too if you know he already
left them and he's alreadysaying he can stay now, but he
got to find somewhere else togo.
And not once did they say thelittle boy was delinquent or all
kinds of things like that in thestory at all.
They didn't say that.
They normally would say that hewas, you know, in trouble all
the time and they didn't saythat.
It just said that he, thestepdad, does not want kids

(54:59):
right now.

SPEAKER_01 (54:59):
Yeah.
And so just thinking for the forthe son, I'm just thinking, I if
this is done multiple times,like this is not the first time
they done packed up and moved umwithout him, yeah, why haven't
they just taken him out of thehome?

SPEAKER_03 (55:16):
Right.
Well, maybe, maybe, maybe nobodyelse got involved before.

SPEAKER_01 (55:21):
Uh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 (55:22):
You know what I mean?
Maybe authorities and whatevernot have didn't get involved in
the world.

SPEAKER_01 (55:26):
And maybe this is the first time CPS has been
involved.

SPEAKER_03 (55:28):
Somebody else, because the principal didn't say
this is not the first time it'shappened.
You know?
But but also, this goes back towhat we said uh maybe two
episodes ago.
How soon is it?
Should you introduce your personto your kids?
Because this joker here, he, youknow, did he was he faking the
funk when he met the little boy?
Or, you know, did he not know?

(55:48):
Or he's like, I don't want nokids.

SPEAKER_01 (55:50):
Now let me tell you about some of these mamas.

SPEAKER_03 (55:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (55:54):
Some people just want the companionship in a man
so bad that they are willing.
Now if you know that.
If you are willing to pack upand move and leave a 12-year-old
behind.

SPEAKER_03 (56:12):
12-year-old, not no adult.

SPEAKER_01 (56:14):
No, a 12-year-old behind, then certainly you
really didn't care if thatperson or partner or man or
woman you met liked your childor not, because you're willing
to leave your abandon yourchild.

SPEAKER_03 (56:27):
That's that is a show.
Her punish, she should be, theyshould punish her by having her
stand in front something andjust ram into her Achilles with
a grocery basket.
Like five times.

SPEAKER_01 (56:42):
Five times.

SPEAKER_03 (56:42):
Like when she ain't expecting it.

SPEAKER_01 (56:44):
I and and I think I feel so sad.

SPEAKER_03 (56:46):
Right there we hit that little heel bone, too.

SPEAKER_01 (56:48):
I feel so sad for the baby because just imagine
nobody wanting you.

SPEAKER_00 (56:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (56:55):
And and and to know that my family actually packed
up and left me because theydidn't want me.

SPEAKER_03 (57:05):
How bad did they not want him?
Because moving anywhere is takessomething.
Moving makes you uh think yourlife.
I mean they Whether you'repacking up an apartment or
anything, you'd be like, oh, Ihate moving.
And they move.
Move, moved.
They moved.
So they did something that thewhole world hates to do.

SPEAKER_01 (57:27):
Land.
Yes.
Because they did it.

SPEAKER_03 (57:30):
In secrecy.

SPEAKER_01 (57:31):
In secrecy before just during the school day.

SPEAKER_03 (57:36):
They probably didn't have no furniture.

SPEAKER_01 (57:38):
No, they might have had no furniture.

SPEAKER_03 (57:39):
They probably, they probably had, they probably had.

SPEAKER_01 (57:41):
Oh, they didn't have much.

SPEAKER_03 (57:42):
Nope.
They probably had uh didn't haveno dinner table.
They ate at the uh apartmentcountertop, and they probably
had one sofa.
Or there was probably a foodton, you know, folded food ton
that was in the living room.
And then the bedroom, theyprobably had a bed with the
little collapsible uh metalframes, and then towels, and
they may have probably aboutthree towels that were black, um

(58:06):
a couple pots of paint, because,you know, nasty, because if they
that kind of people, they nasty,they don't really wash like they
supposed to wash.
So they didn't have much.
They put everything they had inthe uh in a uh 98, 99 suburban.

SPEAKER_01 (58:22):
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (58:22):
They put it in there.

SPEAKER_01 (58:23):
Now here's something else I was thinking about.
Like um.

SPEAKER_03 (58:29):
They didn't get no deposit back because I know the
carpet was nasty.

SPEAKER_01 (58:32):
No, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (58:33):
Horrible carpet.

SPEAKER_01 (58:35):
I forgot the thing I was thinking of.

SPEAKER_03 (58:37):
And all the stains on the stove, refrigerator was
probably nasty.

SPEAKER_01 (58:41):
Oh, here's the thing I was thinking of.
Okay.
You know how people could dropbabies off at the fire station.
Can you drop a 12-year-old off?

SPEAKER_03 (58:49):
I'm sure you can.

SPEAKER_01 (58:50):
They should have just if you don't want them,
just drop the baby off at theum.

SPEAKER_03 (58:55):
They weren't trying to do that.

SPEAKER_01 (58:57):
I thought any person, and I don't know if this
is the law in every state, but Ithought if you feel like you
cannot take care of your childor whatever, you don't even have
to give a reason.

SPEAKER_03 (59:09):
Yeah, I don't know either, but I'm sure you can.

SPEAKER_01 (59:11):
You don't even have to give a reason you can drop
them off at the fire, I thought,like fire police station, and
you can do it without a reason.

SPEAKER_03 (59:21):
I thought that was filed.

SPEAKER_01 (59:24):
That is, and I think for a baby, I mean a baby
wouldn't even know, but for apoor 12-year-old, my goodness.
Yeah, I feel so sorry for him,but that was trifling.

SPEAKER_00 (59:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (59:34):
And um, so she her charges were third-degree felony
charge for intentionallyabandoning a child under 15
without intent to return.
Yep.
That was.
So okay, so can you abandon a 15year old?
I mean, like if they weresixteen.
Oh yeah, because it's sixteen.

SPEAKER_03 (59:54):
You can abandon anybody.

SPEAKER_01 (59:55):
I mean, but I mean without without it being um a
charge.
So if they feel if they're 15and older.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:04):
It depends on that state's age of what it's
considered to be, you know, anadult.
But I know in most states at 15you can do um what is it called
when you want to get away fromyour parents?
What do they file for?

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:16):
Emancipation.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:17):
Yeah, emancipation.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:18):
So this poll, I mean, I just feel so sorry for
me, me.
Literally, in three years, theygone, gone.
So I don't know the baby's name.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:31):
Yeah.
They ain't gonna put the babyname in the city.
No, because it's a minor.
But I'm glad they arrested them.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:38):
In three years, he's gonna be on his own.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:41):
Hell, but it might be the husband, the boy,
whatever he is, might be gone.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:45):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:00:46):
May every day she go to the grocery store, she be hit
in the back of the hill with ashopping cart.
For the rest of her life.
That is a repurgatory.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:55):
I hope they remove him from the home and he is able
to be displaced with some fosterparents and end up adopting him
and loving on him.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:05):
And he ends up financially secure.
Yeah.
And they come back to the house.
Hey son, remember remember us?

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:11):
And then he's like, I've been waiting for you.
Hold on one second.
Let me go to my garage.
And he got a shopping cart inthere.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:18):
And hit in the back of the meal.
Bah.
Yep.
Get him.
And the old knucklehead.
And you know how the old mantake out their head.
Yeah, so I've seen you've beendoing good at school and
everything.
Uh, won't you help your old manout?
I'ma help you out.
Get out of my house.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:35):
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:36):
Smelling like burnt motor oil.
Go with it and fix a$5,15-minute lube.
That's what he need to do.

unknown (01:01:47):
A what?

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:48):
15-minute lube, because that's what he's doing.
He just uh he probably workingat the oil lube place and not
even a real worker.
He one of them people that'sdoing like two hours just
something.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:00):
I believe it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:01):
Shady, just not no good.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:03):
Making your oil got changed and it did.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:05):
Right.
Just no good trifling.
No offense to anybody working atthe oil lube place.
But you working therelegitimately.
He ain't working therelegitimately.
Trifling woman.
Oh, trifling.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:19):
Look at him.
They look trifling, don't they?

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:21):
They look trifling.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:23):
Look at her.
And look at him.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:25):
Mm-hmm.
Oh, bust.
Bust.
Let me see one more time.
Look at him.
Oh, half-eye.
His eye, one of his eyes ain'teven working right.
Look like them old uh Toyota.
Remember Toyota Cella?
Because probably like a uh 8S7.
When he used to have them lightsused to flash like that, one of

(01:02:48):
his lights flashes like that.
That's what he looked like.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:52):
We can talk about him because he's trifling.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:54):
Yeah, he's trifling.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:56):
Oh, raggedy self.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:57):
Oh, Buster.
Buster Brown.
Alright, so let's get on so wecan do what we gotta do for the
rest of the day.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen,we've been talking for quite a
while now, and we're gonna splitthis episode up into two parts.
So, for part one, we reallyappreciate you for sticking with

(01:03:18):
us.
Stay tuned for part two.
This is Kefla.
This is Greek.
And this is the RefreshinglyNormal Podcast.
Part two soon come.