From Conferences To Classroom Hugs: Restorative Practice, Relationships, And Real Life

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_05 (00:03):
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_07 (00:24):
Welcome back, you guys.
This is Kefla.

SPEAKER_00 (00:28):
This is Crete.

SPEAKER_07 (00:30):
And we are the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.
Thank you so much for tuning inwith us every week, week in,
week out, day in, day out,allowing us to roll with you to
work, back from work.
Hopefully, we give you a littlemore cheer in your day.
So hey, you see what she thinksabout y'all.

SPEAKER_01 (00:51):
Oh my gosh, that's not so.

SPEAKER_07 (00:54):
Okay, so moving right along.

SPEAKER_01 (00:56):
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (00:57):
How was your week?

SPEAKER_01 (00:59):
Um, so my week was good.
I went to my conference.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04):
Okay, how was it?

SPEAKER_01 (01:05):
Um, it was really, really good.
Um the they had they chose somegreat keynote speakers.
So that's always nice.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18):
That is.

SPEAKER_01 (01:19):
Um, and then it's just um to be like to want to do
restorative practices, it'sreally like a mind set shift,
really.
It's just a different way ofthinking.
So people who like really buyinto restorative practice and

(01:40):
understand, I say the power of acircle, but they understand um
the impact restorative practicecan have in people's lives.
Um, people who are those people,it's just a different vibe um
there.
So um it was just a good vibe tobe around, you know, peep those

(02:01):
people.
And then um I will say like it'sreally people say like
touchy-feely, but it's really alot of feels in it.
So um I did find like being inthe um sessions, there were like
three sessions a day, plus likethe opening speakers, and they

(02:25):
had some other like events inthe evening, but um, you really
did have to like decompressafter.

SPEAKER_04 (02:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (02:33):
Um at the end of the day.
So um I did my run and exerciseafter and then um watched some
things on TV.

SPEAKER_07 (02:45):
Well, you watched one thing that didn't let you
decompress.
No, it really didn't.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 (02:51):
Well, well, kinda, because it wasn't touchy filly
at all.

SPEAKER_07 (02:54):
It was like But it's not it's not a movie for
decompressing.

SPEAKER_01 (02:59):
No, well No, it it is not.

SPEAKER_07 (03:01):
It isn't The Perfect Neighbor on Netflix is not what
you want to watch when you'retrying to calm down.

SPEAKER_01 (03:08):
No, no, that is true.

SPEAKER_07 (03:09):
And if you know what that is, that movie is, or well,
it's a movie, but it's uh uhdepicting the.

SPEAKER_01 (03:15):
It's really a documentary, kind of like
anywho.
I did watch that one evening.

SPEAKER_07 (03:19):
Right.
So you probably should have goneand ran right after that.

SPEAKER_01 (03:22):
Yeah, I probably should have watched that first
and then ran.
But anywho, the conference wasgreat.
All the sessions, typically whenyou go to conferences, you know,
you get some sessions whereyou're like, Lord have mercy.

SPEAKER_04 (03:36):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (03:36):
But um I enjoyed all of the sessions.
I was able to take somethingaway from each of the sessions.
So I'm excited to add it to umwhat I'd do, my day-to-day, but
also information I can sharewith others when I do my
trainings.

(03:57):
And so, yeah, so it was reallygood.
Um now, I guess because most ofthe time me and this guy are
together.
We are together often.
A lot.
So the first night of beingthere, I did not sleep well at
all.
So the first night, I just gotall in my head too much.

(04:21):
So when we had our conference,when we went to a conference
earlier in the summer, I went toa conference with some of my
colleagues.

SPEAKER_04 (04:29):
You went in Savannah?

SPEAKER_01 (04:30):
Yes.
Okay.
And um, I did not sleep wellthere either.
I felt like there was a ghost inmy room.
Yeah, you stop all that ghost.
And so um, I just had like eeriethings that happened to me
there.
And so when I got to Chattanoogain the room by myself, I was

(04:52):
like, oh Lord, what if there areghosts here?
Anywho, I got all in my head.
And so um I didn't close thecurtains, I kept the curtains
open, not realizing like I facedout towards the highway.
So consistently there were like,first I didn't realize it
because you know, at some point,it's kind of quiet.

(05:13):
But then I was like, What isthat flashing lights?
They kept flashing, flashing,flashing.
And it was just lights frompeople's cars.
But then I was like, I don'twant it to be completely dark
here.

SPEAKER_05 (05:25):
You're coming from the highway.

SPEAKER_01 (05:26):
No lights.
I just did not sleep well.
That first night, I did notsleep well at all.
So the next night I figured out,okay, this is how I'm gonna
sleep this night.
So and that night, um, the roomhad the flat screen, and then
behind it was like a woodenboard that lights go around that
wooden board, very like uh uhambient lighting.

(05:49):
Yeah, it was like around thewhole thing.
Right.
So I was like, I'll keep thatlight on.
But that was too much.
I didn't sleep well that nightbecause it was like a little bit
too much light, and uh the airwasn't working in the hotel.
And they supposedly fixed it,but it was not fixed.
So it wasn't hot, hot becauseit's being cooler, but it just

(06:10):
wasn't like air conditioning.

SPEAKER_07 (06:12):
Perfectly comfortable.

SPEAKER_01 (06:13):
Yes.
So I didn't sleep well on Mondaynight.
So then Tuesday night I said,okay, I know what I'm gonna do.
I will turn the bathroom lighton and kind of do the door a
little bit.
So Tuesday night, I finally gotsome decent rest um on Tuesday

(06:33):
night.
So today I really felt liketired.
Like I came home and took a nap.
Um, but I didn't really feeltired because I didn't sleep
well.
Um, and I still got, you know,attended all my sessions, did
all the things, still exercisedevery day, just trying to keep
myself going.

(06:54):
But yeah, I didn't get goodsleep.

SPEAKER_07 (06:56):
Should have came home, took you some magnesium
gummies.

SPEAKER_01 (06:58):
Well, to I did last night.
So last night, of course, I'm inmy own bed and my protector is
there, so I felt slept.
So I slept very well.
So last night I slept well.
I was like, man, I really feltlike I really needed just today
to like stay home and sleep.
But of course, I had to work.

SPEAKER_04 (07:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (07:20):
So, anywho, so that was really good.
And today I got to go back andwork with some middle high
schoolers.
One of those.
And you did both middle andmiddle school?
No, I did middle school.

SPEAKER_06 (07:34):
Middle high school.

SPEAKER_01 (07:36):
All right, then I worked with the middle schoolers
today.
They were amazing.

SPEAKER_07 (07:43):
That's good.

SPEAKER_01 (07:44):
Yeah.
Um, I really, really, reallyenjoy them a whole lot.
So I have a new favorite highschool, and now I have a new
favorite middle school.
Um, they were just so umengaged.
They had their connection to thecon, like what we were talking

(08:09):
about.
Like you didn't have to, itwasn't like pulling teeth.
Everybody wanted to get to thepoint where you're like, okay,
we got too many people want toshare.
And so you couldn't hear fromeverybody, but they all wanted
to share and participate, andthey wanted to have a good time.
And when I left, one of themiddle school boys came and he

(08:30):
gave me a hug.
He says, Thank you so much fortoday, Miss Cree.
Oh, and he said, Can I give youa hug?
I said, Yeah.
And another of the young girlscame by and did the same thing.
And so, um, yeah, yeah.
So it was really um, it was theywere really good.
So even though I was tiredbecause of how they were so

(08:51):
involved and excited andparticipating, um, I couldn't
get tired.

SPEAKER_07 (08:57):
No, no, they're not gonna let you.

SPEAKER_01 (08:59):
Yeah, they didn't let me get tired.
So um, yeah, it was a good, goodday today.

SPEAKER_07 (09:03):
Well, that's good.
Sound like an interesting week.

SPEAKER_01 (09:06):
Yes, it was an interesting week.

SPEAKER_07 (09:08):
Yeah, my week started off good.
I I went to the gym Monday.
Had a my well, my back washurting Monday, but I still went
to the gym.
I did a leg day, it's always onMonday because normally it's
chess day for the world.
That's what they call it,universal chess day is on
Monday.
And so I always go legs firstbecause one, you won't ever be

(09:31):
able to use a chess machine.
So I always do my legs becausenobody's doing legs because they
don't want their legs sore forthe week.
Um, but I was careful in what Ido.
Like I don't I don't do squatwith the bar anymore just to
protect my um my body as you'regetting older.
So I like if I'm doing squats, Ieither do goblet squats or uh

(09:52):
just dumbbell, what they callsuitcase squats, um, or
machines.
But I mean, and my back wasn'thurting at all.
And then but when I got home,uh, it just started hurting so
bad.
And um I couldn't even finishcooking.
Like I well, I cooked, but I Ididn't cook what I wanted to
cook.

(10:12):
And so I was like, oh, I'mhurting.
And so I took the uh musclerelaxer that the doctor gave me,
the newer surgeon gave me for.
And man, that thing had me sosleepy.
I was sleepy in the kitchen.
Cause I took it when I when Istart first started feeling it,
because they was like, anytimeyou feel it, don't let it get
too bad before you take it.

(10:34):
And and I fell asleep.
I was I was drowsy while I wascooking.
I was like, I ain't never feltlike that.
And I came upstairs and I used aphone roller and fell asleep on
the phone roller.
Crazy.
On the phone roller, I fellasleep.
And so then um I moved the phoneroller out of the way, and I was

(10:56):
like in what they call like theuh, what is that position?
Like frog position?
Mm-hmm.
You know, where you own it's akick down.
Yeah, and so I'm laying downlike that, and next thing you
know, I heard myself snoring onthe floor.
And with my head, like my handswere back behind me up on my
neck like that, snoring.
I was out.

SPEAKER_01 (11:17):
That's not like a good, comfortable position.

SPEAKER_07 (11:20):
It's not, but I was so out that I did it didn't feel
uncomfortable.
And so my leg has been hurtingall week.
Today it wasn't as bad duringthe day, but it's just in spurts
with my leg and my back.
So I think it's part of thesciatica in the um IT band.
So that's what I've been tryingto roll that.
But um, besides that, I was veryproductive this week with

(11:41):
preparing for this one IEP I hadtoday.
Did a good job on that.
Um I gotta do another one nextTuesday and then prepare for
another one after that the nextweek.
Um But I my goal is like Ididn't go to the gym at all
besides Monday.
I'm not going tomorrow becauseI'm really trying to make sure

(12:03):
I'm really listening to my body.
And I and you know, one week isnot gonna negate everything.
Um but I'm just upset because Ihad an amazing week last week.
No pain, no nothing.
Last week was an amazing week.
I don't know.
But I had an amazing week.
So I'm I'm gonna get that weekback next week.

SPEAKER_01 (12:23):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (12:23):
And uh my classes start again um this week.
So I got I got some work to do.
My goal is to have the work doneby uh Sunday morning.
So I'm gonna do a little bittomorrow and some Saturday um so
that I can not be stressed aboutdoing it on Sunday.

(12:45):
And I'll be finished soon.
Uh this time next year I shouldbe done with everything.

SPEAKER_01 (12:50):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (12:50):
It's just uh, you know, taking that that test.
What's that big test called?

SPEAKER_01 (12:54):
The NCE?

SPEAKER_07 (12:55):
Yeah, the NCE National Council.

SPEAKER_01 (13:00):
It's not too bad.

SPEAKER_07 (13:00):
Nah, that's what they say.
As long as I study the purplebook, they say.
Study the purple book, they sayyou buy the book.
I got the audio book, too.

SPEAKER_04 (13:07):
I got the book.

SPEAKER_07 (13:07):
People say start listening to it, you know, when
you do the internship, yeah.
Yeah.
Start listening to it.
So I got that.
Uh what else this week?
Still fooling with my memory onmy my i mean my iPhone and the
memory on my MacBook because alot of the stuff is in the
cloud, but when I try to take alot of that stuff from in my

(13:30):
documents and whatever and putit on a flash drive, it wants
to, it has to download from thecloud, but I can't get enough
space on the MacBook so that itcan download from the cloud to
the MacBook to the flash drive.

SPEAKER_04 (13:43):
So I don't know how to hell.

SPEAKER_07 (13:45):
I I don't either.
I'm just still trying.
So anybody out there, any of mytech, my tech gurus, man, it's
is it's frustrating.
But one thing I just figured outis I gotta reformat some of the
flash drives I purchased.
I purchased two little smallflash drives that got a USB-C.
So I have to reformat that inorder to accept certain kind of

(14:07):
video files.
And that stressed me out becauseI already got documents on that
now.
And so that means I gotta eitherput them on a new flash drive or
delete.
I mean not delete, yeah.
When you format, you delete itanyway.
And anyway, no tech talk foryou, so you already toned out
how rude.

SPEAKER_01 (14:27):
I done toned out.
What you want me to say?
I don't know nothing about andhey, it's okay.
Flash drives and from the cloudto the hard drive to the Mac to
the McDonald's.
I don't even know.

SPEAKER_06 (14:42):
It's okay.
You can learn.

SPEAKER_01 (14:45):
Okay.

SPEAKER_06 (14:46):
It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 (14:47):
All right.

SPEAKER_06 (14:48):
Well, that's what happened with me this week.

SPEAKER_01 (14:54):
Why is it?
Let's move on.

SPEAKER_07 (14:57):
Oh my gosh.
It's crazy.
Let's talk about uh well, let'sget some good questions.
Oh, I had a story.

SPEAKER_00 (15:05):
What?
The lady that shot somebody atover because they hunked at her
at the at the stop.

SPEAKER_07 (15:10):
Yes, I had that that I sent you.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (15:14):
Craziness.

SPEAKER_07 (15:15):
Yeah.
Remember, I said, don't behonking your horn.

SPEAKER_01 (15:17):
Yeah, he does tell me that.
There was a lady, I think shewas in Indiana.

SPEAKER_07 (15:22):
Yep.
And she was at the at the greenlight.

SPEAKER_01 (15:25):
On her phone, probably.

SPEAKER_07 (15:27):
Yep.
And uh the light turned green.

SPEAKER_01 (15:30):
And she didn't go.

SPEAKER_07 (15:31):
So the young man, he was, how old was that kid?
He was like 19 or 21 orsomething like that.
Within that age, he was a youngguy.
Hunked the horn, and then wentaround the lady.
So the lady got pissed andfollowed him and shot through
the rear passenger door.
So on the, oh, she was on theother side.

SPEAKER_03 (15:49):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 (15:50):
Shot through the rear.
So coming from this way, and itshot him, and it uh it tore
through his lungs and his, Ithink they said his liver and
his lungs.
Oh.
That's where the police are.
They killed him.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, and it um they uh called911 because his girlfriend was
in the car.

SPEAKER_03 (16:08):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 (16:08):
Called 911, the police got there, and um, I want
to say he died en route.

SPEAKER_01 (16:13):
Oh, to the hospital.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 (16:15):
And so they got the information from uh the girl and
from some uh traffic cameras.

SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
Uh-huh.
Oh, traffic cameras.

SPEAKER_07 (16:24):
Uh-huh.
And when they found the girl,the girl was trying to take some
stickers off her car.

SPEAKER_01 (16:29):
To uh Oh, when they pulled up.

SPEAKER_07 (16:31):
Yeah, they would say she had she had already taken
something off the car, some kindof like something that we
identified.
Uh-huh.
And they was like, oh, so she'strying to get cover this up.
And then when they got there andthey they uh she she told them
that the gun was in her room ina purse.
And it was the gun that matchedthe caliber of the bullet that
was uh uh dislodged.

(16:53):
I think it was what found in thecar or whatever.
But uh Wow Yep for honking ahorn at the red light.
And now her she ain't gottaworry about no more red lights.

SPEAKER_01 (17:02):
No.

SPEAKER_07 (17:02):
Green lights or nothing.

SPEAKER_01 (17:04):
Not at all.
Like is it even that serious?
Because I'm certain for mostpeople who don't go, because I
think we all, well, I won't saywe all, but many of us can say
that we're there's a point whereone time we might have been in
our phone and Or just not payingattention.
Not paying attention and sittingat the at the green light and
not going.

(17:24):
And when somebody hunks at me, Idon't get mad.
I just go, oh, I raised my handand say sorry and keep on going
because you should have gone.
The light was green.

SPEAKER_07 (17:32):
Yeah, especially like you know, when I'm on my
way to work and there's that onelight was on my way to work and
then the one coming from goingright.
Yeah, you take a right and it'slike it's just an always
constant green light.
Yeah.
And people don't know and theyhave traffic way.

SPEAKER_01 (17:47):
It's like the lane's supposed to keep moving.
Yeah.
You just keep moving.
You don't have to see it.

SPEAKER_07 (17:50):
Even right here by Kroger, that thing says, Yeah,
it says keep moving.
And nobody's paying attention.
They're not even looking at thesigns.
They don't look at the lightwith the arrow pointing.
And so sometimes you hear peoplejust honking.
And if I'm honking at somebody,I honk when there's like a car
and then another car, and thenI'm behind them.
So then I honk with the colour.

SPEAKER_01 (18:09):
So you'll be the reason they get shot.
Maybe.
Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_07 (18:13):
But I honk, because I did that today.
Uh this car was, I mean, we wassitting there.
And I was like, yo, but it'salways like on my way to work.
The the uh the light that's nearthe new Well Star urgent care
turns towards the school.
It's always kids.
So they won't go because theywant they want it clear 100%.

SPEAKER_01 (18:36):
Oh, that's scary.

SPEAKER_07 (18:37):
Yeah, and so I'm like, Don't need to be driving.
No, you don't need to be drivingyet.
And so today, like, I mean, hewas just sitting there and you
could see him doing like this.
So I was like, man.
I was like, go.

SPEAKER_01 (18:49):
You hunk out?

SPEAKER_07 (18:50):
I hung, but I was behind another car.

SPEAKER_01 (18:51):
Oh, well, if you would have scared him, he would
have gone out and crashed.

SPEAKER_07 (18:54):
He wouldn't have crashed.
Oh, because there was nothingcoming.

SPEAKER_01 (18:56):
Oh, nothing was coming.
Right.

SPEAKER_07 (18:58):
So if he would have crashed, he would have crashed
into the other side of thestreet.
Okay.
So I was like, go.

SPEAKER_01 (19:03):
Yeah, you don't need to be talking about it.
Don't need to be driving.
I'm just saying, they mm-mm.

SPEAKER_07 (19:08):
Oh, trust me, I like I have students that are always
saying, Coach Hare, Dr.
Hare, uh, my car is in the shop.
I said, You just had yeah, I hitsomething else.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, but they got money likethis.

SPEAKER_01 (19:19):
It's almost like this lady I saw on TikTok today.
Her daughter was doing herdriving test.
So she was outside.
She says, Y'all, I think she'son her way back.
I think that's her coming back.
And so uh she the girl wascoming back and her mama's
recording her.
She goes, Okay, I know shepassed.
She passed.
All right, she's going over thepark.
All right, y'all, let's go.
So her mama's walking over toher where she's parking, and all

(19:41):
of a sudden you hear somethinggo bang, bang.
She parked and ran into themetal fence.

SPEAKER_07 (19:48):
So she didn't park.

SPEAKER_01 (19:50):
And so the man said, Oh, uh, it's okay.
The guy doing the test, he goes,Yeah, she just she accidentally
ran into the fence.
And so that video they postedtoday was seven years ago.
It says where the girl was like,where you um didn't pass your
driving test.
But yep, and she did.
I was like, Yep, she didn't needto drive a slice because

(20:10):
goodness gracious, you just parkit in the space.

SPEAKER_07 (20:13):
Yeah, them kids they can't drive.
Somebody hit uh one of ourcoaches' trucks the other day on
a Saturday.
They had like uh pictures orsomething like that, and
somebody hit his truck and tookoff.
It was parked there by where Inormally park the Jeep.
It's part right there, somebodyhit that truck.
I said, Oh, shoot.

SPEAKER_01 (20:32):
And coming out of a high school, I know sometimes we
I do my best if we train at ahigh school to try to get out of
there.
Yeah, out of that parking lot,either.
The kids crazy when they driveor wait till after they dismiss
because they drive crazy becausesome of them trying to show off.

SPEAKER_07 (20:51):
Yep.
And then they're on theirphones, some of them on their
phones, some of them drivingcrazy, some of them can't drive.

SPEAKER_01 (20:57):
Yeah, some of them can't drive, so it's like it's
you you need them to turn, butthey also timid about turning
that you never get out theparking lot because they also
timid about going.

SPEAKER_07 (21:07):
And then they wait till the last minute to go, and
now you can't go when they couldhave gone and everybody could
have gone yet.

SPEAKER_01 (21:14):
Everybody could have gone.
And so they do that often.
Yeah, so we train in highschool.
If I if I get out, try to getout there before those high
schoolers get on the road, or Isaid I'll just wait till y'all
are done because it is a mess.

SPEAKER_07 (21:27):
Yeah, I try to leave when everybody's gone.
Like 345.
By then everybody's gone.
Yeah.
Because athletes are, you know,where they need to be.
The kids are already a long lineand foul out, so I'm like, okay,
let me go ahead and get out ofhere now.

SPEAKER_01 (21:41):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_07 (21:41):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (21:42):
A mess.

SPEAKER_07 (21:42):
All right, so let's let's get on some of those great
questions, uh, part two of thosequestions that we had.

SPEAKER_01 (21:48):
Part two, okay.
All right.

SPEAKER_07 (21:52):
Um I think I had another story too that I was
gonna send, but I don't know.
I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 (22:01):
Oh, I have one that brought up something for me.
Okay.
When is it acceptable to callthem babe?
Because last time our questionswere like relationship.
Um, I think the title of themwere um Sugar Pie Honey Buns.

(22:22):
Well, kind of, but it's justthat they just have different
titles about awkwardness withwith relationships or whatever.
So this one is actually like thewild card round.
So this one says, because thismade me think of something, but
when it when is it acceptable tocall them babe in front of their

(22:44):
friends?

SPEAKER_07 (22:46):
Um in front of the friends, I mean, I don't know.
Um I would say let's see, let'ssee, let's see.
Maybe a month?

(23:08):
Yeah, I would say about a month.
It depends on how how how youfall for the person.
If you're falling for the personand you're spending a lot of
time with the person, because Iknow if I'm into into someone,
I'm spending a lot of time withthem.
I mean my fraternity brotherswould be mad at me.
And be like, well, you don'thang with us no more at all.
I said, No, I don't hang with nohard legs, you know.
Why not?

(23:29):
I mean, why, you know, I lovey'all.
I mean, we I'm I see y'all atthe frat meeting.
I see y'all when we gottasponsor the party.
But other than that, you know,I'm trying to hang with my young
Tinder.

SPEAKER_01 (23:42):
Oh, Tinder ruin it.

SPEAKER_07 (23:43):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (23:44):
And but um I think what it just feels comfortable
at some point at the same time.
Yeah, but that's what I'msaying.

SPEAKER_07 (23:49):
To me, but a month in time would be.

SPEAKER_01 (23:51):
There are some people who do it too soon.

SPEAKER_07 (23:54):
Kids do it.
I'm telling you, kids do itquick.

SPEAKER_01 (23:58):
Remember when one of our nieces, I'm not gonna say
which one.
Remember when they were datingsomebody and they weren't dating
long and the person keptcalling, like, they called her
her pops.

SPEAKER_04 (24:10):
Yes.
Pops.
And yeah, I remember that.

SPEAKER_01 (24:14):
And we were like out to dinner, or I don't know, when
we had met them, and we werelike, first of all, I don't
know, they've been dating at themoment.
We was at uh we were out todinner, right?

SPEAKER_07 (24:24):
Yeah, we we went, we yeah, forget it.
We was at home.

SPEAKER_01 (24:28):
We were in public, yeah, at home.

SPEAKER_07 (24:30):
We were in public at the seafood restaurant.

SPEAKER_01 (24:32):
Uh-huh.
Yeah, that is that we that yeah.
And I remember the young manlike calling our nieces, her.

SPEAKER_07 (24:40):
But the the crazy thing about that, he didn't like
that's a uh, that's aterritorial thing.

unknown (24:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (24:47):
And he didn't have to be territorial around family.

SPEAKER_01 (24:50):
No.

SPEAKER_07 (24:51):
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 (24:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (24:53):
Which, which even put a red flag up, like Oh, the
f the red flag was blazing forme.
And um, and like, so for me, itwas almost like, oh, he got to
go.

SPEAKER_04 (25:04):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_07 (25:05):
Like, cause this cat is crazy.

SPEAKER_04 (25:07):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (25:07):
So when you when you're thatterritorial around, I understand
if you're that around, you know,other future, I mean not future,
but, you know, possibleprospects as well.
People who may be into her, youknow, so you're trying to say,
hey, baby.
But around family, you don'thave, you know, and so uh I was

(25:28):
a little tripping about that.
But yeah, and I didn't, and Idefinitely know the relationship
was was new.
It still had some of the tags onit.

SPEAKER_01 (25:36):
Yeah, it still had tags on it.
Size 10 on the pants.

SPEAKER_07 (25:39):
Yes, yeah, a little on the tag.
But uh, yeah, but in our highschool kids, they do it all,
they do it often.
They do it often, man.
It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 (25:48):
Or even how they um um what is it not five, my three
people.
Share the location.
They share their location, theyshare the location.

SPEAKER_07 (25:57):
And I oh, when my oh man, when I had a classroom and
my kids would come in there,like, because all it's always
the the girls would come in.
When uh coach hair story time.
And, you know, and I had to givethe fatherly advice because a
lot of them, you know, didn'thave pops.
Um and a few of my my young men,we my baseball player, they
would come in there and and ask,you know, and talk to me.

(26:20):
Um But then young ladies, theywas I and I would scorn them.
Also, you know, I coached Lacks.
Scorn them.

SPEAKER_01 (26:26):
Well, yeah.
Scull scold them.

SPEAKER_07 (26:28):
Well, yeah, scold them.
I'm sorry, scold them, my bad.
Scold them because I'm like,uh-uh.
You don't give him that muchaccess.
He hasn't earned anything to getthat much access.
You know what I'm saying?
And and even that, I had to tellthem, your friends don't even
need to know your whereabouts24-7.

(26:49):
Because some of these thatyou're saying are your friends.
Are not.
They're keeping your uh locationso that they can show whoever it
is you're talking to.
And, you know, like you say, ifyou're dating, the dating phase
means that I'm not uh committedto anyone right now.
And so they'll say that I'veseen say share that location.
Well, I ain't seen them, butI've heard them share that

(27:10):
location with that other one andsays, ask her where she was the
other day.
And so, oh, it's yeah, but yeah,these youngsters, boy, they fall
in.
They fall in quick.
Quick, quick, quick.
So next.

SPEAKER_01 (27:29):
Did you answer the question though?
I said a month.
Oh, okay.

unknown (27:33):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (27:34):
Boy, somebody needs that.
They hearing has been horriblelately.
Yeah, mama's yeah.
Your mama can't hear.

SPEAKER_01 (27:43):
Your whole generation can't hear.

SPEAKER_07 (27:45):
Huh?
You aren't you part of mygeneration?

SPEAKER_01 (27:48):
No, I'm not related to you.
But you in my life by blood.

SPEAKER_07 (27:51):
You in my generation when they talk about your family
generation.

SPEAKER_06 (27:55):
And they talk about my generation, be like, oh, and
his wife.
Well, my either.

SPEAKER_01 (28:00):
Okay.
When okay, this is a good one.
How long before you can walkaround their house in just a
t-shirt?

SPEAKER_07 (28:15):
Well, for a man never.
What do you mean?
You know he would walk aroundwith a man just just a t-shirt,
just balls free on the t-shirt.
You might as well take the shirtoff.
That's a little you know whatI'm saying.
Take the t-shirt off.

SPEAKER_01 (28:31):
So would it be for the guy walking around their
boxers?

SPEAKER_07 (28:34):
Yeah, it's undies or underwear.
Yeah, and then the woman in thet-shirt.

SPEAKER_01 (28:39):
Okay.
Um so let's say you say what'sthe what's your opinion on
either of those?
Well, I guess it's the samething, but man, man version,
woman version.

SPEAKER_07 (28:54):
If you've had, you know, intimate encounters with
that individual, I think it'sit's cool to be able to walk
around in your boxers or Well,see, for a man it's kind of
different because it's almost tothat beach kind of attire.
But I know underwear is not thesame as but boxers.
But if it's if it's true, likeboxer briefs and true boxer

(29:15):
underwear, if you're wearingtidy whiteys or whatever, this
underwear, I would say the themoment of intimacy.

SPEAKER_00 (29:21):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (29:22):
If you're planning on have being intimate that
night, or you know, so and thensome people say what I'm trying
to lead up to the intimacy.
Um be careful with that becauseyou don't want the other person
to feel pressure.
They're like, oh, he's walkingaround in the draw.
Oh my god, he's gonna ask me tosleep with him.
You know?

SPEAKER_01 (29:41):
Well, yeah, you shouldn't just be walking around
in your drawers.

SPEAKER_07 (29:43):
I know, that's why I said once the first moment of
intimacy has occurred.
Oh.
Because now the pressure is notlike you see what I'm saying?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (29:52):
And some people, yeah, some people will do
certain things like that.

SPEAKER_07 (29:55):
Yeah, they walk around and be like, oh, oh,
sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (29:57):
Take their shirt off.

SPEAKER_06 (29:59):
Oh, sorry, I didn't know.
You was in the kitchen.
I just came down and gave mesome water.

SPEAKER_07 (30:06):
That's how you see on them little shows, you know.
Yeah.
But um, I mean, yeah, because asthere's nothing more uh I mean,
there is something more sexy,but uh a moment of intimacy and
then you know you walking aroundin your in a long shirt, you

(30:26):
know.
Like even one of the movies whenthey had it, they put on the
man's dress shirt or somethingand they walk around in the
apartment, you know, you see onthose little love movies.

SPEAKER_01 (30:34):
Oh, yes, like one of my favorite movies, um Pretty
Woman.

SPEAKER_07 (30:38):
Yeah, pretty woman.
So, you know, I I think uh yeah,the first moment of intimacy, I
think that's that's cool.
What about you?

SPEAKER_01 (30:45):
Um, yeah, I think that that's fine.
I was just thinking, like, nowwhen you go into these high
schools, uh it's a new, I don'tsometimes you want to do they
have something underneath theirt-shirt.
Some of the girls have thet-shirts longer than the shorts.
Um, so that may not be anythingfor this new generation.

SPEAKER_07 (31:06):
They may Yeah, that's there's not a lot for uh
the imagination anymore.
No.
You know, um, everything isalready on display.
Um but a lot of the, and I worryabout them, a lot of these kids
are already desynthesized.
So it's like um, what will bethe thing that turns them on?

(31:29):
Oh, yeah.
Because they've seen it so oftenthat now it's gonna be like and
they'll get bored.
Which, which is, you know, wesee people, the relationships,
we see people flipping fast.
You know, gone are the days ofof uh long committed
relationships because of theboredom.

SPEAKER_01 (31:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (31:50):
You know, you having sex early, you've done all,
you've pulled out all thetricks.
And you know, there's no more,oh, I ain't doing that until I'm
married.
Like, I already did that.
Right.
I ain't doing that no moreafter, you know, once I'm there,
you know.
So Yeah, it's oof.

SPEAKER_01 (32:06):
One of the sessions that I took at my conference,
um, it was talking about like umsocial, not social media, I'm
sorry, just uh devices, period.
Um, how do we help this newgeneration because of the damage
to the brain and differentthings that that um um the cell

(32:33):
phone, the ones with apps um aredoing to them.
And so one of the things, likeduring some of the studies um
for young men, it's porn.
Um it's because of the phonesand apps and access that they've
seen such a huge increase um inthem accessing teenagers

(32:56):
accessing porn.
Right.
Specifically boys.
Of course.
So I just um wonder even forthem how that will impact them
in relationships.

SPEAKER_07 (33:11):
Well, you know, a lot of um you hear, you know,
different people speak on itwhen you you hear uh talk people
talk about relationship and pornand things, or how does intimacy
um differ from what somebody wastaught, you know, as a as a kid
watching porn or an adultwatching porn.

(33:32):
Um a lot of people, you know,often say that men are misguided
by what they see in as intimacyand porn.

SPEAKER_04 (33:44):
Mm-hmm.
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (33:45):
And so then when they get into a relationship,
they think that's what becauseand and I understand- That's the
intimacy should be.

SPEAKER_01 (33:50):
Right.

SPEAKER_07 (33:51):
And I understand because many people are not
taught, you know, how to beintimate.
They're not, you know, a lot ofit is self-discovery for the
male.
And so when when that occurs,you know, it's it's uh a lot of
learning, but will the womanhave patience enough to I well,

(34:13):
I must kind of say teach, butmore so help guide the man into
learning what intimacy means toher, what romanticism is to her,
what sexual uh romanticism is toher, because you know, on the on
the phone or in the video,you're gonna see it's like first
three minutes and it's it's arap.

(34:33):
You know?
And so uh but that was an issuewhen it wasn't as easily
accessible.
So now that it is so easilyaccessible with phones and
tablets and all that stuff, Iwonder how much damage has been

(34:56):
done or will be done becauseit's gonna continue to get even
more uh accessible, especiallynow because now people are
making so much money off of withOnlyFans and all that stuff.
It's more people in theindustry, you know, on platforms
like such as X and which isTwitter, and you know, you can
pull it up right there, it'slike free porn.

(35:18):
And how much damage will be doneto the uh the art of romanticism
because of that?

SPEAKER_01 (35:27):
Yeah.
I also think parents, um if youlive in my house, you're a
teenager, I take care of you, Ipay for your cell phone bill,
um, then I should have access tothat stuff.

SPEAKER_06 (35:40):
Should be able to do a check-in.

SPEAKER_01 (35:41):
And I think every now and again parents need to do
a check-in.

SPEAKER_04 (35:45):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (35:46):
I know when the boys were in high school, um, we had
time with the phone shut off.

SPEAKER_07 (35:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (35:52):
Um when it was time to be sleep, that's what we did.
Right.

SPEAKER_07 (35:55):
And that don't mean they can't they can't look at
porn at 12 noon.

SPEAKER_01 (35:58):
Right.

SPEAKER_07 (35:59):
But at least we had some kind of control.
Yeah.
We knew they weren't gonna lookat it all day.

SPEAKER_01 (36:04):
Right.
Right.

SPEAKER_07 (36:06):
You know, but yeah, we did have some control.
And and with that being said, byus having some kind of control,
is if you notice something, thenuse that as a teachable moment.
If we notice that they're onpoint, oh well, why why do you
feel the need that you need tosee this?
I understand the desires and Iunderstand, but you do

(36:28):
understand this is not how itreally goes down.
These people are being paid toperform in this manner.
You do understand that this isnot what some young lady is
gonna say is right.
And and I and that's where theproblem lies because you know
how we always say as soon as youtell your child not to do
something, it's gonna make themwant to do it more.

SPEAKER_03 (36:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (36:49):
But if you teach them why, oh, you may want to
pump the brakes on that a littlebit, you know, and then some of
them may realize, oh, you knowwhat, yeah, okay, that is.
I don't need to fool with that.
I don't need to do this, I don'tneed to do that.
But it's uh I hey I'm I'm gonnatell you.

SPEAKER_03 (37:06):
What?

SPEAKER_07 (37:07):
Had it been available when I was a kid,
sure, my minutes would have beenup.

SPEAKER_01 (37:13):
Well, gone.
And that's but that's probablypart of it.
Like, I know for I remember thelike for the boys and like some
of their friends or people thatthey knew, like, and people I
knew with teenagers, yeah.
Um they would their parents,they how you don't get to look
at my phone, and you like therewas this ownership, like it was

(37:37):
their phone.
And yeah, I was always like, uhfirst of all, we're gonna.
And if you want to have a phone,then you can get a job and pay
for your own phone.
But um, yeah, it's justdifferent people like with the
privacy, and just so often, noteven just with things like porn,
but any, lots of things.

SPEAKER_07 (37:56):
Anything, especially with cyberbullying.

SPEAKER_01 (37:57):
Uh-huh, with cyberbullying.

SPEAKER_07 (37:58):
Yeah, with everything that was going on.

SPEAKER_01 (38:00):
Like all the stuff, remember when when meeting
people online, yeah, when peoplethey don't know.

SPEAKER_07 (38:09):
And the kids, so we was always, and kids were the
ones that we knew that werealways blue and down and taking
depre antidepressants and stufflike that because they were all
depressed.
They were the main targets toonline bullying.
You know?
So yeah, you you have you haveto, as a parent, um, be

(38:32):
involved.
You have to be a snooper.
Yep.
You have to.
I mean, it it just serves youwell to be a snooper.
And you have to explain it toyour child why you are snooping,
you know, and um be the parentand be in control.

SPEAKER_01 (38:48):
Yeah, it's right, it's really about yeah, making
sure they're safe because eventhough they feel like they know
all the things, they don't knowall the things.
Right.
And so it's not to be nosy, butit's mainly for their
protection.
And and then the thing about itis it's then you have
conversations, like you said.

(39:08):
You have conversations, it's notuh about reprimanding and I
gotcha or that, but it's justopen up dialogue and guiding and
conversations.

SPEAKER_07 (39:20):
I I bet you some of those same parents that say, no,
he can close his door, he can hecan have all the freedom or she
can have all the freedom theywant.
I don't snoop in this, but I betif their significant other, the
person they was dating, wasacting in secrecy like some of
their kids are, they would loseit.
They wouldn't go for that.

SPEAKER_01 (39:41):
I always wonder where they the kids where their
parents were so strict.

SPEAKER_07 (39:46):
Rigid and stuff on there?

SPEAKER_01 (39:47):
Rigid and strict, and so they're like, I'm not
gonna be that with my case.

SPEAKER_07 (39:51):
I was with ours, and mine was definitely strict with
me.

SPEAKER_01 (39:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (39:55):
But I realized why they were strict because some of
the kids who were able to go outevery day, all day, I like I
said, I can tell where some ofthem are at the crib now, or
some of them are buried.
And so I'm thankful that theywere um strict.
Yes, they probably could releasethe reins a little bit on me

(40:16):
because I was not gonna do that,uh, you know, some of those
things they thought I was gonnado.
But um at the same point, youknow, I was, I'm not gonna say
strict on my boys, but I wasstrict to the point where I
wasn't like some of these otherparents around it, like the kids
I taught.
And I that probably even made memore strict on them.

(40:38):
I was like, oh no.
Because even if you're not doinganything wrong, it's a
knucklehead out there doingsomething wrong that may put you
in danger.
So, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (40:47):
Okay.
So this is the feelings andcommitment.

SPEAKER_06 (40:51):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (40:52):
Okay, so when do you start?
So thinking of somebody that'sdating, when do you start
meeting family or kids?
So if they have kids or theirfamily, when do you start
meeting them?

SPEAKER_07 (41:09):
I say.
Well, you know, the black folk,boy, you gotta be careful with
the family thing.
Because when they feel like, ohgirl, I met his mama, that meant
something.

SPEAKER_01 (41:19):
I think that means something to everybody.

SPEAKER_07 (41:21):
It didn't to me.

SPEAKER_01 (41:23):
Oh, it didn't to you.
Because it I think it depends onthe person.
I don't think it's a black orwhite or but you know, that's
the thing.

SPEAKER_07 (41:32):
You know, black folk, you'll bring around their
mama that fast.

SPEAKER_01 (41:34):
Well, I I think it's just I think it depends on the
person.

SPEAKER_07 (41:39):
But I do know that because even my students just
said that not too long ago.
Uh two of my student, my uhformer flag girls talking, and
they said, I mean, his mama, andooh, you know, child.
When a black mama meets you, oh,you in there.
And I'll just start laughing athim.
But anyway, um, because I, youknow, I can let somebody meet my

(42:01):
mama.
You know, hey, this is my mom,because I would introduce my mom
to anybody.

SPEAKER_01 (42:10):
But would that so if knowing what you just said, like
what your flag football girlsaid, and you introduce your mom
mom to anyone, do you think youcould give them an idea of
something that's more than whatit actually is?

SPEAKER_07 (42:25):
I definitely could.
But I'm also a different person.
I'm also the person that uh likelet's say we go out on a date
February the 10th.
I'm getting you some ofValentine's Day if we're if we
done talked on the phone andstuff.
That's four days.

(42:46):
I'm getting you something forValentine's Day.

SPEAKER_01 (42:48):
Well, you can probably really lead someone on.

SPEAKER_07 (42:50):
I could probably lead someone on that first day.
Because I'm uh I'm Mr.
Too Nice.
But that's how I am too.
I'm I'm nice and kind to anyone.

SPEAKER_01 (43:02):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (43:02):
You see what I'm saying?
So I'm probably gonna lead youon regardless.

SPEAKER_01 (43:07):
Which hence why that girl came up to the school that
time looking for you when weprobably so.

SPEAKER_07 (43:14):
Probably so.

SPEAKER_01 (43:15):
So then you have to be careful.

SPEAKER_07 (43:17):
Probably do.
Probably do.
But I do know the differencebetween You do, but do do that.
But but I can't you can't a lotof stuff you can't help.

SPEAKER_01 (43:30):
But so how okay, so like if I hold the door and say,
oh, here I got it.
So are you aware if somebodytook your kindness as as as
flirtation or so what do you doin that instance?

SPEAKER_07 (43:42):
I bring up my wife.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I I bring up my wife, you know,and I I bring you up anyway in
conversations.
But if somebody starts asking, Isaid, Oh yeah, my wife and I,
I'm like, maybe they didn't hearme the first time.
I said, something about my wife.
You know, but then like that onelady told me in um Kroger, Camp
Creek, she said, uh, she said,excuse me, I said, and she was

(44:07):
we was talking um about the TV.
Because, you know, I was stillkind of fresh back then.
2006 wasn't too long.
And so uh I said, Oh yeah, I'mmarried.
She said, I am too.
I said, I was like, okay, let meget up out of here.
And but you know, so you can'tyou can't help what somebody

(44:28):
else's intentions and plans are.

SPEAKER_01 (44:31):
I mean, you can't, but okay, did you answer the
question?
So fa for you, it's just doesn'tmatter.
There's not a timeline formeeting family.

SPEAKER_07 (44:39):
Um what about it's you can meet them, but it's how
I introduce you to family.

SPEAKER_00 (44:46):
Okay, so what give an example?

SPEAKER_07 (44:48):
So if I if if we're just I say, hey, this is uh
friend of mine, you know, we'rejust we're dating.
You know, we just starteddating.
I'll say we just started datinga couple days ago, but uh boom.

SPEAKER_01 (44:59):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (45:00):
Um now if if it's serious, I'llbe honest right in front of, and
I'm not embarrassing, I thinkI've done that before.
This is such and such.
Uh we're getting a littleserious now, you know.
And uh may, may, it mayembarrass.

SPEAKER_01 (45:19):
Why are you saying that?
I think you did that with Muddyor with me.

SPEAKER_07 (45:23):
Yeah, I told Muddy, because I told Muddy, I I mean,
what did I say?
I said uh, because we met Muddyuh, it was during during uh
Thanksgiving.
Yeah, Thanksgiving.
No, Christmas.
Christmas, I'm sorry, yes.
It was during Christmas.
And I had already told you Iloved you then.
So um, and I said, Mother, Isaid, yeah, we getting we
getting pretty serious, my dear.

(45:44):
Oh then when that mother'smother said, I think he loves
you.
And I was like, I done told heralready, Mother.

SPEAKER_01 (45:51):
Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_07 (45:54):
And then what mother asked us?

SPEAKER_01 (45:56):
Oh.
So we went by there to see herbefore we left.
Yeah, and she says, Well, didum, did you have pleasure while
you were here?
I said, What?

SPEAKER_07 (46:09):
I thought she talked, did you enjoy being
here?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (46:12):
So I said, Yeah, we had a good time, but I was like,
but I thought maybe she wentthat too.

SPEAKER_07 (46:17):
And then she said, again, no, did you have
pleasure?
And we said, Oh, I said, Yeah,my dear, we pleasure all the
time.
Yeah, but no, I um, yeah, meetlike I said, meeting my family,
because uh I love my family andI love introducing people to my

(46:39):
family.

SPEAKER_04 (46:39):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (46:39):
Like I would I would introducesomebody to my brothers, to my
cousins, even on the first date,I would introduce them to me.
Um because if I'm even out withyou, I think something of you.
Okay.
But at the same time, you know,I can kind of get something from

(47:02):
people too.
Like they'd be like, she'sstraight.
I ain't like such a such numberlike that.
Oh, the biggest thing.
And then they kind of make yeah,they kind of helped me look out
for it too.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (47:11):
So what about yourself?
What of oh well, what about thekids part?
What is the kids?
Oh, the kids.
What do you think?
I mean, you you haven't had toexperience that, but if you had
to, what do you think for peoplemeeting kids?
What are you what is what isyour opinion on that?

SPEAKER_07 (47:30):
Um, it's it's different because older kids
will understand, more so thanyounger kids.
Um and depending on how long momhas been single or dad has been
single, depends on how manypeople they've met.

(47:51):
And and how it affects the kids.
So you gotta talk to them.
So how how does it feel when Iintroduce you to somebody?
Well, dad, I don't like itbecause I done seen three women
in the last two months.
You know, or dad, it's perfectlyfine.
I like it when because now wecan kind of get a vibe, you
know.
So you kind of want your kids'input in it.
Um and I think you you you can'thide around me.

(48:13):
I don't bring nobody around mykids until we serious.
Well, the problem with that isWell, if they don't mess with
your kids.
If they don't mess with yourkids and you're serious, now
you're heartbroken and you'reprobably saying, men ain't ish
because you know, no, you youknow, you can't put that on

(48:34):
them.
You know, so I think there is aa line in which, you know, you
gotta you gotta one, understandthe maturity of your kids.

SPEAKER_01 (48:41):
Yes.

SPEAKER_07 (48:42):
Um, and you gotta understand the seriousness of
what you're what your intentionsare.
Are you in are you dating forlong term?

SPEAKER_01 (48:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (48:50):
Are you dating just to be have fun?

SPEAKER_01 (48:52):
Yeah, so you need to know that yourself.
That's true.
Because if it's just to have agood time or you're not going to
be serious, then yeah, there'sno need to introduce people to
your children.

SPEAKER_07 (49:01):
And then your dating is gonna be limited.

SPEAKER_01 (49:03):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (49:04):
Like your dating should almost be secret meetup.
Yes, it should be meetups.

SPEAKER_04 (49:08):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (49:10):
It should be just strictly mom's going out Friday
night, we're gonna meet up, andand and you need to understand.

SPEAKER_01 (49:17):
Or it's the day that weekend they, if they're with
their dad, or they're with whowith their cousin, whatever.

SPEAKER_07 (49:21):
And then if you're going out on a certain night,
mom can't be staying out late,late.
You gotta, if you got afour-hour window, you better
eat, laugh, and screw all withinthat four-hour window and come
back home.
So that, you know what I mean?
So that the kids is notquestioning and all that stuff,
and then now you gotta lie tothem and or it's just And I like

(49:43):
the idea of um talking to themabout it.

SPEAKER_04 (49:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (49:47):
But also just to kind of show them what healthy
dating looks like.

SPEAKER_04 (49:52):
That's right.

SPEAKER_01 (49:53):
And if you can't do it in a healthy way, then to me,
you're just not ready.
I don't care how old you are.
That's right.
Um, so um, yeah, I like the ideaof asking them what they think
about it.
Because even for some of them, Ithink once they get like eight
or nine, I feel like you canstill have those conversations
with them.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think that's that isthe healthy way um of doing it

(50:16):
and them understanding whatdating is.
And then, but it first startswith you knowing what in the
world am I dating for in thefirst place?

SPEAKER_03 (50:26):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (50:26):
So, yep, I like that.
Now, as far as family, um Ithink I don't know if it's
different for women.
I'm thinking about like to mydating times.
For some instances, I wanted mysomebody to know who I was going
on a date with.
Right.
Um, so that part was importantto me.

(50:47):
So even if I introduce you, justso you know, something happened,
this is who I'm with.
This is who it is, yeah.
This is who it is.
This who I'm with.
Um, and so I think with my mom,we always had open, we always
talked about who I was datingand stuff about the people I was
dating.
And she was gonna for without adoubt, let you know whether or

(51:08):
not she did or did not likesomebody.

SPEAKER_06 (51:10):
Okay, what she said.

SPEAKER_01 (51:12):
Um, she didn't have to say anything, it was all in
action.

SPEAKER_07 (51:16):
Um my god, you gotta think.

SPEAKER_01 (51:21):
No, no, because I'm I'm no, I'm not no.
What I'm saying is, no, sheliked you, but what I'm saying
is you knew when she did not,because it was stronger action.

SPEAKER_07 (51:31):
I just try to I just asked the question.
What she said.

SPEAKER_01 (51:34):
But I can't remember what she said.
Babe, that was like 23 yearsago.
I can't remember what she saidabout you, but I know um like
what she said after immediatelymeeting you.
Like I can't remember what shesaid about you, but I know that
she thought you were a goodperson, a good man.

(51:54):
And then, but I can't say thinkabout what she said immediately.
For my mama, if she, if you wereokay, I didn't necessarily hear
about like her go on and onabout somebody.
If she didn't like you, that wasimmediate.
So if you came over and shedidn't like you, she was gonna

(52:15):
make sure she answered the door.

SPEAKER_04 (52:17):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (52:18):
So that she could open the door, not say a word to
you, um, and then go up thestairs and you just looking real
crazy.
So she, yeah, she didn't.
You was gonna know that.
So if she didn't do all of that,then you were good.

SPEAKER_02 (52:36):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (52:37):
So that is the thing about my mama.
Like, if she didn't care foryou, you'd like to be good.
Yes, yes.
Yes, I was good.
Yeah, so um, so yeah, that'swhat I think for for family in
that way.
Now I guess that would be myimmediate family would know,
like, like now extended family.
Um, it would be somebody I waslike really like, I was really

(52:58):
dating.
Um, but if I was going to date,somebody was gonna meet them so
that I they knew who I was with.
Um, so anyways, that that wouldbe that.
But I I think it's just wreally, like you said, it all
boils down to what are yourintentions or goal for dating.
If you're not being serious,there ain't no need to introduce

(53:19):
them to family in that in thatway.

SPEAKER_07 (53:20):
Yeah, I was a very private person when when I was
but the bulk of my dating, ofcourse, was in college.
Um my serious dating, becauseyou know, I didn't have the
opportunity to date as much inhigh school.
Um won limitations andselections and this uh
restrictions I was under.

SPEAKER_01 (53:40):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (53:40):
You know.
So um, but and even when I wasat Troy, I didn't date like
because I was still like, oh,this girl's great.
It's gonna be my girlfriend.
You know, so it was like thatwas it.
Lockdown, no, because you know,back growing up in high school,
if you let one go, you'rewaiting in line for another one.

SPEAKER_01 (54:00):
Oh, so you just trying, get them real quick.

SPEAKER_07 (54:02):
Grab one, and this is mine.
Yeah, we're together forever.
Oh, broke my heart, okay.
This was mine.
Together forever, you know whatI'm saying?
But when I when I went toAlabama State, you know, I had a
little more maturity aboutmyself and the selection was
different.
And um it was just different,you know.
But and but I but I movedquietly because it was still

(54:28):
that what we talked aboutbefore, where somebody finds
out, oh, you talking to Keithlook, I know I can get you then.
That kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 (54:37):
I think that's a guy thing.

SPEAKER_07 (54:39):
It might be.
Yeah.
But uh, but I, you know, but Inever But you wouldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 (54:44):
No, it's you to another guy.

SPEAKER_07 (54:46):
Yeah, it's you know, it's just oh well, dang,
congratulations.
Um, but my person that I told orintroduced or said, This is who
I want you to watch them, wasSharita.

SPEAKER_04 (55:04):
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_07 (55:05):
So she would be, oh no, she's good.
She or she would be like, um,you remember the one you told me
about?
Hmm.
Well, let me tell you.

SPEAKER_01 (55:15):
That's exactly how she sounds.
That's exactly how Sharitasounds.

SPEAKER_07 (55:20):
She was just around the other dorm with such and
such.
And I'd be like, what?
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (55:31):
I'd be like, You look just like her.

SPEAKER_07 (55:34):
All right, yeah, well, cut her, then I cut them
off, you know, easily, quick.
Um, but that was my she was myum introduced her to, you know,
stuff like that, introduce themto.
And even the same thing.
And it was like with you, ifthey couldn't accept Sharita,
then I knew relationship wasn'tgoing nowhere.

(55:55):
Like when I told you, well, youknow, I have a friend, you know,
and and I think I put y'all onthe phone one time, and to my
knowledge, you was cool with,but I know, you know, it's still
tough.

SPEAKER_01 (56:07):
Yeah, it is.
I yeah, I think so.
And I and I think it's more sonot um getting to really know
and spend time and get to reallyum know people.
But then also it's a thing thatis not okay with a lot of women.

(56:28):
It's not.
So it's not if you share thatinformation with some other
women, then do be prepared.
If you say your husband, one ofyour husband's best friends is a
is a woman, they all kind oflook like I was ready for for
you to say no, I was like, allright, bet.

SPEAKER_07 (56:49):
And that's just how it would have went.
Because, you know, I I knew her,you know what I'm saying?
I knew her, you know, I trustedher.
And we were in the phase ofgetting to know each other,
trusting each other and all thatstuff.
And if it wouldn't have worked,I'd be like, well, okay.
I'm sorry.
You know, that's the loyalty Ihave for my friend.

(57:10):
And um, but when you stuckaround, I said, and I was even
saying, well, even she, I said,she planned the game right.
I said, but if she sticks withme long enough, she'll she'll
know.
She'll know she's, you know,that everything is on the up and
up.
And um you last it.
You lasted.
Um, but it's difficult.

(57:31):
I know it's very difficult.
But that's the that's the thingabout our relationship is that
stuff that wouldn't go for otherpeople, we are the outliers to
show people that yeah, it maynot work in everybody's day, but
this is how it goes.
Yeah, you and your husband maynot laugh all the time, but we
do, we laugh at least once a daywith each other.

(57:58):
Like, I cannot pinpoint a timewhere, and I'm sure it's
probably been a time where youget mad at 24 hours, yeah.
But I can guarantee you if wedid a percentage-wise, it would
be 98 to 99 percent of uslaughing with each other.

(58:19):
Yeah, you know what I mean?
So that's not coming.
You know, a lot of stuff is notcoming, but that's the blessing
that you know God has put on us,and I I appreciate it.
So, all right, what's anotherquestion?

SPEAKER_01 (58:30):
We still want to do another question?

SPEAKER_07 (58:32):
Yeah, what time we got?

SPEAKER_01 (58:33):
I don't know how long we've been going.

SPEAKER_07 (58:35):
Oh, we got we're almost an hour.

SPEAKER_01 (58:37):
Oh, okay.

unknown (58:38):
Yep.

SPEAKER_01 (58:38):
Do you want to do one more question?

SPEAKER_07 (58:40):
We got anything like in a different category or
something.

SPEAKER_01 (58:43):
Yeah, let me see.

SPEAKER_07 (58:44):
Let's see what we and then we'll wrap it up and
get on up out of this train.

SPEAKER_01 (58:47):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (58:48):
Out of this.
We'll blow this popsicle stick.

SPEAKER_01 (58:51):
I know Kimani's popsicle stand.

SPEAKER_07 (58:53):
Yeah, blow this popsicle stand.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (58:55):
Kimani's here, guys.

SPEAKER_07 (58:57):
He came in.
I made him stop by Bucky's toget his mom a treat.

SPEAKER_01 (59:02):
I wonder what kind of treats they got me, y'all.
Because I don't know why he'strying to act like he stopped at
Bucky's for me, because I don'tthink he did.
Oh my God.

SPEAKER_07 (59:10):
I think he's.
Every time we go to Bucky's, Itry to get her something.

SPEAKER_01 (59:13):
I think he stopped at Bucky's for him.

SPEAKER_07 (59:15):
Who said you can't get something for yourself and
for your wife?
Like, I don't understand.

SPEAKER_01 (59:21):
I don't understand.

SPEAKER_07 (59:22):
I'm telling you, look, she getting ready, I
promise you.
She getting ready to cash in onthat refund.
She getting ready to cash in bigtime.
And when I trade her in, gonnabe like my G.
Like my G, oh my God.
I pulled over twice today.

SPEAKER_00 (59:41):
Oh, because of the thing.

SPEAKER_07 (59:42):
The death wobble got so bad today.
Like I was, I was.

SPEAKER_01 (59:46):
Well, why you keep driving it?

SPEAKER_07 (59:48):
Because I don't want to put that many miles on the
Tesla because I'm trying to keepit under the mileage by
February.

SPEAKER_01 (59:53):
Okay.
All right, here's our lastquestion.

SPEAKER_07 (59:56):
All right.

SPEAKER_01 (59:56):
If you could swap lives.
For one day.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:02):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:02):
You and I could swap lives for one day.
What's the first thing you woulddo as the other person?
What would you do if you couldbe me?
What would you do?

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:14):
If I could be you for one day, what would I do?

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:23):
Oh, I know what I'd do if I could be you.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:25):
I would.
Um let's see.
If I could be you for one day.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:37):
Well, me too, because I'll tell you what I do.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:38):
Yeah, go ahead and tell me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:40):
Okay.
I would go swimming.

SPEAKER_07 (01:00:42):
Oh.

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:43):
Because you're a great swimmer.
I would go swim, swim, swim,swim, swim.
And uh I would also um well youprobably can't do it no more,
but I try a backflip.
And I would build something.

(01:01:07):
Like make something.
You got a busy day.
Yeah, those that's what I woulddo.
If I could be the first thing todo, I'm gonna go swim.
After I swim, I'm gonna try abackflip.
Maybe I'll try in the pool, likeoff a diver board.

SPEAKER_06 (01:01:20):
Yeah, you can do that.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:22):
I would do that.
And then I'm gonna go buildsomething.
I don't know what I would build.
What's something I really wouldwant to do?

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:30):
You'd be frustrated cut the boards and threw my
tools all around somewhere andthen can't find them.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:35):
I think maybe I would build something.
Um I don't know what I wouldbuild.
What's something I really wouldwant that I really want?

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:49):
I don't know.
Build your bookshelf.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:51):
That's how I thought about a bookshelf or something
like that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:01:53):
A bookshelf and then a nightstand or a little small
round table.

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:57):
Yeah, I'd do something like that.
That's what I would do if I wereyou.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:00):
Yeah.
All right.
I was gonna say, if I were you,I'll just, with no bra, just
stand in the mirror and shake myboobies, but I mean, I've done
that before.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:11):
Oh my God.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:13):
I've done that before when I was fat.
So when I had boobies.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:17):
You did not do that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:18):
Yeah, I did.
I was like, nah, but uh, whatwould I do?
Um if I were you, um, oh man.
I would let me be quiet.
Get you in trouble.
I was gonna get you in trouble.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:39):
You're gonna say about my word.
Yep.
Oh God, don't say that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:43):
And I was gonna be, but I would have to be my my,
you know, my um nice, nastyself.
Yeah.
And have a great day at work.
The next day you would be like,I'll be fired.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:56):
They'd be like, Kree, you fired.

SPEAKER_07 (01:02:58):
But it would be nice, nasty.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:59):
That's right.

SPEAKER_07 (01:03:00):
It'd be to the point where it'd be like, they'd be
like, ooh, I didn't realizethat.
I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:04):
That's what I told the the um lady when I when I
was at the conference, um therewas an instance with some people
that were at the conference atthe at a bar, and the bartender
told them they couldn't talkabout political things.
And um, they were just kind oftaken aback by that.

(01:03:25):
But the lady was telling meabout what happened to them, and
I was like, oh gosh, I was like,if that were my husband and I, I
was like, he would do so well inthat situation.
I was like, he is so great, likeon the spot with his like words
that he can be like so nice,nasty, and then you walk away

(01:03:46):
and go, he just told me off.
And so she asked me, she goes,What do you think he would say?
I go, I don't know, that's why Ijust told you.
I can't take on the spot.
I go, but he would have handledthat bartender so well in that
situation or whatever.
But yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:02):
I know what I'll do.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:03):
But that wouldn't be me.
That would be, you wouldn't bedoing me, you'd be doing you.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:08):
I would run a 5K.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:11):
Oh.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:12):
Because I haven't run without my lungs and my
heart and my left arm hurtingsince COVID.
Oh so I would run a 5K.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:25):
Because I'm a runner.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:26):
Yeah, you're a runner.
And I used to be the runner.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:29):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:30):
And then all of a sudden, you know, then it
switched, and I had my my ankleinjury first.
No, my knee, I had a knee.
Remember, the knee got kind oflocked up, then I had my ankle
injury.
And then freaking.
Then that the COVID beat medown.
Yeah, but I can't breathe thesame no more.
But that's what I would do.
Yeah, I would get in a 5K and Iwould be running so hard.

(01:04:51):
Oh, I'd be slow then though.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:53):
Why?

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:54):
Because I'd be you.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:56):
I am not slow.

SPEAKER_07 (01:04:59):
I'd be in a run all day.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:01):
Now you're not gonna win.

SPEAKER_07 (01:05:03):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:04):
But you ain't gonna be the last one, and you'll be
somewhere in the middle.

SPEAKER_07 (01:05:09):
But I'm gonna get back there.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:10):
Top, top, middle percentage.

SPEAKER_07 (01:05:14):
I'm gonna get back there.
Cause this is what I said, toldmyself.
What?
If I'm not selected, well, Iknow I'm supposed to I should be
selected for the next all-stars.
Um then I'm gonna go on thisthis like transformation where

(01:05:36):
I'm not trying to put on likethe muscle muscle, but I'm gonna
like really yeah, like real cutin and and slim it down so that
I can get back.
Hopefully that may help, youknow, with my breathing and all
that stuff.
But I don't know if that's gonnahelp.
But I mean, I'll be able totrain differently too.
But uh I definitely said if I ifif because I'll probably throw

(01:06:00):
in the towel for challenge stuffafter this last one, um, just so
I can just do do me.
So I'll get back to the I'll getback to like under 200.
If I get under 200, yeah.
That's what I'm gonna do so Ican be a runner again.

(01:06:21):
Alright, so what are you oh sideeye?
Side eye of the week.

unknown (01:06:25):
Oh god.

SPEAKER_07 (01:06:26):
What's your side eye of the week?
Um my side eye of the week um isit's my my Jeep.

(01:06:46):
It's uh it's my dream car.
Like if I won the the Powerballwhen it was it a Powerball or
Mega Million, that was liketrillion dollars almost, a
billion dollars.
A billion dollars.
I would have bought a brand newJeep if I would have had two
billion dollars in my pocket, Istill would have bought a brand
new Jeep.
Right, you know, that would havebeen the first vehicle I'd have

(01:07:08):
bought.
Um and so I love I love my Jeep.
It's paid for, it's souped up,it got all the stuff I want.
And but the if you Jeep owners,I didn't know the death wobbles
when, you know, every now andthen some well, not everybody's,
but select vehicles at times, itgets to where the suspension
gets messed up and it uh it juststarts wobbling the front wheel.

(01:07:33):
And so you get it, you know,fixed, they'll put a new
suspension arm on it orstabilizing bar, and then it
fixes it.
But mine has been acting up, youknow, and I got it fixed like
three times and it's acting upagain.
And this time on the way towork, it uh made me stop twice
because it got so bad.

(01:07:54):
I'm talking about where Icouldn't even drive.
And then I pulled over andpeople's looking at me like, I
saw it wobbling, like, yeah, getout of here.
And um, it's just frustratingbecause it's like it was doing
perfect while I was had it andthe Tesla, but now since I'm
turning the Tesla in um inFebruary, um because old boy

(01:08:17):
nutting up, you know, I don'twant to fool with Tesla anymore.
Um but the Tesla's fine, amazingcar, but it's just the stuff
that's tied with it.
I don't want to be a part ofthat.
Um so um my girl's acting up.
So I know what's gonna have tohappen.
I have to get rid of her.

(01:08:38):
Because if I keep fixing astabilizer arm and it keeps, you
know, it's getting old, it'sjust it's like, yo, somebody
will get rid of her.
But I'm gonna get another one,then I'm gonna have to have a
car payment again.
I don't want a car payment.
But I feel like what I'm payingin the lease for the Tesla, if I
trade it in for whatever I can,hopefully it'll put back where
you work?
Yeah, my Jeep payment, you know,to be good.

(01:08:59):
Because that's what I'm gettingagain.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:01):
Um, you've decided that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:03):
Yeah, because I said I would love to have another
electric vehicle.
I love them.
They're the funnest things ever.
But will I be able to livewithout a Jeep?

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:13):
Oh.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:14):
Um I did want the truck, theJeep truck, but I think I just I
think I'm gonna get the Jeep.
Get a black one.
Never had a black one before.
Unless electric vehicle comesout with a great deal by the
end.
But hey.

(01:09:34):
All right.
What is your side out of theweek?

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:37):
Well, this I was trying to think, and I think I'm
gonna go with how I felt like Iwas treated in a store.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:46):
Oh, at the uh uh Anthropology.
Anthropology in Chattanooga.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09:51):
Yeah.
Um working with y'all customerservice.

SPEAKER_07 (01:09:54):
Yeah, I was like, one year downtown by the
convention center.
Oh, God.
I think it's Broad Street by thecoffee shop.
I don't know what this is.
Yeah, it's within the building.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:02):
But anywho, um just really I wouldn't have even paid
any mind because it was earlieron like they had probably just
opened.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:11):
No excuse.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:12):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:13):
No, I'm just saying, no.
It's not an excuse.
Um your A-Man corner.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:16):
And so I think I feel like I was the only person
in there at the time.

SPEAKER_07 (01:10:20):
Definitely no excuse.

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:22):
And so then I was walking around just really
browsing and looking, and umanthropology is really not a
store I typically like go tobecause I do think it's over.
I'm a bargain shopper.
They do have sale items though.
Um, and so uh but I went becauseI think it was just more
nostalgic because that's one ofJocelyn's favorite little

(01:10:43):
stores.
So I was like, well, let me justgo in because I never really go
in and look.
Look, I kind of just look in thewindow and kind of gave keep
going.
So I went in and so just took mytime just kind of looking
through things, and they hadsome cute things, and um, so I
didn't, I was like, nobody'seven said hello or anything like
that.
And so then um some other ladiescame in and they got a hello.

(01:11:06):
Hello, and then I finally got ahello because I think they
probably because made my facelook like oh so y'all do talk.
Um, and I don't know.
I my I would have said hello.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:20):
Oh, I thought you were talking to me.
Yeah, I would have said it allthe way from the other side.
They would be like, oh, oh,sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:25):
And I probably should have left, but I don't
know.
I felt like I was kind of beingjudged a bit of because of who I
am as a black woman or a blackperson, period.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
Anywho, uh maybe I don't know.
So I did like when we had gone,we had gone to anthropology.
I forgot where we were.
Remember, I was looking at thatinitial necklace and I saw that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:48):
It was in uh we were in um um uh uh um Detroit.
Not Detroit when I did Oh yeah,yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:58):
That was Detroit.

SPEAKER_07 (01:11:59):
Was that no, well, it wasn't caught.
That part wasn't we would flewinto Detroit, but yeah, it was
like right outside Detroit.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:05):
Yeah, that's where we were.
I was like trying to remember,and I was trying to decide that
did I want to get it then?
I was like, nah, I won't get it.
Anywho, so Or was that Napa?

SPEAKER_07 (01:12:14):
I don't remember where it was.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:15):
It was either Detroit Napa because it was a
little bit I was gonna get itthen because I really liked it.
And then um, so there I waslike, oh, let me see, because
they had some necklaces on sale.
But that's just supposed to beone of their signatures because
it wasn't on sale.
And so I was like, I ended upbuying it.
And I probably should have not,I probably should have done a a
pretty woman big mistake.

(01:12:38):
Big.
But I didn't do that.
I wanted to show them that,like, yes, I'll can buy
something in here if I want tobuy something in here.

SPEAKER_02 (01:12:47):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:48):
Um, and so um I did that.
They maybe didn't care, but Idon't know.
I felt like I needed to showthem that yes, we can buy things
out of here.
Um, and so um, anywho, that's myside.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:02):
Next time somebody does that, if we're with each
other, we're gonna say, Oh, Ineed your name and such and
such.
I said, Thank you.
I'm a secret shopper.
Oh, that's see what they say.

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:12):
We go, oh my God.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:14):
And then get off scared, and then we just walk
out.

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:17):
I thought about that too.
I thought about saying somethingabout that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:13:19):
Yeah, just say, Oh, I'm a um, well, yeah, you guys
didn't do too well.
I was sent in here by corporateas a secret shopper, so thank
you.
And I would take a picture andwalk out.

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:30):
Yeah, I started to side I am in that way.
I mean, I mean, not side I am,but that is my side eye, but I
started to eat like somethinglike that.
So, anyways, yeah.
Um, and I think for as much asthe things cost in anthropology,
they ought to all have a smile.
It doesn't matter.
Like I mean, it shouldn'tmatter.
I know I know, it shouldn'tmatter, right?

(01:13:52):
But I'm just saying, yeah, youknow, um, yeah, they were acting
pretty ho hoy toy-dy side eyesup in there.
So that's my side eye to them,and I don't think I will ever go
back in there again.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:08):
In that one, or just in the apology period.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:10):
I don't know.
Maybe I'll give them a shotsomewhere, somewhere here.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:13):
Yeah, you never know.
It might be somebody.
It might just be them.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:16):
Yeah, it might have just been them.

SPEAKER_07 (01:14:18):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:19):
And well, and it might have just been that whole
little place because I I on myway out of Chattanooga, they had
lots of coffee shops I wanted totry.
So I said, I'm gonna try two onmy way out.
So the one coffee shop I wentto, they were so sweet and so
kind.
I didn't really like theircoffee though.
So I'm not gonna say which oneit was.

(01:14:39):
Um, I didn't really like theircoffee, but they were so kind.
Um, and then the other one Iwent to was in that same spot
place where anthropology was,and they made the coffee.
And I always say, like, evenStarbucks, thank you.
And he didn't even look my way,respond back when I said thank
you.
So maybe that area is just thatbecause it's maybe maybe the

(01:15:03):
customers they deal with arethat way.
I don't know.
But it don't matter, but itdoesn't matter because if
somebody is kind and speakingand smiling and doing all the
things, you're supposed to besending.
Yeah.
So, anyways, yeah, they that I Iwon't ever go to that little
shopping area again.
I I just they were very, very.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:25):
I'm just lost out because we're getting ready to
be rich.
And we're gonna spend our moneyacross the street and let y'all
see it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:32):
Yeah, so anyways, that's how.
Yes, I'm gonna go back in thereand go, big mistake.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:36):
Yeah, big big mistake.
Buy some stuff and that I don'twant it anyway.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:41):
Oh, take it back.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:43):
Take it back.
Then we'd be acting as ugly asthem.
Yeah, we can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:46):
We can't do that.
So, anyways, that's my side eye.

SPEAKER_07 (01:15:48):
All right, so what are you looking forward to?
Between now and next episode,whenever that is.

SPEAKER_01 (01:15:56):
Um, well, I don't know if y'all know this, but a
few months ago, not a few, it'sbeen a little while now, um, my
hairdresser left me.
Maisha?
Maisha left me, and she movedback home because she was.

SPEAKER_07 (01:16:13):
Oh, Benny.

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:14):
She was with child, and she wanted to move home to
be closer to her family, and soshe left.
And I think my last visit withher was like May or April,
something like maybe May.
I can't remember.
Anyways, um, so I am now gettingready to try a new hairstylist

(01:16:37):
on Saturday.
So I'm really looking forward tothat.
I saw her work online, and itwas um um Masha was the best,
very sweet, kind, just a greatspirit.
So, and I found her onInstagram.
So I said, let me try again.

(01:17:00):
So I kept looking at looking,and I found this young lady, and
so I'm gonna try her onSaturday, and so I'm excited
because I think it's gonna begreat.

SPEAKER_07 (01:17:11):
All right, we're gonna have positive vibes, we're
gonna pray about it.

SPEAKER_01 (01:17:14):
I don't think the Lord would steer me wrong
because he knows how importantit is to me.
So I'm excited about um tryingthe a new hairstylist on
Saturday.
So that's what I'm doing onSaturday.
So I'm looking forward to that.

SPEAKER_07 (01:17:31):
All right.
So for myself, what am I umlooking forward to?
Um, I guess I'm I'm lookingforward to it, but not looking
forward to it, you know, gettingstarted.
Like I said, the this weekstarted the class, my my next
two classes.
But I know the sooner I startturning in assignments, the

(01:17:53):
sooner they'll be over with.
So um, you know, I'm kind oflooking forward to that because
then after that, I think I havelike three more actual like
working classes, what book workand stuff like that.
And then I have my practicuminternship, um, which I still
can't find the location.
Gotta find somebody.
And we'll talk about that nextweek, because I think it may be,
remember what we said?

(01:18:14):
Well, gatekeepers.
I think it may be somegatekeeping going on because I
emailed some more people andstill nothing.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:20):
Okay.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:21):
You know, and uh You're gonna have to drive.
I know, I'm gonna have to drivethere.
Um, but it's uh but it's likereach out to us and then you
don't well don't be you know, beprofessional.

SPEAKER_04 (01:18:32):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:32):
If you if you want somebody tocontact you, then contact is a
two-way street.
You know?
Um so I'm looking forward to youknow, starting classes so that I
can get started.
And I'm looking forward to thisweather.
I looked on the on 10-dayforecast.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:50):
It's gonna be fall.

SPEAKER_07 (01:18:52):
Yes, like I think after the rain next Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday, something likethat, or Sunday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, the temperature, thehighest temperature is gonna be
like 63 degrees.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:03):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:05):
It's gonna be perfect.
Oh, and a discovery.
They found mosquitoes in theAntarctica.
In Iceland or Antarctica?

SPEAKER_01 (01:19:13):
No, Iceland, you said.
Iceland, yes.

SPEAKER_07 (01:19:15):
Yeah.
And the first time ever, becauseof the temperatures have um
dropped so global warming.
Yeah, well, dropped, I mean,have risen so much that
mosquitoes are not found wherethey were never found before.
So all my people in the south,get ready, and the mosquitoes
are coming back.
And for me, mosquito hawks,they're gonna get her.

(01:19:38):
So, other than that, ladies andgentlemen, we're gonna get up
out of this thing.
Um thank y'all for sticking withus.
Um questions.
If you have any questions thatyou would like for us to ask, or
stories that you would like toshare with us, anything strange,
crazy you want us to talk about,even if it's just weird.

(01:20:00):
Uh leave us a chat.
Uh leave us a story, and uh ifyou put your name in there,
we'll say, hey, this story wasgiven to us by uh Crazy Daisy.
Crazy Daisy out of Minneapolis,Minnesota.
And we'll read it live on theair.
Well, not live.
Well, it'll be live to us, butby the time you get it yeah,
you'll still be live becauseyou'll be looking at it live.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:21):
That's true.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:21):
Because if you're not alive, you're dead.
You come on now.
Preach that word.
All right, so we're gonna get upout of here.
I am Kefla, Linda and Calvin'smiddle child.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:36):
And I am Lucretia, Curtis, and Ella.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:42):
Only daughter.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:43):
Only daughter, child.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:45):
That's right.
You're the first daughter.
So you're the oldest daughterand the youngest child, the
youngest daughter.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:51):
And the oldest acting child.

SPEAKER_07 (01:20:54):
So we're gonna get up out of here on that note.
This is the Refreshingly NormalPodcast.
We'll see you when we see you.

SPEAKER_05 (01:21:02):
Adios, backingly normal podcasts.

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