From Red Flags To Rebuilding: A Cheating Scandal, Financial Deceit, And Finding Peace

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 (00:23):
Welcome back, everybody.
This is Keith Look.

SPEAKER_05 (00:25):
And this is Kree.

SPEAKER_02 (00:26):
And this is the Refreshingly Normal Podcast.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
We have a good episode coming toyou today.
We have a great story about somecheating going on.
Mm-hmm.
And then we got a littleflashback of some things that
used to happen when we werekids.

SPEAKER_05 (00:47):
Flashback?

SPEAKER_02 (00:48):
Yes.
All right, so let's start off.
Miss Lady.

unknown (00:53):
Oh, ladies.

SPEAKER_05 (00:54):
Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_02 (00:55):
Alright, so tell me how was your week?
You had some great things going.

SPEAKER_05 (00:59):
Oh goodness.
I had a busy, busy, busy, busyweek.

SPEAKER_02 (01:04):
Today you said you were zoning today.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06):
Today, yes.
I had a I had a parent workshoptoday.
And uh I did very well.

SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
Good, good job.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17):
So I treated myself to Cafe Clement.

SPEAKER_02 (01:20):
I see your mouth shining real good from that
stuff you had to put on thecorner right now.

SPEAKER_05 (01:25):
Oh, wait, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (01:26):
Yeah.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_05 (01:29):
Is that better?

SPEAKER_02 (01:30):
Yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_05 (01:31):
All right.
Anywho, so I treated myself toCafe Clement on my way from.

SPEAKER_02 (01:37):
Would you say it's a coffee place or a sandwich shop?
No, it's a coffee.
Coffee?
Yeah.
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (01:42):
Like they they um roast and do all their beans
there.

SPEAKER_02 (01:46):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:47):
And they what else they make.
They make everything.
Well, they make everything.
And it was something else.
All of their pastries, breads,the tort.
Now listen, you go there and youget you a breakfast burrito,
their homemade tortillas arewill melt in your mouth.
They are so good.

(02:09):
So anywho.

SPEAKER_02 (02:10):
And it's it's not open on Sundays, right?

SPEAKER_05 (02:12):
No, they're not open on Sunday.

SPEAKER_02 (02:14):
Um, I think it's only half a day.

SPEAKER_05 (02:16):
Ciao, can I talk?

SPEAKER_02 (02:18):
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 (02:21):
I try to talk.
He act like he's on crack overhere.
I can't even get no words out.

SPEAKER_01 (02:28):
I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 (02:28):
Are you all right?

SPEAKER_01 (02:29):
Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05 (02:32):
Um, so it is open for breakfast and lunch.
I think they close like two orthree.
But yes.
You're all right.
So, anyways, I went to CafeClement today.
And that was nice.
And um, what I did notice, Ithought I really liked their

(02:55):
coffee before.
And I don't know, I think maybeyou know, something is new, and
so you think it's the bestthing.
But um, I noticed that I do likethe coffee because you can tell
that it is like authentic.
I know they get it shipped, butit kind of has a citrusy, you

(03:16):
know, coffee that has like acitrusy tang.
You know, coffee that's likethat.
I noticed that in their coffee.
And I I like a dark, rich.
I wonder what region is dark andrich.
No.
I don't know.

(03:36):
So, anyways, um, so anywho, um,I rocked out my uh parent
workshop today.
Um I had a training that I didthat's brand new that I
developed.
Um and it went very well.
That's good.
Um, despite me having a busyweek um and changes of spaces of

(03:59):
where the the training was gonnatake place, um it it turned out
very um it went really well.
So I was happy about that.
So um I think uh that is a Ithink that's all that I had
going this week.
Mostly work.
Nothing really, oh well I yeah,I had a I had an after work too.

(04:21):
Two days was it two days thisweek I had an afterwork.
I sure did.
Was Monday the 10th?

SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
Yes, yeah, Monday was the 10th.

SPEAKER_05 (04:29):
That's why I was so tired this week.
I had um uh evening virtualworkshop Monday.
I had an evening virtualworkshop Thursday, and I had a
new training on Wednesday thatwas a full-day training, um,
8:30 to 4.
And then we had um a crisis thatI had to help support um at a

(04:54):
school that was 8 to 4 onTuesday.
Um, then I had to get up thismorning and do another parent
workshop.
Um, so it was a busy weekbecause Wednesday I went to bed
at 7:30 p.m.
I was tired.

SPEAKER_02 (05:08):
Yeah, I was in the bed at 7 o'clock.

SPEAKER_05 (05:09):
We both were.
And we said we're just gonnarelax.
And then by 7:30, we were gone.
So, anywho, it was um a busyweek of good things.
Um, so that's about it.

SPEAKER_01 (05:21):
That's good.

SPEAKER_05 (05:22):
Now, what about you?
Nothing.
IEPs?

SPEAKER_01 (05:26):
Nope.
No IEPs.
No IEPs.
No, but you know, just physicaltherapy.

SPEAKER_05 (05:33):
Oh, yeah, you did have physical therapy.
How many days this week?
Just once?
Two?
Twice.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (05:37):
Uh did I go to the gym Monday?

SPEAKER_05 (05:39):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 (05:40):
Yeah.
I went to the gym Monday, but Icouldn't go the other days.
Um but I'm going back.
I'm starting next week.
I'm gonna go every day.
Um, do my thing and and uh startgetting up, try to get up early,
pray pray that I can get upearly.
We'll see.

SPEAKER_05 (05:54):
You're gonna try to go in the morning?

SPEAKER_02 (05:56):
I wanna do something in the morning.
So I'm um if I can get my cardioin the morning, and then I can
do I could really just have mytime to uh the weights and um
and uh mobility work.

SPEAKER_05 (06:11):
Oh, in the evening.

SPEAKER_02 (06:12):
Yeah.
Okay.
Because my goal is not to be inthe gym past an hour.

SPEAKER_04 (06:17):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (06:17):
You know what I'm saying?
So that's what I'm doing.
But other than that, man, I wasjust super tired.
Uh oh yeah, the girls had um myformer flag football girls, they
had their senior night.
And so I coached those girls forthree years, and so went to that
game and got very emotional.
And I told them it's okay tocry.
Uh because I was, you know, gotI got into my little, they said,

(06:40):
Coach, you gotta speak.
I was like, Well, you know, Iwant to show, you know, speak
because the other coach isthere, he didn't want to speak.

SPEAKER_04 (06:45):
Oh, he didn't speak?

SPEAKER_02 (06:47):
No.
So um I got up there and theparents wanted me to speak, and
so um, as soon as I got in, myvoice started cracking.
And they said, Oh Lord, oh Isaid, I said, to be uh, I'm not
even gonna try to hold it.
And I told them about, you know,it's okay to cry and you know,
stop telling young men that tonot, you know, show emotions.
I said, because then when youy'all out there dating and

(07:09):
you're dating an emotionlessman, you know what I'm saying?
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (07:14):
But they're not.

SPEAKER_02 (07:15):
Yeah.
And so uh that was that was goodbecause they won that game.
They they won in a in a uh whatdo they call it?
Uh something fashion, but uh itwas great.
They did very, very good.
Awesome.
Um so I was proud of them.
Um but that's it.
That's that's really my week wasjust uh kind of like paperwork

(07:38):
stuff, getting stuff together,um, progress support, stuff like
that.
But I was super tired all week.
But the kids were tired all weektoo.
All the kids, the teachers weretired, kids are tired.

SPEAKER_05 (07:50):
I think we're ready for Thanksgiving break.

SPEAKER_02 (07:52):
Yeah, very much so.
And then we getting ready to eatthe the very food that makes us
even more tired.

SPEAKER_05 (07:57):
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (07:58):
Turkey.

SPEAKER_05 (07:59):
Turkey.
So um um I've committed to I'monly eating turkey on
Thanksgiving Day.
I'm not eating it afterThanksgiving.

SPEAKER_02 (08:07):
Yeah, that might work.
But um, we'll see how that goes.
Um other than that, that was itfor my week.
Um this is I'm ready to getright into it.

SPEAKER_04 (08:19):
Okay.
You ready?
Ready for it.

SPEAKER_02 (08:21):
Let's get right into it.
So um, I guess this is gonna bepart of our uh Believe It
Sister.
Believe it sister section, youknow.

SPEAKER_05 (08:33):
How you did wait, how you did, believe it?

SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
Believe it.

SPEAKER_05 (08:36):
Don't nobody do that.
Not one single person.
They knew.

SPEAKER_02 (08:43):
Hey, now y'all used to be now they don't know.
Now you start, y'all used tostart all here, yeah.
Now they do.

SPEAKER_05 (08:50):
They grabbing the air, then they clapping and all
that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (08:55):
But you just believe it's so stuff.
All right.

SPEAKER_02 (09:00):
I don't know if that was back when Jive Turkey was
out.
Yeah, sure enough.
Yeah.
But anyway, let's read thisstory.
Okay.
Um, so I'm gonna read thesummary that our great friend
wrote for us.
Um, Mr.
Uh Chapat.
Choppitot.

(09:20):
Yeah, Chappa Tatot.
All right, uh, so here he goes.
And it's called The Text ThatUnraveled Everything.
So Dr.
Samantha Gray had been marriedfor 13 years when she was
seemingly innocent when she whenoh, when one seemingly innocent
text message blew her entirelife wide open.
Three days before Valentine'sDay, her husband texted her from

(09:41):
what he claimed was a work tripin North Carolina.
He even went so far as to sendphotos of the church service
telling her how amazing it wasand pointing out a particular
singer.
And but one quick Google searchchanged everything.
So he was like, Honey, I wishyou could be here.
Look at this lady, she'sperforming live, and this is her
name.
And so, this is what the wifedid.

(10:03):
So the church wasn't in NorthCarolina after she found out
through the Google search.
It was in Knoxville, Tennessee,where they had once lived.
When she found the live streamvideo of that same church
service, she instantly saw herhusband in the crowd wearing a
yellow sweater vest that she hadbought him.
Texting her while the whole timeshe's looking at him, he was

(10:25):
texting her because she waspaying attention to it live, and
he was texting her with one handand the other hand holding the
hand of a woman.

SPEAKER_04 (10:35):
A woman.

SPEAKER_02 (10:35):
And he wasn't getting praying hands.
The moment launched her into aquiet, relentless investigation.

SPEAKER_04 (10:44):
She was home alone.

SPEAKER_02 (10:45):
She was home alone, and so she was investigating.

SPEAKER_04 (10:48):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (10:48):
All right.
So she found an unopened, shefound unopened mail.
She found unopened mail showinghe had opened credit cards in
her name.
What?
Receipts for gifts, trips,restaurant dates, out-of-town
concerts.
All of this stuff she found.

SPEAKER_04 (11:06):
Oh.
She's going to jail.

SPEAKER_02 (11:08):
And guess what else she found?
She found a Christmas cardthanking him for spending the
holidays with another woman'sfamily.
Oh.
And that same time.

SPEAKER_05 (11:15):
And where was she at Christmas?

SPEAKER_02 (11:17):
At home, he said he told her that he couldn't work.
Oh, he had to work.
She was at home with um his twokids, which is her
stepdaughters.

SPEAKER_05 (11:24):
Okay.
Also, like wherever they'refrom, she took the kids, she and
the kids went.

SPEAKER_02 (11:31):
No.
Okay, you chilling here with theboys.

SPEAKER_05 (11:34):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (11:35):
Babe, I gotta work out of town.

SPEAKER_05 (11:36):
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (11:37):
So the whole time he's working out of town.
So he's trapped with the otherlady.

SPEAKER_05 (11:41):
He's saying he travels to work.

SPEAKER_02 (11:42):
Okay.
Because they're in technology.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, yes.
So she's at home, all right?
So, and not only that, becausethis is a summary, but while
she's at home, she finds outthat he buys one of the kids,
uh, her kid, the the uhmistress, buys her daughter a
hoverboard.
Remember the hoverboard thing?

(12:03):
And that same Christmas, whatdid he buy his kids?
Hoverboard.
Nothing.
Because he said times are toohard, and I have to work, that's
why I have to work out of townso that we can make more money
for the family.

SPEAKER_05 (12:14):
Trifling.

SPEAKER_02 (12:15):
Yep.
And he also did Thanksgiving outof town too.
Coming to find out he was withher family too.
So she was like, this is thefirst time we spent both
vacations.

SPEAKER_05 (12:22):
He didn't love her.

SPEAKER_02 (12:25):
Right, okay.
So let's move right along.
So I said, uh, yeah, he had towork.
So old phones and old computers.
She found those because theykept the old phones and old
computers.
And she said that stuff revealedover a decade of cheating with
at least 15 other women.
Sexually explicit messages,pictures, conversations about

(12:46):
her infertility, and evenevidence that some of the women
knew about her.
Oh.
Still in denial, she drove toKnoxville, Tennessee, tracked
his location, using.

SPEAKER_05 (12:59):
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Did you say still in denial?
She had to take a drive.

SPEAKER_02 (13:03):
Yeah.
Well, she one when uh he wassaying he was in Tennessee.

SPEAKER_05 (13:08):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (13:08):
Okay.
So she had to go this time.

SPEAKER_04 (13:11):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (13:11):
So she went to Knoxville, Tennessee, and he
would drive her car.
But her car is equipped with auh GPS.
So that's how she was able tofind him.

SPEAKER_04 (13:20):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (13:20):
And so when she found him, she saw him at a dog
park.

SPEAKER_04 (13:23):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (13:24):
Okay, with the person.

SPEAKER_04 (13:25):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (13:25):
All right.
So she's sitting there with theperson and she begins to film
him at the dog park.
But while she was filming him,she was also filming herself,
starting to talk about what'sgoing on.
And she didn't go up, and shesaid that became cathargic, and
that became like uh medit notmeditation, that became therapy
for her.
Okay.
Because, you know, just saying,you know.

SPEAKER_04 (13:43):
Talking through it.

SPEAKER_02 (13:44):
Right, talking through it because she didn't
want to tell anybody.
All right.
And so she said she processedthe whole thing in her
processing the whole thing inreal time, what was going on.
Okay.
And this part, I want to readthis now, but I I want to read
this later.
But okay, I read it now.

(14:04):
So she never confronted himdirectly about all the evidence
that she had.

SPEAKER_05 (14:09):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (14:10):
She never confronted him directly.

SPEAKER_05 (14:11):
Well, it really wasn't a need.

SPEAKER_02 (14:13):
Yeah, it wasn't, but I it kind of is.

unknown (14:16):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (14:17):
You know, but uh until she, you know, get your
stuff right.
Okay.
And so she told his family,packed up her life, because she
told his daughters too, beforeshe even told him.
And they were the ones that toldhim that she knew.
That yeah, oh, you cheating.
He's like, no, I ain't cheating,I ain't cheating, I ain't
cheating.
And so she never did say hi, sheknew.
All right.
So she began the divorceprocess.

(14:38):
Then another gut punch.
So before the divorce wasfinalized, she was um um looking
through all her paperwork andfound some insurance stuff.
And she saw that his newmistress.

SPEAKER_05 (14:53):
What kind of insurance?
Medical insurance.
Medical insurance.

SPEAKER_02 (14:55):
His new mistress had a baby, and they put the baby on
her insurance.
And then she saw that the baby'sname was the name that they had
agreed upon to name their kid ifthey ever were lucky or blessed
enough to have a baby.

SPEAKER_05 (15:13):
Oh, Lord.

SPEAKER_02 (15:14):
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (15:14):
What is past trifling?

SPEAKER_02 (15:17):
Um Xiflin.
That's what he was Xifling.
And so after that, she canceledthe insurance and stuff like
that.
So I guess, like, whatever wasgoing on, they, you know, didn't
pay for all that stuff becausethey denied some of the um
claims.
All right.
And so she said, but when thathappened, that really made her
collapse in grief and all thatstuff.

(15:39):
Because it's like, here I am,can't have kids.
And you give her the name of thebaby that we chose.

SPEAKER_05 (15:46):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (15:47):
And so she one point in the story she was saying she
could have been petty and beenlike, hey, you do know that your
child, your son, is named after,or or is named by.

SPEAKER_05 (15:59):
That probably wouldn't have mattered to those
women because they just saidthat some of them knew about it.

SPEAKER_02 (16:03):
Some of them knew, yeah, but I wanted this one new
because this is the one he stuckwith.
You know, a lot of times the oneyou stick with, sometimes they
they be the one.
Like my other ones, he wantsstick with and they knew about
it.

SPEAKER_05 (16:12):
But didn't some side pieces.
But did he stick with this onebecause there was a baby and
just kind of trying to do thething to not have it?

SPEAKER_02 (16:19):
Seems like this, the one that this one here in the
story, like they were in it.
Okay.
Because he was putting his wifeto the side for her.

SPEAKER_04 (16:27):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (16:28):
You know?
All right, and so let's see.
Um, so she said months followed.
She battled headaches, weightchanges, and emotional
exhaustive.
She scrubbed him from herdigital world and rebuilt her
life.
She said that took a while.
That took about a year.
Because you think about it,you've been together for 15
years, and however long socialmedia and all that stuff has
been, he's been in everypicture.

(16:49):
Not only has he been in pictureswith her, but pictures with
family members that have beentagged.
So she had to go through andlike find everything with him
and her in it together.
She said she wanted to rid himof all, you know.

SPEAKER_05 (17:01):
To get rid of him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (17:03):
And she said, but it's difficult because still
some friends and some family,you know, still had pictures,
maybe and scrub it.
Yeah.
And so she found the strength tolive on her own, support
herself, and reclaim herindependence.
So he was always uh in charge ofthe money, so she never knew
what was going on.
But what she did know was thatshe could afford to live by
herself because of her job andstuff.

(17:23):
So eventually she started datingagain slowly, and her new
partner, what he does is heintentionally leaves his phone
unlocked, he leaves his emailopen so that he can kind of and
she laughs about it because sheknows what he's doing.
He's trying to show that you cantrust me, but she's still a
little skeptical about doing so.
Understand.
And so, um, but the traumaremains complicated, she says.

(17:46):
Um, especially since theex-husband passed away.

SPEAKER_04 (17:53):
Oh, the trifling one?
Mm-hmm.
Or xyphlin one?

SPEAKER_02 (17:56):
Yeah, xyphlin.
Um so that uh that hurt mebecause I was like, she didn't
even get to tell him, reveal theplaybook.
Like this is how I knew.
You were so stupid.
Well, you showed me.
Like, after the divorce, likethat's when you'd be like, ah,
this is what I had.

SPEAKER_05 (18:14):
Oh, yeah, I would've It's kind of like playing cards.
She's she's really.

SPEAKER_02 (18:18):
Like once you win the game, then you show all your
other cards.
You'd be like, oh damn, I wouldhave lost anyway.

SPEAKER_05 (18:23):
I was just thinking about him opening up those
credit cards.
Like, was she responsible forpaying those?
Or like all these things that hedid, like, was she ever able to
do that?
But he probably lied about everable through the divorce to get
her money, to get her money.

SPEAKER_02 (18:38):
No, no, they didn't say none of that.
But he probably lied and saidthat, oh, I'm only making$80,000
a year, which you were probablymaking$200,000 a year and using
the extra money.
Because remember, she didn'thandle any finances.

SPEAKER_05 (18:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (18:49):
And he he lied so much and heopened up credit cards and
paying space.
In her name.

SPEAKER_05 (18:54):
Yeah, but her name, so to me, I would have, if it
were me, I would have filedcharges.

SPEAKER_02 (19:01):
Oh, I'm sure she did.
So that's what I was wondering.
Yeah, her not knowing that.

SPEAKER_05 (19:04):
Did she file charges?

SPEAKER_02 (19:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (19:06):
Was he, did he have to pay that?
Even for the medical insurance,like that baby being added on
and all those things.

SPEAKER_02 (19:16):
But get this, Dr.
Gray, that's the lady.
She is actually a professor,have been.
Um, she was, even though she'sin tech, she is a professor on
the clinical psychology side.
And she teaches couples andfamily therapy.
So some of the family wastripping.
It was like, how in the world,if you teach couple and family

(19:36):
therapy, did your family fallapart?
But she said this.
She said, just because a personis a gynecologist, it doesn't um
uh eliminate them from evergetting cancer.
Yeah.
You know, you know, uh cervicalcancer.

SPEAKER_05 (19:50):
Or breast cancer.

SPEAKER_02 (19:51):

SPEAKER_05 (19:52):
Yeah, I mean that.

SPEAKER_02 (19:53):
And I was like, yeah, I said, I like that
analogy because you often hearpeople say, how you, you know,
do this if this is your job.

SPEAKER_04 (20:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (20:02):
You know, how you get caught up if this is your
job.
Just because it's my job doesn'tautomatically, you know, keeping
it.

SPEAKER_05 (20:09):
No, because she wasn't dealing with something
that that was a therapeuticthing.
She was dealing with somebodythat um was beyond therapeutic
work.
Like he he um the things that hewas doing, I mean, for one, they
were beyond mistrust.
Yeah, they were illegal.

(20:31):
Very.
Um, so yeah, that that being uhshe actually did use her um
skills when she decided there'sno need for me to confront him.
Yeah, she went about it verypeacefully, very appropriately
to protect her own peace.
I mean, she definitely did tapinto her therapeutic ways

(20:52):
because she could have gone off,right?
And it could have been realugly, but she did use her
therapeutic skills and she wasable to maintain um her
composure and tap into thosethings to be able to get through
that.

SPEAKER_02 (21:08):
To get the information she needed, but of
course, her therapy she neededtherapy, which is remember she's
just saying how she was havingthese headaches and all these
other problems a after the fact.

SPEAKER_04 (21:18):
You know?
I can see.

SPEAKER_02 (21:19):
How would you have um or how could you imagine like
I'm calling you?
Yeah, I'm I'm in uh Africafeminine challenge.
And then all of a sudden youwatching the Beyoncé concert, or
it's like the cold play, and allof a sudden you see me on like
the cold play situation wherethat man uh was with that lady

(21:42):
and they they put the membercamera and they got caught
cheating.
But I was supposed to be inAfrica feminine challenge.

SPEAKER_05 (21:48):
Uh-huh.
Um, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Well, you said you're vindictive, so next thing
you'll be you'll be at somebodyelse's concert with somebody
too.

SPEAKER_05 (21:58):
So No, I mean, no, no, no, no.
I think that's that if datingwise, yes, I know.
Dating wise, yes.
You're like, what?
Dating wise, I'd be like, oh,all right.
That's how we that's the game weplaying.
And I probably would screenshota picture of the video on what I
saw online and say, and sent itto you and said, so this is what

(22:19):
we're doing.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (22:21):
You said this is in Africa.
This is the challenge.
What challenge was this?

SPEAKER_05 (22:24):
Yeah, this is what we're doing.
Okay.
And that's all I would havesaid.

SPEAKER_02 (22:28):
And then this is what it is.

SPEAKER_01 (22:30):
This is what it is.

SPEAKER_05 (22:31):
Because I mean, what can what could the person, you
know, or whatever, say?
Um, yeah, uh cheating in church.
But what is so dumb is likethis, I mean, he really thought
he had this thing figured out.
Yeah, he did.
I mean, to be as bold as theyhad.
This singer is great and da dada da da and saying all these

(22:53):
things.

SPEAKER_02 (22:54):
I wish you were here right now.

SPEAKER_05 (22:56):
Yeah, and it's kind of like oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 (22:58):
And she said she was just looking up because she
wanted, who is this sister he'stalking about?
And he and she said when shelooked it up, she saw her dates
of where she was.
Yeah.
And she said, Oh, to wait aminute.
Today it says she's inNashville.

SPEAKER_05 (23:11):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (23:12):
Not in Carolinas, or whatever he said he didn't.

SPEAKER_05 (23:14):
That was nothing but the Lord said, Oh, this is what
you're doing in church.

SPEAKER_02 (23:17):
Yeah, my uh putting it on me, God said, Oh, you put
this on me?

SPEAKER_05 (23:19):
Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (23:20):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (23:22):
Okay.
You gonna put this on me?
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (23:25):
So, um, yes.

SPEAKER_05 (23:28):
Because he was just real comfortable.

SPEAKER_02 (23:30):
Yeah, he was.

SPEAKER_05 (23:31):
Real comfortable and ziphling.

SPEAKER_02 (23:34):
Yeah, oh, zeiflin.

SPEAKER_05 (23:37):
What would you do vice versa?

SPEAKER_02 (23:39):
Um, you know, I I'll keep my evidence and then I'll
just I'll uh I'll ride with itand see what else happening.

SPEAKER_05 (23:49):
Would you do the same as a lady?
Never say.

SPEAKER_02 (23:51):
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm once I once I got my uh onceI got my my all my ingredients
to bake my cake.

SPEAKER_04 (24:02):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (24:03):
Yeah.
Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (24:05):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (24:05):
Um, right, yeah, once I got all my ingredients
and they lay it out on thecountertop.

SPEAKER_05 (24:10):
Uh-huh.
And you come in, oh, we finnaeat a cake.

SPEAKER_02 (24:12):
Yep.
I'm finna bake something, allright.
And it starts with this.
Boom.
Have a little sp a littlesprinkle.

SPEAKER_05 (24:20):
Oh, so you setting up a whole little bacon like you
really cooking.

SPEAKER_02 (24:23):
Mm-mm.
I'm saying my ingredients.
Oh, okay.
So my ingredients.
So here's it'll have a littlesprinkle of culture at the
church.
Oh, and then I got a cup of yourphone records.
And then I got a pound of yourvideo, which you was with her at
the dog or him at the dog park.

SPEAKER_03 (24:40):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (24:41):
So I'll lay it out.
But I would lay it out like uhlike she did when she said she
didn't say nothing until thedivorce stuff was in order.

SPEAKER_05 (24:50):
I think yeah.
I think with all that she hadand all that he did and how much
he had to lose, I wonder, didshe think he might get a little
crazy is why she didn't.

SPEAKER_02 (25:01):
No, I think she had doubts, which is why she went to
dig deeper.
And when she dug deeper, likeshe had doubts all along, like
about him, the relationship.
Okay.
And so when she dug deeper,these were some things that
confirmed why she felt the wayshe felt.
Because, like you said, becauseshe had 15 years of women that

(25:24):
that, right.

SPEAKER_05 (25:25):
Yeah, so once she started digging, she was like,
wait a minute.

SPEAKER_02 (25:29):
Okay, oh, so this I remember this day it seemed off,
but I'm just trusting you.
And then, oh, and then this daywas off.
I'm trusting you again.
You know, and so I think, youknow, she started it digging
deeper and it started confirmingher doubts or confirming her
intuitions and stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 (25:45):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (25:46):
And um, and I just and I think that she just which
is why she didn't go to himbecause she wasn't even, she was
done.

SPEAKER_04 (25:54):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (25:55):
Because a lot of times I think in a relationship
when somebody sees that, theyfeel like, okay, well, what can
we do to fix this?
Or even to say, was it me?

SPEAKER_05 (26:02):
Yeah, but that's a long time.
That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 (26:05):
Even to say, was it me?
Was it me the reason why, youknow, a lot of people go for
that.
Yeah.
You know, but it was, she didn'tsay mentioned none of that.
Of course, we, you know, whoknows?

SPEAKER_04 (26:14):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (26:14):
Um, but she didn't mention it in the letter.
And um, but I really think, Ithink she had some kind of
inkling of a doubt thatsomething was going on, which is
why she kind of just played itthe way she played it.
But no, I would I would uh Iwould too, I would just hope I
would I would collect all myinformation and um and just ride
out to on the sunset, man.

(26:35):
It is what it is.

SPEAKER_05 (26:36):
And I think I don't know, and I know there are lots
of ladies out there where theirspouses um handle all the
finance.
You need to know something.
Yeah.
Um, I just don't believe in justallowing someone just to have
control of all the money and younot to to know what's going on.

(26:58):
What's going in?
Yeah, what's going in, what'sgoing out, periodically checking
your own credit to see whatcards are there, what's going
on.

SPEAKER_02 (27:08):
Because even if it ain't him, it could be a scammer
from outside somewhere couldjust be going through shit.

SPEAKER_05 (27:14):
I just, yeah, and and I don't know.
I just, you know, people, peoplewhat you say all the time,
people disappoint y'all everyday.

SPEAKER_02 (27:20):
Yeah.
I mean, the people, what I sayis humans will do the human
thing.
They're either gonna disappointyou or they're going to, you
know, make you feel comfortableand happy.
They have the propensity to dothat.
That's just human nature.
You have the propensity toeither make somebody either
disappoint someone or you haveit to make that person happy.

(27:43):
You just do.
It's a 50-50 chance off the rip.

SPEAKER_05 (27:46):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 (27:47):
So.

SPEAKER_05 (27:48):
And sometimes it's unintentional, but things, you
know, things happen.
But I don't know.
I just think for women who Iknow that some women maybe stay,
like, and for her, she, if I'mnot a stay, I understand some
people are like stay-at-homemoms.
So if the money's not, you'renot really bringing in the
money.

SPEAKER_02 (28:06):
Yeah, she's bringing it in, too.

SPEAKER_05 (28:07):
Yeah, but she was bringing in the money.
And I mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 (28:11):
He was probably spending some of hers.

SPEAKER_05 (28:12):
Oh, I mean, probably spending a lot of hers.

SPEAKER_02 (28:14):
On that, on that chick.

SPEAKER_05 (28:16):
On all the chicks.

SPEAKER_02 (28:17):
Oh, yeah, all the chicks.
I forgot.

SPEAKER_05 (28:18):
All the chicks.
Another chick is expensive, butall chicks, that's really
expensive.
If, if, if how can he do that?
If I go to work every day in mylife, I need to know.

SPEAKER_02 (28:29):
That's that's hard.

SPEAKER_05 (28:31):
15 chicks?

SPEAKER_02 (28:33):
That's a lot.
That's a lot of people notknowing where to eat.
But if you're gotta decide 15chicks where to eat.
But that's a lot.

SPEAKER_05 (28:43):
But if you um are doing all that traveling, I
mean, that's what made it easybecause he traveled all the time
and she just trusted that he wastraveling for work.

SPEAKER_03 (28:55):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (28:55):
And he had um booze and all the places.

SPEAKER_02 (28:59):
He had a pinky ring on and he put on his cologne
like this.

SPEAKER_05 (29:03):
And a rat tail.
That's that's what he did.

SPEAKER_02 (29:08):
When you when you travel like and put your cologne
on like that, you gotta watchout for them latest.

SPEAKER_05 (29:13):
I wonder how he died.

SPEAKER_02 (29:15):
On top of me.
Ain't that what it's how hedied.
On top of that.
On top of me.

SPEAKER_05 (29:25):
Wasn't doing nothing good.

SPEAKER_02 (29:27):
He ran out of gas.
He hit that 100 mile.

SPEAKER_05 (29:30):
And the poor thing is those kids his children
probably got used to her.
And I wonder how thatrelationship.
Oh, he cut it.

SPEAKER_02 (29:37):
I bet he cut him out, kicked him out.
Get out! Man.
Get out of my house.
Oh, they felt sorry for him,probably.
You know, they was like, yo, mydad's trifling.

SPEAKER_04 (29:46):
Mm-hmm.
So I don't know.
I wonder where their mama was.

SPEAKER_02 (29:51):
Oh, but it was cheating in 4K.
He got caught on live screen.

SPEAKER_05 (29:55):
Yeah, that's what a little Xiflin butt gave.

SPEAKER_02 (29:58):
Xiflin.
Ziflin.
That was just a m.
Yep.
Yeah.
She had to she had to turn intoher investigative powers.

SPEAKER_05 (30:07):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 (30:08):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (30:08):
Yeah.
Then, you know, like recently,one of my friends shared a story
about one of her investigativepowers.
Yeah.
And similar to Mr.
Xiflin.

SPEAKER_02 (30:19):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (30:20):
This one got a little bold too.

SPEAKER_02 (30:22):
And you know what that's I I thought about that
when I was reading, I said,mm-hmm.
I said, this is crazy.

SPEAKER_05 (30:28):
This um must be the season.
Now, Xyphlin was different.
I mean, like, Xyphlin, that'sXyphlin.
Now, this other one's Triflin.
Yeah.
But Xyphlin is in a whole otherbrand.
Well, let me say.
Because we know, yeah, theyclose because she told us all
about Xiflin.
Now, Triflin.
We don't really know we don'tknow all that trifling might be

(30:49):
up to.

SPEAKER_02 (30:50):
Because he could, right, he could.
This is caught stuff.
Yeah.
Trifling is caught stuff.
Xyphlin is shared stuff.
Yeah.
Of being caught.

SPEAKER_05 (30:58):
Yeah.
So, like one of uh my friends,they had an incident where she
realized that one of her friendswas dating a guy who already was
living with somebody.
And she asked me, should um shetell her friend?

(31:19):
And I said, of course.
And she said, I said, if it wereyou, would you want her to tell
you?
And she said, Yeah.
And I go, well, then you have totell her.

SPEAKER_02 (31:30):
I would say.

SPEAKER_05 (31:31):
And uh I said, so you have to tell her, you know,
and I said, then she can decidewhat she wants to do with the
information.
But um I think she'd be morehurt to know that you knew, and
then you let her sit up and anddeal with this person a little
while longer than maybe shewanted to.
And then, you know, you can tellher, and if she decides that's,

(31:53):
you know, she alright withsharing, then you did your part.
And so she did tell her.
And um the person was she wasvery disappointed and upset, and
she said she was so happy.
She told her she said, if Ididn't think you were a real
friend before, I definitely knowyou're a real friend now.
Um, and so she's deciding whatshe wants to do about the whole

(32:17):
um situation.
Um, so um, yeah, but definitelylive with somebody and then had
the nerve to say uh he livedwith his cousin.
And his cousin had a daughter,and they didn't want to have
women in and out, so that's whyshe couldn't come to the house.
So he had lots of stories too,just like Xiflin.

(32:39):
Xiflin.
Just like Mr.
Ziflin.
So yeah, it's it's um our cousinum who is out in the dating
world, uh, Fugger, she said it'shard in these dating streets.
I know it is.

SPEAKER_02 (32:52):
So uh because social media makes it so easy for you
to link up with people.
You know, back in the days itwas it was uh you had to, I
mean, you could still cheat, butyou think about meeting
somebody.

SPEAKER_05 (33:05):
Yeah, you weren't gonna meet so many people.

SPEAKER_02 (33:07):
Right.
You had to meet somebody throughsomebody a lot of times.
It took a little time.

SPEAKER_05 (33:10):
Or you went to a party, but it was really
community-wise.
It wasn't like you could meetsomebody in in Oklahoma and then
travel to Oklahoma and see themlike now there's access to
travel to places and you canmeet people all over.
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (33:25):
So if you want to cheat, you can you can have a
cheating filter, meaning thatonly people outside a 50-mile
radius.
You know, I'm only gonna cheatat Oklahoma, I'm only gonna
cheat in in Vegas or wherever.
Yeah, it's it's it's a loteasier now.
Um, yeah.
Um, these streets are somethingelse.

SPEAKER_05 (33:41):
I'm sorry for people that I hope y'all can find the
love of your life.

SPEAKER_02 (33:45):
You'll find it, you'll find it.

SPEAKER_05 (33:46):
You're gonna find it.
Just just pay attention to thered flags.
If you're dating somebody andthey don't ever let you come to
their house, yeah.
Red flag.

SPEAKER_02 (33:59):
He either cheating or homeless.
One of the other one or the two.

SPEAKER_05 (34:02):
Or he lived with his mama.

SPEAKER_02 (34:03):
I don't know.
But even with his mama, a lot oftimes you still want to come to
the house.
You probably can't stay over andsleep.
But he's gonna be like, hey, youknow, come over to my mama.

SPEAKER_05 (34:12):
But he could be like trying to pretend like he's more
than what he is.

SPEAKER_02 (34:14):
And if he tells you that you live with mama that.
Well, yeah, oh yeah, if he don'twant to do that, then yeah, get
him up out of there.
If they don't want you to comeby, period.

SPEAKER_05 (34:21):
No, that's don't, don't do it.
Don't do it because somethingisn't right.

SPEAKER_02 (34:26):
Now, fellas, it's different if the girl don't want
you to come by, because shestill might think you're a
little psychopath.
And she's trying to be safe.
But as I want that joker to knowwhere I live.

SPEAKER_05 (34:34):
But at some point.

SPEAKER_02 (34:36):
Yeah, at some point.
Now, if you don't alreadyscrubbed each other's insides
and outsides, then she don'twant you to come over, then cut
her to the curve.
She's dumb.

SPEAKER_05 (34:47):
Yeah, there's something going on.

SPEAKER_02 (34:49):
Yeah, it's yeah, cut her to the curve.

SPEAKER_05 (34:50):
Because to what I hear to the curve.
I mean what I hear, the womenare just as trifling as the men.

SPEAKER_02 (34:56):
Oh, yes.
And y'all think y'all are moresneaky, like to say, men, women
cheat better.
Child, please.
Y'all don't cheat better.
Y'all cheat too.
Men cheat, yeah, and all thatstuff.

SPEAKER_05 (35:08):
But I think everybody, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (35:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (35:10):
Y'all just be careful out there.
Just pay attention to the redflags.

SPEAKER_02 (35:14):
She should have called Tammy.
Cha.

SPEAKER_05 (35:18):
Don't call Tammy.

SPEAKER_02 (35:19):
Yeah, she should have called Tammy or Tamar on
that show.

SPEAKER_05 (35:23):
Please.
Do not call Tamar.

SPEAKER_02 (35:26):
But what is it called?
Caught in the act?

SPEAKER_05 (35:27):
Tamar is a massive.
Have y'all ever watched thatshow?

SPEAKER_02 (35:31):
That's I love that show.

SPEAKER_05 (35:33):
She is funny on that show.
She is amazing.
I love that show.

SPEAKER_02 (35:37):
The funniest one to me was when that guy was hired,
that personal trainer, and thatman was giving him.
Did we talk about that lastweek?
Uh-uh.
The man was giving him uh, hethought he was getting weight
loss gummies, but they wereregular gummies.
What I was saying.

SPEAKER_05 (35:51):
Yeah, they were regular gummy bears.

SPEAKER_02 (35:53):
And weight loss shape, but he was getting weight
gainer shape, so he could usethe guy more.

SPEAKER_05 (35:58):
He paid that man thousands of dollars over a time
period.
And they they caught him in thegarage with a big bag of gummy
bears, and he had bought thewhite plastic peel containers
and was making his own labels.
And they think they taking uh umuh fat burner um gummies, and in
actuality, it's just regular oldgummy bears.

SPEAKER_02 (36:18):
Yeah, like sour worms and ketchup.

SPEAKER_05 (36:20):
He was so hurt when he saw that man.
I mean, he jumped on that man sofast.
I was like, buddy.
That is a mess.
People you that's what I say.
People do you never know.

SPEAKER_02 (36:31):
That's supposed to be one like And that was
supposed to be his friend.

SPEAKER_05 (36:33):
Yeah, that was his friend.

SPEAKER_02 (36:34):
Well, it was the girl was his friend.
She started dating the trainer,and they all became friends,
yeah, and became friends, and soshe was mad because the girl
knew that the trainer was beingattracted to me.

SPEAKER_05 (36:44):
Yes, because they were childhood friends.
Childhood friends.
And she knew.

SPEAKER_02 (36:49):
And she knew.

SPEAKER_05 (36:49):
And she didn't tell them.

SPEAKER_02 (36:51):
She let it.
That thing.
That thing.
See, people be look, y'all gottastop letting that thing have
control over y'all.
I say that to don't I say thatto the boys all the time.

SPEAKER_05 (37:01):
Yeah, mistreat the people you the people that
really love you.

SPEAKER_02 (37:04):
I tell them, don't let that thing whip you too much
where you it you ain't thinkingstraight.
Hey, mm-mm.
I don't care what they say.
Now that thing with a rain, itcan whip you.
That thing with a rain, hey,it'll have you thinking crazy.
Oh my god, it'll have you overtalking at the beginning of the
podcast.

SPEAKER_05 (37:24):
Child, y'all heard him.

SPEAKER_02 (37:26):
The thing with a rain.
Something serious.

SPEAKER_05 (37:30):
What did he have?
Doritos dipped in crack.
And I'm fiending.
Lord have mercy.
Child, be quiet.
Moving on.

SPEAKER_02 (37:39):
All right.
So let's get on to um, so thisweek is the, well, this week
coming up, the week that y'allare listening to the pod.
Um oh, and those of you thatwould be traveling, you'll have
a lot of stuff to listen to.
Either while you're standing inTSA line, waiting on your
flight.
I'm not even gonna say that yourflight gets canceled, but you

(38:00):
know, we're gonna pray about it.
But driving on the road, yeah,our stuff is family friendly.

SPEAKER_05 (38:06):
It sure is.

SPEAKER_02 (38:06):
Yeah, I think we only probably say like two cuss
words.

SPEAKER_05 (38:08):
Yeah, maybe down.

SPEAKER_02 (38:10):
Yeah.
Three now.
Ass.
Four.
And so, um, but you can listento it the whole trip.
Yeah.
Yep, the whole trip.
Yep, yep, sure can.
But anyway, okay.
So this week at school, um, theysent it out to the teachers
only.
So, you know, the kids havetheir like homecoming week,
they'll dress up as twins andsport day or as uh character

(38:32):
day, all that stuff.

SPEAKER_05 (38:33):
What are y'all doing it for?

SPEAKER_02 (38:35):
Because it's an it's another way of like anytime
before a break.

SPEAKER_05 (38:38):
Oh, y'all do some kind of like a spirit week.

SPEAKER_02 (38:40):
They call it uh what do they call it?
Undercover or hidden somethinglike that.
Oh, okay.
Hidden Spirit Week orundercover.

SPEAKER_05 (38:46):
But only the teachers doing it, not the
students.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (38:49):
Right, right.
And so they was like, don't tellthe kids, you know.
So only teachers, so Monday islike pajama day.

SPEAKER_05 (38:55):
Don't tell the kids.

SPEAKER_02 (38:56):
No.
Oh, okay.
No.
Only um only Monday, Monday ispajama day.
And then uh You gotta get somepajamas.

SPEAKER_05 (39:03):
Do you have pajamas for that?

SPEAKER_02 (39:04):
No, I want some, I wanted some real pajamas, like
either Fabletics or Comfortpajamas, but you know, I'm not
gonna wear no regular streetpajamas.
Because my pajamas gotta bedifferent.
Gotta be pajamas everybody gonnahave.
Because kids wear pajamas everyday, so I'm gonna be dressing
like them on a regular.
You know what I mean?
But if you wear something that'sreally fly, but dang, okay.
I need to step my pajama gameup, you know.

SPEAKER_05 (39:24):
Fabletics has pajamas?

SPEAKER_02 (39:26):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 (39:26):
Oh.

SPEAKER_02 (39:26):
Yeah.
They had the the Christmas.

SPEAKER_05 (39:28):
Oh, we can go to the alley.

SPEAKER_02 (39:29):
That's what I'm gonna say.
You can go to the alley.
Okay.
But anyway, um, they got guesswhat Thursday is.
Red khaki and red day to dressup like you work in a
lumberjack?
No, like you, that's Friday.

SPEAKER_05 (39:47):
Y'all, y'all ain't dressing up like a lumberjack.

SPEAKER_02 (39:50):
That's Friday.
Even beard.

SPEAKER_05 (39:53):
Really?

SPEAKER_02 (39:53):
Yeah.
Oh my god.
But Thursday is target day.
Dress up like Target employee.
We don't do that.

SPEAKER_05 (40:02):
We don't.

SPEAKER_02 (40:02):
No, we don't.
Um, but Monday is pajama.
I forgot what the other two daysare.

SPEAKER_05 (40:10):
Who thought a lumberjack?

SPEAKER_02 (40:12):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 (40:12):
Who is in charge?
Who's in charge?

SPEAKER_02 (40:15):
Come on now.
You know who who ain't incharge.

SPEAKER_05 (40:18):
Lumberjack and target day.

SPEAKER_02 (40:20):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (40:20):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (40:21):
Okay, so what's Tuesday?

SPEAKER_01 (40:23):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (40:25):
I don't remember.
Yeah, I don't remember.

SPEAKER_05 (40:28):
I would not even be participating.

SPEAKER_02 (40:30):
And you know, pretty much I'm not.
But um That's a shame.
Yeah.
But uh, you know how it is?

SPEAKER_05 (40:39):
A lumberjack.

SPEAKER_02 (40:40):
Yeah.
So, but anyway.

SPEAKER_05 (40:42):
Oh, uh I wonder if one of the days dressed like the
kids.
I've seen a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 (40:46):
No, they're not doing that.

SPEAKER_05 (40:46):
Kids on TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 (40:47):
I mean, I would I would probably do that one.
So I could dress up like thekids, you know, um with uh my
hoodie on, my headphones, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (40:58):
Um what else they do?

SPEAKER_02 (40:59):
I probably well, I wouldn't wear no blanket.

SPEAKER_05 (41:01):
Yeah, you have to do a blanket.

SPEAKER_02 (41:03):
Well I'll have to get a pair of Kahari's pants and
wear some real tight pants orsomething like that.
Um because you know they bewearing that.

SPEAKER_04 (41:10):
Kahari don't have no tight pants anymore.

SPEAKER_02 (41:12):
Oh, yes, he does.

unknown (41:14):
What type?

SPEAKER_04 (41:15):
Oh, be quiet.

SPEAKER_02 (41:16):
No, man.
He don't oh, he don't have notight pants on him.
Nope.
Oh, oh, he because he liked towear He likes his pants baggy.

SPEAKER_05 (41:23):
He don't have any more tight pants.

SPEAKER_02 (41:24):
I tried I be trying to help him up to wearing his
pants.
My student today told me, shesaid, Coachel, you've been PT PT
PTSO and all uh P You've beenPTSO and all week.
I said, Oh, okay, I appreciatethat.
What is that?
Putting that sh on.
Oh.
You know, with the dress, howyou dress.

SPEAKER_05 (41:46):
I told you.
I said, whoa, what you trying tobe cute today.

SPEAKER_02 (41:50):
Yeah, I just felt like I.

SPEAKER_05 (41:51):
He was cute all week, honey.

SPEAKER_02 (41:53):
So what am I to up?

SPEAKER_05 (41:54):
So who he looking cute for?

SPEAKER_02 (41:56):
Looking cute for you.
But you said you was coming tomy job.
I was gonna try to pick up thatjob.

SPEAKER_05 (42:01):
So um he was on, I had to go to his job to do um uh
a meeting.
And so I um had on my littleblack knee boots with a heel on,
and he was like, I got to put onsome of my tennis shoes.
They got a little um not a heel,but a little more height to it.
A little more height to itbecause they're gonna say Coach

(42:22):
Hare's wife taller than him.
Yeah, you want them to have melook it all crazy.
I didn't see him anyways.
He was too busy.

SPEAKER_02 (42:27):
Yeah, that's what I do.
Yeah, I didn't know.
He's busy, Nelson.

SPEAKER_05 (42:30):
He was too busy.

SPEAKER_02 (42:31):
All right, so let's talk about since we're talking
about uh people dressing up,right?
And I forgot to talk about thisduring uh Halloween.
Yeah, during Halloween.
But um, I remember growing up,and you know, we didn't, and you
know, people used to think wewere rich.
Um, but primarily because, youknow, I don't know why.

(42:54):
But we weren't rich.

SPEAKER_05 (42:56):
You don't know what was in your parents'
pocketbooks.

SPEAKER_02 (42:59):
I know, I know sometime mama when the gas man
came out and she told me shesaid, uh, write the check for
the gas, but ask them, can weonly pay$50?
Oh, okay.
Instead of filling up the wholetank.
Normally, I think it was likealmost$90 to fill up the tank,
and that'll last for a longtime.
Okay.
Tell them we can only do that.
And I remember saying themcalling the phone people and

(43:20):
saying, can we pay a little nowand then pay some more?

SPEAKER_04 (43:23):
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (43:24):
I remember that.

SPEAKER_04 (43:25):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (43:26):
So and I remember them saying,we can't do this because we
gotta wait till payday.
Okay.
And then we'll be able to buywhatever.
We can't pay for a baseballuntil, you know.
So I know a little somethingthat was in their pockets, you
know.
Um, but anyway.

SPEAKER_05 (43:42):
Anyways.

SPEAKER_02 (43:43):
When it came to stuff like Halloween.

SPEAKER_05 (43:45):
Yes.
All right.
Um Now Halloween was my mom'sfavorite.
It's one of her favorite littleholidays.
So when it came to costumes, wewere gonna have costumes.
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (43:58):
Now we had costumes.

SPEAKER_05 (43:59):
Yeah, but they were.
Were they purchased?

SPEAKER_02 (44:02):
No.

SPEAKER_05 (44:02):
Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02 (44:03):
I was not purchased.
Because for us, for us, blackfolk, period.
Well, I don't know, I know blackfolks in the country.
Whereby is a hobo.
Yes.
My brother was a big boy.
I was a hobo once.
But I'm saying we could just buya mask and walk around in
regular clothes.
Like I had this on, put a maskon.
And it's like, oh, then you seethat cool mask he had.
And that's it.

(44:23):
And you was the character justbecause you had the mask and
jeans and a t-shirt.

SPEAKER_05 (44:27):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (44:27):
So, and you know the mask wasn't expensive, but it
was the plastic little mask.
Yeah, that it was sweaty.
And you hated putting on a maskthat somebody else, let me what
uh, you know.
Because their breath wasstinking.
Their breath was stanking.
And their mask stank.
And then sometimes you kept themask and you had to use it for
the next year.
But the rubber band broke.
So they would take, put a littlehold and tie it on there.

(44:48):
But that don't fit the same,because you know, if you tie it
and it slip, you gotta keeppulling it up.
But the rubber band keepspressure on that.

SPEAKER_05 (44:54):
Well, I will say for Halloween, I did always get a
new costume.
I mean, costumes have come along way since we were little.
I mean, I remember the like thelittle plastic mask in the front
and like a little something onthe bottom that came, you know,
that you bought.
It wasn't, yeah.
So I would get a a costume everyyear because Halloween was um my

(45:16):
mama liked Halloween.

SPEAKER_02 (45:17):
So tell me some of the things that you dressed up
in.

SPEAKER_05 (45:19):
Gosh, I can't even remember.
Like the little white princessplastic face.
You remember that little plasticface?
She had blonde hair.

SPEAKER_02 (45:24):
Was it Cinderella?
Because I think it was theCinderella one was everybody was
Cinderella.

SPEAKER_05 (45:29):
Yeah, yeah.
I had that.
I had that.
I remember one time being awitch, and I had the witch dress
and the black wig and uh paintedmy face green.
Um, yeah, I had that.
I'm trying to think of what elseI've that I was for Halloween.
I can't remember all things, butI was always something.

SPEAKER_02 (45:52):
Yeah, we was always something.

SPEAKER_05 (45:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (45:54):
But whether it was But it was purchased.
Yeah, no, not for the.

SPEAKER_05 (45:57):
Now, for the boys, I remember everybody was that
devil thing.
The plastic devil mask.
They had the red, black.

SPEAKER_02 (46:04):
I had that.
And one year I had to pitch forit.

SPEAKER_05 (46:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (46:06):
I was bummed.
I had to pitch for it.

SPEAKER_05 (46:08):
I'm trying to think whatever else.
I remember my brother was ahobo.

SPEAKER_02 (46:11):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (46:12):
Uh remember that.

SPEAKER_02 (46:13):
I was a hobo several times.

SPEAKER_05 (46:14):
We had Halloween parties.
My mama would do littleactivities with the kids in the
neighborhood, and we would dothat, and then we would go
trick-or-treating.
The church that was like a blockup from us, they always had
where the kids in theneighborhood could come and do
activities there.
So we would stop by there andthen go trick-or-treat.

SPEAKER_02 (46:33):
Our churches didn't do it.
No, we had mom's mom and daddy'sfriends, like Angie M and all
that, they would come to thehouse so that the kids would
walk with us in our community.
Because, you know, they lived inMills, Mills at the house too
far away to walk, you know.
But in Beulah Heights,everybody, and then everybody
knew everybody.
So it was always, we start at myhouse, then we go pick up Tony

(46:54):
now, and then we go over there,like if Visa was at Teeny's, and
then whoever was on the othercorner, my cousin now, and then
it would just be like 50 kidsjust walking.

SPEAKER_05 (47:05):
Now my brother would first, they would make my
brother take me first, but he'dtake me real quick, and then he
go do like, you know, histrick-or-treat.
And then my daddy would take mearound to all his friends'
houses where you where I wouldget whole candy bars and money.

SPEAKER_02 (47:19):
Now I ain't getting on that.

SPEAKER_05 (47:20):
And my daddy would, I would so it'd be just me and
my me and my daddy were around.

SPEAKER_02 (47:24):
We'd get regular little candy bo candies and
stuff like that.
Um and they weren't doing no bagsnatching.
No bag snatching.
We had bag snatching.
No bag snatching.
If you snatched the bag in ourneighborhood, you was gonna get
beat down.
Like, and like because everybodywas gonna chase you to find out
who you were, uh-huh, and thenthe bigger cousin or whoever it
was was gonna take up for yougetting that candy snatch.

(47:47):
So we didn't play that in theworld.

SPEAKER_05 (47:48):
There was a certain time when candy the bag
snatching would happen, and soyou knew be done by that time.
Do you remember when we workedat um Blair and Dr.
Harrison had told the kids, shetold the students the day before
Halloween, she goes, I know youall are going trick-or-treating.
She says, Please leave yourcandy at home.

(48:10):
You are welcome to bring a fewpieces to have for your lunch.
But if anybody brings a full bagof candy, I am going to take it.
She took it.
So listen, in the morning, um,there, all the kids at a certain
time before school started, theymet in the gym in a line, grade

(48:34):
level by teacher.
Um, and so they were all in thegym, and um, all of a sudden,
here she comes and she says,Good morning, boys and girls.
I need for everybody to unziptheir backpacks and hold it
open.
And she went down the rows.
And when I say she took thecandy, she meant it.

(48:56):
Boys and girls, she took it andshe did not give it back.

SPEAKER_02 (49:01):
Nope.

SPEAKER_05 (49:02):
And those children were so hurt, she said, I told
you yesterday, do not bring thatcandy to school.
She said, So if you brought it,this is the consequence.
So all year, and she and so thenshe um told the teachers in a

(49:22):
staff meeting, um, I have plentyof candy.
So at any point y'all need alittle picking me up, please
feel free to just walk into myoffice and get all the candy
that you need.
Yeah.
And so all year, we was alwayscoming and getting candy.

SPEAKER_02 (49:35):
I used to go to the office every day just to get
candy.

SPEAKER_05 (49:38):
We had candy.

SPEAKER_02 (49:39):
I love it.

SPEAKER_05 (49:40):
Now, when we think about Halloween now, what?

SPEAKER_02 (49:42):
Oh no, I said, Do you remember at that school when
we did the hunted house?

SPEAKER_05 (49:46):
I didn't do the haunted house.

SPEAKER_02 (49:48):
We did the hunted house at the school.
I didn't do that.
Because upstairs we did the uhshe allowed us to we put plastic
and so the kids would walk upfrom that far end by the the
entrance where the bird chasedme all the way to the end that
goes to the library.
And they was able to, and sopeople would stand in y'all's
classrooms upstairs, yeah, andthey would jump out at the kids.

(50:08):
Yeah, and we had plasticseparating the sections.
Yeah.
So she she bought us uh uh likeyou know, plasti like regular
plastic that you would you useput on the floor for painting
and stuff like that.
And we put uh lights and stuffin there, we had flashing
lights, and I was like, which itwas my idea.
And she went with it, and it wasso good.
Yeah, I didn't know.

(50:29):
It was probably out in themstreets then, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (50:31):
I probably was out in the streets.

SPEAKER_02 (50:32):
In them streets.

SPEAKER_05 (50:33):
But yeah, I don't remember that.
But I will say now Halloween isso different because these
children, I mean, they get someelaborate costumes.

SPEAKER_02 (50:42):
Hold on, I ain't say about mine.

SPEAKER_05 (50:44):
What costume?

SPEAKER_02 (50:45):
My costume.

SPEAKER_05 (50:46):
When?

SPEAKER_02 (50:46):
Growing up.

SPEAKER_05 (50:47):
You said you was a hobo and you said you was the
devil.

SPEAKER_02 (50:50):
That's all I was.
Okay, yeah.
What else were you at?
I was that for one Christmas.
Oh, okay.
Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_05 (50:54):
What else were you at?

SPEAKER_02 (50:55):
All right.
My other, I was Dracula onetime.

SPEAKER_05 (50:57):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 (50:58):
And I wore my daddy's smoking jacket.

SPEAKER_05 (51:00):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (51:00):
Yeah, I wore my daddy's smoking jacket, and my
mama put some red lipstick rightthere for blood.

SPEAKER_05 (51:04):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (51:04):
And I had plastic teeth.

SPEAKER_05 (51:06):
Your daddy had a smoking jacket?

SPEAKER_02 (51:07):
Yep, had a smoking jacket.

SPEAKER_05 (51:08):
Every man can Vietnam.

SPEAKER_02 (51:12):
You know, with an Afro had a smoking jacket.

SPEAKER_05 (51:14):
I'll say Calvin Hare.

SPEAKER_02 (51:15):
Yeah, they had no smoking jackets.
And then I was a ghost.

SPEAKER_05 (51:18):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (51:19):
And you know what my costume was?

SPEAKER_05 (51:21):
A sheet.

SPEAKER_02 (51:22):
Yep.
And then another year, I was aghost with all white uh
sweatpants and sweatshirt on.

SPEAKER_05 (51:29):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (51:29):
I was a fitness ghost.

SPEAKER_05 (51:31):
You were not.

SPEAKER_02 (51:32):
I was a ghost, but she said, what do you?
She said, a ghost.
And so she went to uh uh likeFred's and bought me a white
sweatshirt and white um bottomsand said you a ghost.

SPEAKER_05 (51:46):
Now Linda You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Linda
Hare.

SPEAKER_02 (51:51):
The next year I was a mine.
So I couldn't talk to nobody.

SPEAKER_05 (51:57):
And your face was painted.
Yeah.
I bet you were all into it.

SPEAKER_02 (52:00):
Another white sweatshirt and sweatpants.
So it was like less than$10.

SPEAKER_05 (52:04):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (52:05):
Um, and then uh one time I went, and guess what I
was?

SPEAKER_04 (52:09):
What?

SPEAKER_02 (52:09):
I was an usher.

SPEAKER_04 (52:11):
Like church.

SPEAKER_02 (52:11):
So I wore my Usher pen and my white gloves.
And she said, look, be an usher.
And I would go to people.
And I would go to people'shouses.
And just do like that.
Tell them give me candy.
Cause I had to, I couldn't gomad.
So I'm like, oh well.
But some of my fits were betterthan other kids.

(52:33):
Cause some kids, they just oneone of my homeboy, he had a big
shirt on.

SPEAKER_04 (52:38):
And what was he?

SPEAKER_02 (52:39):
His daddy.
And the um the uh car shirt.
You know, when you work at theuh the like a uh mechanics.

SPEAKER_05 (52:51):
I said, What do you?

SPEAKER_02 (52:51):
I'm my daddy, and we walking around.

SPEAKER_05 (52:53):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 (52:54):
Kids be their mama.

SPEAKER_05 (52:55):
Who are you, little boy?

SPEAKER_02 (52:56):
And they got a wig on.
I'm my daddy.
Yeah.
They got a wig on, they theymama.
My great grandparents had thebest uh a few times they would
pass out uh drumette, uh-huh,fried chicken, and you would see
the uh whole robe be filled withchicken bone.
But they would put like threepieces of chicken in the um in
the baggies, and kids would comeand get that chicken and get on

(53:17):
up out of there.
And um, that was this thing.
We used to Bigfoot used to live,well, the actual, we thought the
actual Bigfoot lived uh aroundthe corner from the club.
And so, I mean, even if itwasn't Halloween, when you
rolled your bike, you rolledaround that curve real fast.
Because we always, growing up,Bigfoot, side squats lived in

(53:38):
the woods, which people say theysaw them.
And I'm talking people that webelieve say they saw them.
And I think I saw them a fewtimes too, you know.
I think I did.
Because I saw something in thewoods, and it was big.
So we would run from Bigfoot,and then people's dogs would be
out, and we would run from thedogs and stuff like that.
So it was good times growing up.

SPEAKER_04 (54:00):
Y'all did not see a lot.

SPEAKER_02 (54:01):
And then one time I was in the 11th grade, had just
got my car.

SPEAKER_04 (54:06):
Yes.

SPEAKER_02 (54:06):
And um, so no, 12th grade when daddy got me that
car.
And this guy, he played footballwith us, but he got uh he played
with Kirks, I'm sorry.
And he got paralyzed.
And um, and he driving around,he had the uh a beretta.
It was a beretta car.

(54:27):
But berettas came out, and thethe city gave it to him.
And on the top, he had thewheelchair thing on there.
So, you know, he would get outand push the little button of
the wheelchair, pop down, boom,and you get in.
And so it was like a, it lookedlike a vein or Vans had that big
uh covered thing.
That's what it looked like ontop.
So he riding around with that,and he got friends in his car,
and they egging people.
And they egged my car.

(54:49):
I went in Pigly Wiggly's, got a9-1-1 on the payphone, told the
police what it was, and I said,I'm standing right here, y'all
better go.
And they just kept egging mycar.
And I said, Don't worry aboutit.
I called the police, I'm like,No, you didn't?
The police pulled up.
But the police didn't do nothingbecause, you know, it's a small
town.
He's a uh hometown hero.

(55:09):
You know, but I let them know.
And they was like, man, he'slike, man, all right, man, I'll
the police said, Well, we can'tpress charges.
And he said, Keefe, man, why areyou doing it?
I said, I told you.
I was crying.
Oh, I just got their car.
It was painted.
Look at they already got itchip.
Ain't nobody gave no, they gaveyou a damn car.
Ain't nobody give you a pay forthis car.
And so, and uh, they was like,Well, all right, well, can y'all

(55:32):
wipe it off?
He couldn't wipe it off becausehe's in the wheelchair.
Yeah.
So he got his friends out there,he wiped it off.
And, you know, they knew not tosay nothing because my, you
know, everybody knows my dad andstuff, and my dad do a lot for
the community.
So, but and people was like,Man, you done told you called a
911 on the wheelchair.
I said, You right.

SPEAKER_05 (55:46):
That's right.

SPEAKER_02 (55:47):
He messed up my car.

SPEAKER_05 (55:48):
He wasn't acting like a wheelchair person.

SPEAKER_02 (55:51):
So everybody knows who that was.

SPEAKER_05 (55:53):
He was being ziyed.

SPEAKER_02 (55:54):
Man, if you listen yet my whole time, you
listening.
Yep, I called the police onsmoking.
He egged my car.

SPEAKER_05 (56:02):
They probably thought you was just pretending.

SPEAKER_02 (56:05):
They probably did, but I was for real.
Because I was like, man, I workhard, you know.
But you know my dad.

SPEAKER_05 (56:10):
You didn't work hard, your butt your parents
bought the car.

SPEAKER_02 (56:13):
Well, I work hard to do right.
Right, okay.
You know, and like you justegging my car.
So my car now, all the chips andmy car, I used to wash that.
You know, when you get yourfirst, because that was my first
real car.
My first car was my mama's carthat I couldn't let go of the
steering wheel because I go in aditch.
And I had the the uh spoonhanging on the steering wheel

(56:33):
because that's how I used tohunt the horn.
I take that spoon and hit thatmetal uh screw and it would hunt
the horn.
That was my first car.
But then when they got that car,the Sentra, it was painted and
it was gifted to me like this isyours.
I was like, oh, I watched itevery weekend.

SPEAKER_05 (56:49):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (56:50):
Every weekend.
And he's gonna do that to me.

SPEAKER_05 (56:52):
How blessed you are to get such a nice car.
I've always paid for my own car.

SPEAKER_02 (56:57):
Hey.

SPEAKER_05 (57:04):
My first car was given to me, but it was just
like your mama's first car, thetempo I got.
I had a Ford tempo.
Oh child, that thing was a mess.
Yeah.
But I was happy to drive it.
I was too.
But then I um wanted somethingthat had air conditioning.
Oh.
Um, and I wanted something thathad a radio that had more than
just AM.

(57:26):
And I was like, well, my momsaid, I said, if I work, can I
buy, can I buy myself a car?
And they were like, yes.
So I worked and I bought my owncar.

SPEAKER_02 (57:34):
I wasn't gonna get a car if I had to work and pay for
it because I was playing sportstoo much.

SPEAKER_05 (57:38):
I was a cheerleader dancer.

SPEAKER_02 (57:41):
I'm talking about I was playing sports.
Oh baseball, yeah, football, andsoccer.

SPEAKER_05 (57:46):
No, I didn't have that many activities.

SPEAKER_02 (57:48):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (57:48):
But yeah, so that I did.
I was uh every car that I'vehad, I've paid for it.

SPEAKER_02 (57:54):
That's good.
One day I'm gonna be able togive you the key, like look at
this.

SPEAKER_00 (58:02):
You're like, for me?
So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (58:05):
And it's gonna be out of some discretionary.
I was gonna say because yourmoney is my money, but I'm
saying it's gonna be somethingthat was like all of a sudden,
you know, this kind of moneythat came out.
Unexpected money.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (58:17):
Unexpected money.
Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (58:18):
And it won't be where we done went look for the
car.

SPEAKER_05 (58:21):
Okay.

SPEAKER_02 (58:21):
Yeah, it's gonna be where like if I buy you some
shoes.
Oh, I bought you some shoes.
Oh, thank you.
Like that, oh, I bought you acar.
What'd you say?
What you say?
I bought you a car right outfront.
Filled with gas.

SPEAKER_05 (58:32):
All right.

SPEAKER_02 (58:33):
Yep.
Now, what you was gonna sayabout the kids now.

SPEAKER_05 (58:36):
I was gonna say nowadays for the kids for
Halloween, there these costumesare so elaborate, and parents
spend a pretty penny oncostumes.
Um, I mean, I can't evenimagine.
But we weren't doing that.
No, and they weren't alsoweren't available.
Well, maybe they were availablesomebody.
I shouldn't say that becausethere probably were places where

(58:57):
kids did have elaboratecostumes, perhaps.
But um now it's just like a bigto-do these costumes these
children get.

SPEAKER_03 (59:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (59:07):
And then this year, everybody was on the kick of the
whole family dress in a theme.

SPEAKER_02 (59:12):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (59:12):
I know there's so many people.

SPEAKER_02 (59:13):
Yeah, we wouldn't, my family wouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_05 (59:15):
Oh no.
First of all, we spend all thatmoney, they be real clothes, is
what we're buying.
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (59:22):
What y'all dressed up at?
The Cosby Show.
Right.
Good times.

SPEAKER_05 (59:27):
Yeah, good times.
Oh, what else we dressed up at?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (59:31):
But you remember what we used to, what our trick
was for the boys?
And we did it every What did wetell?
After Halloween, what did we do?

SPEAKER_04 (59:41):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (59:42):
We would go, like Old Navy, get those costumes
when they was on discount.
Oh yeah.
And we would get like fourcostumes each, wouldn't we?

SPEAKER_05 (59:51):
Well, they were little.

SPEAKER_02 (59:52):
Yeah, because they would have dress up.
But the boys like to dress up athome, too.
Yeah, but they would, but itjust it was like the thing.
It was, it was, you know, howmost.
People say, well, I have to buysuch such cost.
Wait till Halloween?
Get all them princesses,dinosaurs, and all that stuff.
And now you got a freakingcloset full of stuff that was
like 75% off, 80% off.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:12):
Yeah, we did that when they were little, then
probably about kindergarten,first grade is when they
started.
Like little, like we did little,but when they were kindergarten,
first grade, they got to gochoose what they wanted.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:23):
But they still say we still bought, remember,
because we were in the house andwe had the snow day in um the
house we were renting.
Remember, they put on a costumebecause they was like, ooh,
let's do this.
You know, because they had thecostumes that we had already.
They love to put on a good showfor us.
We always purchase uh costumesafter Halloween season.

SPEAKER_05 (01:00:41):
Yeah, because then they can have for pretend and
all that.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:45):
They would use them for uh pajamas and stuff like
that.
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
So that was our little trip downmemory lane.
Yeah.
So hopefully, if y'all had anycostumes like us, you know, I
had a big shirt.
I was my daddy one time.
I mean, my friend with my daddy,I was an usher.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:03):
I wonder what else people were.
We know we said the hobo.
I bet it was some clowns.
Some busts people were someclowns.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:11):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:11):
I don't that was.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:12):
I knew a lady looked like a clown, but that was her
regular man.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:14):
Probably some grandmas.
The hobo.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:16):
People dressed up as a grandma.
That was her regular.
Now you know what granny used todo?

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:20):
What?

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:20):
When we would come over for stuff like that, she
would she would uh scareeverybody.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:25):
I could see her doing it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:26):
She would scare everybody.
Did she take a her false teethout?

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:29):
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:29):
And then she would run and chase the kids when they
would come to the house for atrick-or-treat or whatever.
And I mean, she would do that.
And my mama was fast, so shewould, when you take off
running, you would know backwhere we live, it we only had
that one light that was by Mike,you know, in the corner.
Uh-huh.
So you run and hit trees,bushes, and all that kind of
stuff.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:48):
Uh uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:49):
Those were the good times.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:50):
Good times.
Good old times.
Good times.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:52):
Good old times.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:53):
And next week is.
Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 (01:01:56):
No, week after.
Yeah, two weeks is Thanksgiving.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:59):
Oh, we save Thanksgiving talk for next week.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:00):
Yeah, because we'll film and then we'll talk about
the road.
Yes.
But we're going to probably haveto film too, because we gotta
film something to release whilewe're away.
Yeah.
Maybe we'll release an episodeon Thanksgiving.
So Thanksgiving morning, sopeople have something to listen
to when they're cooking.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:18):
Yeah.
Y'all gonna listen to us whiley'all cooking.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:21):
Yeah, we're gonna talk about food and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:23):
Yeah.
Share some good recipes.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:25):
Mm-hmm.
Good old stuff.
All right, so um side eye of theweek.

SPEAKER_05 (01:02:35):
What's your side eye of the week?

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:37):
My side eye of the week.
Um I really did did I have one?
It was it was something thatwent on, and I said, I'm gonna
I'm gonna I got a side eye this.
Uh oh, I'm in physical therapy.
You know, getting my therapy on,getting getting all therapized.
And this little kid just runningaround, playing with all the

(01:03:01):
like the therapy balls andstuff, just in not getting
therapy, he with his mama, who'sthere for the daughter who's
doing therapy.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:09):
Okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:10):
But she's just letting him run all around.
Yes, just letting him run.
I'm talking about he's runningall around, kicking the soccer
ball, and I'm like jumping outthe way.
Watch out, kid, watch out.
And then letting him do, youknow, what he do.
Lil Tommy.
Yeah, little little um Ryanrunning around doing all that
stuff.
And I was like, I know thisjoke.

(01:03:31):
Do you see your kid get him?
And then she got him and thenlike went to the front, and then
uh he's messing with the cupsand getting the water and stuff.
Like, not once did she sayanything.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:41):
Like just say, hey, stop.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:44):
None of that.
She just looking at justgrabbing, mm-hmm.
And the little girl, while shewas doing therapy, she wasn't
doing right, her therapy right.
So I said, this whole familyjust dysfunctional.
And I'm just looking at them thewhole time.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:56):
They're struggling.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:57):
And then they're looking at me and say, uh, uh,
Dr.
Hare, your kids like that inclass?
I said, nope.
I said, I said, nope.
I said, uh-uh, my kids know Idon't play that.
And then they the little girllooked at me.
I said, that's right.
Look at me.
Yeah.
What's your side eye?

SPEAKER_05 (01:04:19):
This is not really a side eye.
It's well, it's kind of a sideeye, but so on Saturday, uh, my
in-laws were here um helpingwith the with the uh what's it
called?
The barn dough.
The barn dough that my umbrother-in-law has, that they
were building walls and doingall things.

(01:04:40):
So they were cooking frying fishfor they're frying fish for
everybody for for we they werefry fish, they fry hush puppies,
they fried fries, it was potatosalad, green salad, all the
things.
So the boys, um, Kibani had comehome for the weekend because he

(01:05:02):
knew his grand and papa weregonna be here, and so um, and
then he just likes to come hometoo.
So he came home, and so theboys, Key had gone earlier to
help the men do all some of thework, and um the boys and I came
over later.
Um, so we come over and we staytalking to everybody and they
fry and all stuff, and so we getin the car, the boys and I

(01:05:25):
leave, and I said, Y'all, wesmell like fried fish.
So my Sinai is like that wholelike when you're in a home that
when people fry fish, I hateleaving smelling like what
people cooked.
Like, even when you go to aMexican restaurant and that

(01:05:47):
fajita, somebody buy you gotfajitas, or they come by you
with the fajita thing, and thenyou leave and you smell like
fajitas.
So I was when we drove home, Iwas like, yo, we smell like
fried fish.
And they were like, oh, we do,we do.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:04):
But it was smelling, it was strong in the house
because we haven't smelled fishin a while, fried fish.
Yeah.
So when I went in, I said, Oh,we're gonna be smelling like
fish.
I thought it instantly.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:14):
Because, like, for me, when it comes to like frying
things, if we can, I wouldprefer to fry things outside.
Because I just don't like for ummy house to smell like fried
pork chops, fried chicken,fried.
If we can fry outside, I wouldprefer to fry outside because it
seems like it takes a couple ofdays to get out your house.

(01:06:35):
And we have like hot even wehave high ceilings, and still
it's like, oh, we fried,somebody fried something
yesterday.
Um, so, anyways, my side uh it'sthe fried smell like fried.
But at least we didn't haveanywhere to go after that
because I remember one um I wasin Fashionetta and a girl um had

(01:06:57):
just come from her grandma'shouse and they had fried fish
and she came.
I said, Somebody smell likefish.
And um, yeah, at least we didn'thave to go anywhere.
So we were um you know what uhable to come home, shower up,
and be fine.
What do I do when I grill?
You shower right after.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:16):
Immediately.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:17):
Yeah, he does it like if he grilled, when he gets
done before the food is served,he goes to shower and then eats
because he smell he don't likesmelling like the smoke.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:28):
I don't like the smell like all in my nose and
and just the smell like you knowthat.
So I like it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:34):
I can wait to get home because I don't know the
last time that I've had thatbecause we don't fry inside.
You don't fry.
No, and at Grand and Papa's theyfry fish outside.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:44):
Yeah, we don't even fry.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:45):
No, we don't fry.
Yeah, you're right.
I don't know when the last timeI fried something.
So, anyways, yeah, that was myside.
I smell like fried.
What did we have?
It was fried mullet and friedsome kind of trout.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:58):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (01:07:59):
Was it white trout?

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:00):
Probably so.
I think it was white trout, iswhat we had.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:04):
Yeah, I didn't eat any fish because we had gotten
those chicken wings, but yeah, Ididn't eat it, but I just didn't
want any fish.
But the potato salad and otherstuff was really good.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:12):
Yeah, I didn't want any fish.
Mom was mad that I didn't wantno fish.
But I ate the hush puppies.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:16):
But she's like, you don't want my fish.
I don't like mullet.
Yeah.
It's too fishy.
Yeah, and it it when I was, Iwas like And then the other fish
have bones, and I don't like toI I I'm a little bougie to bones
because when I was little, allthe way till many, many years
older, my daddy always made surethat there were no bones in my
face.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:37):
You gonna fish.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:38):
You're gonna eat that bread with your no, my
daddy made sure there were nobones in my fish.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:42):
That with the bones in your throat, that bread, and
that meat.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:45):
No, my daddy was not gonna make me do that.
My daddy took care of me.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:49):
Nope.
So, anyways.
Yeah, you booze, you ain't gotno survival skills.

SPEAKER_05 (01:08:53):
Anyways, had a good daddy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:08:55):
Yeah.
He ain't no survival skills.
No, he he was he he failed youbecause if you ever had to eat
fish because we struggling, andthat bone getting, you ain't
gonna know how to act.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:04):
I know you're supposed to eat bread, but I
didn't have I didn't have toworry about that.
I knew how to do it, but Ididn't have to do it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:11):
But Paw Paul made sure.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:13):
Yes, that I did not have to do bones in my fish.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:18):
Well, we was taught how to eat right.
You were just so greedy.
Papa knew you were greedy.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:25):
Sorry you weren't as loved as my aspect.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:27):
Papa knew you was greedy.
I was greedy.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:28):
And I and guess what?
I still am greedy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:31):
Eating all those just slow down.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:32):
I've been greedy all my life.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:34):
Slow down.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:34):
I think people made me that way because when I was
little, they said I would clearmy plate all the time, and
people would say, ooh, that girlcan eat.
She cleared her plate.
And then I think theyconditioned me to that.
So now I'm greedy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:47):
No, if you could call it that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:53):
That's a true story.
That is so true.

SPEAKER_02 (01:09:56):
So what are you looking forward to?

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:58):
Oh man.
What am I looking for?
I'm really just looking forwardto break, to be honest.
Um, yeah, I'm looking forward tobreak.
Only thing about break I'm notlooking forward to is we're
driving to um Kansas.
I think we've talked about this.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:12):
Yeah, I'm looking forward to the break as well.
I'm not looking forward to thedrive.
Um, it's not that I despise thedrive, it's just the distance of
it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:21):
Well, and we haven't done it in so long because
normally we fly.
But goodness gracious, theseairline tickets.
Have we ever driven your car?
No.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:29):
We haven't, huh?

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:31):
I mean that's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:32):
Yeah, because the last time we drove, I want to
say, yeah, we flown, but thelast time we drove, we had a
Tahoe.
Right?
Or we rented a car.
Did we rent a car?

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:41):
I don't think my Tahoe, I don't think the Tahoe
never was went.
I don't think the Tahoe everwent.
Now, because when Hathaway came,we rented a minivan.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:49):
But I'm saying the last time we, because I got a
ticket.

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:55):
Oh, it might have been a Tahoe.
No, we have driven a Tahoe.

SPEAKER_02 (01:10:58):
I think it was a Tahoe.

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:59):
You're right, we have driven a Tahoe.
It was like a ticket.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:01):
I was like, man, that's the first ticket I had
in, it was like Ooh, yeah, along time.

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:07):
Yeah, since now we got Waze.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:09):
Yeah, since we've got to be amazing.
Waze, make sure y'all right.
Yeah, 20, 2008.
Is it a long time?
So that ticket was 2000.

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:16):
You better knock on some wood.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:17):
Yeah.
18, something like that.
So, but uh now we got otherdrivers.
Ooh, I'm scared.
I'm scared, y'all.
I know you are, but I'ma I'maroll it for a while.
I'ma roll it for a while.
They might want to drive, butI'm gonna roll it for a while.

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:33):
I'll drive.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:35):
I'ma roll it for a while.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:38):
I will drive.
So I'll start us off.

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:40):
It will be all right.
I'll start us off.
So, what uh what are youthankful for?

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:46):
Um, let me see.
Well, you know what I'm reallythankful for?

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:51):
What's that?

SPEAKER_05 (01:11:51):
Um, I am really thankful for currently in my
job.
I have some ladies who believein um doing work.
No, well, yeah, that bud.
I have ladies who do.
Tell the truth.
Goodness gracious, yes, I dowork with ladies that do all

(01:12:12):
those things.
Okay.
But um, that people that offerum recognize the work that you
do and and uh throw so manycompliments like your way um and
recognize when you do a good joband make sure that they tell you
that.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:30):
That's good.

SPEAKER_05 (01:12:31):
Um, yeah, so I I appreciate that.
Um not that I ever doubted thatI don't do amazing work.
But it's good to hear it.
But it's good to hear it.
Yeah, it's good to hear it.
So, anyways, um I'm thankful forthat.
And so I try to reciprocate thatum to um my team of people.

(01:12:51):
And I and even there, I've justnoticed just the shift in the
people that are not even on myteam who still um um have been
kind enough to share whatthey've noticed.
So um I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for that.
What are you thankful for?

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:07):
Um, but just one thing.
Like with that, I was I was thenwalking in the hallway today and
I had some students who saidthey came to look for me.
And, you know, it's justcoaching senior-wise, I was kind
of, what's your office?
I'm like, you know, I have myoffice over here, but I'm never
in my office.
And it just made me feel goodbecause I was just thinking,
like, these jokers don'tappreciate nothing I'm doing
around here.
You know, they treat me like Idon't know.

(01:13:29):
You know, I'm freaking doctorhell walking around these halls.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:32):
Tell them.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:32):
You know, and so, but my I had some students that
said they were looking for me,they just wanted to see me.
And I said, This is why I'mhere.
You know, I ain't got it it washis perfect timing.
He was like, This is why you'rehere, not for what you just said
earlier.
And I was like, Yeah, you'reright.
And so it, you know, I put mylittle George Jefferson depth

(01:13:52):
and walked on back to myclassroom.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:55):
All right, George.
George.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:57):
What am I grateful for?
I'm grateful for uh I'mgrateful, I'm grateful for that
moment, moments like that.
I'm grateful for God's timing.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:07):
Because every time I doubt something, like when I say
I'm done with TV, I'm done withreality stuff, he always either
give me a phone call, hey, willyou be available?
Or somebody recognize me, said,Bro, I appreciate you for being
real on those shows, not fallinginto the reality trap.
You know, you're a down homeperson, and we really need that

(01:14:28):
in TV.
Every time, every single time Ithink about quitting, you know,
or letting it go, something popsup to say, I'm needed in that
space.
And um, you know, even like yousaid, with teaching and and
stuff, um, you know, the thekids really make me feel needed
in that space.

SPEAKER_05 (01:14:47):
Yeah, that's what I mean that's what we do it for.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:50):
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (01:14:50):
Right.
That's what we do it for.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:52):
That's that's exactly what we do it for.
I mean, I ain't doing it for noteacher of the year.
I ain't I'm not doing it forteacher of the month.
You know, none of that stuff,man.
I do it so that when I come toschool, I see my kids, coach
here, you know, in the hallwayand they want to come and talk,
and I have to tell them go toclass.

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:10):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:11):
That's what I do it for.
So um, well, we're gonna get outof here.

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:16):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:16):
Um I was thinking when are we gonna when are we
gonna so-called stop our ep ourseason?

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:24):
Maybe maybe Christmas break.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:26):
Yeah.
But I still say even I thinkeven then I want to put several
in the tank.
You know?

SPEAKER_05 (01:15:32):
Yeah.
And then maybe we'll do uh thisweek was pretty tough to get
things done.

SPEAKER_02 (01:15:37):
But we did it.
Consistency is the key, theysay, to this.
We are gonna be able to do it.
It's gotta be consistent.

SPEAKER_05 (01:15:41):
But everybody takes a break, but I mean, I I
personally feel like um, as weare like, it's kind of like a
new business, right?
Like uh you kind of put your allinto it until you get to where
you want it to be.
And so uh so I'm okay with it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:00):
Like just can't go on until it's like pushing, and
it was like, okay, you got it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:06):
You got it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:07):
You riding that bike.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:08):
I got it, thank you.
Yeah, so yeah, we still gottraining wheels.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:11):
So we'll keep the training wheels on.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:12):
Yeah, I was gonna say we still got training wheels
on.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:14):
Yeah, we'll keep the training braws on.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:16):
Training brows on the ball.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:17):
Keep the training balls on so them puppets can
stand up by themselves.
All right, y'all.
Uh well, thank you for listeningto the Refreshingly Normal
podcast.
I am Kifla.
I am Lucretia.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:33):
And we will see you when we see you.
Adios, amigos.
Peace.
Ariva Derchi.

SPEAKER_02 (01:16:38):
That's right.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:39):
We respect all cultures.
Peace.
What's for dinner at oak?

SPEAKER_00 (01:17:02):
The Refreshingly Normal Podcast.

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