Born with a rare genetic eye condition that left him without vision in his left eye, Mark Rivera spent much of his life learning how to navigate a world that often made him feel different. But his greatest challenges were still ahead.
After losing both his stepfather and mother within just 30 days, Mark found himself drowning in grief while facing a life-threatening health crisis of his own. At over 325 pounds and suffering from severe sleep apnea, doctors warned him that if he didn't make drastic changes, he might not survive another six months.
In this powerful episode of The Resilience Files: Unlocked, Mark shares how he transformed unimaginable loss into purpose, lost over 175 pounds, reclaimed his health, and created a mission dedicated to helping others find hope in their darkest moments.
This is a conversation about resilience, identity, grief, healing, and discovering that your greatest struggles do not have to define your future.
Because sometimes the strongest vision comes from looking within
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
When you feel like life has dealt you a hand of
unfair cards, instead of voting,you double down and you're stuck
in the game.
You faced battles, you feltbroken.
But hey, do us a favor.
Put your hand on your heart.
You feel that?
You're still here.
Welcome to the Resilience FilesUnlock.
(00:23):
Where survival meetstransformation.
Welcome to the Resilience StylesUnlocked, where survival meets
transformation.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernan'sAspirus Stunt Woman, and this
space was created for honestconversations about survival,
reinvention, healing, and thequiet strength it takes to keep
(00:43):
going when life doesn't alwayslook like the way you imagined
it.
Now, we're not therapists.
We don't have a degree for this,but we do have our own lived
experiences.
I survived a lot.
We could talk about that later,but we have a special guest for
us today.
And I'm so excited to introducethis lovely person.
Our special guest is someonewho's learned resilience before
(01:04):
he had language for it, bornwith a rare genetic eye
condition, shaped by earlyresponsibility, profound loss,
and life-altering health crisis.
Mark Riviera's story is notabout fixing yourself, but it's
about staying soft in a hardworld and becoming the person
you once needed.
This conversation is aboutseeing beyond sight, surviving
(01:25):
unimaginable loss, and choosingpurpose anyway.
As we do it here on theResilience Files podcast, I'm
going to go ahead and readMark's essay.
To fully understand my story, Imust start from the beginning.
As far back as I can remember,I've suffered from a rare
genetic eye condition calledCoates disease, which has an
array of symptoms.
In my case, however, the retinais detached from the left eye,
(01:48):
which makes it seem like the eyeisn't even there.
Unlike blindness, where it'scomplete darkness, I have no
darkness, no signal, noanything.
It's as if the left eye isn'teven there.
Growing up, this made navigatingand seeing extremely difficult,
as all the emphasis went intoprotecting my right eye.
I had countless doctor visits,tons of eye drops, and
(02:09):
procedures, but it all came withthe same result.
Unfortunately, I would live lifelike this for the rest of my
life.
I constantly would bump intothings and it made my life
incredibly difficult.
On top of that, my left eye wasfloating and uncontrollable.
This made things even moredifficult because it made me
feel like I wasn't complete andoften felt like I wouldn't be
enough.
I vowed, however, that this wasnot going to be the story that
(02:33):
dictates nor allow anyone toperceive me as such.
So I worked tirelessly inheightening my other senses, my
hearing, my ability to feelwithin prop my proximity,
ability to envision thingshappening before they occur, my
sense of smell and touch.
I also trained myself to learnhow to avoid bumping into things
and always keeping my head onthe swivel.
(02:54):
It has helped me tremendously.
I became very resilient despitemy condition and vowed to never
let my impairment harden me inan already cruel cold world.
My biological father wasn't inthe picture, and from his side,
I'm the oldest of three.
The problem was that he got mymom pregnant with me and then
got his girlfriend at the timepregnant right around the same
(03:16):
time.
And because of that, I have ahalf-brother who is only a
couple weeks younger than me.
When my mom found out, sheimmediately stopped seeing him
and took me to live with mygrandma.
As I grew older, I alsodeveloped a natural being of
being a provider, caregiver,protector, and having a heart of
gold, which I take pride in.
Since the young age of sevenyears old, I've been raising
kids.
I'm the oldest of five on mymom's side.
(03:39):
And since then, I often wouldtake care of and help raise my
younger siblings.
By that age, I already knew howto cook, clean, and handle every
household chore.
As I got older, however, Ibecame a teenage rebel.
I was mad at the world and oftenbutted heads with my mother.
We were practically the sameperson.
She was intense, relentless,unmatched work ethic, and the
refusal to give up, especiallywhen things became became
(04:02):
unimaginably difficult.
At this time, she started seeingmy stepdad, who was
kind-hearted, soft-spoken soul,but was also a second-degree
black belt martial arts expert,Shotokan Karate.
He trained me as a kid and oftenhe would speak and gained so
much knowledge and insights fromhim.
My mom, while with my stepdad,forged my heart.
In 2020, a tragedy would strikeme and began a series of
(04:25):
traumatic experiences.
Growing up, I always struggledwith my weight.
And by this time, I hadballooned up to a massive 325
pounds.
It was very hard for me becauseno matter how long I slept, I
would always wake up tired andexhausted.
Driving, I would doze off, and Idon't know how many close calls
I had.
Climbing one flight of stairs, Iwould be out of breath, and
(04:46):
dozing and being out of breathwould also happen when I had
conversations with people too.
I knew something was wrong.
During the height of COVID,Thanksgiving week, my stepdad
passed away due to cancer, andit shattered me in the worst
way.
During that, driving my dozingoff got worse, more than a few
close calls.
And that's when I knew I had toget checked.
But a month later, my mom getshospitalized and a few weeks
(05:09):
later passed away this Miss Weekfrom COVID pneumonia.
It wrecked me completely andhaven't been and I haven't been
the same since.
I lost both of my parents in aspan of 30 days.
And this day it still has me intears.
A few months have gone by and Ifinally got checked and decided
to do a sleep study.
I did the take-home test and afew days later I got the
results.
I have a severe I have a severeblockage, sleep apnea.
(05:32):
My organs were beginning tofail, and my C O T levels were
in the 50s, which means Iessentially stopped breathing
multiple times as I slept.
What wasn't in the report wasthat they told me because of my
severity of the results, if Ididn't change and take my diet
seriously, then I wouldn't livepast six months.
If I ever needed a wake-up call,that was it.
(05:52):
And for two years, I gave myselfpermission to be selfish.
I started doing DDPY program,which is dynamic resistance
yoga.
In the span of three years, Iwent from 325 pounds to 150
pounds.
I did another sleep study sinceI hated the CPAP machine and
didn't qualify for the twostraight years in a row.
I now have a perfect bill ofhealth.
(06:14):
That's when I decided that Ineeded to tell my story for the
past 14 months.
I've been posting motivationaland inspirational videos, hoping
that my message gets across andhopes that it will help people.
My story can be one thing thatpulls you away from the edge and
out of the darkness.
Then everything I speak of isworth it.
I'm also an actor and a personallife coach because if this
(06:35):
broken kid from Brooklyn, NewYork can claw from the ashes and
rise from rock bottom, then youcan too.
I won't try to fix you becauseyou can't fix people, but I will
sit with you.
Hold your hand and let you leanon my shoulder and let you just
let it all out and remind youthat things will get better and
that the times, the bad times,don't last forever.
(06:55):
Be who you need to be.
Be who you needed when you wereyounger.
And when you get there, neverforget the ones still walking
through that fire.
You survived.
Thank you.
Mark Riviera.
Wow, Mark.
Yeah.
Woo! What an episode.
First off, um, I just want tojust ask you how are you doing?
SPEAKER_02 (07:13):
I'm doing really well.
You know, I typically do myannual physicals about June,
July, and for two years in arow, perfect bill of health.
You know, and when I went thefirst time to get checked with
this new pediatrician uhpediatrician, look at me, with
this new uh primary carephysician, she told me you need
to get a handle on it.
You know, so I heard it from allover the place, you know, and
(07:36):
and and as I said, I alwaysstruggled with the weight, but
it just I was always up, I wasalways down.
I could never keep it steady,you know.
And so once I found thisprogram, I knew this was it
because he's helped so manyothers before.
You know, he actually took amilitary vet, a paratrooper.
It's when they jump off theairplanes and parachute.
(07:57):
That landing impact, it crushedhis spine, his knees.
He essentially needed thosebraces, he needed the crutches.
Doctors told him he would neverwalk on his own power again.
He went and did this program,and this guy is running now.
He is doing handstands, he'sdoing splits.
I said, Yeah, I want to do that.
(08:18):
So, you know, and it's funnybecause DDP, he used to be a
former professional wrestler.
You know, his his ring name wasDiamond Dallas Page.
And so during his career, heblew out his back too.
And his wife at the timesuggested, hey, why don't you
try yoga?
Of course, being your typicalmacho man, I'm not gonna do
yoga, but the pain justprogressively got worse.
(08:40):
So he was like, hey, what do Igot to lose?
So he tried it, and sure enough,he started doing it, but he also
started incorporating his own,you know, maneuvers in there,
you know, kind of like making ityour own.
And that's what he emphasizes.
Even if it's tough, you know,use a chair, use a table,
because you're gonna be in allthese different uncomfortable
positions.
But the one thing that hestresses more than anything
(09:02):
else, just make sure that youbreathe.
Because you need to control yourbreath.
Because once you're able tocontrol your breathing,
especially in an uncomfortableposition, you're you're you're
in the in the shape of your lifeat that point, you know.
And so he actually went backinto the ring and won some
championships.
You know, he's retired nowbecause I think he's like in his
(09:23):
60s.
Yeah, but this is all he doesnow.
This is his platform, this ishis business, and he's helped
thousands of people, even otherwrestlers, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (09:32):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (09:32):
Yes, and I swear by that program, and it's been it
is is essentially it has savedmy life.
SPEAKER_00 (09:40):
Wow.
Yeah, that's that's amazing.
I want to know and tell everyonethe name of the city.
SPEAKER_02 (09:44):
It's called DDPY, and you can find it ddpy.com.
When he first started theplatform, he started with the
discs.
Now they have an app.
You know, I got his yoga matbecause of course you get the
cheap ones from Amazon, they'regonna last what?
Maybe a couple months, you know.
And and I'm and I'm all I'mdoing all different kinds of
poses and maneuvers.
(10:05):
One thing that I really tookpride in was able to do the
safety zone.
That's like getting in the fetalposition upright.
My head can touch the mat and Ican stretch all the way out.
Yeah, it's it's insane.
Yeah, yeah.
I I never, never in my umwildest dreams would I ever, you
know, think I'd be able to dosomething like that.
(10:25):
I love that very and then when Itook all the weight off and I
saw abs, I'm like, oh no.
Um hello?
Well, um who are you, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (10:36):
Yeah, yeah.
My biological father, like thatside of the family, they're all
big guys.
You know, I would be considereda small guy compared to them.
You know, I'll I'll be realtiny.
It's like, yeah, I'm six feettall, but I'm also 150 pounds.
So it's like I'm kind of like ahybrid.
You know, if I curl myself up onthe bull, I'm like real tiny.
It's like I'm like, okay, Iprefer it this way.
(10:57):
You know, I used to wear I usedto wear five X shirts, my waist
44.
What?
Absolutely not.
I this is a medium shirt.
My waist, 32.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
That's impressive.
Yeah, three years it's like I'mso proud of you.
I wanna give right I want tostart from your beginning right
quick and just like talkingabout the invisible struggles.
Think starting when you were ayoung boy, you described that
your left eye as having darknessand no signal, as if it wasn't
even there.
How did you learn to explain toyourself that reality going on?
SPEAKER_02 (11:34):
Here's the crazy part.
No one knows how it happened,you know.
And so at two years old, that'swhen my mom and my grandmother
started seeing like the eyefloating.
And so that's when I gotchecked, you know, and that's
when they, you know, had theresult where that that's it's
detached.
He's never gonna be able to see.
I mean, we're talking in the 80snow.
(11:55):
You know, I was born in 81, sothe technology back then,
especially in the medical field,you know, was subpart at best,
you know.
And I lived in New York at thetime, so I was always in
Manhattan going to, I think itwas called New York Eye, Ear and
Throat, you know, and and I usedto always visit New York
hospital itself, you know.
So I was always in and out, inand out.
(12:17):
And because of that, I even hadthe same pair of glasses that
Steve Urkel had, those biggoggles, you know.
So yeah, and I think at onepoint I think she had actually
got me the lace for it andeverything.
I'm like, oh, geez, you're justmaking this worse for me, aren't
you?
You know, so but it was again,it was all to protect the right
(12:37):
side.
And I get it, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
Absolutely.
And talking about that, like,what did it feel like navigating
the world knowing thateverything depended on
protecting the right out?
SPEAKER_02 (12:45):
At that point, I had to really start training myself
like maneuvering and keeping myhead on the swivel.
It's like even driving, I'm verycautious when it comes to
driving.
I'm constantly looking over myshoulder.
I mean, my SUV is a 24, so Iget, you know, all the bells and
whistles with the cameras andall that, but I'm I'm an old
school driver, you know.
I've been driving over 30 years.
(13:06):
You know what I mean?
Come on.
You know, so I need to havethat.
Get my rear view and I'm fine,you know.
But it was a struggle, you know.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'mnot perfect when it comes to my
navigation because I will stillbump into things, but it's not,
you know, nowhere near as bad ashow I was before, you know.
And it it would have to besomething that I didn't see, or
I just, you know,misinterpreted.
(13:28):
And because at one point I thinkI even hit myself on the roof of
my car, you know, getting in.
You know, again, I'm a tall guy.
But, you know, and even gettingout.
There have been times where Ithink I hit myself getting in,
like right below the steeringwheel, you know, just like that
mechanism under there, and it'ssolid.
And I'm like, really?
Yeah, you know, that's whythat's why I cannot drive sedans
(13:51):
because I feel like I'm just waytoo low to the ground.
You know, I need the SUVs, youknow, I need the comfort, I need
the space.
You know, plus again, you know,it has the nice camera system
and whatnot, and I get my seatwarmers, so that's good too,
especially with that ice stormwe just had.
SPEAKER_01 (14:06):
You know, I know, right?
SPEAKER_02 (14:08):
It was bad.
Yeah, it got really bad here.
I I got it was suffering fromcabin fever because I was in
home from Friday to likeWednesday.
I hate being home.
I'm I'm an outdoors, outdoorsykind of person.
You know, I'm always out andabout, you know.
I hate sitting down, I'm alwayson my feet, especially with all
the weight I lost, all thatpent-up energy.
(14:30):
I'm constantly on the go.
Right.
You know, my Fitbit.
I I set my steps for 15k.
I crushed that by lunchtime, youknow.
And I also put it to where italso has streaks.
So like every hour you have tohit 250 steps.
Kidding me?
That's nothing.
So I I I challenge myself.
I set it for 7 a.m.
and I finish it by 8.
(14:50):
So they they still count the 7a.m.
and then 8 p.m.
So essentially it's 14 hours,you know.
And yeah, and that's how I juststay, you know, doing my thing.
I work out pretty much everyday.
I give myself the weekends torelax.
But again, if I'm at home notdoing anything, once my house
chores are done, oh, I gotta dosomething.
So I'll go out for a walk, I'llgo out for a drive, something.
(15:12):
I just hate being home, youknow.
SPEAKER_00 (15:15):
I feel you, I understand that.
I wanna um just get back to acouple questions around your
eyes because I felt like shapingthat early identity for you and
how you grew into the personthat you are.
How did that, how did youracquisition shape how you saw
yourself, you know, not justphysically, but emotionally.
And you know, you were so young,so you went to school maybe
(15:35):
during that time or were you?
SPEAKER_02 (15:37):
No, I actually went to public school, and that's
what made it worse too, becauseyou know, yeah, you have your
friends or whatnot, but if theygot too close and they started
seeing how your eyes are likenot functioning the way it's
supposed to, you know, kids canbe cruel.
But even as soft as I am, I'mnot gonna allow bullying.
Absolutely not.
You know, that was one thing mymom made sure, you know, because
(15:59):
she didn't meet she didn't meetmy stepdad until I was a
teenager.
So right around that rebel timeframe, you know, was when he
came into the picture.
And that's where I reallystarted toning it down, you
know.
But up until then, I didn'tknow.
She was like, don't start it,but you better make sure you
finish it.
You know, no, I that's one thingI I cannot, I despise bullying
(16:20):
in any way, shape, or form, youknow.
So just because you see how I'mthis good, kind-hearted person,
don't think that I can't flipthat ghetto switch in a second.
Absolutely not, you know.
So, but as I got older, youknow, again, it was again
protect the eye, protect theeye, protect the eye, you know.
And when I was seven years old,she had my younger brother from
(16:42):
there.
That's when I started with thewhole caregiver, you know,
phase.
SPEAKER_01 (16:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (16:46):
At this point, we have so many kids and cousins
and all that, and I pretty muchtook care of all of them, you
know.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:54):
Wow.
So you were living with your ownlimitations of your limitations
with only having one eye, andthen you also became a caregiver
at the young age of seven yearsold, and that since like let's
talk about that a little bitmore.
Um, because you talk about youwere I'm just trying to imagine
(17:14):
this.
You're caregiving at seven yearsold, you only have one eye,
you're training your othersenses, you're hearing your
intuition, your awareness.
Almost like your body went intoproblem-solving mode because
your mom also had kids and youwere the oldest.
So, I mean, when did that shiftfrom something you had to do to
something you realized like thisis just like you realize it was
(17:35):
a strength that you had in notonly the other senses that you
had, but also in being again,oldest of five, right?
SPEAKER_02 (17:42):
So it started with my younger brother, and then
anytime I went out, he wasalways with me.
I remember one time, remember,cell phones wasn't a thing back
then.
You know, you had pay phones,but my mom, both my parents,
they were EMTs, you know.
And so they were always out inthe field.
And I remember I used to alwayspick him up from school, which
was only a few blocks away.
And then I would just bring himback home.
(18:04):
One day it was snowing reallybad.
And it was on a Friday.
I didn't really want to go home.
So I was I told them, I'm like,hey, we're gonna hang out with
my friends for a little bit.
You know, we're gonna go to thevideo game store, just hang out,
and then we'll go home.
We got home and it again, it'sbad at this point.
Like it's really starting tocome down.
I don't think I got home to likeabout five or six.
Oh boy, did I hear it when I gothome.
But I'm like, hey, he was withme.
(18:25):
You know, I'm not gonna leavehim alone.
Right.
You know, we were both likefrozen at this point, you know.
She got over it, obviously, youknow, but it's little things
like that, you know, I stilltake pride in, you know, because
I look at it this way you'rehaving these kids.
I really don't have a sociallife, you know, but it did get
tedious as I was starting to getolder and wanted to hang out
(18:47):
more, you know, because mystepdad, he worked overnights
and she worked during the day.
But during the day, he slept.
So you're not home.
He's sleeping now.
At certain points, it was kindof forced on me.
SPEAKER_00 (18:59):
Did you not like that?
And did you ever confront hersaying, like, this isn't my
responsibility?
SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
We've butted heads countless times because of it.
We I'm telling you, we'veliterally at each other's
throats a lot of the times.
We were the same person.
It was like two alphas justgoing at it all the time.
You know, it got so bad, itcirculated around the entire
family.
Or like my aunts, mygrandmother, my grandmother, she
is super protective, protectiveof me because I was always with
(19:26):
her.
Essentially, she practicallyraised me, you know, and so then
my aunts, same thing.
You know, these are your kids.
Why you making him watch yourkids?
You know, and that's where a lotof our animosity came into play.
You know, but again, I know sheloves me in her own way, but the
fact that she was so intense, sorelentless, her work ethic
(19:50):
matches my work ethic now, whereI do IT.
I've been doing it 25 years.
I mean, there's pretty muchnothing you can say or tell me
that I won't pretty much know,you know.
And so because I do everythingfrom hardware support to
networking.
I've even dove into the AI and Ialso do software development.
So, you know, I have I'm verywell-rounded when it comes to
(20:12):
that, you know.
And so I know that is somethingI can never really forego
because technology is the waveof the future, you know, and
they're always gonna need somekind of IT support in one way,
shape, or form, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
And so when Yeah, but you didn't feel like it was
your responsibility to take careof your siblings.
And I think that that's a likeconstant question that a lot of
people ask is that especiallywhen a parent has more than one
kid, but you you know, your momhad five, and your
responsibility is to grow as achild.
You had one eye that you neededto understand your other senses
(20:47):
and abilities and also be ableto navigate the world and to put
that extra stress on you is alot.
I agree.
SPEAKER_02 (20:53):
It is, it is, you know, and it was not fair.
SPEAKER_00 (20:56):
And did she ever get a babysitter or a caregiver or
somebody else that allowed youkind of to have your moment to
yourself, or that's when you'regonna I pretty much just stayed,
you know, because at this pointI just bit the bullet, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (21:09):
Because I looked, I I looked at it this way.
Those kids were always aroundme, you know.
Whereas my brother got older, hestarted doing his own thing.
Then came my sister, and thenthe two little ones.
Now, here's a funny story.
The two youngest ones, I gotthem now.
They're with me now.
I have two kids of my own.
My oldest, she'll be 18 in May,and my youngest just turned a
(21:32):
teenager last year, so he'll be14 in April.
SPEAKER_00 (21:35):
Oh, and you also have your younger sibling.
SPEAKER_02 (21:37):
So the older one, so the older one, he's 24, and the
younger one just turned 21 rightaround Christmas.
You know.
SPEAKER_00 (21:46):
So You're a super brother.
I love it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:49):
You know, and they know that I pretty much
practically raised them the waymy grandmother pretty much
raised me, because I was alwaysback and forth, you know.
I mean, I I would spend schoolnights with my grandmother.
She would always say, Me toschool.
We were just a few blocks apart,you know, so it really wasn't a
big thing.
It's not like we had to goacross town or something like
that.
You know, New York, you can walkanywhere, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (22:09):
Right.
So true.
SPEAKER_02 (22:11):
Really, it wasn't a big thing.
The public's the elementary, themiddle school, and the high
school were all blocks withineach other.
So it really didn't matter.
And so the way she took care ofme is kind of like what I'm
doing with the boys now.
You know, the same thing with mykids.
So essentially, yeah, I got fourkids.
So and that's and you ask them,and they'll tell you, no, he's
(22:33):
my dad.
Even though their biologicalfather is my stepdad, the one
that passed, you know.
So from my sister on, those arehis kids.
She right now, she's in Florida.
You know.
And my younger brotherunderneath me, he's still in New
York, you know.
So all this of five on thatside.
But yeah, I and at this point, Ireally can't see myself doing
(22:54):
anything else.
I can't leave them bythemselves.
Because just like my youngest,they're special needs.
That's what makes it worse.
So imagine that.
I have a teenager and twoadults, special needs.
SPEAKER_01 (23:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (23:06):
Age-wise, age-wise, they're adults mentally wise,
they they're all the same age.
They're all the same age.
You know, they it's all abouthaving that kid-like, playful
mentality.
You know, so so in a nutshell,that's how they process their
thinking.
You know, it's ADAD, ADD, andstuff of that nature, you know,
and especially when the parents,when our parents passed, it
(23:27):
paralyzed us.
You know.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:30):
I'm so sorry to hear that.
And I do have a question forpeople that are listening today.
I think a lot of people may evenknow or they they may have done
this themselves because I thinkthat it was such a way that back
in the 80s and 90s, the kids didtake care of the kids.
That was just a way of life inthe 70s and being what do you
(23:51):
think being a young caretaker atthat age does not have to be a
good idea?
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
It does a few things.
You know, it's like it kind offorces you to grow up faster.
Essentially, I didn't have achildhood.
I didn't.
You know, because it was alwaysabout protecting and giving and
maintaining the house.
Because again, once he had asleep, mom was at work.
So essentially, I took care ofthe house.
You know, I did the cooking, Idid the cleaning, I maintained
(24:16):
all that.
SPEAKER_00 (24:18):
I'm so sorry.
Person is knocking.
Give me one one second.
Keep going, please.
SPEAKER_02 (24:24):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
You know, and so when you putyourself in that kind of a
position or when it's forced onyou, you know, it's it's not
easy.
It's definitely not.
You know, and when I look back,I often think, well, maybe she
could have worked with me alittle better and whatnot.
But it was always to the pointwhere, you know, well, you're
(24:45):
here, so you have to do it.
He needs his rest.
And I get that.
I'm I'm compassionate aboutthat.
I get that, you know, they'reworking, they're maintaining,
you know, the house with thebills and whatnot.
Because here's the thing, billsare never gonna take a day off,
you know.
But I would just wish I had moreof an option, more more freedom,
you know, because even as I gotolder, it got progressively
(25:07):
worse.
Even as an adult, still livingwith them.
I'm working at this pointmyself.
But again, I had no free time.
And so when you keep goingthrough things like that,
essentially it just staysingrained with in you, you know.
And so I had I had my oldestwhen I was only 25, you know,
and and my and my youngest isonly four years younger than
(25:28):
her.
So before the age of 30, Ialready had two of my kids, you
know.
So it's like never really hadthat chance to venture out and
live alone and be by myself fora bit.
You know, I've always beenaround family and kids, you
know.
So Yeah, so I don't even thinkI've slept eight hours since I
was a kid.
SPEAKER_00 (25:49):
It's not like even then you were very busy.
But um well, let's get into umyou had a lot of trauma and
grief, you know, throughout thistime and like even the sense of
how you now are taking care ofyour younger siblings as well as
your two children yourself.
Losing your stepfather and yourmother within 30 days.
I want to acknowledge to you howdevastating that is to have my
(26:12):
prayers.
How did your body respond tothat when your heart couldn't
process what's happening andyou're also taking care of your
own siblings at the time?
SPEAKER_02 (26:19):
At this point, I had relocated down to Texas.
Now, this was I relocated downhere back in 2016.
So he passed 2020.
They both did, right in theheight of COVID, right?
But he fought.
Like when I moved down here,that's when my mom told me that
he was first diagnosed, youknow, and so that made it hard.
(26:40):
I'm like, ooh.
So every chance I get, I wouldtext him, give him a call, you
know.
And that's pretty much how I gotmy softness, you know, my
interest, and also honing medown to really speak properly.
You know, my mom did too, butshe again, she was like really
intense.
He was really soft-spoken.
(27:00):
He read a lot, he did a lot ofwriting.
And I took that, you know,because I do that myself.
I'm constantly, my head isconstantly in a book, you know,
I'm constantly studying,constantly, you know, trying to
improve, you know, because withme, the power of positivity,
that's where it's at.
You know, you got to change thatmindset, you know.
So, and that's where it allstarted for me.
(27:21):
You know, and so speaking withhim, you know, I would give him
a call.
And we had this running jokewhere every time I had a
birthday, he would say, Happybirthday, old man.
And then when it was his, Iwould flip it.
I'll be like, Happy birthday,young man.
You know, that was kind of likeour little inside joke, you
know.
And so, but the lastconversation I had with him, two
hours, you know, and and I wantto say it was the summer before
(27:45):
he passed.
SPEAKER_00 (27:47):
Oh wow.
SPEAKER_02 (27:48):
And so during that time, I was overweight, you
know, and so I drove from Dallasto Atlanta and then went south
because his town is a real smalltown in Georgia, you know, so it
was about 11, 12 hours or so.
But I I drove straight through.
That was the first time I sawanybody since relocating, you
(28:10):
know.
By this time, my siblings, it,you know, shot up like weeds.
You know, I'm like, okay, whoare you?
Because again, when I left, theywere they were little dudes, you
know.
So now it's like, oh good God,now the youngest, that boy's
like a dang tree.
I'm like, all right, dude, youneed to stop.
You know, and and I justcouldn't believe it.
SPEAKER_00 (28:35):
You were driving back and forth, you were falling
asleep on the road you mentionedwhile you were driving because
you were you you were 300 plusdowns, you said.
And the doctors also told youaround that time that you're not
gonna make it past six months tolive.
That's the moment that changeseverything.
Absolutely.
What went through your mind whenyou first heard that.
SPEAKER_02 (28:55):
Let me segue into my mom real quick because so what
ended up happening was myyounger brother, the one who's
just below me, he's abodybuilder.
And during that time, Floridawas a hot spot.
He had gone to a competition,everyone got together, you know,
and that's what pretty much goteveryone sick, you know.
Now, my mom didn't tell nobodythis, but she had pneumonia
(29:17):
earlier that year.
And you just don't get overthat, you know.
Now, with COVID pneumonia,essentially, that just turns
your lungs into cement.
You know, they had to do someprocedures to try to alleviate
the pressure.
You know, couple times shecoded, and but she was sedated.
That's saying that that so 30days after, that's what
happened.
But driving back and forth fromGeorgia to to Dallas, you know,
(29:39):
and but the last conversationshe told me, whatever you do,
take that weight off.
Whatever you do.
Driving back home to Dallas, itwas even worse.
I said, there's no way.
I did something's gotta give.
So that's when I went for thesleep study.
I'm telling you, they send theysent me so much equipment.
I essentially look like IronMan.
I had the the vice here, had thenose deal, had the the findex,
(30:01):
you know, had everything.
And I'm just laying in bed,like, okay, how am I supposed to
get any sleep like this?
SPEAKER_00 (30:08):
You know, I think I know it's a rap they didn't have
me at the hospital.
SPEAKER_02 (30:12):
No, no, I mean I I had the option, but I'm like,
I'd rather just be combcomfortable, you know, and I
just want to make sure I get itdone.
So I did that.
I took it back to the clinic,you know, because even my
testosterone levels were reallybad.
You know, I wasn't producingenough testosterone either, you
know.
So I was pretty much gettinghits everywhere.
And so I took it back, and Ithink a few days later they
(30:34):
called me back in for theresults.
And that it's and it's a wholeform.
It's bad, it's really bad, youknow.
But that what they told me aboutabout the six months wasn't on
the report.
SPEAKER_01 (30:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (30:47):
They didn't want that on there.
They was like, no, no, no.
This needs to be a privateconversation.
And I'm glad they did that.
SPEAKER_00 (30:53):
And once you react, I'm happy they did that too,
because once you heard thatprivate conversation, you said
you gave yourself permission tobe selfish.
I love that language.
Yes, yes.
Because especially you have tobe selfish about your health,
your mental health, yourphysical health, yes, your
health in general.
So, what does selfish actuallylook like to you?
SPEAKER_02 (31:11):
What I essentially did was I tuned out the noise.
I said, okay, since I'm alwaysgiving and giving and giving and
pouring myself into this personand that person, I said, you
know what?
For this, I gotta put myselffirst.
And that's what I did.
So I changed up my dietcompletely.
I went from eating carbs andproteins and this and that to
(31:34):
just protein and veggies.
If I did have carbs, which wasvery minimal, it was the
complex.
Yes.
The complex carbs, like thewhole grain, you know, and stuff
of that nature.
So, but it was veggies withevery meal, you know.
And then I also changed up mysleep habits.
I used to go to bed super late.
Now, I think 10 o'clock is mylatest cutoff.
(31:54):
But because of it, I have allthis energy and I'm up by like
two.
So I really only sleep fourhours, you know, and but I can
function and I'm on my feet allday long.
And I know I need more, butagain, I when have I ever slept
eight hours?
You know, I just don't, youknow.
And so for two years, I threwthe mat down and I just did what
I had to do.
At first, let me tell you, Icursed, I screamed, I cried.
(32:18):
It was hard.
Because I again I had to usetables for maneuvering, my
balance was all over the place.
You know, you know how manytimes I wanted to give up.
But that was one that's onething about me.
No matter how hard it is, I willnever give up, ever.
And so for two years, that's allI kept doing.
That's all I kept doing, youknow.
And so I came up with a niceroutine, work out during the
(32:40):
week, hang out and chill for theweekends, you know, let my body
recover and then just go.
And again, I got a bunch of DVDsand it goes by levels, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (32:48):
And so Yeah, so you were doing DDPY and movement and
like yoga and it and at the timeyou were doing that and nothing
else because that's what pushedyou.
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Yeah, because I used to work for Renner Center and I
had a get on workers' comp, butthis was back in New York, so
essentially my back is allscrewed up, you know.
And but because of this, I wasable, and he says it in the DVD,
he kind of like changed thehands of time, kind of like kill
that that rust or that scartissue.
And because of it, I didn't liftnot one pound.
(33:20):
All I do is the yoga andresistance bands.
That's it.
I don't touch not one band.
No, I mean, don't get me wrong,I can, you know, hump the weight
now and and do this and do that.
Because I used to work forFedEx.
Like, kidding me, I was all overthe place with that, you know.
So I'm not afraid of manuallabor.
That's all I used to do.
Yeah, you know, but I gotta takecare of myself.
You know, I'm 44 now.
SPEAKER_00 (33:42):
What's surprised you so I'm really proud of you 44
and all of the work that you putin for yourself, and I want to
know like what surprised youmost in becoming you in that
process, going from 300 pluspounds to I think you said
around 150, right?
SPEAKER_02 (33:59):
So 175 pounds.
SPEAKER_00 (34:02):
Yes.
Do you feel like during thatprocess did you change?
SPEAKER_02 (34:07):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (34:08):
Do you think mentally and physically like you
you feel different when you walkaround?
SPEAKER_02 (34:11):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Because here's the thing growingup, I was such an introvert.
You think we be doing this backthen?
Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_01 (34:20):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (34:20):
You know.
SPEAKER_01 (34:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (34:22):
I had a really I I think right breaking out of my
teenage years and into likeyoung adolescent adulthood, like
my twenties, but I really feellike I destroyed all of that
when I dropped my way toobecause that also built my
confidence level, you know.
And what really shattered all ofthat was 14 months ago when I
(34:45):
started on this journey, youknow, making my videos, you
know, speaking to people, youknow, letting them know that you
know what, giving up is never anoption.
You have other options here, youknow.
And that's why I tell them,look, you're not alone.
You're definitely not alone.
If you don't feel comfortablespeaking to anybody else, come
find me.
Come find me.
SPEAKER_00 (35:03):
I love how you redefine strength.
I think that's what it lookedlike to me.
And one of the things you saidas you were talking with other
people is that you don't try tofix them, you sit with them.
And I think that's verypowerful.
Where did you learn that kind oftrend?
Was it you being the big brotherto five?
Is that you now nursing youryounger siblings while caring
for your kids, or where wheredid that be?
SPEAKER_02 (35:23):
I think it was just a culmination of everything.
And when I got started on thisjourney, I'm like, wait a
minute.
I'm speaking and I'm telling mystory.
So, and I've always said this tomyself too.
Even if it just motivates,inspires, and pulls at least
just one person from teeteringover the edge, then all of this
has been worth it.
See, I I don't do this forstatus or clout or any of that
(35:45):
nonsense.
I do it for impact.
That's what my brand is allabout.
That's what the voice within isall about.
The voice within, in a nutshell,is just a mere extension of
myself.
That's all it is, you know.
So I love that.
But with me, what you what yousee is what you get.
Bottom line.
SPEAKER_00 (36:00):
Yeah, you really started tuning in to focus.
I I think that's so beautiful.
And you know, at some point inyour story, you decided your
story wasn't yours anymore andthat you needed to share it with
others.
You said you don't do this forfame, you do it to save that one
person.
And I want to know, like, whatis that voice within, what does
that really mean to you?
(36:21):
You mentioned that.
So I went and and I guess uh tofollow up with that question
too, is like when someone is onthe edge, what do you hope that
your voice means to them?
SPEAKER_02 (36:30):
With me when I started doing, like I didn't
even have a name for this thing.
I just said, you know what, letme just go take a leap of faith.
And just like the way SteveHarvey said, you know, you gotta
take that leap of faith, youknow, because especially if
you're tired of being stuck,being mediocre, you know, I feel
like, and I agree with him inthis point where everyone has a
(36:51):
gift from the day they're born.
It's up to you to figure outwhat it is, right?
So again, I I've been in IT 25years.
I thought that was my passion,but once I started diving into
this, I can't wait to leave myjob now.
I can't wait for this to bewhere I can just wake up and
focus on helping people.
SPEAKER_00 (37:09):
I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
And so when I started doing this, I'm like,
okay, something's shifting,something's changing.
Because even the way I speak,even how I carry myself, all of
that started shifting, all ofthat started elevating.
I am not the same person I was14 months ago.
Absolutely not.
Because you can see my firstvideo and you can see me now,
it's like night and day.
(37:31):
You know, I've had coworkers andeven other people.
And let me tell you, I was stillheavy when I was at my current
job now.
And when they saw how much Ilost, they could not believe it.
They're like, what did you do?
So I'm telling them, hey, it'snot rocket science, guys.
Your workout is only 20% of whatyou do for your nutrition.
80% is what you put into yourbody.
(37:52):
That and your portions.
That's it.
That's it.
You know?
You just gotta be, you just haveto maintain it.
You have to pace yourself.
You you gotta just control yourportions.
And then also the time you eattoo.
I don't like to eat past sixo'clock.
I really don't.
You know, I don't, I'm not abreakfast person, but if you
take away my coffee, I'mscorching this planet.
(38:12):
You know, I'm not no.
That's my guilty pleasure.
I cannot go without my coffee,especially because I'm up so
early, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (38:20):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (38:21):
But that's where I started noticing the differences
in how I carry myself, how Ispeak, how how I talk, how I
have whole conversations.
You know, and one of myco-works, workers, actually he
sent me a text message and Iactually put it on my social
media platform, I think it wasInstagram, how I essentially
changed his life.
Like he would come up during thelunch break and we would just
(38:44):
speak, right?
And he wrote this long letter,you know, basically showing how
I improved his life, how he'sbeen taking my example and you
know, doing it for himself.
Him and his wife, they lost somuch weight, you know, like they
feel fantastic now.
They're coming up with their ownrecipes, you know, because you
know, TikTok, you you DIY, youknow, you can make whatever.
(39:05):
You know, and so they've beendoing things like that, just
trying to, you know, createtheir own recipes, like their
own seasonings and whatnot,because you know half the
seasonings here, just riddledwith salt anyway.
You know, so eliminate thesodium, eliminate the sugar, you
know, and just go ahead and justkeep it healthy, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (39:22):
I love that as we wrap up, uh, I always ask people
about resilience.
And if you could speak to theversion of you who felt broken
and exhausted, I'm glad youbring that up.
SPEAKER_02 (39:32):
Because I always reflect back to that little boy,
you know, who always felt likehe was nothing more than a
provider, you know, always feltinvisible.
SPEAKER_01 (39:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (39:42):
Especially with my impairment.
To me, every time I looked inthe mirror, I always felt like
something was wrong with me.
Like I was, I wasn't complete.
And my biggest fear, especiallygrowing up and why I remained an
introvert, I didn't want toburden anyone.
I didn't want to feel like Ispeak to you, yeah, we can be
friends and whatnot, but it'sonly surface level.
(40:02):
That's as far as it goes.
You know, I don't want I didn'twant to have that kind of
relationship where I'm only goodfor what I can do for you and
not have the re thereciprocation.
If I can go back and speak tothat little boy, I'll let him
know the truth.
You know, things are gonna notalways gonna be easy.
It's gonna be hard.
We're gonna lose people.
(40:23):
People are gonna betray you.
But here's the thing if youdon't give up, I promise you
it's gonna be worth it.
Because I'm just getting startedwith what I'm doing now.
Fourteen months, I've gotten somuch momentum going.
It's almost like, okay, what ishappening?
I made a personal promise tomyself that 26 was going to be
my year.
SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
It will be.
SPEAKER_02 (40:45):
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Because I'm all aboutmanifesting too.
I'm all about the positivemindset, Bob Proctor, you know,
Napoleon Hill.
Those are my mentors.
And I got I got their books.
And again, I'm constantlystudying, constantly writing.
Every morning I write in myjournal for an hour.
Easy.
You know, and and I just keep onwith it.
I keep on improving.
Here's the thing (41:05):
you never want to be the smartest person in the
room because you will nevergrow.
But me, I'm gonna be the most,I'm gonna be the hardest person,
the hardest working person inthe room.
Because I promise you, you'renot gonna outwork me.
I try I dare anyone to get on myschedule and see how long you
last.
I've been doing this four-hourtidbit since I started this
journey.
And that was 14 months ago.
(41:25):
So if you feel you can stay upall day long on your feet and
sleep only four hours and stillbe okay the next morning, then
you got my respect.
And then me and you need totalk.
But if you can't take becausehere's the thing, take a back
seat.
Because by the time you'rewaking up, my work is already
gonna be done.
And now I'm just focusing onsomething else.
SPEAKER_00 (41:44):
Yeah, I love it.
Wow.
Um, that was you're amazing, myguy.
And also, look, you let us needfive hours.
We're not gonna hurt you, evenif you get in eight every now
and then.
But I just want to say thank youso much, though, for your
honesty, your heart, yourwillingness to just let people
in to share your story about notonly just the strength, but also
(42:07):
the softness, too.
I think like it's verydefinitely a reminder that
resilience isn't about having itall together.
It's about choosing to keepgoing, choosing to carry,
choosing to become the personyou once needed.
And also, despite when obstaclescome in the way, or even when
the story decides to throw insomething unexpected with two
deaths and 30 days of yourparents, you know.
(42:29):
I just want to say thank you somuch.
Um I am know that everybodylistening today is gonna
resonate with you in some way oranother.
And uh everybody that'slistening, I want you to know
that you're not alone and thatyour story matters and your
feeling matters too.
Yes.
And you're worthy of the lifethat you're fighting for.
So if Mark hasn't inspired you,you better keep listening and go
check out his Instagram.
(42:49):
He's putting out inspirationalvideos every day.
So, Mark, um, tell us how can westay in contact with you?
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (42:55):
So um my Instagram handle is my, you know, my more,
you know, popular one that I'malways on more than anything
else.
You know, so check out officialMark A.
Rivera, you know, and thatthat'll be on Instagram.
And, you know, I'm obviously I'mon Facebook, I'm on YouTube,
because that's where I home runall of the videos.
I'll just post my reels.
But if you want the full length,I have it on there too.
(43:17):
Everything is on my profile, youknow.
Every one of my handles, everytime you go to this page or that
page, you're gonna seeeverything.
So you're gonna get, you know,you're gonna go back and forth,
you're gonna see everything.
You know, so I have them all,and you can reach me anytime.
And this is why I tell people ifyou feel like you have no other
option and there's nowhere foryou to really turn to because
you don't feel comfortable oryou're just not sure, come find
(43:40):
me.
Let me have one conversationwith you.
And I promise you, you'll thinktwice about it.
You'll sleep better and you'llfeel a little lighter.
Because if I can pull myselffrom out of all of that and
still keep going, because hell,I'm not I'm not healed neither.
I'm a misfit just like everyoneelse.
And so if I can continue to pushand and continue to strive to
(44:02):
achieve and reach for my goals,so can you.
But I get it, you know, becauseit's the noise.
You just want to silence thenoise.
I get it.
But again, giving up is neverthe answer.
SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
You heard Mark.
Giving up is never the answer.
This is the resilience filesunlocked where survival meets
transformation.
Thank you so much, Mark.
SPEAKER_01 (44:21):
Thank you for having me.
When you feel like life has dealt you a hand of
unfair cards, instead of voting,you double down and you're stuck
in the game.
You faced battles, you feltbroken.
But hey, do us a favor.
Put your hand on your heart.
You feel that?
You're still here.
Welcome to the Resilience FilesUnlock.
(00:23):
Where survival meetstransformation.
Welcome to the Resilience StylesUnlocked, where survival meets
transformation.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernan'sAspirus Stunt Woman, and this
space was created for honestconversations about survival,
reinvention, healing, and thequiet strength it takes to keep
(00:43):
going when life doesn't alwayslook like the way you imagined
it.
Now, we're not therapists.
We don't have a degree for this,but we do have our own lived
experiences.
I survived a lot.
We could talk about that later,but we have a special guest for
us today.
And I'm so excited to introducethis lovely person.
Our special guest is someonewho's learned resilience before
(01:04):
he had language for it, bornwith a rare genetic eye
condition, shaped by earlyresponsibility, profound loss,
and life-altering health crisis.
Mark Riviera's story is notabout fixing yourself, but it's
about staying soft in a hardworld and becoming the person
you once needed.
This conversation is aboutseeing beyond sight, surviving
(01:25):
unimaginable loss, and choosingpurpose anyway.
As we do it here on theResilience Files podcast, I'm
going to go ahead and readMark's essay.
To fully understand my story, Imust start from the beginning.
As far back as I can remember,I've suffered from a rare
genetic eye condition calledCoates disease, which has an
array of symptoms.
In my case, however, the retinais detached from the left eye,
(01:48):
which makes it seem like the eyeisn't even there.
Unlike blindness, where it'scomplete darkness, I have no
darkness, no signal, noanything.
It's as if the left eye isn'teven there.
Growing up, this made navigatingand seeing extremely difficult,
as all the emphasis went intoprotecting my right eye.
I had countless doctor visits,tons of eye drops, and
(02:09):
procedures, but it all came withthe same result.
Unfortunately, I would live lifelike this for the rest of my
life.
I constantly would bump intothings and it made my life
incredibly difficult.
On top of that, my left eye wasfloating and uncontrollable.
This made things even moredifficult because it made me
feel like I wasn't complete andoften felt like I wouldn't be
enough.
I vowed, however, that this wasnot going to be the story that
(02:33):
dictates nor allow anyone toperceive me as such.
So I worked tirelessly inheightening my other senses, my
hearing, my ability to feelwithin prop my proximity,
ability to envision thingshappening before they occur, my
sense of smell and touch.
I also trained myself to learnhow to avoid bumping into things
and always keeping my head onthe swivel.
(02:54):
It has helped me tremendously.
I became very resilient despitemy condition and vowed to never
let my impairment harden me inan already cruel cold world.
My biological father wasn't inthe picture, and from his side,
I'm the oldest of three.
The problem was that he got mymom pregnant with me and then
got his girlfriend at the timepregnant right around the same
(03:16):
time.
And because of that, I have ahalf-brother who is only a
couple weeks younger than me.
When my mom found out, sheimmediately stopped seeing him
and took me to live with mygrandma.
As I grew older, I alsodeveloped a natural being of
being a provider, caregiver,protector, and having a heart of
gold, which I take pride in.
Since the young age of sevenyears old, I've been raising
kids.
I'm the oldest of five on mymom's side.
(03:39):
And since then, I often wouldtake care of and help raise my
younger siblings.
By that age, I already knew howto cook, clean, and handle every
household chore.
As I got older, however, Ibecame a teenage rebel.
I was mad at the world and oftenbutted heads with my mother.
We were practically the sameperson.
She was intense, relentless,unmatched work ethic, and the
refusal to give up, especiallywhen things became became
(04:02):
unimaginably difficult.
At this time, she started seeingmy stepdad, who was
kind-hearted, soft-spoken soul,but was also a second-degree
black belt martial arts expert,Shotokan Karate.
He trained me as a kid and oftenhe would speak and gained so
much knowledge and insights fromhim.
My mom, while with my stepdad,forged my heart.
In 2020, a tragedy would strikeme and began a series of
(04:25):
traumatic experiences.
Growing up, I always struggledwith my weight.
And by this time, I hadballooned up to a massive 325
pounds.
It was very hard for me becauseno matter how long I slept, I
would always wake up tired andexhausted.
Driving, I would doze off, and Idon't know how many close calls
I had.
Climbing one flight of stairs, Iwould be out of breath, and
(04:46):
dozing and being out of breathwould also happen when I had
conversations with people too.
I knew something was wrong.
During the height of COVID,Thanksgiving week, my stepdad
passed away due to cancer, andit shattered me in the worst
way.
During that, driving my dozingoff got worse, more than a few
close calls.
And that's when I knew I had toget checked.
But a month later, my mom getshospitalized and a few weeks
(05:09):
later passed away this Miss Weekfrom COVID pneumonia.
It wrecked me completely andhaven't been and I haven't been
the same since.
I lost both of my parents in aspan of 30 days.
And this day it still has me intears.
A few months have gone by and Ifinally got checked and decided
to do a sleep study.
I did the take-home test and afew days later I got the
results.
I have a severe I have a severeblockage, sleep apnea.
(05:32):
My organs were beginning tofail, and my C O T levels were
in the 50s, which means Iessentially stopped breathing
multiple times as I slept.
What wasn't in the report wasthat they told me because of my
severity of the results, if Ididn't change and take my diet
seriously, then I wouldn't livepast six months.
If I ever needed a wake-up call,that was it.
(05:52):
And for two years, I gave myselfpermission to be selfish.
I started doing DDPY program,which is dynamic resistance
yoga.
In the span of three years, Iwent from 325 pounds to 150
pounds.
I did another sleep study sinceI hated the CPAP machine and
didn't qualify for the twostraight years in a row.
I now have a perfect bill ofhealth.
(06:14):
That's when I decided that Ineeded to tell my story for the
past 14 months.
I've been posting motivationaland inspirational videos, hoping
that my message gets across andhopes that it will help people.
My story can be one thing thatpulls you away from the edge and
out of the darkness.
Then everything I speak of isworth it.
I'm also an actor and a personallife coach because if this
(06:35):
broken kid from Brooklyn, NewYork can claw from the ashes and
rise from rock bottom, then youcan too.
I won't try to fix you becauseyou can't fix people, but I will
sit with you.
Hold your hand and let you leanon my shoulder and let you just
let it all out and remind youthat things will get better and
that the times, the bad times,don't last forever.
(06:55):
Be who you need to be.
Be who you needed when you wereyounger.
And when you get there, neverforget the ones still walking
through that fire.
You survived.
Thank you.
Mark Riviera.
Wow, Mark.
Yeah.
Woo! What an episode.
First off, um, I just want tojust ask you how are you doing?
SPEAKER_02 (07:13):
I'm doing really well.
You know, I typically do myannual physicals about June,
July, and for two years in arow, perfect bill of health.
You know, and when I went thefirst time to get checked with
this new pediatrician uhpediatrician, look at me, with
this new uh primary carephysician, she told me you need
to get a handle on it.
You know, so I heard it from allover the place, you know, and
(07:36):
and and as I said, I alwaysstruggled with the weight, but
it just I was always up, I wasalways down.
I could never keep it steady,you know.
And so once I found thisprogram, I knew this was it
because he's helped so manyothers before.
You know, he actually took amilitary vet, a paratrooper.
It's when they jump off theairplanes and parachute.
(07:57):
That landing impact, it crushedhis spine, his knees.
He essentially needed thosebraces, he needed the crutches.
Doctors told him he would neverwalk on his own power again.
He went and did this program,and this guy is running now.
He is doing handstands, he'sdoing splits.
I said, Yeah, I want to do that.
(08:18):
So, you know, and it's funnybecause DDP, he used to be a
former professional wrestler.
You know, his his ring name wasDiamond Dallas Page.
And so during his career, heblew out his back too.
And his wife at the timesuggested, hey, why don't you
try yoga?
Of course, being your typicalmacho man, I'm not gonna do
yoga, but the pain justprogressively got worse.
(08:40):
So he was like, hey, what do Igot to lose?
So he tried it, and sure enough,he started doing it, but he also
started incorporating his own,you know, maneuvers in there,
you know, kind of like making ityour own.
And that's what he emphasizes.
Even if it's tough, you know,use a chair, use a table,
because you're gonna be in allthese different uncomfortable
positions.
But the one thing that hestresses more than anything
(09:02):
else, just make sure that youbreathe.
Because you need to control yourbreath.
Because once you're able tocontrol your breathing,
especially in an uncomfortableposition, you're you're you're
in the in the shape of your lifeat that point, you know.
And so he actually went backinto the ring and won some
championships.
You know, he's retired nowbecause I think he's like in his
(09:23):
60s.
Yeah, but this is all he doesnow.
This is his platform, this ishis business, and he's helped
thousands of people, even otherwrestlers, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (09:32):
Wow.
SPEAKER_02 (09:32):
Yes, and I swear by that program, and it's been it
is is essentially it has savedmy life.
SPEAKER_00 (09:40):
Wow.
Yeah, that's that's amazing.
I want to know and tell everyonethe name of the city.
SPEAKER_02 (09:44):
It's called DDPY, and you can find it ddpy.com.
When he first started theplatform, he started with the
discs.
Now they have an app.
You know, I got his yoga matbecause of course you get the
cheap ones from Amazon, they'regonna last what?
Maybe a couple months, you know.
And and I'm and I'm all I'mdoing all different kinds of
poses and maneuvers.
(10:05):
One thing that I really tookpride in was able to do the
safety zone.
That's like getting in the fetalposition upright.
My head can touch the mat and Ican stretch all the way out.
Yeah, it's it's insane.
Yeah, yeah.
I I never, never in my umwildest dreams would I ever, you
know, think I'd be able to dosomething like that.
(10:25):
I love that very and then when Itook all the weight off and I
saw abs, I'm like, oh no.
Um hello?
Well, um who are you, you know?
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (10:36):
Yeah, yeah.
My biological father, like thatside of the family, they're all
big guys.
You know, I would be considereda small guy compared to them.
You know, I'll I'll be realtiny.
It's like, yeah, I'm six feettall, but I'm also 150 pounds.
So it's like I'm kind of like ahybrid.
You know, if I curl myself up onthe bull, I'm like real tiny.
It's like I'm like, okay, Iprefer it this way.
(10:57):
You know, I used to wear I usedto wear five X shirts, my waist
44.
What?
Absolutely not.
I this is a medium shirt.
My waist, 32.
SPEAKER_00 (11:10):
That's impressive.
Yeah, three years it's like I'mso proud of you.
I wanna give right I want tostart from your beginning right
quick and just like talkingabout the invisible struggles.
Think starting when you were ayoung boy, you described that
your left eye as having darknessand no signal, as if it wasn't
even there.
How did you learn to explain toyourself that reality going on?
SPEAKER_02 (11:34):
Here's the crazy part.
No one knows how it happened,you know.
And so at two years old, that'swhen my mom and my grandmother
started seeing like the eyefloating.
And so that's when I gotchecked, you know, and that's
when they, you know, had theresult where that that's it's
detached.
He's never gonna be able to see.
I mean, we're talking in the 80snow.
(11:55):
You know, I was born in 81, sothe technology back then,
especially in the medical field,you know, was subpart at best,
you know.
And I lived in New York at thetime, so I was always in
Manhattan going to, I think itwas called New York Eye, Ear and
Throat, you know, and and I usedto always visit New York
hospital itself, you know.
So I was always in and out, inand out.
(12:17):
And because of that, I even hadthe same pair of glasses that
Steve Urkel had, those biggoggles, you know.
So yeah, and I think at onepoint I think she had actually
got me the lace for it andeverything.
I'm like, oh, geez, you're justmaking this worse for me, aren't
you?
You know, so but it was again,it was all to protect the right
(12:37):
side.
And I get it, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
Absolutely.
And talking about that, like,what did it feel like navigating
the world knowing thateverything depended on
protecting the right out?
SPEAKER_02 (12:45):
At that point, I had to really start training myself
like maneuvering and keeping myhead on the swivel.
It's like even driving, I'm verycautious when it comes to
driving.
I'm constantly looking over myshoulder.
I mean, my SUV is a 24, so Iget, you know, all the bells and
whistles with the cameras andall that, but I'm I'm an old
school driver, you know.
I've been driving over 30 years.
(13:06):
You know what I mean?
Come on.
You know, so I need to havethat.
Get my rear view and I'm fine,you know.
But it was a struggle, you know.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'mnot perfect when it comes to my
navigation because I will stillbump into things, but it's not,
you know, nowhere near as bad ashow I was before, you know.
And it it would have to besomething that I didn't see, or
I just, you know,misinterpreted.
(13:28):
And because at one point I thinkI even hit myself on the roof of
my car, you know, getting in.
You know, again, I'm a tall guy.
But, you know, and even gettingout.
There have been times where Ithink I hit myself getting in,
like right below the steeringwheel, you know, just like that
mechanism under there, and it'ssolid.
And I'm like, really?
Yeah, you know, that's whythat's why I cannot drive sedans
(13:51):
because I feel like I'm just waytoo low to the ground.
You know, I need the SUVs, youknow, I need the comfort, I need
the space.
You know, plus again, you know,it has the nice camera system
and whatnot, and I get my seatwarmers, so that's good too,
especially with that ice stormwe just had.
SPEAKER_01 (14:06):
You know, I know, right?
SPEAKER_02 (14:08):
It was bad.
Yeah, it got really bad here.
I I got it was suffering fromcabin fever because I was in
home from Friday to likeWednesday.
I hate being home.
I'm I'm an outdoors, outdoorsykind of person.
You know, I'm always out andabout, you know.
I hate sitting down, I'm alwayson my feet, especially with all
the weight I lost, all thatpent-up energy.
(14:30):
I'm constantly on the go.
Right.
You know, my Fitbit.
I I set my steps for 15k.
I crushed that by lunchtime, youknow.
And I also put it to where italso has streaks.
So like every hour you have tohit 250 steps.
Kidding me?
That's nothing.
So I I I challenge myself.
I set it for 7 a.m.
and I finish it by 8.
(14:50):
So they they still count the 7a.m.
and then 8 p.m.
So essentially it's 14 hours,you know.
And yeah, and that's how I juststay, you know, doing my thing.
I work out pretty much everyday.
I give myself the weekends torelax.
But again, if I'm at home notdoing anything, once my house
chores are done, oh, I gotta dosomething.
So I'll go out for a walk, I'llgo out for a drive, something.
(15:12):
I just hate being home, youknow.
SPEAKER_00 (15:15):
I feel you, I understand that.
I wanna um just get back to acouple questions around your
eyes because I felt like shapingthat early identity for you and
how you grew into the personthat you are.
How did that, how did youracquisition shape how you saw
yourself, you know, not justphysically, but emotionally.
And you know, you were so young,so you went to school maybe
(15:35):
during that time or were you?
SPEAKER_02 (15:37):
No, I actually went to public school, and that's
what made it worse too, becauseyou know, yeah, you have your
friends or whatnot, but if theygot too close and they started
seeing how your eyes are likenot functioning the way it's
supposed to, you know, kids canbe cruel.
But even as soft as I am, I'mnot gonna allow bullying.
Absolutely not.
You know, that was one thing mymom made sure, you know, because
(15:59):
she didn't meet she didn't meetmy stepdad until I was a
teenager.
So right around that rebel timeframe, you know, was when he
came into the picture.
And that's where I reallystarted toning it down, you
know.
But up until then, I didn'tknow.
She was like, don't start it,but you better make sure you
finish it.
You know, no, I that's one thingI I cannot, I despise bullying
(16:20):
in any way, shape, or form, youknow.
So just because you see how I'mthis good, kind-hearted person,
don't think that I can't flipthat ghetto switch in a second.
Absolutely not, you know.
So, but as I got older, youknow, again, it was again
protect the eye, protect theeye, protect the eye, you know.
And when I was seven years old,she had my younger brother from
(16:42):
there.
That's when I started with thewhole caregiver, you know,
phase.
SPEAKER_01 (16:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (16:46):
At this point, we have so many kids and cousins
and all that, and I pretty muchtook care of all of them, you
know.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:54):
Wow.
So you were living with your ownlimitations of your limitations
with only having one eye, andthen you also became a caregiver
at the young age of seven yearsold, and that since like let's
talk about that a little bitmore.
Um, because you talk about youwere I'm just trying to imagine
(17:14):
this.
You're caregiving at seven yearsold, you only have one eye,
you're training your othersenses, you're hearing your
intuition, your awareness.
Almost like your body went intoproblem-solving mode because
your mom also had kids and youwere the oldest.
So, I mean, when did that shiftfrom something you had to do to
something you realized like thisis just like you realize it was
(17:35):
a strength that you had in notonly the other senses that you
had, but also in being again,oldest of five, right?
SPEAKER_02 (17:42):
So it started with my younger brother, and then
anytime I went out, he wasalways with me.
I remember one time, remember,cell phones wasn't a thing back
then.
You know, you had pay phones,but my mom, both my parents,
they were EMTs, you know.
And so they were always out inthe field.
And I remember I used to alwayspick him up from school, which
was only a few blocks away.
And then I would just bring himback home.
(18:04):
One day it was snowing reallybad.
And it was on a Friday.
I didn't really want to go home.
So I was I told them, I'm like,hey, we're gonna hang out with
my friends for a little bit.
You know, we're gonna go to thevideo game store, just hang out,
and then we'll go home.
We got home and it again, it'sbad at this point.
Like it's really starting tocome down.
I don't think I got home to likeabout five or six.
Oh boy, did I hear it when I gothome.
But I'm like, hey, he was withme.
(18:25):
You know, I'm not gonna leavehim alone.
Right.
You know, we were both likefrozen at this point, you know.
She got over it, obviously, youknow, but it's little things
like that, you know, I stilltake pride in, you know, because
I look at it this way you'rehaving these kids.
I really don't have a sociallife, you know, but it did get
tedious as I was starting to getolder and wanted to hang out
(18:47):
more, you know, because mystepdad, he worked overnights
and she worked during the day.
But during the day, he slept.
So you're not home.
He's sleeping now.
At certain points, it was kindof forced on me.
SPEAKER_00 (18:59):
Did you not like that?
And did you ever confront hersaying, like, this isn't my
responsibility?
SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
We've butted heads countless times because of it.
We I'm telling you, we'veliterally at each other's
throats a lot of the times.
We were the same person.
It was like two alphas justgoing at it all the time.
You know, it got so bad, itcirculated around the entire
family.
Or like my aunts, mygrandmother, my grandmother, she
is super protective, protectiveof me because I was always with
(19:26):
her.
Essentially, she practicallyraised me, you know, and so then
my aunts, same thing.
You know, these are your kids.
Why you making him watch yourkids?
You know, and that's where a lotof our animosity came into play.
You know, but again, I know sheloves me in her own way, but the
fact that she was so intense, sorelentless, her work ethic
(19:50):
matches my work ethic now, whereI do IT.
I've been doing it 25 years.
I mean, there's pretty muchnothing you can say or tell me
that I won't pretty much know,you know.
And so because I do everythingfrom hardware support to
networking.
I've even dove into the AI and Ialso do software development.
So, you know, I have I'm verywell-rounded when it comes to
(20:12):
that, you know.
And so I know that is somethingI can never really forego
because technology is the waveof the future, you know, and
they're always gonna need somekind of IT support in one way,
shape, or form, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
And so when Yeah, but you didn't feel like it was
your responsibility to take careof your siblings.
And I think that that's a likeconstant question that a lot of
people ask is that especiallywhen a parent has more than one
kid, but you you know, your momhad five, and your
responsibility is to grow as achild.
You had one eye that you neededto understand your other senses
(20:47):
and abilities and also be ableto navigate the world and to put
that extra stress on you is alot.
I agree.
SPEAKER_02 (20:53):
It is, it is, you know, and it was not fair.
SPEAKER_00 (20:56):
And did she ever get a babysitter or a caregiver or
somebody else that allowed youkind of to have your moment to
yourself, or that's when you'regonna I pretty much just stayed,
you know, because at this pointI just bit the bullet, you know.
SPEAKER_02 (21:09):
Because I looked, I I looked at it this way.
Those kids were always aroundme, you know.
Whereas my brother got older, hestarted doing his own thing.
Then came my sister, and thenthe two little ones.
Now, here's a funny story.
The two youngest ones, I gotthem now.
They're with me now.
I have two kids of my own.
My oldest, she'll be 18 in May,and my youngest just turned a
(21:32):
teenager last year, so he'll be14 in April.
SPEAKER_00 (21:35):
Oh, and you also have your younger sibling.
SPEAKER_02 (21:37):
So the older one, so the older one, he's 24, and the
younger one just turned 21 rightaround Christmas.
You know.
SPEAKER_00 (21:46):
So You're a super brother.
I love it.
SPEAKER_02 (21:49):
You know, and they know that I pretty much
practically raised them the waymy grandmother pretty much
raised me, because I was alwaysback and forth, you know.
I mean, I I would spend schoolnights with my grandmother.
She would always say, Me toschool.
We were just a few blocks apart,you know, so it really wasn't a
big thing.
It's not like we had to goacross town or something like
that.
You know, New York, you can walkanywhere, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (22:09):
Right.
So true.
SPEAKER_02 (22:11):
Really, it wasn't a big thing.
The public's the elementary, themiddle school, and the high
school were all blocks withineach other.
So it really didn't matter.
And so the way she took care ofme is kind of like what I'm
doing with the boys now.
You know, the same thing with mykids.
So essentially, yeah, I got fourkids.
So and that's and you ask them,and they'll tell you, no, he's
(22:33):
my dad.
Even though their biologicalfather is my stepdad, the one
that passed, you know.
So from my sister on, those arehis kids.
She right now, she's in Florida.
You know.
And my younger brotherunderneath me, he's still in New
York, you know.
So all this of five on thatside.
But yeah, I and at this point, Ireally can't see myself doing
(22:54):
anything else.
I can't leave them bythemselves.
Because just like my youngest,they're special needs.
That's what makes it worse.
So imagine that.
I have a teenager and twoadults, special needs.
SPEAKER_01 (23:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (23:06):
Age-wise, age-wise, they're adults mentally wise,
they they're all the same age.
They're all the same age.
You know, they it's all abouthaving that kid-like, playful
mentality.
You know, so so in a nutshell,that's how they process their
thinking.
You know, it's ADAD, ADD, andstuff of that nature, you know,
and especially when the parents,when our parents passed, it
(23:27):
paralyzed us.
You know.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:30):
I'm so sorry to hear that.
And I do have a question forpeople that are listening today.
I think a lot of people may evenknow or they they may have done
this themselves because I thinkthat it was such a way that back
in the 80s and 90s, the kids didtake care of the kids.
That was just a way of life inthe 70s and being what do you
(23:51):
think being a young caretaker atthat age does not have to be a
good idea?
SPEAKER_02 (23:54):
It does a few things.
You know, it's like it kind offorces you to grow up faster.
Essentially, I didn't have achildhood.
I didn't.
You know, because it was alwaysabout protecting and giving and
maintaining the house.
Because again, once he had asleep, mom was at work.
So essentially, I took care ofthe house.
You know, I did the cooking, Idid the cleaning, I maintained
(24:16):
all that.
SPEAKER_00 (24:18):
I'm so sorry.
Person is knocking.
Give me one one second.
Keep going, please.
SPEAKER_02 (24:24):
Yeah, no, absolutely.
You know, and so when you putyourself in that kind of a
position or when it's forced onyou, you know, it's it's not
easy.
It's definitely not.
You know, and when I look back,I often think, well, maybe she
could have worked with me alittle better and whatnot.
But it was always to the pointwhere, you know, well, you're
(24:45):
here, so you have to do it.
He needs his rest.
And I get that.
I'm I'm compassionate aboutthat.
I get that, you know, they'reworking, they're maintaining,
you know, the house with thebills and whatnot.
Because here's the thing, billsare never gonna take a day off,
you know.
But I would just wish I had moreof an option, more more freedom,
you know, because even as I gotolder, it got progressively
(25:07):
worse.
Even as an adult, still livingwith them.
I'm working at this pointmyself.
But again, I had no free time.
And so when you keep goingthrough things like that,
essentially it just staysingrained with in you, you know.
And so I had I had my oldestwhen I was only 25, you know,
and and my and my youngest isonly four years younger than
(25:28):
her.
So before the age of 30, Ialready had two of my kids, you
know.
So it's like never really hadthat chance to venture out and
live alone and be by myself fora bit.
You know, I've always beenaround family and kids, you
know.
So Yeah, so I don't even thinkI've slept eight hours since I
was a kid.
SPEAKER_00 (25:49):
It's not like even then you were very busy.
But um well, let's get into umyou had a lot of trauma and
grief, you know, throughout thistime and like even the sense of
how you now are taking care ofyour younger siblings as well as
your two children yourself.
Losing your stepfather and yourmother within 30 days.
I want to acknowledge to you howdevastating that is to have my
(26:12):
prayers.
How did your body respond tothat when your heart couldn't
process what's happening andyou're also taking care of your
own siblings at the time?
SPEAKER_02 (26:19):
At this point, I had relocated down to Texas.
Now, this was I relocated downhere back in 2016.
So he passed 2020.
They both did, right in theheight of COVID, right?
But he fought.
Like when I moved down here,that's when my mom told me that
he was first diagnosed, youknow, and so that made it hard.
(26:40):
I'm like, ooh.
So every chance I get, I wouldtext him, give him a call, you
know.
And that's pretty much how I gotmy softness, you know, my
interest, and also honing medown to really speak properly.
You know, my mom did too, butshe again, she was like really
intense.
He was really soft-spoken.
(27:00):
He read a lot, he did a lot ofwriting.
And I took that, you know,because I do that myself.
I'm constantly, my head isconstantly in a book, you know,
I'm constantly studying,constantly, you know, trying to
improve, you know, because withme, the power of positivity,
that's where it's at.
You know, you got to change thatmindset, you know.
So, and that's where it allstarted for me.
(27:21):
You know, and so speaking withhim, you know, I would give him
a call.
And we had this running jokewhere every time I had a
birthday, he would say, Happybirthday, old man.
And then when it was his, Iwould flip it.
I'll be like, Happy birthday,young man.
You know, that was kind of likeour little inside joke, you
know.
And so, but the lastconversation I had with him, two
hours, you know, and and I wantto say it was the summer before
(27:45):
he passed.
SPEAKER_00 (27:47):
Oh wow.
SPEAKER_02 (27:48):
And so during that time, I was overweight, you
know, and so I drove from Dallasto Atlanta and then went south
because his town is a real smalltown in Georgia, you know, so it
was about 11, 12 hours or so.
But I I drove straight through.
That was the first time I sawanybody since relocating, you
(28:10):
know.
By this time, my siblings, it,you know, shot up like weeds.
You know, I'm like, okay, whoare you?
Because again, when I left, theywere they were little dudes, you
know.
So now it's like, oh good God,now the youngest, that boy's
like a dang tree.
I'm like, all right, dude, youneed to stop.
You know, and and I justcouldn't believe it.
SPEAKER_00 (28:35):
You were driving back and forth, you were falling
asleep on the road you mentionedwhile you were driving because
you were you you were 300 plusdowns, you said.
And the doctors also told youaround that time that you're not
gonna make it past six months tolive.
That's the moment that changeseverything.
Absolutely.
What went through your mind whenyou first heard that.
SPEAKER_02 (28:55):
Let me segue into my mom real quick because so what
ended up happening was myyounger brother, the one who's
just below me, he's abodybuilder.
And during that time, Floridawas a hot spot.
He had gone to a competition,everyone got together, you know,
and that's what pretty much goteveryone sick, you know.
Now, my mom didn't tell nobodythis, but she had pneumonia
(29:17):
earlier that year.
And you just don't get overthat, you know.
Now, with COVID pneumonia,essentially, that just turns
your lungs into cement.
You know, they had to do someprocedures to try to alleviate
the pressure.
You know, couple times shecoded, and but she was sedated.
That's saying that that so 30days after, that's what
happened.
But driving back and forth fromGeorgia to to Dallas, you know,
(29:39):
and but the last conversationshe told me, whatever you do,
take that weight off.
Whatever you do.
Driving back home to Dallas, itwas even worse.
I said, there's no way.
I did something's gotta give.
So that's when I went for thesleep study.
I'm telling you, they send theysent me so much equipment.
I essentially look like IronMan.
I had the the vice here, had thenose deal, had the the findex,
(30:01):
you know, had everything.
And I'm just laying in bed,like, okay, how am I supposed to
get any sleep like this?
SPEAKER_00 (30:08):
You know, I think I know it's a rap they didn't have
me at the hospital.
SPEAKER_02 (30:12):
No, no, I mean I I had the option, but I'm like,
I'd rather just be combcomfortable, you know, and I
just want to make sure I get itdone.
So I did that.
I took it back to the clinic,you know, because even my
testosterone levels were reallybad.
You know, I wasn't producingenough testosterone either, you
know.
So I was pretty much gettinghits everywhere.
And so I took it back, and Ithink a few days later they
(30:34):
called me back in for theresults.
And that it's and it's a wholeform.
It's bad, it's really bad, youknow.
But that what they told me aboutabout the six months wasn't on
the report.
SPEAKER_01 (30:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (30:47):
They didn't want that on there.
They was like, no, no, no.
This needs to be a privateconversation.
And I'm glad they did that.
SPEAKER_00 (30:53):
And once you react, I'm happy they did that too,
because once you heard thatprivate conversation, you said
you gave yourself permission tobe selfish.
I love that language.
Yes, yes.
Because especially you have tobe selfish about your health,
your mental health, yourphysical health, yes, your
health in general.
So, what does selfish actuallylook like to you?
SPEAKER_02 (31:11):
What I essentially did was I tuned out the noise.
I said, okay, since I'm alwaysgiving and giving and giving and
pouring myself into this personand that person, I said, you
know what?
For this, I gotta put myselffirst.
And that's what I did.
So I changed up my dietcompletely.
I went from eating carbs andproteins and this and that to
(31:34):
just protein and veggies.
If I did have carbs, which wasvery minimal, it was the
complex.
Yes.
The complex carbs, like thewhole grain, you know, and stuff
of that nature.
So, but it was veggies withevery meal, you know.
And then I also changed up mysleep habits.
I used to go to bed super late.
Now, I think 10 o'clock is mylatest cutoff.
(31:54):
But because of it, I have allthis energy and I'm up by like
two.
So I really only sleep fourhours, you know, and but I can
function and I'm on my feet allday long.
And I know I need more, butagain, I when have I ever slept
eight hours?
You know, I just don't, youknow.
And so for two years, I threwthe mat down and I just did what
I had to do.
At first, let me tell you, Icursed, I screamed, I cried.
(32:18):
It was hard.
Because I again I had to usetables for maneuvering, my
balance was all over the place.
You know, you know how manytimes I wanted to give up.
But that was one that's onething about me.
No matter how hard it is, I willnever give up, ever.
And so for two years, that's allI kept doing.
That's all I kept doing, youknow.
And so I came up with a niceroutine, work out during the
(32:40):
week, hang out and chill for theweekends, you know, let my body
recover and then just go.
And again, I got a bunch of DVDsand it goes by levels, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (32:48):
And so Yeah, so you were doing DDPY and movement and
like yoga and it and at the timeyou were doing that and nothing
else because that's what pushedyou.
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Yeah, because I used to work for Renner Center and I
had a get on workers' comp, butthis was back in New York, so
essentially my back is allscrewed up, you know.
And but because of this, I wasable, and he says it in the DVD,
he kind of like changed thehands of time, kind of like kill
that that rust or that scartissue.
And because of it, I didn't liftnot one pound.
(33:20):
All I do is the yoga andresistance bands.
That's it.
I don't touch not one band.
No, I mean, don't get me wrong,I can, you know, hump the weight
now and and do this and do that.
Because I used to work forFedEx.
Like, kidding me, I was all overthe place with that, you know.
So I'm not afraid of manuallabor.
That's all I used to do.
Yeah, you know, but I gotta takecare of myself.
You know, I'm 44 now.
SPEAKER_00 (33:42):
What's surprised you so I'm really proud of you 44
and all of the work that you putin for yourself, and I want to
know like what surprised youmost in becoming you in that
process, going from 300 pluspounds to I think you said
around 150, right?
SPEAKER_02 (33:59):
So 175 pounds.
SPEAKER_00 (34:02):
Yes.
Do you feel like during thatprocess did you change?
SPEAKER_02 (34:07):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00 (34:08):
Do you think mentally and physically like you
you feel different when you walkaround?
SPEAKER_02 (34:11):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Because here's the thing growingup, I was such an introvert.
You think we be doing this backthen?
Absolutely not.
SPEAKER_01 (34:20):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (34:20):
You know.
SPEAKER_01 (34:22):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (34:22):
I had a really I I think right breaking out of my
teenage years and into likeyoung adolescent adulthood, like
my twenties, but I really feellike I destroyed all of that
when I dropped my way toobecause that also built my
confidence level, you know.
And what really shattered all ofthat was 14 months ago when I
(34:45):
started on this journey, youknow, making my videos, you
know, speaking to people, youknow, letting them know that you
know what, giving up is never anoption.
You have other options here, youknow.
And that's why I tell them,look, you're not alone.
You're definitely not alone.
If you don't feel comfortablespeaking to anybody else, come
find me.
Come find me.
SPEAKER_00 (35:03):
I love how you redefine strength.
I think that's what it lookedlike to me.
And one of the things you saidas you were talking with other
people is that you don't try tofix them, you sit with them.
And I think that's verypowerful.
Where did you learn that kind oftrend?
Was it you being the big brotherto five?
Is that you now nursing youryounger siblings while caring
for your kids, or where wheredid that be?
SPEAKER_02 (35:23):
I think it was just a culmination of everything.
And when I got started on thisjourney, I'm like, wait a
minute.
I'm speaking and I'm telling mystory.
So, and I've always said this tomyself too.
Even if it just motivates,inspires, and pulls at least
just one person from teeteringover the edge, then all of this
has been worth it.
See, I I don't do this forstatus or clout or any of that
(35:45):
nonsense.
I do it for impact.
That's what my brand is allabout.
That's what the voice within isall about.
The voice within, in a nutshell,is just a mere extension of
myself.
That's all it is, you know.
So I love that.
But with me, what you what yousee is what you get.
Bottom line.
SPEAKER_00 (36:00):
Yeah, you really started tuning in to focus.
I I think that's so beautiful.
And you know, at some point inyour story, you decided your
story wasn't yours anymore andthat you needed to share it with
others.
You said you don't do this forfame, you do it to save that one
person.
And I want to know, like, whatis that voice within, what does
that really mean to you?
(36:21):
You mentioned that.
So I went and and I guess uh tofollow up with that question
too, is like when someone is onthe edge, what do you hope that
your voice means to them?
SPEAKER_02 (36:30):
With me when I started doing, like I didn't
even have a name for this thing.
I just said, you know what, letme just go take a leap of faith.
And just like the way SteveHarvey said, you know, you gotta
take that leap of faith, youknow, because especially if
you're tired of being stuck,being mediocre, you know, I feel
like, and I agree with him inthis point where everyone has a
(36:51):
gift from the day they're born.
It's up to you to figure outwhat it is, right?
So again, I I've been in IT 25years.
I thought that was my passion,but once I started diving into
this, I can't wait to leave myjob now.
I can't wait for this to bewhere I can just wake up and
focus on helping people.
SPEAKER_00 (37:09):
I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (37:10):
And so when I started doing this, I'm like,
okay, something's shifting,something's changing.
Because even the way I speak,even how I carry myself, all of
that started shifting, all ofthat started elevating.
I am not the same person I was14 months ago.
Absolutely not.
Because you can see my firstvideo and you can see me now,
it's like night and day.
(37:31):
You know, I've had coworkers andeven other people.
And let me tell you, I was stillheavy when I was at my current
job now.
And when they saw how much Ilost, they could not believe it.
They're like, what did you do?
So I'm telling them, hey, it'snot rocket science, guys.
Your workout is only 20% of whatyou do for your nutrition.
80% is what you put into yourbody.
(37:52):
That and your portions.
That's it.
That's it.
You know?
You just gotta be, you just haveto maintain it.
You have to pace yourself.
You you gotta just control yourportions.
And then also the time you eattoo.
I don't like to eat past sixo'clock.
I really don't.
You know, I don't, I'm not abreakfast person, but if you
take away my coffee, I'mscorching this planet.
(38:12):
You know, I'm not no.
That's my guilty pleasure.
I cannot go without my coffee,especially because I'm up so
early, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (38:20):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (38:21):
But that's where I started noticing the differences
in how I carry myself, how Ispeak, how how I talk, how I
have whole conversations.
You know, and one of myco-works, workers, actually he
sent me a text message and Iactually put it on my social
media platform, I think it wasInstagram, how I essentially
changed his life.
Like he would come up during thelunch break and we would just
(38:44):
speak, right?
And he wrote this long letter,you know, basically showing how
I improved his life, how he'sbeen taking my example and you
know, doing it for himself.
Him and his wife, they lost somuch weight, you know, like they
feel fantastic now.
They're coming up with their ownrecipes, you know, because you
know, TikTok, you you DIY, youknow, you can make whatever.
(39:05):
You know, and so they've beendoing things like that, just
trying to, you know, createtheir own recipes, like their
own seasonings and whatnot,because you know half the
seasonings here, just riddledwith salt anyway.
You know, so eliminate thesodium, eliminate the sugar, you
know, and just go ahead and justkeep it healthy, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (39:22):
I love that as we wrap up, uh, I always ask people
about resilience.
And if you could speak to theversion of you who felt broken
and exhausted, I'm glad youbring that up.
SPEAKER_02 (39:32):
Because I always reflect back to that little boy,
you know, who always felt likehe was nothing more than a
provider, you know, always feltinvisible.
SPEAKER_01 (39:42):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (39:42):
Especially with my impairment.
To me, every time I looked inthe mirror, I always felt like
something was wrong with me.
Like I was, I wasn't complete.
And my biggest fear, especiallygrowing up and why I remained an
introvert, I didn't want toburden anyone.
I didn't want to feel like Ispeak to you, yeah, we can be
friends and whatnot, but it'sonly surface level.
(40:02):
That's as far as it goes.
You know, I don't want I didn'twant to have that kind of
relationship where I'm only goodfor what I can do for you and
not have the re thereciprocation.
If I can go back and speak tothat little boy, I'll let him
know the truth.
You know, things are gonna notalways gonna be easy.
It's gonna be hard.
We're gonna lose people.
(40:23):
People are gonna betray you.
But here's the thing if youdon't give up, I promise you
it's gonna be worth it.
Because I'm just getting startedwith what I'm doing now.
Fourteen months, I've gotten somuch momentum going.
It's almost like, okay, what ishappening?
I made a personal promise tomyself that 26 was going to be
my year.
SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
It will be.
SPEAKER_02 (40:45):
Oh, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Because I'm all aboutmanifesting too.
I'm all about the positivemindset, Bob Proctor, you know,
Napoleon Hill.
Those are my mentors.
And I got I got their books.
And again, I'm constantlystudying, constantly writing.
Every morning I write in myjournal for an hour.
Easy.
You know, and and I just keep onwith it.
I keep on improving.
Here's the thing (41:05):
you never want to be the smartest person in the
room because you will nevergrow.
But me, I'm gonna be the most,I'm gonna be the hardest person,
the hardest working person inthe room.
Because I promise you, you'renot gonna outwork me.
I try I dare anyone to get on myschedule and see how long you
last.
I've been doing this four-hourtidbit since I started this
journey.
And that was 14 months ago.
(41:25):
So if you feel you can stay upall day long on your feet and
sleep only four hours and stillbe okay the next morning, then
you got my respect.
And then me and you need totalk.
But if you can't take becausehere's the thing, take a back
seat.
Because by the time you'rewaking up, my work is already
gonna be done.
And now I'm just focusing onsomething else.
SPEAKER_00 (41:44):
Yeah, I love it.
Wow.
Um, that was you're amazing, myguy.
And also, look, you let us needfive hours.
We're not gonna hurt you, evenif you get in eight every now
and then.
But I just want to say thank youso much, though, for your
honesty, your heart, yourwillingness to just let people
in to share your story about notonly just the strength, but also
(42:07):
the softness, too.
I think like it's verydefinitely a reminder that
resilience isn't about having itall together.
It's about choosing to keepgoing, choosing to carry,
choosing to become the personyou once needed.
And also, despite when obstaclescome in the way, or even when
the story decides to throw insomething unexpected with two
deaths and 30 days of yourparents, you know.
(42:29):
I just want to say thank you somuch.
Um I am know that everybodylistening today is gonna
resonate with you in some way oranother.
And uh everybody that'slistening, I want you to know
that you're not alone and thatyour story matters and your
feeling matters too.
Yes.
And you're worthy of the lifethat you're fighting for.
So if Mark hasn't inspired you,you better keep listening and go
check out his Instagram.
(42:49):
He's putting out inspirationalvideos every day.
So, Mark, um, tell us how can westay in contact with you?
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02 (42:55):
So um my Instagram handle is my, you know, my more,
you know, popular one that I'malways on more than anything
else.
You know, so check out officialMark A.
Rivera, you know, and thatthat'll be on Instagram.
And, you know, I'm obviously I'mon Facebook, I'm on YouTube,
because that's where I home runall of the videos.
I'll just post my reels.
But if you want the full length,I have it on there too.
(43:17):
Everything is on my profile, youknow.
Every one of my handles, everytime you go to this page or that
page, you're gonna seeeverything.
So you're gonna get, you know,you're gonna go back and forth,
you're gonna see everything.
You know, so I have them all,and you can reach me anytime.
And this is why I tell people ifyou feel like you have no other
option and there's nowhere foryou to really turn to because
you don't feel comfortable oryou're just not sure, come find
(43:40):
me.
Let me have one conversationwith you.
And I promise you, you'll thinktwice about it.
You'll sleep better and you'llfeel a little lighter.
Because if I can pull myselffrom out of all of that and
still keep going, because hell,I'm not I'm not healed neither.
I'm a misfit just like everyoneelse.
And so if I can continue to pushand and continue to strive to
(44:02):
achieve and reach for my goals,so can you.
But I get it, you know, becauseit's the noise.
You just want to silence thenoise.
I get it.
But again, giving up is neverthe answer.
SPEAKER_00 (44:13):
You heard Mark.
Giving up is never the answer.
This is the resilience filesunlocked where survival meets
transformation.
Thank you so much, Mark.
SPEAKER_01 (44:21):
Thank you for having me.
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