She came out at 35. Left the career she thought she'd have forever. And rebuilt her life from the ground up.
Episode 9 of The Resilience Files with Allie Hunt is a powerful reminder that authenticity is worth the risk.
🎙️ Listen now if you're facing change, searching for purpose, or learning to choose yourself.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Oh my god.
(00:30):
Welcome back to the BrazilianStyles Podcast.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernanz,and we are so excited about our
guest today.
This space exists for honestconversations about survival,
healing, reinvention, andlearning how to live in
alignment with your truth.
This episode includesdiscussions around identity,
(00:50):
coming out, career loss, andmore.
Please take care of yourselfwhile listening.
Today's guest is Ali Hunt.
Ali shares the powerful story ofcoming out at 35, leaving a
career that no longer servesher, and rebuilding a life
rooted in authenticity.
As we do here on the ResilienceFiles podcast, we love to read
(01:12):
our guest essays that aresubmitted to us so we know a
little bit more about them andtheir resilience journey.
So before we get into theinterview, we are going to hear
Allie's essay.
I didn't expect my life to beginagain at 35.
Most people imagine reinventionhappening in their 20s, maybe
(01:33):
after college, maybe after a bigbreakup.
For me, it happened after yearsof doing everything right.
I had built a stable career as ateacher.
I had a routine, a title, ahusband, and a life that looked
respectful from the outside.
But inside, I was carrying atruth that I had been afraid to
(01:54):
live out loud.
At 35, I came out as gay.
That sentence sounds simple now,almost an even tidy.
But at the time, it felt likelighting a match in a room full
of dry leaves.
I knew it would change things.
I just didn't know how much.
I had spent years trying to fitinto expectations that never
(02:16):
truly fit me.
Coming out wasn't aboutrebellion.
It wasn't about politics.
It was about finally choosinghonesty over fear.
It was about waking up every dayand realizing I could no longer
live half a life just to keepother people comfortable.
What I didn't anticipate was howdeeply that honesty would
(02:37):
collide with the environment Iwas in.
I was teaching in Florida, andthe political climate, both in
the government and within theschool system, made it
increasingly clear that therewasn't space for someone like me
to exist authentically withoutconsequence.
It wasn't always loud or direct.
Sometimes it was policies.
(02:58):
Sometimes it was silence.
Sometimes it was the subtlefeeling that parts of me needed
to stay hidden to remainacceptable.
Over time, that pressure becameheavier than the security my
career provided.
Leaving the teaching professionwas not a dramatic decision made
overnight.
(03:19):
It was a slow realization that Iwas shrinking myself to survive.
I loved education.
I loved my students, but I alsoloved my sanity, my integrity,
and eventually my freedom.
Walking away felt like grief andrelief happening at the same
time.
I mourned the life I thought Iwas supposed to have, while also
quietly celebrating the life Imight finally be allowed to
(03:42):
build.
The aftermath was messy.
There were moments of doubt,financial uncertainty, and long
nights wondering if I had made amistake.
Reinventing yourself inadulthood isn't glamorous, is
not a movie montage with upbeatmusic.
It's paperwork, anxiety, andlearning skills you never
expected to need.
(04:02):
It's explaining yourself topeople who don't understand.
It's grieving the version of youthat others preferred.
But somewhere in thatuncertainty, something shifted.
I stopped asking, how do I goback?
And started asking, what do Iwant now?
That question changedeverything.
(04:22):
I moved to Kentucky.
I stepped away from systems thatno longer aligned with who I was
becoming.
I started my own business,something I had never imagined
I'll be brave enough to do.
Building it from the ground uptaught me resilience in a way no
classroom ever could.
Every success felt earned, everystep back taught me
adaptability.
(04:43):
For the first time, mylivelihood was tied directly to
my authenticity instead of myability to conform.
Today, my life looks verydifferent from the one I once
clung to.
I'm not the same person whostood at the crossroads at 35.
I'm stronger, yes.
But more importantly, I'm morehonest.
(05:04):
I understand now that resilienceisn't about never falling apart.
It's about allowing yourself torebuild an alignment with your
truth instead of rebuilding thesame cage with prettier
decorations.
If there's one thing I want alistener to take away from my
story, it's this.
Healing doesn't always look likereturning to what you lost.
(05:26):
Sometimes healing looks likewalking away from what was never
meant for you in the firstplace.
Sometimes it looks like startingover in a new state, a new
career, or a new identity.
And sometimes it simply lookslike waking up and realizing you
no longer apologize for existingas you are.
Coming out didn't ruin my life.
(05:47):
It revealed the parts of my lifethat were never truly mine.
And leaving teaching didn't meanI stopped educating.
It meant I started teachingmyself how to live fully without
negotiation.
My journey wasn't easy and itwasn't quick, but standing on
the other side of it now, I cansay with certainty that choosing
(06:09):
authenticity was the mostresilient act of my life.
My truth didn't end my story.
It finally allowed me to begin.
Wow, Melly, how are you doing?
Powerful essay.
Gosh, how does it feel hearingthe story read back to you?
SPEAKER_02 (06:29):
Um, it we are very different because on the outside
looking in, when it's not you,you're thinking to yourself, oh
my gosh, like how do you gothrough this and and get through
it to the other side, you know,in one piece.
And then I remember if that's mycase.
(06:53):
And I'm like, well, I I have thechoice.
I've been through worse, um, butI I haven't been through
something so tricky and I Iswear I get like a little teary
on thinking about it becausethat was me almost Wow, wow,
thank you for sharing that withus.
SPEAKER_00 (07:14):
I wanna go back to your life before 35, before you
decided to come out, before youdecided like this is a time to
step into who you felt you wtruly were.
Who were you or who were youtrying to be before 35?
SPEAKER_02 (07:30):
Oh, yeah, so um I knew I that society and my
family that I couldn't be thatperson.
Uh where, you know, boys marriedgirls and girls had babies, and
(07:52):
you know, that's just the life Iwas told.
I and I'm like, okay, I'll getmarried.
And I actually married a coupleof different men thinking the
problem was the person I waswith.
I got there was nothing wrongwith those people.
They were and I was trying to bea married teacher.
(08:15):
I was trying to have a I I had ahusband, he rest in peace now.
Um but we had um he accepted mefor who I was.
Like I came out to him before Icame out to anybody else.
And he's like, it's okay.
He said, I serve you.
And I'm like, and you're a greatperson, if you were a chick,
(08:35):
this would be a match we that'sso interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (08:38):
Coming out to your husband before we keep going on,
how I wanna I guess I want toknow what it because I'm sure
people are listening right now,what did your husband say?
And at that moment, did you guysdecide to have like an open
marriage and you did your thingand he did his thing?
SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
Actually, um, we did become polyamorous, and I am
actually currently polyamorous.
SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:01):
And I have I have a staff and uh she has a husband
that she's legally married to,and he doesn't he lives here,
but he doesn't stay here becausehe he's an electrician.
So he he travels for at leastonce a month, he tries to come
home.
We just had him home forValentine's week and I clicked
(09:22):
for the whole family.
Basically, we always joke thatshe married the same person
twice.
SPEAKER_01 (09:27):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:28):
Yeah, he and I are very um, I'm just a five foot
two version of him.
I'm a little pop.
He and we had an earthquakerelationship where we both tried
to court the same like I wouldcourt a female and then if she
was interested in him, then wewould try to um he was very
accepting and you know, with Iwill say that I have heard her
(09:52):
uh women coming out to theirhusbands and the husband trying
to throw your one out and tryingto take it to joke.
And after every a lot ofheterosexual men try to fetish
Yeah.
He went into that.
(10:14):
He was very loving, veryaccepting, and he understood.
He was like, Well, where do westand?
I said, Well, I I love love foryou and I care about you and you
know, you're not an awfulhusband, and you're not an awful
person, you're not runningaround on me, you're not
stealing from me, so I mean wecould try to make this work and
try to have a family out of it,but I I still wasn't me because
(10:38):
I was so being my wife to a man.
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
That yeah, thank you for sharing that.
So when you were saying in youressay that you were trying to do
everything right and makeeverything kind of perfect the
way you said, because you grewup in a Bible belt, and the
making everything perfect wasgoing through one husband and
that didn't work, so then youtried another husband, and then
you opened up the marriage andyou tried to have the family.
(11:05):
Did you all ever have thefamily?
SPEAKER_02 (11:08):
Um, I did not have any children.
Um I ended up having amiscarriage.
I'm sorry.
Um I didn't even know I wasmissing, and so I went to the
doctor and saying, How do wemake this issue stop?
And they asked questions, theyran past, and they were like, So
(11:31):
you were pregnant and no and Iwas like, Oh and he was just
exciting that the that thepossibility was there.
Yeah, and um, I still haven'thad children.
I have a possibility.
That's amazing.
(11:52):
Yeah, so um having my ownpersonals allowed me um have
time for them and have time formy family, and you know, do
interviews with incrediblepeople like you.
SPEAKER_00 (12:04):
That's so sweet of you.
Thank you so much.
And I'm sorry that you all wentthrough that experience.
And um I think it's alsoreaffirming that you know you
have your dogs with you, andthat do you ever see yourself
wanting to have a family again?
SPEAKER_02 (12:20):
Like your dogs.
Yeah, that is something that wehave definitely become.
Um she and I are are bothtrying, we're both trapping and
doing everything wrong.
There's um some things in theair right now, nothing's
(12:41):
confirmed.
Okay.
Yes, but trying, but if we'renot able to confirm either of us
being pregnant yet, then um weare trying to work into
adoption.
But it's really difficult tofind an agency that works with a
(13:03):
non-traditional.
Usually grand grandbad,non-traditional family, they
think, okay, so you're twoRussian.
There's they're the Brown remit,um, you know, he would be a
consistent male like role modelin the house, um, but free
parents.
And that kind of sows peopleYeah.
SPEAKER_00 (13:26):
Yeah, it's untraditional, but I mean, there
is a lot of kids that need toreceive love.
And I think, you know, at theend of the day, it's about the
respect that you show the kids,the love that you're showing the
kids.
And, you know, children need ahome.
I think like adoption is abeautiful thing.
I don't think that that'ssomething to be, I think that's
(13:47):
beautiful that you all areconsidering adoption because I
do feel like there's so manykids around the world that needs
to receive love.
And at the end of the day, ifyou could put a roof over their
heads and you can raise them ina right way so they can grow up
to be, you know, positiveimpacts on society, I don't see
an issue with it personally.
SPEAKER_02 (14:08):
Um and I we planned on homeschooling because I have
that background and yeah, youknow, believe in hands-on
learning and the monitoring.
SPEAKER_00 (14:17):
Yeah.
Oh, that is beautiful.
I want to hear about um themoment.
Was there like a specific momentor a specific thing that
happened to you that caused youto say, and I'm gonna walk in my
truth of deciding like I'm nolonger gonna live this life that
I feel like I'm forced to live?
SPEAKER_02 (14:38):
So there are a several layers.
I wish I had like a neat andtidy answer for you that was
just like cover everything.
Yes, it was this momentspecifically.
That there were different I Icame out to my then husband
because I just I was missing, Iwas missing that certain aspect.
(15:00):
And I'm like, gosh, what iswrong with me?
Why can't I just be happy?
He's such a good guy.
And at least, you know, Ithought I was and um I was like,
you know, there's somethingwrong with him.
And he was like, You're gay.
And I'm like, Do you think I'mgay?
Like, I didn't even come afterhim, he told me.
(15:22):
And he was like, What are youfeeling?
And I said, Well, you know,there's this thing that I kinda
want to try out, and there'sthis thing that I've been having
feelings about.
And then he was like, So findsomeone and try it out and see
what you feel.
And then my first record I had,I'm not I'm not bad, I am
definitely gay.
(15:42):
And I told him that, and he waslike, Okay, and now can we fight
them?
But with him, it was justsomething just hurting.
I'm just like, gosh, my heart,it doesn't feel um like there
was just something missing.
And that that was that momentthere, and then I decided to
(16:03):
come out to my parents.
I'm dressed as so um my daddy'smore conservative and uh I was
terrified.
Um I came out to my favorite Icame out to her before anybody
else in the family.
She was like, Whoa, okay.
I'm like, ma'am, did you hear meclearly, Bethlehem?
(16:25):
And she was like, You writegrass and that's okay.
And I'm just like, you stilllove me.
She was like, Are you are youstill gonna be the same person?
I thought, well, I mean yeah,for me.
She's like, I don't have anissue.
She was just the mostattracting.
She goes, Did you try to So umuh I had stayed by my mama and I
(16:55):
told her I guess I'm gonna tellyou and her first guess was like
we're crying up.
You and Anthony break it up.
Um she dropped her phone likemom, mommy, are you doing?
(17:17):
Yeah, I'm here, so we're tellingme.
And I'm like, probably sheyou're somebody about returning.
So we had the conversation andshe was like, Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, we can make thathappen.
Um, my daddy, it was not a um, Iwas just I ugly cried.
(17:41):
I ugly cried so and he was like,my family got it out.
Um he said, Why are you crying?
And I'm like, Well, I rememberabout 10, 15 years ago, you told
me if your kids came out to USA,you'd disown them.
And he was like, Honey, that wasbefore my triple bypass, I'm a
(18:02):
different person.
Like it's too short to to judgeanyone about who they love.
Um I the the relief I felt wasjust honest, I can't even
compare it to.
Uh because I went for them.
(18:22):
I imagine it's very too hardwinning the gold.
Um my career's new, my my bosswas new, and at first they were
fine.
Um's never treated meindifferently.
I will say that.
I had an an amazing team thataccepted me as I was.
Um but you know, at the at thetime I had a different phone and
(18:49):
um on my screen saver, I had apicture of me and my Renfiance.
And um they were they they werelooking at me we weren't
inappropriate at all.
SPEAKER_01 (19:06):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (19:07):
And I went to pick up my phone because I had a
timer.
I was running smile groups I wasteaching first grade.
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:14):
I quick for that, and I hit the book real quick,
and I always put my phone facedown.
One of the carrots said, Oh,that's my fiance.
Why does your fiance look upbecause she is a girl?
Now let's get back to the I tryto redirect as much as I could.
(19:34):
And then ran around and told allthe other kids, you know, Red
Hunt, like girl, Miss Hunt ismarrying a girl.
And some of the kids were likevery cool with your audit
students who had two moms.
And she was like, You're like mymom.
And I'm like, Yeah, time girlson that.
(19:55):
And and um, next thing I knew, Iwas being called into the
constable's office after school,and the mother of a different
student was there.
And I got talked to about thepicture and I was accused by the
mother of robbing her of thatconversation with her.
SPEAKER_00 (20:16):
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02 (20:16):
But I'm like, oh, so you mean I taught your child
that a gay person can be adecent human being before you
got a chance to put prejudice?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I ripped out the principle,and it's like, who the hell's
supposed to say with this?
Your family mother.
Okay, let's put you behind you.
Where are they?
Well, those are my daughters.
They're your family mother.
(20:37):
And I'm like, you are what?
SPEAKER_00 (20:39):
BS, and you don't have to worry about me coming.
I'm so sorry that happened toyou.
That should have never happened.
And regardless of like aperson's choice on identity of
who they are or whatever theywho whomever they're married to,
I mean, you were respectful.
You taught the kid something,and the child was gonna learn
(20:59):
one way or another.
You're in first grade.
If you're asking questions likethat, it's a time to learn about
that.
And the parent should be saying,thank you, in my opinion.
She feels like she was robbed ofthat experience.
She should have just asked morequestions.
She could have pulled you aside,but instead, if she went to the
principal's office, to me, Ithink that it was like
completely unnecessary and alsojust shows prejudice that people
(21:20):
have on, you know, certainsituations and identities.
And I wanted to go into thatmore.
What was the hardest part thatyou feel like teaching as a gay
teacher in Florida?
Was that your last straw whereyou knew that you needed to then
maintain some type of status quoin order to finish out that
teaching year?
(21:42):
Or did you have other situationsthat came up?
SPEAKER_02 (21:46):
Um, well, it's all tied into that.
I have a neighbor teacher.
She was on my team, she's alovely person.
Um, but she wasn't married toher father, her baby daddy.
And um, she had a picture of thethree of them on her.
And that was their play.
And I said, why can't I have apicture of me and myself even on
my phone?
It wasn't even on my desk.
(22:06):
It was on my phone.
Right.
And I'm like, she can have thatpicture on her block on her
whiteboard.
And no one's like pictures.
Right.
But she like she was asked by astudent, you know, is is your
daughter's last name the same asyours?
Well no, she has her daddy'slast name.
Okay, well, why don't you haveher's last name?
But you know how sometimes, youknow, parents get divorced and
(22:28):
one gets remarried or, you know,something like that, and the mom
just doesn't have the same lastname as the baby.
And that explanation wasn't thatit was it wasn't her fault.
It was the administration'sfault.
Where so I get wild at the justpart of my own.
SPEAKER_00 (22:47):
Oh, I understand.
And I'm so sorry that happenedto you.
When did you realize thatstaying there was costing you
your mental health?
SPEAKER_02 (22:55):
Um, staying married to a man was costing me my
mental health.
SPEAKER_00 (23:00):
Or it can be staying with a man or staying in that
situation as a teacher at thatschool in Florida.
SPEAKER_02 (23:07):
Like on the answer is the teachers um thing.
Um, I I rest at school year.
And before I left, I went to mypartner and I said, I don't want
to do this anymore.
And she was like, What do youmean?
Like she thought I was breakingup with it.
(23:28):
And I said, I don't want toteach anymore.
I'm dumb.
Yeah.
She was like, I'm tired of youcoming home crying, so yeah.
And she's like, What do you wantto do?
I gotta I'll have my own and shewas like, Okay, tell me more
about it.
So I told her the birthday'sidea.
And she goes, Come up with aname for it.
Come up with a design for thewarehouse.
(23:48):
And now our business work thereis Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
I'm so happy that you chose to prioritize your
mental health, and then alsoyour partner saw the same thing
and was tired of you crying.
And honestly, I wish that younever had to cry about that
situation.
Did you ever raise it up to theschool board or to any other,
you know, policymakers, even tothe principal or the
superintendent of the schooldistrict?
SPEAKER_02 (24:14):
I took it to the principal that that's the one I
had a conversation with aboutyour family member.
And I'm like, I tell you, I'mlike, this is ridiculous.
And I use some very powerfullanguage.
Um, that's my first time everspeaking to her like that.
That I I voiced my feelings onit, and I'm like, I'm not gonna
(24:35):
get picked up for next year.
Because when you're a teacher,you get a contract for the
school year.
Like they don't have to lookback the next year.
And I'm like, I didn't know I'mnot getting off gonna come back
next year.
So this is just how I feel.
I don't really have to.
Yeah, rightfully so.
And she had like made up noexperience on my observations
(24:58):
about seeing me in a negativelight.
Like she went back and editedand made me look like a crowd
teacher.
Because I told her I was goingto have a scoreboard, if she
goes, go ahead, I've already gotbirth's evidence.
And I'm like, I have never seenthe right that's Yeah, that's
wrong.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
I'm so sorry.
What did you feel like when youdid you ever go through any
grieving process of leaving frombeing a teacher to starting your
business?
Or were you like, No, this issetting off dead weight, and I'm
ready to like step forward intothe like new life that I want to
live?
SPEAKER_02 (25:27):
I agree.
I did.
I cried and like I'm not even acrier, which is funny.
Like if you know me, it took awhile for me to cry.
I I cried six those I I cried.
Like when I came out at 35, andthen when I quit teaching, um at
like farting and trying to thinkwhat years ago, um, it was like
(25:50):
2022, so it's four years ago.
So yeah, I was 37 at that time,and um I I grieved and I went to
home and I'm so sorry, I'mcrying about this.
I know I should be more excitedabout our business, but this
hurts this hurts my heartbecause you know, ever since I
was like seven years old, Iwanted to be a teacher.
(26:12):
And I'm like, I don't understandwhy I can't just be great and be
a teacher in the And then andthen the governor had passed a
certain bill and I'm like, wow,there I go.
I'm completely out of theprofession and also I would not
be able to write I wouldn't havebeen able to, I'd have gotten
(26:37):
fired of that.
Right.
I don't know if you know aboutthe Florida law, but um if a
child comes out to you asanything other than the gender
they were born, um, you have toreport it to wow.
I believe in keeping a safespace for at my last job,
(26:59):
because I did work IT for alittle bit before moving to
Kentucky.
Um that helps stack one out itwas helpful.
It was helpful.
Let's just say um I recommendedthe bolts at my last job.
SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (27:13):
And you tell me and I keep it.
I I'm a I'm the biggest secretkeeper.
Like yeah, and I I could nothave broken a chair of
confidentiality like that.
Like unless they're thinkingabout harming others or harming
themselves, oh that's gonna staywith me.
SPEAKER_00 (27:31):
Who you are, I'm gonna You know, I I think from
your lived experience with howyou came out and also that fear
that was behind coming out toyour own parents, is what kept
you in that space and also madestudents probably trust you more
with what they were goingthrough as well.
And I think that it's soimportant that teachers provide
that safe space for kids.
(27:53):
And, you know, I think that ifyou were ever to have come out
that there's, you know, ways ofhaving that conversation, but
you did what was right,especially during that time.
I wanted to ask you, so when youdecided to go to Kentucky, why
did you choose Kentucky and youstarted your business?
Like, what was the scariestthing of starting your business
(28:14):
in a new place?
SPEAKER_02 (28:16):
Oh my gosh, starting the business in a new place is
having a better new client howlike believe it or not, despite
the product, the critics on allare more accepting of them like
Are we Terra?
Are we Terra is or for herfriendly partner, she makes
weather handbags and I makestaff bombs and like it's a
(28:37):
whole whole list and um Iusually have an Oracle deck with
me.
SPEAKER_01 (28:42):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (28:43):
Um, it's basically kind of bit of a client target.
We're still working on it afterbeing here for almost two years
now.
We're still building a businessout of um because of the move.
And we live in a very smalltown.
Now I quit this towndeliberately.
SPEAKER_01 (29:01):
Oh yeah, why?
SPEAKER_02 (29:03):
Okay, so I looked up after being disappointed about
the high prices all over likeTennessee and Kentucky and
Virginia and all that.
Because I gotta be back in themountains.
I actually graduated fromnorthern Kentucky.
Oh so um, but I don't live nearmy mama.
I pick a good job three hoursfrom her.
If I need to see her, I can gosee her.
(29:23):
Yeah.
But I river like an hour awayfrom where my daddy grew up.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And I lived at a vertebral,picturesque towns in Kentucky.
Yeah.
And this beautiful little townpopped up in it, and I started
looking at houses, looked at afew here and there.
(29:44):
Houses are run down, or theyweren't worth the price they
were asking for.
And I'm like, you know what?
I want to wrap around parks, Iwant a port swing, I want a
crook in the back.
I've got a one and a half acreof land.
I rent a hair.
So I got my privacy.
I have a main house, a guesthouse, a cottage, uh, two
(30:10):
workshops, and the main housethat we're in right now, because
you still gotta renovate theguest house in the cottage.
But the main house we're inright now has a full bed in the
back.
My guest house has a fourthswing.
And I have a crit running frommy whole backyard.
SPEAKER_00 (30:29):
And my dog wow, that's amazing.
I'm so proud of you, Ellie.
That's amazing.
It sounds so beautiful.
And I don't have a mortgage.
I play certain cash.
And I was like, I You better goahead.
I'm so proud of you.
That is amazing.
That's amazing.
As we wrap this up, I would loveto know what is alignment, what
(30:51):
is living in alignment look likefor you today?
SPEAKER_02 (30:54):
I can be myself and I don't have to apologize for
who I am.
I don't have to explain myselfunless they're asking about my
relationship.
SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
How are you doing?
SPEAKER_00 (31:09):
Yes.
That's so beautiful.
And how do you define resiliencenow?
I get up and I don't give up.
SPEAKER_02 (31:16):
I don't go looking for a position uh a hotel house
or a alpha house.
I keep pushing prayers and Idon't give up.
Waking up and choosing to getout of bed, that is the first
step to resilience.
Don't give up.
It's gonna it's gonna be rough.
(31:37):
There there's a song that playsin my head so often, it's on my
driving playlist and it's likejelly roll.
Oh yeah, I love jelly roll.
That's my favorite song by him.
That's like you know, sometimesyou swear gotta be dry off
random that dirt, but you gottabe quite true.
SPEAKER_01 (31:58):
In addition to grip, there's also that aspect of
mental health.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (32:05):
I wrapped my my last ex husband um to dirt and for me
I live every day.
You walked your ex-husband towhere?
Um my ex-husband got harmed.
That's how I lost him.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
(32:25):
And it was very traumatic.
Like I was on the news there'sthat and it was really bad.
And I wrote every day because hecan't.
He he can't so uh living yourtruth, being honest with who you
(32:47):
are, right, you know, whateverthat may be, you have to find
someone to talk to and that'llguide you.
And he works a light for me tolike help throw me through that
tunnel slowly, you know, becomeI am.
My partner helped me become thebusiness woman I am and to be
(33:08):
the person I am now.
So I I had a great supportsystem in my personal life.
SPEAKER_00 (33:14):
Yeah.
Allie, wow, you are sobeautiful.
I want to thank you so much foryour honesty and your
vulnerability with us today.
Your story reminds people tohave the courage to speak up.
If you're listening and you'reafraid to start over, just like
Ali's story says and she's toldyou, she started over at 35.
You're not late, you're notbroken, you're right on time.
(33:37):
And uh, I'm sure someone'slistening today that probably
knows someone that needs to hearthis.
Please share this episode withsomebody that needs it.
Or if you need to replay theepisode for yourself so you have
my character like Ali, replayit.
Follow the Resilience FilesPodcast unlocked on Instagram,
Twitter, Spotify, ApplePodcasts, wherever you get your
(33:59):
podcast.
And if you have a resilientstory, feel free to share it
with us at resifiles atgmail.com.
We appreciate Ali and we knowthere are so many more stories
like Ali's, and we hope that shehas started encouraging you to
come forward and to walk inself-love on this journey of
life.
Oh my god.
(00:30):
Welcome back to the BrazilianStyles Podcast.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernanz,and we are so excited about our
guest today.
This space exists for honestconversations about survival,
healing, reinvention, andlearning how to live in
alignment with your truth.
This episode includesdiscussions around identity,
(00:50):
coming out, career loss, andmore.
Please take care of yourselfwhile listening.
Today's guest is Ali Hunt.
Ali shares the powerful story ofcoming out at 35, leaving a
career that no longer servesher, and rebuilding a life
rooted in authenticity.
As we do here on the ResilienceFiles podcast, we love to read
(01:12):
our guest essays that aresubmitted to us so we know a
little bit more about them andtheir resilience journey.
So before we get into theinterview, we are going to hear
Allie's essay.
I didn't expect my life to beginagain at 35.
Most people imagine reinventionhappening in their 20s, maybe
(01:33):
after college, maybe after a bigbreakup.
For me, it happened after yearsof doing everything right.
I had built a stable career as ateacher.
I had a routine, a title, ahusband, and a life that looked
respectful from the outside.
But inside, I was carrying atruth that I had been afraid to
(01:54):
live out loud.
At 35, I came out as gay.
That sentence sounds simple now,almost an even tidy.
But at the time, it felt likelighting a match in a room full
of dry leaves.
I knew it would change things.
I just didn't know how much.
I had spent years trying to fitinto expectations that never
(02:16):
truly fit me.
Coming out wasn't aboutrebellion.
It wasn't about politics.
It was about finally choosinghonesty over fear.
It was about waking up every dayand realizing I could no longer
live half a life just to keepother people comfortable.
What I didn't anticipate was howdeeply that honesty would
(02:37):
collide with the environment Iwas in.
I was teaching in Florida, andthe political climate, both in
the government and within theschool system, made it
increasingly clear that therewasn't space for someone like me
to exist authentically withoutconsequence.
It wasn't always loud or direct.
Sometimes it was policies.
(02:58):
Sometimes it was silence.
Sometimes it was the subtlefeeling that parts of me needed
to stay hidden to remainacceptable.
Over time, that pressure becameheavier than the security my
career provided.
Leaving the teaching professionwas not a dramatic decision made
overnight.
(03:19):
It was a slow realization that Iwas shrinking myself to survive.
I loved education.
I loved my students, but I alsoloved my sanity, my integrity,
and eventually my freedom.
Walking away felt like grief andrelief happening at the same
time.
I mourned the life I thought Iwas supposed to have, while also
quietly celebrating the life Imight finally be allowed to
(03:42):
build.
The aftermath was messy.
There were moments of doubt,financial uncertainty, and long
nights wondering if I had made amistake.
Reinventing yourself inadulthood isn't glamorous, is
not a movie montage with upbeatmusic.
It's paperwork, anxiety, andlearning skills you never
expected to need.
(04:02):
It's explaining yourself topeople who don't understand.
It's grieving the version of youthat others preferred.
But somewhere in thatuncertainty, something shifted.
I stopped asking, how do I goback?
And started asking, what do Iwant now?
That question changedeverything.
(04:22):
I moved to Kentucky.
I stepped away from systems thatno longer aligned with who I was
becoming.
I started my own business,something I had never imagined
I'll be brave enough to do.
Building it from the ground uptaught me resilience in a way no
classroom ever could.
Every success felt earned, everystep back taught me
adaptability.
(04:43):
For the first time, mylivelihood was tied directly to
my authenticity instead of myability to conform.
Today, my life looks verydifferent from the one I once
clung to.
I'm not the same person whostood at the crossroads at 35.
I'm stronger, yes.
But more importantly, I'm morehonest.
(05:04):
I understand now that resilienceisn't about never falling apart.
It's about allowing yourself torebuild an alignment with your
truth instead of rebuilding thesame cage with prettier
decorations.
If there's one thing I want alistener to take away from my
story, it's this.
Healing doesn't always look likereturning to what you lost.
(05:26):
Sometimes healing looks likewalking away from what was never
meant for you in the firstplace.
Sometimes it looks like startingover in a new state, a new
career, or a new identity.
And sometimes it simply lookslike waking up and realizing you
no longer apologize for existingas you are.
Coming out didn't ruin my life.
(05:47):
It revealed the parts of my lifethat were never truly mine.
And leaving teaching didn't meanI stopped educating.
It meant I started teachingmyself how to live fully without
negotiation.
My journey wasn't easy and itwasn't quick, but standing on
the other side of it now, I cansay with certainty that choosing
(06:09):
authenticity was the mostresilient act of my life.
My truth didn't end my story.
It finally allowed me to begin.
Wow, Melly, how are you doing?
Powerful essay.
Gosh, how does it feel hearingthe story read back to you?
SPEAKER_02 (06:29):
Um, it we are very different because on the outside
looking in, when it's not you,you're thinking to yourself, oh
my gosh, like how do you gothrough this and and get through
it to the other side, you know,in one piece.
And then I remember if that's mycase.
(06:53):
And I'm like, well, I I have thechoice.
I've been through worse, um, butI I haven't been through
something so tricky and I Iswear I get like a little teary
on thinking about it becausethat was me almost Wow, wow,
thank you for sharing that withus.
SPEAKER_00 (07:14):
I wanna go back to your life before 35, before you
decided to come out, before youdecided like this is a time to
step into who you felt you wtruly were.
Who were you or who were youtrying to be before 35?
SPEAKER_02 (07:30):
Oh, yeah, so um I knew I that society and my
family that I couldn't be thatperson.
Uh where, you know, boys marriedgirls and girls had babies, and
(07:52):
you know, that's just the life Iwas told.
I and I'm like, okay, I'll getmarried.
And I actually married a coupleof different men thinking the
problem was the person I waswith.
I got there was nothing wrongwith those people.
They were and I was trying to bea married teacher.
(08:15):
I was trying to have a I I had ahusband, he rest in peace now.
Um but we had um he accepted mefor who I was.
Like I came out to him before Icame out to anybody else.
And he's like, it's okay.
He said, I serve you.
And I'm like, and you're a greatperson, if you were a chick,
(08:35):
this would be a match we that'sso interesting.
SPEAKER_00 (08:38):
Coming out to your husband before we keep going on,
how I wanna I guess I want toknow what it because I'm sure
people are listening right now,what did your husband say?
And at that moment, did you guysdecide to have like an open
marriage and you did your thingand he did his thing?
SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
Actually, um, we did become polyamorous, and I am
actually currently polyamorous.
SPEAKER_01 (09:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:01):
And I have I have a staff and uh she has a husband
that she's legally married to,and he doesn't he lives here,
but he doesn't stay here becausehe he's an electrician.
So he he travels for at leastonce a month, he tries to come
home.
We just had him home forValentine's week and I clicked
(09:22):
for the whole family.
Basically, we always joke thatshe married the same person
twice.
SPEAKER_01 (09:27):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (09:28):
Yeah, he and I are very um, I'm just a five foot
two version of him.
I'm a little pop.
He and we had an earthquakerelationship where we both tried
to court the same like I wouldcourt a female and then if she
was interested in him, then wewould try to um he was very
accepting and you know, with Iwill say that I have heard her
(09:52):
uh women coming out to theirhusbands and the husband trying
to throw your one out and tryingto take it to joke.
And after every a lot ofheterosexual men try to fetish
Yeah.
He went into that.
(10:14):
He was very loving, veryaccepting, and he understood.
He was like, Well, where do westand?
I said, Well, I I love love foryou and I care about you and you
know, you're not an awfulhusband, and you're not an awful
person, you're not runningaround on me, you're not
stealing from me, so I mean wecould try to make this work and
try to have a family out of it,but I I still wasn't me because
(10:38):
I was so being my wife to a man.
SPEAKER_00 (10:44):
That yeah, thank you for sharing that.
So when you were saying in youressay that you were trying to do
everything right and makeeverything kind of perfect the
way you said, because you grewup in a Bible belt, and the
making everything perfect wasgoing through one husband and
that didn't work, so then youtried another husband, and then
you opened up the marriage andyou tried to have the family.
(11:05):
Did you all ever have thefamily?
SPEAKER_02 (11:08):
Um, I did not have any children.
Um I ended up having amiscarriage.
I'm sorry.
Um I didn't even know I wasmissing, and so I went to the
doctor and saying, How do wemake this issue stop?
And they asked questions, theyran past, and they were like, So
(11:31):
you were pregnant and no and Iwas like, Oh and he was just
exciting that the that thepossibility was there.
Yeah, and um, I still haven'thad children.
I have a possibility.
That's amazing.
(11:52):
Yeah, so um having my ownpersonals allowed me um have
time for them and have time formy family, and you know, do
interviews with incrediblepeople like you.
SPEAKER_00 (12:04):
That's so sweet of you.
Thank you so much.
And I'm sorry that you all wentthrough that experience.
And um I think it's alsoreaffirming that you know you
have your dogs with you, andthat do you ever see yourself
wanting to have a family again?
SPEAKER_02 (12:20):
Like your dogs.
Yeah, that is something that wehave definitely become.
Um she and I are are bothtrying, we're both trapping and
doing everything wrong.
There's um some things in theair right now, nothing's
(12:41):
confirmed.
Okay.
Yes, but trying, but if we'renot able to confirm either of us
being pregnant yet, then um weare trying to work into
adoption.
But it's really difficult tofind an agency that works with a
(13:03):
non-traditional.
Usually grand grandbad,non-traditional family, they
think, okay, so you're twoRussian.
There's they're the Brown remit,um, you know, he would be a
consistent male like role modelin the house, um, but free
parents.
And that kind of sows peopleYeah.
SPEAKER_00 (13:26):
Yeah, it's untraditional, but I mean, there
is a lot of kids that need toreceive love.
And I think, you know, at theend of the day, it's about the
respect that you show the kids,the love that you're showing the
kids.
And, you know, children need ahome.
I think like adoption is abeautiful thing.
I don't think that that'ssomething to be, I think that's
(13:47):
beautiful that you all areconsidering adoption because I
do feel like there's so manykids around the world that needs
to receive love.
And at the end of the day, ifyou could put a roof over their
heads and you can raise them ina right way so they can grow up
to be, you know, positiveimpacts on society, I don't see
an issue with it personally.
SPEAKER_02 (14:08):
Um and I we planned on homeschooling because I have
that background and yeah, youknow, believe in hands-on
learning and the monitoring.
SPEAKER_00 (14:17):
Yeah.
Oh, that is beautiful.
I want to hear about um themoment.
Was there like a specific momentor a specific thing that
happened to you that caused youto say, and I'm gonna walk in my
truth of deciding like I'm nolonger gonna live this life that
I feel like I'm forced to live?
SPEAKER_02 (14:38):
So there are a several layers.
I wish I had like a neat andtidy answer for you that was
just like cover everything.
Yes, it was this momentspecifically.
That there were different I Icame out to my then husband
because I just I was missing, Iwas missing that certain aspect.
(15:00):
And I'm like, gosh, what iswrong with me?
Why can't I just be happy?
He's such a good guy.
And at least, you know, Ithought I was and um I was like,
you know, there's somethingwrong with him.
And he was like, You're gay.
And I'm like, Do you think I'mgay?
Like, I didn't even come afterhim, he told me.
(15:22):
And he was like, What are youfeeling?
And I said, Well, you know,there's this thing that I kinda
want to try out, and there'sthis thing that I've been having
feelings about.
And then he was like, So findsomeone and try it out and see
what you feel.
And then my first record I had,I'm not I'm not bad, I am
definitely gay.
(15:42):
And I told him that, and he waslike, Okay, and now can we fight
them?
But with him, it was justsomething just hurting.
I'm just like, gosh, my heart,it doesn't feel um like there
was just something missing.
And that that was that momentthere, and then I decided to
(16:03):
come out to my parents.
I'm dressed as so um my daddy'smore conservative and uh I was
terrified.
Um I came out to my favorite Icame out to her before anybody
else in the family.
She was like, Whoa, okay.
I'm like, ma'am, did you hear meclearly, Bethlehem?
(16:25):
And she was like, You writegrass and that's okay.
And I'm just like, you stilllove me.
She was like, Are you are youstill gonna be the same person?
I thought, well, I mean yeah,for me.
She's like, I don't have anissue.
She was just the mostattracting.
She goes, Did you try to So umuh I had stayed by my mama and I
(16:55):
told her I guess I'm gonna tellyou and her first guess was like
we're crying up.
You and Anthony break it up.
Um she dropped her phone likemom, mommy, are you doing?
(17:17):
Yeah, I'm here, so we're tellingme.
And I'm like, probably sheyou're somebody about returning.
So we had the conversation andshe was like, Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, we can make thathappen.
Um, my daddy, it was not a um, Iwas just I ugly cried.
(17:41):
I ugly cried so and he was like,my family got it out.
Um he said, Why are you crying?
And I'm like, Well, I rememberabout 10, 15 years ago, you told
me if your kids came out to USA,you'd disown them.
And he was like, Honey, that wasbefore my triple bypass, I'm a
(18:02):
different person.
Like it's too short to to judgeanyone about who they love.
Um I the the relief I felt wasjust honest, I can't even
compare it to.
Uh because I went for them.
(18:22):
I imagine it's very too hardwinning the gold.
Um my career's new, my my bosswas new, and at first they were
fine.
Um's never treated meindifferently.
I will say that.
I had an an amazing team thataccepted me as I was.
Um but you know, at the at thetime I had a different phone and
(18:49):
um on my screen saver, I had apicture of me and my Renfiance.
And um they were they they werelooking at me we weren't
inappropriate at all.
SPEAKER_01 (19:06):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (19:07):
And I went to pick up my phone because I had a
timer.
I was running smile groups I wasteaching first grade.
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (19:14):
I quick for that, and I hit the book real quick,
and I always put my phone facedown.
One of the carrots said, Oh,that's my fiance.
Why does your fiance look upbecause she is a girl?
Now let's get back to the I tryto redirect as much as I could.
(19:34):
And then ran around and told allthe other kids, you know, Red
Hunt, like girl, Miss Hunt ismarrying a girl.
And some of the kids were likevery cool with your audit
students who had two moms.
And she was like, You're like mymom.
And I'm like, Yeah, time girlson that.
(19:55):
And and um, next thing I knew, Iwas being called into the
constable's office after school,and the mother of a different
student was there.
And I got talked to about thepicture and I was accused by the
mother of robbing her of thatconversation with her.
SPEAKER_00 (20:16):
Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02 (20:16):
But I'm like, oh, so you mean I taught your child
that a gay person can be adecent human being before you
got a chance to put prejudice?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And I ripped out the principle,and it's like, who the hell's
supposed to say with this?
Your family mother.
Okay, let's put you behind you.
Where are they?
Well, those are my daughters.
They're your family mother.
(20:37):
And I'm like, you are what?
SPEAKER_00 (20:39):
BS, and you don't have to worry about me coming.
I'm so sorry that happened toyou.
That should have never happened.
And regardless of like aperson's choice on identity of
who they are or whatever theywho whomever they're married to,
I mean, you were respectful.
You taught the kid something,and the child was gonna learn
(20:59):
one way or another.
You're in first grade.
If you're asking questions likethat, it's a time to learn about
that.
And the parent should be saying,thank you, in my opinion.
She feels like she was robbed ofthat experience.
She should have just asked morequestions.
She could have pulled you aside,but instead, if she went to the
principal's office, to me, Ithink that it was like
completely unnecessary and alsojust shows prejudice that people
(21:20):
have on, you know, certainsituations and identities.
And I wanted to go into thatmore.
What was the hardest part thatyou feel like teaching as a gay
teacher in Florida?
Was that your last straw whereyou knew that you needed to then
maintain some type of status quoin order to finish out that
teaching year?
(21:42):
Or did you have other situationsthat came up?
SPEAKER_02 (21:46):
Um, well, it's all tied into that.
I have a neighbor teacher.
She was on my team, she's alovely person.
Um, but she wasn't married toher father, her baby daddy.
And um, she had a picture of thethree of them on her.
And that was their play.
And I said, why can't I have apicture of me and myself even on
my phone?
It wasn't even on my desk.
(22:06):
It was on my phone.
Right.
And I'm like, she can have thatpicture on her block on her
whiteboard.
And no one's like pictures.
Right.
But she like she was asked by astudent, you know, is is your
daughter's last name the same asyours?
Well no, she has her daddy'slast name.
Okay, well, why don't you haveher's last name?
But you know how sometimes, youknow, parents get divorced and
(22:28):
one gets remarried or, you know,something like that, and the mom
just doesn't have the same lastname as the baby.
And that explanation wasn't thatit was it wasn't her fault.
It was the administration'sfault.
Where so I get wild at the justpart of my own.
SPEAKER_00 (22:47):
Oh, I understand.
And I'm so sorry that happenedto you.
When did you realize thatstaying there was costing you
your mental health?
SPEAKER_02 (22:55):
Um, staying married to a man was costing me my
mental health.
SPEAKER_00 (23:00):
Or it can be staying with a man or staying in that
situation as a teacher at thatschool in Florida.
SPEAKER_02 (23:07):
Like on the answer is the teachers um thing.
Um, I I rest at school year.
And before I left, I went to mypartner and I said, I don't want
to do this anymore.
And she was like, What do youmean?
Like she thought I was breakingup with it.
(23:28):
And I said, I don't want toteach anymore.
I'm dumb.
Yeah.
She was like, I'm tired of youcoming home crying, so yeah.
And she's like, What do you wantto do?
I gotta I'll have my own and shewas like, Okay, tell me more
about it.
So I told her the birthday'sidea.
And she goes, Come up with aname for it.
Come up with a design for thewarehouse.
(23:48):
And now our business work thereis Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
I'm so happy that you chose to prioritize your
mental health, and then alsoyour partner saw the same thing
and was tired of you crying.
And honestly, I wish that younever had to cry about that
situation.
Did you ever raise it up to theschool board or to any other,
you know, policymakers, even tothe principal or the
superintendent of the schooldistrict?
SPEAKER_02 (24:14):
I took it to the principal that that's the one I
had a conversation with aboutyour family member.
And I'm like, I tell you, I'mlike, this is ridiculous.
And I use some very powerfullanguage.
Um, that's my first time everspeaking to her like that.
That I I voiced my feelings onit, and I'm like, I'm not gonna
(24:35):
get picked up for next year.
Because when you're a teacher,you get a contract for the
school year.
Like they don't have to lookback the next year.
And I'm like, I didn't know I'mnot getting off gonna come back
next year.
So this is just how I feel.
I don't really have to.
Yeah, rightfully so.
And she had like made up noexperience on my observations
(24:58):
about seeing me in a negativelight.
Like she went back and editedand made me look like a crowd
teacher.
Because I told her I was goingto have a scoreboard, if she
goes, go ahead, I've already gotbirth's evidence.
And I'm like, I have never seenthe right that's Yeah, that's
wrong.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
I'm so sorry.
What did you feel like when youdid you ever go through any
grieving process of leaving frombeing a teacher to starting your
business?
Or were you like, No, this issetting off dead weight, and I'm
ready to like step forward intothe like new life that I want to
live?
SPEAKER_02 (25:27):
I agree.
I did.
I cried and like I'm not even acrier, which is funny.
Like if you know me, it took awhile for me to cry.
I I cried six those I I cried.
Like when I came out at 35, andthen when I quit teaching, um at
like farting and trying to thinkwhat years ago, um, it was like
(25:50):
2022, so it's four years ago.
So yeah, I was 37 at that time,and um I I grieved and I went to
home and I'm so sorry, I'mcrying about this.
I know I should be more excitedabout our business, but this
hurts this hurts my heartbecause you know, ever since I
was like seven years old, Iwanted to be a teacher.
(26:12):
And I'm like, I don't understandwhy I can't just be great and be
a teacher in the And then andthen the governor had passed a
certain bill and I'm like, wow,there I go.
I'm completely out of theprofession and also I would not
be able to write I wouldn't havebeen able to, I'd have gotten
(26:37):
fired of that.
Right.
I don't know if you know aboutthe Florida law, but um if a
child comes out to you asanything other than the gender
they were born, um, you have toreport it to wow.
I believe in keeping a safespace for at my last job,
(26:59):
because I did work IT for alittle bit before moving to
Kentucky.
Um that helps stack one out itwas helpful.
It was helpful.
Let's just say um I recommendedthe bolts at my last job.
SPEAKER_01 (27:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (27:13):
And you tell me and I keep it.
I I'm a I'm the biggest secretkeeper.
Like yeah, and I I could nothave broken a chair of
confidentiality like that.
Like unless they're thinkingabout harming others or harming
themselves, oh that's gonna staywith me.
SPEAKER_00 (27:31):
Who you are, I'm gonna You know, I I think from
your lived experience with howyou came out and also that fear
that was behind coming out toyour own parents, is what kept
you in that space and also madestudents probably trust you more
with what they were goingthrough as well.
And I think that it's soimportant that teachers provide
that safe space for kids.
(27:53):
And, you know, I think that ifyou were ever to have come out
that there's, you know, ways ofhaving that conversation, but
you did what was right,especially during that time.
I wanted to ask you, so when youdecided to go to Kentucky, why
did you choose Kentucky and youstarted your business?
Like, what was the scariestthing of starting your business
(28:14):
in a new place?
SPEAKER_02 (28:16):
Oh my gosh, starting the business in a new place is
having a better new client howlike believe it or not, despite
the product, the critics on allare more accepting of them like
Are we Terra?
Are we Terra is or for herfriendly partner, she makes
weather handbags and I makestaff bombs and like it's a
(28:37):
whole whole list and um Iusually have an Oracle deck with
me.
SPEAKER_01 (28:42):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (28:43):
Um, it's basically kind of bit of a client target.
We're still working on it afterbeing here for almost two years
now.
We're still building a businessout of um because of the move.
And we live in a very smalltown.
Now I quit this towndeliberately.
SPEAKER_01 (29:01):
Oh yeah, why?
SPEAKER_02 (29:03):
Okay, so I looked up after being disappointed about
the high prices all over likeTennessee and Kentucky and
Virginia and all that.
Because I gotta be back in themountains.
I actually graduated fromnorthern Kentucky.
Oh so um, but I don't live nearmy mama.
I pick a good job three hoursfrom her.
If I need to see her, I can gosee her.
(29:23):
Yeah.
But I river like an hour awayfrom where my daddy grew up.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And I lived at a vertebral,picturesque towns in Kentucky.
Yeah.
And this beautiful little townpopped up in it, and I started
looking at houses, looked at afew here and there.
(29:44):
Houses are run down, or theyweren't worth the price they
were asking for.
And I'm like, you know what?
I want to wrap around parks, Iwant a port swing, I want a
crook in the back.
I've got a one and a half acreof land.
I rent a hair.
So I got my privacy.
I have a main house, a guesthouse, a cottage, uh, two
(30:10):
workshops, and the main housethat we're in right now, because
you still gotta renovate theguest house in the cottage.
But the main house we're inright now has a full bed in the
back.
My guest house has a fourthswing.
And I have a crit running frommy whole backyard.
SPEAKER_00 (30:29):
And my dog wow, that's amazing.
I'm so proud of you, Ellie.
That's amazing.
It sounds so beautiful.
And I don't have a mortgage.
I play certain cash.
And I was like, I You better goahead.
I'm so proud of you.
That is amazing.
That's amazing.
As we wrap this up, I would loveto know what is alignment, what
(30:51):
is living in alignment look likefor you today?
SPEAKER_02 (30:54):
I can be myself and I don't have to apologize for
who I am.
I don't have to explain myselfunless they're asking about my
relationship.
SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
How are you doing?
SPEAKER_00 (31:09):
Yes.
That's so beautiful.
And how do you define resiliencenow?
I get up and I don't give up.
SPEAKER_02 (31:16):
I don't go looking for a position uh a hotel house
or a alpha house.
I keep pushing prayers and Idon't give up.
Waking up and choosing to getout of bed, that is the first
step to resilience.
Don't give up.
It's gonna it's gonna be rough.
(31:37):
There there's a song that playsin my head so often, it's on my
driving playlist and it's likejelly roll.
Oh yeah, I love jelly roll.
That's my favorite song by him.
That's like you know, sometimesyou swear gotta be dry off
random that dirt, but you gottabe quite true.
SPEAKER_01 (31:58):
In addition to grip, there's also that aspect of
mental health.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (32:05):
I wrapped my my last ex husband um to dirt and for me
I live every day.
You walked your ex-husband towhere?
Um my ex-husband got harmed.
That's how I lost him.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
(32:25):
And it was very traumatic.
Like I was on the news there'sthat and it was really bad.
And I wrote every day because hecan't.
He he can't so uh living yourtruth, being honest with who you
(32:47):
are, right, you know, whateverthat may be, you have to find
someone to talk to and that'llguide you.
And he works a light for me tolike help throw me through that
tunnel slowly, you know, becomeI am.
My partner helped me become thebusiness woman I am and to be
(33:08):
the person I am now.
So I I had a great supportsystem in my personal life.
SPEAKER_00 (33:14):
Yeah.
Allie, wow, you are sobeautiful.
I want to thank you so much foryour honesty and your
vulnerability with us today.
Your story reminds people tohave the courage to speak up.
If you're listening and you'reafraid to start over, just like
Ali's story says and she's toldyou, she started over at 35.
You're not late, you're notbroken, you're right on time.
(33:37):
And uh, I'm sure someone'slistening today that probably
knows someone that needs to hearthis.
Please share this episode withsomebody that needs it.
Or if you need to replay theepisode for yourself so you have
my character like Ali, replayit.
Follow the Resilience FilesPodcast unlocked on Instagram,
Twitter, Spotify, ApplePodcasts, wherever you get your
(33:59):
podcast.
And if you have a resilientstory, feel free to share it
with us at resifiles atgmail.com.
We appreciate Ali and we knowthere are so many more stories
like Ali's, and we hope that shehas started encouraging you to
come forward and to walk inself-love on this journey of
life.
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