August 6, 2026 • 53 mins
Resilience isn’t pretending everything is okay, it's about rising from the ashes of heartbreak, illness, and betrayal to live with purpose. Grace Aquino’s story is a powerful testament to that truth. From a thriving career and active community life to surviving a catastrophic car accident, a life-altering health crisis, and a toxic marriage, Grace’s journey shows how real resilience is built in the fire of adversity and how it can lead to transformation and renewed hope.In this episode, Grace shares her raw, unfiltered story of falling apart and rising stronger than ever. You’ll discover how she fought for her health and freedom after traumatic trauma and illness, navigated homelessness and abandonment, and ultimately found purpose through faith, writing, and her mission to teach longevity and well-being. Her essay is a masterclass in turning pain into power, revealing the importance of self-love, authentic relationships, and daily resilience practices.We break down her powerful framework for thriving after life’s darkest chapters, including the art of journaling as reflection and healing, the significance of planting seeds of kindness, and the importance of community support. Grace’s insights on the false comfort of busyness, recognizing red flags in unhealthy relationships, and the importance of hope no matter how bleak things seem, offer a roadmap for anyone feeling overwhelmed or lost. She reminds us that resilience is a skill we practice daily, with resources like gratitude, faith, and genuine connection as our tools.Why does this episode matter? Because no matter how shattered your life feels right now, your story is still being written. Grace’s journey illustrates that even the most devastating setbacks can be the foundation for a life of impact, purpose, and profound inner strength. Her message is clear: resilience isn’t about never falling—it's about always choosing to get back up.Perfect for anyone facing trauma, health crises, relationship struggles, or simply seeking hope in tough times. Grace Aquino, a survivor, a healer, and a voice of unwavering faith, proves that healing and purpose are possible after life’s greatest storms.Grace Aquino is a business consultant, writer, and speaker dedicated to empowering others to live longer, healthier, and more meaningful lives. Her book, The Fountain of Youth: The Power to a Healthy and Well-Lived Life, offers daily habits rooted in medical research and personal experience—an essential companion for your resilience journey. You can find her books on Amazon and Ingram, ready to guide you toward your best life at any age.This episode will leave you inspired—whether you’re healing from trauma, reevaluating your relationships, or simply looking for practical ways to build resilience. Remember: in the end, it’s not about never falling; it’s about how fiercely you choose to rise.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
You feel like a license w hand up on their card.
Instead of voting, you doubledown.
You face battle.
You felt broken.
Hey, do us a favor.
Put your hand in your card.
You fill that.
Still here.
Welcome to the Brazilian StylesUnlocked.
(00:30):
Welcome back to the BrazilianStyles Unlocked.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernance,and we are so excited because we
have another special guesttoday.
Sometimes life doesn't break usall at once.
Sometimes it happens slowly,piece by piece.
A career change, a relationshipcracks, a health crisis appears,
(00:50):
and suddenly life, once we knewit, is gone.
But what if those are justmoments?
Not the end of the story, butthe beginning of something new.
Look, today's story reminds usthat resilience is not about
avoiding loss.
It's about learning how to riseagain when everything has fallen
apart.
(01:11):
Welcome back to the ResilienceFiles Podcast.
Unlocked, this podcast isdedicated to sharing real
stories of adversity, courage,and the strength people discover
in life's most difficultchapters.
Each episode reminds us thatresilience isn't about
pretending everything is okay.
It's about finding the courageto keep moving forward, even
when life has its ways ofchanging things.
(01:35):
Even when it's not expected.
Trigger warning for today'sepisode.
Before we begin today's episode,this conversation relates to
serious illness, homelessness,emotional abandonment, trauma
from a car accident, and alittle bit more.
So while this episode ultimatelycarries the message of hope and
(01:55):
healing, some part of ourguest's essay and story that
she's going to share with us maybe emotionally difficult for
some listeners.
So I want you to take care ofyourself while you're listening
to this and pause if you needto.
Your well-being always comesfirst.
As mentioned before, we have alovely guest on today.
Our guest, Grace Aquino, is notonly a business consultant,
(02:17):
realtor, writer, and speaker,but as we do here on the
Resilience Files podcast, welove to hear our guest's essay.
So without further ado, we'regonna allow Grace herself to
read her essay aloud, and thenwe're gonna break it down and
hear about her resiliencejourney.
Thank you, Grace.
Feel free to go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (02:37):
Thank you.
And uh very good advice.
Um telling about the triggeradvisory.
I appreciate that.
So where do we begin?
When a life has had so manybegins.
Some say we should start at thestart.
But for me, beginnings haveappeared again and again.
(03:00):
After every fall, every loss,every rebirth.
My life has been shaped byjourneys that took me north and
south, east and west, acrosscareers, countries,
relationships, and seasons ofthe soul.
Yet the most meaningfulbeginning of all emerged from my
(03:23):
deepest pain, the season thattransformed survival into
purpose.
At the time my life changedforever.
I was a woman in midlife, highlyactive, accomplished, and
aquarly successful.
I was immersed in real estatetransactions, business
consulting, volunteering,community leadership, and social
(03:46):
activities.
My calendar was full.
My days were so busy, my energyseemed limitless, I served
clients as a negotiator,mediator, problem solver, and
sometimes even as a therapist.
I volunteered as a mastergardener, led community events,
(04:09):
and served as treasurer.
I surrounded myself withinspiring seniors learning from
their wisdom and longevity.
After a 25 year career incorporate America, I had built a
life of productivity andservice.
But behind that full schedulewas an emptiness I tried not to
(04:33):
see.
I was married yet emotionallyalone.
My home was marked byindifference and emotional
neglect.
Rather than confront the pain, Ipoured myself into work and
service.
I kept moving, I kept helpingothers, I kept succeeding.
(04:58):
Activity became my shield.
Achievement became ananesthesia.
Being strong meant pretending Iwas fine when I was not.
Then in a single moment,everything shifted.
After living a successful day ofmaking real estate deals, filled
(05:20):
with gratitude for the abundancethat was coming ahead, I drove
carefully through anintersection near a police
station.
Suddenly an 18-year-old driverran stop sign and crashed into
my car.
My vehicle spun violently, 720degrees.
(05:44):
Across four lanes of traffic,turning completely backward.
Cars were approaching from everydirection, yet by God's mercy,
none collided with me.
I survived, but I was not thesame.
I was taken to the hospital,shaken and terrified.
(06:08):
From that day forward, drivingbecame a nightmare.
Every corner replayed the crashin my mind.
Fear became my constantpassenger.
How could I live withoutdriving?
Without freedom, withoutindependence.
(06:30):
Soon after my body started tobetray me.
Violent seizures overtook me.
A preexistent brain tumor causedby long-term medication was
activated by the trauma.
My legs began collapsing beneathme.
(06:50):
I fell without warning.
My mind grew foggy, my speechslurred, my hands could no
longer type or write.
The woman who once managedmultiple careers and
responsibilities could barelymanage her own body.
(07:13):
Doctors' visits replacedmeetings, medical tests replace
closings, medications replaceplants, no cure appeared, only
more prescriptions.
My word shrank to hospitals andwaiting rooms.
Eventually I even becameparaplegic.
(07:37):
Only then did doctors trulyrecognize the severity of my
condition.
Only then did I receivecomprehensive care, but by that
time my life as I have known ithas been gone.
Illnesses strip away myindependence and then heartbreak
(07:57):
strip away my security.
During this vulnerable time, mymarriage collapsed completely.
My husband refused to share ourresources for my basic needs,
such as housing, food, evenclothing.
SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
I found myself from one day to the next, homeless,
ill and abandoned.
SPEAKER_03 (08:27):
I had once managed wealth, wealth of others even,
projects and communities.
Now I have nothing but faith anda very fragile hope.
SPEAKER_02 (08:42):
The emotional impact was devastating.
SPEAKER_03 (08:46):
I grieved my health, I grieved my marriage, I grieved
my former self.
I questioned my worth, Iquestioned my future, I
questioned why God had allowedme so much loss to fall on one
life.
I felt invisible, disposable,forgotten that I was not alone.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Friend after friend extended their hands.
One offered shelter, anotheroffer clothes and shoes, another
offer encouragement.
SPEAKER_03 (09:23):
Piece by piece they helped me revealed.
Through them God reminded methat love still existed, that
kindness still flowed, that Iwas still being seen.
My turning point came not in ahospital room, but in a quiet
(09:45):
promise.
I realized that my survival wasnot accidental.
It was miraculous.
Indeed.
I made a covenant at that timewith God.
If he spared my life, I woulduse my knowledge, experience and
voice to serve others.
(10:07):
I would transform pain intopurpose.
I would turn once into wisdom,and so my journey as a brighter
began.
Brighting healed me.
Each chapter revealed my spirit.
(10:28):
Each sentence restored myconfidence.
Each story reminded me that Iwas still capable, still
valuable, still cold.
Little miracles appeared alongthe way.
Unexpected support, timelyopportunities, provisions.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
Somehow I was sustained.
SPEAKER_03 (10:53):
Somehow I kept going.
Today I stand in a verydifferent season.
My body still carries scars.
My heart still remembers, but myspirit is stronger than ever.
I am not who I was.
(11:14):
I am wiser, more compassionate,more grounded in faith, more
aware that success is notmeasured by titles, income, or a
plus, but by impact, integrityand inner peace.
If I could speak to anyonelistening to my story, my
(11:37):
message would be this do notgive up on yourself.
Pain does not disqualify you.
Loss does not erase you.
Illness does not define you.
Betrayal does not diminish you.
Your stories still be inBritain.
(12:01):
Sometimes God just allowseverything to fall apart so he
can rebuild you on a strongerfoundation.
Resilience is not pretending tobe strong.
It is choosing to rise againwhen you have every reason to
stay down.
(12:21):
I began again with nothing.
No money.
No home.
No health, no certainty.
And yet I'm building a life ofmeaning.
I brought a book about hope.
I found my voice.
I reclaim my destiny.
That is healing.
That is transformation.
(12:42):
That is faith in action.
And this is only the beginning.
SPEAKER_00 (12:48):
Wow.
Grace.
I wish I could reach out andgive you a big, big, big hug
right now.
Ah.
SPEAKER_03 (12:59):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (13:00):
How do you feel?
How are you feeling afterreading that out loud?
SPEAKER_03 (13:03):
Well, obviously, my feelings pour out because I can
recall the emotions that I havebeen through.
Right.
However, the the biggest one isreally to have hope.
And how friendships reallyrescued me.
(13:24):
So amongst the storm, there wereso many people that I had
planted seeds without everthinking that I was going to get
anything in kind.
Little by little they did helpme.
Which uh what would appear likeum silly little things but that
(13:48):
were extremely meaningful to me.
Even uh I it changed myperception on automated messages
that people receive on theinternet, and so many times
people think there's um, well,when you're alone, they're not.
So it is uh moving, but I I'm inanother season, like I
(14:12):
mentioned.
SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Yeah, wow, I love that.
Thank you for sharing that withus.
Guys, I want to take it back alittle bit before your accident
and before life took thisunexpected turn.
Can you tell us what life lookedlike during that season for you?
SPEAKER_03 (14:28):
Yes, so I did not acknowledge that I was living um
a lonely marriage, an alonemarriage with many difficulties,
that I gave chances and chances,and sometimes um we are raised
in a way that um we want to givechances.
Where chances are not meritedbecause we need to keep in mind
(14:52):
that the first person that weneed to love is our ourselves,
of course, God, but ourselves.
SPEAKER_01 (15:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (15:00):
And we keep, like you mentioned, our health and be
in charge of that.
And sometimes the most healthything that you can do is letting
go.
Assessing the situation reallyin a way that um it what is uh
(15:23):
the best um scenario for you,regardless.
And uh sometimes I think uh welive in this framework of
expectations that we need toprovide other people, and uh we
get settled, we are comfortable,and we're staying that just
because it's expected from us,and some situations should not
(15:48):
be like that, and I have met somany people that uh decide to be
settled in um unlovingsituations that uh can turn
catastrophic.
So thankfully I'm alive and wellnow completely recovered my
health, and um yeah, it's just areflection that I would like for
(16:13):
everybody to take home and seehow's your life and how do you
want your life to be.
SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you for sharing that.
It sounds like you know, thatyou were incredibly active, you
were serving others, buildingyour career, staying constantly
busy, but there is alsoemotional loneliness loneliness
in your marriage, and that isdefinitely heavy to deal with.
(16:42):
And you also, when you werewriting your essay, you wrote
something I felt that was verypowerful, and you said activity
became your shield andachievement became your
anesthesia, and that's powerful,yet it's also something that's
reflective of a lot of peoplewhen they have they stay busy to
(17:04):
avoid the deeper pain thatexists, right?
Can you tell us what that meantfor you in that moment?
SPEAKER_01 (17:13):
Like, what did you mean by that?
SPEAKER_03 (17:16):
Yes, I am a people person.
SPEAKER_01 (17:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:20):
People usually tell me you're sweet and this and
that, and uh I love to be aroundpeople that uh fits my energy.
And uh, if I couldn't have umthe emotions at home, um I I
decided, well, I'm I'm going toget them anyway because I'm
always friendly and I makefriends easily.
(17:42):
Through volunteering, I wouldmeet a ton of people and through
my work as well, and theyusually turn into friendships,
long-term friendships.
So I have uh were friendsliterally all over the world,
yeah.
Which was mentioned in my books.
And it it felt uh obviously muchless lonely.
(18:02):
I can recall now how activitiesof my choice, for instance,
certain movies or ballet operaand so on, what I really like, I
enjoy it with my friends.
I would buy them tickets.
Um so with my partner instead,we would uh he would only go to
(18:24):
activities that I paid for thathe liked.
So at the moment, you don'trealize that it's like you don't
see the full picture how you'resurviving, you're in survival
mode, which like uh wave.
And even though you do try tobetter your relationship and you
(18:45):
do talk to a psychologist andbring exercises home and the
person ignores them, then youstill try to have a normal life
and you normalize it with otheractivities.
But at some point, I mean itreally becomes clear because if
you are um sick, if you are inneed of your partner's support,
(19:11):
you know, people are not gonnacome to your house to feed you
if you cannot get out of bed.
Although there's you know,there's some people that do
carry through church meals andstuff.
But to the extent that I wasill, I really needed my partner
to pick up.
Absolutely.
(19:31):
And um at that point, I I thinkuh you repeat your vows in your
head and you realize howextremely neglected you are when
you are not even offered water.
SPEAKER_01 (19:48):
Shame on that man, shame on him.
SPEAKER_00 (19:51):
I'm so sorry that you have to go through those
that type of experience, and noone should have to experience
that.
Not at your highest high, yourlowest low, or whatever part of
life.
Like you make a vow, you stickto it.
Even if you choose not to honorthe vow fully, you stick to it.
This is a person that's been byyour side.
(20:12):
So I do want to acknowledge thatI'm terribly sorry that that was
your experience.
And you seem like such a loving,beautiful person.
And I feel like so many peoplealso, you know, find themselves
in a lonely or difficultsituation, and they do tend to
(20:32):
go find what they're looking forhourly.
And that's when you know thatthe relationship is definitely
walking on eggshells.
There's a hazard and needs to bechecked out.
But I want to kind of continueto go into that aspect that
you're saying, like even whenyou needed the basic needs,
water.
I want you to take us back tothe day of the accident.
(20:54):
You described your car spinning720 degrees across four lanes of
traffic.
That must have been incrediblyterrifying.
Do you remember in that moment,did you have the police or the
ambulance contact your husbandat the time?
Do you remember in that momentthat he ever care?
Did he ever show up or or hedidn't care at all?
(21:18):
Was he completely checked outand you just realized in that
moment that like it was worsethan what it was?
Or what do you what do youremember about that moment of
your life?
SPEAKER_03 (21:31):
It's amazing how those events really transformed
your life, and you remember likein a slow motion, everything.
You can retell the story littleby little.
I do remember how I was veryhappy and I was approaching the
corner and uh very aware ofbeing a realtor, I cannot have
(21:53):
even one single ticket, and Ijust have time to say that I
assume.
Me was a man, that man is notgoing to boom.
Meaning I was gonna say stop andthen boom.
SPEAKER_01 (22:09):
It happened, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:11):
The accent happened or the the crash happened, it's
not an accident.
She find liable, but I I justdidn't want to go through the
whole uh ordeal, which couldmake me more sick.
So all those movements and so onand going back and forth and uh
and all the the people that werebehind me who were terrified of
(22:34):
how they could have beeninvolved in the collision and
how extremely upset they werebecause they also witnessed what
had happened and veryresponsible person who
completely missed a stop sign.
She just had gotten her driver'slicense.
When it happened, I smelled gas,so the the sensation was that
(22:57):
the car was gonna explode aswell.
I don't know how I managed toget out.
And then people started helpingme and I was shaking in shock
and also hurt.
And they put me, it was a rainyday and they put me on the grass
so I got all wet.
(23:19):
He was cold and uh he came tothe scene but he was pretty
adamant about uh me having anambulance that he cared more
about the money of the doctorrather than me being safe being
taken care to a hospital in anambulance after such a very
(23:44):
strong collision.
So that just gives you areflection of uh which I I got
pretty well afterwards um in theproceedings where he has told
publicly that he married me formoney.
Yeah.
Basically to be a slave in hisstate and take care of
(24:07):
everything, meanwhile hetraveled and uh produced at the
same time, make money so that itwouldn't be just uh his
earnings.
Um it's pretty hard when yourealize that a person is capable
to say that they never lovedyou, that they marry with you
(24:27):
because of money, and then aftermore than 10 years of marriage,
that they want to annul amarriage.
And how can you annul all thedifferent things that happened
in all that time?
You can't you deny that I soldum his parents' home, and you
(24:48):
can't deny that I improved thestate, and you can't deny so
many things, 10 years or so ofthat I did.
And for um his his deceasedsister and so on, there's so
many things that I did that Icontributed to the home.
You cannot deny that, so there'sno way to annul a 10-year
(25:09):
marriage, give me a break.
But that's how you reallyinternalize the the point in
which a person really did notlove you at all, at all.
There might have been signalshere and there, and of course a
neglect is one of them, andemotional abuse.
(25:31):
But uh was uh the person, whichby the way has me still on
Facebook showing my face as PR.
SPEAKER_01 (25:40):
No.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (25:45):
Yeah, that's horrible because I asked Meta,
please take it down.
Right.
And they haven't.
So there's um a chat thatperhaps some people need to have
about the narcissism, which is abig topic, and how they just
produce an image for otherpeople.
And that's what I was.
(26:06):
I was just an image.
Unfortunately, I didn't realizethat for such a long time, and
he literally wasted, you know,more than a decade of my life
that I could have had perhapssomebody else, or or just be by
myself because I was reallyhappy before getting married.
I was living by the beach, youknow.
I thought I was never gonnamarry again.
(26:30):
Then, you know, there's thissort of characters who totally
portray um like an actor, youknow, a certain person who is
doesn't really exist.
It's just to convince you into arelationship, and then little by
little the layers of the onionstart uh getting discovered.
(26:53):
Yeah.
But thankfully I did, and ittook uh quite a lot, um uh a
very difficult episode, but uh Idid, and I was able to get out
alive, which I'm appreciativeof.
Yes, recover.
SPEAKER_00 (27:10):
I love that.
Wow, you have been through alot, um, Chris.
I you know, it really breaks myheart to hear the fact that you
were married to someone for over10 years, and instead of the
first thought coming to mind isto get you medical help that
they question the cost of theambulance.
And that's obviously a red flag.
(27:32):
But to go on to say, like, ifnot surviving the accident
wasn't enough, that's somethingto rejoice.
You know, this is where thehealth challenges uh begin to
escalate.
Like you experienced then afterthat you said you were having
seizures and memory loss andneurological complications, and
(27:52):
at the same time, you weredepending on the person that you
made these vows to to comethrough and to step up, and they
failed you.
They didn't, and not only didthey fail you, but they they
left you in the midst of ahealth crisis.
Like I'm so sorry that you wentthrough that.
(28:13):
I mean, somebody's listeningtoday is probably they may
relate to your story.
I wanna know was the mostdifficult part of navigating
this new medical journey likethe heartbreak and not having
someone to rely on while dealingwith that?
Or was it well I mean, I feellike I'm answering the question,
(28:35):
but you're gonna tell us thereal answer because in the midst
of that, then what happened?
He kicks you out of the house,you have no place to go, or what
was that transition looking likefor you?
Because I know you were sayingyou were dealing with
homelessness, he wouldn't feedor supply you with necessities.
SPEAKER_03 (28:54):
I was hospitalized when I became paraplegic and um
I suffered physical abuse at thehospital.
Unfortunately, the nurses I wason camera the whole time, and
sometimes I had to remind him,you're on camera, and then he
would say, shoot, and then hewill re retrieve.
(29:14):
But he had control of my cellphone, and there were things
that happened at the hospitalthat were terrible.
Thankfully, the hospital did uhcall for a follow-up at um at
that point of when I just cameback.
He tried to play hero at thehospital, meanwhile denying
access to pain managementdoctors and so on.
(29:36):
And unfortunately, somethingvery common that happens in
hospitals is they listened tothe man in the room.
And they did.
And I had no voice.
So the doctors would go away,and um and so many things
happened there.
As soon as we got into the carto return home, I knew I was in
(29:56):
deep trouble.
He went immediately upstairs anduh completely, you know, was not
even talking to me afterplaying, you know, the good
husband in the hospital,meanwhile preventing care.
So the hospital was the one whocalled the police.
Okay.
And um I had just one decisionto make, I had to leave because
(30:22):
otherwise I would not survivewithout uh anybody carrying
water for me or meals or youknow continuing my care.
I would not survive with asituation that already escalated
a lot in the hospital.
If he was able with cameras tobe physically abusive, you can
(30:42):
imagine what could have happenedat home.
Right.
So I saw myself very close topassing.
There was a settlement pendingin which I had put him as
beneficiary.
Unknowingly that um he mightperhaps do something for me to
(31:05):
go faster.
So the the police really didn'tgive me a whole lot of choices
after having helped umorganizations that help women.
SPEAKER_01 (31:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (31:19):
It was no bad for me.
No.
I got one phone call andthankfully one phone call made
it when my friend heard me cryand ask for shelter.
She said, Yes, come.
Come.
Yeah.
And they dropped me off thereand I had no shoes.
I was in pyjamas, no luggage,nothing.
(31:43):
Wow.
What's the most difficult part?
Well realizing what um the thefacade you have had at home.
The the whole set of lies andhow how I I was unable to be
myself the stronger person thatI was, but my mind was making a
(32:10):
rewind of all that time and howthere were so many things that
had happened that had beentolerated.
It was just uh incredible howthe mind can go backwards and
start connecting the dots.
Right.
(32:31):
Which I had not done before.
So I was really weak mentally.
Um I felt completely apart.
I don't think if those friendswould not have sheltered me, I
didn't feel capable of renting ahome, being a realtor, paying a
um a cable bill, arranging foran electricity bill, and things
(32:52):
like that.
I felt the lack of affection wasso immense, and it's like it was
a tsunami of how seeing allthose emotions come together
that I didn't have affection,true affection from my
significant other for more thana decade.
SPEAKER_01 (33:13):
Wow.
SPEAKER_03 (33:14):
And just having that process going through my mind,
how it literally opened it up,and I I just realized, oh my
god, and I have to heal andstart to reveal myself and uh
make the best of this situationand um figure out, you know, and
(33:35):
you want to rest.
You're so tired.
You want to rest, but there's notime to rest.
You have to figure out what's init's there, and then you feel a
lot of pressure from differentparties.
Oh, you have to divorce, youhave to this, you have to that,
you have to that, I say, wheredo I start?
I'm at South already, justmanaging the feelings.
SPEAKER_00 (33:58):
Yeah, you're feeling depleted with your health, your
marriage is falling completelyapart, the person that you
trusted has now abandoned you.
You right had this facade forover a decade of his life, and
you're trying to put your lifeback together after this
traumatic accident in the midstof it all.
And it's so interesting becauseI'm sure somebody's listening
(34:18):
today and they're carrying afacade in their life and
pretending as if everything isgoing okay at home, and they're
finding out, you know, how toreceive outside happiness or joy
or peace.
But that's not that answer ifyou can't.
When things get tough, whenthings get hard, you can't rely
(34:41):
on that person.
If that person is so far gonethat they that even in the midst
of argument or conflict, becausethat's natural, it will happen
if you are with someone for along time because we are human,
but you're talking about a wholenother layer of a person that
deserves zero bit of empathy forme.
(35:01):
I know that.
And has I don't even know whohis parents are, but I just feel
so incredibly sad because in themidst of you trying to pull
yourself together and out you'redealing with so much, and you're
right, you're trying to get restand you're trying to find
yourself, and it's it's a lot.
I mean, that kind of abandonmentduring illness can just not only
(35:22):
be deeply painful, but it'sisolating and you're trying to
pull it together.
You mentioned so many differentthings during that point of like
homelessness and just livingbetween friends' homes and the
friends opening the door foryou.
You wrote that you know you weresaying that sometimes the
darkest chapters of your lifereveal the kindness of others.
(35:45):
And something that you mentionedearly on in this podcast was
that you've always planted theseseeds, right?
And you never imagined that youwould need to kind of reap what
this maybe the rewards or thefruit that the seeds that you
planted would yield.
But I honestly think that I'mhappy that your friends came
(36:07):
through, but you are alwaysgiving to others.
When you reached that point,that felt like a breaking point
for you.
You were tired, you wereexhausted, you're living between
homes.
What helped you surviveemotionally during that time?
SPEAKER_03 (36:20):
A book, I would have to say, in addition to seeing
the kindness of my friends, thefew friends, uh, because there
were some that completely shiedaway.
It was they they could not facethe situation.
People who had promised me tohelp me when the time came shied
away, but they were the goodfriends.
(36:42):
And um, one of these goodfriends gave me a beautiful book
called Hope, and it's by PopeFrancis, it's a compilation of
articles.
And when I saw the book and I Iwould read the four words
H-O-P-E, and I was out of hope.
(37:03):
Like, how do I even start?
I don't have the physicalcapability to do my job anymore.
I don't have the resources.
How do I find hope?
And however, that book I I tookit to heart and read article
after article, and it juststarted to build a little, a
(37:28):
little, it ignited a little bitof light.
And I have studied the art ofliving from Seneca and Aristotle
and Plato for many years, eighttimes that I was not well.
And um it started to kick in tokind of that spark that was
(37:50):
offering me that book calledHope.
It just ignited a flame thatkept growing a little bit, and
like I said, it's like littlemiracles happen every day.
Yes.
My life started from the friendwho gave me shelter, the friend
(38:11):
who gave me clothes.
I was able to get my car, therewas another friend who helped me
get a few things, and then Itook the big leap of going
across states and driving forthe first time by myself many
miles to get away from it all.
So I moved out of state and I Ididn't think I was gonna be
(38:33):
capable.
Four days it took, and I visiteduh Graceland, the house of uh
Elvis Presley, because I hadwhen I was uh very, very sick, I
was listening to his gospelalbum, which I encourage
everybody to listen.
And the words were just souplifting, so uplifting, and
(38:58):
prayer kept me going, and I feltaccompanied during that trip.
I felt I was not alone.
Somehow somebody was guardingme, and I was able to stay awake
for hours driving until Ireached my destination to
(39:18):
another person's charity to havea bed on a trunk bed, can't you
imagine?
Wow.
And and this just happened likethat.
There were, you know, a set ofcoincidences in which I would
find another friend that gave mea way to have a temporary job
(39:40):
and earn a little bit of money,just enough to buy food, just
enough for the next step of thejourney, just enough to have the
legality to then get a place,just enough and and so on.
It it was a sense of wonder lostall the time, how um God was
(40:04):
putting a little another stoneand I would ask, just show me
the way, guide me, show me theway, and another stone would be
there to jump into that one, andthen I was safe again and so I
cannot tell you how manydifferent ways I have obtained
food from people, many acts ofmercy, incredible kindness.
(40:32):
So my way to give back is thatpromise that I gave to God, to
Bride.
Yeah, what he gives, he hasgiven me knowledge that I did
not know was gonna have thispurpose, to teach longevity to
people.
And as my doctor said, Oh mygod, you're the perfect example
(40:56):
of um to teach longevity becauseyou have overcome how much uh
how many diseases and conditionsand are healthy now that it's
quite incredible, and I can joinwhat is the research I've done
on the art of living with themedical research, with my own
(41:20):
conditions having overcome them,and then all the friendships
that I purposely did with somany seniors because I wanted to
learn from their wisdom.
So I surrounded myself in thelast 15 years with a lot of
autogenarians, and they wouldalways be so generous in their
(41:43):
knowledge on how to live a goodlife, a healthy and productive
life, that when I decided, wellGod, what's gonna be my first
book?
It had to be the fountain ofyouth, the power to a health and
relief.
SPEAKER_00 (41:59):
Let's get into that.
This is I feel like the momentwhere your story shifted from
survival into purpose.
And like you said, the doctorsare saying you're a great
example of what longevity lookslike.
And then you started usingwriting as a healing.
Because as we do wrap up, I dowant to talk about your book.
So your book, The Fountain ofYouth, The Power of Healthy and
Well-Lived Life, came out ofthis experience.
(42:23):
Can you tell us?
I felt like writing cansometimes become a bridge
between pain and transformation.
How did writing help you heal?
And tell us more about thatbook.
SPEAKER_03 (42:34):
Well, journaling is a great tool for meditation and
reflection.
As uh those thoughts of uhrewinding my life in this
relationship came about, theywere so overwhelming that I
decided I was gonna start uhbrightening them, brightening
(42:56):
the feelings to understand themmore.
And uh I was pretty sure I wasgoing to forget everything that
was pouring into my brain.
So I, as a meditation practice,I started journaling as they
would come.
And I'm talking about, you know,in the middle of the night that
(43:18):
they were coming, I would sleepthree hours and then the
thoughts would come, and then Iwould I would sleep with a
notepad next to me and a penready, and sometimes I had my
eyes open, sometimes I didn't.
And amazingly enough, when youwould see the notepad in the
morning, the lines werecompletely straight, and they
(43:41):
had perfect handwriting, and Icould uh read back what I had uh
written.
So it related all the differentexperiences throughout many
years and many things, so thenit made sense on uh what I had
experienced so I could reflect.
When I read it in the morning,okay, then if you add to that
(44:04):
this and that and that, then youknow it just uh completes the
story.
So it's a tremendous tool, andthat's what we have to have.
Uh kind of resources, whetherit's gratitude or breathing, or
journaling, or taking a hotshower.
And so we build resources tobuild our resilience.
(44:29):
And I think that was uh uh agreat uh method that I use at
that uh moment in time to beable to survive what I was
living.
SPEAKER_00 (44:41):
I love that.
Wow, that is so beautiful, andso it's amazing how you've
rebuilt your work, your purpose,and your mission into your book.
And today looks very different,obviously, than it did before
that accident.
I want to know where you are inyour life today.
Where is the book available at?
Where can people find it?
SPEAKER_03 (45:02):
Well, I brought the fountain of youth, the power to
a healthy and well-lived lifeout of the medical research and
the experience I have lived andall the interviews I have made
to autogenarians.
It's a gift to humanity so thatpeople can reach at least 80
years old, because it's a guideof daily habits on how to live a
(45:27):
purposeful life.
The younger a person is, themore they can really realize
what's their career, theirpurpose, and so on.
So it has what I call the 11keys for a personal journey of
transformation to go intowell-being and living uh to be
(45:48):
an autogenarian.
It's available on Amazon andIngram.
And uh it's this is thehardcover uh because it's a
daily habit guide, it's really abook that should be on our
nightstand because it providessome information on, for
(46:08):
instance, if you need to pickyourself up.
It has affirmations, it hasexercises to how to practice
gratitude, it has uh prayer, andit has uh resilience
methodology, and it talks of itgives a ton of tricks of how
people have reached that age.
In a complex manner, because Ididn't want it to be a huge
(46:33):
book.
It's uh like a two-hour read.
But the idea is not to discardthe book, is to have it just
next to your bed.
So if I'm done, what do I do?
Pick up your book on this page,and then you're gonna make an
affirmation in front of themirror, and then you're gonna
feel better and be ready to taketheir work.
SPEAKER_01 (46:53):
I know that's right.
SPEAKER_03 (46:57):
But I I decided to keep going.
This is uh let's say like from16 years old on.
And because of all the differentfriends that came to the rescue
and an experience that I hadwith a child, and I was shy
myself, believe it or not.
I brought this children's bookcalled I Was Shy.
SPEAKER_01 (47:20):
I love that.
SPEAKER_03 (47:22):
It's a well-being book too, but for for kids,
because it builds theirresilience and it encourages
kids to get out of their shell,to build friends, because
friends are a treasure, becausethey rescue you when you do not
have a family.
So that's the message of thisbook to hopefully reach from
(47:48):
kids on.
Get out of your uh comfort zoneand start making friends because
they're totally worth it.
Yes.
You never know when they'regonna be there for you.
It's it's not the purpose, butyou do not have to be alone in
this life.
You can just have friends, goodfriends.
(48:09):
And a friend is just around thecorner.
So it's resilience for kids,it's great for teachers or for
anybody who has a quiet child intheir life and want to encourage
them to get out and start makingfriends.
I was shy, it's also availableon Amazon and Ingram.
SPEAKER_00 (48:31):
I love that.
Thank you so, so much.
I'll definitely add that to ourshow notes below.
As we wrap up, my last questionfor you is looking back at
everything you went throughillness, loss, homelessness.
What do you truly think uhresilience means to you now?
SPEAKER_03 (48:51):
Well, resilience, as you know, is the ability to
thrive despite the challengesthat one might face.
And everybody faces challenges.
One way or another, they can beof different dimensions.
To me, it means once more thatuh you can truly be resilient
(49:15):
regardless of what happens, andsometimes we have to remind
ourselves that on a daily basisbecause um I still, you know,
need to provide for myself fromsome time ago forward, and um it
takes uh a new mindset to reallybe by yourself and um just uh
(49:40):
have that confidence every day.
So I don't think you're everdone with it.
You have to practice it andcontinue trying to thrive.
So um just seek uh the resourcesout.
Stoicism is a great philosophyto follow.
And to me, I mean if uh themessage of hope gets to anyone,
(50:06):
please do not give up.
Don't give up.
When you have a bad moment,remember it's just that moment
in time, and there's gonna be anew sunshine.
So try to do one of theactivities that I recommend in
the book, but uh you can uhsearch for your resources as
(50:29):
well.
It doesn't have to benecessarily my book, although I
recommend it, because itsummarizes you know what to do
about it and the techniques.
I know that uh there's hardconversations when people are
feeling down, they can dosomething that cannot be
remedied.
The S-word, but I don't like tomention it.
(50:49):
And many times people feel sodown that they're very close to
getting it done.
I would encourage you to call agood friend, listen to music,
take a shower, do something todistract you from that thought
that is just momentary.
Believe me, momentary.
(51:11):
So there's gonna be another day.
And if you feel so so bad, uhplease remember there's other
people that are having it muchworse than you.
If my life, please feel free touse it if you think my life was
so bad as a reminder that it canget really tough.
(51:32):
I know for sure other people arein worse circumstances, and to
me, I myself as reminded of thatmany times, and then I pick
myself up again and again.
SPEAKER_01 (51:46):
So that's Grace.
SPEAKER_03 (51:49):
I believe in the positive movement.
It's not uh it's not shallow, itcan come from your core values.
Try to build upon it and startemploying the resources and
people around you.
Okay dokie, because togetherwe're better.
SPEAKER_00 (52:07):
Together we're better, Miss Grace Aquino.
Your story reminds us that ofsomething incredibly powerful,
and sometimes life dismantlesthe structures we build.
But it's not to destroy us, butto rebuild us to be deeper and
our life to be more meaningful.
Your journey shows us thatresilience is not about
(52:30):
pretending you're strong.
It's about choosing to riseagain and again, even when
everything has been strippedaway.
It could be your health, thatcould be your husband, that can
be your job, it could be yoursanity for a moment.
But you're right, we're bettertogether and we're better here
on this side of the earth.
So if you're ever thinking ofthat S word, just know that this
(52:54):
too will pass and that you gotit in you, and things will get
better.
You just gotta keep going.
And I want to say again, yourjourney is a reminder that pain
does not erase purpose, thateven in the hardest seasons,
hope still can and will takeroot.
Everybody, this is theResilience Fouls Podcast
(53:16):
Unlocked.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
If this story resonated withyou, please share this episode
with someone who needsencouragement today.
And remember that resilienceisn't about never falling.
It's about finding the courageto rise again, even when you do.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernunts,and please check the show notes.
Support Grace and her book.
(53:38):
Leave it as a bedside mannerread.
However, if you don't see it foryourself, see it for a friend.
Check it out on Amazon.
It has been great.
Thank you so much.
You feel like a license w hand up on their card.
Instead of voting, you doubledown.
You face battle.
You felt broken.
Hey, do us a favor.
Put your hand in your card.
You fill that.
Still here.
Welcome to the Brazilian StylesUnlocked.
(00:30):
Welcome back to the BrazilianStyles Unlocked.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernance,and we are so excited because we
have another special guesttoday.
Sometimes life doesn't break usall at once.
Sometimes it happens slowly,piece by piece.
A career change, a relationshipcracks, a health crisis appears,
(00:50):
and suddenly life, once we knewit, is gone.
But what if those are justmoments?
Not the end of the story, butthe beginning of something new.
Look, today's story reminds usthat resilience is not about
avoiding loss.
It's about learning how to riseagain when everything has fallen
apart.
(01:11):
Welcome back to the ResilienceFiles Podcast.
Unlocked, this podcast isdedicated to sharing real
stories of adversity, courage,and the strength people discover
in life's most difficultchapters.
Each episode reminds us thatresilience isn't about
pretending everything is okay.
It's about finding the courageto keep moving forward, even
when life has its ways ofchanging things.
(01:35):
Even when it's not expected.
Trigger warning for today'sepisode.
Before we begin today's episode,this conversation relates to
serious illness, homelessness,emotional abandonment, trauma
from a car accident, and alittle bit more.
So while this episode ultimatelycarries the message of hope and
(01:55):
healing, some part of ourguest's essay and story that
she's going to share with us maybe emotionally difficult for
some listeners.
So I want you to take care ofyourself while you're listening
to this and pause if you needto.
Your well-being always comesfirst.
As mentioned before, we have alovely guest on today.
Our guest, Grace Aquino, is notonly a business consultant,
(02:17):
realtor, writer, and speaker,but as we do here on the
Resilience Files podcast, welove to hear our guest's essay.
So without further ado, we'regonna allow Grace herself to
read her essay aloud, and thenwe're gonna break it down and
hear about her resiliencejourney.
Thank you, Grace.
Feel free to go ahead.
SPEAKER_03 (02:37):
Thank you.
And uh very good advice.
Um telling about the triggeradvisory.
I appreciate that.
So where do we begin?
When a life has had so manybegins.
Some say we should start at thestart.
But for me, beginnings haveappeared again and again.
(03:00):
After every fall, every loss,every rebirth.
My life has been shaped byjourneys that took me north and
south, east and west, acrosscareers, countries,
relationships, and seasons ofthe soul.
Yet the most meaningfulbeginning of all emerged from my
(03:23):
deepest pain, the season thattransformed survival into
purpose.
At the time my life changedforever.
I was a woman in midlife, highlyactive, accomplished, and
aquarly successful.
I was immersed in real estatetransactions, business
consulting, volunteering,community leadership, and social
(03:46):
activities.
My calendar was full.
My days were so busy, my energyseemed limitless, I served
clients as a negotiator,mediator, problem solver, and
sometimes even as a therapist.
I volunteered as a mastergardener, led community events,
(04:09):
and served as treasurer.
I surrounded myself withinspiring seniors learning from
their wisdom and longevity.
After a 25 year career incorporate America, I had built a
life of productivity andservice.
But behind that full schedulewas an emptiness I tried not to
(04:33):
see.
I was married yet emotionallyalone.
My home was marked byindifference and emotional
neglect.
Rather than confront the pain, Ipoured myself into work and
service.
I kept moving, I kept helpingothers, I kept succeeding.
(04:58):
Activity became my shield.
Achievement became ananesthesia.
Being strong meant pretending Iwas fine when I was not.
Then in a single moment,everything shifted.
After living a successful day ofmaking real estate deals, filled
(05:20):
with gratitude for the abundancethat was coming ahead, I drove
carefully through anintersection near a police
station.
Suddenly an 18-year-old driverran stop sign and crashed into
my car.
My vehicle spun violently, 720degrees.
(05:44):
Across four lanes of traffic,turning completely backward.
Cars were approaching from everydirection, yet by God's mercy,
none collided with me.
I survived, but I was not thesame.
I was taken to the hospital,shaken and terrified.
(06:08):
From that day forward, drivingbecame a nightmare.
Every corner replayed the crashin my mind.
Fear became my constantpassenger.
How could I live withoutdriving?
Without freedom, withoutindependence.
(06:30):
Soon after my body started tobetray me.
Violent seizures overtook me.
A preexistent brain tumor causedby long-term medication was
activated by the trauma.
My legs began collapsing beneathme.
(06:50):
I fell without warning.
My mind grew foggy, my speechslurred, my hands could no
longer type or write.
The woman who once managedmultiple careers and
responsibilities could barelymanage her own body.
(07:13):
Doctors' visits replacedmeetings, medical tests replace
closings, medications replaceplants, no cure appeared, only
more prescriptions.
My word shrank to hospitals andwaiting rooms.
Eventually I even becameparaplegic.
(07:37):
Only then did doctors trulyrecognize the severity of my
condition.
Only then did I receivecomprehensive care, but by that
time my life as I have known ithas been gone.
Illnesses strip away myindependence and then heartbreak
(07:57):
strip away my security.
During this vulnerable time, mymarriage collapsed completely.
My husband refused to share ourresources for my basic needs,
such as housing, food, evenclothing.
SPEAKER_02 (08:18):
I found myself from one day to the next, homeless,
ill and abandoned.
SPEAKER_03 (08:27):
I had once managed wealth, wealth of others even,
projects and communities.
Now I have nothing but faith anda very fragile hope.
SPEAKER_02 (08:42):
The emotional impact was devastating.
SPEAKER_03 (08:46):
I grieved my health, I grieved my marriage, I grieved
my former self.
I questioned my worth, Iquestioned my future, I
questioned why God had allowedme so much loss to fall on one
life.
I felt invisible, disposable,forgotten that I was not alone.
SPEAKER_02 (09:08):
Friend after friend extended their hands.
One offered shelter, anotheroffer clothes and shoes, another
offer encouragement.
SPEAKER_03 (09:23):
Piece by piece they helped me revealed.
Through them God reminded methat love still existed, that
kindness still flowed, that Iwas still being seen.
My turning point came not in ahospital room, but in a quiet
(09:45):
promise.
I realized that my survival wasnot accidental.
It was miraculous.
Indeed.
I made a covenant at that timewith God.
If he spared my life, I woulduse my knowledge, experience and
voice to serve others.
(10:07):
I would transform pain intopurpose.
I would turn once into wisdom,and so my journey as a brighter
began.
Brighting healed me.
Each chapter revealed my spirit.
(10:28):
Each sentence restored myconfidence.
Each story reminded me that Iwas still capable, still
valuable, still cold.
Little miracles appeared alongthe way.
Unexpected support, timelyopportunities, provisions.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
Somehow I was sustained.
SPEAKER_03 (10:53):
Somehow I kept going.
Today I stand in a verydifferent season.
My body still carries scars.
My heart still remembers, but myspirit is stronger than ever.
I am not who I was.
(11:14):
I am wiser, more compassionate,more grounded in faith, more
aware that success is notmeasured by titles, income, or a
plus, but by impact, integrityand inner peace.
If I could speak to anyonelistening to my story, my
(11:37):
message would be this do notgive up on yourself.
Pain does not disqualify you.
Loss does not erase you.
Illness does not define you.
Betrayal does not diminish you.
Your stories still be inBritain.
(12:01):
Sometimes God just allowseverything to fall apart so he
can rebuild you on a strongerfoundation.
Resilience is not pretending tobe strong.
It is choosing to rise againwhen you have every reason to
stay down.
(12:21):
I began again with nothing.
No money.
No home.
No health, no certainty.
And yet I'm building a life ofmeaning.
I brought a book about hope.
I found my voice.
I reclaim my destiny.
That is healing.
That is transformation.
(12:42):
That is faith in action.
And this is only the beginning.
SPEAKER_00 (12:48):
Wow.
Grace.
I wish I could reach out andgive you a big, big, big hug
right now.
Ah.
SPEAKER_03 (12:59):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (13:00):
How do you feel?
How are you feeling afterreading that out loud?
SPEAKER_03 (13:03):
Well, obviously, my feelings pour out because I can
recall the emotions that I havebeen through.
Right.
However, the the biggest one isreally to have hope.
And how friendships reallyrescued me.
(13:24):
So amongst the storm, there wereso many people that I had
planted seeds without everthinking that I was going to get
anything in kind.
Little by little they did helpme.
Which uh what would appear likeum silly little things but that
(13:48):
were extremely meaningful to me.
Even uh I it changed myperception on automated messages
that people receive on theinternet, and so many times
people think there's um, well,when you're alone, they're not.
So it is uh moving, but I I'm inanother season, like I
(14:12):
mentioned.
SPEAKER_00 (14:13):
Yeah, wow, I love that.
Thank you for sharing that withus.
Guys, I want to take it back alittle bit before your accident
and before life took thisunexpected turn.
Can you tell us what life lookedlike during that season for you?
SPEAKER_03 (14:28):
Yes, so I did not acknowledge that I was living um
a lonely marriage, an alonemarriage with many difficulties,
that I gave chances and chances,and sometimes um we are raised
in a way that um we want to givechances.
Where chances are not meritedbecause we need to keep in mind
(14:52):
that the first person that weneed to love is our ourselves,
of course, God, but ourselves.
SPEAKER_01 (15:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (15:00):
And we keep, like you mentioned, our health and be
in charge of that.
And sometimes the most healthything that you can do is letting
go.
Assessing the situation reallyin a way that um it what is uh
(15:23):
the best um scenario for you,regardless.
And uh sometimes I think uh welive in this framework of
expectations that we need toprovide other people, and uh we
get settled, we are comfortable,and we're staying that just
because it's expected from us,and some situations should not
(15:48):
be like that, and I have met somany people that uh decide to be
settled in um unlovingsituations that uh can turn
catastrophic.
So thankfully I'm alive and wellnow completely recovered my
health, and um yeah, it's just areflection that I would like for
(16:13):
everybody to take home and seehow's your life and how do you
want your life to be.
SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you for sharing that.
It sounds like you know, thatyou were incredibly active, you
were serving others, buildingyour career, staying constantly
busy, but there is alsoemotional loneliness loneliness
in your marriage, and that isdefinitely heavy to deal with.
(16:42):
And you also, when you werewriting your essay, you wrote
something I felt that was verypowerful, and you said activity
became your shield andachievement became your
anesthesia, and that's powerful,yet it's also something that's
reflective of a lot of peoplewhen they have they stay busy to
(17:04):
avoid the deeper pain thatexists, right?
Can you tell us what that meantfor you in that moment?
SPEAKER_01 (17:13):
Like, what did you mean by that?
SPEAKER_03 (17:16):
Yes, I am a people person.
SPEAKER_01 (17:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (17:20):
People usually tell me you're sweet and this and
that, and uh I love to be aroundpeople that uh fits my energy.
And uh, if I couldn't have umthe emotions at home, um I I
decided, well, I'm I'm going toget them anyway because I'm
always friendly and I makefriends easily.
(17:42):
Through volunteering, I wouldmeet a ton of people and through
my work as well, and theyusually turn into friendships,
long-term friendships.
So I have uh were friendsliterally all over the world,
yeah.
Which was mentioned in my books.
And it it felt uh obviously muchless lonely.
(18:02):
I can recall now how activitiesof my choice, for instance,
certain movies or ballet operaand so on, what I really like, I
enjoy it with my friends.
I would buy them tickets.
Um so with my partner instead,we would uh he would only go to
(18:24):
activities that I paid for thathe liked.
So at the moment, you don'trealize that it's like you don't
see the full picture how you'resurviving, you're in survival
mode, which like uh wave.
And even though you do try tobetter your relationship and you
(18:45):
do talk to a psychologist andbring exercises home and the
person ignores them, then youstill try to have a normal life
and you normalize it with otheractivities.
But at some point, I mean itreally becomes clear because if
you are um sick, if you are inneed of your partner's support,
(19:11):
you know, people are not gonnacome to your house to feed you
if you cannot get out of bed.
Although there's you know,there's some people that do
carry through church meals andstuff.
But to the extent that I wasill, I really needed my partner
to pick up.
Absolutely.
(19:31):
And um at that point, I I thinkuh you repeat your vows in your
head and you realize howextremely neglected you are when
you are not even offered water.
SPEAKER_01 (19:48):
Shame on that man, shame on him.
SPEAKER_00 (19:51):
I'm so sorry that you have to go through those
that type of experience, and noone should have to experience
that.
Not at your highest high, yourlowest low, or whatever part of
life.
Like you make a vow, you stickto it.
Even if you choose not to honorthe vow fully, you stick to it.
This is a person that's been byyour side.
(20:12):
So I do want to acknowledge thatI'm terribly sorry that that was
your experience.
And you seem like such a loving,beautiful person.
And I feel like so many peoplealso, you know, find themselves
in a lonely or difficultsituation, and they do tend to
(20:32):
go find what they're looking forhourly.
And that's when you know thatthe relationship is definitely
walking on eggshells.
There's a hazard and needs to bechecked out.
But I want to kind of continueto go into that aspect that
you're saying, like even whenyou needed the basic needs,
water.
I want you to take us back tothe day of the accident.
(20:54):
You described your car spinning720 degrees across four lanes of
traffic.
That must have been incrediblyterrifying.
Do you remember in that moment,did you have the police or the
ambulance contact your husbandat the time?
Do you remember in that momentthat he ever care?
Did he ever show up or or hedidn't care at all?
(21:18):
Was he completely checked outand you just realized in that
moment that like it was worsethan what it was?
Or what do you what do youremember about that moment of
your life?
SPEAKER_03 (21:31):
It's amazing how those events really transformed
your life, and you remember likein a slow motion, everything.
You can retell the story littleby little.
I do remember how I was veryhappy and I was approaching the
corner and uh very aware ofbeing a realtor, I cannot have
(21:53):
even one single ticket, and Ijust have time to say that I
assume.
Me was a man, that man is notgoing to boom.
Meaning I was gonna say stop andthen boom.
SPEAKER_01 (22:09):
It happened, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:11):
The accent happened or the the crash happened, it's
not an accident.
She find liable, but I I justdidn't want to go through the
whole uh ordeal, which couldmake me more sick.
So all those movements and so onand going back and forth and uh
and all the the people that werebehind me who were terrified of
(22:34):
how they could have beeninvolved in the collision and
how extremely upset they werebecause they also witnessed what
had happened and veryresponsible person who
completely missed a stop sign.
She just had gotten her driver'slicense.
When it happened, I smelled gas,so the the sensation was that
(22:57):
the car was gonna explode aswell.
I don't know how I managed toget out.
And then people started helpingme and I was shaking in shock
and also hurt.
And they put me, it was a rainyday and they put me on the grass
so I got all wet.
(23:19):
He was cold and uh he came tothe scene but he was pretty
adamant about uh me having anambulance that he cared more
about the money of the doctorrather than me being safe being
taken care to a hospital in anambulance after such a very
(23:44):
strong collision.
So that just gives you areflection of uh which I I got
pretty well afterwards um in theproceedings where he has told
publicly that he married me formoney.
Yeah.
Basically to be a slave in hisstate and take care of
(24:07):
everything, meanwhile hetraveled and uh produced at the
same time, make money so that itwouldn't be just uh his
earnings.
Um it's pretty hard when yourealize that a person is capable
to say that they never lovedyou, that they marry with you
(24:27):
because of money, and then aftermore than 10 years of marriage,
that they want to annul amarriage.
And how can you annul all thedifferent things that happened
in all that time?
You can't you deny that I soldum his parents' home, and you
(24:48):
can't deny that I improved thestate, and you can't deny so
many things, 10 years or so ofthat I did.
And for um his his deceasedsister and so on, there's so
many things that I did that Icontributed to the home.
You cannot deny that, so there'sno way to annul a 10-year
(25:09):
marriage, give me a break.
But that's how you reallyinternalize the the point in
which a person really did notlove you at all, at all.
There might have been signalshere and there, and of course a
neglect is one of them, andemotional abuse.
(25:31):
But uh was uh the person, whichby the way has me still on
Facebook showing my face as PR.
SPEAKER_01 (25:40):
No.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (25:45):
Yeah, that's horrible because I asked Meta,
please take it down.
Right.
And they haven't.
So there's um a chat thatperhaps some people need to have
about the narcissism, which is abig topic, and how they just
produce an image for otherpeople.
And that's what I was.
(26:06):
I was just an image.
Unfortunately, I didn't realizethat for such a long time, and
he literally wasted, you know,more than a decade of my life
that I could have had perhapssomebody else, or or just be by
myself because I was reallyhappy before getting married.
I was living by the beach, youknow.
I thought I was never gonnamarry again.
(26:30):
Then, you know, there's thissort of characters who totally
portray um like an actor, youknow, a certain person who is
doesn't really exist.
It's just to convince you into arelationship, and then little by
little the layers of the onionstart uh getting discovered.
(26:53):
Yeah.
But thankfully I did, and ittook uh quite a lot, um uh a
very difficult episode, but uh Idid, and I was able to get out
alive, which I'm appreciativeof.
Yes, recover.
SPEAKER_00 (27:10):
I love that.
Wow, you have been through alot, um, Chris.
I you know, it really breaks myheart to hear the fact that you
were married to someone for over10 years, and instead of the
first thought coming to mind isto get you medical help that
they question the cost of theambulance.
And that's obviously a red flag.
(27:32):
But to go on to say, like, ifnot surviving the accident
wasn't enough, that's somethingto rejoice.
You know, this is where thehealth challenges uh begin to
escalate.
Like you experienced then afterthat you said you were having
seizures and memory loss andneurological complications, and
(27:52):
at the same time, you weredepending on the person that you
made these vows to to comethrough and to step up, and they
failed you.
They didn't, and not only didthey fail you, but they they
left you in the midst of ahealth crisis.
Like I'm so sorry that you wentthrough that.
(28:13):
I mean, somebody's listeningtoday is probably they may
relate to your story.
I wanna know was the mostdifficult part of navigating
this new medical journey likethe heartbreak and not having
someone to rely on while dealingwith that?
Or was it well I mean, I feellike I'm answering the question,
(28:35):
but you're gonna tell us thereal answer because in the midst
of that, then what happened?
He kicks you out of the house,you have no place to go, or what
was that transition looking likefor you?
Because I know you were sayingyou were dealing with
homelessness, he wouldn't feedor supply you with necessities.
SPEAKER_03 (28:54):
I was hospitalized when I became paraplegic and um
I suffered physical abuse at thehospital.
Unfortunately, the nurses I wason camera the whole time, and
sometimes I had to remind him,you're on camera, and then he
would say, shoot, and then hewill re retrieve.
(29:14):
But he had control of my cellphone, and there were things
that happened at the hospitalthat were terrible.
Thankfully, the hospital did uhcall for a follow-up at um at
that point of when I just cameback.
He tried to play hero at thehospital, meanwhile denying
access to pain managementdoctors and so on.
(29:36):
And unfortunately, somethingvery common that happens in
hospitals is they listened tothe man in the room.
And they did.
And I had no voice.
So the doctors would go away,and um and so many things
happened there.
As soon as we got into the carto return home, I knew I was in
(29:56):
deep trouble.
He went immediately upstairs anduh completely, you know, was not
even talking to me afterplaying, you know, the good
husband in the hospital,meanwhile preventing care.
So the hospital was the one whocalled the police.
Okay.
And um I had just one decisionto make, I had to leave because
(30:22):
otherwise I would not survivewithout uh anybody carrying
water for me or meals or youknow continuing my care.
I would not survive with asituation that already escalated
a lot in the hospital.
If he was able with cameras tobe physically abusive, you can
(30:42):
imagine what could have happenedat home.
Right.
So I saw myself very close topassing.
There was a settlement pendingin which I had put him as
beneficiary.
Unknowingly that um he mightperhaps do something for me to
(31:05):
go faster.
So the the police really didn'tgive me a whole lot of choices
after having helped umorganizations that help women.
SPEAKER_01 (31:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (31:19):
It was no bad for me.
No.
I got one phone call andthankfully one phone call made
it when my friend heard me cryand ask for shelter.
She said, Yes, come.
Come.
Yeah.
And they dropped me off thereand I had no shoes.
I was in pyjamas, no luggage,nothing.
(31:43):
Wow.
What's the most difficult part?
Well realizing what um the thefacade you have had at home.
The the whole set of lies andhow how I I was unable to be
myself the stronger person thatI was, but my mind was making a
(32:10):
rewind of all that time and howthere were so many things that
had happened that had beentolerated.
It was just uh incredible howthe mind can go backwards and
start connecting the dots.
Right.
(32:31):
Which I had not done before.
So I was really weak mentally.
Um I felt completely apart.
I don't think if those friendswould not have sheltered me, I
didn't feel capable of renting ahome, being a realtor, paying a
um a cable bill, arranging foran electricity bill, and things
(32:52):
like that.
I felt the lack of affection wasso immense, and it's like it was
a tsunami of how seeing allthose emotions come together
that I didn't have affection,true affection from my
significant other for more thana decade.
SPEAKER_01 (33:13):
Wow.
SPEAKER_03 (33:14):
And just having that process going through my mind,
how it literally opened it up,and I I just realized, oh my
god, and I have to heal andstart to reveal myself and uh
make the best of this situationand um figure out, you know, and
(33:35):
you want to rest.
You're so tired.
You want to rest, but there's notime to rest.
You have to figure out what's init's there, and then you feel a
lot of pressure from differentparties.
Oh, you have to divorce, youhave to this, you have to that,
you have to that, I say, wheredo I start?
I'm at South already, justmanaging the feelings.
SPEAKER_00 (33:58):
Yeah, you're feeling depleted with your health, your
marriage is falling completelyapart, the person that you
trusted has now abandoned you.
You right had this facade forover a decade of his life, and
you're trying to put your lifeback together after this
traumatic accident in the midstof it all.
And it's so interesting becauseI'm sure somebody's listening
(34:18):
today and they're carrying afacade in their life and
pretending as if everything isgoing okay at home, and they're
finding out, you know, how toreceive outside happiness or joy
or peace.
But that's not that answer ifyou can't.
When things get tough, whenthings get hard, you can't rely
(34:41):
on that person.
If that person is so far gonethat they that even in the midst
of argument or conflict, becausethat's natural, it will happen
if you are with someone for along time because we are human,
but you're talking about a wholenother layer of a person that
deserves zero bit of empathy forme.
(35:01):
I know that.
And has I don't even know whohis parents are, but I just feel
so incredibly sad because in themidst of you trying to pull
yourself together and out you'redealing with so much, and you're
right, you're trying to get restand you're trying to find
yourself, and it's it's a lot.
I mean, that kind of abandonmentduring illness can just not only
(35:22):
be deeply painful, but it'sisolating and you're trying to
pull it together.
You mentioned so many differentthings during that point of like
homelessness and just livingbetween friends' homes and the
friends opening the door foryou.
You wrote that you know you weresaying that sometimes the
darkest chapters of your lifereveal the kindness of others.
(35:45):
And something that you mentionedearly on in this podcast was
that you've always planted theseseeds, right?
And you never imagined that youwould need to kind of reap what
this maybe the rewards or thefruit that the seeds that you
planted would yield.
But I honestly think that I'mhappy that your friends came
(36:07):
through, but you are alwaysgiving to others.
When you reached that point,that felt like a breaking point
for you.
You were tired, you wereexhausted, you're living between
homes.
What helped you surviveemotionally during that time?
SPEAKER_03 (36:20):
A book, I would have to say, in addition to seeing
the kindness of my friends, thefew friends, uh, because there
were some that completely shiedaway.
It was they they could not facethe situation.
People who had promised me tohelp me when the time came shied
away, but they were the goodfriends.
(36:42):
And um, one of these goodfriends gave me a beautiful book
called Hope, and it's by PopeFrancis, it's a compilation of
articles.
And when I saw the book and I Iwould read the four words
H-O-P-E, and I was out of hope.
(37:03):
Like, how do I even start?
I don't have the physicalcapability to do my job anymore.
I don't have the resources.
How do I find hope?
And however, that book I I tookit to heart and read article
after article, and it juststarted to build a little, a
(37:28):
little, it ignited a little bitof light.
And I have studied the art ofliving from Seneca and Aristotle
and Plato for many years, eighttimes that I was not well.
And um it started to kick in tokind of that spark that was
(37:50):
offering me that book calledHope.
It just ignited a flame thatkept growing a little bit, and
like I said, it's like littlemiracles happen every day.
Yes.
My life started from the friendwho gave me shelter, the friend
(38:11):
who gave me clothes.
I was able to get my car, therewas another friend who helped me
get a few things, and then Itook the big leap of going
across states and driving forthe first time by myself many
miles to get away from it all.
So I moved out of state and I Ididn't think I was gonna be
(38:33):
capable.
Four days it took, and I visiteduh Graceland, the house of uh
Elvis Presley, because I hadwhen I was uh very, very sick, I
was listening to his gospelalbum, which I encourage
everybody to listen.
And the words were just souplifting, so uplifting, and
(38:58):
prayer kept me going, and I feltaccompanied during that trip.
I felt I was not alone.
Somehow somebody was guardingme, and I was able to stay awake
for hours driving until Ireached my destination to
(39:18):
another person's charity to havea bed on a trunk bed, can't you
imagine?
Wow.
And and this just happened likethat.
There were, you know, a set ofcoincidences in which I would
find another friend that gave mea way to have a temporary job
(39:40):
and earn a little bit of money,just enough to buy food, just
enough for the next step of thejourney, just enough to have the
legality to then get a place,just enough and and so on.
It it was a sense of wonder lostall the time, how um God was
(40:04):
putting a little another stoneand I would ask, just show me
the way, guide me, show me theway, and another stone would be
there to jump into that one, andthen I was safe again and so I
cannot tell you how manydifferent ways I have obtained
food from people, many acts ofmercy, incredible kindness.
(40:32):
So my way to give back is thatpromise that I gave to God, to
Bride.
Yeah, what he gives, he hasgiven me knowledge that I did
not know was gonna have thispurpose, to teach longevity to
people.
And as my doctor said, Oh mygod, you're the perfect example
(40:56):
of um to teach longevity becauseyou have overcome how much uh
how many diseases and conditionsand are healthy now that it's
quite incredible, and I can joinwhat is the research I've done
on the art of living with themedical research, with my own
(41:20):
conditions having overcome them,and then all the friendships
that I purposely did with somany seniors because I wanted to
learn from their wisdom.
So I surrounded myself in thelast 15 years with a lot of
autogenarians, and they wouldalways be so generous in their
(41:43):
knowledge on how to live a goodlife, a healthy and productive
life, that when I decided, wellGod, what's gonna be my first
book?
It had to be the fountain ofyouth, the power to a health and
relief.
SPEAKER_00 (41:59):
Let's get into that.
This is I feel like the momentwhere your story shifted from
survival into purpose.
And like you said, the doctorsare saying you're a great
example of what longevity lookslike.
And then you started usingwriting as a healing.
Because as we do wrap up, I dowant to talk about your book.
So your book, The Fountain ofYouth, The Power of Healthy and
Well-Lived Life, came out ofthis experience.
(42:23):
Can you tell us?
I felt like writing cansometimes become a bridge
between pain and transformation.
How did writing help you heal?
And tell us more about thatbook.
SPEAKER_03 (42:34):
Well, journaling is a great tool for meditation and
reflection.
As uh those thoughts of uhrewinding my life in this
relationship came about, theywere so overwhelming that I
decided I was gonna start uhbrightening them, brightening
(42:56):
the feelings to understand themmore.
And uh I was pretty sure I wasgoing to forget everything that
was pouring into my brain.
So I, as a meditation practice,I started journaling as they
would come.
And I'm talking about, you know,in the middle of the night that
(43:18):
they were coming, I would sleepthree hours and then the
thoughts would come, and then Iwould I would sleep with a
notepad next to me and a penready, and sometimes I had my
eyes open, sometimes I didn't.
And amazingly enough, when youwould see the notepad in the
morning, the lines werecompletely straight, and they
(43:41):
had perfect handwriting, and Icould uh read back what I had uh
written.
So it related all the differentexperiences throughout many
years and many things, so thenit made sense on uh what I had
experienced so I could reflect.
When I read it in the morning,okay, then if you add to that
(44:04):
this and that and that, then youknow it just uh completes the
story.
So it's a tremendous tool, andthat's what we have to have.
Uh kind of resources, whetherit's gratitude or breathing, or
journaling, or taking a hotshower.
And so we build resources tobuild our resilience.
(44:29):
And I think that was uh uh agreat uh method that I use at
that uh moment in time to beable to survive what I was
living.
SPEAKER_00 (44:41):
I love that.
Wow, that is so beautiful, andso it's amazing how you've
rebuilt your work, your purpose,and your mission into your book.
And today looks very different,obviously, than it did before
that accident.
I want to know where you are inyour life today.
Where is the book available at?
Where can people find it?
SPEAKER_03 (45:02):
Well, I brought the fountain of youth, the power to
a healthy and well-lived lifeout of the medical research and
the experience I have lived andall the interviews I have made
to autogenarians.
It's a gift to humanity so thatpeople can reach at least 80
years old, because it's a guideof daily habits on how to live a
(45:27):
purposeful life.
The younger a person is, themore they can really realize
what's their career, theirpurpose, and so on.
So it has what I call the 11keys for a personal journey of
transformation to go intowell-being and living uh to be
(45:48):
an autogenarian.
It's available on Amazon andIngram.
And uh it's this is thehardcover uh because it's a
daily habit guide, it's really abook that should be on our
nightstand because it providessome information on, for
(46:08):
instance, if you need to pickyourself up.
It has affirmations, it hasexercises to how to practice
gratitude, it has uh prayer, andit has uh resilience
methodology, and it talks of itgives a ton of tricks of how
people have reached that age.
In a complex manner, because Ididn't want it to be a huge
(46:33):
book.
It's uh like a two-hour read.
But the idea is not to discardthe book, is to have it just
next to your bed.
So if I'm done, what do I do?
Pick up your book on this page,and then you're gonna make an
affirmation in front of themirror, and then you're gonna
feel better and be ready to taketheir work.
SPEAKER_01 (46:53):
I know that's right.
SPEAKER_03 (46:57):
But I I decided to keep going.
This is uh let's say like from16 years old on.
And because of all the differentfriends that came to the rescue
and an experience that I hadwith a child, and I was shy
myself, believe it or not.
I brought this children's bookcalled I Was Shy.
SPEAKER_01 (47:20):
I love that.
SPEAKER_03 (47:22):
It's a well-being book too, but for for kids,
because it builds theirresilience and it encourages
kids to get out of their shell,to build friends, because
friends are a treasure, becausethey rescue you when you do not
have a family.
So that's the message of thisbook to hopefully reach from
(47:48):
kids on.
Get out of your uh comfort zoneand start making friends because
they're totally worth it.
Yes.
You never know when they'regonna be there for you.
It's it's not the purpose, butyou do not have to be alone in
this life.
You can just have friends, goodfriends.
(48:09):
And a friend is just around thecorner.
So it's resilience for kids,it's great for teachers or for
anybody who has a quiet child intheir life and want to encourage
them to get out and start makingfriends.
I was shy, it's also availableon Amazon and Ingram.
SPEAKER_00 (48:31):
I love that.
Thank you so, so much.
I'll definitely add that to ourshow notes below.
As we wrap up, my last questionfor you is looking back at
everything you went throughillness, loss, homelessness.
What do you truly think uhresilience means to you now?
SPEAKER_03 (48:51):
Well, resilience, as you know, is the ability to
thrive despite the challengesthat one might face.
And everybody faces challenges.
One way or another, they can beof different dimensions.
To me, it means once more thatuh you can truly be resilient
(49:15):
regardless of what happens, andsometimes we have to remind
ourselves that on a daily basisbecause um I still, you know,
need to provide for myself fromsome time ago forward, and um it
takes uh a new mindset to reallybe by yourself and um just uh
(49:40):
have that confidence every day.
So I don't think you're everdone with it.
You have to practice it andcontinue trying to thrive.
So um just seek uh the resourcesout.
Stoicism is a great philosophyto follow.
And to me, I mean if uh themessage of hope gets to anyone,
(50:06):
please do not give up.
Don't give up.
When you have a bad moment,remember it's just that moment
in time, and there's gonna be anew sunshine.
So try to do one of theactivities that I recommend in
the book, but uh you can uhsearch for your resources as
(50:29):
well.
It doesn't have to benecessarily my book, although I
recommend it, because itsummarizes you know what to do
about it and the techniques.
I know that uh there's hardconversations when people are
feeling down, they can dosomething that cannot be
remedied.
The S-word, but I don't like tomention it.
(50:49):
And many times people feel sodown that they're very close to
getting it done.
I would encourage you to call agood friend, listen to music,
take a shower, do something todistract you from that thought
that is just momentary.
Believe me, momentary.
(51:11):
So there's gonna be another day.
And if you feel so so bad, uhplease remember there's other
people that are having it muchworse than you.
If my life, please feel free touse it if you think my life was
so bad as a reminder that it canget really tough.
(51:32):
I know for sure other people arein worse circumstances, and to
me, I myself as reminded of thatmany times, and then I pick
myself up again and again.
SPEAKER_01 (51:46):
So that's Grace.
SPEAKER_03 (51:49):
I believe in the positive movement.
It's not uh it's not shallow, itcan come from your core values.
Try to build upon it and startemploying the resources and
people around you.
Okay dokie, because togetherwe're better.
SPEAKER_00 (52:07):
Together we're better, Miss Grace Aquino.
Your story reminds us that ofsomething incredibly powerful,
and sometimes life dismantlesthe structures we build.
But it's not to destroy us, butto rebuild us to be deeper and
our life to be more meaningful.
Your journey shows us thatresilience is not about
(52:30):
pretending you're strong.
It's about choosing to riseagain and again, even when
everything has been strippedaway.
It could be your health, thatcould be your husband, that can
be your job, it could be yoursanity for a moment.
But you're right, we're bettertogether and we're better here
on this side of the earth.
So if you're ever thinking ofthat S word, just know that this
(52:54):
too will pass and that you gotit in you, and things will get
better.
You just gotta keep going.
And I want to say again, yourjourney is a reminder that pain
does not erase purpose, thateven in the hardest seasons,
hope still can and will takeroot.
Everybody, this is theResilience Fouls Podcast
(53:16):
Unlocked.
Thank you so much for listeningtoday.
If this story resonated withyou, please share this episode
with someone who needsencouragement today.
And remember that resilienceisn't about never falling.
It's about finding the courageto rise again, even when you do.
I'm your host, Carrie Bernunts,and please check the show notes.
Support Grace and her book.
(53:38):
Leave it as a bedside mannerread.
However, if you don't see it foryourself, see it for a friend.
Check it out on Amazon.
It has been great.
Thank you so much.
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