Creative Sobriety with Kristen Bear

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In this episode of The Sober Butterfly Podcast, Nadine sits down with Kristen Bear, founder of Creative Sobriety, for a powerful conversation about recovery, self-expression, and the creative rebirth that often follows getting sober.

Kristen opens up about her journey from the chaotic party scenes of LA and NYC to a spiritual awakening in February 2020 that marked the start of her alcohol-free life. She shares how the lockdown became a sacred period for healing—rediscovering hobbies, reconnecting with nature, and expressing herself through writing and creativity.

Together, Nadine and Kristen explore what it means to pursue a creative life in sobriety, moving beyond traditional recovery narratives, and empowering women to live authentically. Kristen also talks about her upcoming memoir, building her shipping-container tiny home, and the mission behind Creative Sobriety. A fun rapid-fire Q&A closes the episode with inspiration for anyone embracing a sober-curious or alcohol-free lifestyle.

Follow Kristen:
📸 Instagram: @creativesobriety
📝 Substack: https://kristenbear.substack.com/

Resources Mentioned 

Book:  Women Who Run With Wolves 

Medium Article: Heroes of The Addiction Crisis: How Kristen Bear of Creative Sobriety Is Helping To Battle One of Our Most Serious Epidemics 

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📚 Audible – Get lost in a new book (or re-listen to your fave self-improvement reads). Try Audible FREE for 30 days and get a free audiobook with your trial.

https://www.audible.com/ep/creator?source_code=PDTGBPD060314004R&irclickid=XazzdNSVsxyKWoq11KRoTXGDUksyjuXPtRPo2w0&irgwc=1

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Episode Transcript

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (00:00):
Hello, beautiful butterflies.
Welcome back to the SoberButterfly Podcast.
I am your host, Nadine, andtoday feels like a really
special full circle momentbecause this conversation is
kind of like a part two.
Last week I had the honor ofbeing on the Creative Sobriety

(00:22):
Podcast with the incredibleKristin Bear, if you don't
already know Kristen, she's abig deal.
Although she will try to denythat Q Quip.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (00:36):
so Kristen,, you're a big deal in
the sober community.
You and I connected on,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (00:40):
that.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (00:41):
I'm to, I'm announcing it
officially.
You are a big deal in the sobercommunity.
You're a big deal in life,

the-sober-butterfly_4_1 (00:48):
kristen in my opinion, has this really
rare gift where she makessobriety feel expansive,
intentional, empowering, anddeeply creative.
Hence the name CreativeSobriety.
We also talk about how creativesobriety started as a secret
finsta that Kristen used tostalk other sober recovery pages

(01:11):
and I could relate to that as Istarted this platform as a way
to hold myself accountable andalso like find.
Representation of cool, soberpeople because yeah, I didn't
know any cool sober people inreal life and neither did
Kristen.
So you look for things likethat.
And Instagram was the tool thatwe both used.

(01:32):
One of my favorite moments fromthis episode is where she shares
the powerful spiritual momentshe had back in February of
2020.
That completely shiftedeverything and how she used, the
quiet of lockdown of COVID too.
Give her space to rebuild herlife and create something
beautiful from the inside out.

(01:53):
So if you're looking forinspiration or you're curious
about unlocking your creativityin sobriety, or if you just need
like a reminder that your storymatters and that your gifts
deserves space, thisconversation is for you.
Alright, let's get into it.
Here is my conversation withKristen Bear from Creative
Sobriety.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (02:16):
so for folks who may not know you
can you share a little bitabout.
You know who you are and take usback to the beginning.
Tell us about your life beforegetting sober.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (02:27):
Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you.
I grew up in East Tennessee inlike a pretty small town and
from a really young age I knewthat I wanted to be.
A creative person.
I knew I wanted to go and livein big cities and see the world
and do cool things that I sawonly on tv.
You know, like I just had hugelust for life that wasn't

(02:48):
necessarily shared with a lot ofthe people I grew up with.
And so I just was itching to getout into the world, like from a
pretty young age.
And so I did I ended up movingto LA when I was 18 years old.
And, that was like a crazyexperience.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I moved there with one of myreally good friends and, we just

(03:09):
kind of ended up getting intoall sorts of trouble.
But I guess that's probably whenI started drinking because I
didn't really drink in highschool.
I was very much like.
A good girl.
I was a preacher's granddaughterand I was on the student council
and I was, on the dance team andgot good grades and all this
stuff, I lived my life.
Just with the intention of notgetting in trouble and not

(03:30):
disappointing people And so bythe time I was an adult and I
was out on my own, I hate tokind of bring up that like,
cliche of rebelling against allof that stuff, but I do think in
a way I was determined to provethat the world isn't bad and you
can go and have experiences andno one's gonna get hurt.
And the truth is that.
Some of that is definitely true,but then there, there is some,

(03:54):
kind of dangerous stuff outthere.
And being 18 in LA I definitelyput, was putting myself in kind
of like precarious situations.
But a real turning point for mewas actually getting into a
relationship with someone when Iwas 18 in LA became very abusive
to me.
I had this, three years ofpretty traumatic experience, 18

(04:17):
to 21.
then when I got out of that, Iwent directly into the party
scene, like, my twenties,especially my early twenties.
It was just, every single nightout with friends.
I started bartending and workingin restaurants and I just loved
it.
I loved like, how free it feltto just you know, wake up at

(04:38):
noon and go to work and makesome cash and then go out and
blow it all.
So I definitely did that and Idon't think I realized.
At the time, I certainly didn'trealize at the time I was using
alcohol as a, sort of a crutchfor a lot of different things.
I had a tremendous amount ofshame from the experience I had,

(05:01):
when I was younger that I didn'ttell anyone about.
So I was carrying all that stuffwith me, and I didn't want
anyone to know, because at thatage you internalize that as it's
something bad about you, it's.
Something to be ashamed ofsomething almost dirty.
so I think I drank, to excessbecause I could kind of quiet
that, little voice in my headthat was constantly saying like,

(05:24):
oh, these terrible thingshappened and people are gonna
know and not gonna like youanymore.
And so that was a very realthing.
But at the same time I was likekeeping up with.
friends, I mean I, yeah, I wasblacking out and doing really
stupid shit, but so waseverybody else.
And so it was kind of easy to belike, oh, that's just Kristen
being crazy and we had a crazynight.

(05:46):
You know how it goes.
And so I definitely.
Kind of skated through my earlytwenties like that.
And then when I was about 25, Istarted working as a model.
I got scouted by someone.
And I ended up moving to Chicagofor six months and then to New
York.
And I was in New York for threeyears.

(06:08):
And, I was able to really like,control my drinking because when
that opportunity came my way.
I realized that it was a hugeopportunity.
It was something that I hadalways wanted.
I always wanted to live in NewYork.
I'd always wanted to be in, theentertainment industry and all
those things.
And so I really took itseriously.
I trained, you know, like anOlympic athlete to get to that
spot, and when I was there Itook it very seriously.

(06:31):
But at the same time, like whenthings would go wrong in my life
or I would, run intodisappointments or relationship
issues.
Alcohol was just always thething like, and you know how it
is in New York too, it becamevery easy living on my own there
to like slide into a bar at PMRight.

(06:51):
And just kind of unnoticed andnext thing I'm out to dinner
like seven drinks in andstumbling home

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (06:59):
Yep.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (07:00):
God knows what else.

the-sober-butterfly_4_1 (07:02):
Perfect ecosystem for that chaos to
thrive.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (07:06):
you can really be invisible if you
want.
You can go incognito.
You can almost feel like you'replaying a character in a movie.
I certainly did that a lot.
I'm very in my head a lot, andso I would just, romanticize
those things too, because.
I also very much bought into thestory that's sold specifically

(07:26):
to women of like, alcohol isglamorous.
A glass of champagne in yourhand means success.
And this is what we equate tocelebration and sophistication.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (07:37):
of life, right?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (07:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I was just trying to play thepart, I thought that was just
kind of the way you did it.
I didn't have a lot of people, Iwould say I didn't have anybody
really in my life, women showingme like, you don't have to do it
like this.
Yeah.
So.
I left New York.
I ended up going back to LA fora couple of years studying
acting and things were goingokay there for a while.

(08:00):
But I was working at arestaurant again for the first
time in a while while I wastaking classes, started going
out with those people and,getting into the whole like,
natural wine scene that I justcompletely, I justified my
drinking of like, well, drinkingthis natural wine from France
that no one knows about.
Like, I can't.

(08:21):
I can't have a problem.
Yeah.
And yeah, 2019, my year, my, mylife started sort of crashing
out.
My mental health plummeted.
I was very disappointed in my.
Career, like nothing washappening.
I wasn't looking my, like myselfor feeling like myself.
I was getting massive anxiety,insomnia, like you name it.

(08:42):
My brain was starting to kind ofturn against me and I had a
horrible breakup at the end ofthat year and ended up coming
back to Tennessee and yeah,right before.
COVID I had gone to Italy.
This is like the last, this isthe last stretch here.
Okay.
So I moved back from LA toTennessee and then on a, last

(09:03):
ditch effort to run away from mylife completely and avoid my
problems and avoid facingmyself.
I decide I'm gonna move to.
Milan and I had some friendsthere.
I go over there and it's just sodepressing.
I am, I'm drinking, I'm walkingthe streets, smoking cigarettes,
like what in the actual doingwith my life?

(09:25):
And there were starting to bethese rumblings of COVID.
So.
My dad was like, you, I thinkyou should come back.
I'm like, yeah, I think I shouldcome back.
So come back to the States aftera few depressing weeks later.
I woke up on February 26th,2020, and I just had I can only

(09:45):
describe as like a spiritual.
Epiphany, a spiritual downloadwas this kind of booming voice
in my head that just said,you're done.
You're done.
Honestly, I took those words,you are done to basically be
kind of an ultimatum.
It was like you can eithercontinue on as you've been
living your life, drinking,smoking, partying, just fucking

(10:06):
off in general or.
Or you can have a chance tobecome everything you were
created to become.
And I was just like.
Okay.
I choose that.
I choose that.
I choose that.
I have to choose that.
And so yeah, so that started mysober journey.
drank again.
And I went on an a quest to justfigure out how to talk about

(10:32):
this in a way that would helpwomen because.
That's what I needed.
I went on a quest to find a wayto speak to women in a voice
that would've maybe helped mesooner realize what was
happening in my life.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (10:43):
Wow.
Thank you for sharing all ofthat.
So beautiful.
Very relatable, you mentionedthis idea of like a spiritual
awakening, which I think I had asimilar situation where.
Maybe I had more than oneawakening, but there's a saying,
it's like first God, or you canfill it in with whatever higher
power or whatever belief.
But first God whispers and thenhe yells.

(11:05):
So my question for you, Kristen,is were there any whispers along
the way, or was it just in thatmoment when you returned home at
the start of COVID in 2020 towhere you were like, okay,
something has got to give.
Or beforehand were youquestioning your relationship
with alcohol and wondering,there may be something here,

kristen-bear_2_11-1 (11:23):
Absolutely.
I mean, looking back I think Iwas struggling with that first
internally for a really longtime.
It would be waking up after anight blacked out, right?
And to see you sent a textmessage that you're like,
really?
Really embarrassed

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (11:40):
right?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (11:41):
or really regret or, waking up.
I mean, look, especially in myearly twenties, waking up at
dude's houses, I didn't remembermeeting,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (11:51):
preach

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (11:51):
I like, come on, let's be real.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (11:54):
That was a big part of me getting
sober, truly because I wasscared that I was outta control
and like, I don't know thesemen, like sometimes that was
deal.
So yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (12:06):
Yeah, I think it's like so many times
I was so careless with my body,and I think yeah and that just
creates more shame,

the-sober-butterfly_4_ (12:13):
Correct.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (12:13):
it's like every time I would do
something like that or I wouldact out of character or start a
fight or cause issues in myrelationship, it was just piling
on this shame.
And so shame is.
Steering, you can't see grace,and so you're just like, what?
I have to just push this down.
I have to just like, cover it upwith more something

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (12:36):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (12:37):
I can't live with it.
Like, so, yeah, there were somany whispers, there were so
many whispers.
And then it did start causingproblems like in some of my
relationships, you know, I woulddrink too much at family.
Occasions, and make thingsuncomfortable.
Fight with my mom, who is nowgone and like, I wish I, there
were so many times atThanksgiving, like I just acted
like a complete fucking moron,or, in relationships with my,

(13:01):
previous partners, like timeswhere I would really hurt them
because I would be in one ofthose modes of like.
where the anger comes to theforefront and I snap just be,
I'm blackout, I'm blacked outdrunk, and then all this shame
and all of this past shit iscoming up and it, I take it out
on whoever's closest to me.
Right?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (13:20):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (13:21):
There were plenty of times where I
would think to myself, this isan issue.
This is an issue.
But I don't know.
I really don't know that Iactually knew sobriety was an
option.
Like I just didn't know anybodytalking about it as like
something you could choose.
Right.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (13:36):
Yeah.
Did you know any cool superpeople in your personal life at
the time?
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (13:40):
not.
I did not, and I only did when Imet I moved to la there was a
girl who I worked at the winebar with, and she was also an
actor and she was sober she wasin aa.
And I was questioning mydrinking a lot towards the end
of being in la I was going backto the psychiatrist, like all of

(14:02):
these things, wanting it to beany other answer, right?
Like, oh, clearly I diagnosed mewith something.
Like I just have, bipolar.
Right?
Like we can just put medicationon this.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (14:11):
Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (14:11):
Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_ (14:12):
Precious alcohol.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (14:13):
And trust me, like I needed to be
medicated.
And I have been at differenttimes in my life, but it was
that, it was the booze,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (14:19):
yeah.
Self medicating.
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (14:22):
to night.
That was giving me anxiety,like, come on.
But I remember talking to herafter I had a really bad weekend
with booze and she invited me togo to a meeting and I did.
I went to one AA meeting withher

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (14:35):
Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (14:37):
and I walked outta that meeting and
I was like, oh.
I'm fine.
Like I think the guy that's, Ithink the guy that spoke that
day, and look, I, please let mepreface this, everybody
listening, I have so muchrespect for AA and people who go
and it works for you.
I think it's beautiful, but Idon't think it's for everybody.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (14:56):
it's not.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (14:57):
and I.
and I disagree with so much ofthe dogma attached to it.
But this guy stood up and he waslike, his story for the day was
something like, I had one beerand the next thing you know I'm
given a blowjob in the Walmartparking lot for meth.
And I'm like.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (15:15):
Not relatable,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (15:17):
I didn't, I never did that.
So I guess I don't belong here.
It

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (15:20):
right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (15:20):
like, so yeah, so I didn't, I never
went back to aa,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (15:24):
That's totally fair.
And thank you for sharing thattoo, because I think so often if
we don't see ourselves reflectedin people who are sharing, you
know, their.
Drinking issues or theirsubstance issues we're just
like, oh, it's a free pass.
If it's not the extreme, if it'snot on one end of the spectrum,
then I am, I'm good.
I'm totally fine.
But it is a spectrum likealcohol use disorder.

(15:47):
There's varying degrees andshades in between, and I think
that nuance is really integralthere were periods in my life I
can share that I would bedefined as a full-blown
alcoholic, especially in COVID.
I think it's so wonderful thatyou got sober, actually,
Kristen, right before COVID,because that's when most people,
fell off the wagon or werecompletely off the rails, myself
included, I was just like losingmy mind, drinking whenever I

(16:10):
felt like it, because obviouslythe world was shut down and I
felt like it gave me apermission slip to do whatever I
wanted and what I wanted to dowas drink.
So yeah, I love that you gotsober before that point in time.
You also mentioned that when youwere really focused on modeling
and acting, you took your craftvery seriously.
And so what was your drinkinglike at that point?
Were you able to moderate ormonitor your drinking?

(16:33):
Because I think that also keepspeople kind of stuck or sick,
where it's like, oh, well Idon't have to drink every day.
Like, I'm fine when I'm lockedin.
I don't need a drink.
And that can keep us in thatcycle even longer.
So do you feel like that.
Connects to parts of your story?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (16:48):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think when I was in those sortof like high stakes career
situations, I didn't drink, buthere's the really messed up
thing.
It wasn't really because I needto control my behavior or
anything.
It was I can't afford thecalories,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (17:05):
yep.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (17:05):
I'm.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (17:05):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-20 (17:06):
getting measured at my agency

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (17:07):
Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (17:08):
and I'm obsessed with, how big my
hips are, which is so toxic.
I mean, that's a whole other

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (17:14):
Right, right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-202 (17:14):
right?
That whole thing.
But it was like, oh, it wasn'teven like, I can't drink so.
But instead of alcohol though, Iwould just smoke weed.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (17:23):
Oh yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (17:24):
I wasn't ever really going
completely sober because

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (17:27):
Fair.
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (17:27):
I was smoking weed.
I had a delivery guy in New Yorkthat I could text and he'd show
up at my apartment with abackpack and I'd pick what I
wanted.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (17:35):
Oh my God.
What was the service called?
It was like something flight,like top flight or I used a
service tube back beforemarijuana was legal everywhere.

kristen-bear_2_11-19- (17:43):
something Ease, I think

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (17:44):
Okay.
It was like, so, it was solegit.
It was like you had to bereferred by someone else and
then like if you didn't text thenumber within like a 15 minute
grace period, it was a no go andit was like a whole thing.
I, anyway, we probably used asimilar service.
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (18:00):
I mean, but ultimately, think
about that.
I'm like, just, yeah whateverguy shows

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (18:03):
Oh yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (18:04):
I'm letting him into my apartment,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (18:06):
on in, sir.
Make yourself comfy.
You want something to drink?
Yeah.
That, that is toxic.
I would love to, because like inthe industry, like there's two
particular industries that youwere in at this time where I
feel like.
Alcohol is prevalent orsubstances are prevalent.
One being the restaurantindustry and then the other
being obviously the industryrelated to modeling and acting

(18:27):
and people using that as a wayto either do a job for example,
if you're working in arestaurant, like a lot of people
I know that work in thatindustry, are doing substances
like stimulants to stay upbecause it's such a high
driving, demanding job.
So my question to you is, didanyone ever say, Kristen, like,
I think that you may have anissue, or were you surrounded
around people who were similarin their using or their patterns

(18:50):
of drinking?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (18:52):
Yeah, I think definitely in the
restaurant industry, you'resurrounded by people who are
almost like, proud of beingalcoholics.
Like I'm sure you've seen thatlike.
Yeah, it's like boasting, like,all right, I'm gonna go.
And, it's like people feel likethey've earned getting blackout

(19:12):
drunk after a six hour shift inWest Hollywood.
And honestly it's a crazyenvironment and you have to come
down from that.
And I did not have the healthycoping mechanisms for that.
But definitely in that world itfelt like.
Just totally accepted andencouraged even.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (19:29):
Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (19:30):
and then, I think that I knew, I
think I knew on some level,especially in New York, that it
was not professional or, it wasnot good for me to be at like
industry events and be a mess.
Like I knew that.
But on the flip side of that,there was also this thing, with
models in New York where youhave these club promoters

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (19:52):
Oh yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (19:54):
kind of like model wranglers and your
agents encourage you to go tothese tables and show up and
show face and meet some of theother models and like be spotted
out at these kind of like, itbars and clubs and things like
that.
And so you would go there andit's all free booze and you're
kind of expected to almost playthis role of like, dance on the

(20:14):
table, bottle of

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (20:15):
Yeah, like we're gonna make everyone
look good because we look good.
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (20:19):
yeah.
There was this weird thing and Ihad a lot of great friends in
New York, a lot of cool girlsthat I met there who are so
intelligent and cool and likesmart and all these things.
But then there's so much like,this kind of like model trope
where, it's just, you're kind ofexpected to just be like silent
and like, I don't know.

(20:40):
And

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (20:41):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (20:41):
was really hard for me'cause I never
felt.
Authentic, like being thatcharacter.
So I think it was always alittle bit of a struggle and so
I would drink to get over thekind of weird persona that I
felt like I had to uphold, ifthat makes any sense.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (20:56):
Yes.
Can I objectify you for a secondand say that I think you're
beautiful.
And I cite that or preface whatI'm about to say next.
Because I'm like, does prettyprivilege exist or do you think
pretty privilege exists in therealm of addiction?
Like, do you think that peoplelooked at you and were just
like, oh, Kristen doesn't haveany issues because she's
gorgeous and like she's a modeland she's, an actress and'cause

(21:19):
I feel like that's a real thing,like nobody takes seriously
because you look great.
Even though inside you can becompletely broken or struggling.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (21:28):
A thousand percent.
Oh my God.
Like, whether it was like,stumbling down the street right
in my heels and like, whatever.
And people not looking at yousideways, they're just like, oh,
like, that girl just came fromthat club and da.
If I was somebody else, doingthat, like you would get a
different look.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (21:45):
Right.
Call the police.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (21:47):
I.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (21:48):
Call an ambulance, not okay.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (21:51):
Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (21:52):
yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (21:52):
just acting like a, like being
blackout drunk and acting like araging bitch to somebody at a
bar, you're gonna get a totallydifferent response, right?
So I definitely think thatexists, I think it exists on so
many levels in addictionrecovery, the sobriety world
that.
Look, this thing exists.
It's, it does not discriminate.

(22:13):
It does not care what you looklike or where you're from or how
much money you have.
And so you said before, and Ithink you and I talked about
this on my show, it's like wejust, that's why we need these
stories and we need peopleshowing up and telling their
stories because.
We're gonna hopefully seesomeone we relate to and then it
clicks and then it goes, oh,okay.

(22:34):
Actually, I'm kind of like her,like, maybe I also could get
sober,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (22:38):
Right,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-20 (22:39):
because Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (22:40):
Even if I'm not about to give a BJ in
the parking lot of a Walmartfor, like, I could probably
benefit from still cutting backor quitting drinking.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-202 (22:48):
Right.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (22:49):
I love that.
So, I wanna talk a little bitabout.
What that early, if you can goback,'cause you've been sober
now since 2020.
So February 26 you said.
So yeah, coming up to fiveyears, which is huge.
Wait no six years.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-202 (23:03):
years.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (23:03):
It's 20, 25.
Girl.
Sorry.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (23:06):
No, that's with you.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (23:09):
This year was rocky for me,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (23:10):
yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (23:11):
so yeah I'm okay with racing it.
But you've been sober for overfive years coming up to six, and
I would love to hear from you ifyou can recall what those early
days were like, because onceyou're far removed or like you
have some perspective we arelike, oh yeah, this is great.
Like, why did I drink before?
We hear like.
Pink clouds So what was yourexperience like in early

(23:31):
sobriety and how did you sustainor know that this was actually
going to be like a permanentthing for you?

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (23:39):
I, well, well, first of all, I do
consider it to be just a divineblessing that I got sober before
COVID, Do think.
That would've maybe been the endfor me.
I don't know.
Luckily we don't ever have tofind that out, but

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (23:53):
Amen.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (23:54):
so the world went into lockdown two
weeks after I got sober, whichis crazy.
But I was in a very safe bubble.
I was so, so lucky, like, soprivileged.
I had just moved back in with mydad and my little sister.
So I was living rent free withmy family.

(24:16):
And I didn't have to worry abouta lot of things that other
people did during COVID, which Iknow is definitely a privilege.
But, so I spent a lot of timealone.
I mean, obviously I had myfamily there, but I'm telling
you like.
I would listen to sobrietypodcasts, sometimes eight hours
a day, back to back,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (24:37):
Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (24:38):
going through the show notes and
finding women specifically whohad something in their bio that
I could relate to, whether thatwas, that they were a creative
person, right?
Or they were like a about my ageor something, right.
That I thought was cool.
And I would listen to thosestories back to back and just
sort of like reinforce.
This decision I had made andlike, okay, there's proof that

(24:58):
in a few years I could be ashappy as this lady, or whatever.
listened to a lot of podcasts,started reading again a lot
because that's something Ididn't do when I was drinking.
I would pick it up and put itdown.
I could barely get through, afew pages without being like,
eh, okay, I am, I'm either toodrunk for this or I'm gonna
drink instead.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (25:18):
My

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (25:18):
Yeah, hopefully, man, instead of re
I'm just gonna blow up my life.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (25:23):
how.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2 (25:25):
Exactly.
I started a garden when I wasabout th two months sober, maybe
maybe not even that.
And I just had this likeintuitive, like pull to grow
something and it was just like Ididn't know what to do with
myself and I thought, okay, Ineed to just almost like, I
don't know, this sounds very, Idon't know, woo, but it was like

(25:46):
I needed to just put my hands inthe dirt and.
Like go back to the just.
Back to the grindstone, like,where did I come from?
Where am I going?
And like for me, gardeningbecame this really spiritual
practice.
I I often talk about it as agood analogy and kind of
metaphor for sobriety becauseit's like, think about the the
faith that is necessary to getsober and believe you're gonna

(26:10):
have a better life.
Right?
And then it's kind of like thesame as putting a seed into the
ground and you just like.
It's gonna grow.
And then, the little greensprout comes up and you just, I
remember weeping, looking atthose little sprouts and just
being like, it's a literalmiracle.
I've made something.
So gardening became this wholething for me, and I started

(26:31):
writing again and I think I wasabout four months in.
Maybe less, actually, maybe twoor three.
When I, I decided to start theInstagram page because I had
been going on social medialooking for sober content, and I
hadn't told anyone that I wassober yet, so I didn't wanna
follow these accounts from mypersonal account.

(26:53):
So I literally created like afta, like I literally created a
stalker account.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (27:01):
this.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (27:01):
For sobriety and that's, that was
creative sobriety

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (27:05):
Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (27:06):
as a stalker account.
And

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (27:08):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (27:08):
I eventually started posting my
own stuff on there, but I didn'tshow my face for a while.
But it was like anaccountability tool as well
because every day I would.
I would go on there and dosomething.
so yeah, those first, I wouldsay six months, were very quiet,
a lot of, so solitude.
I would I drank a lot ofkombucha.
I To have something in a wineglass at like 5:00 PM

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (27:31):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (27:32):
and I did it every single day

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (27:34):
It's like you replace the ritual.
Yeah, you replace the ritual.
I still drink my carbonatedbeverages in a beautiful stem
glass, because I have thematerials from years of
drinking, like, I'm gonna throwit away.
No,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (27:47):
like I invested in this?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (27:49):
I'm gonna glamorize drinking
sparkling water like that.
That's my whole vibe.
Yeah.
I love that.
I resonate too with theisolation for preparation is
something I did in earlysobriety.
Which is like anti a lot of whatthe traditional programs
recommend, which is likeconnection, the opposite of
addiction is connection.
That's a popular saying for me,in the early wee hours of my

(28:12):
sobriety, I self isolated.
Like I needed to figure out whoI was again.
I reverted back to a lot of likechildhood hobbies that I had
before I started drinking.
I started to journal again, Idon't know if you gardened
before, but I really like thatmetaphor of no, you didn't.
Okay, this isn something new.
But like that urge, like youfelt something internally

(28:33):
nudging you to get your hands inthere in the dirt.
Like a homecoming, you goingback to Tennessee and having the
time and like feeling like youwanna create something
beautiful, which I would love totalk about creative sobriety,
which by the way, for a Finsta.
Perfect name.
I'm so happy that you got thathandled.
It's, it's perfect.
It reflects you.
There's no underscore guys atCreative Sobriety link in the

(28:55):
show notes.
Of course.
But yeah can you share a littlebit about what that process has
looked like for you and how yougot in touch with your
creativity again,

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (29:03):
yeah, I mean, it's so wildly different
I have so much creative freedomnow, and freedom in the sense of
like, my creativity is alwaysavailable to me, because when I
was

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (29:19):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (29:20):
I would.
Sure I would have really greatideas.
I wrote an entire novel when Iwas living in LA

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (29:27):
Wow.

kristen-bear_2_11-19- (29:27):
realized.
After the fact, after I gotsober, when I went back to work
on it, that I had written thischaracter, this female
protagonist was a completeraging alcoholic, but I had made
it so flowery and beautiful thatshe was just like a wine,
enthusiast.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (29:43):
Of course.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (29:44):
oh my God.
So I didn't realize how much thebooze culture had colored my
creativity.
There's just such a limited.
Narrative you can go with

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (29:56):
Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (29:56):
and I started realizing just like
how pervasive it is in all ofour narratives across, TV and
film and books and just the waywe speak about alcohol, the way
we think every time.
Two women sit down to have aconversation.
There has to be a glass of wineon the table.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (30:10):
Yes.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_ (30:11):
it's just like those things started
clocking to me in a new way.
But, creatively, and I think yousaid before, you said the
opposite of addiction isconnection or people, that's
something people

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (30:22):
Think Renee Brown.
So that's not me.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (30:24):
I think is beautiful and I think
that's very real.
But I would say for me, theopposite of addiction is
expression because were so manythings I wanted to say, create
and be.
That I never allowed myself afull chance to do it.
You know what I mean?

(30:44):
And I wanted

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (30:45):
do.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_180 (30:46):
I wanted so badly.
All I wanted was to be anartist.
I wanted to be a creativeartist.
I wanted to be taken seriously.
I wanted to make something thatpeople cared about, but I could
never finish anything because Iwas so in my head.
I was so insecure.
I was so angry.
I was so, hung over.
I was so distracted.
By the wrong things.

(31:07):
so for me, sobriety is, hasgiven me the freedom to like,
see these things through, likehave an idea and make it start
to finish, and like trustmyself.
I think sobriety opens up ourintuition in a way that is not
available to us when we'redrinking.
I think it

the-sober-butterfly (31:24):
Absolutely.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025 (31:25):
that.
Pipeline.
And I think creativity for mecomes from a very spiritual
place.
It's almost like they'reworldly.
How do we get these ideas, likehow do we come up with these
just insane, beautiful, originalthings.
And like for me, that's almost.
That's almost like a spiritualconnection.
And I think being sober hasreally freed up that spiritual

(31:47):
highway.
So it's like I can connect withit continuously and it's not
ever, it's not ever clogged up.
So, I think I like a lot ofpeople romanticized the whole
tortured artist thing.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (32:00):
Yes.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_18 (32:01):
my pain and sobriety has allowed me
to alchemize my pain and notlive in it.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (32:08):
Right.

kristen-bear_2_11-19-2025_1 (32:10):
but to look at it truthfully, look
at it, and then tell the truthabout it, instead of painting it
as something it's not

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (32:18):
Rose colored.
Yeah, a lot of the drinking is aform of self protection.
Like it's not a healthy copingmechanism, but we think in that
moment when we're reaching forwhatever source of, comfort in
that moment, that thing is goingto make us feel better.
And it does maybe momentarily,but it's a fleeting, moment.
And that's where that.

(32:39):
Cycle really kicks in becausethen you're gonna have to keep
reaching for some externalsource as opposed to looking
inward.
So I love that you shared that,and I genuinely mean this when I
say I prefer.
The way you phrased it, which isthe opposite of addiction, is
expression.
And even with me journaling,like I had a voice, I had so
many things that were stifledthat I wouldn't admit to myself

(33:01):
or to other people like God.
Heaven forbid anyone knew what Iwas struggling with.
When I started to finally.
Own up to stuff and admit thingsto my therapist.
That gave me, I think a nod ofconfidence to where it's doesn't
make me a horrible person.
Like I'm not completely damagedgoods, or I'm not completely
helpless in the situation, inthis narrative.

(33:23):
Like, I can change it and ifthere are things about me, I
don't like, change it then like,you know, so that really was the
start for me.
And then, like I mentioned, likethe expression comes out in many
different forms and.
Similar to you also feel likecreativity really has to come
from a source within, but also aconnection to something else as
well.

the-sober-butterfly_4_ (33:41):
Kristen, you've had this really big,
expansive, creative journey whodo you typically like, who do
you think creative sobrietyresonates with in terms of
demographics?
Who are you connecting with?
Because we've both talked aboutthis idea of feeling like we
need to see ourselves in people,maybe to get that spark of
inspiration to start.
Making changes because if youdon't know anyone personally in

(34:03):
your life that you connect withthat is also sober.
It can be difficult for peopleto like even take that leap of
faith.
So who do you think you connectwith and beyond that question,
who would you like to reach withcreative sobriety and not just
your account because Instagramis Instagram, but like the
connections you make in terms oflike impact.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (34:24):
Yeah, that is such a great question.
Thank

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (34:26):
Thank you.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (34:27):
I think, you know, I mean, my
audience is hugely women, right?
It's hugely women.
20.
Yeah, like 25 to 45 you know,and beyond.
Certainly I have some olderwomen too, which I love.
I'd love to reach more olderwomen actually.

(34:47):
But yeah I definitely am havethe ladies, which I'm so
grateful for because honestly,that was my intention, right?
Was.
wanna connect with other womenlike me who were kind of sold
this rotten bag of goods, thatalcohol is the gatekeeper of
fun, sex, joy, success and kindof be like, Hey guys.

(35:08):
No, it's not.
And also there's nothing wrongwith you if you don't fit into a
category, because that wasreally big for me.
I didn't ever wanna call myselfan alcoholic or an addict.
I didn't relate to thatlanguage.
I didn't wanna go to aa.
needed to feel empowered.
I needed to like a hundredpercent buy-in to sobriety as an

(35:29):
upgrade.
And so I think I connect withwomen who have also maybe been a
little bit turned off bytraditional recovery rhetoric,
who are probably creative womenin some capacity, whether they
realize it or not.
By the way they've lived theirlives and choices they've made
and things that they'reinterested in and really are now

(35:52):
at a place where they want tojust unapologetically.
Be themselves without alcoholand own that, you know, own what
that means.
And so I try to I just try tosay the thing that I was scared
to say for so long because likeknow that's the thing.
If I saw another woman say itwould've clocked something for

(36:13):
me,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (36:13):
Yep.
Yep.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (36:14):
So yeah, I hope I reach those
women.
I hope I reach women who aresort of in the booze.
Hustle culture and don't realizemaybe there's a whole other way
to do life and that it'sactually not this boring, sad
loss of anything.
It's so the opposite of that.
And I really think that womenare collectively awakening to

(36:36):
that.
I think that's, why you and Iare here.
I think that's why soberInstagram is what it is.
And we're having theseconversations on a huge scale
now because I think people arejust sick of that shit.
They're sick of the,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (36:47):
Yes.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2 (36:49):
bullshit and booze definitely falls into
that category for me.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (36:53):
I agree.
I think women have been soldthis life for so long, and like
the marketing, it feels likeit's specifically tailored for
women alcohol.
We weren't allowed to drinkalcohol years ago, but like all
of a sudden it's yeah, thatboozy culture, that mommy wine
culture,

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the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (38:18):
Labels can be really scary.
I need to take inventory of thisword of alcoholic or revisit my
earlier beliefs because I.
Called myself many times on andoff record an alcoholic.
Like a scare tactic, as a way tokeep myself from believing that
I'm ever capable of drinkingagain and being able to drink

(38:40):
again.
Like some people can drink andhave one and be fine.
That's not me.
That's never been my jam.
Can I have one?
Yes.
Will I be happy about it?
No.
So I just don't wanna.
Slide back to where I started.
So that's why I like default andtell myself that I'm an
alcoholic.
And so I don't love the verbiageand it was very discouraging to
go to, this is why I don'tattend meetings anymore, AA

(39:01):
meetings, to hear like the selfdefecating, like I'm a piece of
shit.
Nobody actually says that.
Hello, my, I'm a piece of shit.
But it feels very much Hey thisI stopped feeling good after I
left meetings and so, yeah.
So much of that literature,comes from.
The big book is just like verymale centered, and they're like,
oh don't pay attention to thatlanguage.

(39:21):
But I'm like,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (39:22):
yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (39:22):
not, don't think about everything is
male centered.
Yeah, don't think, don't focuson that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (39:28):
It can be really wonderful for
people, but I think that'salways my point when I talk
about this is like everybody'sbrain is incentivized by
different things.
Do you

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (39:36):
Yeah.
Yes.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (39:38):
the word alcoholic for some is
empowering because it gives thema definition, it gives them a
clear picture of why they're notdoing a thing.
But for me, you know, for me itwas the opposite because I had
also lived my life for so longwith these excuses for why I
drank.
Right.
Well, this terrible thinghappened to me of course I

(39:59):
drank.
Like you haven't been throughwhat I went through and I
carried that.
Like that trauma, like a badgeof honor.
This is why I am fucked upy'all.
You know what I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (40:08):
Yeah.
Yeah,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (40:08):
And so alcoholic for me, especially
early in sobriety, could havevery much been just another
excuse for why I drink.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (40:18):
yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (40:19):
for me it was like, okay, if I'm
gonna do this, if I have thepower.
To turn my life into a pile ofshit, which I had effectively
done Then, okay, well then Ialso have the power to change my
life.
If I'm so powerful, you know,that I can completely fuck
everything, then I am thatpowerful that I can change

(40:41):
everything.
And so the powerlessness

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (40:44):
And

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (40:44):
in

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (40:44):
that's like the first thing they talk
about.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (40:46):
just

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (40:46):
I'm powerless over this.
That's like step one.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (40:49):
my whole life feeling powerless to
everyone and every man in everyroom I've ever been in, and
that's the last thing that'sgonna get me sober.
But yeah, I think it's importantto, to hear all sides of that
story, right?
Because people, it's gonna workfor some people and it's not
gonna work for some people.
And people need to know thatthere are alternatives.
You know, they're not a lostcause if it doesn't work.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (41:12):
Do, what works for you but another
issue for me with AA is thatthey would say things like If
you are not working the steps,you will drink again.
It's feels a bit fear mongering,where it's oh, if I don't
subscribe to these beliefs, likeI'm an alcoholic, so I'm gonna
die.
I'm gonna basically have thisdisease for the rest of my life.
And if I don't continue to workthe program, then I'm a lost
cause.

(41:33):
And so ultimately that's why Idon't go to meetings anymore.
That part was very like, eh,icky for me.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (41:39):
We talk a lot about this,
especially in the modernfeminist culture of decentering
men, right?
And so in from that lens thing,I think about AA as it's still
centering alcohol,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (41:50):
yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (41:50):
And

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (41:51):
Yep.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (41:51):
so we're talking about it.
We're constantly acknowledgingit.
We're constantly giving it thiscontrol over us or

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (41:56):
I think about this.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (41:57):
So.
That idea to me was like, no, Iwanna knock alcohol completely
off of this pedestal that I'veput it on.
I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (42:03):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (42:03):
to continue almost worshiping it in
the sense that it's so almighty,you know?
It's no, I wanna make itirrelevant.
Like I just don't give a fuckabout alcohol

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (42:12):
Yeah.
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (42:13):
that place.
You know what I mean?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (42:15):
And that's the place I am today,
four years ago when I was justgetting sober.
And no, it was like unfathomablefor me to think that I could
live life without the substance.
But today I am like, I don'tdrink.
Not because I'm afraid that I'man alcoholic.
I don't drink because I don'twant to like, I just don't want
to.
Like, why?
Why would I ever wanna be likethat?
That is freedom.

(42:36):
That is freedom.
So I don't even know am I analcoholic?
I don't know.
I don't even care.
I just know that I don't careabout.
Ever drinking and it's, there'snothing sexy about or like
alcohol or me romanticizing mypast with alcohol, that
relationship,'cause itdefinitely felt like an in
entanglement, I'll say for toolong.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (42:56):
a thousand percent.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (42:57):
I love that.
So, I wanna, would love to winddown with a couple of things.
So the first thing, I found anamazing article that you were
featured in.
The Medium article by Yi.
Wiener or Weiner, sorry.
Here's of the addiction crisis,how Kristen Bearer of Creative
Sobriety is helping to battleone of the most serious
epidemics, and this article'samazing.

(43:18):
I will link it in the show notesif you're curious.
But something that really stoodout to me is you said, Kristen
mentioned in this article yousaid, I want them to know that
they don't need anything,whether it's alcohol, drugs, or
whatever, they think they needto feel, quote enough.
They were always whole withoutit.
And I want people to show up astheir true selves, and I believe
the world wants to see that too.

(43:38):
If me showing up authenticallycan help someone else.
Feel they have permission to dothe same.
That would be the message I wantto share, which I think is so
beautiful.
Why am I drinking this?
Why am I doing this over andover?
I want more depth in my life.
I want intentionality, I wantpurpose.
That message was really powerfulfor me.
How do people take that stepback and take inventory of,

(44:01):
wait, why am I drinking this?
We don't always question like,why what's driving us to make
this choice to reach for thedrink, you know what I mean?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (44:10):
I mean, so often these behaviors
are mindless, they're justmindless reactions to a, an
environment that we're in or afriend that we see, or something
we do routinely, right?
We order the same drink, we dothe same thing, and it's like
really, I would really love forpeople to allow themselves the
space to get curious about whythey do the.

(44:32):
Things they do.
Like it really

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (44:33):
Okay.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (44:34):
with curiosity.
You know, I think the firstquestion is, why do I feel the
need to have an alcoholic drinkwhen I go to A, B, C, and D?
Right?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (44:44):
Right.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (44:45):
the next question is would my life,
could my life possibly reach anew level or I could reach a new
amount of fulfillment orproductivity or creativity or
whatever the thing is if I justremoved this one thing, like
what if?
What if alcohol and yourrelationship to it your routine
with it was the only thingholding you back from like level

(45:09):
10.
Think about it, you know?
And so, yeah, just gettingcurious about why we do all the
things we do from, like why wechoose the clothes we're gonna
wear that day, to what we drinkat dinner, to what we cook for
dinner, to like why we go feelthe need to hang out with this
friend who's like always makingus feel insecure or like Us.

(45:30):
Like why do we do these things,you know?
And can I choose different.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (45:34):
How has your life changed since
getting sober?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (45:38):
I mean complete, like 180 360.
I don't know the right one forthat, but I mean, everything is
different.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (45:48):
Yeah,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (45:48):
Both, I don't Yeah.
Completely different.
I am no longer I think, by shameand insecurity and I think I
live my life now from a place ofkind of like self-acceptance,
and that sounds kind of cheesy,but that's really the foundation
of all of this for me, is likelearning to love myself and all

(46:12):
the different versions of myselfthat survived what she survived
and didn't crumble.
That allowed me to get to here,because I think there were so
many things that I think couldhave.
I don't know, really veered mylife in a bad direction.
But somewhere I think I alwaysjust had this hope that I was
gonna end up in a place that wasjoyful and happy and abundant

(46:37):
and safe and like all of thesethings.
So I'm very grateful for theversions of me that didn't give
up, you know?
So I just live with a lot moregratitude.
I mean, completely new sense ofgratitude.
I think most sober people canunderstand when I say that
because, it's three months forsome people.
Sometimes it's more like six,but you hit the kind of pink
cloud moment.

(46:58):
And that did happen for me.
I think I was driving on a backroad with my windows down.
The sun was like shining intothe car, and I was listening to
my favorite Joni record JoniMitchell record, and I just
started weeping.
I was

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (47:12):
I love that.
I love that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19- (47:14):
beautiful

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (47:16):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (47:16):
have time.
I have time to be whoever thefuck I wanna be, and I'm gonna
do that.
You know?
Yeah.
I just am so much moreoptimistic and hopeful.
I believe in myself more.
I mean, that's, you know,cheesy, but it's true.

the-sober-butterfly_4_1 (47:30):
Cheesy, but it's true.
And yeah, I think the shift isthe serotonin versus the
dopamine.
That instant gratification whenwe reach for the drink because
we're uncomfortable versus delayuntil you actually start to feel
good It will come.
I promise it will come even ifit feels impossible in the
beginning.
So thank you for sharing that.
Kristen.
I wanna wind down.

(47:51):
With a little game.
Are you game to play?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (47:54):
I am so game.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (47:55):
Okay.
I'm so excited.
We're gonna do a quick rapidfire style game and I like to
make up games.
So this doesn't officially havea name, but I'm thinking like,
maybe we can call it like acreative spark.
Creative spark.
Okay.
So just whatever comes to mind.
Rapid fire.
Don't overthink it.
What is a creative ritual youswear by

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2 (48:15):
writing.
That's not

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (48:17):
Makes sense.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (48:18):
is it?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (48:18):
You're a great writer.
No that's a ritual.
Like when do you write?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (48:21):
it.
I have to do it every day.
That's the ritual.
No matter if it's one word, Ihave to do it.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (48:26):
I love that.
A journal every day now, and Ican't wait to look back one day
and just be like, oh, look howinteresting my life was.
Pre sobriety, post sobriety.
It's all interesting.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (48:36):
It's all material.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (48:37):
Yes, too much material.
What is your sober superpower?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (48:41):
My intuition, my.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (48:42):
Ooh.
And you're more in touch withit.
Ah, I love that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (48:47):
It's just, it's always there and I
trust it now a lot more easilyand quick, quickly than I used
to.

the-sober-butterfly_4_1 (48:53):
Ladies, listen to your intuition.
Don't let anyone tell you it'snot real.
My intuition will not steer youwrong.
What's a book or a show or asong, that you feel has shaped
you?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (49:05):
Women who Run with the Wolves

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (49:07):
When you said intuition, I thought
that book literally, sorry tocut you off.
I, yes, I love that book.
My Spanish therapist recommendedit to me when, right before I
got Spanish therapist, mySpanish.
Teacher who was like a therapistbefore I got sober, recommended
I read that book and chefs likethat book changed my entire life

(49:30):
too.
That book is so powerful'causeit just breaks down all the
archetypes and how we as womenstifle that like wildness and
like we can lean into it.
We can be fully colored andfully dimensional.
Yeah,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (49:41):
Yes.
And I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (49:41):
I love that.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (49:42):
a really good a really good
interpretation of wild woman,you know, and not in the sense
of like alcohol and drugs,right?
There's a Yeah, I wanna beferal, I wanna be fucking Like I
wanna

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (49:54):
yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (49:55):
My truest auth, most authentic
self.
And yeah, every woman shouldread that book.
I have the whole thinghighlighted pretty much like
start to finish.
It's just one big highlight.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (50:05):
I read it before sobriety.
Do you think I should read itnow?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (50:09):
I

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (50:09):
I'm gonna, I'm gonna break it back
out.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (50:11):
But I pick it up now.
I would say at least once aweek, sometimes

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (50:15):
Oh, wow.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (50:16):
Open and find a highlight and be like
because

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (50:19):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (50:20):
hit different now that I'm sober.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (50:22):
Okay.
This is my sign to pick thatbook back up since I haven't
read it since.
Before getting sober.
Okay, kristen, what would yousay is your go-to and na drink?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (50:32):
Ooh.
I have been really into NA winefor the last few months.
I love like a sparkling bubbly.
I'm a big fan of Noughty.
The

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (50:44):
Oh, I love naughty.
They're the best.
They're the best red, in myopinion.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (50:48):
Is really good.
I love French Bloom.
I think theirs is like a reallylovely, sophisticated bubbles.
And then also Omo has thisbeautiful red, which to me.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (51:00):
Okay.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (51:01):
you could look it up.
It's it's, honestly, it's prettyimpressive.
So I've been into the winestuff, but I do love, like an
adaptogenic, functional, I lovethings with like herbs.
I'm into herbalism right now.
So.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (51:12):
Makes sense.
With the gardening.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (51:14):
Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (51:15):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (51:15):
like, okay, I wanna put good stuff
into my body, you know?
It's like we quit drinking andthe, at first the goal is just
don't drink.
And then you get to a pointwhere you're just like, oh,
okay, now I wanna go theopposite direction.
I just wanna put like only themost amazing, healthy, like what
can this do for me into my body?
You know?
Like I wanna go in the oppositedirection, be.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (51:34):
360 whatever, 360.
We don't know the degrees, butyeah, that again, yes I love
that.
Okay, two more.
What is one thing that you thinkpeople would be shocked to learn
about you or know about you?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (51:46):
Oh gosh.
Well, I mean, I guess somepeople know about me.
I guess I've talked about itquite a bit, but I actually
built a house out of a shippingcontainer.
I started at the.
First,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (52:00):
Wow.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (52:00):
year after I got sober.
So yeah, I live in a, I live ina shipping container in the
middle of the woods.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (52:06):
That's amazing.
Wait, you built it yourself?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (52:09):
Yeah, my dad is an engineer and

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (52:11):
Oh, cool.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (52:11):
to him with this idea during COVID
that I need to build a house formyself because I can't do COVID
again.
I won't survive it, you know, as

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (52:20):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-202 (52:20):
artist and freelancer.
so I just got really obsessedwith researching the tiny.
Options.
And I fell in love with theshipping container and it took
me almost four years.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (52:31):
Wow,

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (52:32):
like as I could, and I was determined
to like.
a place that I could live inthat I didn't have to pay for
and I could just

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (52:41):
that's amazing.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (52:42):
So anyways, yeah, so that's weird.
And I live like in the middle ofnowhere.
I live like an hour plus awayfrom Nashville.
And so I spend a lot of my timehere in the tiny house working
in just vibing the woods.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (52:56):
I was just about to say, I feel
like I'm imagining you in thewoods, which makes sense with
women who run wolves like youare out there.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (53:04):
I really took it far.
Yeah.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11 (53:06):
That's amazing.
I feel like I live in a tinyhouse because I live in a
studio, but unfortunately myfricking rent is astronomical,
so I love that.
For you, I feel I definitelycould live in a tiny house and I
wish I wasn't paying a bigfucking rent bill every month
for the tiny space I have, butI'm so for that.
That's very cool.
Final question

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (53:27):
Okay.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19 (53:27):
for you.
Rapid fire What is a creativeproject you are dreaming about
but haven't maybe started yet?
Or maybe you have started it butmaybe not finished?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (53:37):
Yes.
So definitely the project thatI'm dreaming

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19- (53:40):
I.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_184 (53:41):
I think about it nonstop and I
have been working on it for acouple of years, but I've
really, I just kind of made thedecision in the last few months
of I'm really devoting my timeonly to this for this
foreseeable future is a bookthat I'm writing.
Always wanted to write a book,but I was writing fiction for
years and then when I got soberI realized that if I was going

(54:01):
to write anything worth a damn.
had to write my story first.
I had to be honest, and that waslike the scariest thing to write
to me.
So I knew it was a thing Ineeded to write.
So I've been working on amemoir, it's narrative
nonfiction you know, just thewhole story of like why I drank,
why I think a lot of womendrink, why I think the the

(54:22):
alcohol industry is.
Sending dangerous and toxicmessaging to women and,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (54:26):
Yeah.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (54:27):
you know, how I got sober and how I
created a life for myself.
Out of all of that, you know,and coming home to myself and
literally building a hump.
So it's kind of all of thosethings.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (54:39):
I can't wait to read that sign me
up for the pre-order, likeofficially I want in.
You are a writer, you'recreative and your story is so
deeply relatable and powerful.
I know that your book will be amajor hit.
So I cannot wait for that tocome out.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_1 (54:53):
You are so sweet.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Maybe you can be anaccountability partner for me.
You can just send me a messageevery couple weeks like, Hey
bitch,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (54:59):
How's the book?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (55:00):
you?

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (55:01):
How's the book?
2026

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (55:03):
Yeah,

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-1 (55:04):
drop the date?

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_ (55:05):
It's time.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-19-2 (55:06):
I will follow up with you and I
believe that that's thebeautiful thing about sobriety.
Once you Stop drinking, you stopmaking excuses.
Like you're like, wait, I didthat hard thing.
What else can I do?
I cannot wait for that to comeout and I'm so proud of you
because that's a brave thing todo and anyone listening at home,
make sure you sign up to getKristen's book and I will keep
you accountable.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025_18 (55:22):
It happen.
Yeah.
2026 is the year.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (55:25):
2026.
Can't wait.
Because we talked about this.
2025 was garbage.
Not garbage.
Everything is meant to happen,but like I cannot wait for this
year to be over.
Thank you so much, Kristen.
I'm so excited to share thisepisode.
Obviously we folks at home, thiswas such a great conversation.
I learned so much from you.
I would just like to.

(55:47):
The conversation by asking youto just share anything that
comes to mind, but also likewhere listeners can find you how
they can connect with creativesobriety and any messages you
wanna leave with us or anyonewho's exploring creativity and
sobriety and or both together.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (56:04):
Thank you.
I would love to connect with anyof you guys.
Please.
Instagram message me on.
Instagram, I am on TikTok, butthat's, I'm very unhinged and I
don't know, it's kinda all overthe place.
Instagram, I also write onSubstack.
If any of you guys are, youknow, avid readers and you like
Substack content, I have anewsletter.
It's also called CreativeSobriety, and I would love it if

(56:26):
you subscribe there.
I write a lot about.
Sobriety, but also the alcoholindustry and the news happening
with all of that.
And then also a lot of narrativenonfiction, kind of similar to
the way I'm writing my memoir,so you can get kind of an idea
of some of the themes that Ilike to write about.
but yeah, I just would love for.

(56:46):
People to, you know, get curiousabout their lives.
That's my biggest piece ofadvice.
You don't have to defineyourself.
You don't have to decide you'renever gonna drink again.
Just allow yourself anopportunity to try something new
and to try and move a differentway, because it literally might
be the thing that changeseverything and you deserve to

(57:08):
see how good you can be in thislife.
So go for

the-sober-butterfly_4_11- (57:12):
Thank you Kristen, for coming on.

kristen-bear_3_11-19-2025 (57:14):
Thank you, Nadine.
Thank you for everything you do.
I think you are a superstar, andI'm so glad we know each other
now.

the-sober-butterfly_4_11-2 (57:21):
That is a wrap on my conversation
with Kristen Bear from CreativeSobriety.
If something Kristen said landedin your chest, if you felt that
nudge of inspiration or thatlittle spark to explore your own
creativity.
Follow it.
That's the magic ofconversations like this.

(57:42):
They tend to unlock somethingthat's already inside of you.
So make sure you check outKristen's, work over at Creative
Sobriety, community that she'sbuilt on Instagram.
Check out her writing onSubstack, her podcast on all of
the streaming platforms and staytuned for her incredible memoir
coming out.
You heard it here for the firsttime, 2026.

(58:06):
I will link everything below inthe show notes for you to make
it easy.
And if this episode resonatedwith you, which I would hope
after listening for an hoursomething resonated with you,
please share this with a friend,leave a review.
Tag us on socials.
It really helps the show growsome more sober and sober
curious butterflies can find us.

(58:29):
Thank you so much for spendingthis time with me.
I hope you guys have an amazingThanksgiving next week.
I will be in El Salvador, sostay tuned for that update.
Solo trip to El Salvador overhere.
And yeah, I'll keep you posted.
As always, keep choosingyourself.
Keep showing up for yourself.
Keep expressing yourself.

(58:50):
Yeah, that was really powerfulwhen kristen was like, the
opposite of addiction isexpression, so make sure you're
finding ways to live your truth.
Express your truth to transforminto the most creative, vibrant
version of you.
I love you butterflies.
See you next time.