January 9, 2026 • 37 mins
I share a practical plan to turn New Year hope into steady recovery by choosing one habit, building agency, and treating sources of symptoms rather than endlessly managing them. I outline seven habits for healing, from mood tracking and nutrition to therapy, mindfulness, yoga, exercise, and mindful living.
• healing as a long-term process built on one change
• shifting from victim mindset to personal agency
• mood cycle survival guide and early warning signs
• micronutrients as fuel for brain function
• therapy as a facilitator for resolving sources
• mindfulness to regain control of thoughts and body
• yoga to reintegrate mind and body
• exercise for stability, not intensity
• living mindfully with weekly reviews and a clear why
• invitation to pick one habit and start now
Join the Mood Cycle Survival Guide. It’s free. Check in with us in the Upsiders' Basecamp chat for advice. If you’re ready to heal your symptoms, join my monthly membership, The Upsiders' Tribe, to transform chaos into hope. For more resources, visit www.theupsideofbipolar.com. Grab my book, The Upside of Bipolar: Seven Steps to Heal Your Disorder.
FREE Mood Cycle Survival Guide: https://theupsideofbipolar.com/free/
The Upside of Bipolar: 7 Steps to Heal Your Disorder: @upsideofbipolar | Linktree
website: https://theupsideofbipolar.com/
email: michelle@theupsideofbipolar.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theupsideofbipolar/
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
It takes time to heal.
It takes time to correct thesesymptoms and the sources of the
symptoms that have taken yearsto develop in the first place.
And so it's really important tofocus on not healing as an
event, but healing as a process,and that you are developing
habits for healing, habits thatare going to help move you
(00:20):
towards healing.
Welcome to the Upside ofBipolar, where we uncover the
true sources of bipolar symptomsand share proven tools for
recovery.
I'm your host, MichelleReitinger, number one
international best-sellingauthor of the Upside of Bipolar
Seven Steps to Heal YourDisorder.
In this podcast, I bring yousolo insights from my journey
(00:42):
and guest interviews withleading researchers and experts.
Join us to transform chaos intohope and reclaim your life.
Let's heal together.
(01:03):
I'm so excited for this comingyear.
I feel a tremendous amount ofhope and optimism for the
future.
And I know that that can bereally hard when you're
struggling with bipolardisorder.
If you've had these symptoms fora long time and you have been
through a lot of new years, youmay have been like I used to be,
where you get really excited atthe beginning of the new year
(01:24):
and you feel like maybe thisyear can be different.
You start making plans forchanges and things that you're
going to do differently and hopethat this year it will stick.
I know that when I used to gocome into the new year in the
past, when I was reallystruggling with my bipolar
symptoms, I would try to make awhole bunch of changes all at
one time.
I was very unhappy in my lifeand feeling very discouraged on
(01:46):
a regular basis and especiallyafter the holidays.
The holidays were really hardbecause I would get hypomatic
going into the holidays and thencrash afterwards.
And so a lot of times what I wasdoing with my New Year's
resolutions was trying to getmyself out of a depressive
episode and wanting to makechanges to my life.
I didn't like the cycles that Iwas living in.
I didn't like the symptoms thatI had.
(02:08):
And I wanted to change things.
And so I would set out with awhole bunch of goals.
I'm a very goal-driven person.
I have been since my childhood.
And so I would set up a bunch ofnew goals in the hopes that I
could make things different,that I could change my life,
that I could change the cyclesthat I experienced, that I could
stop the symptoms.
And inevitably, every year, Iwould try to make a whole bunch
(02:30):
of changes at one time.
I would often get hypomanic inthe attempt and then crash.
It was just part of the cycle.
I would get hypomanic and thencrash, hypomanic and then crash.
And I started to have this weirdanxiety going into the new year.
There was a little bit of methat wanted to continue to have
hope, but there, you know, ourbrains learn from experience.
(02:53):
And my brain had learned overthe previous, you know, New
Year's experiences that everyyear I would try and every year
I would fail.
One of the things that I learnedwhen I went through the healing
process, however, is that youneed to change the way that you
approach the new year.
I think there's a tremendousamount of value in this
(03:14):
opportunity to check in withyourself.
When you approach the new year,though, it's really important to
approach it in a way that youcan actually make sustainable
changes.
And what I would encourage youas we go through this episode is
to consider what your patternis.
What has your pattern been?
(03:35):
Are you a goal-driven person?
Are you somebody that likes totry and make changes to your
life?
Do you get caught up in the NewYear's resolution craze?
Do you try to make a whole bunchof changes to your life at one
time and then fail?
Or are you somebody that thinksI nothing's going to get any
better, nothing's going tochange, so I'm just going to
keep keep on keeping on and justkeep surviving my life?
(03:58):
I'd love to hear from you.
So if you want to let me knowwhat kind of person you are and
what kind of person you want tobe, let me know.
Send me an email and let meknow.
But in this episode, what we'regoing to talk about is how to
approach the new year in a waythat is actually going to help
you start making changes thatwill be lasting and help move
you towards recovery andhealing.
(04:19):
So the first thing that Ilearned is to make sure that you
are focusing on one thing at atime.
If you are approaching the newyear and you want to make
changes, what is the one thingthat you think would be most
beneficial to you?
What is one thing that you couldwork on?
And the reason why focusing onone thing at a time has value is
(04:39):
number one, it helps keep yourbrain, your mind from being
fractured and your attentionfrom being fractured.
When you are trying to make awhole bunch of changes at one
time, you're trying to thinkabout a bunch of different
things at one time.
And our minds want, you know,there's there's a term in
science called homeostasis thatwe keeps trying to find
equilibrium.
And the way that we have beenliving up to this point
(05:02):
generally is a product of habit.
And we've been, you know, kindof gotten into a rhythm in our
life.
And so we even if it's a, evenif you're living in, you know,
bipolar cycles, if you're ifused to living, you know, with
mania and then depression andthen mania and then depression,
that is a habit.
Like that cycle is a habit.
And your brain knows toanticipate it.
(05:25):
If you start feeling yourselfgetting in or starting to get
hypomatic, if you start feelingyourself going into mania, your
brain knows what comesafterwards.
And it's in that habit.
It's in that cycle.
And so if you focus on one thingat a time, it helps you to focus
on it and give your attention toit so that your attention is not
fractured.
(05:45):
And that attention can help youprioritize what you're trying to
work on.
Number two, it helps you learnhow to keep promises to
yourself.
One of the things I struggledwith for years when I was
struggling with bipolar symptomsis failing to keep promises to
myself.
I would, I would convince myselfthat this time things were going
to be different.
(06:06):
This time, you know, when itcame to like, for example, by my
bipolar rage symptoms, next timeI have an issue with, you know,
a trigger, I'm not going to gointo a bipolar rage.
And so every time that wouldhappen, and I and I would go
into that dissociative rage, Iwould feel discouraged and I
would feel like I couldn't trustmyself, like I couldn't count on
(06:28):
myself.
So focusing on one thing that isthat is attainable and
sustainable, one goal, will helpyou start to make promises to
yourself and keep promises toyourself, and you start to trust
yourself more and you start tohave confidence in yourself.
The third thing that focusing onone thing will help you do is
(06:49):
that it is easier to startadapting your life to this new
goal, to this new habit.
So if you're just working on onething, you're going to work it
into your life.
You're going to in, I shouldn'tsay work it into your life.
You are going to schedule thetime in your life and you're
going to prioritize that.
But as you do that, it is easierto start working it into your
(07:12):
life so that you are your yourlife and your rhythm and the
natural flow of things is notresisting what you're trying to
do because you are focusing onone thing and you are doing it
consistently, so that you aremaking a change and you are
adapting your life.
It's easier to adapt your lifeto one new thing than it is to
(07:32):
try and adapt it to a wholebunch of things.
And one of the things that Ihave developed over time.
So when I first started, I'vetalked about this in the past.
So if you're new to the podcast,this will be your first time
hearing it.
But if you have been listeningfor a while, you will have heard
me use, you know, some of theseterms that I have in the past.
And one of the things that Istarted calling these new tools
and resources that helped me togo to through the healing
(07:54):
process are habits for healing.
I started recognizing it tookyears for me to develop the
symptoms that led to my bipolardiagnosis.
And then I lived with thosesymptoms for years.
And so when I was going throughthe healing process, it was not
going to be something thathappened overnight.
It was going to be somethingthat took time.
It takes time to heal.
(08:14):
It takes time to correct thesesymptoms and the sources of the
symptoms that have taken yearsto develop in the first place.
And so it's really important tofocus on not healing as an
event, but healing as a process,and that you are developing
habits for healing, habits thatare going to help move you
towards healing.
(08:36):
And the habits for healing thathelp me to recover from my
bipolar are outlined in my book.
So if you haven't heard my bookor read my book, you could hear
it too.
It's on, it's on uh umaudiobook.
But if you haven't read my book,I would encourage you to do
that.
I would encourage you to get acopy of my book, whether it's on
audiobook or or a hard copy orelectronic version and read the
(08:58):
book.
Because one of the things that Ido in the book is I talk about
how I develop these habits forhealing.
I actually go through theprocess of how I discovered it
and how I started learning howto use it effectively in my
life.
And then I talk about thespecific tool.
The way that the book isdesigned is as a self-help book.
It's designed for people to beable to use and apply these
things for themselves.
(09:18):
And something that I'm going tomention here, even though I talk
about and focus on helpingpeople who have bipolar disorder
or who have been diagnosed withbipolar disorder, these habits
and this process can helpanybody who is struggling in any
way in their life because theyare habits for healing.
They are things that are goingto help you take more
responsibility for yourself andlook for the sources of symptoms
(09:40):
in your life and the sources ofhabits in your life that are
causing distress.
It will help you take moreresponsibility for yourself and
help you look for the sourcesand then treat the sources using
these research-based tools thatwill help you resolve the
sources of symptoms, resolve thesources of the symptoms that
actually leads to healing andrecovery.
(10:03):
It's really important to makesure that you recognize that you
are not a victim unless youchoose to be a victim.
One of the things that's so hardon this, hard on people that are
given a diagnosis of bipolardisorder, is that it creates in
your mind this idea that you area victim, that you don't have
any control over the symptomsthat you are experiencing, that
(10:24):
it is some kind of underlyingdisorder or disease that is
beyond your control.
And that is not true.
It is possible to identify, foryou to become a detective in
your life and identify theunderlying sources of your
symptoms and treat those sourcesusing these research-based
integrated tools that lead torecovery and healing.
(10:46):
But you have to recognize thatyou have the ability to choose
that for yourself.
You are not a victim unless youchoose to be.
You are not a victim to thisdisorder, to these symptoms,
unless you choose to be.
So I want to go through todayand I want to talk about each of
the habits for healing that Iteach in my program, that I
(11:07):
share in my book, that help meto recover and that are helping
other people to recover.
And as I go through these, Iwant you to think about where
you are in your life right nowand what do you think might be
most beneficial to you?
Because I would encourage you aswe come to the go through this
podcast episode, that youidentify one thing that you are
going to be working beginworking on at the beginning of
(11:29):
this new year.
What is the one thing that youthink will be most beneficial to
you as you work towards healingand recovery and living a
healthy, productive life?
Living the life that you want tolive, becoming the person you
want to be.
So when I first started thehealing process, the very first,
(11:50):
and I didn't know, I've I'vetold you this before, but I
didn't know I was healing.
I believed what I had been toldabout bipolar being a lifelong
and curable condition.
And I was just looking for a wayto recover.
I was looking for for a way touh not recover, but I was
looking for a way to manage itbetter.
I had the experience that I'veshared in my book and that I've
(12:11):
shared before in the podcast,where I was home from my third
hospitalization.
I've made multiple attempts onmy life at that point and had
become totally hopeless.
And I truly believed thateverybody in my life would be
better off if I was not aroundanymore.
I was looking, my brain waslooking for a way to find
relief, and I was not finding itin the treatment.
(12:33):
And I was convinced that I wasruining everybody's lives, I was
ruining my husband's life, I wasruining my children's lives, and
I thought they would be betteroff if I was gone.
But I had an experience watchingmy young children play one day
when I realized that if I eversuccessfully ended my life, that
it would ruin my daughter'slife, that she would believe it
was her fault and it would ruinher life.
And from that point forward, Ibecame determined to find a way
(12:56):
to survive.
And then a little over a yearlater, after a third, a fourth
hospitalization, I was watchingmy children play and I had this
realization (13:04):
nobody is coming to save you.
You have to find a way to saveyourself.
And that was the beginning of mestarting to take responsibility
for myself.
You know, the the beginning of,you know, this realization that
I had to find a way to survivewas kind of the beginning of
that.
But I was just hanging on fordear life.
I still felt like a victim.
I felt still felt very helpless.
(13:26):
But when I had this otherexperience after my fourth
hospitalization, I startedrecognizing you've got to stop
being a victim.
You know these symptoms arecoming, you know they're coming.
So find a way to manage them.
Find a way to be more proactiveabout managing them.
Stop being a victim to themevery time.
And that was the beginning ofstep one, it which was the mood
cycle survival guide.
(13:48):
And this is step one in myprogram.
It's the free resource that Ioffer to anybody who just wants
something to help them becauseit's the first time that you
start to accept responsibilityfor yourself.
It's when you start recognizingyou can take ownership of these
symptoms and do something aboutit.
And the reason why this is sucha powerful tool is that you
(14:09):
acknowledge your need forassistance.
You start recognizing you'redrawing on other people all the
time for help.
But if you can, if you can sethealthy boundaries around that
assistance, you can maybepreserve the relationships
instead of burning them out.
It helps you to start becoming adetective in your life using the
early warning system.
Starting to pay attention toyour symptoms and call them out
(14:31):
for what they are.
And look for triggers in yourlife.
What are the things that areactually triggering the symptoms
to occur?
This is the beginning ofbecoming a detective.
That's a beginning of youbecoming proactive and starting
to identify what the sources ofthe symptoms are.
It's also you taking ownershipin step three of this mood of
this mood cycle survival guideof your emotional resources.
(14:55):
We can feel like a victim to oursymptoms when you're feeling
tremendous depression, whenyou're overwhelmed with
depression and you feel like youcan't function and you feel like
you're you're failing otherpeople, but then you feel like,
well, I can't help it.
You know, I just have thisdisorder and I just can't help
it.
There is a temptation to giveinto that victim mentality and
not take responsibility foryourself.
(15:17):
But learning how to manage youremotional resources by setting
power priorities is takingresponsibility for yourself.
It is recognizing what are thethings that matter most when I
have low emotional resources andI'm going to make sure those
things get my energy.
I am going to do those thingswhen I'm struggling so that the
things that matter most getdone.
(15:39):
And then the last step in thismood cycle survival guide is uh
rebooting your system.
What can I do proactively to getmyself back into a healthy,
balanced mental state?
So this step one is helping youto stop to choose to stop being
a victim.
You are going to choose to be anagent to act, not somebody to
(16:02):
be, you know, not a thing to beactive acted upon by your
symptoms and by your quoteunquote disorder.
You're not going to keep makingexcuses for your behavior.
You're going to start beingproactive about choosing how to
proactively manage yoursymptoms, how to become a
detective in your life and startlooking for sources of symptoms,
(16:23):
how to manage your emotionalresources and how to get
yourself back into a healthy,balanced mental state.
That is the step, the first stepon the road to healing is
starting to take responsibilityfor yourself and choosing not to
be a victim anymore.
The second step in the healingprocess was making sure that
you're making sure your braingets what it needs to function
in a healthy way.
(16:44):
It's so interesting to me.
I and if you haven't listened toepisodes 70, 71, and 72 of my
podcast, I would encourage youto go back.
Those are life-changingepisodes.
I had that privilege ofinterviewing the vice president
of True Hope, David Stefan, ashe talked about the history of
True Hope.
It's a micronutrient companythat was developed specifically
(17:06):
for the purpose of helping thefounder's children to get off of
psychotropic drugs to help theirbrains start to heal and
function in a healthy way.
It's it is remarkable what theydiscovered in this in this
process of trying to save hiskids' lives.
And it's interesting because wehave become so convinced that a
(17:28):
bipolar diagnosis is identifyinga chemical imbalance.
It's identifying an underlyingdisease.
And it's not true.
A bipolar diagnosis is onlyidentifying a cluster of
symptoms.
And those symptoms have sources.
And one of the underlyingsources of most people's mental
health distress is micronutrientinsufficiency.
(17:48):
It's one of the reasons whythere is such a dramatic
increase in the number of peoplewho are developing anxiety and
depression and even bipolarsymptoms, psychosis, because our
brains are not getting what theyneed to function in a healthy
way.
The four building blocks of theneurotransmitters in our brains,
according to David Stefan andthe research that has been done,
(18:09):
are number one vitamins, numbertwo, minerals, number three,
omega-3s, and number four aminoacids.
Our brains need all four ofthose and adequate levels in
order to build and produce theneurotransmitters that are
responsible for all of ouremotional response and the way
that our brain functions and theway that we respond to the world
(18:30):
and handle stress.
And if it's insufficient, if itis not getting a sufficient
level of those nutrients, itwon't function in a healthy way.
And it results, it can result invery serious symptoms.
One of the things that I get alot of pushback when I talk
about the benefits ofmicronutrients and helping to
heal, one of the main sources ofbipolar symptoms is that people
(18:51):
say, Yeah, but not psychosis,because we are convinced
psychosis is a very scarysymptom.
It really is.
So is mania.
They're scary symptoms.
And we've become convinced thatbecause those symptoms are
really scary, that they aresomehow an indication of some
kind of a disease that isgenetic that we don't have any
control over.
(19:12):
Truly, what it is, is our brainsare not getting what it needs to
function in a healthy way.
That is the one main, one of theunderlying sources of those
symptoms.
And so that step two, once youstart taking responsibility and
start becoming a detective inyour life, the second thing you
need to do is make sure yourbrain is getting what it needs
(19:32):
to function in a healthy way.
And if you're on psychotropicmedications and you're you're
wanting to titrate off of them,I urge you to do that with the
health of micronutrients becausewhat that helps you do, instead
of just taking the drug away,those psychotropic medications
change your brain chemistry.
They alter your brain chemistry,which is why people end up so
(19:54):
symptomatic when they go throughwithdrawal.
That's why people end up withserious symptoms.
Sometimes Life-threateningsymptoms when they try to
withdraw from the medications.
But if you will do it in a safeand very slow way using the
micronutrients, what happens isyour brain gets what it needs to
heal.
(20:14):
And then you're slowlywithdrawing the medication so
that it helps your brain adjustmore in a safer way.
And helps your brain actuallyheal and function.
And so I urge you, if you arewanting to come off of your
medications and you're ready,you think you're ready to start
this process, listen to thoseepisodes and check out my book
and learn more about how tosafely titrate off of
(20:36):
medications and help your brainactually heal.
The third step in the process,in the healing process, is
learning how to use therapy in aproactive way to heal, not just
for validation and coping.
Therapy can be very destructive.
If you are going to talk therapyand all you're doing is talking
(20:56):
about your problems and you'regetting validated constantly and
your emotions and your feelingsby your therapist, that is
counterproductive and it is notgoing to help you heal.
It is going to make thingsworse.
It is really crucial, if youwant to heal, that you learn how
to use therapy in a proactiveway.
It's really important that youunderstand that a therapist is
(21:18):
not an expert.
They are a facilitator.
And you need to find a competentfacilitator that is actually
going to help you heal and movetowards recovery, not just help
you stay stuck in yoursuffering.
Yes, it might feel good to go toa therapist and talk about your
problems, you know, talk aboutyour issues with your spouse or
your mother or whoever and bevalidated in your in your
(21:43):
frustration and in your point ofview, but that's not going to
help you heal.
If you are constantly gettingvalidated by your therapist, you
need a new therapist.
You need a therapist that isgoing to help you look for the
sources of your issues and treatthe source in a way that you are
in the driver's seat, notletting somebody else, you know,
(22:04):
dictate to you because, youknow, oh, you know, I I had a,
and I'm not, I shouldn't, I needto be careful.
I'm starting to get flippant inthis, but it gets, I get very
frustrated when I see people whoare have been going to therapy
for 20 years and are still nobetter off than they were before
because they don't know how touse therapy to actually heal.
You should not need therapy forthe rest of your life.
(22:26):
If you are in in therapy andyou've been in it for 10, 15, 20
years, you need a new therapist.
Because therapy, the goal oftherapy, should be helping you
identify the underlying sourcesof your symptoms.
If you have underlying, youknow, if you have trauma that
hasn't been processed, you needto find a competent trauma, you
know, therapist who is traumainformed, who has been trained
(22:49):
in modalities like EMDR orinternal family systems therapy.
Somebody who knows how to helpyou identify the underlying
trauma and treat that trauma ina way that will help you resolve
it so you can move on with yourlife.
You need a therapist who willhelp you identify unhealthy
coping mechanisms and unhealthythought behavior patterns that
(23:11):
are producing symptoms.
We can do this to ourselves.
We can create these symptoms forourselves because we've we've
our brain has come up with anunhealthy way to cope with
distress.
And we could be causing our ownsymptoms by the way that we
think about things.
So step three in the program ishelping you to identify how to
(23:32):
use therapy in a proactive wayto heal, not just cope and not
get validated by your therapist.
The fourth step in the program,and the fourth step on the path
to healing, is learning how topractice mindfulness meditation
in a way that will help youactually heal.
And it's interesting, I've had alot of people say that they've
tried meditation and it didn'thelp them.
(23:53):
And my pushback on that is thatyou probably haven't tried it in
a way that was actually going tohelp you understand the value of
the tool.
Because I believe, I trulybelieve, every person on this
earth would benefit from usingmindfulness meditation.
The point of mindfulnessmeditation is to put you back in
the driver's seat of your mind.
(24:15):
What are you, when you struggle,when people struggle with these
symptoms, often it feels likeyour brain has a mind of its own
and it's going to take you for aride every time it feels like
it.
And, you know, symptoms likeintrusive thoughts and negative
thoughts and you know, thesethings that are that plague us
in our minds can help us to feellike our mind is our enemy.
(24:36):
And, you know, the symptoms,like the the physical sensations
that go along with a traumaresponse, for example, can help
us, can cause us again to feellike a victim, like we are
helpless and we don't have anycontrol over what's going on in
our bodies and our minds.
Mindfulness is a way to startputting yourself back in the
driver's seat and to takecontrol of what's happening in
your mind and your body.
(24:57):
Take back control so that youare not being pulled along like
a helpless victim.
Mindfulness meditation can belife-changing if you learn how
to use it in a proactive way toheal.
The fifth step in the program isyoga.
And I again will get the samekinds of objections to yoga that
I get to mindfulness meditationoften.
(25:20):
Somebody will say, I tried yogaonce and I didn't like it.
And again, I say, I think thatmaybe you just tried it, you
know, a version of an approachto yoga that just wasn't
beneficial to you specifically.
But yoga, the goal of yoga isnot to be a skinny girl in
stretchy pants.
The goal of yoga is to learn howto reintegrate your mind and
(25:42):
your body.
One of the terrible effects ofthese mental health diagnoses,
and it is it kind of fracturesour mind and our body because we
become convinced that thedistress is all in our head,
that we have some kind of mentaldisorder that is, and it
separates our mind and our body.
And you can't, you shouldn't betrying to separate it.
(26:03):
It fractures us as a person.
The mind and body is all one.
We're all, it all workstogether.
You know, our brain sensesdistress and it sends signals to
the body, and the body reacts,and then the brain reacts to the
body, and it's it creates afeedback loop that that can put
us into a state of distress thatthat makes us feel like we don't
(26:23):
have any control over ourselvesanymore.
And learning how to practiceyoga helps take that mindfulness
practice into our entire bodyand helps us integrate ourselves
again and become much moreself-aware.
And the more self-aware webecome, the more effective we
become at being detectives inour lives and looking for the
sources of our symptoms andaddressing those sources with
(26:46):
tools that help us to heal.
Yoga can be a really powerfultool in this in this healing
process.
The sixth step in this in thisprocess is exercise.
And when I talk about exercisefor mental health and mental
healing, it's really importantto learn how to exercise in a
(27:06):
way that supports that goal.
We have, we are inundatedconstantly with messages of, you
know, online about losing weightand getting fit.
And those, there's notnecessarily anything wrong with
that.
But it's really important ifyou're working on healing and
overcoming emotional and mentaldistress, that you learn how to
(27:28):
use exercise in a way that willfacilitate healing and recovery
and not exacerbate symptoms.
Some people will gethyper-focused and it can become,
it can become a source of likehypomania when you get when you
are exercising like that, andthat is not sustainable.
You will crash at some point.
(27:49):
And it you don't want to dothat.
You want to find a practice, anexercise approach that is going
to be sustainable, lifelong.
And and it's you're exercisingfor your mind and your whole
self, not for the scale.
So learning how to exercise in away that is beneficial to your
mental health and your healingjourney is really important.
(28:12):
And then the step, the seventhstep in this process is learning
how to live mindfully, learninghow to take all of these habits
that you have developed anddevelop a habit for continuing
to integrate these resources andthese habits in your life in a
sustainable way so that youcontinue to move down the path
to recovery and healing.
(28:33):
I want to ask you guys aquestion.
I want you to consider this fora moment.
What is the reason that you wantto heal?
What is the reason that you wantto recover?
I've talked about this inprevious episodes, but I want to
encourage you to think about it.
If you are looking at the newyear and wanting to set goals,
why?
Why do you want to set goals foryourself?
Why do you want to improve?
Why do you want to heal?
(28:54):
Why do you want to live better?
Think about the reason why youwant to do that.
And then write it down.
And I want to encourage you tokind of dig down into the why.
My why at the very beginning wasmy children.
As I mentioned before, I had theexperience when I recognized
that if I ever successfullyended my life, I would ruin my
(29:16):
daughter's life.
And I knew her life had value.
At that point, I did not believemy life had any value.
I didn't think I had anything tooffer the world because I was
barely hanging on for dear lifeon a regular basis.
I was just surviving my life.
I didn't feel like I hadanything to offer the world, but
I knew my daughter did.
And I was willing to survive forher because I wanted her to have
(29:39):
a chance at a health, you know,at having a happy life.
And over time, as I, as I foughtto survive for my children, and
as I started to heal, I startedto find myself again.
And I started to see my value.
I started to feel my value andrecognize that I did have
something to offer to the world.
(30:00):
And that why that I hadoriginally of surviving for my
children evolved.
So I want to ask you to considerwhy this matters to you.
Why are you willing to set agoal for yourself?
Why, why would you like to?
Why would you like to heal?
Why would you like to changeyour life?
What is the what is yourmotivation?
And get that firmly in mindbecause when you're going
(30:21):
through the process of trying toset goals that are designed to
help you change significantthings about yourself, you have
to have a reason to keep doingit because it gets hard.
On the days that, you know, ifyou're if your focus is
mindfulness meditation rightnow, if that's the habit for
healing that you want to focuson, you have to have a reason to
keep doing it because sometimesyou just don't feel like doing
(30:43):
it.
You know, some mornings you getup and you're like, I don't want
to do that today.
Or sometimes you're ready to goto bed and you you haven't done
your meditation yet.
And it, you have to have areason that you're willing to
spend 10 minutes meditatingrather than just getting in bed
and going to sleep.
So make sure you have a clearreason why you're doing this.
And I would love to hear fromyou what your why is.
(31:04):
What is your motivation forworking on, you know, working on
healing and recovery?
What is it that you want out ofyour life?
What's worth the sacrifice andthe effort of healing?
And then I want to encourage youto think about what you can do
right now that will help moveyou towards healing.
And as I mentioned at the verybeginning, when we view our
(31:26):
lives and when you look atyourself and you think about all
of the things that you'restruggling with, we want to fix
all of it at one time.
You want it, you know, you wantto get on a better schedule and
you want to you want to be moreactive in your life, and you
want to, you want to gainself-control over your
outbursts.
You want to stop, you know,yelling or going into rages.
(31:48):
You want to stop spending moneycompulsively and and running
your debt up.
And and you want to be able to,you know, whatever it is, you
you want to be able to stopliving in in the manic
depressive cycle.
Whatever the thing is thatyou're wanting to change, don't
try to change it all at one timebecause it won't be sustainable
(32:09):
and you won't be successful.
Pick one habit for healing thatyou're going to work on.
What is the one thing that youthink of these seven habits that
I've talked about?
What's the one habit that youthink would be most beneficial
to you right now?
Have you developed a mid-cyclesurvival guide for yourself yet?
(32:29):
Have you started working onchoosing not to be a victim and
choosing to be proactive andmanaging your symptoms, in
setting healthy boundariesaround the assistance that you
asked for, in identifying thesources of your symptoms, and
managing your emotionalresources and learning how to
get yourself back into ahealthy, balanced mental state.
Have you worked on that yet?
(32:51):
If you haven't, I highlyencourage you to go sign up for
the mood cycle survival guide.
It's free.
Check in with me in the chatthere.
There's a Basecamp, UpsidersBasecamp chat that you can check
in and ask for advice about howto develop your mood cycle
survival guide.
Make that your priority.
Make that your goal.
You're going to work on it for10, 15 minutes every day.
(33:13):
You're going to work ondeveloping this mood cycle
survival guide for yourself.
If you're ready forcross-titration, if you're going
to work on that, that's yourpriority.
Make that your priority.
That's the thing you're going towork on right now.
If you're somebody who wouldlike support, you know, I, as I
mentioned before, that my bookis designed as a self-help book.
(33:35):
Somebody could potentially takethat book and go through each of
the steps and learn how to applyeach of the steps on their own.
I did it by myself.
It was really hard and it took along time that I was, I was able
to do it.
But I I encourage you, if youreally are serious about healing
and recovery, to considerjoining the upsiders tribe
(33:56):
because the upsiders tribe givesyou a place to be accountable,
to have a sense of community andbe encouraged by other people
going through the same process.
You get feedback from me andfrom the other people in the
tribe who are going through thesame thing, advice about how to
apply these tools and resourcesin an effective way.
(34:18):
The way that this tribe is setup, number one, you've got each
of there are seven modules forone for each of the habits that
help you learn how to apply thattool, how to how to develop that
tool for yourself and how toapply it and develop a habit for
healing.
Each module has weeklyassignments that you're going to
(34:40):
do and you know to work on, tostart working on developing this
habit for yourself.
And then we have weekly tribeZooms where everybody in the
tribe, everybody who's in theprogram, joins the Zoom and they
share how they're doing, youknow, how things went that week
on the whatever they're workingon.
And they get feedback from me.
You get coaching from me in thein the group, and then also
(35:01):
feedback from other members ofthe group who've maybe have gone
through that already and haveadvice about how they were able
to be effective in applying thattool and developing that habit.
And then once a month, you get aone-on-one session with me so
that we make sure that you areon track, that you are working
on the things that are going tobe most beneficial to you and at
your point in the healing andrecovery process.
(35:23):
So if you're ready to heal andyou want support, I encourage
you to consider joining theUpsiders Tribe.
It is a tremendous program thatreally offers support and
encouragement and guidance inthe healing and recovery
process.
Regardless, I hope that you willchoose a habit to work on.
What is your habit for healingthat is going to help you move
(35:46):
towards your why?
Move towards the goal that youhave for yourself, the desire
that you have for yourself, foryour life.
Pick something and begin the newyear with new hope that you can
move towards healing andrecovery.
If you have any questions, Iencourage you to go into the
show notes and send me an email.
(36:07):
My link to my email is in there.
Comment on our social media andlet us know how things are going
for you.
If you haven't started the MoodCycle Survival Guide yet, join
that.
It's free.
If you have any questions, letme know.
And I will see you on the nextepisode.
Until next time, upsiders.
(36:32):
Thanks for joining me on theUpside of Bipolar.
Your journey to recoverymatters, and I'm grateful you're
here.
For more resources, visitwww.theupsideofbipolar.com.
If you're ready to dive deeper,grab my book, The Upside of
Bipolar (36:46):
Seven Steps to Heal Your Disorder.
If you're ready to heal yoursymptoms, join my monthly
membership, The Upsiders Tribe,to transform chaos into hope.
Until next time, Upsiders
It takes time to heal.
It takes time to correct thesesymptoms and the sources of the
symptoms that have taken yearsto develop in the first place.
And so it's really important tofocus on not healing as an
event, but healing as a process,and that you are developing
habits for healing, habits thatare going to help move you
(00:20):
towards healing.
Welcome to the Upside ofBipolar, where we uncover the
true sources of bipolar symptomsand share proven tools for
recovery.
I'm your host, MichelleReitinger, number one
international best-sellingauthor of the Upside of Bipolar
Seven Steps to Heal YourDisorder.
In this podcast, I bring yousolo insights from my journey
(00:42):
and guest interviews withleading researchers and experts.
Join us to transform chaos intohope and reclaim your life.
Let's heal together.
(01:03):
I'm so excited for this comingyear.
I feel a tremendous amount ofhope and optimism for the
future.
And I know that that can bereally hard when you're
struggling with bipolardisorder.
If you've had these symptoms fora long time and you have been
through a lot of new years, youmay have been like I used to be,
where you get really excited atthe beginning of the new year
(01:24):
and you feel like maybe thisyear can be different.
You start making plans forchanges and things that you're
going to do differently and hopethat this year it will stick.
I know that when I used to gocome into the new year in the
past, when I was reallystruggling with my bipolar
symptoms, I would try to make awhole bunch of changes all at
one time.
I was very unhappy in my lifeand feeling very discouraged on
(01:46):
a regular basis and especiallyafter the holidays.
The holidays were really hardbecause I would get hypomatic
going into the holidays and thencrash afterwards.
And so a lot of times what I wasdoing with my New Year's
resolutions was trying to getmyself out of a depressive
episode and wanting to makechanges to my life.
I didn't like the cycles that Iwas living in.
I didn't like the symptoms thatI had.
(02:08):
And I wanted to change things.
And so I would set out with awhole bunch of goals.
I'm a very goal-driven person.
I have been since my childhood.
And so I would set up a bunch ofnew goals in the hopes that I
could make things different,that I could change my life,
that I could change the cyclesthat I experienced, that I could
stop the symptoms.
And inevitably, every year, Iwould try to make a whole bunch
(02:30):
of changes at one time.
I would often get hypomanic inthe attempt and then crash.
It was just part of the cycle.
I would get hypomanic and thencrash, hypomanic and then crash.
And I started to have this weirdanxiety going into the new year.
There was a little bit of methat wanted to continue to have
hope, but there, you know, ourbrains learn from experience.
(02:53):
And my brain had learned overthe previous, you know, New
Year's experiences that everyyear I would try and every year
I would fail.
One of the things that I learnedwhen I went through the healing
process, however, is that youneed to change the way that you
approach the new year.
I think there's a tremendousamount of value in this
(03:14):
opportunity to check in withyourself.
When you approach the new year,though, it's really important to
approach it in a way that youcan actually make sustainable
changes.
And what I would encourage youas we go through this episode is
to consider what your patternis.
What has your pattern been?
(03:35):
Are you a goal-driven person?
Are you somebody that likes totry and make changes to your
life?
Do you get caught up in the NewYear's resolution craze?
Do you try to make a whole bunchof changes to your life at one
time and then fail?
Or are you somebody that thinksI nothing's going to get any
better, nothing's going tochange, so I'm just going to
keep keep on keeping on and justkeep surviving my life?
(03:58):
I'd love to hear from you.
So if you want to let me knowwhat kind of person you are and
what kind of person you want tobe, let me know.
Send me an email and let meknow.
But in this episode, what we'regoing to talk about is how to
approach the new year in a waythat is actually going to help
you start making changes thatwill be lasting and help move
you towards recovery andhealing.
(04:19):
So the first thing that Ilearned is to make sure that you
are focusing on one thing at atime.
If you are approaching the newyear and you want to make
changes, what is the one thingthat you think would be most
beneficial to you?
What is one thing that you couldwork on?
And the reason why focusing onone thing at a time has value is
(04:39):
number one, it helps keep yourbrain, your mind from being
fractured and your attentionfrom being fractured.
When you are trying to make awhole bunch of changes at one
time, you're trying to thinkabout a bunch of different
things at one time.
And our minds want, you know,there's there's a term in
science called homeostasis thatwe keeps trying to find
equilibrium.
And the way that we have beenliving up to this point
(05:02):
generally is a product of habit.
And we've been, you know, kindof gotten into a rhythm in our
life.
And so we even if it's a, evenif you're living in, you know,
bipolar cycles, if you're ifused to living, you know, with
mania and then depression andthen mania and then depression,
that is a habit.
Like that cycle is a habit.
And your brain knows toanticipate it.
(05:25):
If you start feeling yourselfgetting in or starting to get
hypomatic, if you start feelingyourself going into mania, your
brain knows what comesafterwards.
And it's in that habit.
It's in that cycle.
And so if you focus on one thingat a time, it helps you to focus
on it and give your attention toit so that your attention is not
fractured.
(05:45):
And that attention can help youprioritize what you're trying to
work on.
Number two, it helps you learnhow to keep promises to
yourself.
One of the things I struggledwith for years when I was
struggling with bipolar symptomsis failing to keep promises to
myself.
I would, I would convince myselfthat this time things were going
to be different.
(06:06):
This time, you know, when itcame to like, for example, by my
bipolar rage symptoms, next timeI have an issue with, you know,
a trigger, I'm not going to gointo a bipolar rage.
And so every time that wouldhappen, and I and I would go
into that dissociative rage, Iwould feel discouraged and I
would feel like I couldn't trustmyself, like I couldn't count on
(06:28):
myself.
So focusing on one thing that isthat is attainable and
sustainable, one goal, will helpyou start to make promises to
yourself and keep promises toyourself, and you start to trust
yourself more and you start tohave confidence in yourself.
The third thing that focusing onone thing will help you do is
(06:49):
that it is easier to startadapting your life to this new
goal, to this new habit.
So if you're just working on onething, you're going to work it
into your life.
You're going to in, I shouldn'tsay work it into your life.
You are going to schedule thetime in your life and you're
going to prioritize that.
But as you do that, it is easierto start working it into your
(07:12):
life so that you are your yourlife and your rhythm and the
natural flow of things is notresisting what you're trying to
do because you are focusing onone thing and you are doing it
consistently, so that you aremaking a change and you are
adapting your life.
It's easier to adapt your lifeto one new thing than it is to
(07:32):
try and adapt it to a wholebunch of things.
And one of the things that Ihave developed over time.
So when I first started, I'vetalked about this in the past.
So if you're new to the podcast,this will be your first time
hearing it.
But if you have been listeningfor a while, you will have heard
me use, you know, some of theseterms that I have in the past.
And one of the things that Istarted calling these new tools
and resources that helped me togo to through the healing
(07:54):
process are habits for healing.
I started recognizing it tookyears for me to develop the
symptoms that led to my bipolardiagnosis.
And then I lived with thosesymptoms for years.
And so when I was going throughthe healing process, it was not
going to be something thathappened overnight.
It was going to be somethingthat took time.
It takes time to heal.
(08:14):
It takes time to correct thesesymptoms and the sources of the
symptoms that have taken yearsto develop in the first place.
And so it's really important tofocus on not healing as an
event, but healing as a process,and that you are developing
habits for healing, habits thatare going to help move you
towards healing.
(08:36):
And the habits for healing thathelp me to recover from my
bipolar are outlined in my book.
So if you haven't heard my bookor read my book, you could hear
it too.
It's on, it's on uh umaudiobook.
But if you haven't read my book,I would encourage you to do
that.
I would encourage you to get acopy of my book, whether it's on
audiobook or or a hard copy orelectronic version and read the
(08:58):
book.
Because one of the things that Ido in the book is I talk about
how I develop these habits forhealing.
I actually go through theprocess of how I discovered it
and how I started learning howto use it effectively in my
life.
And then I talk about thespecific tool.
The way that the book isdesigned is as a self-help book.
It's designed for people to beable to use and apply these
things for themselves.
(09:18):
And something that I'm going tomention here, even though I talk
about and focus on helpingpeople who have bipolar disorder
or who have been diagnosed withbipolar disorder, these habits
and this process can helpanybody who is struggling in any
way in their life because theyare habits for healing.
They are things that are goingto help you take more
responsibility for yourself andlook for the sources of symptoms
(09:40):
in your life and the sources ofhabits in your life that are
causing distress.
It will help you take moreresponsibility for yourself and
help you look for the sourcesand then treat the sources using
these research-based tools thatwill help you resolve the
sources of symptoms, resolve thesources of the symptoms that
actually leads to healing andrecovery.
(10:03):
It's really important to makesure that you recognize that you
are not a victim unless youchoose to be a victim.
One of the things that's so hardon this, hard on people that are
given a diagnosis of bipolardisorder, is that it creates in
your mind this idea that you area victim, that you don't have
any control over the symptomsthat you are experiencing, that
(10:24):
it is some kind of underlyingdisorder or disease that is
beyond your control.
And that is not true.
It is possible to identify, foryou to become a detective in
your life and identify theunderlying sources of your
symptoms and treat those sourcesusing these research-based
integrated tools that lead torecovery and healing.
(10:46):
But you have to recognize thatyou have the ability to choose
that for yourself.
You are not a victim unless youchoose to be.
You are not a victim to thisdisorder, to these symptoms,
unless you choose to be.
So I want to go through todayand I want to talk about each of
the habits for healing that Iteach in my program, that I
(11:07):
share in my book, that help meto recover and that are helping
other people to recover.
And as I go through these, Iwant you to think about where
you are in your life right nowand what do you think might be
most beneficial to you?
Because I would encourage you aswe come to the go through this
podcast episode, that youidentify one thing that you are
going to be working beginworking on at the beginning of
(11:29):
this new year.
What is the one thing that youthink will be most beneficial to
you as you work towards healingand recovery and living a
healthy, productive life?
Living the life that you want tolive, becoming the person you
want to be.
So when I first started thehealing process, the very first,
(11:50):
and I didn't know, I've I'vetold you this before, but I
didn't know I was healing.
I believed what I had been toldabout bipolar being a lifelong
and curable condition.
And I was just looking for a wayto recover.
I was looking for for a way touh not recover, but I was
looking for a way to manage itbetter.
I had the experience that I'veshared in my book and that I've
(12:11):
shared before in the podcast,where I was home from my third
hospitalization.
I've made multiple attempts onmy life at that point and had
become totally hopeless.
And I truly believed thateverybody in my life would be
better off if I was not aroundanymore.
I was looking, my brain waslooking for a way to find
relief, and I was not finding itin the treatment.
(12:33):
And I was convinced that I wasruining everybody's lives, I was
ruining my husband's life, I wasruining my children's lives, and
I thought they would be betteroff if I was gone.
But I had an experience watchingmy young children play one day
when I realized that if I eversuccessfully ended my life, that
it would ruin my daughter'slife, that she would believe it
was her fault and it would ruinher life.
And from that point forward, Ibecame determined to find a way
(12:56):
to survive.
And then a little over a yearlater, after a third, a fourth
hospitalization, I was watchingmy children play and I had this
realization (13:04):
nobody is coming to save you.
You have to find a way to saveyourself.
And that was the beginning of mestarting to take responsibility
for myself.
You know, the the beginning of,you know, this realization that
I had to find a way to survivewas kind of the beginning of
that.
But I was just hanging on fordear life.
I still felt like a victim.
I felt still felt very helpless.
(13:26):
But when I had this otherexperience after my fourth
hospitalization, I startedrecognizing you've got to stop
being a victim.
You know these symptoms arecoming, you know they're coming.
So find a way to manage them.
Find a way to be more proactiveabout managing them.
Stop being a victim to themevery time.
And that was the beginning ofstep one, it which was the mood
cycle survival guide.
(13:48):
And this is step one in myprogram.
It's the free resource that Ioffer to anybody who just wants
something to help them becauseit's the first time that you
start to accept responsibilityfor yourself.
It's when you start recognizingyou can take ownership of these
symptoms and do something aboutit.
And the reason why this is sucha powerful tool is that you
(14:09):
acknowledge your need forassistance.
You start recognizing you'redrawing on other people all the
time for help.
But if you can, if you can sethealthy boundaries around that
assistance, you can maybepreserve the relationships
instead of burning them out.
It helps you to start becoming adetective in your life using the
early warning system.
Starting to pay attention toyour symptoms and call them out
(14:31):
for what they are.
And look for triggers in yourlife.
What are the things that areactually triggering the symptoms
to occur?
This is the beginning ofbecoming a detective.
That's a beginning of youbecoming proactive and starting
to identify what the sources ofthe symptoms are.
It's also you taking ownershipin step three of this mood of
this mood cycle survival guideof your emotional resources.
(14:55):
We can feel like a victim to oursymptoms when you're feeling
tremendous depression, whenyou're overwhelmed with
depression and you feel like youcan't function and you feel like
you're you're failing otherpeople, but then you feel like,
well, I can't help it.
You know, I just have thisdisorder and I just can't help
it.
There is a temptation to giveinto that victim mentality and
not take responsibility foryourself.
(15:17):
But learning how to manage youremotional resources by setting
power priorities is takingresponsibility for yourself.
It is recognizing what are thethings that matter most when I
have low emotional resources andI'm going to make sure those
things get my energy.
I am going to do those thingswhen I'm struggling so that the
things that matter most getdone.
(15:39):
And then the last step in thismood cycle survival guide is uh
rebooting your system.
What can I do proactively to getmyself back into a healthy,
balanced mental state?
So this step one is helping youto stop to choose to stop being
a victim.
You are going to choose to be anagent to act, not somebody to
(16:02):
be, you know, not a thing to beactive acted upon by your
symptoms and by your quoteunquote disorder.
You're not going to keep makingexcuses for your behavior.
You're going to start beingproactive about choosing how to
proactively manage yoursymptoms, how to become a
detective in your life and startlooking for sources of symptoms,
(16:23):
how to manage your emotionalresources and how to get
yourself back into a healthy,balanced mental state.
That is the step, the first stepon the road to healing is
starting to take responsibilityfor yourself and choosing not to
be a victim anymore.
The second step in the healingprocess was making sure that
you're making sure your braingets what it needs to function
in a healthy way.
(16:44):
It's so interesting to me.
I and if you haven't listened toepisodes 70, 71, and 72 of my
podcast, I would encourage youto go back.
Those are life-changingepisodes.
I had that privilege ofinterviewing the vice president
of True Hope, David Stefan, ashe talked about the history of
True Hope.
It's a micronutrient companythat was developed specifically
(17:06):
for the purpose of helping thefounder's children to get off of
psychotropic drugs to help theirbrains start to heal and
function in a healthy way.
It's it is remarkable what theydiscovered in this in this
process of trying to save hiskids' lives.
And it's interesting because wehave become so convinced that a
(17:28):
bipolar diagnosis is identifyinga chemical imbalance.
It's identifying an underlyingdisease.
And it's not true.
A bipolar diagnosis is onlyidentifying a cluster of
symptoms.
And those symptoms have sources.
And one of the underlyingsources of most people's mental
health distress is micronutrientinsufficiency.
(17:48):
It's one of the reasons whythere is such a dramatic
increase in the number of peoplewho are developing anxiety and
depression and even bipolarsymptoms, psychosis, because our
brains are not getting what theyneed to function in a healthy
way.
The four building blocks of theneurotransmitters in our brains,
according to David Stefan andthe research that has been done,
(18:09):
are number one vitamins, numbertwo, minerals, number three,
omega-3s, and number four aminoacids.
Our brains need all four ofthose and adequate levels in
order to build and produce theneurotransmitters that are
responsible for all of ouremotional response and the way
that our brain functions and theway that we respond to the world
(18:30):
and handle stress.
And if it's insufficient, if itis not getting a sufficient
level of those nutrients, itwon't function in a healthy way.
And it results, it can result invery serious symptoms.
One of the things that I get alot of pushback when I talk
about the benefits ofmicronutrients and helping to
heal, one of the main sources ofbipolar symptoms is that people
(18:51):
say, Yeah, but not psychosis,because we are convinced
psychosis is a very scarysymptom.
It really is.
So is mania.
They're scary symptoms.
And we've become convinced thatbecause those symptoms are
really scary, that they aresomehow an indication of some
kind of a disease that isgenetic that we don't have any
control over.
(19:12):
Truly, what it is, is our brainsare not getting what it needs to
function in a healthy way.
That is the one main, one of theunderlying sources of those
symptoms.
And so that step two, once youstart taking responsibility and
start becoming a detective inyour life, the second thing you
need to do is make sure yourbrain is getting what it needs
(19:32):
to function in a healthy way.
And if you're on psychotropicmedications and you're you're
wanting to titrate off of them,I urge you to do that with the
health of micronutrients becausewhat that helps you do, instead
of just taking the drug away,those psychotropic medications
change your brain chemistry.
They alter your brain chemistry,which is why people end up so
(19:54):
symptomatic when they go throughwithdrawal.
That's why people end up withserious symptoms.
Sometimes Life-threateningsymptoms when they try to
withdraw from the medications.
But if you will do it in a safeand very slow way using the
micronutrients, what happens isyour brain gets what it needs to
heal.
(20:14):
And then you're slowlywithdrawing the medication so
that it helps your brain adjustmore in a safer way.
And helps your brain actuallyheal and function.
And so I urge you, if you arewanting to come off of your
medications and you're ready,you think you're ready to start
this process, listen to thoseepisodes and check out my book
and learn more about how tosafely titrate off of
(20:36):
medications and help your brainactually heal.
The third step in the process,in the healing process, is
learning how to use therapy in aproactive way to heal, not just
for validation and coping.
Therapy can be very destructive.
If you are going to talk therapyand all you're doing is talking
(20:56):
about your problems and you'regetting validated constantly and
your emotions and your feelingsby your therapist, that is
counterproductive and it is notgoing to help you heal.
It is going to make thingsworse.
It is really crucial, if youwant to heal, that you learn how
to use therapy in a proactiveway.
It's really important that youunderstand that a therapist is
(21:18):
not an expert.
They are a facilitator.
And you need to find a competentfacilitator that is actually
going to help you heal and movetowards recovery, not just help
you stay stuck in yoursuffering.
Yes, it might feel good to go toa therapist and talk about your
problems, you know, talk aboutyour issues with your spouse or
your mother or whoever and bevalidated in your in your
(21:43):
frustration and in your point ofview, but that's not going to
help you heal.
If you are constantly gettingvalidated by your therapist, you
need a new therapist.
You need a therapist that isgoing to help you look for the
sources of your issues and treatthe source in a way that you are
in the driver's seat, notletting somebody else, you know,
(22:04):
dictate to you because, youknow, oh, you know, I I had a,
and I'm not, I shouldn't, I needto be careful.
I'm starting to get flippant inthis, but it gets, I get very
frustrated when I see people whoare have been going to therapy
for 20 years and are still nobetter off than they were before
because they don't know how touse therapy to actually heal.
You should not need therapy forthe rest of your life.
(22:26):
If you are in in therapy andyou've been in it for 10, 15, 20
years, you need a new therapist.
Because therapy, the goal oftherapy, should be helping you
identify the underlying sourcesof your symptoms.
If you have underlying, youknow, if you have trauma that
hasn't been processed, you needto find a competent trauma, you
know, therapist who is traumainformed, who has been trained
(22:49):
in modalities like EMDR orinternal family systems therapy.
Somebody who knows how to helpyou identify the underlying
trauma and treat that trauma ina way that will help you resolve
it so you can move on with yourlife.
You need a therapist who willhelp you identify unhealthy
coping mechanisms and unhealthythought behavior patterns that
(23:11):
are producing symptoms.
We can do this to ourselves.
We can create these symptoms forourselves because we've we've
our brain has come up with anunhealthy way to cope with
distress.
And we could be causing our ownsymptoms by the way that we
think about things.
So step three in the program ishelping you to identify how to
(23:32):
use therapy in a proactive wayto heal, not just cope and not
get validated by your therapist.
The fourth step in the program,and the fourth step on the path
to healing, is learning how topractice mindfulness meditation
in a way that will help youactually heal.
And it's interesting, I've had alot of people say that they've
tried meditation and it didn'thelp them.
(23:53):
And my pushback on that is thatyou probably haven't tried it in
a way that was actually going tohelp you understand the value of
the tool.
Because I believe, I trulybelieve, every person on this
earth would benefit from usingmindfulness meditation.
The point of mindfulnessmeditation is to put you back in
the driver's seat of your mind.
(24:15):
What are you, when you struggle,when people struggle with these
symptoms, often it feels likeyour brain has a mind of its own
and it's going to take you for aride every time it feels like
it.
And, you know, symptoms likeintrusive thoughts and negative
thoughts and you know, thesethings that are that plague us
in our minds can help us to feellike our mind is our enemy.
(24:36):
And, you know, the symptoms,like the the physical sensations
that go along with a traumaresponse, for example, can help
us, can cause us again to feellike a victim, like we are
helpless and we don't have anycontrol over what's going on in
our bodies and our minds.
Mindfulness is a way to startputting yourself back in the
driver's seat and to takecontrol of what's happening in
your mind and your body.
(24:57):
Take back control so that youare not being pulled along like
a helpless victim.
Mindfulness meditation can belife-changing if you learn how
to use it in a proactive way toheal.
The fifth step in the program isyoga.
And I again will get the samekinds of objections to yoga that
I get to mindfulness meditationoften.
(25:20):
Somebody will say, I tried yogaonce and I didn't like it.
And again, I say, I think thatmaybe you just tried it, you
know, a version of an approachto yoga that just wasn't
beneficial to you specifically.
But yoga, the goal of yoga isnot to be a skinny girl in
stretchy pants.
The goal of yoga is to learn howto reintegrate your mind and
(25:42):
your body.
One of the terrible effects ofthese mental health diagnoses,
and it is it kind of fracturesour mind and our body because we
become convinced that thedistress is all in our head,
that we have some kind of mentaldisorder that is, and it
separates our mind and our body.
And you can't, you shouldn't betrying to separate it.
(26:03):
It fractures us as a person.
The mind and body is all one.
We're all, it all workstogether.
You know, our brain sensesdistress and it sends signals to
the body, and the body reacts,and then the brain reacts to the
body, and it's it creates afeedback loop that that can put
us into a state of distress thatthat makes us feel like we don't
(26:23):
have any control over ourselvesanymore.
And learning how to practiceyoga helps take that mindfulness
practice into our entire bodyand helps us integrate ourselves
again and become much moreself-aware.
And the more self-aware webecome, the more effective we
become at being detectives inour lives and looking for the
sources of our symptoms andaddressing those sources with
(26:46):
tools that help us to heal.
Yoga can be a really powerfultool in this in this healing
process.
The sixth step in this in thisprocess is exercise.
And when I talk about exercisefor mental health and mental
healing, it's really importantto learn how to exercise in a
(27:06):
way that supports that goal.
We have, we are inundatedconstantly with messages of, you
know, online about losing weightand getting fit.
And those, there's notnecessarily anything wrong with
that.
But it's really important ifyou're working on healing and
overcoming emotional and mentaldistress, that you learn how to
(27:28):
use exercise in a way that willfacilitate healing and recovery
and not exacerbate symptoms.
Some people will gethyper-focused and it can become,
it can become a source of likehypomania when you get when you
are exercising like that, andthat is not sustainable.
You will crash at some point.
(27:49):
And it you don't want to dothat.
You want to find a practice, anexercise approach that is going
to be sustainable, lifelong.
And and it's you're exercisingfor your mind and your whole
self, not for the scale.
So learning how to exercise in away that is beneficial to your
mental health and your healingjourney is really important.
(28:12):
And then the step, the seventhstep in this process is learning
how to live mindfully, learninghow to take all of these habits
that you have developed anddevelop a habit for continuing
to integrate these resources andthese habits in your life in a
sustainable way so that youcontinue to move down the path
to recovery and healing.
(28:33):
I want to ask you guys aquestion.
I want you to consider this fora moment.
What is the reason that you wantto heal?
What is the reason that you wantto recover?
I've talked about this inprevious episodes, but I want to
encourage you to think about it.
If you are looking at the newyear and wanting to set goals,
why?
Why do you want to set goals foryourself?
Why do you want to improve?
Why do you want to heal?
(28:54):
Why do you want to live better?
Think about the reason why youwant to do that.
And then write it down.
And I want to encourage you tokind of dig down into the why.
My why at the very beginning wasmy children.
As I mentioned before, I had theexperience when I recognized
that if I ever successfullyended my life, I would ruin my
(29:16):
daughter's life.
And I knew her life had value.
At that point, I did not believemy life had any value.
I didn't think I had anything tooffer the world because I was
barely hanging on for dear lifeon a regular basis.
I was just surviving my life.
I didn't feel like I hadanything to offer the world, but
I knew my daughter did.
And I was willing to survive forher because I wanted her to have
(29:39):
a chance at a health, you know,at having a happy life.
And over time, as I, as I foughtto survive for my children, and
as I started to heal, I startedto find myself again.
And I started to see my value.
I started to feel my value andrecognize that I did have
something to offer to the world.
(30:00):
And that why that I hadoriginally of surviving for my
children evolved.
So I want to ask you to considerwhy this matters to you.
Why are you willing to set agoal for yourself?
Why, why would you like to?
Why would you like to heal?
Why would you like to changeyour life?
What is the what is yourmotivation?
And get that firmly in mindbecause when you're going
(30:21):
through the process of trying toset goals that are designed to
help you change significantthings about yourself, you have
to have a reason to keep doingit because it gets hard.
On the days that, you know, ifyou're if your focus is
mindfulness meditation rightnow, if that's the habit for
healing that you want to focuson, you have to have a reason to
keep doing it because sometimesyou just don't feel like doing
(30:43):
it.
You know, some mornings you getup and you're like, I don't want
to do that today.
Or sometimes you're ready to goto bed and you you haven't done
your meditation yet.
And it, you have to have areason that you're willing to
spend 10 minutes meditatingrather than just getting in bed
and going to sleep.
So make sure you have a clearreason why you're doing this.
And I would love to hear fromyou what your why is.
(31:04):
What is your motivation forworking on, you know, working on
healing and recovery?
What is it that you want out ofyour life?
What's worth the sacrifice andthe effort of healing?
And then I want to encourage youto think about what you can do
right now that will help moveyou towards healing.
And as I mentioned at the verybeginning, when we view our
(31:26):
lives and when you look atyourself and you think about all
of the things that you'restruggling with, we want to fix
all of it at one time.
You want it, you know, you wantto get on a better schedule and
you want to you want to be moreactive in your life, and you
want to, you want to gainself-control over your
outbursts.
You want to stop, you know,yelling or going into rages.
(31:48):
You want to stop spending moneycompulsively and and running
your debt up.
And and you want to be able to,you know, whatever it is, you
you want to be able to stopliving in in the manic
depressive cycle.
Whatever the thing is thatyou're wanting to change, don't
try to change it all at one timebecause it won't be sustainable
(32:09):
and you won't be successful.
Pick one habit for healing thatyou're going to work on.
What is the one thing that youthink of these seven habits that
I've talked about?
What's the one habit that youthink would be most beneficial
to you right now?
Have you developed a mid-cyclesurvival guide for yourself yet?
(32:29):
Have you started working onchoosing not to be a victim and
choosing to be proactive andmanaging your symptoms, in
setting healthy boundariesaround the assistance that you
asked for, in identifying thesources of your symptoms, and
managing your emotionalresources and learning how to
get yourself back into ahealthy, balanced mental state.
Have you worked on that yet?
(32:51):
If you haven't, I highlyencourage you to go sign up for
the mood cycle survival guide.
It's free.
Check in with me in the chatthere.
There's a Basecamp, UpsidersBasecamp chat that you can check
in and ask for advice about howto develop your mood cycle
survival guide.
Make that your priority.
Make that your goal.
You're going to work on it for10, 15 minutes every day.
(33:13):
You're going to work ondeveloping this mood cycle
survival guide for yourself.
If you're ready forcross-titration, if you're going
to work on that, that's yourpriority.
Make that your priority.
That's the thing you're going towork on right now.
If you're somebody who wouldlike support, you know, I, as I
mentioned before, that my bookis designed as a self-help book.
(33:35):
Somebody could potentially takethat book and go through each of
the steps and learn how to applyeach of the steps on their own.
I did it by myself.
It was really hard and it took along time that I was, I was able
to do it.
But I I encourage you, if youreally are serious about healing
and recovery, to considerjoining the upsiders tribe
(33:56):
because the upsiders tribe givesyou a place to be accountable,
to have a sense of community andbe encouraged by other people
going through the same process.
You get feedback from me andfrom the other people in the
tribe who are going through thesame thing, advice about how to
apply these tools and resourcesin an effective way.
(34:18):
The way that this tribe is setup, number one, you've got each
of there are seven modules forone for each of the habits that
help you learn how to apply thattool, how to how to develop that
tool for yourself and how toapply it and develop a habit for
healing.
Each module has weeklyassignments that you're going to
(34:40):
do and you know to work on, tostart working on developing this
habit for yourself.
And then we have weekly tribeZooms where everybody in the
tribe, everybody who's in theprogram, joins the Zoom and they
share how they're doing, youknow, how things went that week
on the whatever they're workingon.
And they get feedback from me.
You get coaching from me in thein the group, and then also
(35:01):
feedback from other members ofthe group who've maybe have gone
through that already and haveadvice about how they were able
to be effective in applying thattool and developing that habit.
And then once a month, you get aone-on-one session with me so
that we make sure that you areon track, that you are working
on the things that are going tobe most beneficial to you and at
your point in the healing andrecovery process.
(35:23):
So if you're ready to heal andyou want support, I encourage
you to consider joining theUpsiders Tribe.
It is a tremendous program thatreally offers support and
encouragement and guidance inthe healing and recovery
process.
Regardless, I hope that you willchoose a habit to work on.
What is your habit for healingthat is going to help you move
(35:46):
towards your why?
Move towards the goal that youhave for yourself, the desire
that you have for yourself, foryour life.
Pick something and begin the newyear with new hope that you can
move towards healing andrecovery.
If you have any questions, Iencourage you to go into the
show notes and send me an email.
(36:07):
My link to my email is in there.
Comment on our social media andlet us know how things are going
for you.
If you haven't started the MoodCycle Survival Guide yet, join
that.
It's free.
If you have any questions, letme know.
And I will see you on the nextepisode.
Until next time, upsiders.
(36:32):
Thanks for joining me on theUpside of Bipolar.
Your journey to recoverymatters, and I'm grateful you're
here.
For more resources, visitwww.theupsideofbipolar.com.
If you're ready to dive deeper,grab my book, The Upside of
Bipolar (36:46):
Seven Steps to Heal Your Disorder.
If you're ready to heal yoursymptoms, join my monthly
membership, The Upsiders Tribe,to transform chaos into hope.
Until next time, Upsiders
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