September 7, 2026 • 41 mins
My life flipped upside down after an unexpected separation and divorce, and I have leaned on the exact habits that helped me heal my bipolar symptoms in the first place. I share how recovery tools for bipolar symptoms also work for real-life storms, so you can process pain without losing your balance.
In this episode:
• a personal timeline of separation, moving, and divorce while protecting family privacy
• using the Mood Cycle Survival Guide as a default plan
• building a response team and asking for help early
• avoiding the extremes of hiding until crisis or talking about struggles nonstop
• setting healthy boundaries that protect relationships and prevent burnout
• tracking early warning signs to catch triggers and symptom patterns sooner
• adjusting micronutrients under high stress and why sleep and anxiety can spike
• choosing trauma-informed therapy modalities that target root causes
• practicing mindfulness meditation to process emotions instead of suppressing them
• combining meditation with deep journaling to clarify thoughts and beliefs
• using exercise and yoga to support stability without mood triggers
• planning forward with mindful living and bullet journaling during major change
If you haven't already, please get a copy of my book, The Upside of Bipolar: 7 Steps to Heal Your Disorder. If you haven't already got a copy of the Mood Cycle Survival Guide, go in the show notes and grab a copy of that.
FREE Mood Cycle Survival Guide: https://theupsideofbipolar.com/free/
The Upside of Bipolar: 7 Steps to Heal Your Disorder: @upsideofbipolar | Linktree
website: https://theupsideofbipolar.com/
email: michelle@theupsideofbipolar.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theupsideofbipolar/
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Life is hard.
It's beautiful.
I've had wonderful experiencesover the past 10 months with my
daughter and making new friendsand exploring new interests.
Um I don't want to it to soundlike life is just hard all the
time.
But but the reality is thatthere is a lot of difficulty in
(00:22):
life.
And if you can uh develop thesehabits as you heal from your
bipolar symptoms.
Welcome to the Upside ofBipolar, where we uncover the
true sources of bipolar symptomsand share proven tools for
(00:43):
recovery.
I'm your host, MichelleReitinger, number one
international best-sellingauthor of the Upside of Bipolar
Seven Steps to Heal YourDisorder.
In this podcast, I bring yousolo insights from my journey
and guest interviews withleading researchers and experts.
Join us to transform chaos intohope and reclaim your life.
Let's heal together.
(01:09):
Welcome to the Upside ofBipolar.
I am your host, MichelleReitinger, and today in my solo
episode, I am doing a lifeupdate.
And it's not because I think I'mso special, but it's because I
have been through tremendousupheaval in my life in the last
10 months that I have been ableto manage it in a really healthy
(01:30):
way because of all the tools andresources that I have developed
and the habits that I havedeveloped over the years that
are that I share in my book, TheUpside of Bipolar, Seven Steps
to Heal Your Disorder, and in myprogram and on my podcast.
All of these tools and habitshave helped sustain me and
helped me to navigate a reallydifficult time in my life in a
(01:52):
really healthy way.
And I want to share that withyou so that maybe it can help
you in your own healing journey.
So I'm just gonna jump in.
10 months ago, at the beginningof November, I went through an
unexpected separation from mynow ex-husband.
(02:14):
He was my husband at the time.
And I ended up moving out withmy youngest daughter.
And uh I didn't realize at thetime that it was the beginning
of the end of my marriage, butum, by the end of March of 2026,
this year earlier this year, Iwas divorced.
(02:36):
And I haven't talked a lot aboutit.
There are a few people that I'veshared this with, but I haven't
talked a lot about it, largelybecause obviously it's deeply
personal and private, and umit's been very difficult to go
through this.
It was not something that I hadever anticipated.
(02:58):
Um, my divorce was final onemonth before my 24th wedding
anniversary, and I neverimagined myself in this place.
But I have been so grateful forall of the healing that I've
gone through up to this pointand for all of the tools and
habits that I have developedover the years that have helped
(03:20):
me to navigate this unexpectedupheaval uh in my life in a
really healthy way.
I am not going to share thedetails about why we got
divorced because I want torespect the privacy of my
ex-husband and, of course, mychildren.
Um, I will say, I've I have hadpeople ask me this question, so
(03:43):
I will say that this was notrelated to my mental health.
Um, the things that I have gonethrough with my mental health
have not did not influence thisseparation and divorce.
So I will say that, but I'm notgoing to share the details.
It's not necessarily pertinentto this discussion anyway, and
and I want to respect myex-husband and my children and
(04:05):
their privacy.
But I want to talk about howthese tools and resources have
helped me because I have to sayI'm I'm kind of in awe at how I
have been able to navigate this.
I did go through anybody who'sread my book knows so that I
went through a divorce.
Uh, this is my second divorce,unfortunately.
(04:26):
And I went through a divorceback in 1993 from an abusive
marriage, and I did not have thetools or the resources or any
understanding of how to navigatethat tremendous upheaval.
And that actually was one of thekey factors that led to my
bipolar diagnosis in the firstplace because I didn't know how
to handle it.
(04:47):
It was, it was a horriblesituation, and there was a lot
of trauma, and I didn't have thetools or capacity to handle it
and got severely depressed,started experiencing moods, mood
swings, and ended up with adiagnosis and on drugs.
And that was one of the mainfactors that led to my bipolar
(05:07):
symptoms in the first place.
But when I went through theseparation back at the beginning
of November, during that firstfew weeks, I automatically
started utilizing the tools frommy mood cycle survival guide.
If you have not heard about mymood cycle survival guide, if
this is the first time or youknow you've listened to my
(05:28):
podcast or you have onlylistened to a few episodes and
this is new information for you,um, this is a tool that I
developed for myself back in thebeginning of this development of
this tool was back in 2009 aftera fourth hospitalization, where
I had this realization thatnobody was coming to save me.
I was doing everything thedoctors told me to do, taking
(05:51):
all my medication, you know,following all the things that I
was being told to do, and I justkept getting worse and I kept
ending up in the hospital.
And I had young children that Iwas trying to care for, and this
realization that I had to find adifferent way to approach my
bipolar diagnosis and my bipolarsymptoms because what I was
(06:13):
doing wasn't working.
And everything that I was beingtold to do by the doctors and
therapists was not working.
It was not helping me.
I was suffering, my family wassuffering, and I had to find
something different.
And so when I first developedthis tool for myself, and when I
help others in my program, andwhen people get this as a free
(06:34):
resource online, I have themwrite it down because this is a
totally different way of lookingat things.
And in order to start developingthis resource for yourself, you
have to work through the processof consciously looking at each
of the steps.
There's four steps in the moodcycle survival guide.
And you have to go through theprocess of consciously
(06:56):
evaluating each step andthinking about it and
identifying the different piecesto that part of the tool that
you're going to utilize, andthen conscientiously start
applying and utilizing thatresource.
And but just like any other toolor habit, the more you use it,
(07:17):
the more it just becomes part ofyou.
And so when I was separated backin the beginning of November, I
automatically started utilizingthat tool.
It was just, it was justautomatic.
I don't have a written oneanymore.
It's just I shouldn't say Idon't have a written, I don't
have a written, like formal moodcycle survival guide.
(07:38):
I just know how to use thosetools.
And so I will write out, forexample, the first step in that
tool is your response team.
And I knew I would need support.
Um, I was very, at that timewhen I first separated, I didn't
know that this was leading todivorce.
And so I was keeping it very,very private at the time.
(07:58):
But I still had people thatwere, that were on my response
team that were people that I wasturning to for assistance
because I needed help.
I was in uncharted territory formyself, um, you know, newly
separated and dealing with a lotof emotional upheaval.
And I had a child, my12-year-old daughter, well, she
(08:19):
was 11 at the time, um, that Ineeded to care for and help her
navigate the emotional upheavalthat she was experiencing.
And so I had people that were onmy response team that I knew I
could turn to.
Um, my mom was the number oneperson.
She's, you know, she's been oneof my greatest supporters in my
(08:41):
life.
I love my mother and she'ssomebody that I can count on.
And um we have a really healthyrelationship and healthy
boundaries that's come through alot of work and diligence and
and um developing a reallyhealthy relationship with each
other.
And so she was one of my numberone people on that, on that team
(09:04):
of people that I turned to.
Um, I am religious, I am amember of a church, and so I
immediately established myselfwith a congregation in the new
area that I was living in and uhwent to the leaders of the
various organizations that I wasa part of.
So the women's organization, Iwent to that person and just let
(09:24):
her know who I was and and why Iwas there.
And um, I went to the leader ofthe organization over the my
daughter's age and talked to herand just made her aware of it.
Um, I went to the to leader ofthe overall congregation and
just you know introduced myselfso that I so that they knew why
I was who I was and that I whatI was going through.
(09:48):
Um and and I would know who Icould ask for help if I needed
help.
So one of the things that I wantto talk about that I don't know
that I've really talked aboutbefore is there are two kind of
extremes that oftentimes peoplewill um go to when they are
dealing with mental healthstruggles.
(10:08):
On the one side, there are timeswhen people hide what they're
experiencing because they'reembarrassed about it.
And they don't tell anybody whatthey're struggling with until
they're in crisis.
And the problem that thatcreates is it it makes it hard
to ask for help because you'reso embarrassed by what you're
experiencing that you don't wantpeople to know.
(10:29):
So you just don't tell anybody,and so you're suffering and it
kind of can compound thesuffering because you're you're
suffering alone and it can itcan isolate you.
And and that leads to not askingfor help until you're in crisis,
until you can't hide it anymore,until you can't um until you
(10:52):
have to have help, right?
And then if that is the patternthat you follow, then the only
time you're asking for help iswhen you're in crisis and you
can burn out resources that way,because you're you're not
identifying, you know, who to goto or setting healthy boundaries
or anything like that.
You're just waiting until you'rein crisis and then then you you
(11:14):
know reach out in desperation towhoever you happen to reach out
to.
And if if that repeats over andover again, you can damage the
relationship, you can burnbridges, it can it can do
tremendous damage if you're ifyou're not asking for help until
you're in crisis.
The other side of that issomebody who talks all the time
(11:34):
about the problems that they'rehaving.
That's all they talk about.
You know, they're they'restruggling, and so the only
thing that they talk about arehow much they're struggling.
And that can kind of create aboy who cried wolf type
situation where people are sotired of hearing you that they
don't know that you really meanit when you're when you really
do need help.
(11:55):
Or if you're asking for help allthe time, you burn the bridges
and they and nobody wants tohelp you because they just are
exhausted and and they don'thave the capacity or energy to
continue to support somebodywho's struggling all the time.
So the goal of this part of themood cycle survival guide is to
learn how to identify what arewhat are the things that you
(12:18):
need help with, who are thepeople that you can reach out
to, and what are the healthyboundaries around that
assistance.
And so one of the things that ithas done for me over the years
is learning how to identify andrecognize what am I going to
need help with?
It's a skill that I'vedeveloped.
It's and it's interesting totalk about that in terms of it
(12:39):
being a skill, but especiallywhen somebody struggles with
their mental health, um, youneed to learn how to identify,
like, what do I need help with?
And, you know, whether that'syou know, emotional assistance
from a therapist or, you know,working through trauma, you
know, healing that those aspectsof it, um, working with like for
(13:02):
me, I don't take medication.
I utilize true hope supplements.
And so knowing that, you know,when I'm experiencing, if I
start to experience symptomsthat are related to
micronutrient insufficiency,knowing that I can reach out to
true hope and making sure that Irecognize that and that I do it.
And I'll talk a little bit moreabout the supplements and how
they support your brain asyou're experiencing stressful
(13:24):
experiences, but understandingwhat the help is that you need
and then who can assist you withthat, with that, that need.
And then what are the healthyboundaries around that
assistance so that you respectthe relationship and it can help
you maintain those connectionsand those relationships in a
healthy way so that you don'tburn bridges.
(13:48):
As I went, you know, the otherthing, one of the other things
that I that I applied, uhanother thing that I applied
from this mood cycle survivalguide as I was going through
this, navigating this last 10months was the early warning
system.
And while you're going throughhealing from bipolar, this is uh
the early warning system iscritical because you need to
(14:08):
identify mood swings and andsymptoms and triggers and red
flags so that you start to bemore proactive about addressing
those things as early aspossible.
You eliminate triggers.
Um, you are able to identifylike what the symptoms mean.
You start to recognize you know,this symptoms, these symptoms
(14:30):
when I experience are relatedto, you know, micronutrient
insufficiency, and I need tomake an adjustment to my
supplements, or these symptomsare a trauma response.
And I need to identify like whatare the triggers for this trauma
and take it to a therapist andwork through it with the
therapist.
But as you learn how to look atthese symptoms with curiosity,
(14:51):
then you can be more proactiveabout managing them and more
proactive about identifying thesources of the symptoms and
addressing the sources withtools that actually help you
resolve them.
So as I started going throughthis, this really awful upheaval
in my life, I startedexperiencing symptoms, which are
(15:14):
not symptoms of mental illness.
They're symptoms that arerelated to emotional distress
from a really difficultexperience.
This is this is life.
Life is hard.
And so I started recognizing,for example, that I was, I can
tell now because of all the timethat I've spent looking at what
(15:35):
my body is trying to tell me,what my mind is trying to tell
me, that I got to a point whereI started thinking, I think I
need to make an adjustment to mysupplements.
And I was able to call truehope.
And I'll talk to a little bitmore about that in more um
specifically later.
But I, because I have done somuch work in understanding what
my brain and my body are tellingme and what I need to do to
(15:57):
address that, with that part ofmy mood cycle survival guide,
the early warning system, I wasable to identify like what do I
need right now?
What are the things that aregoing to help me address this
need that is coming up as I'mgoing through this upheaval in
my life?
And the the third part of themood cycle survival guide, the
(16:19):
power priorities, was absolutelycritical for me.
This was, I had to make surethere were things that had to be
done over the past 10 monthsthat I could not avoid.
And there were other things inmy life that I needed to let go
of while I went through that, sothat I was able to maintain my
(16:39):
emotional and mental well-being,take care of myself and take
care of my daughter, andcontinue to provide.
And so there were a number ofthings, especially over the
summer.
We went through a move at thebeginning, well, halfway through
the summer.
And towards at the beginning ofthe summer, when I when this all
this process started of themove, like packing and and you
(17:02):
know, securing a place to liveand all of those things, and
then going through in the middleof the summer, going through the
move, I recognized pretty earlythat this was going to be really
a this is going to be a lotemotionally, physically,
mentally, not just for me, butfor my daughter.
And that I needed to step backfrom a lot of things, which is
why I did almost no podcastepisodes over the summer.
(17:24):
I didn't post on social media.
I did the bare minimum for mybusiness.
Um, I, you know, met with,continue to meet with my clients
and take care of thosecommitments.
But I anything that I didn'thave to be doing, I took, I, I
put on pause as we went throughthis transition in order to make
sure that the things thatmattered most were addressed.
(17:46):
And of course, I made sure thatI was taking care of my
self-care routine and the thingsthat were going to help me
continue navigating the healingprocess for myself and for my
daughter.
And then the final part of themood cycle survival guide was
the getting myself back to ahealthy, balanced mental place.
And that's ongoing.
(18:08):
You know, I'm continuing tonavigate, you know, the healing
process, but it's I know what todo and how to navigate it in a
way that I have been able tofeel peace and and be able to be
balanced mentally andemotionally, be there for my
daughter so that she has ahappy, healthy mom that is there
(18:28):
for her.
And so I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful that I that Ideveloped this tool for myself
earlier and that I used it inreally extreme circumstances so
that it became automatic.
When I needed that that resourcefor myself, it was not something
I had to have somebody remind meto use.
(18:49):
It was something that I alreadyhad as part of my habits in my
own life.
And it was automatic and I knewhow to apply it because I had
utilized it over and over andover again throughout the
healing process over the past 16years.
The second piece, the secondpart of this.
So I as I went through this, asI was preparing for to talk to
(19:11):
you today about this, I actuallywent through this last 10 months
and reviewed the last 10 monthsand recognized that every single
tool that I share in my book, Iutilized over the past 10
months.
So I'm just gonna go through onestep at a time, through those
seven steps for healing, andshare with you how that applied
(19:33):
as I was navigating this reallydifficult time.
So I've shared with you stepone, which was the mood cycle
survival guide.
Step two in the process ismicronutrients and medication.
And obviously, I haven't been onmedication since 2010, was when
I titrated off.
And but I I continued to takemicronutrients and I had uh a
(19:54):
few months where I was startingto have sleep disruption and I
was starting to struggle withsome anxiety symptoms, and they
were starting to increase.
And I recognized, you know, Iwas I was using all the other
tools that I that I used, but asI was using those and I
continued to feel these anxietysymptoms intensifying and
(20:14):
experiencing sleep disruption, Ihad this realization one day
that I needed to contact TrueHope.
I thought, you know, I one ofthe things that I've learned
over the years is that when yougo through a lot, you know, very
stressful experiences, that yourbrain burns through
micronutrients faster.
It's just like somebody, so ifif there was a high-level
athlete or an athlete of anykind, actually, who increases
(20:36):
their the intensity of theirtraining or the frequency of
their training, if they increasethe training, your body needs
more because it has to providemore fuel.
The same thing is true for ourbrains.
If you increase the stress inyour life and the intensity of
your experiences, if you'regoing through really difficult
(20:57):
circumstances or intense things,your brain will start burning
through micronutrients fasterand it needs it needs more
support.
And I just had this realizationone day, you're experiencing
symptoms that you know arerelated to micronutrient, your
micronutrient intake.
So I contacted True Hope andtalked with it, talked it over
(21:17):
with them, talked about thesymptoms.
And I, because of my mood cyclesurvival guide, I had been, you
know, paying attention to thesymptoms and tracking them.
So I was able to give goodinformation to them and they
agreed that I needed to make anadjustment.
And so I adjusted themicronutrient intake.
And within a couple of days,those symptoms had subsided.
And it's such a huge reliefbecause one of the things that
(21:38):
happens when you experiencesymptoms that are of any kind is
that your brain detects thesymptom and it starts to worry
and starts to look at all of thethings that are going on around
you looking for the danger.
It goes into fight or flight,and that intensifies the
symptoms and it creates afeedback loop.
(22:00):
And so it's really, reallyimportant to pay attention to
those, you know, that earlywarning system, to pay attention
to the symptoms and address itas quickly as possible so that
you don't, you can interruptthat feedback loop by addressing
the source of the symptoms.
So for in that situation, thatpart of the experience, I
recognized my brain was going,was under a tremendous amount of
(22:23):
stress, my body was under atremendous amount of stress, and
I needed more.
My brain needed more.
And so I would contacted TrueHope and they helped me adjust
my supplements and it resolvedthe symptoms.
So the third step in the healingprocess is therapy.
And I am forever grateful that Ireally went for it years ago.
(22:46):
Um, I've shared before when I'vetalked about therapy that I back
in 2019, I made the decisionthat I was going to go to
therapy until I had nothing leftto talk about.
And I and I was very umdeliberate in choosing a
therapist that could actuallyhelp me identify and and heal
(23:06):
unhealed trauma.
So I was deliberate inidentifying, and I used EMDR,
but I've I've had reallyfantastic therapists on my on my
podcast that have talked aboutdifferent therapy modalities.
IFS, um uh I'm forgetting CMS.
Um there's a number of differentuh treatment modalities that I
(23:30):
have that I've shared on mypodcast that help people to get
to the source of theirsuffering, to get to the source
of the symptoms, and then treatthe source of the symptoms.
One of the challenges when youjust go to any random therapist
is that you can end up justtalking about your problems and
staying in the upper part ofyour brain.
And that doesn't help youresolve the source.
(23:52):
It can actually make thingsworse because you're focusing on
something that you cannotresolve through talking about
it.
And so if you have unhealedtrauma or deeply seated beliefs
that that date back to, youknow, events from childhood or
younger years, um, patterns inyour life, unhealthy thought and
(24:13):
behavior patterns, if you justgo talk about it, it's not going
to resolve it.
And so when I went to therapyyears ago, I was really
intentional about identifying atrauma-informed therapist that
would be able to help meidentify unhealed trauma,
unhealthy thought and behaviorpatterns, um, unhealthy coping
mechanisms, and then addressthose things at the root so that
(24:36):
we could resolve them and Icould heal and heal the sources
of those symptoms that hadresulted from that unhealed
trauma.
So I had done a lot of work withthe with therapy, and I had I
had resolved most of the sourcesof my symptoms.
So when I went through this, I Ihad there was absolutely, there
(25:00):
were absolutely things that cameup, um, things that were
unhealthy in the marriage, um,unhealthy in my way of
approaching my relationship andthe way of viewing myself that I
needed to address.
And so I found a trauma-informedtherapist that uh specialized in
(25:21):
the types of treatmentmodalities that I knew would be
beneficial.
And I went to five sessions withher.
I didn't go to therapy for along time.
I was able to go to fivesessions with her and work
through these sources ofdistress that were coming up
because of this uh separationand then divorce and resolve the
(25:45):
sources there, you know, come upwith, you know, being able to
develop healthier ways oflooking at things, um,
addressing, you know, thesources of those beliefs and
behaviors and coping that helpedme to resolve a lot of those
underlying issues that coming upbecause of this divorce.
(26:07):
And so therapy, I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful, number one,that I had done all that work to
begin with.
So it was years, it was severalyears of really working hard
with a, you know, diligentlywith a therapist to resolve the
unhealed trauma for my past andum and unhealthy thought and
(26:29):
behavior patterns, unhealthycoping mechanisms.
And then I also knew how to useit when I was going through
something that was that I neededhelp with.
Uh a divorce after almost 24years of, well, over 24 years of
being together, but almost 24years of marriage is traumatic.
And the recognition of theunhealthy things that were in
(26:52):
the marriage that I hadn'tunderstood until after we were
separated, needed to be workedthrough.
I needed somebody to help mework through those things.
And thankfully, I had alreadydeveloped the tool, the skill of
identifying the type of therapythat I needed to utilize and how
to be proactive in working withthat therapist so that I could
(27:14):
heal.
So then, number four, the fourthstep in the healing process that
the tool that I had developedwas mindfulness meditation.
And that was unbelievablyhelpful in this process.
One of the things that is sodamaging about the general
approach to mental health isthat we view emotions and
(27:37):
symptoms as good or bad,desirable or undesirable.
And when we have what we woulddeem bad emotions or bad
symptoms, we don't want toexperience them.
And so we seek out help, and apsychiatrist gives us drugs to
suppress them.
And it will prevent us fromlearning how to process those
(28:02):
emotions and how to navigatethose symptoms.
And it it's like it's itprevents us from developing a
necessary skill set for handlinglife and handling crisis in our
lives.
And I'm not saying that thereare not, one of the things that
I want to mention here is I'mnot saying that there is no
(28:25):
place for psychotropic drugdrugs.
I view psychotropic medicationsas a an isolated short-term
solution to crisis.
So if meaning, if somebody is adanger to themselves or others,
that's probably a time that weneed to utilize uh psychotropic
(28:46):
medication temporarily.
And I view that through thesame, you know, through similar
to somebody who's running atemperature, you know, a fever
of 105, we need to give themsomething immediately to bring
their temperature down so thatit doesn't do brain damage.
But that is not a long-termsolution because that is not
actually identifying andaddressing the source of the
(29:09):
fever.
It is simply attempting tosuppress the fever.
And so when we are experiencingdistress from unhealed trauma
or, you know, difficult life,really challenging, difficult
life circumstances, it's reallyimportant to develop the skill
(29:31):
to be able to sit with thoseemotions and process them.
And so learning how to practicemindfulness meditation was a
game changer for me.
And I'm so grateful that I hadspent so many years cultivating
that habit and that skill sothat when I was going through
this really painful, difficultexperience in my life, I had
(29:56):
developed a skill of learninghow to sit with painful
emotions, with difficultemotions, with unpleasant
emotions, so that I couldprocess them and so that I could
explore where, you know, that'sinteresting.
I wonder why I feel that way.
And I did a lot of journaling,you know, combined with the
(30:18):
meditation.
So one of the things that Istarted doing was, you know,
spending time meditating andthen spending a lot of time
after that journaling the thingsthat came up as I meditated.
And I have I filled like I thinkI can't remember exactly, I
think I filled six journals in10 months, cover to cover,
(30:40):
because I was working throughprocessing the emotions that I
was experiencing and thethoughts that I was having come
up.
And and it was it has helped metremendously in being able to
heal and and you know, processwhat has happened in my life in
(31:02):
this situation.
And it's something that that Ideveloped over the process of
healing.
I developed that ability to sitwith the emotions and allow the
emotions just to be, and thenlook with curiosity at them
instead of judgment to explorethe sources of those those
(31:22):
emotions that I wasexperiencing.
So I'm like forever grateful formindfulness.
And I talk to people all thetime about this.
Like, I think they should berequiring mindfulness training
in in elementary schools.
I think it's a life skill thateverybody could benefit from.
The next piece was um exerciseand yoga, and I'm gonna talk
(31:45):
about those together becausethat's how I've been utilizing
them.
And I'm really grateful that Iwasn't trying to develop an
exercise yoga routine while Iwas going through this.
This was already a habit that Ihad developed over the healing
process over the past 16 years.
And it took a lot of trial anderror as I went through the
(32:06):
healing process to learn how toexercise in a way that best
supports me emotionally,mentally, and physically.
Um, you know, my in my book, Italk about how I used to train
for events.
I would train for triathlons andfor 5Ks.
I did a half marathon when I wassix weeks pregnant with my last
(32:26):
child.
Um, I loved, I was a competitiveathlete.
And so that was my experiencewith exercise, you know, from my
youth.
And so when I was trying toutilize exercise in my healing
process from bipolar, I wastraining for events.
And after a while, as I was, asI was going through the healing
(32:47):
process, started recognizingthat training for events and
pushing myself was actuallytriggering mood swings in me
because I was triggering ahypomanic state in myself while
I was training, and then I wouldget depressed afterwards.
And so, and I'm not saying thatit's not, you know, if somebody
is going through somethingdifficult, I'm not saying that
it is bad to train for an event.
(33:10):
Um, I actually, my my youngestdaughter and I um trained for a
5K together while we were goingthrough this.
And it wasn't like training,intense training.
It was just we signed up for itand then we just walked
regularly together.
She we tried a little bit ofrunning, but she's not a fan of
running.
So I did running on my own formy own exercise.
(33:31):
And then she and I would just goon walks and we we did a 5K
together.
So I'm not saying that it's badto do those things.
What I am saying is it'scritical to learn how to utilize
exercise in a way that supportsyou mentally, emotionally.
It supports your mental healthgoals, your your emotional
(33:52):
health, and your helps you to umprocess stress.
It helps you to handle stressmore.
It helps you to, you know, yogais really helpful with this too.
So I I encourage people toutilize walking or running
because it's easy as far as likeit doesn't require any fancy
(34:13):
equipment other than a good pairof shoes.
You don't have to have a gymmembership, you don't have to go
anywhere other than out yourdoor and on your walk or on your
run.
And it's very, very beneficial,especially if you're not using
headphones.
You can actually incorporate,you know, aspects of mindfulness
while you're exercising that canbe really helpful.
(34:35):
Um, and yoga, uh, because I haveused yoga, you know, over the
last 16 years of my healingprocess, I knew which types of
yoga were going to be mosthelpful to me as I was
navigating the emotions of thislife, you know, upheaval.
And so I already had those toolsin place because I had used
(35:02):
them, because I've used themover the past 16 years in my
healing process.
And they are a consistent partof my self-care.
I consistently utilize thosethings.
And that's because I've beenusing them, figuring out how to
use them and learning how toapply them and developing habits
around them over the past 16years.
(35:24):
And then finally, step seven inthe healing process was, you
know, is of course mindfulliving.
So, how do you move forward inyour life?
What do you, how do youincorporate all of these things
to continue to move forward inyour healing process?
And that has been reallycritical for me.
Um, I use bullet journaling as amindful practice, mindfulness
(35:46):
practice, in helping me to makedecisions, which have been has
been really essential fornavigating this total life
change for me.
I thought that I knew what mylife was going to be like moving
forward.
Um, and all of a sudden,everything was up-ended, and I
(36:08):
had to come up with a new planfor my life.
And because I had developed thisskill of mindfulness and working
on mindful living, I knew how todo that.
I use bullet journaling to, youknow, brainstorm, you know, what
are the things that I'mstruggling with?
(36:28):
What are the things that I needto figure out?
And what are the resources andtools?
You know, I have a practice,consistent practice each day of
working on those things already.
And that was a tool that I thatI used in my healing process
from bipolar that I was able toapply as I was trying to come up
with a new plan for my life.
(36:51):
All of these skills, all ofthese tools that you utilize in
the healing process are habitsfor healing that will help you
in your life.
These are not things that youwill utilize only when you're
going through the healingprocess from bipolar, and then
you will never need again.
These are tools, these arehabits that will help you be
able to navigate life.
(37:14):
Life is hard.
It's beautiful.
I've had wonderful experiencesover the past 10 months with my
daughter and making new friendsand exploring new interests.
Um I don't want to it to soundlike life is just hard all the
time, but but the reality isthat there is a lot of
(37:35):
difficulty in life.
And if you can develop thesehabits as you heal from your
bipolar symptoms, as you healfrom depression and anxiety, and
as you heal from trauma, as youlearn how to develop a new way
(37:58):
to live so that you areproactive and intentional about
understanding what thesesymptoms mean for you in your
life, and how to identify andapply the tools necessary to
address the underlying issues.
It will help you stay mentallyhealthy and balanced throughout
(38:20):
life storms, throughout life'sdifficulties.
I will be forever grateful forall of the all of the help that
I've had over the years and allof the tools that I've
discovered through my researchand all the things that I
utilized in my own healingprocess because they helped me
navigate one of the most painfulexperiences of my life in a way
(38:41):
that helped me to heal, ishelping me to heal, and to move
forward with confidence towardsa future that is looking
brighter and brighter every day.
I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful that I that Ididn't need to turn to a
psychiatrist to suppressemotions that I didn't know how
(39:03):
to handle.
And I'm not saying that injudgment.
I'm saying that that it's thereis hope for learning how to
handle these types of ofexperiences in your life without
having to turn to psychotropicmedications that could make
things worse long term.
It is possible to live ahealthy, balanced life to heal
(39:28):
from bipolar symptoms and tolive a purposeful, meaningful,
fulfilling, happy life, nomatter the challenges you
experience.
If you are struggling, if youare would like to learn more
(39:49):
about these tools, I encourageyou, if you haven't already,
please get a copy of my book,The Upside of Bipolar: Seven
Steps to Heal Your Disorder.
It's designed as a self-helpbook.
The first four chapters of thebook are my story, the my story
of what led to my bipolardiagnosis and my years of
treatment in the psychiatricsystem.
(40:11):
And then the next seven chaptersare the tools that I discovered
that help me to identify theunderlying sources of my
symptoms and then treat thoseunderlying sources using these
research-based tools that helpme to actually heal.
It is possible to treat theunderlying sources and heal.
It's possible.
(40:33):
If you have questions, you'rewelcome to reach out to me.
My email is in the show notes.
If you haven't already got acopy of the Mood Cycle Survival
Guide, go in the show notes andgrab a copy of that.
I look forward to hearing fromyou, and I will see you next
time on the next episode of theUpside of Bipolar.
Until next time, Upsiders.com.
(41:14):
If you're ready to dive deeper,grab my book, The Upside of
Bipolar, seven steps to healyour disorder.
If you're ready to heal yoursymptoms, join my monthly
membership, The Upsiders Tribe,to transform chaos into hope.
Until next time, Upsiders
Life is hard.
It's beautiful.
I've had wonderful experiencesover the past 10 months with my
daughter and making new friendsand exploring new interests.
Um I don't want to it to soundlike life is just hard all the
time.
But but the reality is thatthere is a lot of difficulty in
(00:22):
life.
And if you can uh develop thesehabits as you heal from your
bipolar symptoms.
Welcome to the Upside ofBipolar, where we uncover the
true sources of bipolar symptomsand share proven tools for
(00:43):
recovery.
I'm your host, MichelleReitinger, number one
international best-sellingauthor of the Upside of Bipolar
Seven Steps to Heal YourDisorder.
In this podcast, I bring yousolo insights from my journey
and guest interviews withleading researchers and experts.
Join us to transform chaos intohope and reclaim your life.
Let's heal together.
(01:09):
Welcome to the Upside ofBipolar.
I am your host, MichelleReitinger, and today in my solo
episode, I am doing a lifeupdate.
And it's not because I think I'mso special, but it's because I
have been through tremendousupheaval in my life in the last
10 months that I have been ableto manage it in a really healthy
(01:30):
way because of all the tools andresources that I have developed
and the habits that I havedeveloped over the years that
are that I share in my book, TheUpside of Bipolar, Seven Steps
to Heal Your Disorder, and in myprogram and on my podcast.
All of these tools and habitshave helped sustain me and
helped me to navigate a reallydifficult time in my life in a
(01:52):
really healthy way.
And I want to share that withyou so that maybe it can help
you in your own healing journey.
So I'm just gonna jump in.
10 months ago, at the beginningof November, I went through an
unexpected separation from mynow ex-husband.
(02:14):
He was my husband at the time.
And I ended up moving out withmy youngest daughter.
And uh I didn't realize at thetime that it was the beginning
of the end of my marriage, butum, by the end of March of 2026,
this year earlier this year, Iwas divorced.
(02:36):
And I haven't talked a lot aboutit.
There are a few people that I'veshared this with, but I haven't
talked a lot about it, largelybecause obviously it's deeply
personal and private, and umit's been very difficult to go
through this.
It was not something that I hadever anticipated.
(02:58):
Um, my divorce was final onemonth before my 24th wedding
anniversary, and I neverimagined myself in this place.
But I have been so grateful forall of the healing that I've
gone through up to this pointand for all of the tools and
habits that I have developedover the years that have helped
(03:20):
me to navigate this unexpectedupheaval uh in my life in a
really healthy way.
I am not going to share thedetails about why we got
divorced because I want torespect the privacy of my
ex-husband and, of course, mychildren.
Um, I will say, I've I have hadpeople ask me this question, so
(03:43):
I will say that this was notrelated to my mental health.
Um, the things that I have gonethrough with my mental health
have not did not influence thisseparation and divorce.
So I will say that, but I'm notgoing to share the details.
It's not necessarily pertinentto this discussion anyway, and
and I want to respect myex-husband and my children and
(04:05):
their privacy.
But I want to talk about howthese tools and resources have
helped me because I have to sayI'm I'm kind of in awe at how I
have been able to navigate this.
I did go through anybody who'sread my book knows so that I
went through a divorce.
Uh, this is my second divorce,unfortunately.
(04:26):
And I went through a divorceback in 1993 from an abusive
marriage, and I did not have thetools or the resources or any
understanding of how to navigatethat tremendous upheaval.
And that actually was one of thekey factors that led to my
bipolar diagnosis in the firstplace because I didn't know how
to handle it.
(04:47):
It was, it was a horriblesituation, and there was a lot
of trauma, and I didn't have thetools or capacity to handle it
and got severely depressed,started experiencing moods, mood
swings, and ended up with adiagnosis and on drugs.
And that was one of the mainfactors that led to my bipolar
(05:07):
symptoms in the first place.
But when I went through theseparation back at the beginning
of November, during that firstfew weeks, I automatically
started utilizing the tools frommy mood cycle survival guide.
If you have not heard about mymood cycle survival guide, if
this is the first time or youknow you've listened to my
(05:28):
podcast or you have onlylistened to a few episodes and
this is new information for you,um, this is a tool that I
developed for myself back in thebeginning of this development of
this tool was back in 2009 aftera fourth hospitalization, where
I had this realization thatnobody was coming to save me.
I was doing everything thedoctors told me to do, taking
(05:51):
all my medication, you know,following all the things that I
was being told to do, and I justkept getting worse and I kept
ending up in the hospital.
And I had young children that Iwas trying to care for, and this
realization that I had to find adifferent way to approach my
bipolar diagnosis and my bipolarsymptoms because what I was
(06:13):
doing wasn't working.
And everything that I was beingtold to do by the doctors and
therapists was not working.
It was not helping me.
I was suffering, my family wassuffering, and I had to find
something different.
And so when I first developedthis tool for myself, and when I
help others in my program, andwhen people get this as a free
(06:34):
resource online, I have themwrite it down because this is a
totally different way of lookingat things.
And in order to start developingthis resource for yourself, you
have to work through the processof consciously looking at each
of the steps.
There's four steps in the moodcycle survival guide.
And you have to go through theprocess of consciously
(06:56):
evaluating each step andthinking about it and
identifying the different piecesto that part of the tool that
you're going to utilize, andthen conscientiously start
applying and utilizing thatresource.
And but just like any other toolor habit, the more you use it,
(07:17):
the more it just becomes part ofyou.
And so when I was separated backin the beginning of November, I
automatically started utilizingthat tool.
It was just, it was justautomatic.
I don't have a written oneanymore.
It's just I shouldn't say Idon't have a written, I don't
have a written, like formal moodcycle survival guide.
(07:38):
I just know how to use thosetools.
And so I will write out, forexample, the first step in that
tool is your response team.
And I knew I would need support.
Um, I was very, at that timewhen I first separated, I didn't
know that this was leading todivorce.
And so I was keeping it very,very private at the time.
(07:58):
But I still had people thatwere, that were on my response
team that were people that I wasturning to for assistance
because I needed help.
I was in uncharted territory formyself, um, you know, newly
separated and dealing with a lotof emotional upheaval.
And I had a child, my12-year-old daughter, well, she
(08:19):
was 11 at the time, um, that Ineeded to care for and help her
navigate the emotional upheavalthat she was experiencing.
And so I had people that were onmy response team that I knew I
could turn to.
Um, my mom was the number oneperson.
She's, you know, she's been oneof my greatest supporters in my
(08:41):
life.
I love my mother and she'ssomebody that I can count on.
And um we have a really healthyrelationship and healthy
boundaries that's come through alot of work and diligence and
and um developing a reallyhealthy relationship with each
other.
And so she was one of my numberone people on that, on that team
(09:04):
of people that I turned to.
Um, I am religious, I am amember of a church, and so I
immediately established myselfwith a congregation in the new
area that I was living in and uhwent to the leaders of the
various organizations that I wasa part of.
So the women's organization, Iwent to that person and just let
(09:24):
her know who I was and and why Iwas there.
And um, I went to the leader ofthe organization over the my
daughter's age and talked to herand just made her aware of it.
Um, I went to the to leader ofthe overall congregation and
just you know introduced myselfso that I so that they knew why
I was who I was and that I whatI was going through.
(09:48):
Um and and I would know who Icould ask for help if I needed
help.
So one of the things that I wantto talk about that I don't know
that I've really talked aboutbefore is there are two kind of
extremes that oftentimes peoplewill um go to when they are
dealing with mental healthstruggles.
(10:08):
On the one side, there are timeswhen people hide what they're
experiencing because they'reembarrassed about it.
And they don't tell anybody whatthey're struggling with until
they're in crisis.
And the problem that thatcreates is it it makes it hard
to ask for help because you'reso embarrassed by what you're
experiencing that you don't wantpeople to know.
(10:29):
So you just don't tell anybody,and so you're suffering and it
kind of can compound thesuffering because you're you're
suffering alone and it can itcan isolate you.
And and that leads to not askingfor help until you're in crisis,
until you can't hide it anymore,until you can't um until you
(10:52):
have to have help, right?
And then if that is the patternthat you follow, then the only
time you're asking for help iswhen you're in crisis and you
can burn out resources that way,because you're you're not
identifying, you know, who to goto or setting healthy boundaries
or anything like that.
You're just waiting until you'rein crisis and then then you you
(11:14):
know reach out in desperation towhoever you happen to reach out
to.
And if if that repeats over andover again, you can damage the
relationship, you can burnbridges, it can it can do
tremendous damage if you're ifyou're not asking for help until
you're in crisis.
The other side of that issomebody who talks all the time
(11:34):
about the problems that they'rehaving.
That's all they talk about.
You know, they're they'restruggling, and so the only
thing that they talk about arehow much they're struggling.
And that can kind of create aboy who cried wolf type
situation where people are sotired of hearing you that they
don't know that you really meanit when you're when you really
do need help.
(11:55):
Or if you're asking for help allthe time, you burn the bridges
and they and nobody wants tohelp you because they just are
exhausted and and they don'thave the capacity or energy to
continue to support somebodywho's struggling all the time.
So the goal of this part of themood cycle survival guide is to
learn how to identify what arewhat are the things that you
(12:18):
need help with, who are thepeople that you can reach out
to, and what are the healthyboundaries around that
assistance.
And so one of the things that ithas done for me over the years
is learning how to identify andrecognize what am I going to
need help with?
It's a skill that I'vedeveloped.
It's and it's interesting totalk about that in terms of it
(12:39):
being a skill, but especiallywhen somebody struggles with
their mental health, um, youneed to learn how to identify,
like, what do I need help with?
And, you know, whether that'syou know, emotional assistance
from a therapist or, you know,working through trauma, you
know, healing that those aspectsof it, um, working with like for
(13:02):
me, I don't take medication.
I utilize true hope supplements.
And so knowing that, you know,when I'm experiencing, if I
start to experience symptomsthat are related to
micronutrient insufficiency,knowing that I can reach out to
true hope and making sure that Irecognize that and that I do it.
And I'll talk a little bit moreabout the supplements and how
they support your brain asyou're experiencing stressful
(13:24):
experiences, but understandingwhat the help is that you need
and then who can assist you withthat, with that, that need.
And then what are the healthyboundaries around that
assistance so that you respectthe relationship and it can help
you maintain those connectionsand those relationships in a
healthy way so that you don'tburn bridges.
(13:48):
As I went, you know, the otherthing, one of the other things
that I that I applied, uhanother thing that I applied
from this mood cycle survivalguide as I was going through
this, navigating this last 10months was the early warning
system.
And while you're going throughhealing from bipolar, this is uh
the early warning system iscritical because you need to
(14:08):
identify mood swings and andsymptoms and triggers and red
flags so that you start to bemore proactive about addressing
those things as early aspossible.
You eliminate triggers.
Um, you are able to identifylike what the symptoms mean.
You start to recognize you know,this symptoms, these symptoms
(14:30):
when I experience are relatedto, you know, micronutrient
insufficiency, and I need tomake an adjustment to my
supplements, or these symptomsare a trauma response.
And I need to identify like whatare the triggers for this trauma
and take it to a therapist andwork through it with the
therapist.
But as you learn how to look atthese symptoms with curiosity,
(14:51):
then you can be more proactiveabout managing them and more
proactive about identifying thesources of the symptoms and
addressing the sources withtools that actually help you
resolve them.
So as I started going throughthis, this really awful upheaval
in my life, I startedexperiencing symptoms, which are
(15:14):
not symptoms of mental illness.
They're symptoms that arerelated to emotional distress
from a really difficultexperience.
This is this is life.
Life is hard.
And so I started recognizing,for example, that I was, I can
tell now because of all the timethat I've spent looking at what
(15:35):
my body is trying to tell me,what my mind is trying to tell
me, that I got to a point whereI started thinking, I think I
need to make an adjustment to mysupplements.
And I was able to call truehope.
And I'll talk to a little bitmore about that in more um
specifically later.
But I, because I have done somuch work in understanding what
my brain and my body are tellingme and what I need to do to
(15:57):
address that, with that part ofmy mood cycle survival guide,
the early warning system, I wasable to identify like what do I
need right now?
What are the things that aregoing to help me address this
need that is coming up as I'mgoing through this upheaval in
my life?
And the the third part of themood cycle survival guide, the
(16:19):
power priorities, was absolutelycritical for me.
This was, I had to make surethere were things that had to be
done over the past 10 monthsthat I could not avoid.
And there were other things inmy life that I needed to let go
of while I went through that, sothat I was able to maintain my
(16:39):
emotional and mental well-being,take care of myself and take
care of my daughter, andcontinue to provide.
And so there were a number ofthings, especially over the
summer.
We went through a move at thebeginning, well, halfway through
the summer.
And towards at the beginning ofthe summer, when I when this all
this process started of themove, like packing and and you
(17:02):
know, securing a place to liveand all of those things, and
then going through in the middleof the summer, going through the
move, I recognized pretty earlythat this was going to be really
a this is going to be a lotemotionally, physically,
mentally, not just for me, butfor my daughter.
And that I needed to step backfrom a lot of things, which is
why I did almost no podcastepisodes over the summer.
(17:24):
I didn't post on social media.
I did the bare minimum for mybusiness.
Um, I, you know, met with,continue to meet with my clients
and take care of thosecommitments.
But I anything that I didn'thave to be doing, I took, I, I
put on pause as we went throughthis transition in order to make
sure that the things thatmattered most were addressed.
(17:46):
And of course, I made sure thatI was taking care of my
self-care routine and the thingsthat were going to help me
continue navigating the healingprocess for myself and for my
daughter.
And then the final part of themood cycle survival guide was
the getting myself back to ahealthy, balanced mental place.
And that's ongoing.
(18:08):
You know, I'm continuing tonavigate, you know, the healing
process, but it's I know what todo and how to navigate it in a
way that I have been able tofeel peace and and be able to be
balanced mentally andemotionally, be there for my
daughter so that she has ahappy, healthy mom that is there
(18:28):
for her.
And so I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful that I that Ideveloped this tool for myself
earlier and that I used it inreally extreme circumstances so
that it became automatic.
When I needed that that resourcefor myself, it was not something
I had to have somebody remind meto use.
(18:49):
It was something that I alreadyhad as part of my habits in my
own life.
And it was automatic and I knewhow to apply it because I had
utilized it over and over andover again throughout the
healing process over the past 16years.
The second piece, the secondpart of this.
So I as I went through this, asI was preparing for to talk to
(19:11):
you today about this, I actuallywent through this last 10 months
and reviewed the last 10 monthsand recognized that every single
tool that I share in my book, Iutilized over the past 10
months.
So I'm just gonna go through onestep at a time, through those
seven steps for healing, andshare with you how that applied
(19:33):
as I was navigating this reallydifficult time.
So I've shared with you stepone, which was the mood cycle
survival guide.
Step two in the process ismicronutrients and medication.
And obviously, I haven't been onmedication since 2010, was when
I titrated off.
And but I I continued to takemicronutrients and I had uh a
(19:54):
few months where I was startingto have sleep disruption and I
was starting to struggle withsome anxiety symptoms, and they
were starting to increase.
And I recognized, you know, Iwas I was using all the other
tools that I that I used, but asI was using those and I
continued to feel these anxietysymptoms intensifying and
(20:14):
experiencing sleep disruption, Ihad this realization one day
that I needed to contact TrueHope.
I thought, you know, I one ofthe things that I've learned
over the years is that when yougo through a lot, you know, very
stressful experiences, that yourbrain burns through
micronutrients faster.
It's just like somebody, so ifif there was a high-level
athlete or an athlete of anykind, actually, who increases
(20:36):
their the intensity of theirtraining or the frequency of
their training, if they increasethe training, your body needs
more because it has to providemore fuel.
The same thing is true for ourbrains.
If you increase the stress inyour life and the intensity of
your experiences, if you'regoing through really difficult
(20:57):
circumstances or intense things,your brain will start burning
through micronutrients fasterand it needs it needs more
support.
And I just had this realizationone day, you're experiencing
symptoms that you know arerelated to micronutrient, your
micronutrient intake.
So I contacted True Hope andtalked with it, talked it over
(21:17):
with them, talked about thesymptoms.
And I, because of my mood cyclesurvival guide, I had been, you
know, paying attention to thesymptoms and tracking them.
So I was able to give goodinformation to them and they
agreed that I needed to make anadjustment.
And so I adjusted themicronutrient intake.
And within a couple of days,those symptoms had subsided.
And it's such a huge reliefbecause one of the things that
(21:38):
happens when you experiencesymptoms that are of any kind is
that your brain detects thesymptom and it starts to worry
and starts to look at all of thethings that are going on around
you looking for the danger.
It goes into fight or flight,and that intensifies the
symptoms and it creates afeedback loop.
(22:00):
And so it's really, reallyimportant to pay attention to
those, you know, that earlywarning system, to pay attention
to the symptoms and address itas quickly as possible so that
you don't, you can interruptthat feedback loop by addressing
the source of the symptoms.
So for in that situation, thatpart of the experience, I
recognized my brain was going,was under a tremendous amount of
(22:23):
stress, my body was under atremendous amount of stress, and
I needed more.
My brain needed more.
And so I would contacted TrueHope and they helped me adjust
my supplements and it resolvedthe symptoms.
So the third step in the healingprocess is therapy.
And I am forever grateful that Ireally went for it years ago.
(22:46):
Um, I've shared before when I'vetalked about therapy that I back
in 2019, I made the decisionthat I was going to go to
therapy until I had nothing leftto talk about.
And I and I was very umdeliberate in choosing a
therapist that could actuallyhelp me identify and and heal
(23:06):
unhealed trauma.
So I was deliberate inidentifying, and I used EMDR,
but I've I've had reallyfantastic therapists on my on my
podcast that have talked aboutdifferent therapy modalities.
IFS, um uh I'm forgetting CMS.
Um there's a number of differentuh treatment modalities that I
(23:30):
have that I've shared on mypodcast that help people to get
to the source of theirsuffering, to get to the source
of the symptoms, and then treatthe source of the symptoms.
One of the challenges when youjust go to any random therapist
is that you can end up justtalking about your problems and
staying in the upper part ofyour brain.
And that doesn't help youresolve the source.
(23:52):
It can actually make thingsworse because you're focusing on
something that you cannotresolve through talking about
it.
And so if you have unhealedtrauma or deeply seated beliefs
that that date back to, youknow, events from childhood or
younger years, um, patterns inyour life, unhealthy thought and
(24:13):
behavior patterns, if you justgo talk about it, it's not going
to resolve it.
And so when I went to therapyyears ago, I was really
intentional about identifying atrauma-informed therapist that
would be able to help meidentify unhealed trauma,
unhealthy thought and behaviorpatterns, um, unhealthy coping
mechanisms, and then addressthose things at the root so that
(24:36):
we could resolve them and Icould heal and heal the sources
of those symptoms that hadresulted from that unhealed
trauma.
So I had done a lot of work withthe with therapy, and I had I
had resolved most of the sourcesof my symptoms.
So when I went through this, I Ihad there was absolutely, there
(25:00):
were absolutely things that cameup, um, things that were
unhealthy in the marriage, um,unhealthy in my way of
approaching my relationship andthe way of viewing myself that I
needed to address.
And so I found a trauma-informedtherapist that uh specialized in
(25:21):
the types of treatmentmodalities that I knew would be
beneficial.
And I went to five sessions withher.
I didn't go to therapy for along time.
I was able to go to fivesessions with her and work
through these sources ofdistress that were coming up
because of this uh separationand then divorce and resolve the
(25:45):
sources there, you know, come upwith, you know, being able to
develop healthier ways oflooking at things, um,
addressing, you know, thesources of those beliefs and
behaviors and coping that helpedme to resolve a lot of those
underlying issues that coming upbecause of this divorce.
(26:07):
And so therapy, I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful, number one,that I had done all that work to
begin with.
So it was years, it was severalyears of really working hard
with a, you know, diligentlywith a therapist to resolve the
unhealed trauma for my past andum and unhealthy thought and
(26:29):
behavior patterns, unhealthycoping mechanisms.
And then I also knew how to useit when I was going through
something that was that I neededhelp with.
Uh a divorce after almost 24years of, well, over 24 years of
being together, but almost 24years of marriage is traumatic.
And the recognition of theunhealthy things that were in
(26:52):
the marriage that I hadn'tunderstood until after we were
separated, needed to be workedthrough.
I needed somebody to help mework through those things.
And thankfully, I had alreadydeveloped the tool, the skill of
identifying the type of therapythat I needed to utilize and how
to be proactive in working withthat therapist so that I could
(27:14):
heal.
So then, number four, the fourthstep in the healing process that
the tool that I had developedwas mindfulness meditation.
And that was unbelievablyhelpful in this process.
One of the things that is sodamaging about the general
approach to mental health isthat we view emotions and
(27:37):
symptoms as good or bad,desirable or undesirable.
And when we have what we woulddeem bad emotions or bad
symptoms, we don't want toexperience them.
And so we seek out help, and apsychiatrist gives us drugs to
suppress them.
And it will prevent us fromlearning how to process those
(28:02):
emotions and how to navigatethose symptoms.
And it it's like it's itprevents us from developing a
necessary skill set for handlinglife and handling crisis in our
lives.
And I'm not saying that thereare not, one of the things that
I want to mention here is I'mnot saying that there is no
(28:25):
place for psychotropic drugdrugs.
I view psychotropic medicationsas a an isolated short-term
solution to crisis.
So if meaning, if somebody is adanger to themselves or others,
that's probably a time that weneed to utilize uh psychotropic
(28:46):
medication temporarily.
And I view that through thesame, you know, through similar
to somebody who's running atemperature, you know, a fever
of 105, we need to give themsomething immediately to bring
their temperature down so thatit doesn't do brain damage.
But that is not a long-termsolution because that is not
actually identifying andaddressing the source of the
(29:09):
fever.
It is simply attempting tosuppress the fever.
And so when we are experiencingdistress from unhealed trauma
or, you know, difficult life,really challenging, difficult
life circumstances, it's reallyimportant to develop the skill
(29:31):
to be able to sit with thoseemotions and process them.
And so learning how to practicemindfulness meditation was a
game changer for me.
And I'm so grateful that I hadspent so many years cultivating
that habit and that skill sothat when I was going through
this really painful, difficultexperience in my life, I had
(29:56):
developed a skill of learninghow to sit with painful
emotions, with difficultemotions, with unpleasant
emotions, so that I couldprocess them and so that I could
explore where, you know, that'sinteresting.
I wonder why I feel that way.
And I did a lot of journaling,you know, combined with the
(30:18):
meditation.
So one of the things that Istarted doing was, you know,
spending time meditating andthen spending a lot of time
after that journaling the thingsthat came up as I meditated.
And I have I filled like I thinkI can't remember exactly, I
think I filled six journals in10 months, cover to cover,
(30:40):
because I was working throughprocessing the emotions that I
was experiencing and thethoughts that I was having come
up.
And and it was it has helped metremendously in being able to
heal and and you know, processwhat has happened in my life in
(31:02):
this situation.
And it's something that that Ideveloped over the process of
healing.
I developed that ability to sitwith the emotions and allow the
emotions just to be, and thenlook with curiosity at them
instead of judgment to explorethe sources of those those
(31:22):
emotions that I wasexperiencing.
So I'm like forever grateful formindfulness.
And I talk to people all thetime about this.
Like, I think they should berequiring mindfulness training
in in elementary schools.
I think it's a life skill thateverybody could benefit from.
The next piece was um exerciseand yoga, and I'm gonna talk
(31:45):
about those together becausethat's how I've been utilizing
them.
And I'm really grateful that Iwasn't trying to develop an
exercise yoga routine while Iwas going through this.
This was already a habit that Ihad developed over the healing
process over the past 16 years.
And it took a lot of trial anderror as I went through the
(32:06):
healing process to learn how toexercise in a way that best
supports me emotionally,mentally, and physically.
Um, you know, my in my book, Italk about how I used to train
for events.
I would train for triathlons andfor 5Ks.
I did a half marathon when I wassix weeks pregnant with my last
(32:26):
child.
Um, I loved, I was a competitiveathlete.
And so that was my experiencewith exercise, you know, from my
youth.
And so when I was trying toutilize exercise in my healing
process from bipolar, I wastraining for events.
And after a while, as I was, asI was going through the healing
(32:47):
process, started recognizingthat training for events and
pushing myself was actuallytriggering mood swings in me
because I was triggering ahypomanic state in myself while
I was training, and then I wouldget depressed afterwards.
And so, and I'm not saying thatit's not, you know, if somebody
is going through somethingdifficult, I'm not saying that
it is bad to train for an event.
(33:10):
Um, I actually, my my youngestdaughter and I um trained for a
5K together while we were goingthrough this.
And it wasn't like training,intense training.
It was just we signed up for itand then we just walked
regularly together.
She we tried a little bit ofrunning, but she's not a fan of
running.
So I did running on my own formy own exercise.
(33:31):
And then she and I would just goon walks and we we did a 5K
together.
So I'm not saying that it's badto do those things.
What I am saying is it'scritical to learn how to utilize
exercise in a way that supportsyou mentally, emotionally.
It supports your mental healthgoals, your your emotional
(33:52):
health, and your helps you to umprocess stress.
It helps you to handle stressmore.
It helps you to, you know, yogais really helpful with this too.
So I I encourage people toutilize walking or running
because it's easy as far as likeit doesn't require any fancy
(34:13):
equipment other than a good pairof shoes.
You don't have to have a gymmembership, you don't have to go
anywhere other than out yourdoor and on your walk or on your
run.
And it's very, very beneficial,especially if you're not using
headphones.
You can actually incorporate,you know, aspects of mindfulness
while you're exercising that canbe really helpful.
(34:35):
Um, and yoga, uh, because I haveused yoga, you know, over the
last 16 years of my healingprocess, I knew which types of
yoga were going to be mosthelpful to me as I was
navigating the emotions of thislife, you know, upheaval.
And so I already had those toolsin place because I had used
(35:02):
them, because I've used themover the past 16 years in my
healing process.
And they are a consistent partof my self-care.
I consistently utilize thosethings.
And that's because I've beenusing them, figuring out how to
use them and learning how toapply them and developing habits
around them over the past 16years.
(35:24):
And then finally, step seven inthe healing process was, you
know, is of course mindfulliving.
So, how do you move forward inyour life?
What do you, how do youincorporate all of these things
to continue to move forward inyour healing process?
And that has been reallycritical for me.
Um, I use bullet journaling as amindful practice, mindfulness
(35:46):
practice, in helping me to makedecisions, which have been has
been really essential fornavigating this total life
change for me.
I thought that I knew what mylife was going to be like moving
forward.
Um, and all of a sudden,everything was up-ended, and I
(36:08):
had to come up with a new planfor my life.
And because I had developed thisskill of mindfulness and working
on mindful living, I knew how todo that.
I use bullet journaling to, youknow, brainstorm, you know, what
are the things that I'mstruggling with?
(36:28):
What are the things that I needto figure out?
And what are the resources andtools?
You know, I have a practice,consistent practice each day of
working on those things already.
And that was a tool that I thatI used in my healing process
from bipolar that I was able toapply as I was trying to come up
with a new plan for my life.
(36:51):
All of these skills, all ofthese tools that you utilize in
the healing process are habitsfor healing that will help you
in your life.
These are not things that youwill utilize only when you're
going through the healingprocess from bipolar, and then
you will never need again.
These are tools, these arehabits that will help you be
able to navigate life.
(37:14):
Life is hard.
It's beautiful.
I've had wonderful experiencesover the past 10 months with my
daughter and making new friendsand exploring new interests.
Um I don't want to it to soundlike life is just hard all the
time, but but the reality isthat there is a lot of
(37:35):
difficulty in life.
And if you can develop thesehabits as you heal from your
bipolar symptoms, as you healfrom depression and anxiety, and
as you heal from trauma, as youlearn how to develop a new way
(37:58):
to live so that you areproactive and intentional about
understanding what thesesymptoms mean for you in your
life, and how to identify andapply the tools necessary to
address the underlying issues.
It will help you stay mentallyhealthy and balanced throughout
(38:20):
life storms, throughout life'sdifficulties.
I will be forever grateful forall of the all of the help that
I've had over the years and allof the tools that I've
discovered through my researchand all the things that I
utilized in my own healingprocess because they helped me
navigate one of the most painfulexperiences of my life in a way
(38:41):
that helped me to heal, ishelping me to heal, and to move
forward with confidence towardsa future that is looking
brighter and brighter every day.
I'm so grateful.
I'm so grateful that I that Ididn't need to turn to a
psychiatrist to suppressemotions that I didn't know how
(39:03):
to handle.
And I'm not saying that injudgment.
I'm saying that that it's thereis hope for learning how to
handle these types of ofexperiences in your life without
having to turn to psychotropicmedications that could make
things worse long term.
It is possible to live ahealthy, balanced life to heal
(39:28):
from bipolar symptoms and tolive a purposeful, meaningful,
fulfilling, happy life, nomatter the challenges you
experience.
If you are struggling, if youare would like to learn more
(39:49):
about these tools, I encourageyou, if you haven't already,
please get a copy of my book,The Upside of Bipolar: Seven
Steps to Heal Your Disorder.
It's designed as a self-helpbook.
The first four chapters of thebook are my story, the my story
of what led to my bipolardiagnosis and my years of
treatment in the psychiatricsystem.
(40:11):
And then the next seven chaptersare the tools that I discovered
that help me to identify theunderlying sources of my
symptoms and then treat thoseunderlying sources using these
research-based tools that helpme to actually heal.
It is possible to treat theunderlying sources and heal.
It's possible.
(40:33):
If you have questions, you'rewelcome to reach out to me.
My email is in the show notes.
If you haven't already got acopy of the Mood Cycle Survival
Guide, go in the show notes andgrab a copy of that.
I look forward to hearing fromyou, and I will see you next
time on the next episode of theUpside of Bipolar.
Until next time, Upsiders.com.
(41:14):
If you're ready to dive deeper,grab my book, The Upside of
Bipolar, seven steps to healyour disorder.
If you're ready to heal yoursymptoms, join my monthly
membership, The Upsiders Tribe,to transform chaos into hope.
Until next time, Upsiders
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