The Confidence Blueprint: How To Own Any Room

How can you own the room and speak with confidence?

Nobody cares if your palms are sweaty. Nobody cares if your voice shakes. Nobody cares if you're secretly terrified.

They care if you command the space you're in.

In this episode, I sit down with Eva Daniel, former speech writer at Ramsey Solutions, 11 years at Focus on the Family, now a speech coach to leaders, to break down what it actually takes to own a room.

Stage. Zoom. Boardroom. Bible study. Tuesday team meeting.

Ground your feet. Take the pause. Open your palms. Hold the thought.

That's the game.

We get into the pause that resets the entire room before you say a word, why you should never end on a Q&A (you just handed a stranger the mic), the "queso" moment that will change how you hear yourself forever, and the SPARK framework for walking in with something worth saying.

If you've ever shrunk in a meeting, rushed through a presentation, or walked off stage wishing you'd been bigger in the moment... this one's for you.

Get Eva's 12 Questions To Write A Killer Speech Here: speakshop.com

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.

If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.

New episodes every Tuesday.

Don't just exist. Show up.

🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (01:29):
I found out that I was going to be speaking on the
same stage as John Maxwell, noteven a day after he spoke, and I
didn't even know it was gonnahappen until two days
beforehand.
Let me explain.
So my dad and I had been askedto come and speak at a luxury
business conference in CostaRica.
It was amazing, and it hadpeople speaking at it, such as

(01:52):
John Maxwell.
It was absolutely incredible.
But it was supposed to be me andmy dad.
My dad is an amazing speaker, ifany of you have ever heard him,
Dr.
Joe Beam.
And so I was fully expecting himto take the lead on the speech
and for me to just be there forkicks and giggles mostly.

(02:12):
And two days before we wereleaving for Costa Rica,
something ended up happening.
My mom ended up having aterrible hip issue.
She ended up not being able towalk, and so they ended up not
being able to go at all.
And this ended up being thefirst time I was ever gonna
speak by myself in front ofhundreds and hundreds of

(02:36):
business owners and again at thesame conference that John
Maxwell was speaking at.
I ended up having a main stagetalk, opening the whole day on
day two, and I had no idea whatI was gonna do until two days
beforehand.
It was the turning point for me.

(02:58):
It was the day that I realizedthat I wasn't going to be able
to spend the rest of my lifedepending on someone else.
I had to learn number one, howto craft a speech completely by
myself.
Number two, how to have theconfidence to give it.
And number three, doing it in away that led to an amazing

(03:23):
outcome.
Today we are speaking with EvaDaniel.
Eva is a speechwriter, she's aspeech coach.
She has worked at places beingthe speechwriter at Ramsey
Solutions, where she was thespeechwriter for Dave and for,
I'm sure his daughter and manyof the personalities there.
Before that, she was at thislittle company called Focus on
the Family that is a hugeChristian nonprofit

(03:45):
organization.
She was over there radiobroadcasting back then for 11
years.
And now she is a speech coachfor tons of people.
She's an amazing speech coach.
I've known her for severalyears, and in today's
conversation, we're specificallytalking about how you can get
the confidence to speak in anysituation that you're in,

(04:06):
leading meetings, whether it'son a stage or on Zoom.
We are all in situations in ourlife where we need to speak.
We need to speak confidently,clearly, and make it compelling.
That's what we're going to talkabout in today's episode.
Let's dive in.
Eva, I'm so glad to have youhere.

(04:26):
I met you, gosh, I think sevenyears ago this year.
And because it was 2019, I metyou at an event and I was in a
group with you, and you were thespeech writer at Ramsey at the
time.
And I just remember thinking, ohmy goodness, I feel like I have
access to one of the mostimportant people at the company.

(04:49):
I mean, someone who's helpingthem be the great, the great
personalities that they are.

SPEAKER_01 (04:54):
Well, and you yourself are a great speaker.
And I know that at that eventyou were speaking as well.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (04:59):
Well, yeah.
It was, I do remember you cameup to me afterwards and you said
some nice things, and I thought,Eva, just told me.
That means so much to me.
But you have done amazingthings.
You, I mean, your time atRamsey, even before Ramsey,
being at focus on the family,helping with their production
production.
And then now you're doing yourown stuff, your own speech

(05:21):
school, the speak shop that youhave, helping people become
better speakers.
So I'm excited to speak with youtoday.

SPEAKER_01 (05:28):
Well, I'm so excited to be here.
I always say public speaking isa skill just like any other.
And a lot of times, a lot of us,we just get to whatever point in
adulthood and we maybe haven'tput a lot of focus on it, a lot
of time and attention.
So I really feel one of my bigmissions in life is to just help
people become more confident inthe way that they're showing up

(05:48):
on stage, whether it's podcastguesting like this or just the
way they show up at a networkingevent, as well as maybe an
actual bigger stage, maybethey've been asked to speak at
an industry event or somethinglike that.
So I just I love what I get todo every day.

SPEAKER_00 (06:02):
Don't you, or do you believe that now with social
media being as rampant at it asit is Instagram, YouTube, and
there's more opportunities forpeople to speak?
It's not just about being on astage.
It's also if you're gonna beshooting a story or shooting a
reel or getting up and doing apresentation at a meeting.
Do you feel like now there'sjust even more necessity for

(06:26):
people to understand and knowhow to be a confident and
compelling public speaker thanbefore?

SPEAKER_01 (06:33):
Absolutely.
And with the rise of so much AIas well, I really think being
good at face-to-facecommunication or, you know,
face-to-screen communication isone of the best ways that you
can advance your career becausebeing a good communicator is the
human edge.
And there are so many moreopportunities because we can all
create our own opportunities.

(06:54):
I mean, any one of us couldlisten to the, you know, your
incredible show and decide, hey,you know what?
I'm gonna start a YouTube showtoo.
And so there's both thatopportunity of you can start,
it's never been easier to startyour own thing, as well as the
fact that with so much AIgenerated communication, the way
that you show up and the roomsthat you're in matters now more

(07:15):
than ever.

SPEAKER_00 (07:17):
Can you notice when something is AI generated
quickly because of what you do?

SPEAKER_01 (07:21):
I I can, although I would say it's getting harder
the better that it gets.
I don't know if you feel thatway.
I feel two years ago, threeyears ago, I would look at
writing that came out and I'mlike, oh, this is terrible.
A client would show up in ameeting and say, I just had Chat
GPT write me a speech, and Ithink, I can tell.
And I would say there are stillsome you know situations where

(07:44):
it's like I can definitely tell,or it's not as strong, but I
would say it's also improvingall of the time as well.
But should it?
Do you like AI-generated typespeeches?
I do, I do not.
I mean, truly, I believe thatthe best communication, the best
speeches are always going tocome from here.
I always tell my clients, youcan't outsource your thought

(08:06):
leadership.
So AI can be an incredible tool.
Figure out what your thoughtsare, think them through, wrestle
them to the ground, figure outwhat it is you're really trying
to say, work through your story,work through all of these
pieces, and then use it as atool and figure out maybe you
need help with humor.
Maybe humor is something thatdoesn't come naturally to you in
your communication.

(08:26):
You think, oh, you know, it'd bereally helpful here.
And then maybe you you submit apiece and say, hey, changing as
little of the original languageas possible, can you help me add
some humor?
Or can you look for me as or howclear is this concept?
But I I always say, don't, don'ttake, don't have AI take the
first pass on something thatonly you can give, which is you,

(08:47):
your story, your expertise, yourthought leadership.
You never want to outsource thatto AI.

SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
I totally feel that.
Last summer I was doing akeynote speech and I wrote it.
So I'm the kind of person whowrites, I always say I'm just
gonna bullet point it, but thenI end up writing word for word,
and I end up memorizing it thatway.
Anyway, so I wrote it all outword for word, and then I
uploaded it to AI, and Iremember it gave me this
feedback and it wanted me toremove what I felt was the most

(09:17):
powerful part of the speech.
And I thought, no, I'm not, I'mnot doing that.
First of all, just because AIsaid it, but second of all,
because this is the climax thatI'm leaning, leading up towards.
And I remember feeling so gladthat I didn't do it just because
of that reason.
Yeah.
And it ended up feeling moreauthentic.

(09:38):
I believe that it hit harderthat way, even in the room.
So I totally feel that.
But it's hard.
It's not hard.
It can be tempting to think, oh,well, AI must know better.
Therefore, maybe I should justdo what it says.
But what I hear you saying isno, don't listen.
Don't trust it.

SPEAKER_01 (09:59):
Use it as a tool, but don't use it as a first
pass.
Make sure that you have done thework to figure out what it is
you're trying to say and toexactly what you did, making
sure that you show up in yourspeech and the way you
communicate.
I tell all of my clients, I wantyou to give the speech the only
you can give.
I don't want to be able to takethose talking points and give

(10:19):
them to a communicator who isstronger or better or maybe a
little bit more dynamic and beable to deliver it.
I want you to give the speechthe only you can give, which the
only way you can get there is byvulnerably, transparently
sharing your stories and yourexpertise.
And if you have one like yourframework, your unique thought
leadership that you bring to theworld, that's what you want to

(10:39):
be able to give when you show upto communicate.
And you can't have AI generatethat for you without having done
the work ahead of time.

SPEAKER_00 (10:48):
Yeah, for sure.
What would you say?
Let's talk about the person whois terrified of public speaking.
They don't want to be put oncamera, even in maybe Zoom team
meetings, they're stillthinking, please don't call on
me.
But maybe even more so in reallife situations where now they

(11:08):
are moving up in their job orthey're volunteering for women's
Bible studies or men's Biblestudies, where now they're being
called on to begin speaking andsharing.
What are some tips as an expertspeech writer and giver that you
would give to that person who isstarting from I'm terrified to
do this to help them become moreconfident?

SPEAKER_01 (11:30):
Well, public speaking anxiety has a name,
Glossophobia.
So if you've experienced it, no,you're not alone.
Research would show that around72% struggle with that.
And it's it's really hard.
And you know, one of theunderlying roots of that is fear
of judgment of others or whatother people are going to think
of us.

(11:50):
I think another underlying thingis we just haven't necessarily
spoken a lot.
And now maybe we have risen tothat level of leadership or that
opportunity in our careers.
We're suddenly speaking is anexpectation as part of our
career, or maybe we did raisethat hand to lead that Bible
study.
So now it's a part of our thing.
But the problem is we're notleaning back on skills that are

(12:12):
maybe just like a year or twoago.
Some of us are trying to leanback on a public speaking class
we took in high school, wheremaybe the whole point was to
give a persuasive speech on whyyou should be able to eat off
campus over lunch or somethingthat didn't have any application
to the real world.
So sometimes it's just we don'thave the tools or the skills to
start using to be able to havemore of that confidence in the

(12:34):
way that we show up.
There are a lot ofnerve-fighting techniques that
you can do to reduce some ofthose nerves and increase your
confidence.
And one of my personal favoritescame from a researcher by the
name of Ethan Cross.
And he did research forUniversity of Michigan.
He wrote about it in his book,Chatter.
And that book is really moreabout self-talk and negative

(12:57):
self-talk.
It's not about public speaking,but of course, I find out ways
to draw everything to the publicspeaking world.
And so the concept is that whenwe are having a negative thought
going through our head, we'respeaking to herself in I
statements.
Oh, I hope I don't get up thereand make an idiot of myself.
I hope I don't turn red thistime when I speak.
I hope my tech doesn't fail.
I, I, I.

(13:18):
I hope my boss doesn't think I'ma moron.
And so instead, he suggests inthat book that you grab just one
of those negative thoughts andyou replace it by using
distanced self-talk.
So speaking to yourself in thethird person.
So what this might sound like,let's say I'm having the thought
of, oh, I hope my tech doesn'tfail.

(13:38):
I'm such a idiot when it comesto tech.
I struggle a lot when it comesto technology.
I feel like no matter how hard Itry, I just always have
glitches.
So let's say just I have thatthought.
I would want to reframe thatusing my first name.
So it would sound like, let'ssay I have the thought, oh, I
hope I don't mess up my techagain.
I would reframe it.
Eva's the type of person that'salways confident when unexpected
things happen.

(13:58):
So one of the things to do isstart speaking to yourself and
distanced self-talk prior to theevent.
There are also othernerve-fighting techniques.
One interesting research wasdone as well by Amy Cuddy.
She highlights it in her uh TEDtalk, which has received
millions of views about bodylanguage.
And in it, she shares that howwhen we are feeling confident,

(14:20):
we have this natural tendency tomake our bodies bigger.
And then when we're feelinginsecure, we have this natural
tendency to make our bodiessmaller.
One way we can use this when itcomes to those nerves that come
is right before speaking.
Maybe go to a bathroom stall andstrike a power pose.
So that could be, you know, theSuperman or it could be hands on
the hips, the Wonder Woman, tojust physically make your body

(14:40):
bigger to prepare for themoment.
Let's say though you're in alineup of speakers, you're in
the middle of that Tuesdayafternoon meeting and you're the
fourth person that has to getup.
You can also just do it in thechair that you're sitting in.
You can place your feet shoulderwidth apart, just kind of
naturally like, hey, I'm fillingout, I'm filling out my chair
and I'm being open.
I'm physically preparing my bodyfor this moment so that when you

(15:02):
do get up to present, youalready kind of have that, have
that moment.
Um, you know, there are ahandful of other things that you
can do as well.
So even in that very firstminute of speaking,
intentionally ground yourself.
What I mean by that is you'regonna, let's say that you have
to walk from here to the frontof the room, you're gonna get up
to that spot, you're gonnaconsciously plant your feet

(15:25):
shoulder width apart, drop yourshoulders, make eye contact,
open up your arms and smile.
Because you're happy to be here.
And for that first minute,you're gonna not move.
Now, as the presentation goes,you might want to bring that
energy.
You might want to move overhere, you might want to move
there, you might want to goother places, but just
physically grounding yourself toa spot can really help bring you

(15:47):
more fully into that moment.
Taking that big pause too,before that first line.
A lot of times we start rushingour speech, like because they've
announced us and we have to getall the way from here, all the
way over there.
And we start kind of feelinganxious because everybody's
looking at us and they'reclapping, and we start talking
before we're really ready to saythat first line.
And so one of the big things youcan do is just take a beat, take

(16:08):
a pause, ground yourself,confidently own the room before
you start.
But one of the very, verybiggest things that a lot of
people don't talk about is a lotof times those nerves are
actually not a deliverychallenge.
A lot of times we think of themas being how we're showing up,
you know, in in the moment.
But a lot of times it's actuallya reflection of the content.

(16:30):
We're not clear on what we'retrying to say, and we've never
practiced that content in frontof someone else prior to
delivering it for feedback.
You should be nervous.
If you are speaking in front ofa crowd and it's your first time
delivering that, I actuallythink maybe you should be
nervous.
So what you can start doing ispracticing that content in front

(16:51):
of real people for feedbackprior to delivering it to a
group.
I always say, you know, thelarger the stage, because
sometimes that really largepresentation really actually is
a one-on-one that you might beasking your boss for a raise.
Sure.
Or it might be, you know, asmaller group.
But practice delivering itbefore the high stakes situation

(17:11):
and do it in front of otherpeople.
What would it look like insteadof just showing up at the stage
delivering it, gathering a fewpeople together a week before,
where you can get that first setof nerves out, make sure your
content is clear, make sure youlike the way that you've
structured what you're trying tosay, and being really clear what
you're trying to say, knowingwhat that first opening line is,

(17:31):
that first section, startingwith something interesting
rather than, oh, well, um, youknow, it was so great when when
Kimberly invited me to come, Iwas just really excited.
This weather here in Nashville.
No, like have something thatyou're really confident that
you're starting with and get inthe habit of practicing, working
through it before you ever evenhave that on stage moment.

SPEAKER_00 (17:54):
So as you were going through the body, which I became
more I know here.
Let's start talking about fillerwords.
We're gonna just be all a messhere.
I know, right?
It's but it's so it's so good.
And one of the things I eventhink of is uh yes, sometimes I
even think just because maybe ofcomfort or because I don't know,
maybe because this is how how Iwas taught to sit as a woman,

(18:15):
right?
Like you cross your legs, youthat it's very freeing and to to
be able to just sit.
It does help with theconfidence.
It helps with it really does.

SPEAKER_01 (18:26):
And you know, in that first, um, they also say
that in that first um that firstfew seconds of speaking that you
should try to share your palmsbecause we're more trusting of
people once we've seen theirpalms.
So then I have clients who talk,like, hey, Eva, I'm presenting.
And I was like, well, okay, notlike that.
But even on a Zoom call, youknow, a lot of us are regularly
giving Zoom presentations,joining virtual calls.
A lot of times the way we haveour cameras positioned, people

(18:48):
can't even see our gestures.
We like people that talk withtheir hands.
Research shows us.
We like people that, so evenintentionally going, hey, on my
Zoom calls, I'm moving, I'mlooking directly in the camera
when I'm speaking.
The whole time I'm speaking on aZoom, I'm looking at the camera
that's at eye level, about 24inches from me, so that people
can also see my body language,so that they can see my

(19:10):
gestures, because then it's morewarm and inviting.

SPEAKER_00 (19:14):
I also want to talk about the the pause at the
beginning.
This is very vulnerable.
So when when even when I get up,even still, it's like you have
to have that power pose.
And I just said like, see, I'mjust so I'm aware of all the
things.

SPEAKER_01 (19:30):
You might be a speech coach, it's even worse.
If you whenever I have to give aspeech, I think, wow, I've made
a I joke and was that I'm like,I've made a living judging
others for how they talk.
And then please don't judge me.
I'm the coach, I'm not the onethat does this all the time.

SPEAKER_00 (19:43):
Right.
That's hilarious.
But you you sit there or you getup on the stage or you you take
control of the Zoom meeting andhaving that intentional pause
where people are expecting you.
The nervous part of you wants tojust go ahead and jump right
into it, like you were saying.
People are waiting for you, butit really does reset the focus,

(20:06):
the listening, but it can be oneof the hardest things not to
forget.

SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
And and and that pause feels forever when you are
giving it, going, you know,mentally going one, two, three,
before you it feels forever.
It does not for the audience.
Another thing I recommend if youare giving a larger
presentation, maybe you'regiving a 15-minute update or
30-minute talk, is alsoconsidering, I was considering

(20:32):
putting some strategicallyplanned pauses throughout your
content.
For example, I was working for aclient last year, giving a
20-minute update.
So we we thought, okay, whatcould it look like to integrate
some short videos or audiencereflection question, giving
yourself some intentional pausesin your content so that you're
you can also catch up to yourcontent, giving yourself almost

(20:53):
think of it as some breaksthroughout your presentation
where, okay, I'm gonna play this30-second video, everybody's
gonna laugh about it, I'm gonnabe able to check my notes,
reset, regather my speed, take amore intentional pause, drink
yourself of water, and then goagain.
So figuring out some ways aswell, especially if you're a
chronically fast talker like Iam, to make yourself force

(21:15):
yourself to slow down to justhave your brain be able to catch
up.
Because back to that confidence,back to those nerves, what can
also happen will be speaking andwe start stumbling over our
words, and then we're trying tocatch up, and then we start
using filler words because we'vestumbled and then we're
apologizing for stumbling, andit can just kind of be this
whole negative spiral down.
So sometimes even just going,okay, I'm pausing.

(21:36):
I'm intentionally, but the thingis with a pause, we don't want a
pregnant pause where you feelthe audience feels you're not in
control of the room, you've lostyour spot and we're all kind of
feeling nervous for you.
Instead, you want to controlyour pauses, but making sure
that you are owning the roomwith, you know, eye contact,
with confidence, withreflection, and with just really

(21:56):
having that presence as you go.

SPEAKER_00 (21:59):
What are the maybe top three things that you
believe will just completelyruin a presentation if the
speaker doesn't?

SPEAKER_01 (22:10):
Oh only three.
Okay.
I don't get a lie in the catchfor therapy session.
Yeah.
Well, one of them really, I'vealready touched on it lightly,
but the opening.
Your opening and your closingare the most impactful parts of
your entire presentation.
And yet so many speakers wastethat beginning.
That, oh, it's um so great to behere.

(22:32):
They're not saying anything.
Instead, I encourage people tohave if you're sharing a story,
starting with a cold open rightin the center of the story.
If you watch any of yourfavorite movies, whether it's
saving Private Ryan and theopening scene, we're on a boat,
or if it's legally blonde and wesee beautiful blonde girl b
brushing her hair, it startsright in the center of the
action.
So I want you to consider whatwould be an interesting right in

(22:52):
the center of action moment tostart with.
Another big mistake that peoplemake is the filler words, weak
language throughout, scatteredthroughout their presentations.
Um, does that make sense?
Yeah.
Right?
Oh.
Does that make sense?
Okay.
Yes.
Like um uh uh they come up indifferent forms.

(23:14):
A few years ago, I I got donespeaking.
I'd spoken in a conference, andhonestly, I kind of felt like I
had nailed it.
I was feeling pretty good aboutit.
And I had a few people come up,oh, that was so good, that was
so good.
I speak about speaking, whichyou know sounds always sounds
kind of messy.
But I had this woman come up tome and she goes, I just loved
your presentation.
I was just so confused why youkept talking about queso.

(23:37):
And I'm like, queso?
Like the cheese dip queso.
Oh, well, thank you for yourcomment.
You know, move on.
I'm driving home hours later.
And you know how we all are.
You have all these positivecomments, but it's that one
negative one rolling around andaround your head.
Queso, queso.
And then I realized that I hadbeen stringing together two
filler words the entirepresentation.
Okay.

(23:58):
So, okay, so now that we'velooked at content, okay, so now
that we've looked at delivery,okay, so she was hearing queso.
And I thought, oh my goodness,how embarrassing.
This is terrible.
But weak language really canruin our credibility.
A lot of those filler words, weall naturally use a filler word
one to two every minute ofspeaking.

(24:18):
Using some filler words is verynatural.
Using an excessive amount can bevery distracting.
So that's a big one that canreally hold presentations back.
I think another one does getback to that close.
Sometimes we can just end veryflatly.
Oh, okay, well, um, this isn'tgreat.

(24:39):
We end really abruptly, or wemake the mistake of ending on a
QA.
And I always say you shouldnever end within your control,
you should never end a talk on aQA.
Because when you end a talk on aQA, you have given the control
of your ending, the mostpowerful part of your
presentation, over to a strangerwith the mic.
You have no idea what they'regonna ask.
And people are terrible atasking questions.

(25:00):
Sometimes it's great and theyask a great question that sets
you up and you have a funnystory and everybody cheers.
Other times, the last questionis somebody who felt that they
should have been the speaker andthey give a little three-minute
monologue and you're trying topick through for a question, or
they ask a question that's sonuanced that only applies to
their unique situation, thatdoesn't expand out into the
room, or maybe for whateverreason, they just ask you

(25:22):
something that's kind of a weakspot in your knowledge base, so
you just don't have the bestanswer.
And so instead, I always say QAis a wonderful way to engage
your audience.
I love QA.
I frequently take QA when Ipresent.
I just don't want you to end ona QA.
Instead, you should lead intoit.
Hey, I would love to pause nowto hear your questions.
And in just a moment, I'm gonnacome back to tell you one last

(25:44):
inspiring story about MartinLuther King Jr., teasing
whatever's coming.
And then you answer thequestions and then, hey, in a
room this size, I'm sure there'smore questions, I'll be here
afterwards.
But I want to leave you with thewords of Martin Luther King Jr.
And then you own your ending.
You come back after that Q ⁇ Afor one to three minutes of
additional content, reallyowning that close because you
want to own the final impressionthat people have of you.

(26:06):
And so if I only can pick three,I would say your open and your
clothes are huge, and then andthen making sure that those
filler words are not distractingpeople from the message that
you're trying to share.

SPEAKER_00 (26:17):
I'm thinking about the person who's doing maybe a
presentation.
Maybe they're a marketingdirector, it's the company,
monthly company team meeting,they're presenting on their part
and they're listening to thisand thinking, but I have to take
questions at the at the end.
It's it'll be weird if I say,I'm gonna open this up for your
questions, but then I want tofollow up with one last thing.

(26:38):
This is something, maybe it'ssomething we're gonna do next
month, something we're reallyexcited about.
What are your thoughts on that?
Just owning the discomfort,knowing that it's gonna be more
powerful in coming across orcontinuing to go with the status
quo?

SPEAKER_01 (26:54):
I would say it's a shift to learn, you know, to
this new style of not endingwith a QA, especially if you've
been speaking 10, 20, 30 years.
I would say obviously, if you'rein a scenario where it's more of
a panel situation where you'rein the middle of people, you're
gonna always, I always sayreading the room is one of the
most important things withspeaking.
So even what we're talkingabout, the open with your cold

(27:17):
open in the center, if you'respeaking to five people, it's
gonna feel too dramatic, belike, it's 1997.
It's like, whoa, like we wereliterally just talking like
normal people, what's happening?
I would say though, even if youare in a scenario where you
really do feel because theindustry you're in, the way that
really you need to end on a QA,because that truly is either
what your boss is said or haveit, you can still own your

(27:38):
ending by so last questionsasked.
I can, as a speaker, summarizeor still come back with a really
strong statement.
So something the level ofreflecting back on what I shared
in all of your questions, theone final thing I really want to
leave you guys with is this, andthen your statement.
So still kind of coming back forsome level of a close, or let's

(28:00):
even say sometimes, you know,one of the challenging things
with impromptu speaking, off thecuff speaking with QA, is we
don't know what the questionsare going to be, and we're
verbally processing and oftenfiguring it out as we're
talking.
So one of the best things youcan do, even at the end of that
final question, is summarizingwhat you've just kind of shared

(28:22):
throughout that question, and ifpossible, bring in some of that
presentation.
So, in answer to Kimberly'squestions, it's really important
we do this, this, and this, andin closing, big statement.
So as much as you can, so comeback for some sort of crisp,
strong, authoritative statementto end off that section.

SPEAKER_00 (28:40):
Do you believe that maybe maybe not in a business
presentation, but in a speech,maybe a business presentation,
that that it has a certain flow,opening three main points,
close.
What is the structure of aspeech or a presentation that
people should be thinking of asthey're trying to create one?

SPEAKER_01 (28:58):
Well, I developed one, I call it the Spark
framework, and it's a way toquickly write a presentation.
Now, I always give the caveat,it doesn't work for every speech
in every environment all thetime, especially specialty
speeches, if you're giving a youknow, mate of honor speech or
something like that.
But this is this is the yourquick crash course on how to
write a speech fast.
And the big one is asking whoyour audience is.

(29:20):
A lot of times we get so excitedabout the content that we're
presenting on, we just rushright to it without really
thinking it through from theaudience's perspective.
And so I always say, hey, pausebefore you even start sketching
out that content and ask at theend of this presentation, what
do I want my audience to know?
What do I want them to feel?
And what do I want them to do?
And really get clear on that sothat kind of maintains that kind

(29:45):
of North Star focus for yourcontent.
And keeping in mind the entiretime the person is listening to
you speak, they're ultimatelyasking, what's in it for me?
Why should I care?
What's in this for me?
So making sure that you'rereally clear in your own mind,
what is in this for my audience?
I know maybe what's in it for meas a presenter, but what's in it
for them?
So getting really clear on that,and then no matter how much time

(30:08):
you have, doing a quickbrainstorm, getting all of those
ideas you have out of your headonto paper, a whiteboard, a
Google Doc, and making surethey're not just ping-ponging
around in your head of all thethings you can do.
So doing some level of a quickbrainstorm, picking a point.
Get your presentation into oneclear, simple sentence.
My presentation is about the Q3marketing numbers.

(30:31):
I want people to know that theywere great.
I want them to feel inspired byall the hard work they've done.
And I want them to can, youknow, do, I really want them to
push even a little bit harder inMay or whatever the thing is.
Um, so getting really clear inthat.
And then as far as how to writea speech quickly, Spark
Framework, it's an acronym.
So I encourage people, S, startwith a story.

(30:53):
It could be a personal story, itcould be a story of, let's say,
that that marketing report,maybe you share a story of a
customer who is really happywith the product, or maybe you
share of, you know, the momentwhen you got the numbers and how
excited you were.
But start with a story.
P is a problem.
Every speech solves a problem.
So make sure that before youjust sort of like rush to, you

(31:15):
know, your solutions or yourthree points or whatever many
points you have, make sure thatyou've posed why we need those
solutions, present that problem.
I always say how long you spendon the problem is how problem
aware the audience is of yourtopic.
But structuring up the problembefore you just rush to it.
And then the A is actions.
What are the solutions to that?

(31:36):
I encourage everyone, everyworking professional, to
consider maybe developing out asignature speech because more
than likely you will be asked tospeak professionally about your
area of expertise at some point.
So why not have speech ready?
Um, but what, you know, theaction part, this is the kind of
the core, you know, that heartof the speech.
It was that three-pointstructure we learned in high
school.
For others, it might be aframework that they have or a

(31:58):
system that they have, or itmight just be one big in a TED
talk, it's just like that onebig idea.
But that's the actions.
And then R is resolved, justresolving if you are gonna take
QA ticket there.
Make sure you land every planeyou launched.
Several years ago, I heard aspeaker give this, it was this
amazing open about sitting onher mom's, you know, deathbed in

(32:18):
the hospital and she'd had thisstrange relationship with her
mother.
She never resolved the story.
And so sometimes I still think,I wonder if the mom died.
Like, did they ever resolve it?
And so resolve is just areminder to you to land every
plane you launch.
If you start a problem, if youstart a story thread, if you
bring up a piece of you knowdata that seems like you're
building up to something, justmake sure that you've resolved

(32:39):
it.
And then K is knockout.
I want you to have a memorable,magnificent close.
And sometimes that's closing astory loop, sometimes that's
giving it a, you know, aninspiring vision that you have
for the future.
Sometimes that can be presentinga news story, sometimes it can
be using a quote from someone,but making sure that again that
you really own your endingbecause you want to leave

(33:01):
whatever presentation you're in,even if it's just a five-minute
update, making sure that you'veleft an impression on the
audience and that you'vecommunicated with confidence
what you're trying to say.

SPEAKER_00 (33:12):
That's a great acronym to use.

SPEAKER_01 (33:14):
Yeah, so there you go.

SPEAKER_00 (33:15):
SPARK.
SPARK.
I want to go back to the fillerwords.
First of all, when you weretalking about it, I went into,
as you were, as we talked alittle bit before we started,
but when I first thought, Ithought, well, it's um and like
you used so many others asexamples.
Okay, so I think I say here'sthe thing.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing.

(33:35):
To be honest.
To be to be honest, right,exactly.
And so I don't know that I wouldhave initially thought of those
as, but they are.
They are filler words.
They're just not um likesomeone's just had more words,
they're filler phrases, fillerparagraphs, just of words, just
to just to do something.
How would you recommend?

(33:56):
So two, so two things.
I have two questions here.
The first question is how do yourecommend beginning to notice?
So let's say like you didn'tnotice, you were saying okay, so
I'm talking about queso all daywithout without the margaritas,
right?
So how can we first begin tonotice what our filler words
are?
And then secondly, how do weactually stop ourselves from

(34:18):
doing them?
I don't do them on stage.
I for some reason know they willgo away.
I mean, I'll say here's thething, but I won't say um or I
won't say like on a stage.
But in my day-to-day life, I sayall the time.
So how can I remove those frommy language when they're so easy

(34:38):
to go to?

SPEAKER_01 (34:39):
Well, to the first question, self-awareness is
really hard.
To the, okay, so recently, Imean, but recently a couple
years ago, a client was the onethat brought to light that I
said, does that make sense alot?
And he goes, Yeah, you're acommunication expert.
It makes sense.
And I went, Oh, I'm using that alot.
So one thing, self-awareness canbe hard.
Anyone in your life probablyknows what your filler words

(35:03):
are.
So this might be a moment ofbravery to ask a colleague, a
spouse, say, hey, I'm, I feelthat maybe I'm not showing up
with as much confidence.
I think I might use a lot offiller words.
What do you think my filler wordis?
And probably almost instantlythey'll tell you there's a woman
in the Bible study attend, sheuses the and stuff.
Like she uses and stuff all ofthe time as a filler phrase.

(35:24):
Well, I've never told her thatbecause she didn't ask my
opinion, but anyone in the roomwould notice it.
Most people probably alreadyknow your filler words.
If you want to be brave, anotheridea would be to re-watch a part
of a Zoom call you were on orrecord yourself while giving a
presentation, watching it backand paying attention to what
filler words are creeping in forme.

(35:45):
So if you don't know, asksomebody or watch yourself back.
In terms of breaking of thehabit, it sounds that you've
been able to just naturally byinstinct be able to kind of edit
as you're as you're speaking ona stage.
I would say a lot of people thatmaybe they they don't have that
where they're just using normalconversation.
Um, like so, you know, a couplethings you can do.

(36:09):
One, I always say the time topractice is not when you're
giving a presentation or doing apodcast interview.
The time to practice is and tomake it simple where it's not
overwhelming, is to just decideone conversation a day, one
conversation a day where theother person is not aware, could
be with my kid, a spouse,colleague, whoever, I'm going to
consciously work on not usingfiller words just for one

(36:31):
five-minute conversation a day.
Because what you practice inyour daily communication is what
carries over to, you know, moreon stage moments of Zoom calls.
So taking one a day is a big wayto do it.
Another tip is back to the pauseagain, is slowing down your
speech and gathering yourthoughts a little bit as you go.

(36:54):
Intentionally pausing.
Most of our filler words,especially when giving a
presentation, come up duringtransitions.
It's when we're getting fromidea to, you know, from idea A
to idea B to idea C.
A lot of times, even as aprofessional script writer who's
written hundreds of speeches, alot of times people just don't
think about scriptingtransitions.

(37:16):
So we're not really clear of howwe're getting from point A to
point B.
So when it is a presentation, astage moment, scripting the
transition.
I always say a poorly writtentransition, meaning one that's,
well, now that we've looked atpoint A, let's look at point B.
That's not really dynamic andinteresting, but it's a whole
lot better than, well, um, well,like, so you know, I mean, um,

(37:39):
well, okay, now one is betterthan the other.
And granted, your transitionscan be even better than that.
So one thing is to considerscripting transitions again from
the stage moments.
Practice when you're thinkingabout practicing your
presentation.
And I always say internalizing,not memorizing, you want to
internalize it for the coreconcepts.

(37:59):
Instead of just running yourpresentation from like stop, you
know, top to bottom, top tobottom, go through your
presentation once just goingthrough the transitions.
So the last couple lines of youropening story, and then he said
to me, You're fired.
You know, your transition to thenext thing, and then the first
couple lines of the next thing.
So run through your presentationjust those transition points,

(38:22):
because for most of us, that'swhere our fillowers come in.
It's when we're moving from oneidea, one big concept to the
next.
So intentionally using yourpractice time a little bit
differently.
That can be really helpful aswell.
And then another thing, I I kindof say this jokingly, but the
people around us really do ruboff on us.
I was I was sharing with youbefore we started that in my

(38:44):
20s, my filler word was like.
I just use like, like, like,like, like, like.
I still use it a lot.
And I spent so much energy andeffort in my 20s to not use the
word like.
Apparently, I replaced it withokay, so, but I at least got rid
of like.
Recently, I was driving my, andlately I've been noticing I've
been using it a lot more lately.

(39:05):
And I thought, why am I usingthe word like so much?
Then I was driving myseven-year-old to school the
other day, and her conversationthe whole way, she's telling me
the story, and well, like Taylorwas like at the playground and
like Ethan, well, like, no, likeit wasn't Ethan, it was like,
wait, was it like, it was likeRio, Rio, and I was, oh, but I
realized because I've beenspending so much time around

(39:26):
her, her language wasinfiltrating into mine.
And so all that is say, we'reall works in progress all of the
time.
But one of the things to kind ofkeep in mind is just being a
little bit more conscious of it,being a little bit more
self-aware.
If you're giving virtual or Zoompresentations, I myself have a
sticky note that says slow downand all caps that I can see
because I know my naturaltendency is just start taking

(39:47):
really fast and then the fellerwords come in.
So intentionally slowing downcan help, intentionally pausing
can help, and just again, makingthat concentrated, just one
conversation a day for three tofive minutes, going, hey, this
conversation today, I'm going tocut back on these on these
filler words because I don'twant weak language to ruin my
credibility when I walk into aroom.

SPEAKER_00 (40:07):
Do you have any other tips like books, like used
appropriately, such as booksthat people can read or maybe
speech givers to listen to thatyou would recommend?
Hey, this is this is the idea ofwhat you're going for when you
deliver a speech.

SPEAKER_01 (40:28):
Absolutely.
And I always say one thing, it'sit's always a little hard
because my best speakers, theydon't just plop their whole
speeches online because theymake a lot of money to speak.
However, I would say TED talkscan still be a great.
I don't think TED talks are byany mean the end-all be all
communication.
But what I do love about TEDTalks is they're short.
So you can watch one a day.

(40:48):
You'll learn something about thetopic of expertise.
Start with the ones that havemillions and millions and
millions of views and justobserve what are things that
they're doing as a speaker thatI like.
From that, what could I apply tomy own speaking?
And vice versa.
Hey, are there things I don't dothat I don't like?
We are all regularly consumingcontent.
So I'd also say if you attend,you know, a faith-based

(41:10):
organization and you'reregularly hearing sermons, or if
you regularly listen to apodcast, pay attention to how
they're showing up, yourfavorite host, the speaker, and
learn from them.
So that's one tip.
In terms of books, one of myfavorite books on public
speaking is an older title.
It's called Speak LikeChurchill, Stand Like Lincoln by

(41:30):
James Humes.
I love this book.
He was a presidentialspeechwriter for seven
presidents.
And what I love about the bookis it's 21 powerful secrets of
successful speakers are short,actionable chapters you can
apply today in your speaking.
So that's that's a book I reallylike.
Another one that's a little outof the box, but I think is so

(41:50):
helpful for all of us that areprofessionals.
And this is not a publicspeaking book, but there's a lot
in it that we can take as humorseriously.
It's a book about humor in theworkplace.
How do we use humor effectively?
Because humor is such a keything in our storytelling and in
our communication and ourlikability to others.
So that's another great readthat I often recommend.
And then for anyone who is in aposition where they're regularly

(42:14):
communicating numbers, maybethey work for a nonprofit and
they're regularly sharing aboutthe impact of the work, or maybe
they are in a more data-drivenfield where they're regularly
giving presentations withnumbers in them.
I always say numbers sharestories too.
And so a great book is MakingNumbers Count by Chip Heath and

(42:34):
Carla Starr.
And that's a wonderful book foranyone who finds themselves in a
position where they're regularlycommunicating numbers.
So those are a few that I love.
And then on Stories, StoryWorthy by Matthew Dix is a
fantastic read about how do youmine your life for stories?
How do you share those storiesin a compelling way with others?
So that's four of my fragrance.
I could keep going.

(42:55):
But those ones are fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 (42:57):
Those are great.
I definitely want to check outhumor seriously and story
worthy.
One of the things I know is aweak point for me is my
storytelling.
And so I really want to doubledown on becoming a better
storyteller.

SPEAKER_01 (43:10):
And that's great.
One of the tips I take fromMatthew Dix is he talk calls it
a story worthy moment that atthe end of every day, just draft
a sentence or two about the moststory worthy moment of your day.
So if you're reflecting back onyour day and you're gonna recap
a story, what would be thatstory worthy moment?
And so that's a really great tipI learned from that book.

(43:31):
That was a good tip.

SPEAKER_00 (43:33):
So being a speechwriter, do you craft the
speech from scratch?
Are you working with the personto create the speech?
How does it, how does aspeechwriter job work?

SPEAKER_01 (43:44):
Well, and it's evolved over the years.
Now that I have my own companyfor the last few years, I often
have an I write with you modelbecause again, back to what we
were talking earlier about notoffloading your thought
leadership to AI, you probablyshouldn't really offload your
thought leadership to just awriter either.
I want you to do a lot of thatwork on the front end of really
trying to figure out what you'regonna say.

(44:05):
So I what I didn't realizebefore becoming a speechwriter
was how much of the bestspeeches are recycled from even
professional speakers that yousee.
And so if you think about it interms of like a band analogy, if
you have a favorite band, do youhave a favorite band or band you
like?
Yeah, sure.
Okay, so let's just say you'regonna go see, you know, you two

(44:27):
or you know, Taylor Swift, itcould be any artist, right?

SPEAKER_00 (44:29):
Band or sync when they when they reunite.

SPEAKER_01 (44:31):
In sync when they reunite, we'll go to the sphere.
Like the Backstreet Boys hadtheir moment at the sphere when
it was in sync.
Anyway, um, if you think aboutyour favorite artist, even if
they come out with a new album,you know, if you go to the
concert, the new artists theywant to play their new album,
sometimes they'll even play thewhole thing.
But they still they still alsoplay their biggest top hits.
Yes.
So sometimes thinking ofyourself, even if you're

(44:53):
creating a speech, what havebeen some of your top hits in
the past?
Whether or not you've used themas speech or not, what stories
have you shared or regularlyshared that people really
resonate with?
What of your ideas have youshared before, just in
conversation or on social mediaor anywhere else you're showing
up that really represent who youare?
So, in some ways, yes, you'restarting with a blank slate, in

(45:14):
other ways you're figuring outhow to repurpose and reuse some
of your best content again.
A lot of times I always kind ofI one thing I find very helpful
is what I was talking aboutearlier with the, you know.
Here's how to write apresentation quickly is even
doing, are you familiar withParkinson's law?
So it's basically this conceptthat we always the work fills

(45:36):
the time that we have.
Okay.
And so what can happen on speechwriting is a couple things.
One, we just procrastinatebecause we don't want to do it.
So we just procrastinate it, orwe get into the trap, we get
stuck because of perfectionism.
We want to wait until we havethis glorious amount of time or
everything lines up.
I usually say, hey, what wouldit look like to spend a power
hour?
Just one hour.
If you had to give thispresentation tomorrow, what

(45:59):
would it be?
If you truly had to give ittomorrow, what would you give?
And sketch out something becausesometimes just that confidence
of having something started,then you can start picking it
apart and going, well, that'snot it.
And this is not it.
And it needs to be this and itneeds to be off of this other
thing and need to develop itout.
Does it take more than an hourto write a great speech?
Absolutely.
It can take a really long time.
But spending one reallyconcentrated hour going, if I

(46:20):
had to give this tomorrow, whatwould it be?
can help you kind of start beginto bucket.
What are those core big conceptsthat you have?
But then again, back to thewhole brainstorming, you know,
from the writing perspective.
I find that, you know, I use arule that I took from another
speechwriter, Terry Zuplat.
He was speech writer for Obamafor eight years.

(46:41):
He has a wonderful book, Say ItWell, that he um is that's
another fantastic publishedspeaking read.
But he has a rule and he callsthe 50 50 2525.
So you should spend 50% of yourtime thinking, thinking about
the topic, brainstorming,processing through 25% the
actual writing and structuring,and then making sure that you
reserve 25% thinking through thedelivery.

(47:03):
So what you don't want to bedoing is still writing your
speech all the way up until themoment you're giving it and not
give yourself enough time fromthat delivery practice
perspective.
But you are also often aren'tready to write until you've done
that thought leadership work.
Some people, it comes morenaturally than others because
maybe they're writing a newspeech, but they've
professionally been living thething for 30 years.

(47:24):
That's a lot different thanmaybe if you're asked to speak
about something that maybe is alittle bit outside of the box
from your normal day-to-day jobor what you normally
communicate.
So it comes in a variety ofways.
But the biggest thing is that Ialways like to tell people
speech writing is a very messyprocess.
It's not clean and crisp andjust this linear list of steps
that's, you know, clean andorganized.

(47:44):
It can be that way sometimes,sometimes it is that way.
More often than not, it'srearranging pieces of content,
doing a additional brainstorm,realizing you have too much
content, realizing that openingstory doesn't tie into anything
else, and and revisiting andre-going and moving around and
rearranging.
And that is the natural process.
And then if it's a speech thatyou're going to give again,
again, maybe you are developingout something that you do plan

(48:08):
to give at industry conferences,or maybe you know, you're
delivering it initially to yourteam, but then your boss is
like, hey, you need to deliverit to all of these other, you
know, these other teams withinthe company, is realizing that
speeches are this living,breathing document that are
always evolving and changing aswell based on audience, who
you're speaking to, what theyneed to know.
So in a good world, you know,maybe you are able to retain 70,

(48:31):
80% of that base, but you'realways gonna want to be, okay,
what is actually resonating withpeople?
Because on paper, even runningit through with a speech coach,
it will sound one way, but thenyou realize in front of a live
audience, the way that thatlands might be different than
you expected.
The humor that you thought wasgonna slay didn't work.
I don't know.
Or maybe another piece, youknow, you you weren't expecting

(48:54):
people, every single person tocome up to you afterwards to
talk to you about the story youshared about your dad.
And you might realize, oh, youknow what?
I actually need to expand thatout and let that story breathe
more because I didn't think itwould, but for whatever reason,
that's the piece that reallyseems to be resonating with my
audience.
And so kind of always havingthat kind of like nimbleness
around it is one of the, Ithink, one of the best things

(49:15):
you can do when it comes to thatspeech writing process.
So do it fast, but thenreevaluate and keep letting it,
letting it breathe.

SPEAKER_00 (49:22):
Yeah.
So someone could really get bywith having one to three
speeches that they kind of mixand match with different pieces,
content, moving it around,because like you said, a lot of
it is repurposed.

SPEAKER_01 (49:37):
Yeah, exactly.
And so I mean, I fundamentallythink that every working
professional can should considerhaving just a base 30-minute
that could, you know, beexpanded either way, shorter or
longer, but a 30-minute speechthat represents who they are,
that layers in their story andtheir expertise.
And if they have, you know, asystem or framework or just kind
of that core concepts that youcould give if you were asked,

(50:01):
hey, can you speak at therotary?
Can you speak over here that youhave available?
But then for those who areinterested in maybe making
speaking be a bigger part oftheir professional career,
whether it's to grow theirbusiness or their brand, or they
want to make a full-time livingfrom speaking, because speaking
is fun, it's very fun.
I would, I do, I actuallyrecommend that people have four
keynotes that they considerhaving if you want to go the

(50:22):
more professional route.
So you have that signaturespeech speech, maybe a business
specific one, or maybe anonprofit one, depending on what
that signature one is, and thendeep dive into you know a nuance
of what you talk about.
And then that thought leadershiptalk.
What are you thinking about now?
What is next for you?
So if you have a book coming outin six months or a year, you
know, that kind of new thing.
Because again, ideally you'll bein a situation where you speak,

(50:46):
people are like, that wasamazing, that was incredible.
Come back next year.
You don't necessarily, you'reprobably not going to want to
give the same exact talk thenext year.
So you're going to needsomething new there as well.
But really dialing in thatsignature speech is always the
first step because that is theone that can really grow your
personal brand within yourcompany and build your business
and all of these other pieces.

(51:07):
Even if you have no interestwhatsoever in becoming a
professional speaker, having aspeech that you can give can
really start to raise yourinfluence and your credibility,
even just in the organizationyou work in.

SPEAKER_00 (51:18):
Now you have a free document that people could
download on 12 questions to ask.
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (51:24):
So 12 questions you must ask for a killer speech.
And this just goes through it'sa checklist of 12 questions.
And then I always produce a lotof content.
So it's about a 15-pagedocument, and each question kind
of breaks down like how do youtell a good story, humor.
So it asks it has you askquestions of, hey, and even the
final question is, hey, if Iwere to rank this talk from a

(51:45):
one to 10, what would I give it?
And are you happy with theranking?
And if not, maybe you revisitsome of these questions of how
can I add in more humor?
Am I using jargon or some ofthese other questions that are
within it?

SPEAKER_00 (51:54):
Okay, I love that.
We're gonna put that in the shownotes for sure so that people
can find it.
Okay, a couple final questionsfor you.
I would love for you to give mesome feedback based on what
you've seen so far, even justtoday.
How could I be a betterpresenter, podcast host?

SPEAKER_01 (52:15):
Okay, well, I think you've done a wonderful job.
And there's a lot of strengthsthat you have that I think we
can all learn.
I think one, you haveexceptionally good eye contact
in what you're speaking.
I'm sure that translates over.
And one thing that obviouslythere's just two of us today,
but one thing that makes youreye contact really good is
you're holding that full thoughtwith a person, you're not
looking all over.
So very, I feel like you havevery positive body language.

(52:38):
And I feel overall, I feel likethe structure was really great.
So I don't know if I have a tonof feedback, filler words, we
can all work on them.
I once it came up, you you wereI could see your brain
self-editing a few times, and Ifound myself doing it too.
I think just so remindingyourself to really have fun, to
have fun with it.
And then one thing I always tellpodcast hosts specifically and

(53:01):
YouTube shows is that peopletune into your show because they
love you.
And so sometimes I think thatbecause you're so eager to
highlight the guests, be willingto share more of your own
stories interspersed throughoutbecause people want to hear your
stories, which is why theyfollow your show.
Yes, they want to hear theguests, but ultimately they're
here for you.
So I always just say, have alittle more, you know, have a
little more fun even adding insome of your own stories as

(53:24):
you're interviewing the guestsas well.
Because I think everyone willagree in the comments of your
show that they they they tune inbecause they love the way that
you host and your style, whichmeans that you resonate with
them and they want to hear morefrom you and even going deeper
on those personal stories.

SPEAKER_00 (53:40):
Thank you for the feedback.
What do you think about when sowhen you're talking and me
agreeing at the same time?
Do you think there should besilence from me?

SPEAKER_01 (53:53):
Or do you think there should be I feel that
that's an age old question.
I personally like the verbalaffirmations as it is going and
that just makes me feel good asa guest.
I think, I think, I think itworks.
Have you gotten feedback beforethat maybe it doesn't?

SPEAKER_00 (54:08):
Only once or twice, but it's one of those things
where it's the one person.
Right.
It's the one person cyclingthrough the thousands.
And I'm thinking, man, maybe Ishould just be silent when the
other person's talking.
Because apparently it can maybe,I don't know, mess up the audio
for our podcast listeners.
And they're like, I think Ithink it's good.
I think you're very engaging asa host.

(54:28):
Another question I have for you.
When you think about the way youwant to show up, how would you
describe it?

SPEAKER_01 (54:35):
I want to show up authentically.
I feel like authenticity is sucha word that's thrown around, but
I really want to show up as thebest, the best, most authentic
version of myself.
And so for me, that means thatI'm gonna use self-deprecating
humor and stories because that'strue to who I am.

(54:56):
I also want to always make surethat I'm showing up as somebody
who's learning and eager tolearn.
I feel that I've been at thispublic speaking space,
communication space for a coupledecades.
I have so much to learn.
I'm learning new things all ofthe time.
Things I said two or three yearsago, I don't still agree with
all of them.
And I hope that I always show upin that way that's like nimble

(55:17):
to learn from others.
And then in general, I alwayswant to give credit where where
it's due.
I never want to rob someoneelse's thought leadership and
pretend like it's mine.
So at least I always try to kindof give credit with, oh, that I
took this idea from this person,I took this idea from that
person.
And then I always, I'm a verypractical person.
I like to know what to do thenext step.
And so I always want to show up.

(55:39):
Authentic to me also means, hey,I like practical.
What do I apply today?
So I always want to make sure Ishow up in that way.
So to me, that's whatauthenticity means for me.
And that's the way I really liketo show up.

SPEAKER_00 (55:50):
What are the habits you have, whether it's through
learning or through practicing,that help you show up that way?

SPEAKER_01 (55:58):
Yeah, that's a great one.
Well, I don't have as manydisciplined habits as I would
like because I have fourchildren.
And so all these people arelike, get up at 6 a.m.
I was like, there's alwayschildren awake all of the time.
And when you have teenagers,like literally someone is always
awake all of the time.
No quiet time.
Um, a big one for me though wasactually uh something I took
from a client a couple of yearsago.
I don't know if you've readMichael Easter's book, The

(56:20):
Comfort Crisis.
I haven't, but they'verecommended it.
So good.
He's an amazing, he's an amazingperson.
The book is phenomenal.
But one of the things hehighlights in it is rucking.
So walking with a weightedbackpack.
You can just use a weightedbackpack or they sell the vests.
And so I start every day beforeI dive into work, going a
30-minute ruck in the morning.

(56:41):
Nice.
And I, for me, that is just likeI've got to get that movement
going before I start, you know,doing doing the mind work.
And then I try to take morefrequent breaks.
I mean, every couple hours, likeI like to walk around a lot,
getting outside, trying to getoutside on that morning ruck and
other times without my phone.
I don't always succeed.
Don't always succeed.

(57:02):
But making sure that I'mspending time in the real world
outside to me is one of the bestways to kind of, you know,
re-refresh.
And because I do so muchthinking work, I'm always
hearing speeches, I'm consumingso much content.
I would say in general, a lotmore of my hobbies are more like
cooking, you know, gettingoutside, doing like more like
physical things because I use mymind so much for things.

(57:24):
So I would guess those would bea couple of the couple of the
habits I have.
That's so cool.
Rucking.

SPEAKER_00 (57:29):
I'm rucking.
I wouldn't have guessed it.
So there you go.
Start start your day goingoutside.
Yeah, and rucking.
Yeah, I love it.
Eva, I have so enjoyed ourconversation.

SPEAKER_01 (57:39):
It has been so fun.
Thank you so much for having me.
Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 (57:43):
Here are some of my takeaways from today's
conversation with Eva.
First of all, I loved thefeedback that she gave me and
the reminder to be authenticallyme.
That's true for you too.
She said it multiple times inher own conversation.
Be authentic.
Don't try and delegate what youwant to say or your speech

(58:05):
writing or your thoughtleadership.
That needs to come from you,especially in today's society.
Be more authentically you.
Number two, remove those fillerwords, y'all.
I use like and um way too much.
I'm going to become way moreintentional in noticing that.

(58:27):
And it's going to start today.
I feel a little bithypocritical.
Just a couple of days ago, Itold a team member, hey, watch
how many they asked for thisfeedback.
And I said, my only feedback Ihave for you over the past week
is don't use like as much.
And then here I am using like.
Ugh, can't stand it.
What about you?
What are those filler words youuse that if you could just

(58:50):
remove those from your speech,automatically you would come
across more powerfully in yourcommunication?
Number three, the pause.
How much more powerful is it toprovide those pauses in your
communication so that the thingsyou say land with impact?

(59:12):
You can see that I did it there.
Now you can pause too much atplaces that it doesn't make
sense.
And people will think, why isshe talking in such a weird
cadence?
Or you can use your speech anduse the pauses strategically in
order for different words anddifferent points that you want

(59:34):
to hit to land with momentum.
That's what you want to thinkabout.
So before you start your nextpresentation, allow for that
power pause.
Allow for the room to breathe sothat all eyes can come on you
before you take control.
Those are my three takeawaysfrom today's episode.

(59:55):
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Until next week, stay strong.