May 12, 2026 • 33 mins
I have a PhD in performance psychology.
I know, with absolute certainty, that the morning sets the tone for the entire day.
And I have been fundamentally screwing mine up.
Checking Slack before my feet hit the floor.
Scrolling Instagram before I'd said a word to God.
Trying to ramp from stillness straight into a 4-mile run with zero transition.
By 9am I'd feel that weight settle on my chest. Anxious. Irritable. Behind.
Two hours into a day I'd started peaceful and hopeful.
So I documented 7 days of my mornings.
Not the highlight reel. The real thing.
The day I woke up an hour late.
The day I cried during my quiet time.
The day I sat with my journal from 2 years ago and realized I still hadn't done the thing God told me to do.
What I learned isn't "wake up at 5am" or "follow these 12 steps."
It's this: I have to learn to BE before I DO. Because when my doing comes from a frantic place, everything I touch carries that frenzy with it.
Your version might be the opposite. You might need movement first, stillness later. That's the point.
There's no universal morning routine. There's only the one that helps YOU show up as your best self.
In this video, I'll walk you through all 7 days, what worked, what fell apart, and the key takeaway that applies whether you're a stay-at-home parent, a CEO, or somewhere in between.
I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.
The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."
We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.
If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.
New episodes every Tuesday.
Don't just exist. Show up.
🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com
🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_01 (01:28):
The most important part of your day is the morning
routine.
And I know this to befundamentally true as having a
PhD in performance psychology.
But here's the thing I have beenfundamentally screwing mine up
for a while now.
(01:48):
I have not been focused on doingthe things that I know set me up
for success every singlemorning.
There's a lot that I want to getdone too in my mornings.
I want to have my closet time,my prayer time, my Bible
reading, drink my coffee, do myworkout, and then get ready and
go to work.
It's kind of a lot.
But what I've been findingmyself doing is actually
checking Instagram, checkingSlack, checking email, and my
(02:11):
thoughts get really jumbled.
And I end up having worse daysbecause of it.
So I realized this about a weekago.
And so I spent the next sevendays documenting my morning
routine to try and actually holdmyself accountable.
And I want to share that withyou.
So what you're about to see iswhat I did over seven days.
(02:34):
How I started my mornings,things that happened, things I
learned, places I failed.
And at the end, I'm gonna comeback and I'm gonna share with
you the key takeaway thatmatters for you, not just from
watching me, but what I learnedthat can also help you have a
better morning routine so youcan have a better day, so that
you can have a better life.
I know that sounds reallycheesy, but I think morning
(02:56):
routines are that important.
Let's watch.
But for good reason.
Last night I was a girl's nightwith some girls from church that
I went to, and it was superfilling for the emotional part
(03:18):
of my pies.
So sometimes that's okay, but Ididn't set an alarm, so now it's
7 a.m.
And I still need to have mymorning routine.
I want to make my coffee, grindit, pour over the whole thing,
uh, drink my coffee whilereading my Bible, and I need to
(03:40):
work out.
I don't know if I'm gonna havetime to work out before
something I have to go to at 11,that I also have to make a cake
for.
And we're gonna see.
We're just gonna see.
So I gotta do my morningcheck-in on Vonic Powers out.
(04:32):
Trying to have my quiet time.
unknown (04:34):
Let's see.
SPEAKER_01 (04:37):
This is very distracting.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Hey, go back here.
SPEAKER_01 (04:41):
Okay, so update on day one.
Uh not going great.
I was able to do my Biblereading, have my coffee.
It's all great, but there's alot of noise.
Like my kids were playing videogames, and my husband was
playing video games, and thetone my husband used this
morning kind of like ended upsetting me off a little bit,
even though he was beingplayful.
I was just like not in the mood.
(05:03):
And oh, so like I I woke upfeeling so calm and happy, and
two hours in, and I feel anxiousand frustrated and overwhelmed.
Like, how did it derail soquickly?
And so I haven't done myworkout.
I'm running late to thisMother's Day thing that I have
to do, and I'm like, okay, I'vegot to restructure and
(05:26):
restrategize.
I feel like I maybe have toomuch expectations for myself of
things that I can get done, andso it ends up overwhelming me
when I don't get it all done inthe time frame and in the
process that I wanted it to getdone.
So um chatted a little bit withthe very, very intentionally
(05:48):
programmed AI that's in my PISAapp, which is specifically
instructed to only beinformational about the
assessment that I take and aboutmy check-ins and like helping me
understand data and not at allbeing coachy or friendy or
anything like that, which Ireally appreciate.
So um just kind of likeprocessed through the data
(06:10):
there.
Um and I'll share a little bitmore later, but basically, like
one of the things I'm noticingis I have a very all or nothing
mindset, and I am going tooquickly between different
activities.
So I go from a very like downregulating, peaceful activity
(06:31):
like prayer or stillness orsilence, like right into okay,
ramp up and go run four miles.
Um it's not allowing my nervoussystem to adapt.
And so I am good.
I'm really good at likeunderstanding my emotions, but
I'm not very good at the restand regulation between emotional
states.
(06:52):
So one of the things that I'mgonna try is allowing more time.
So try and do less in a givenperiod of time and allowing more
time to transition fromstillness into things that are
more upregulating, like startingmy work day, getting things
done.
So I'm gonna think about how I'mgonna do that.
(07:20):
So I finally got to the gym atfour.
Three, I don't know, late, laterthan normal snow, but I'm here.
Right.
Trying to get rid of that likeall-in-looking mindset.
Just a headlift, about to dosome other stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (07:40):
Day two, morning two.
SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Today I am praying and fasting as well.
So really just trying to.
Just trying to center my mindand pray, which is hard for me
sometimes to like stay focused.
(08:04):
During prayer, my mind wanders alot.
So I was just trying to likegive myself time and space and
grace.
SPEAKER_00 (08:11):
And then so I'm about to get out.
I'm gonna do my check-in, I'mgonna make my coffee, I'm gonna
read my Bible.
I plan for today because todaymy focus is different, is to
just find the time for quiet.
I want to walk.
(08:32):
Um that'll be my workout fortoday.
Read my Bible, journal, pray.
Until until I don't know, untilI hear from God on something
that I'm praying about.
So let's do my check in.
SPEAKER_01 (09:04):
So two years ago, I took a sabbatical from work for
four months.
And during that time, this is myjournal from them.
During that time, I reallystrongly felt like God gave me a
(09:29):
vision for for the future andfor what I needed and wanted to
do.
And it kind of brought a bunchof things that have been desires
on my heart since I was veryyoung.
Like it kind of brought all ofthem together, and I haven't
(09:51):
done it.
I haven't done it, and so one ofthe reasons that I am praying
and fasting today is because I'mtrying to figure out how to do
it, and so I'm going back, andit was around this exact same
time, two years ago, that I wason my sabbatical.
(10:15):
Uh, and so I'm looking at liketoday's date.
Like today is May 3rd, and I'mlooking at my entry in my
journal from May 3rd of 2024 andthe things that I said.
Um, I'm just gonna read this,even though it's very
vulnerable.
We'll see how this goes.
(10:36):
What could it look like formarriage helper to focus on
people on meeting people's reallife needs of relationships and
marriage?
But in doing that, living andshowing a gospel-focused life,
which is ultimately the endresult of meeting those needs,
(10:57):
and also taking that and doingit in third world countries.
What if we could find a way tobridge the gap between the rich
and the poor?
Both ways.
Those in third world countrieshave a joy and simplicity to
life that we don't.
How can they help us?
How can we in turn help them inreal and meaningful ways?
(11:21):
Through health care, education,food, um, even relationships.
God, show me where the need is.
I trust you to have the vision.
(11:48):
Can't believe that was two yearsago.
God allow me to crave you morethan I crave food, and to be
more preoccupied with you thansatisfying my immediate needs.
Please keep me strong in mymoments of weakness and to
remember all the people goingwithout food and for my heart to
(12:13):
break for them.
And then I wrote, 90 to 95% ofthe world lives on$3 a day.
So, like this was on my heartduring my last sabbatical.
And during that sabbatical, Istarted meeting with some
pastors around the world that Iknew.
So I would got on Zoom with apastor from India, with a pastor
(12:35):
from Kenya, and with a pastorfrom uh Haiti.
Actually, I met with him here,he was in town.
And I was just like, tell meabout marriages in your culture.
What's the need?
And all of them said they'rethey're breaking, they're
(12:56):
struggling, they're failing,they're there's crazy need.
And the pastors from Nairobi,Pastor Peter Abungu, he said,
Kimberly, fatherlessness in ourcommunity is keeping families in
poverty.
It's keeping children stuck inthe slums.
(13:18):
It's keeping, like when girlsdon't have a father to protect
them, they're more likely to besexually assaulted and raped.
Because like marriages aren'tstrong.
The fatherlessness epidemic thatleads to so much poverty starts
with a strong marriage, and itreminds me of what Dr.
(13:39):
David Matsumoto said when hecame on my podcast several years
ago how do you end terrorism?
How do you change a culture?
It has to start within the home.
Because within the home, peoplelearn to love or they learn to
hate.
Within the home, people learn tolove and have a healthy
marriage, or they learn to hate.
(14:04):
So we went.
We went to Kenya and we did thisfor the first time.
Like we trained 120 pastors inNairobi and in the countryside
called Siya with their spousesabout marriage and how to have a
godly, healthy marriage.
And pastors who had been pastorsfor 20 to 30 years were coming
(14:24):
up and saying, I've never been,I've never been taught anything
about marriage.
And it was, and like women whocame in and didn't have a voice
on the first day began to speakand began to understand and
began to feel like they had aplace in the marriage, and
(14:45):
things began to change.
And then we went to thecountryside and we did it all
again with no one who spokeEnglish, so we had to have
translators for the whole thing.
And these people were so hungryfor this teaching that they left
their jobs and their farms,which they get like every day,
what they get is what allowedthem to eat that day.
(15:11):
So them coming to do this meantthat they may not eat that day.
There was this one woman, I'llnever forget her face, who
brought us her fresh crop ofbananas.
Just like this big bag ofbananas one day.
(15:32):
Because she was so appreciative.
It was just like they're sowilling to give.
And they're so hungry for Godand to have good marriages, and
that's what that's what Godwants me to do.
(15:55):
So why haven't I done it?
It's day three.
Mainly the biggest thing I'mdoing with my morning routine
right now is not checking Slackemail or Instagram first thing
in the morning.
(16:19):
Still make my coffee.
And yeah, so this morningparticularly, I had to set an
alarm.
I hate setting an alarm.
I like waking up naturally, butI need I need to get some things
(16:43):
done and be at the office at aspecific time.
So I'm feeling a little likepressured.
It's 6 a.m.
I'm gonna drink my coffee.
I'm gonna do my Bible reading.
I'm gonna try and get out thedoor and running by 7:30.
And uh back by 8:30, I shouldhave time, but I have meetings
(17:07):
to prep for.
Like a mass email that I need towrite.
I'm ready for my run.
Wearing a hat that someone gaveme yesterday that came to one of
our workshops, and she said,whenever you wear it for your
(17:27):
runs, pray for Boston.
So, Boston, I'm praying for you.
I've gotten my to-do morningroutine list done.
Uh so prayed, journaled.
Oh my gosh, I didn't read myBible.
I did read my Bible, but I readmy Bible in preparation for the
(17:50):
Devo that I'm reading tomorrow.
And maybe I feel like thatdoesn't count.
Okay, need to maybe do a littlemore reading of scripture this
morning.
I'm gonna run, I'm gonna getready, feeling good.
I've lost which day I'm on.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, two.
Oh, my day four.
Monday four of my new morningroutine.
(18:13):
Today was probably the hardestof all of them.
Uh I kind of forgot, like, I'mnot checking Instagram or
anything like that.
And I did, and I was like, ohman, I'm s kind of I got stuck
in the loop, and I noticed ittoday.
I noticed once I startedchecking things, I wanted to
keep checking things, and so Ididn't like that.
(18:36):
But here's the other thing.
I'm kind of feeling like moreanxious than normal today.
I am leading Devo at work, andwhile I'm used to leading Devo,
the thing that I'm talking abouttoday is really close and dear
to my heart, and so it's justI'm a little nervous.
I'm a little nervous.
(18:56):
And I tell, I tell my team, um,every time I lead Devo, I'm
probably most nervous for tothem, like to actually speak to
that team, even though it's oneof the smaller groups I ever
speak to.
I feel like they're one of themost important groups that I
speak to, and so I just feel alot of not pressure, but
(19:21):
responsibility.
So that's kind of on my heart.
So I was, you know, kind offeeling like when I got to the
gym, I was like, oh, I'm tired.
I don't know that it, I don'tknow that this is gonna go well.
Then I ended up lifting 20pounds heavier on my front squat
(19:46):
than I did last week, which waspretty incredible.
So I ended up performing reallywell, even though I didn't feel
like it.
That goes to show you can'talways trust your feelings.
Honestly, I'm feelingoverwhelmed this morning.
I didn't sleep.
(20:06):
I mean, I slept fine.
I woke up from probably 2 30 to345.
I know 2 30 to 3 30-ish.
Just concerned about things.
That's like like those are thetimes.
Sometimes my anxiety is theworst.
(20:27):
It was like the middle of thenight when I wake up and I can't
do anything about anythingexcept pray.
And then I'm always great atjust focusing on prayer.
I tend to like worry even when Itry to pray.
My brain just like goes toworrying.
(20:47):
And so I just feel likesometimes the only prayer I have
is God, like take all thesethings as I keep worrying about
them.
So, make my coffee.
It's a rainy day.
My routine's gonna look a littledifferent.
But I think that another thingthat I'm realizing is there's
(21:09):
just like maybe my morningroutine.
It's like all these things Iwant to get done by a certain
time so I can get to work, andit's just like a lot of things
on my plate every day.
There's a lot I have to get doneevery day.
(21:30):
And my morning routine is a partof that, but also my morning
routine helps set me up forsuccess the rest of the day, so
I'm just trying to think throughmy morning routine truly
helping.
Or is it kind of hurting?
Day six, making my coffee.
(21:54):
Not gonna lie.
Uh I checked my slack thismorning.
Not supposed to do that.
I was thinking a lot thismorning about what is the
purpose of a morning routine.
Why, why is it so important?
And here's what I think.
(22:18):
A routine is a set of habitsthat you just have already
decided to do.
So it unclogs yourdecision-making process in your
mind, right?
Habits are decisions that you'vealready made.
(22:38):
So when you wake up in themorning, you don't have to
think, like, what do I do?
What do I want to do now?
Which can then lead us to justdo things that are easy and not
necessarily fruitful.
So in thinking about it thatway, in thinking about it that
(22:59):
way, why is a morning routine soimportant?
Because it ensures that you dothe things that are most
important to set your day up forsuccess, which is why it's not
gonna work.
It does work, which is why it'sso easy to fall to the most mind
(23:24):
numbing things when we wake up,like wanting to.
Check Instagram, check email,check work.
It's just like the habit that wedo the majority of our day.
But I what I have found is whenI do those things first, all the
hope I had for my day is gone.
(23:47):
And here's here's what I mean bythat.
There's a there's a lot ofthings that I wake up and they
seem very clear to me.
Things that I've been wrestlingwith, thinking about, decisions
that need to be made.
All of those seems seem to bemost clear in the morning.
And so when I then end up justgoing to my lowest hanging
(24:10):
fruit, the lowest hangingtemptation of my day, those
things become foggy again,especially if I haven't captured
them.
And it's like it sets it sets meback in productivity, in
thinking.
So for me, and I think for a lotof people, when you think of
(24:32):
your morning routine, it's likethis is important because it
sets my day up for success towhere I'm more likely to be
joyful, productive, calm,confident, happy, excited, and
less irritable, angry,impatient, distracted, anxious.
(24:54):
All of those things.
It's just simply become moreimportant for the things that I
have chosen to do, which arelike for me, the first thing I
(25:21):
need to do is journal and readmy Bible.
That's like the most groundingthing that I can do.
And I notice a difference when Idon't do those things.
When I look at my like the Piesapp and my Pies guide, that soul
(25:43):
calibration part of thespiritual part of attraction.
The soul calibration is thatinput of how am I being still
seeking God, finding the spacefor just silence and stillness
(26:05):
instead of just go, go, go, go,go, because it's from the
silence and stillness that weactually are rooted and can then
go forth and bear fruit.
Reminds me of John 15.
Remain in me.
(26:27):
Remain in me and you will abidemuch fruit.
If you do not remain in me, youcannot, you will not abide, or
you will not produce much fruit.
And I think through the daysthat I wake up and I'm just
hurrying and getting through andchecking things that don't
matter, and very distracted, arealso the days I'm more likely to
(26:55):
not produce fruit because I'mmore distracted, anxious,
irritable.
Where's the days where I start?
Silence and stillness.
And that's me, and that'sbecause of my work, right?
I like I there's people likewhen I was on sabbatical and I
(27:19):
was a and I wasn't working, so Iwas more of a stay-at-home mom.
My I could have that silence andstillness later in the day
because my kids were gone atschool.
And so I think that's the otherthing.
Like your morning routine, ifyou have people you're taking
(27:41):
care of, maybe your morningroutine is more getting things
done, like having that time togo and work out, um, to do those
things that are really gonna setyou up for success health-wise,
help you release tension, getgood, like endorphins running
with exercising.
And then later in the day iswhen you have that time of
(28:02):
silence and stillness.
So it's not like my morningroutine is the best morning
routine, it's that my morningroutine is the best morning
routine for me because of whatmy work demands are.
So every person's gonna have totake that into account.
Okay, that's my thoughts.
(28:24):
I drink my coffee from a cutelittle mug that I got in
Switzerland at a Christmasparty.
Walking today.
It's my rest day.
So we're at day seven.
(28:47):
If I'm being real, I alreadychecked my email.
I just woke up with likethoughts and like think my
wheels were already turning, andI just felt like I had to
satisfy that urge and like checkon a couple of things.
I don't know that I regret it,but I need to.m instead of
(29:19):
spending my time in the Bibleand journaling.
It's like I don't want to dothat, but I'm gonna do that
because I know that's theimportant thing.
(29:41):
Here's my key takeaway from aweek of intentionally focusing
on my morning routine.
It's important to learn to justbe instead of frantically do.
And that's maybe for mepersonally.
I am wired to be the kind ofperson who just wants to get up
and work, check things off alist, get things done.
(30:02):
And I find that when I actuallygive into that is when I begin
to really feel that sense ofoverwhelm.
It's like literally, if I wereto tell you how it feels in my
body, it's like a weight startscoming down on my chest and on
my shoulders.
And it's like this feeling ofexpectation.
Not a good expectation, likesomething good's gonna happen,
but I have a lot of expectationson me.
(30:24):
So, what does it look like forme to release some of that so
that I can learn to just bebefore I do anything, so that my
doing comes from a more groundedplace instead of like I'm a
chicken with my head cut offrunning around, which may be a
very southern phrase, but that'swhat I that's what I feel like
(30:45):
when I just start my day withSlack, email, Instagram.
It's like I'm a hamster on awheel that that always just has
to keep looking at those thingsand doing those things.
And what I do becomes my worth.
Whereas when I can start inBible, in scripture, in
meditation, in prayer, insilence, I'm kind of teaching my
(31:07):
nervous system, it's okay tojust be.
You are still good, you arestill worthy, you still are
loved before you ever doanything.
And that's the hard part for me.
Now, for you, you may beopposite from me.
You may love a rest andrelaxation day.
(31:28):
And it may take more for you toend up getting motivated.
So maybe your morning routineshould be centered around doing
something, maybe getting up anddoing your workout, getting
those things checked off the boxbecause you know that maybe
you're more likely to be alittle slower throughout your
day, which isn't bad.
The idea of the morning routineis how can you prioritize the
(31:50):
things that are going to helpset you up for success?
And it's gonna be different forevery person, depending on how
every person's wired, on what'simportant to every person, and
really ultimately, how are youtrying to show up better?
If you are struggling withmotivation, then start your
morning doing the things thatwill help you have more
(32:13):
motivation.
Go for a walk, get outside, goand do something that's very
movement and activation based.
I don't need a lot ofmotivation, extra motivation in
my life.
I'm a very batteries-includedtype of person.
So I need to start with moresuppression, with more stopping
and being and doing before I goand activate.
(32:37):
So think about that for you.
Based on your stage of life,based on if you're a
stay-at-home parent right now ora working individual, all of
those things, find a morningroutine that works for you and
prioritize the thing in yourmorning routine that's gonna
help you show up your best self,because that's the goal of all
of this.
(32:57):
I would love to know what youare going to do different for
your morning routine.
Comment below in the video.
And I hope you liked this one.
This one was kind of new anddifferent, and we did it a
different way.
It was super fun.
But if you loved it, I wouldlove to know that as well.
Until next time, stay strong.
The most important part of your day is the morning
routine.
And I know this to befundamentally true as having a
PhD in performance psychology.
But here's the thing I have beenfundamentally screwing mine up
for a while now.
(01:48):
I have not been focused on doingthe things that I know set me up
for success every singlemorning.
There's a lot that I want to getdone too in my mornings.
I want to have my closet time,my prayer time, my Bible
reading, drink my coffee, do myworkout, and then get ready and
go to work.
It's kind of a lot.
But what I've been findingmyself doing is actually
checking Instagram, checkingSlack, checking email, and my
(02:11):
thoughts get really jumbled.
And I end up having worse daysbecause of it.
So I realized this about a weekago.
And so I spent the next sevendays documenting my morning
routine to try and actually holdmyself accountable.
And I want to share that withyou.
So what you're about to see iswhat I did over seven days.
(02:34):
How I started my mornings,things that happened, things I
learned, places I failed.
And at the end, I'm gonna comeback and I'm gonna share with
you the key takeaway thatmatters for you, not just from
watching me, but what I learnedthat can also help you have a
better morning routine so youcan have a better day, so that
you can have a better life.
I know that sounds reallycheesy, but I think morning
(02:56):
routines are that important.
Let's watch.
But for good reason.
Last night I was a girl's nightwith some girls from church that
I went to, and it was superfilling for the emotional part
(03:18):
of my pies.
So sometimes that's okay, but Ididn't set an alarm, so now it's
7 a.m.
And I still need to have mymorning routine.
I want to make my coffee, grindit, pour over the whole thing,
uh, drink my coffee whilereading my Bible, and I need to
(03:40):
work out.
I don't know if I'm gonna havetime to work out before
something I have to go to at 11,that I also have to make a cake
for.
And we're gonna see.
We're just gonna see.
So I gotta do my morningcheck-in on Vonic Powers out.
(04:32):
Trying to have my quiet time.
unknown (04:34):
Let's see.
SPEAKER_01 (04:37):
This is very distracting.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Hey, go back here.
SPEAKER_01 (04:41):
Okay, so update on day one.
Uh not going great.
I was able to do my Biblereading, have my coffee.
It's all great, but there's alot of noise.
Like my kids were playing videogames, and my husband was
playing video games, and thetone my husband used this
morning kind of like ended upsetting me off a little bit,
even though he was beingplayful.
I was just like not in the mood.
(05:03):
And oh, so like I I woke upfeeling so calm and happy, and
two hours in, and I feel anxiousand frustrated and overwhelmed.
Like, how did it derail soquickly?
And so I haven't done myworkout.
I'm running late to thisMother's Day thing that I have
to do, and I'm like, okay, I'vegot to restructure and
(05:26):
restrategize.
I feel like I maybe have toomuch expectations for myself of
things that I can get done, andso it ends up overwhelming me
when I don't get it all done inthe time frame and in the
process that I wanted it to getdone.
So um chatted a little bit withthe very, very intentionally
(05:48):
programmed AI that's in my PISAapp, which is specifically
instructed to only beinformational about the
assessment that I take and aboutmy check-ins and like helping me
understand data and not at allbeing coachy or friendy or
anything like that, which Ireally appreciate.
So um just kind of likeprocessed through the data
(06:10):
there.
Um and I'll share a little bitmore later, but basically, like
one of the things I'm noticingis I have a very all or nothing
mindset, and I am going tooquickly between different
activities.
So I go from a very like downregulating, peaceful activity
(06:31):
like prayer or stillness orsilence, like right into okay,
ramp up and go run four miles.
Um it's not allowing my nervoussystem to adapt.
And so I am good.
I'm really good at likeunderstanding my emotions, but
I'm not very good at the restand regulation between emotional
states.
(06:52):
So one of the things that I'mgonna try is allowing more time.
So try and do less in a givenperiod of time and allowing more
time to transition fromstillness into things that are
more upregulating, like startingmy work day, getting things
done.
So I'm gonna think about how I'mgonna do that.
(07:20):
So I finally got to the gym atfour.
Three, I don't know, late, laterthan normal snow, but I'm here.
Right.
Trying to get rid of that likeall-in-looking mindset.
Just a headlift, about to dosome other stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (07:40):
Day two, morning two.
SPEAKER_01 (07:43):
Today I am praying and fasting as well.
So really just trying to.
Just trying to center my mindand pray, which is hard for me
sometimes to like stay focused.
(08:04):
During prayer, my mind wanders alot.
So I was just trying to likegive myself time and space and
grace.
SPEAKER_00 (08:11):
And then so I'm about to get out.
I'm gonna do my check-in, I'mgonna make my coffee, I'm gonna
read my Bible.
I plan for today because todaymy focus is different, is to
just find the time for quiet.
I want to walk.
(08:32):
Um that'll be my workout fortoday.
Read my Bible, journal, pray.
Until until I don't know, untilI hear from God on something
that I'm praying about.
So let's do my check in.
SPEAKER_01 (09:04):
So two years ago, I took a sabbatical from work for
four months.
And during that time, this is myjournal from them.
During that time, I reallystrongly felt like God gave me a
(09:29):
vision for for the future andfor what I needed and wanted to
do.
And it kind of brought a bunchof things that have been desires
on my heart since I was veryyoung.
Like it kind of brought all ofthem together, and I haven't
(09:51):
done it.
I haven't done it, and so one ofthe reasons that I am praying
and fasting today is because I'mtrying to figure out how to do
it, and so I'm going back, andit was around this exact same
time, two years ago, that I wason my sabbatical.
(10:15):
Uh, and so I'm looking at liketoday's date.
Like today is May 3rd, and I'mlooking at my entry in my
journal from May 3rd of 2024 andthe things that I said.
Um, I'm just gonna read this,even though it's very
vulnerable.
We'll see how this goes.
(10:36):
What could it look like formarriage helper to focus on
people on meeting people's reallife needs of relationships and
marriage?
But in doing that, living andshowing a gospel-focused life,
which is ultimately the endresult of meeting those needs,
(10:57):
and also taking that and doingit in third world countries.
What if we could find a way tobridge the gap between the rich
and the poor?
Both ways.
Those in third world countrieshave a joy and simplicity to
life that we don't.
How can they help us?
How can we in turn help them inreal and meaningful ways?
(11:21):
Through health care, education,food, um, even relationships.
God, show me where the need is.
I trust you to have the vision.
(11:48):
Can't believe that was two yearsago.
God allow me to crave you morethan I crave food, and to be
more preoccupied with you thansatisfying my immediate needs.
Please keep me strong in mymoments of weakness and to
remember all the people goingwithout food and for my heart to
(12:13):
break for them.
And then I wrote, 90 to 95% ofthe world lives on$3 a day.
So, like this was on my heartduring my last sabbatical.
And during that sabbatical, Istarted meeting with some
pastors around the world that Iknew.
So I would got on Zoom with apastor from India, with a pastor
(12:35):
from Kenya, and with a pastorfrom uh Haiti.
Actually, I met with him here,he was in town.
And I was just like, tell meabout marriages in your culture.
What's the need?
And all of them said they'rethey're breaking, they're
(12:56):
struggling, they're failing,they're there's crazy need.
And the pastors from Nairobi,Pastor Peter Abungu, he said,
Kimberly, fatherlessness in ourcommunity is keeping families in
poverty.
It's keeping children stuck inthe slums.
(13:18):
It's keeping, like when girlsdon't have a father to protect
them, they're more likely to besexually assaulted and raped.
Because like marriages aren'tstrong.
The fatherlessness epidemic thatleads to so much poverty starts
with a strong marriage, and itreminds me of what Dr.
(13:39):
David Matsumoto said when hecame on my podcast several years
ago how do you end terrorism?
How do you change a culture?
It has to start within the home.
Because within the home, peoplelearn to love or they learn to
hate.
Within the home, people learn tolove and have a healthy
marriage, or they learn to hate.
(14:04):
So we went.
We went to Kenya and we did thisfor the first time.
Like we trained 120 pastors inNairobi and in the countryside
called Siya with their spousesabout marriage and how to have a
godly, healthy marriage.
And pastors who had been pastorsfor 20 to 30 years were coming
(14:24):
up and saying, I've never been,I've never been taught anything
about marriage.
And it was, and like women whocame in and didn't have a voice
on the first day began to speakand began to understand and
began to feel like they had aplace in the marriage, and
(14:45):
things began to change.
And then we went to thecountryside and we did it all
again with no one who spokeEnglish, so we had to have
translators for the whole thing.
And these people were so hungryfor this teaching that they left
their jobs and their farms,which they get like every day,
what they get is what allowedthem to eat that day.
(15:11):
So them coming to do this meantthat they may not eat that day.
There was this one woman, I'llnever forget her face, who
brought us her fresh crop ofbananas.
Just like this big bag ofbananas one day.
(15:32):
Because she was so appreciative.
It was just like they're sowilling to give.
And they're so hungry for Godand to have good marriages, and
that's what that's what Godwants me to do.
(15:55):
So why haven't I done it?
It's day three.
Mainly the biggest thing I'mdoing with my morning routine
right now is not checking Slackemail or Instagram first thing
in the morning.
(16:19):
Still make my coffee.
And yeah, so this morningparticularly, I had to set an
alarm.
I hate setting an alarm.
I like waking up naturally, butI need I need to get some things
(16:43):
done and be at the office at aspecific time.
So I'm feeling a little likepressured.
It's 6 a.m.
I'm gonna drink my coffee.
I'm gonna do my Bible reading.
I'm gonna try and get out thedoor and running by 7:30.
And uh back by 8:30, I shouldhave time, but I have meetings
(17:07):
to prep for.
Like a mass email that I need towrite.
I'm ready for my run.
Wearing a hat that someone gaveme yesterday that came to one of
our workshops, and she said,whenever you wear it for your
(17:27):
runs, pray for Boston.
So, Boston, I'm praying for you.
I've gotten my to-do morningroutine list done.
Uh so prayed, journaled.
Oh my gosh, I didn't read myBible.
I did read my Bible, but I readmy Bible in preparation for the
(17:50):
Devo that I'm reading tomorrow.
And maybe I feel like thatdoesn't count.
Okay, need to maybe do a littlemore reading of scripture this
morning.
I'm gonna run, I'm gonna getready, feeling good.
I've lost which day I'm on.
Saturday, Sunday, Monday, two.
Oh, my day four.
Monday four of my new morningroutine.
(18:13):
Today was probably the hardestof all of them.
Uh I kind of forgot, like, I'mnot checking Instagram or
anything like that.
And I did, and I was like, ohman, I'm s kind of I got stuck
in the loop, and I noticed ittoday.
I noticed once I startedchecking things, I wanted to
keep checking things, and so Ididn't like that.
(18:36):
But here's the other thing.
I'm kind of feeling like moreanxious than normal today.
I am leading Devo at work, andwhile I'm used to leading Devo,
the thing that I'm talking abouttoday is really close and dear
to my heart, and so it's justI'm a little nervous.
I'm a little nervous.
(18:56):
And I tell, I tell my team, um,every time I lead Devo, I'm
probably most nervous for tothem, like to actually speak to
that team, even though it's oneof the smaller groups I ever
speak to.
I feel like they're one of themost important groups that I
speak to, and so I just feel alot of not pressure, but
(19:21):
responsibility.
So that's kind of on my heart.
So I was, you know, kind offeeling like when I got to the
gym, I was like, oh, I'm tired.
I don't know that it, I don'tknow that this is gonna go well.
Then I ended up lifting 20pounds heavier on my front squat
(19:46):
than I did last week, which waspretty incredible.
So I ended up performing reallywell, even though I didn't feel
like it.
That goes to show you can'talways trust your feelings.
Honestly, I'm feelingoverwhelmed this morning.
I didn't sleep.
(20:06):
I mean, I slept fine.
I woke up from probably 2 30 to345.
I know 2 30 to 3 30-ish.
Just concerned about things.
That's like like those are thetimes.
Sometimes my anxiety is theworst.
(20:27):
It was like the middle of thenight when I wake up and I can't
do anything about anythingexcept pray.
And then I'm always great atjust focusing on prayer.
I tend to like worry even when Itry to pray.
My brain just like goes toworrying.
(20:47):
And so I just feel likesometimes the only prayer I have
is God, like take all thesethings as I keep worrying about
them.
So, make my coffee.
It's a rainy day.
My routine's gonna look a littledifferent.
But I think that another thingthat I'm realizing is there's
(21:09):
just like maybe my morningroutine.
It's like all these things Iwant to get done by a certain
time so I can get to work, andit's just like a lot of things
on my plate every day.
There's a lot I have to get doneevery day.
(21:30):
And my morning routine is a partof that, but also my morning
routine helps set me up forsuccess the rest of the day, so
I'm just trying to think throughmy morning routine truly
helping.
Or is it kind of hurting?
Day six, making my coffee.
(21:54):
Not gonna lie.
Uh I checked my slack thismorning.
Not supposed to do that.
I was thinking a lot thismorning about what is the
purpose of a morning routine.
Why, why is it so important?
And here's what I think.
(22:18):
A routine is a set of habitsthat you just have already
decided to do.
So it unclogs yourdecision-making process in your
mind, right?
Habits are decisions that you'vealready made.
(22:38):
So when you wake up in themorning, you don't have to
think, like, what do I do?
What do I want to do now?
Which can then lead us to justdo things that are easy and not
necessarily fruitful.
So in thinking about it thatway, in thinking about it that
(22:59):
way, why is a morning routine soimportant?
Because it ensures that you dothe things that are most
important to set your day up forsuccess, which is why it's not
gonna work.
It does work, which is why it'sso easy to fall to the most mind
(23:24):
numbing things when we wake up,like wanting to.
Check Instagram, check email,check work.
It's just like the habit that wedo the majority of our day.
But I what I have found is whenI do those things first, all the
hope I had for my day is gone.
(23:47):
And here's here's what I mean bythat.
There's a there's a lot ofthings that I wake up and they
seem very clear to me.
Things that I've been wrestlingwith, thinking about, decisions
that need to be made.
All of those seems seem to bemost clear in the morning.
And so when I then end up justgoing to my lowest hanging
(24:10):
fruit, the lowest hangingtemptation of my day, those
things become foggy again,especially if I haven't captured
them.
And it's like it sets it sets meback in productivity, in
thinking.
So for me, and I think for a lotof people, when you think of
(24:32):
your morning routine, it's likethis is important because it
sets my day up for success towhere I'm more likely to be
joyful, productive, calm,confident, happy, excited, and
less irritable, angry,impatient, distracted, anxious.
(24:54):
All of those things.
It's just simply become moreimportant for the things that I
have chosen to do, which arelike for me, the first thing I
(25:21):
need to do is journal and readmy Bible.
That's like the most groundingthing that I can do.
And I notice a difference when Idon't do those things.
When I look at my like the Piesapp and my Pies guide, that soul
(25:43):
calibration part of thespiritual part of attraction.
The soul calibration is thatinput of how am I being still
seeking God, finding the spacefor just silence and stillness
(26:05):
instead of just go, go, go, go,go, because it's from the
silence and stillness that weactually are rooted and can then
go forth and bear fruit.
Reminds me of John 15.
Remain in me.
(26:27):
Remain in me and you will abidemuch fruit.
If you do not remain in me, youcannot, you will not abide, or
you will not produce much fruit.
And I think through the daysthat I wake up and I'm just
hurrying and getting through andchecking things that don't
matter, and very distracted, arealso the days I'm more likely to
(26:55):
not produce fruit because I'mmore distracted, anxious,
irritable.
Where's the days where I start?
Silence and stillness.
And that's me, and that'sbecause of my work, right?
I like I there's people likewhen I was on sabbatical and I
(27:19):
was a and I wasn't working, so Iwas more of a stay-at-home mom.
My I could have that silence andstillness later in the day
because my kids were gone atschool.
And so I think that's the otherthing.
Like your morning routine, ifyou have people you're taking
(27:41):
care of, maybe your morningroutine is more getting things
done, like having that time togo and work out, um, to do those
things that are really gonna setyou up for success health-wise,
help you release tension, getgood, like endorphins running
with exercising.
And then later in the day iswhen you have that time of
(28:02):
silence and stillness.
So it's not like my morningroutine is the best morning
routine, it's that my morningroutine is the best morning
routine for me because of whatmy work demands are.
So every person's gonna have totake that into account.
Okay, that's my thoughts.
(28:24):
I drink my coffee from a cutelittle mug that I got in
Switzerland at a Christmasparty.
Walking today.
It's my rest day.
So we're at day seven.
(28:47):
If I'm being real, I alreadychecked my email.
I just woke up with likethoughts and like think my
wheels were already turning, andI just felt like I had to
satisfy that urge and like checkon a couple of things.
I don't know that I regret it,but I need to.m instead of
(29:19):
spending my time in the Bibleand journaling.
It's like I don't want to dothat, but I'm gonna do that
because I know that's theimportant thing.
(29:41):
Here's my key takeaway from aweek of intentionally focusing
on my morning routine.
It's important to learn to justbe instead of frantically do.
And that's maybe for mepersonally.
I am wired to be the kind ofperson who just wants to get up
and work, check things off alist, get things done.
(30:02):
And I find that when I actuallygive into that is when I begin
to really feel that sense ofoverwhelm.
It's like literally, if I wereto tell you how it feels in my
body, it's like a weight startscoming down on my chest and on
my shoulders.
And it's like this feeling ofexpectation.
Not a good expectation, likesomething good's gonna happen,
but I have a lot of expectationson me.
(30:24):
So, what does it look like forme to release some of that so
that I can learn to just bebefore I do anything, so that my
doing comes from a more groundedplace instead of like I'm a
chicken with my head cut offrunning around, which may be a
very southern phrase, but that'swhat I that's what I feel like
(30:45):
when I just start my day withSlack, email, Instagram.
It's like I'm a hamster on awheel that that always just has
to keep looking at those thingsand doing those things.
And what I do becomes my worth.
Whereas when I can start inBible, in scripture, in
meditation, in prayer, insilence, I'm kind of teaching my
(31:07):
nervous system, it's okay tojust be.
You are still good, you arestill worthy, you still are
loved before you ever doanything.
And that's the hard part for me.
Now, for you, you may beopposite from me.
You may love a rest andrelaxation day.
(31:28):
And it may take more for you toend up getting motivated.
So maybe your morning routineshould be centered around doing
something, maybe getting up anddoing your workout, getting
those things checked off the boxbecause you know that maybe
you're more likely to be alittle slower throughout your
day, which isn't bad.
The idea of the morning routineis how can you prioritize the
(31:50):
things that are going to helpset you up for success?
And it's gonna be different forevery person, depending on how
every person's wired, on what'simportant to every person, and
really ultimately, how are youtrying to show up better?
If you are struggling withmotivation, then start your
morning doing the things thatwill help you have more
(32:13):
motivation.
Go for a walk, get outside, goand do something that's very
movement and activation based.
I don't need a lot ofmotivation, extra motivation in
my life.
I'm a very batteries-includedtype of person.
So I need to start with moresuppression, with more stopping
and being and doing before I goand activate.
(32:37):
So think about that for you.
Based on your stage of life,based on if you're a
stay-at-home parent right now ora working individual, all of
those things, find a morningroutine that works for you and
prioritize the thing in yourmorning routine that's gonna
help you show up your best self,because that's the goal of all
of this.
(32:57):
I would love to know what youare going to do different for
your morning routine.
Comment below in the video.
And I hope you liked this one.
This one was kind of new anddifferent, and we did it a
different way.
It was super fun.
But if you loved it, I wouldlove to know that as well.
Until next time, stay strong.
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