March 25, 2025 • 37 mins
Amber recently released a book about her incredible and inspiring journey titled Clean Start: A Teen Mom’s Journey from Suicide Survivor to Real Estate Investor. She opens up about her troubled upbringing, the loss of her son's father, and her eventual triumph in business and life. Amber discusses the importance of routine, journaling, and personal growth, as well as her future goals, including coaching and skydiving. This inspiring conversation highlights resilience, transformation, and the power of a 'clean start.'
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I just want everyone to know youcan have a clean start no matter
what.
It doesn't have to be, you know,a suicide survivor to that
extreme.
It could be starting a new job.
It could be starting college.
It could be, you know, leaving aabusive household.
It could be just becoming a momfor the first time or a dad.
Like anyone can have a cleanstart.
Don't give up on yourself, youknow, continue to push through.
(00:22):
You really can be surprised whatyou're capable of when you're
like pushed to your limits.
Welcome to The Wayfinder Showwith Luis Hernandez, where
guests discuss the why and howof making changes that lead them
(00:43):
down a more authentic path orallow them to level up in some
area of their life.
Our goal is to dig deep andprovide not only knowledge, but
actionable advice to help youget from where you are to where
you want to be.
Come join us and find the way toyour dream life.
(01:11):
Welcome back to The WayfinderShow.
I'm your host, Louis Hernandez.
And today we're joined by AmberCliphouse.
Amber is the author of CleanStart, a teen mom's journey from
suicide survivor to real estateinvestor.
Amber is a bonafide badass, andher story is one of resilience
and transformation, rising fromlife's toughest challenges to
(01:32):
building success in real estate.
She's here to share her journeyand powerful lessons she's
learned along the way.
Amber, welcome to The WayfinderShow.
for having me.
Yeah, thank you.
I've been wanting to make thishappen for a while because like
I was mentioning before we gotstarted, uh, you're well,
there's two reasons why one isbecause we have a mutual friend
(01:52):
who connected us, right?
Mark Owens is one of our firstguests.
And, uh, you know, talk aboutsomebody who's been through some
stuff and still come back and,and just, uh, really achieved
great things in life.
He's one of them and, and youhave too.
So I, I love that.
And it also is like the originalpurpose of our show was to
inspire people who are kind ofgoing through it and let them
(02:13):
know, Hey, you can go throughstuff and still get out and, and
really succeed in life.
Right?
Sure.
Of course.
Yeah.
So let's start with yourjourney.
Let's start from the beginning.
Let's go back to when you were16 years old or before you were
16 years old at that point youdecided to To leave your home,
(02:33):
right?
Did you just run away?
Yeah, just run away.
It wasn't I wasn't rebelling Um,I I don't like to bash my mom.
She wasn't really equipped to bea mom She always chose whatever
men in her life first So it wasa very toxic, um, relationship.
I struggle with depression veryearly on.
I'm very open about that in mybook.
A lot of people kind of hush it.
(02:54):
It's a little more known now,but, um, I was struggling to,
um, stay alive and I knew tosurvive, I needed to run away
and go back with my grandma.
Um, so that's what I did.
I ran away when I was 16.
Okay.
And you were in Baltimore?
Um, yes.
Well, I was living in Baltimorewith my mom.
Second husband, her thirdhusband.
(03:16):
We moved to Glen Burnie.
Um, it's a little complex.
It makes sense in the book, butshe took me away from like my
grandmother, my sister, everyoneI ever knew.
We moved to Anne Arundel Countyand I didn't know anyone there.
Um, there were some pretty darktimes there.
Um, once we moved to a newCounty, new place, and I was
very depressed.
I went to Shepherd Pratt.
I, um, tried to commit suicide.
(03:37):
It was just a very dark time forme.
Wow.
Okay.
So you mentioned your mother.
You didn't mention your father.
So were you raised by a singlemom as well?
Um, my father left before Icould even remember.
I probably seen him three, four,maybe five times.
Um, so she was never single.
Like I said, she always had likea husband or abusive spouse of
(04:00):
some sort.
So we were kind of bouncedaround and every, um, man that
was in her life, she would haveme call dad, which was super
unfortunate and confusing for,you know, a young girl without
her real father.
Um, but yeah, it was just herand whatever husband at the
time.
Yeah.
And what about your grandmother?
Um, my grandmother was one toughbadass.
(04:21):
I mean, she.
She was, you know, the type thatsays how it is.
There's no sugarcoating it.
My sister actually ran away whenshe was eight, and she was
living with my grandmom.
Yeah, she's three years old.
So you were a late bloomer.
Yeah.
Well, I had a younger brother,and I didn't want to leave him.
I felt like my maternalinstincts kicked in very, very
early.
Um, my brother's three yearsyounger than me, so I was the
(04:42):
middle child.
My sister left.
His father was very abusive, andI just stayed to kind of like
protect him.
Um, it wasn't until my mom'sthird husband, he was not
abusive at all.
Um, but there was some otherstuff going on.
But when I knew my brother wasold enough to fend for himself,
and it was like my life in handsbecause I was becoming suicidal,
I knew I had to get out if Iwanted to like live another day,
(05:04):
unfortunately.
But he was strong enough.
He actually joined the army heleft to when he was 18.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
So, so then you.
I mean, you know, the firstthing that comes to mind that's
interesting is, uh, well, Iguess on your grandmother's
side, did you have agrandfather, too, that was
involved?
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
He died, um, I don't rememberwhat year, but I guess the last
(05:27):
decade my grandma was alive, hewas not.
But he was in the picture veryearly on, like I remember going
and visiting him when we wereyounger, when I was still living
at home, but when I ran away, hewasn't alive anymore.
It was just my grandma.
Okay.
Yeah, I only, I, later on we'regoing to talk about your, your
husband and, uh, but I, I'mcurious, you, you kind of broke
a cycle there, you know?
(05:48):
Yeah.
Which is interesting, right?
What was that like?
It was really hard, right?
Because I, again, I didn't wantto leave my little brother.
I did not, I was very committedto taking care of him and
holding him when the fightshappened, when the abuse
happened.
Um, but again, it was just And Ijust, I knew I did not want to
repeat that life and continue tolive that way.
(06:09):
And I, you know, my life wasprecious and it was really, it
was like life or deathsituation.
I know it sounds extreme, but Iwas, I tried to commit suicide
on more than one occasion.
Sure.
And, um, I just, I had tosurvive and, you know, find my
own clean start.
Yeah.
Well, I guess what I meant withthat was you now have, uh,
(06:33):
you've been married for a numberof years now, right?
We've only been married since2022.
We've been together for 17 yearsnow.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, you know, so you've been acouple for a long time and, uh,
and it sounds like you've, youknow, we'll get more into that,
but I mean, you, you kind ofbroke the cycle.
You mentioned your mother, youknow, uh, was with different men
(06:54):
or her.
Time and everything and you yougot you have one really good
solid relationship now I'm sureyou have your ups and downs like
all of us do but you know forthe most part you get How and
when we don't have that example,it's it can be hard, right?
Like we don't know what asuccessful Relationship looks
like sure, right?
(07:14):
How?
And what love was and you knowcreate it on our own.
So yeah, it's definitelysomething if you're not taught
It's hard to figure it out, youknow on your own.
Yeah Yeah, what, what, what doyou, how, how, what, what were
the influences that, Um, soagain, I don't know if you want
to jump to the second part, butafter I ran away, I went with my
(07:35):
grandma and I kind of wentthrough the rebelling teenage
stage and I got pregnant and,um, my, I was 17 when I got
pregnant and my son's fatheractually committed suicide.
Oh.
And, um, when I was 18, my sonwas six months old and I found
him hanging in a tree.
So that was another, um, youknow, start over clean start, so
(07:59):
to speak.
It wasn't so clean at the time,but I had to, again, I felt like
when I left my brother again,you know, two years prior, I had
to do that again.
My son, Stevie, he's 19 now, butwe've come a long way.
So I had to pick up the piecesagain.
And, you know, without beingable to pick up the phone and
call my mom, I had to just findthe strength within myself and
(08:20):
have a clean start to raise thisbaby I was now responsible for.
Yeah.
Okay, so you think, like, sothat was really ultimately the
maternal instinct, like, as youput it, kicking in.
That led to all that, right?
You were just trying to be agood mother, whether it was for
your brother or your son, itseemed like.
Yeah.
Interesting.
So, so you, just doing the mathas you're going, um, it sounds
(08:46):
like your current husband, um,came into the picture when your
son was about two years old.
Yep, yep, he's done it since hewas two.
So he's really a dad for him.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's 100 percent his father.
Yeah, he's, he had a two yearold daughter, uh, strange
enough.
My son has blonde hair, blueeyes, I'm not sure if your
listeners will be able to see,but I have dark hair, dark skin.
(09:07):
Yeah.
And his daughter, um, at two,she has blonde hair, blue eyes.
So everyone thought growing upthey were twins.
And if we never see them again,we're like, yeah, they're twins.
It's just too complicated.
They're six months apart, butit's crazy the way fate happens
to work out.
And, um, it's crazy.
Yeah.
And do they love each other likebrother, sister?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they do.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
(09:28):
So how did, how did he come intothe mix?
Justin, it's embarrassing, but Imet him on MySpace.
Okay.
Oh man, MySpace.
I know.
I know.
So for people who don't know,that was like a predecessor of
Facebook, right?
Right.
Way before Facebook.
Yeah.
Um, he messaged me.
Um, I wasn't a type to like datea lot because of my mom's
(09:50):
history.
And I was trying to be like, youknow, strong single mom vibes.
But I thought I knew his sisterin photos, like when I looked at
his photos.
Um, we ended up talking on thephone and I didn't know his
sister, but still we had a greatconnection.
We talked for a long time and wemet at a club and I haven't left
him since.
(10:10):
Okay.
Wow.
Cool.
So, uh, so you guys blended yourfamilies.
Um, yeah.
Good.
So, so let's talk about.
Cool.
Um, another side of, of yourjourney, clean start or not the
book, but I guess the cleaningbusiness, you got into a
cleaning business, right?
How did, what was that all like?
(10:31):
So when I, cause my husband, Idon't, I came with extra, extra
baggage, you know, single mom,just my son and I, um, he was co
parenting his daughter with themom.
Um, but it was just me andStevie and I worked for a
cleaning company, uh, aroundNovember, like the year we met,
the guy just shut down thecompany.
Like, he changed his number.
(10:52):
He, um, cleared out the wholeoffice.
And at the time I was a headcleaner because I worked there
for a while and I was prettywell known.
A lot of people requested me andI was devastated.
Right.
It was right before Christmas.
I'm like.
I just felt like I kept gettingknocked down, like knocked down
after knockdown.
Sure.
I didn't make the best choices.
Right.
But I was trying to be the bestmom and just survive in this
life.
(11:13):
And, um, he, Justin was like, myhusband now was like, why don't
you just start your own cleaningcompany?
I'm like, I can't do that.
It's like, you don't know how toclean.
I'm like, I mean, I do, butlike, what am I going to do?
It's like get bonded and shortand just.
clients.
And I did, I knock on the doorsand called and I was able to run
the cleaning company for 15years.
(11:35):
single handedly.
I never hired anybody.
I didn't trust them enough.
Um, working with the previouscleaning company, people steal.
And my clients were like familycause they took me on at my
darkest time.
They were familiar with mystory, Stevie's dad.
Um, so they were family to me.
So I just took care of thatmyself.
Oh wow.
Okay.
(11:55):
Interesting.
So, So it never, do you think,um, that, you know, oftentimes
that keeps, like, how'd you getout?
Let's put it that way.
You, you, it was your ownbusiness, but you were doing
everything.
So, you know, you were theindividual contributor as well
as the business owner.
Well, like I said, they werelike family.
(12:15):
So they understood, like theyknew Justin started getting a
real estate.
He was working, um, you know, aW2 job at Domino's sugar around
COVID.
He got his real estate license,um, started looking into like
podcasts, listening to become aninvestor.
Um, so it was already like onthe works, like we were making
this shift, but he was kind ofstepping into it.
He supported me to start my owncompany.
(12:38):
So when he's like, I'm going toleave my job.
Which was, you know, goodincome, unlimited overtime
benefits.
I had to support him becausehe's, you know, supported me all
those years ago.
Um, But once he found the flowof real estate and started
investing in rentals, um, I sawthat it would be beneficial if I
kind of teamed up with him, withthe lead calling.
(13:00):
And for those who don't know LeeCollins, when you call to buy
the house that people are tryingto sell, and I kind of use my
maternal role because it's avery intimate phone call.
A lot of people are just, youknow, really.
Trying to be aggressive to buytheir house, but people are
selling their house because theyhave a problem, right?
Like they're going through adivorce or they inherited or
someone died.
It's a very Unfortunate side ofthings but it needs to be done.
(13:24):
So I kind of let my clients knowlike hey I'm not gonna be
working this many hours or thismany days a week because i'm
doing this Um, they kneweventually the transition would
happen and I prepared them andthey supported me all the way up
until the end, until I had, Iwas doing maybe two houses a
week, then one house, and thenthey just.
Kind of let me go.
(13:45):
Oh wow.
Okay.
So, so now you, you and him, areyou and your husband are
basically partners in businessas well now and just doing the
real estate investment thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How does that breakdown happen?
Um, so now I'm more so theproperty manager.
I don't do lead calling anymore.
I just kind of deal with, youknow, um, tenant issues or.
(14:07):
Rents and that kind of thing.
You know, all the fun stuff thatcomes with property management.
Um, but honestly the deal was Iwas gonna stop cleaning and do
the lead calling, but that's thetime I wrote my book.
That's the time I was able tofind myself to really heal and
get to know myself and um, ittranspired to something
completely different, which I'mgrateful for because I wouldn't
(14:28):
be as strong and confident as Iam today.
Yeah.
So in, in the process of writingthe book, did you do this?
With the intention of, of, youknow, having a New York times
bestseller or was it a healingjourney or just to inspire
folks?
Like what, what was the intentthere?
Um, honestly, it was just ahealing journey.
(14:49):
When we were a part of amastermind group, we would
visit.
Different states quarterly.
So on the airplane, I wouldwrite about just what I thought
of seeing my first hockey gameor just taking in all these
different worlds ofentrepreneurism and writing
about it.
And then I started writing aboutmyself and really got to know
myself for the first time byjournaling.
(15:09):
And I unlocked so much stuffthat I didn't even know was
there.
The front cover of my book is alittle girl with a long, dark
hallway.
And, um, I go through everysingle door, every trauma, every
hurt and pain and kind of go in.
And heal and forgive, forgetwhatever I need to do and close
the door and keep on moving.
Yeah, wow, that's uh, that'sreally powerful.
(15:31):
So, you know, they say, um,Oftentimes when you have like
trauma when you're young youkind of stunt your growth,
right?
Like you kind of stop there andyou don't progress from it Did
you find that writing thejournal in the way you did the
book in the way you did?
Kind of help like revisit thatso you can regrow.
Did you was that was that partof it?
(15:53):
Yeah, definitely.
Cause when you're, you know, amom and you're just trying to
survive, it's just like, go, go,go.
And I, I didn't even process alot of the things that I went
through.
So I think, you know, afterwriting the book, you know, I
think you were the first one toreach out to me.
The book's been out since lastApril and I was like, yeah, I
want to do it.
But I was just still dealingwith the process of writing the
book and finally reading my ownstory for myself.
(16:16):
I had a moment of like almostbreakdown again.
I read the book and it was done.
It was great.
But I'm like, I can't do this.
I can't put this out for theworld.
It's too private.
It's too intimate.
But I knew if I didn't, it wouldbe a disservice because if I can
save one person's life andmotivate them to keep going,
that's the whole point.
It's not to be a bestseller.
It's just to help just oneperson.
(16:37):
Yeah, so what's one in there?
What is one of those doors youuncovered that really?
That really broke you down whenyou were rereading it or or even
along the way that it just madeyou stop and Um, probably
definitely the suicide for myson's father.
Um, revisiting that chapter.
(16:57):
I remember like everything I, Iwas at the club when it
happened.
Like I'm very open with myreaders.
I'm not, you know, I'm, I'm, I'mhuman.
I'm not a robot.
I'm not perfect by any means.
Um, Steve, Stevie's father wassupposed to be clean at the time
he had him.
Um, I guess he had relapsed oncethe bar was mom.
Thank God Steve's sister had gothim.
(17:18):
But I remember that very clear.
And writing it and rereading it.
And, um, when I got the phonecall, he said he was going to
kill himself.
And I remember feeling my soncrying and like, I just went
back to that moment.
And I was, you know, 18 yearsago, so long ago.
And, um, I just remember it soclearly.
(17:39):
And when I found Steve hangingin the tree, my best friend was
with me and she called her mom.
And I just remember her sayinglike, mom, Steve hung himself.
He hung himself.
And in that moment, I didn'thave a mom to call, you know?
So that was like.
Damn, I haven't had a mom likemy whole life, but I'm still
thriving.
I'm still surviving.
So that was probably one of thehardest chapters to revisit for
sure.
(17:59):
I bet.
Um, yeah, no, it's, it's deepstuff.
It's real stuff, you know, for,I gotta say, I'm, I'm struggling
now right now as we're goingthrough, because you actually,
um, our listeners don't know,but my, you know, I, I, I have,
(18:20):
uh, I, I've been, you know, Ididn't have the same
circumstances, but like.
Both of my sisters, they'reyounger than me.
They were both teen moms.
They both went, they both hadkids with different fathers and,
and such.
And now I have a niece that isgoing through that as well.
Um, so I understand some of the,I mean, I don't understand.
I, I haven't, you know what Imean?
But I, I struggle with it allthe time.
(18:41):
So it's like, as you're saying,some of these things is touching
base, some of the, yourcircumstances were theirs and I
don't know.
So what, what do you say tosomebody like me who doesn't,
you know, we, we haven't gonedown that.
Same road of struggle.
We might have been in thoseenvironments, but we we didn't
go into that.
You know, we weren't suicidal Wedo have loved ones who were you
(19:02):
know, we we weren't the ones whowere pregnant or had kids as
teenagers or you know Thingslike that, but we want to help
sure, you know So, I mean, Iguess it just be open minded a
lot of times this world withsocial media.
We're so Blinded by filters andjust judging right away.
Like I'm sure a lot of thethings like you knew about my
(19:24):
story, you knew it would begreat, but like, you didn't know
if you turn that stone, that wasgoing to be there, you know?
Well, it's kind of like don'tjudge a book by it's not that
you're judging me by any meansbut just as To your audience in
general like really just try tobe patient and understanding and
just support one another I feellike this world has become such
a dark Judgy place and that'sanother reason why I wrote my
(19:45):
book because there's more behindother people's story Like a lot
of people know me from myhusband because he's in the real
estate world But they had noidea I had this whole story and
whole other side That's, youknow, forget the houses and
stuff for all people withemotions at the end of the day.
And I feel like everyone has astory, you know?
Yeah.
How did building a business helpyou with your personal, um, you
(20:12):
know, evolution and journey?
For the cleaning business or thereal estate side?
Either one.
I mean, I imagine that there'sthings that you go through with
building a business that helpedyou become who you are now,
right?
Like get out of Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I'm just building abusiness with a cleaning
company.
I was, I was 20, I guess when itwas up and running like full
(20:34):
force.
And it's so incredible to lookback at Amber, 16 runaway to 17
and pregnant to finding, youknow, my son's father, 18 and 20
to have my own business, right?
Like it's so liberating to lookback at those hurdles.
If you just keep going and keepgoing and push through.
Um, but building the businesshas taught me a lot about
myself.
(20:55):
Well, And it's just taught methat, you know, if I can do it,
anyone can do it.
I want to say like it's, if youhave a determination to do
anything in life, you just gotto go for it.
And it's really motivated me inother areas of my life to kind
of just keep going.
Yeah.
I wonder, sometimes I think, um,we still define ourselves by who
(21:19):
we were.
Mm hmm.
And I'm curious as to who youare.
Yeah.
Now.
Who are you?
How would, how do you, you know,what is your elevator pitch now,
as if I were to meet you at amixer somewhere?
Yeah, I mean, I would say thatI'm a author.
I would say I'm a, you know,business over business owner.
(21:40):
I am a wonderful mother anddedicated wife and friend.
I live life to its fullest.
I rarely turn down theopportunity to like just live
and adventure.
I'm very outgoing.
I finally found myself, youknow, and I'll tell people that
like I, it took a long time, butwriting this book, I learned who
Amber was.
(22:00):
It was a healing journey, like Isaid many times, but it, that's
the best way to put it, like, Ifeel like we should all get to
know ourselves and put thefilters aside and social media,
put the phones down.
I know it's hard to do, but likereally get to know yourself and
who you truly are.
That's great.
Are there any other likestrategies you learned along the
way?
You've obviously mentionedjournaling.
(22:22):
Yeah.
Um, you know, any, any other,yeah, just strategies you use,
you've learned to really helpyou.
You know, keep kicking buttYeah, definitely having a
routine in place.
Um, growing up we didn't haveroutine, so routine became
crucial for me.
Um, not only journaling, but I,I, um, go to the gym every
(22:44):
morning and I journal and, youknow, drink my coffee and I put
myself first.
Right.
And I am not afraid to admitthat.
Years ago, I wouldn't be becauseI'm a mom, right?
I should take care of my kidsand my husband.
But like, if I don't fill up mycup first, I can't give to
anybody else.
So now I'm very mindful that Icome first and that way I can
(23:05):
give my best self to, you know,my husband and my kids and just
the world itself, but definitelyhaving routines in place, like
journaling, going to the gym,and then what rest of the day
kind of follows.
Where are you going next?
As far as life, trips, what doyou mean?
Yeah, yeah, life, like what'snext?
(23:25):
When, when looking into thefuture, where, where to, who is
Amber going to be 10 years fromnow?
So right now, like my goal, um,for this year and then moving
forward is just maintaining allthe routines I put in place.
Like I said, I, um, stoppeddrinking alcohol.
I'm coming 500th day.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
(23:45):
And it's really, again, it'sjust another part of my clean
start story.
I really know who I am withouthaving the substance to cover
up, you know, my past or mystress and all that.
Um, so I'm really truly gettingto know myself.
We are doing our first missionstrip in Guatemala coming up in
February.
So I'm super excited about that.
(24:07):
Um, and I'm homeschooling myyoungest son.
He's eight.
He's in second grade.
So I'm really just maintainingthe systems I put in place for
myself because depression isstill within me.
Right.
So I need to take care of myselfso I can stay out of that dark
place.
I haven't been there in a verylong time, but as you know,
seasons and things flare up.
So I'm just focusing onmaintaining all the good I
(24:29):
brought in my life.
And I'm not really trying tolevel up right now.
I'm just maintaining.
Okay, cool.
Any, any like long term goals?
I want to do coaching school.
Um, I kind of went at the end oflast year.
My goal was to bring my storyand inspire other people who've,
(24:49):
you know, are just feeling stuckand feel like they can't do it.
They don't know where to getstarted.
But right now I put a pause onthat to focus on homeschooling
my son.
Um, because my other son, Stevenis now graduated from high
school and Lexi's graduated fromhigh school.
They're starting their careers.
So my eight year old is stillvery much needing me and he is
my last baby.
So I'm trying to like, you know,I'm really enjoying this time,
(25:13):
but down the road I definitelywant to do coaching.
Okay.
Like life coaching.
Yeah, for sure.
Awesome.
Okay, cool.
What about, um, Um, geez, I kindof, I'm kind of at a blank right
now.
I mean, do you, do you have anydemons that you feel like you
(25:33):
still have to work on?
I do.
I mean, I struggle with my mom,right?
I mean, it's my mom and being amom.
I don't understand.
Um, my children are myeverything, all of them, all
three of them.
I love them to death.
I don't understand how you canbring something into this world
and.
not worry about them, wonder howthey're doing and just reach
(25:56):
out.
I mean, I would spend every lastday on earth reaching out to my
child if they cut me out, justwriting letters and just try.
So I always like a demon is likemy mom and dad, you know, cause
I didn't have it.
And it's so important to Justinand I to be the best parents
like we can be.
So that's, I think it'ssomething I'm always going to
struggle with.
Um, but I'm getting better atit.
(26:19):
Okay, is your mom still alive?
Yeah, she is.
Okay, and you have arelationship with her?
No, we do not.
None at all.
Interesting.
No, we, she never really, sowhen I had Stevie, we were like
on and off again, of course,when I got pregnant.
Um, when Steve died, she camearound and then she was gone
(26:39):
again.
And then as Stevie was growingup, she, she was like in and
out, the picture neverconsistent.
She, um, would tell Stevie shewould be at his basketball game,
just not show up.
And when he was old enough to,like, get let down by her, I
kind of cut her out because Ididn't want him growing up with
the same thing I grew up with.
Um, he understands now.
(27:00):
He can reach out to her if hewanted to, but he has no desire
to.
They did in the past, but she'snever been consistent.
And I guess it's just easierwithout than being left alone.
I wonder if she's read the book.
I'm sure she has.
I, I mean, I would hope so.
I forgive her in the book,right?
I don't bash her.
I just say, I feel like,personally, as a mom, some
(27:23):
people have that mother instinctand some people don't.
Some people just can't.
Um, put their selfish ways asideand I kind of sound like a
hypocrite because now I'm like,I'm selfish.
I come first.
Jim journal.
But like, it's in a differentway.
Like my children are taken careof.
They know they're my world.
They know I love them.
But again, if I'm not my bestself, I can't give them my best
(27:44):
self.
So it's, it's different the waymy mom is.
She's, she is who she is and Iforgive her for it.
Okay.
Uh, what do you think herreaction to the book would be?
Hmm, I think um, I hope it givesher some type of closure because
this is my story, right?
Again, it's not to bash her.
I hope she understands Um, youknow, the doors I had to go
(28:08):
down, the shadows I crossed overto get to this point.
I hope she's proud of me, um,you know, where I'm happy.
My husband loves me and supportsme and at the end of the day for
my kids, all I would want forthem is to be happy and I am
truly happy regardless of ourrelationship and how it
unfolded.
Like, I just hope she's proud ofme and happy.
(28:28):
Yeah.
I can't imagine she's not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Amber, thank you for sharing allthat.
I mean, is there anything elsewith this that you want to leave
our listeners with?
Um, I mean, the only thing is, Ijust want everyone to know, you
can have a clean start no matterwhat.
It doesn't have to be, you know,a suicide survivor to that
extreme.
It could be, Starting a new job.
(28:50):
It could be starting college.
It could be, you know, leaving aabusive household.
It could be just becoming a momfor the first time or a dad.
Like anyone can have a cleanstart.
Don't give up on yourself.
You know, continue to pushthrough.
You really can be surprised whatyou're capable of when you're
like pushed to your limits.
I love that.
Well, on that note, let's getinto our, uh, world famous
(29:14):
Wayfounder4.
So give us a hack.
I mean, you've mentioned a fewalready.
Uh, this is just a life hack.
You kind of do every day.
I know you've mentionedgenerally and going to the gym,
anything else?
Maybe.
Um, a life hack would definitelybe, like I said, routine.
And even if it's, as far as likemy kids and stuff go, but
(29:36):
picking out your clothes in lifebefore packing your lunch, like
just having that routine.
So that way your morning's notso stressful and you feel a
little more prepared.
So definitely like prepping andhaving some type of routine in
place.
Okay.
How about a favorite?
Just, uh, this is something youjust like to do or a show you
like or book or anything.
(29:58):
Um, my favorite is Florida.
I love beaches.
I love being in the sun.
I love just the Floridasunshine.
Are you moving there anytimesoon?
Like, every other person?
We have a condo down there.
We have a condo.
You know, I try to go once amonth if I can convince my
husband.
Cool.
Where, whereabouts?
(30:18):
In Tampa.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, so we're like 30 minutesfrom Clearwater Beach.
So it's beautiful there.
Yeah, yeah, my wife and I, mywife's family lives in Sarasota,
but we want to have a home, uh,eventually, we're out in Denver
now, um, but we eventually wantto be snowbirds and have a home
in, uh, St.
Petersburg.
(30:39):
Yes, I love St.
Petersburg.
I love St.
Petersburg.
We love St.
Petersburg as well.
Anywhere.
I'll take Sarasota, St.
Pete, Anna Marie, all thosebeautiful places.
Yeah, they are.
That's all of them.
That's right.
That's right.
All right.
How about a piece of advice?
Normally, we'd say a piece ofadvice for your younger self,
but I'm going to askspecifically for your 16 year
(30:59):
old self.
Oof.
I would tell her.
You're going to be a badass oneday.
You're going to be reallysurprised how it turned out.
Yeah.
Could you have believed it?
No, absolutely not.
I still don't believe it somedays.
I still got to talk myself up.
I'm very proud of myself.
I'm very proud of the hurdles Iovercame.
(31:20):
I'm very proud of 16 year oldyou.
That's awesome.
You know, let me ask you, what,what specifically is it now when
you think about where you areand knowing you're a badass,
what is it specifically thatmakes you feel like a badass?
Is it.
Like, is there something aboutwhat you have in your life now
that you just point to and say,Hey, I'm a badass.
(31:42):
Um, I love myself.
I, I think I'm a badass becauseI went from, I know this is
dark, but I wanted to killmyself and not be here a long,
long time ago to where I justlove life.
I love myself.
I love the world I created.
I love that.
That's, that's a great answer.
Um, all right.
(32:02):
How about last one?
You get to choose between a bigopportunity or a limiting
belief, either like one that yousee out there or have had, or,
or, you know, what do you meanby limiting belief?
Like, uh, just something that,you know, you, that you, uh,
(32:26):
like a, a limit.
That you place upon yourself,you know, that keeps you from,
you know, doing something thatyou think you can't do.
I can tell you, you mentionedearlier that What's that?
A big opportunity for sure.
I love opportunities to doanything.
So what is, so tell us one thatyou see.
I really want to jump out of aplane.
(32:47):
My husband promised if I gotscuba certified, which we did,
that he would jump out of aplane with me.
And I'm going to hold him tothat.
So you see a big opportunity injumping out of planes?
Yes, because life is, you know,it's meant to be lived.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
Are you guys going to do, areyou going to do it like tent by
(33:09):
that?
Do you mean like tandem, like goto a local school and just jump
on somebody's back and jump out?
But I think if you get like Xamount of jumps, you can jump
out by yourself if we reallylike the thrill of it.
Yeah.
Is that the goal?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's actually something I'vebeen wanting to do.
And it's not even hard.
You can just kind of go anyweekend and just pay the fee and
(33:32):
Mark wants to do it too.
So we can all go jump out on aplane.
Yeah.
all jump out a plane together.
What a great opportunity thatis.
All right.
That'd be so fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The um, yeah, if you ever comeout to Colorado, there's a place
not too far from where I livedat.
A lot of people go to, I loveany excuse to travel, so we'll
have to plan a trip to Colorado.
Yeah, this is a great place.
(33:53):
Ask Mark.
So, yeah, I'm sure he'll comealong.
Yeah, he will.
Um, he better Yeah.
So what, uh, what if, if peoplewanna get your book, you know,
uh, if they wanna know moreabout you, if they wanna reach
out to you, if they just need tosomebody like yourself to talk
to, how can they do So?
Um, my book is available onAmazon.
It's just Clean Start by AmberClip House.
(34:15):
I also was so passionate aboutjournals.
I made my own journal.
Oh, cool.
So that's, yeah, that's also onthere.
It's, um, it's.
It's just Clean Start Journal,also by Amber Cliphouse, so they
both come up when you searchthat.
Um, I'm on Facebook, uh, AmberCliphouse, or Instagram is at
acliphouse22.
(34:36):
Um, you know, feel free, ifyou're struggling with
something, if you just need someinspiration, if you have any
questions about, like, how I gotover the hurdle or just need the
vent, you know, feel free todirect message me on Instagram
or Facebook.
I love helping people.
It's like my love language.
I'm a Pisces.
I'm super empathetic and justlove giving back anyway.
Um, but yeah, you can find methere.
(34:57):
Excellent.
Tell me more about the journal.
You, is it, is it like a guidedjournal?
You have some questions in thereand stuff for people to answer
every day?
Um, actually the first, uh, justto make it fun, the journal, it
has like a bucket list and oneof mine is skydiving on there
and do a missions trip.
So I, um, I wanted to make itfun.
(35:18):
Right.
So first the bucket list andthen it's the three goals for
yourself, kind of like a 90 daygoal journal, and then I have
just the morning and eveningreflections, like what's
something that I'm grateful for,but something good that happened
today.
So it's just random prompts.
Um, I love journaling so much.
I just incorporated a bunch ofdifferent favorites from each
(35:38):
one and compiled it into my own.
Yeah, I love that.
I've thought about doing thismyself sometimes.
I mean, I've had a couple folkson the show who have done
journals.
I, I just think it's, it'sgreat.
And over time you develop yourown routine, right?
Like I, yeah, I started with arunning journal and then I tried
different ones.
And then that led to other kindsof journals.
And then like I, yeah, I've hadit.
(36:00):
Ideas for my own but then itwould I feel like it would only
be my own really becauseeverybody kind of develops their
own Journal of the team.
That's that's the magic, right?
Yeah Mine's a little differentbecause it's like I said, you
had the bucket list to make itfun You have the 90 day goal for
the people who really want toset goals Just the morning
evening and then in the back islike blank pages If you just
want to free write and I alsohave like a list of 20 prompts
(36:28):
I'm very grateful for life.
I live.
I'm very grateful to still behere to this day to live, you
know, another day.
So gratitude is big for me.
And that's a part of my journalas well.
Excellent.
Well, thank you, Amber.
Um, We started off by, uh,mentioned that you're a bonafide
badass and, and I think now ourlisteners can see why.
(36:50):
Uh, keep doing what you'redoing.
Keep kicking ass, keep inspiringpeople.
Um, it's been a real pleasure tohave you here and I look forward
to, you know, seeing more ofyour journey along the way.
I think you can do some reallybig things over the next, uh,
the rest of your life really.
So I can't wait to see what theyare.
Thanks so much for having me.
I look forward to skydiving withyou.
Yeah, that's right.
(37:11):
Take care.
Bye.
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We'll catch you on the nextepisode.
I just want everyone to know youcan have a clean start no matter
what.
It doesn't have to be, you know,a suicide survivor to that
extreme.
It could be starting a new job.
It could be starting college.
It could be, you know, leaving aabusive household.
It could be just becoming a momfor the first time or a dad.
Like anyone can have a cleanstart.
Don't give up on yourself, youknow, continue to push through.
(00:22):
You really can be surprised whatyou're capable of when you're
like pushed to your limits.
Welcome to The Wayfinder Showwith Luis Hernandez, where
guests discuss the why and howof making changes that lead them
(00:43):
down a more authentic path orallow them to level up in some
area of their life.
Our goal is to dig deep andprovide not only knowledge, but
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you want to be.
Come join us and find the way toyour dream life.
(01:11):
Welcome back to The WayfinderShow.
I'm your host, Louis Hernandez.
And today we're joined by AmberCliphouse.
Amber is the author of CleanStart, a teen mom's journey from
suicide survivor to real estateinvestor.
Amber is a bonafide badass, andher story is one of resilience
and transformation, rising fromlife's toughest challenges to
(01:32):
building success in real estate.
She's here to share her journeyand powerful lessons she's
learned along the way.
Amber, welcome to The WayfinderShow.
for having me.
Yeah, thank you.
I've been wanting to make thishappen for a while because like
I was mentioning before we gotstarted, uh, you're well,
there's two reasons why one isbecause we have a mutual friend
(01:52):
who connected us, right?
Mark Owens is one of our firstguests.
And, uh, you know, talk aboutsomebody who's been through some
stuff and still come back and,and just, uh, really achieved
great things in life.
He's one of them and, and youhave too.
So I, I love that.
And it also is like the originalpurpose of our show was to
inspire people who are kind ofgoing through it and let them
(02:13):
know, Hey, you can go throughstuff and still get out and, and
really succeed in life.
Right?
Sure.
Of course.
Yeah.
So let's start with yourjourney.
Let's start from the beginning.
Let's go back to when you were16 years old or before you were
16 years old at that point youdecided to To leave your home,
(02:33):
right?
Did you just run away?
Yeah, just run away.
It wasn't I wasn't rebelling Um,I I don't like to bash my mom.
She wasn't really equipped to bea mom She always chose whatever
men in her life first So it wasa very toxic, um, relationship.
I struggle with depression veryearly on.
I'm very open about that in mybook.
A lot of people kind of hush it.
(02:54):
It's a little more known now,but, um, I was struggling to,
um, stay alive and I knew tosurvive, I needed to run away
and go back with my grandma.
Um, so that's what I did.
I ran away when I was 16.
Okay.
And you were in Baltimore?
Um, yes.
Well, I was living in Baltimorewith my mom.
Second husband, her thirdhusband.
(03:16):
We moved to Glen Burnie.
Um, it's a little complex.
It makes sense in the book, butshe took me away from like my
grandmother, my sister, everyoneI ever knew.
We moved to Anne Arundel Countyand I didn't know anyone there.
Um, there were some pretty darktimes there.
Um, once we moved to a newCounty, new place, and I was
very depressed.
I went to Shepherd Pratt.
I, um, tried to commit suicide.
(03:37):
It was just a very dark time forme.
Wow.
Okay.
So you mentioned your mother.
You didn't mention your father.
So were you raised by a singlemom as well?
Um, my father left before Icould even remember.
I probably seen him three, four,maybe five times.
Um, so she was never single.
Like I said, she always had likea husband or abusive spouse of
(04:00):
some sort.
So we were kind of bouncedaround and every, um, man that
was in her life, she would haveme call dad, which was super
unfortunate and confusing for,you know, a young girl without
her real father.
Um, but yeah, it was just herand whatever husband at the
time.
Yeah.
And what about your grandmother?
Um, my grandmother was one toughbadass.
(04:21):
I mean, she.
She was, you know, the type thatsays how it is.
There's no sugarcoating it.
My sister actually ran away whenshe was eight, and she was
living with my grandmom.
Yeah, she's three years old.
So you were a late bloomer.
Yeah.
Well, I had a younger brother,and I didn't want to leave him.
I felt like my maternalinstincts kicked in very, very
early.
Um, my brother's three yearsyounger than me, so I was the
(04:42):
middle child.
My sister left.
His father was very abusive, andI just stayed to kind of like
protect him.
Um, it wasn't until my mom'sthird husband, he was not
abusive at all.
Um, but there was some otherstuff going on.
But when I knew my brother wasold enough to fend for himself,
and it was like my life in handsbecause I was becoming suicidal,
I knew I had to get out if Iwanted to like live another day,
(05:04):
unfortunately.
But he was strong enough.
He actually joined the army heleft to when he was 18.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
So, so then you.
I mean, you know, the firstthing that comes to mind that's
interesting is, uh, well, Iguess on your grandmother's
side, did you have agrandfather, too, that was
involved?
Yeah.
Yeah, I did.
He died, um, I don't rememberwhat year, but I guess the last
(05:27):
decade my grandma was alive, hewas not.
But he was in the picture veryearly on, like I remember going
and visiting him when we wereyounger, when I was still living
at home, but when I ran away, hewasn't alive anymore.
It was just my grandma.
Okay.
Yeah, I only, I, later on we'regoing to talk about your, your
husband and, uh, but I, I'mcurious, you, you kind of broke
a cycle there, you know?
(05:48):
Yeah.
Which is interesting, right?
What was that like?
It was really hard, right?
Because I, again, I didn't wantto leave my little brother.
I did not, I was very committedto taking care of him and
holding him when the fightshappened, when the abuse
happened.
Um, but again, it was just And Ijust, I knew I did not want to
repeat that life and continue tolive that way.
(06:09):
And I, you know, my life wasprecious and it was really, it
was like life or deathsituation.
I know it sounds extreme, but Iwas, I tried to commit suicide
on more than one occasion.
Sure.
And, um, I just, I had tosurvive and, you know, find my
own clean start.
Yeah.
Well, I guess what I meant withthat was you now have, uh,
(06:33):
you've been married for a numberof years now, right?
We've only been married since2022.
We've been together for 17 yearsnow.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, you know, so you've been acouple for a long time and, uh,
and it sounds like you've, youknow, we'll get more into that,
but I mean, you, you kind ofbroke the cycle.
You mentioned your mother, youknow, uh, was with different men
(06:54):
or her.
Time and everything and you yougot you have one really good
solid relationship now I'm sureyou have your ups and downs like
all of us do but you know forthe most part you get How and
when we don't have that example,it's it can be hard, right?
Like we don't know what asuccessful Relationship looks
like sure, right?
(07:14):
How?
And what love was and you knowcreate it on our own.
So yeah, it's definitelysomething if you're not taught
It's hard to figure it out, youknow on your own.
Yeah Yeah, what, what, what doyou, how, how, what, what were
the influences that, Um, soagain, I don't know if you want
to jump to the second part, butafter I ran away, I went with my
(07:35):
grandma and I kind of wentthrough the rebelling teenage
stage and I got pregnant and,um, my, I was 17 when I got
pregnant and my son's fatheractually committed suicide.
Oh.
And, um, when I was 18, my sonwas six months old and I found
him hanging in a tree.
So that was another, um, youknow, start over clean start, so
(07:59):
to speak.
It wasn't so clean at the time,but I had to, again, I felt like
when I left my brother again,you know, two years prior, I had
to do that again.
My son, Stevie, he's 19 now, butwe've come a long way.
So I had to pick up the piecesagain.
And, you know, without beingable to pick up the phone and
call my mom, I had to just findthe strength within myself and
(08:20):
have a clean start to raise thisbaby I was now responsible for.
Yeah.
Okay, so you think, like, sothat was really ultimately the
maternal instinct, like, as youput it, kicking in.
That led to all that, right?
You were just trying to be agood mother, whether it was for
your brother or your son, itseemed like.
Yeah.
Interesting.
So, so you, just doing the mathas you're going, um, it sounds
(08:46):
like your current husband, um,came into the picture when your
son was about two years old.
Yep, yep, he's done it since hewas two.
So he's really a dad for him.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's 100 percent his father.
Yeah, he's, he had a two yearold daughter, uh, strange
enough.
My son has blonde hair, blueeyes, I'm not sure if your
listeners will be able to see,but I have dark hair, dark skin.
(09:07):
Yeah.
And his daughter, um, at two,she has blonde hair, blue eyes.
So everyone thought growing upthey were twins.
And if we never see them again,we're like, yeah, they're twins.
It's just too complicated.
They're six months apart, butit's crazy the way fate happens
to work out.
And, um, it's crazy.
Yeah.
And do they love each other likebrother, sister?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they do.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
(09:28):
So how did, how did he come intothe mix?
Justin, it's embarrassing, but Imet him on MySpace.
Okay.
Oh man, MySpace.
I know.
I know.
So for people who don't know,that was like a predecessor of
Facebook, right?
Right.
Way before Facebook.
Yeah.
Um, he messaged me.
Um, I wasn't a type to like datea lot because of my mom's
(09:50):
history.
And I was trying to be like, youknow, strong single mom vibes.
But I thought I knew his sisterin photos, like when I looked at
his photos.
Um, we ended up talking on thephone and I didn't know his
sister, but still we had a greatconnection.
We talked for a long time and wemet at a club and I haven't left
him since.
(10:10):
Okay.
Wow.
Cool.
So, uh, so you guys blended yourfamilies.
Um, yeah.
Good.
So, so let's talk about.
Cool.
Um, another side of, of yourjourney, clean start or not the
book, but I guess the cleaningbusiness, you got into a
cleaning business, right?
How did, what was that all like?
(10:31):
So when I, cause my husband, Idon't, I came with extra, extra
baggage, you know, single mom,just my son and I, um, he was co
parenting his daughter with themom.
Um, but it was just me andStevie and I worked for a
cleaning company, uh, aroundNovember, like the year we met,
the guy just shut down thecompany.
Like, he changed his number.
(10:52):
He, um, cleared out the wholeoffice.
And at the time I was a headcleaner because I worked there
for a while and I was prettywell known.
A lot of people requested me andI was devastated.
Right.
It was right before Christmas.
I'm like.
I just felt like I kept gettingknocked down, like knocked down
after knockdown.
Sure.
I didn't make the best choices.
Right.
But I was trying to be the bestmom and just survive in this
life.
(11:13):
And, um, he, Justin was like, myhusband now was like, why don't
you just start your own cleaningcompany?
I'm like, I can't do that.
It's like, you don't know how toclean.
I'm like, I mean, I do, butlike, what am I going to do?
It's like get bonded and shortand just.
clients.
And I did, I knock on the doorsand called and I was able to run
the cleaning company for 15years.
(11:35):
single handedly.
I never hired anybody.
I didn't trust them enough.
Um, working with the previouscleaning company, people steal.
And my clients were like familycause they took me on at my
darkest time.
They were familiar with mystory, Stevie's dad.
Um, so they were family to me.
So I just took care of thatmyself.
Oh wow.
Okay.
(11:55):
Interesting.
So, So it never, do you think,um, that, you know, oftentimes
that keeps, like, how'd you getout?
Let's put it that way.
You, you, it was your ownbusiness, but you were doing
everything.
So, you know, you were theindividual contributor as well
as the business owner.
Well, like I said, they werelike family.
(12:15):
So they understood, like theyknew Justin started getting a
real estate.
He was working, um, you know, aW2 job at Domino's sugar around
COVID.
He got his real estate license,um, started looking into like
podcasts, listening to become aninvestor.
Um, so it was already like onthe works, like we were making
this shift, but he was kind ofstepping into it.
He supported me to start my owncompany.
(12:38):
So when he's like, I'm going toleave my job.
Which was, you know, goodincome, unlimited overtime
benefits.
I had to support him becausehe's, you know, supported me all
those years ago.
Um, But once he found the flowof real estate and started
investing in rentals, um, I sawthat it would be beneficial if I
kind of teamed up with him, withthe lead calling.
(13:00):
And for those who don't know LeeCollins, when you call to buy
the house that people are tryingto sell, and I kind of use my
maternal role because it's avery intimate phone call.
A lot of people are just, youknow, really.
Trying to be aggressive to buytheir house, but people are
selling their house because theyhave a problem, right?
Like they're going through adivorce or they inherited or
someone died.
It's a very Unfortunate side ofthings but it needs to be done.
(13:24):
So I kind of let my clients knowlike hey I'm not gonna be
working this many hours or thismany days a week because i'm
doing this Um, they kneweventually the transition would
happen and I prepared them andthey supported me all the way up
until the end, until I had, Iwas doing maybe two houses a
week, then one house, and thenthey just.
Kind of let me go.
(13:45):
Oh wow.
Okay.
So, so now you, you and him, areyou and your husband are
basically partners in businessas well now and just doing the
real estate investment thing?
Yeah.
Yeah.
How does that breakdown happen?
Um, so now I'm more so theproperty manager.
I don't do lead calling anymore.
I just kind of deal with, youknow, um, tenant issues or.
(14:07):
Rents and that kind of thing.
You know, all the fun stuff thatcomes with property management.
Um, but honestly the deal was Iwas gonna stop cleaning and do
the lead calling, but that's thetime I wrote my book.
That's the time I was able tofind myself to really heal and
get to know myself and um, ittranspired to something
completely different, which I'mgrateful for because I wouldn't
(14:28):
be as strong and confident as Iam today.
Yeah.
So in, in the process of writingthe book, did you do this?
With the intention of, of, youknow, having a New York times
bestseller or was it a healingjourney or just to inspire
folks?
Like what, what was the intentthere?
Um, honestly, it was just ahealing journey.
(14:49):
When we were a part of amastermind group, we would
visit.
Different states quarterly.
So on the airplane, I wouldwrite about just what I thought
of seeing my first hockey gameor just taking in all these
different worlds ofentrepreneurism and writing
about it.
And then I started writing aboutmyself and really got to know
myself for the first time byjournaling.
(15:09):
And I unlocked so much stuffthat I didn't even know was
there.
The front cover of my book is alittle girl with a long, dark
hallway.
And, um, I go through everysingle door, every trauma, every
hurt and pain and kind of go in.
And heal and forgive, forgetwhatever I need to do and close
the door and keep on moving.
Yeah, wow, that's uh, that'sreally powerful.
(15:31):
So, you know, they say, um,Oftentimes when you have like
trauma when you're young youkind of stunt your growth,
right?
Like you kind of stop there andyou don't progress from it Did
you find that writing thejournal in the way you did the
book in the way you did?
Kind of help like revisit thatso you can regrow.
Did you was that was that partof it?
(15:53):
Yeah, definitely.
Cause when you're, you know, amom and you're just trying to
survive, it's just like, go, go,go.
And I, I didn't even process alot of the things that I went
through.
So I think, you know, afterwriting the book, you know, I
think you were the first one toreach out to me.
The book's been out since lastApril and I was like, yeah, I
want to do it.
But I was just still dealingwith the process of writing the
book and finally reading my ownstory for myself.
(16:16):
I had a moment of like almostbreakdown again.
I read the book and it was done.
It was great.
But I'm like, I can't do this.
I can't put this out for theworld.
It's too private.
It's too intimate.
But I knew if I didn't, it wouldbe a disservice because if I can
save one person's life andmotivate them to keep going,
that's the whole point.
It's not to be a bestseller.
It's just to help just oneperson.
(16:37):
Yeah, so what's one in there?
What is one of those doors youuncovered that really?
That really broke you down whenyou were rereading it or or even
along the way that it just madeyou stop and Um, probably
definitely the suicide for myson's father.
Um, revisiting that chapter.
(16:57):
I remember like everything I, Iwas at the club when it
happened.
Like I'm very open with myreaders.
I'm not, you know, I'm, I'm, I'mhuman.
I'm not a robot.
I'm not perfect by any means.
Um, Steve, Stevie's father wassupposed to be clean at the time
he had him.
Um, I guess he had relapsed oncethe bar was mom.
Thank God Steve's sister had gothim.
(17:18):
But I remember that very clear.
And writing it and rereading it.
And, um, when I got the phonecall, he said he was going to
kill himself.
And I remember feeling my soncrying and like, I just went
back to that moment.
And I was, you know, 18 yearsago, so long ago.
And, um, I just remember it soclearly.
(17:39):
And when I found Steve hangingin the tree, my best friend was
with me and she called her mom.
And I just remember her sayinglike, mom, Steve hung himself.
He hung himself.
And in that moment, I didn'thave a mom to call, you know?
So that was like.
Damn, I haven't had a mom likemy whole life, but I'm still
thriving.
I'm still surviving.
So that was probably one of thehardest chapters to revisit for
sure.
(17:59):
I bet.
Um, yeah, no, it's, it's deepstuff.
It's real stuff, you know, for,I gotta say, I'm, I'm struggling
now right now as we're goingthrough, because you actually,
um, our listeners don't know,but my, you know, I, I, I have,
(18:20):
uh, I, I've been, you know, Ididn't have the same
circumstances, but like.
Both of my sisters, they'reyounger than me.
They were both teen moms.
They both went, they both hadkids with different fathers and,
and such.
And now I have a niece that isgoing through that as well.
Um, so I understand some of the,I mean, I don't understand.
I, I haven't, you know what Imean?
But I, I struggle with it allthe time.
(18:41):
So it's like, as you're saying,some of these things is touching
base, some of the, yourcircumstances were theirs and I
don't know.
So what, what do you say tosomebody like me who doesn't,
you know, we, we haven't gonedown that.
Same road of struggle.
We might have been in thoseenvironments, but we we didn't
go into that.
You know, we weren't suicidal Wedo have loved ones who were you
(19:02):
know, we we weren't the ones whowere pregnant or had kids as
teenagers or you know Thingslike that, but we want to help
sure, you know So, I mean, Iguess it just be open minded a
lot of times this world withsocial media.
We're so Blinded by filters andjust judging right away.
Like I'm sure a lot of thethings like you knew about my
(19:24):
story, you knew it would begreat, but like, you didn't know
if you turn that stone, that wasgoing to be there, you know?
Well, it's kind of like don'tjudge a book by it's not that
you're judging me by any meansbut just as To your audience in
general like really just try tobe patient and understanding and
just support one another I feellike this world has become such
a dark Judgy place and that'sanother reason why I wrote my
(19:45):
book because there's more behindother people's story Like a lot
of people know me from myhusband because he's in the real
estate world But they had noidea I had this whole story and
whole other side That's, youknow, forget the houses and
stuff for all people withemotions at the end of the day.
And I feel like everyone has astory, you know?
Yeah.
How did building a business helpyou with your personal, um, you
(20:12):
know, evolution and journey?
For the cleaning business or thereal estate side?
Either one.
I mean, I imagine that there'sthings that you go through with
building a business that helpedyou become who you are now,
right?
Like get out of Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I'm just building abusiness with a cleaning
company.
I was, I was 20, I guess when itwas up and running like full
(20:34):
force.
And it's so incredible to lookback at Amber, 16 runaway to 17
and pregnant to finding, youknow, my son's father, 18 and 20
to have my own business, right?
Like it's so liberating to lookback at those hurdles.
If you just keep going and keepgoing and push through.
Um, but building the businesshas taught me a lot about
myself.
(20:55):
Well, And it's just taught methat, you know, if I can do it,
anyone can do it.
I want to say like it's, if youhave a determination to do
anything in life, you just gotto go for it.
And it's really motivated me inother areas of my life to kind
of just keep going.
Yeah.
I wonder, sometimes I think, um,we still define ourselves by who
(21:19):
we were.
Mm hmm.
And I'm curious as to who youare.
Yeah.
Now.
Who are you?
How would, how do you, you know,what is your elevator pitch now,
as if I were to meet you at amixer somewhere?
Yeah, I mean, I would say thatI'm a author.
I would say I'm a, you know,business over business owner.
(21:40):
I am a wonderful mother anddedicated wife and friend.
I live life to its fullest.
I rarely turn down theopportunity to like just live
and adventure.
I'm very outgoing.
I finally found myself, youknow, and I'll tell people that
like I, it took a long time, butwriting this book, I learned who
Amber was.
(22:00):
It was a healing journey, like Isaid many times, but it, that's
the best way to put it, like, Ifeel like we should all get to
know ourselves and put thefilters aside and social media,
put the phones down.
I know it's hard to do, but likereally get to know yourself and
who you truly are.
That's great.
Are there any other likestrategies you learned along the
way?
You've obviously mentionedjournaling.
(22:22):
Yeah.
Um, you know, any, any other,yeah, just strategies you use,
you've learned to really helpyou.
You know, keep kicking buttYeah, definitely having a
routine in place.
Um, growing up we didn't haveroutine, so routine became
crucial for me.
Um, not only journaling, but I,I, um, go to the gym every
(22:44):
morning and I journal and, youknow, drink my coffee and I put
myself first.
Right.
And I am not afraid to admitthat.
Years ago, I wouldn't be becauseI'm a mom, right?
I should take care of my kidsand my husband.
But like, if I don't fill up mycup first, I can't give to
anybody else.
So now I'm very mindful that Icome first and that way I can
(23:05):
give my best self to, you know,my husband and my kids and just
the world itself, but definitelyhaving routines in place, like
journaling, going to the gym,and then what rest of the day
kind of follows.
Where are you going next?
As far as life, trips, what doyou mean?
Yeah, yeah, life, like what'snext?
(23:25):
When, when looking into thefuture, where, where to, who is
Amber going to be 10 years fromnow?
So right now, like my goal, um,for this year and then moving
forward is just maintaining allthe routines I put in place.
Like I said, I, um, stoppeddrinking alcohol.
I'm coming 500th day.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
(23:45):
And it's really, again, it'sjust another part of my clean
start story.
I really know who I am withouthaving the substance to cover
up, you know, my past or mystress and all that.
Um, so I'm really truly gettingto know myself.
We are doing our first missionstrip in Guatemala coming up in
February.
So I'm super excited about that.
(24:07):
Um, and I'm homeschooling myyoungest son.
He's eight.
He's in second grade.
So I'm really just maintainingthe systems I put in place for
myself because depression isstill within me.
Right.
So I need to take care of myselfso I can stay out of that dark
place.
I haven't been there in a verylong time, but as you know,
seasons and things flare up.
So I'm just focusing onmaintaining all the good I
(24:29):
brought in my life.
And I'm not really trying tolevel up right now.
I'm just maintaining.
Okay, cool.
Any, any like long term goals?
I want to do coaching school.
Um, I kind of went at the end oflast year.
My goal was to bring my storyand inspire other people who've,
(24:49):
you know, are just feeling stuckand feel like they can't do it.
They don't know where to getstarted.
But right now I put a pause onthat to focus on homeschooling
my son.
Um, because my other son, Stevenis now graduated from high
school and Lexi's graduated fromhigh school.
They're starting their careers.
So my eight year old is stillvery much needing me and he is
my last baby.
So I'm trying to like, you know,I'm really enjoying this time,
(25:13):
but down the road I definitelywant to do coaching.
Okay.
Like life coaching.
Yeah, for sure.
Awesome.
Okay, cool.
What about, um, Um, geez, I kindof, I'm kind of at a blank right
now.
I mean, do you, do you have anydemons that you feel like you
(25:33):
still have to work on?
I do.
I mean, I struggle with my mom,right?
I mean, it's my mom and being amom.
I don't understand.
Um, my children are myeverything, all of them, all
three of them.
I love them to death.
I don't understand how you canbring something into this world
and.
not worry about them, wonder howthey're doing and just reach
(25:56):
out.
I mean, I would spend every lastday on earth reaching out to my
child if they cut me out, justwriting letters and just try.
So I always like a demon is likemy mom and dad, you know, cause
I didn't have it.
And it's so important to Justinand I to be the best parents
like we can be.
So that's, I think it'ssomething I'm always going to
struggle with.
Um, but I'm getting better atit.
(26:19):
Okay, is your mom still alive?
Yeah, she is.
Okay, and you have arelationship with her?
No, we do not.
None at all.
Interesting.
No, we, she never really, sowhen I had Stevie, we were like
on and off again, of course,when I got pregnant.
Um, when Steve died, she camearound and then she was gone
(26:39):
again.
And then as Stevie was growingup, she, she was like in and
out, the picture neverconsistent.
She, um, would tell Stevie shewould be at his basketball game,
just not show up.
And when he was old enough to,like, get let down by her, I
kind of cut her out because Ididn't want him growing up with
the same thing I grew up with.
Um, he understands now.
(27:00):
He can reach out to her if hewanted to, but he has no desire
to.
They did in the past, but she'snever been consistent.
And I guess it's just easierwithout than being left alone.
I wonder if she's read the book.
I'm sure she has.
I, I mean, I would hope so.
I forgive her in the book,right?
I don't bash her.
I just say, I feel like,personally, as a mom, some
(27:23):
people have that mother instinctand some people don't.
Some people just can't.
Um, put their selfish ways asideand I kind of sound like a
hypocrite because now I'm like,I'm selfish.
I come first.
Jim journal.
But like, it's in a differentway.
Like my children are taken careof.
They know they're my world.
They know I love them.
But again, if I'm not my bestself, I can't give them my best
(27:44):
self.
So it's, it's different the waymy mom is.
She's, she is who she is and Iforgive her for it.
Okay.
Uh, what do you think herreaction to the book would be?
Hmm, I think um, I hope it givesher some type of closure because
this is my story, right?
Again, it's not to bash her.
I hope she understands Um, youknow, the doors I had to go
(28:08):
down, the shadows I crossed overto get to this point.
I hope she's proud of me, um,you know, where I'm happy.
My husband loves me and supportsme and at the end of the day for
my kids, all I would want forthem is to be happy and I am
truly happy regardless of ourrelationship and how it
unfolded.
Like, I just hope she's proud ofme and happy.
(28:28):
Yeah.
I can't imagine she's not.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So.
Amber, thank you for sharing allthat.
I mean, is there anything elsewith this that you want to leave
our listeners with?
Um, I mean, the only thing is, Ijust want everyone to know, you
can have a clean start no matterwhat.
It doesn't have to be, you know,a suicide survivor to that
extreme.
It could be, Starting a new job.
(28:50):
It could be starting college.
It could be, you know, leaving aabusive household.
It could be just becoming a momfor the first time or a dad.
Like anyone can have a cleanstart.
Don't give up on yourself.
You know, continue to pushthrough.
You really can be surprised whatyou're capable of when you're
like pushed to your limits.
I love that.
Well, on that note, let's getinto our, uh, world famous
(29:14):
Wayfounder4.
So give us a hack.
I mean, you've mentioned a fewalready.
Uh, this is just a life hack.
You kind of do every day.
I know you've mentionedgenerally and going to the gym,
anything else?
Maybe.
Um, a life hack would definitelybe, like I said, routine.
And even if it's, as far as likemy kids and stuff go, but
(29:36):
picking out your clothes in lifebefore packing your lunch, like
just having that routine.
So that way your morning's notso stressful and you feel a
little more prepared.
So definitely like prepping andhaving some type of routine in
place.
Okay.
How about a favorite?
Just, uh, this is something youjust like to do or a show you
like or book or anything.
(29:58):
Um, my favorite is Florida.
I love beaches.
I love being in the sun.
I love just the Floridasunshine.
Are you moving there anytimesoon?
Like, every other person?
We have a condo down there.
We have a condo.
You know, I try to go once amonth if I can convince my
husband.
Cool.
Where, whereabouts?
(30:18):
In Tampa.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, so we're like 30 minutesfrom Clearwater Beach.
So it's beautiful there.
Yeah, yeah, my wife and I, mywife's family lives in Sarasota,
but we want to have a home, uh,eventually, we're out in Denver
now, um, but we eventually wantto be snowbirds and have a home
in, uh, St.
Petersburg.
(30:39):
Yes, I love St.
Petersburg.
I love St.
Petersburg.
We love St.
Petersburg as well.
Anywhere.
I'll take Sarasota, St.
Pete, Anna Marie, all thosebeautiful places.
Yeah, they are.
That's all of them.
That's right.
That's right.
All right.
How about a piece of advice?
Normally, we'd say a piece ofadvice for your younger self,
but I'm going to askspecifically for your 16 year
(30:59):
old self.
Oof.
I would tell her.
You're going to be a badass oneday.
You're going to be reallysurprised how it turned out.
Yeah.
Could you have believed it?
No, absolutely not.
I still don't believe it somedays.
I still got to talk myself up.
I'm very proud of myself.
I'm very proud of the hurdles Iovercame.
(31:20):
I'm very proud of 16 year oldyou.
That's awesome.
You know, let me ask you, what,what specifically is it now when
you think about where you areand knowing you're a badass,
what is it specifically thatmakes you feel like a badass?
Is it.
Like, is there something aboutwhat you have in your life now
that you just point to and say,Hey, I'm a badass.
(31:42):
Um, I love myself.
I, I think I'm a badass becauseI went from, I know this is
dark, but I wanted to killmyself and not be here a long,
long time ago to where I justlove life.
I love myself.
I love the world I created.
I love that.
That's, that's a great answer.
Um, all right.
(32:02):
How about last one?
You get to choose between a bigopportunity or a limiting
belief, either like one that yousee out there or have had, or,
or, you know, what do you meanby limiting belief?
Like, uh, just something that,you know, you, that you, uh,
(32:26):
like a, a limit.
That you place upon yourself,you know, that keeps you from,
you know, doing something thatyou think you can't do.
I can tell you, you mentionedearlier that What's that?
A big opportunity for sure.
I love opportunities to doanything.
So what is, so tell us one thatyou see.
I really want to jump out of aplane.
(32:47):
My husband promised if I gotscuba certified, which we did,
that he would jump out of aplane with me.
And I'm going to hold him tothat.
So you see a big opportunity injumping out of planes?
Yes, because life is, you know,it's meant to be lived.
Okay.
Yeah.
Cool.
Are you guys going to do, areyou going to do it like tent by
(33:09):
that?
Do you mean like tandem, like goto a local school and just jump
on somebody's back and jump out?
But I think if you get like Xamount of jumps, you can jump
out by yourself if we reallylike the thrill of it.
Yeah.
Is that the goal?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's actually something I'vebeen wanting to do.
And it's not even hard.
You can just kind of go anyweekend and just pay the fee and
(33:32):
Mark wants to do it too.
So we can all go jump out on aplane.
Yeah.
all jump out a plane together.
What a great opportunity thatis.
All right.
That'd be so fun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The um, yeah, if you ever comeout to Colorado, there's a place
not too far from where I livedat.
A lot of people go to, I loveany excuse to travel, so we'll
have to plan a trip to Colorado.
Yeah, this is a great place.
(33:53):
Ask Mark.
So, yeah, I'm sure he'll comealong.
Yeah, he will.
Um, he better Yeah.
So what, uh, what if, if peoplewanna get your book, you know,
uh, if they wanna know moreabout you, if they wanna reach
out to you, if they just need tosomebody like yourself to talk
to, how can they do So?
Um, my book is available onAmazon.
It's just Clean Start by AmberClip House.
(34:15):
I also was so passionate aboutjournals.
I made my own journal.
Oh, cool.
So that's, yeah, that's also onthere.
It's, um, it's.
It's just Clean Start Journal,also by Amber Cliphouse, so they
both come up when you searchthat.
Um, I'm on Facebook, uh, AmberCliphouse, or Instagram is at
acliphouse22.
(34:36):
Um, you know, feel free, ifyou're struggling with
something, if you just need someinspiration, if you have any
questions about, like, how I gotover the hurdle or just need the
vent, you know, feel free todirect message me on Instagram
or Facebook.
I love helping people.
It's like my love language.
I'm a Pisces.
I'm super empathetic and justlove giving back anyway.
Um, but yeah, you can find methere.
(34:57):
Excellent.
Tell me more about the journal.
You, is it, is it like a guidedjournal?
You have some questions in thereand stuff for people to answer
every day?
Um, actually the first, uh, justto make it fun, the journal, it
has like a bucket list and oneof mine is skydiving on there
and do a missions trip.
So I, um, I wanted to make itfun.
(35:18):
Right.
So first the bucket list andthen it's the three goals for
yourself, kind of like a 90 daygoal journal, and then I have
just the morning and eveningreflections, like what's
something that I'm grateful for,but something good that happened
today.
So it's just random prompts.
Um, I love journaling so much.
I just incorporated a bunch ofdifferent favorites from each
(35:38):
one and compiled it into my own.
Yeah, I love that.
I've thought about doing thismyself sometimes.
I mean, I've had a couple folkson the show who have done
journals.
I, I just think it's, it'sgreat.
And over time you develop yourown routine, right?
Like I, yeah, I started with arunning journal and then I tried
different ones.
And then that led to other kindsof journals.
And then like I, yeah, I've hadit.
(36:00):
Ideas for my own but then itwould I feel like it would only
be my own really becauseeverybody kind of develops their
own Journal of the team.
That's that's the magic, right?
Yeah Mine's a little differentbecause it's like I said, you
had the bucket list to make itfun You have the 90 day goal for
the people who really want toset goals Just the morning
evening and then in the back islike blank pages If you just
want to free write and I alsohave like a list of 20 prompts
(36:28):
I'm very grateful for life.
I live.
I'm very grateful to still behere to this day to live, you
know, another day.
So gratitude is big for me.
And that's a part of my journalas well.
Excellent.
Well, thank you, Amber.
Um, We started off by, uh,mentioned that you're a bonafide
badass and, and I think now ourlisteners can see why.
(36:50):
Uh, keep doing what you'redoing.
Keep kicking ass, keep inspiringpeople.
Um, it's been a real pleasure tohave you here and I look forward
to, you know, seeing more ofyour journey along the way.
I think you can do some reallybig things over the next, uh,
the rest of your life really.
So I can't wait to see what theyare.
Thanks so much for having me.
I look forward to skydiving withyou.
Yeah, that's right.
(37:11):
Take care.
Bye.
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