March 12, 2024 • 49 mins
Have you ever felt like financial freedom is just a distant dream while you're buried in debt? Join me, Mikita, as I team up with life coach Camille, on a revealing journey from financial distress to abundance.
This episode of Thym 4 Tea is a heart-to-heart on how you can break free from the shackles of debt, and why it's time for us to have frank discussions about money, mindset, and the emotional weight that comes with our bank balances.
Camille, who once wrestled with her financial woes, now guides professional women towards security. We unravel the historical complexities of women's relationship with money and highlight the significance of perspective shifts that can lead to a life of both contentment and financial confidence.
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Beautifully-Unbalanced
This isn't just about numbers; it's about emotional well-being and mustering the courage to confront financial struggles without shame.
Together, we tackle the taboo of money talk, the perils of comparison, and the transformative power of self-care in the quest for personal fulfillment.
Whether it's understanding how to prioritize savings over splurges or the wisdom of buying with cash, this conversation is a treasure trove of insights.
So, pour yourself some tea, and let's embark on a path to financial wellness where the goal isn't just to survive, but thrive. With faith, self-compassion, and a sprinkle of strategic spending, we're redefining success one sip at a time.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Camille (00:00):
I think one of the things to be successful with
money first, in addition tohaving a mindset of abundance
and not doing everything fromscarcity, is something that has
nothing to do with money at all,which is contentment.
So if you have shelter, if youhave transportation and means to
(00:22):
get around, if you know whereyour next meals are coming from
and you're supported in that way, to learn to be content with
what you have, to be fullycontent.
And what does that mean?
What does that feel like?
To not think I need to acquirethat thing, to be more, which
(00:43):
nothing outside of you makes youmore than you are.
Mikita (00:46):
Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
(01:07):
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
inspiration.
If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
here.
Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
to have conversations.
So grab a cup of tea or coffeeand get comfy, because this is
Thym 4 Tea with Makita, and thetea is definitely hot.
(01:29):
Ever feel like you need a superpower boost of motivation with
exclusive tips and tools withyour goals in mind?
Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
Tea newsletter, your weeklyinfusion of big thinking energy
that will propel you to chaseyour wildest dreams and never
shy away from using the power ofyour voice.
(01:50):
Sign up for the Tuesday Teanewsletter today at
beautifullyunbalancedcom andelevate your goals to the next
level.
Welcome back.
It is Time for Tea and I'mMakita.
I just want to thank you somuch for sharing your time, your
space and your amazing energywith me today.
The other day I came upon aquote by Tony Robbins.
(02:12):
It said the moment you shiftfrom a scarcity mindset to an
abundance mindset, you journeyto a financial freedom.
So this was like so on pointfor our conversation today and I
really wanted to share thatwith you guys.
I have an amazing guest.
(02:34):
She is a life coach who hasmastered the art of shedding the
burdens of scarcity and shamearound money.
Camille's journey fromfinancial struggle to one of
security and abundance, alongwith her dedication to helping
other professional womeneverywhere break free from
six-figure debts, is a powerfultestament to transforming one's
(02:58):
financial mindset and life.
So, camille, welcome and thankyou for sharing your time and
your energy with us today.
Camille (03:05):
Thank you so much, Mikita, for sharing this space
with me and having me here.
I'm really excited and happy tobe here with you.
Mikita (03:12):
Thank you, I'm excited too.
This is such a greatconversation.
I think sometimes we talk abouta lot of stuff as women, but
rarely do we talk about moneyand financial freedom and what
that would look like for us.
Camille (03:31):
That is so true, and sometimes I think about this in
a historical context, about how,if we think back to ancient
times in civilization, womenwere socialized literally to be
property.
(03:51):
You were owned by your dad andthen, when you got married, if
you did get a husband, then yourdad would give you a way to
your husband.
You take your husband's name,and we were not socialized to
have wealth, to talk aboutwealth, to be about wealth.
(04:14):
We contributed to the families,always in really meaningful,
important ways, and tocivilization and society.
But the money talk is just nota thing.
If we're talking here and nailsand family stuff, yeah, but not
a lot of us have the easearound the money stuff and
(04:34):
there's no good reason for usnot to.
Mikita (04:38):
I definitely agree.
Now, before we get into all thetea on you sharing the backdrop
of your story for those who maynot be familiar with you and
what you do, could you give thema little background into what
you do today?
Camille (04:55):
So what I do today is I'm a certified life coach and I
help my clients who havesix-figure debt or multiple
six-figure debt in all honesty,I'll help anybody with that to
develop a financial plan to getrid of that debt much more
quickly than they thought theycould, so that whatever goals
(05:16):
they have in life they can reachand achieve more easily.
Maybe it is that down paymentfor a house, maybe it is
upgrading that car, maybe it issending kids to college, but
sometimes the debt does notfacilitate all of that, and so
getting rid of the debtsometimes seems insurmountable,
(05:38):
and I help with that throughmoney advice and money teaching,
and then to deal with the dramathat comes up for us through
life coaching.
Mikita (05:48):
Yes, well, thank you for doing that one.
But, like you said, it'samazing because I realized that
I was watching this movie.
I don't know the name of it,but it was very interesting to
realize that it was not thatlong ago.
We think about women's right toown land and own property and
(06:11):
vote and do all these things.
It was not as long ago assometimes it's spoken about, but
we were not allowed to ownanything and you were the
property of your family to beused and bothered in different
ways.
So the idea of speaking aboutfinancial struggle is one of
(06:35):
those things how you nevertalked about what goes on in the
household but you never sharedfinancial struggles or say, hey,
I'm having a hard time, I don'thave the money.
I am struggling here to justmake ends meet or put food on
the table, let alone pay billsand get out of debt.
Camille (06:57):
So you know this and so I think what you just hit on is
so multi-layered.
First, yes, there's a pieceabout how we were socialized and
conditioned and some of us justare not comfortable talking,
don't want to talk about money,right.
And then there's this otherpiece where, if we're not where
(07:19):
we think we should befinancially, we also don't want
to share, right, we don't wantto open up and talk about that.
And that reminds me ofsomething that happened to me
recently.
So in my other life I'm aphysician, a physician leader in
internal medicine and hospitalmedicine, and I trained at a
medical school and the browngirls in my class we would get
(07:40):
together while we were goingthrough training over 20 years
ago and we would have potlucks.
And we got together recentlyand one of my classmates she was
saying you know, back thenshe's a very successful
physician now at a teachinginstitution and you know she's
(08:02):
got it together, no issues.
But she shared, you know, backthen she was really struggling
financially.
I'm from Jamaica, she was fromJamaica, she was an
international student, herfamily was not here in the
States and she said you know,sometimes we got together for
those potlucks and that's when Iwould eat for the day and you
(08:24):
all were so rich and I wasthinking about the fact that
none of us knew this.
She was sharing this with usnow, but at the time I was
struggling.
I was in medical school.
I had really horrible moneyhabits.
I had multiple credit cards.
They were all maxed out.
Creditors were calling.
I didn't want to answer thephone.
I was dealing with my ownembarrassment and, of course, I
(08:45):
wasn't going to enter the roomand lead with that.
I was like y'all, I don't knowhow to manage money, I don't.
You know, we're all trying tohave a certain appearance on the
outside, but if we were sayingto each other for real, look, I
am struggling, we would havesupport, we'd have companionship
.
We, you know, there's apotential for that.
(09:06):
There's no potential when weare, you know, in this place of
shame, thinking we're doing itwrong and hiding.
So yeah, it's just yeah, so, so, so important, I think.
Mikita (09:20):
Definitely.
And I like how you mentioned,like how other people perceive
that you have money and that youhave it all together and you're
doing so much better whenreality, like we're all in the
same boat.
It just looks pretty in packagefrom the outside but it's, it's
really not.
And I think the first time Ihad a friend and she said I was
(09:43):
like, oh, let's go out to eat.
She was like I don't have anymoney, girl, I am broke.
And I was just so shockedbecause I really didn't have a
lot of money either.
The money I was going to use wasreally supposed to be paying a
bill, but I was willing to notpay that bill, to go out to eat
and do something else with it,which is, like you said, really
bad money habits.
(10:04):
And her saying that just allowedme the freedom to say I'm broke
too and I don't really have anymoney.
And it just lifted, like thisweight off of me of having to
feel like we always have to gosomewhere to do something that
requires us to spend money justto have a good time together,
(10:25):
because you don't, there's otherthings.
But until then I neverexpressed, even within my own
family, like my siblings, wenever talk about money or
finances or how someone's doingso.
There's a lot of shame andguilt, and I think dealing with
debt is often an emotionaljourney as well as a financial
(10:47):
one.
Throughout your journey, whenyou were talking about being in
college and having that shame ofnot wanting to pick up the
phone because you knew it was acreditor and you'd maxed out the
card, how did you work towardsthat financial freedom, to get
rid of that scarcity mindset andjust change your mindset
altogether?
Camille (11:10):
So that is an excellent question.
So it's interesting because forme all along when I had the
debt, I didn't know how I wouldget rid of it.
And kind of for anybody withstudent loans kind of, what
we're sold is get your education.
That's paramount.
(11:30):
I am all about education.
I think that is a reallyimportant asset to have.
So get your education.
And then where about thestudent loan later?
And we'll give you 30 years, 20years, whatever, just like a
mortgage.
You could just pay it off,don't worry about it.
But when I left medical schoolwith hundreds of thousands of
dollars in debt and I graduateda couple of decades ago for
(11:53):
folks now out of any kind ofprofessional school or after
maybe graduate training, itcould be twice.
What I was dealing with backthen easy.
I knew I wanted to get rid ofthe debt, but I had no plan.
I didn't have a model for howto do it.
There was nobody talking to meabout this is how you approach
it, but I knew I didn't want it.
(12:15):
At that time it literally mypayment when I finished school
was the same as my mortgage.
So I have these two mortgagesand I'm like I don't want two
mortgages.
How do I get rid of this and Iwould ask financial
professionals and they're likewhat you worried about, don't
worry about it 30 years, you'regood.
But the way that I dealt with itwas I kept being curious, I
(12:40):
kept reading.
As a matter of fact, when I wasgraduating from professional
school, I asked for books onpersonal finance because some
kind of way I knew I had aproblem, and so my friends were
kind of gifted me with thosebooks and as I read the first
one, I read, you know, thoseblack and yellow books for
(13:02):
dummies series personal financefor dummies.
That was a good one.
So that was the very first oneI read and it was so applicable,
so useful.
I just got thirsty.
I'm like I want to know more.
And in that journey I committedto myself every year I'm going
to learn more than I knew theyear before.
And I did learn a lot in thatjourney.
(13:24):
It took me 20 years.
At the end of 20 years I stillhad some debt.
Then I got a plan.
Then I got some strategy and anattack.
I had $100,000 left.
I paid that off in seven months.
At that point I stopped thinkingthat I had a money problem.
At that point I started feelingfreer.
(13:46):
My mind just opened up tothings that thought that,
honestly, were available to meall along.
But my belief was, with thisdebt, I can't also hold this
abundance, which is not true,and so that's stuff that I love
coaching people on.
And I got some validation fromthe financial advisor I had at
(14:10):
that time.
At first he was criticizing theapproach I was using, but when
I had success and I paideverything off, he's like oh my
gosh, can you teach yourcolleagues that?
Because now I put him on hold aminute.
I said I'm not going to bepaying you, and when I came back
I was investing so much withhim.
But I think I've used curiosity,learning, some exploration to
(14:33):
take me through that time.
And something that I don't wantto forget to mention is that,
although finances is veryimportant, it's just one of the
facets of this rich life that welive.
So our physical health isimportant.
Spiritual, emotional, family,your social circle those things
(14:54):
are all important.
So even if you have a financialstruggle or challenge, you can
pull on these other pieces ofyour life and still live a rich,
abundant life.
Yeah.
Mikita (15:08):
I like that you said that, because wealth is good and
we all want to be able toafford to do different things
throughout our life.
But you're right If we don'ttake care of our mental, our
spiritual and our health wise,then we're not going to be able
to enjoy any of the things thatwe want to gain financially.
(15:31):
You have to have all of thosebuilding blocks and those pieces
, and abundance comes in manyforms and I feel like when you
change your mindset around whatabundance is, that's where the
freedom for financial successcomes in at too.
Yeah.
Camille (15:49):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And since we're talking aboutmindset and I do coaching in
that practice, I just want totake just a little bit of time
to say I was certified in theLife Coach School and Brooke
Castillo is the one who kind ofput together the thought model
which is what I use in mycoaching practice.
(16:10):
So the thought model quickly isCTFAR.
We are all dealt thesecircumstances in life, things
that just are, they're facts.
People wouldn't really debatethem.
You know, if I said that todaywas Thursday, that's the
circumstance, it's Thursday.
(16:31):
But then with thosecircumstances and facts, they're
neutral, they're not bad,they're not good, they're just,
it's just Thursday.
But then we have a thoughtabout it.
So that's the T and the CTFAR.
We have a thought about thecircumstance and the thought
might be Thursdays are horribleor Thursdays are great.
(16:52):
It's nearly the end of the weekand we attach some meaning then
to the circumstance.
And then that thought Thursdaysare great will generate some
emotion in our body, whetherthat's elation, excited, happy,
whatever, and then the emotiondrives our actions and actions
drive our results.
(17:13):
So with money, the mindset, youknow how we approach.
Maybe I have debt, but what doI think about that?
Do I think this is anopportunity for me to learn some
habits.
That will, you know, take meforward and, you know, learn
some habits.
If I'm in a family, if I havechildren, I can teach these
habits to my children.
(17:33):
This debt is an opportunity, ordo I think?
You know, this is a burden.
I can't get anything done.
It's not an opportunity forcreativity.
It's just what it means is whatwe think about it, and so that
mindset about money whethermoney is scarce and I never have
any, which is how I grew upwith this insufficiency thought
(17:53):
or that you know money is aresult of service that we give
Money can be obtained.
If I'm creative, you know I canget money.
Those kinds of things willinform the experience we have
while we're in debt or not.
Mikita (18:14):
Recently, I think over the past year, I've changed my
mindset around money, and Idon't know what shifted per se.
But I know one day I was likeman, I need to have to do this,
I need to pay this off and Ineed to.
And then something said you'regoing to find a way to do this
(18:34):
because money always comes toyou.
It's, you know, it's what youdo with the money that makes the
biggest difference.
So what do you want to do?
Do you want to enjoy yourriches now, or see the progress
and see what you can do, andthen you'll be able to reap the
benefits you know later in amore abundant way.
The biggest question was how doI want to use the money and
(18:59):
which one would give me the bestfeeling of how I use it.
And then that shifted where Iwas putting my money into and
how I felt and related to oh mygosh, this bill is due or, you
know, I have to make thispayment, like, no, like I'm
going to because of this, I getto, you know, benefit in another
(19:22):
way.
And then I and I always talk tomy, especially my oldest
daughter, because my youngest isin college right now, but I
talk mostly to my oldestdaughter, and we talk about the
fact that, like, always tell heryou can go shopping and you can
spend money and buy the latestwhatever.
But you're also talking aboutpaying off this car.
(19:46):
So what would be the biggestbenefit for you and how would
you feel about it?
And if you start thinking aboutthat and let that start
motivating you and moving you,you're going to get that car
paid off way sooner and quickerand then you can close, are
always going to be there, likethey're going to be there.
(20:07):
It's going to be a new design,a new latest whatever and
another week or two, but thinkabout how you would feel knowing
you've accomplished thisfinancial you know.
So I just think it's great wayhow you said we attached
emotions to a lot of things.
We know these are facts, butthere are definitely emotions
attached.
Camille (20:28):
Yeah, that is such an excellent example and great
advice for your, for yourdaughter.
So you know, and another waythat I think about that
sometimes is, if you know, onethinks about your future self
right.
So, like myself, a year fromnow, which decision will that
future self really be gratefulfor?
(20:49):
Will my future self be moregrateful that she doesn't have a
car note and she has thesethree dresses in the closet?
Or would she be grateful that Iforget what I said?
But, like, if she does have acar note and these three dresses
in the closet, or, a year fromnow, no car note and what I used
to pay for the car note, I haveto buy dresses.
(21:11):
You know it, you know.
So that's one way to thinkabout it.
But there there's, you know, alot of different ways to think
about.
And when I was growing up andhad very different thoughts
about money and wealth and whatit meant, I used to look at
people and I thought I couldlook at and point out that the
rich people, and now everythingI think has very much shifted,
(21:36):
because it's not that it'snecessarily true, but sometimes
when I see folks really flossingand bling and I'm like that,
you know their money is in thestuff and, like this book, the
millionaire next door I lovethis term.
They use in the book artifacts.
Right, that person got all theartifacts.
The money in the bank, it's inthe artifacts.
(21:57):
That's not necessarily true.
You can have artifacts and havemoney in the bank at the same
time.
But a lot of times what I foundis, once you kind of have wealth
and you have that security oremergency fund is locked up, you
know how your kids are going togo to college if that's the
direction they're going into ortheir future is, you know,
(22:18):
secured from a financialperspective.
Your shelter is secure.
You know you own yourautomobile when you're you
really you know a lot of peopledon't have anything to prove and
it's not about the next thingI'm going to.
You know, purchase, like yousaid, that stuff will always be
there.
I get it.
It starts to go down in value.
(22:39):
You know, the biggest thing I'minto now is trying to thin out
my closet because I got too muchstuff.
The closet is jam packed withstuff.
You walk in there.
I can't find anything I like to, with some like I need to just
pair it down and I just wantless, you know.
So, yeah, our money, mindsetand what we think and what we
think we have to project and thechoices we make, is so, so
(23:02):
important.
Mikita (23:04):
It is.
I think I used to love clothestoo, but you know, I'm like that
too, like I don't want moreclothes.
I think I have enough.
If I wear the ones I got, thenI'll be doing something.
I want more life experiences.
That that's that.
That's my financial freedommore life experiences for me.
Camille (23:24):
I love that and I'm with you there.
See how I'm all sitting upstraight when you say that.
Because if that is just awesometo share some, I'm thinking
about putting together a postfrom my community around this
thought, the thought that youknow you want experiences and
you want to be able to just, youknow, pay for them.
(23:46):
Right, so you're paying foryour vacation now, but the
vacation happened last year.
Why you still paying for it,right?
Another way to do it is pay forwhat you can afford, save the
money up.
You know you want to go to forvacation in June, you want to be
, you know, set for vacation andit is just a.
(24:07):
You know, I've had it both ways.
I've been on vacation wherecharged it all up, came back and
I'm paying the bills andvacations done, the sun and the
fun is done, but I got the billsright.
And the other way, where Isaved up whatever and this is
what we have for vacation, whenwe're on vacation, we're using
this up and it's okay becauseeverything's taken care of, this
is just vacation money and wecome back, the vacation is over,
(24:29):
but I don't have the payments.
And it's really kind ofenjoyable and freeing that way.
And another thing that I just anidea, just want to introduce is
this idea of being your ownbank, where, when it comes to
paying for things that youdesire and consuming, you're not
borrowing money to do that, butthe money's in the bank, your
(24:53):
own money that you have there,and if you want to go on
vacation, you write a check.
If you want to buy a car, youwrite a check, and that's very
doable.
I think sometimes when I talklike that, folks are like yep,
she's saying that because she'srich, and the opposite is true.
You get rich by thinking thatway.
If I got to be doing paymentsfor five years, maybe I can't
afford that thing right now andthat's okay.
Mikita (25:20):
I'm very much for that, like very.
I don't think we've ever anytrip we've ever went on.
We've never paid when we gotback, unless maybe it was like
something small.
The trip itself is always paidfor, because, I'm telling you,
I'm not one of those peoplethat's going to pay on anything
(25:40):
for a long period of time.
I'm just not going to do it andI don't want to default.
So we got to get it done.
I know me.
I'm not going to do it.
I'm either not going to pay itand default and be in a bunch of
debt and trouble, or we'regoing to pay it, so I'd rather
just knock it out, or we're notgoing to go and I budget to the
(26:01):
last penny.
Also, even with my groceryshopping, like, if I go grocery
shopping, I literally thinkabout, like, if it's, if it's
wings we're getting, I'm like,how many pieces will each person
get?
So if this, this, this mini inthis bag, how many meals with
(26:21):
this?
Equal to like.
I am very strategic, and notthat I'm being cheap, but I just
I don't like to be wastefuleither.
Yes, yeah.
Camille (26:32):
Yeah, I have a good balance in my home because, in
all honesty, I could spend somemoney.
I am not even a lie.
My husband is very he's likewhat you want to spend what?
No, you know, he is justtotally the opposite of me.
I check myself because I likehave a plan and stick into the
(26:53):
plan and watching what I'm doing.
And I love doing that because Isee the, I see the fruit of it.
You know I love, I love havinga nice vacation.
But then that means you know Ineed to start putting away for
that vacation and you know ifwe're going to get out on a boat
and have lunch one day, I'mgoing to have that little couple
hundred dollars set aside forthat.
(27:14):
You know experience and I likethat.
And I let me tell you I lovewalking into a car dealership
because it's time to replace mycar and write in a check,
because they are not expectingthat.
They're telling you about thefive year payoff plan, the four
year payoff plan, the six yearpayoff plan, and when they're
done I'm like that's all good,but we're not doing any of that.
(27:36):
I'm just going to write yourcheck and this is how much I
have.
So let's talk and I love that.
So that takes that planning andthat strategy and being able to
wait, because maybe I want aparticular type of car and I
don't have that money right now.
But you know, the day I buy itit starts decreasing in value
anyway, so I'm not in a rush,you know.
(27:58):
Put the money together and thenget the vehicle.
You know that I desire, butthat I think and I think that's
another thing for us to be real,honest and understand you know
our needs versus our desires andour wants, and be clear about
that.
Mikita (28:17):
Yeah, and I think there are a lot of key lessons and I
know for the people that arelistening, like as you, as
they're listening, I know somepeople are like, okay, what are
some you know lessons aboutmoney and debt, key lessons and
personal finances that you know,like you wish you may have had
(28:37):
or known earlier.
You know because some peopleare in the beginning stages,
they're just starting to thinkabout what they should be or
could be doing, and I feel likethis conversation is a great
piece to figure out or get atleast the idea and thought
process going of what they cando.
So what are some lessons ortips for people?
Camille (29:01):
that you wish you would have.
So I think one of the things tobe successful with money first,
in addition to having a mindsetof abundance and not doing
everything from scarcity issomething that has nothing to do
with another thing that hasnothing to do with money at all,
which is contentment.
(29:22):
So if you have shelter, if youhave transportation and means to
get around, if you know whereyour next meals are coming from,
and you're supported in thatway to learn to be content with
what you have, to be fullycontent.
(29:44):
And what does that mean?
What does that feel like?
To not think I need to acquirethat thing, to be more right,
which nothing outside of youmakes you more than you are.
You're fully, you know.
Which is what was interestingfor me, because I started, I
kind of shed my ideas ofscarcity when I paid off my debt
.
I started to feel very capableabout money and I started to
(30:07):
have certain feelings that wereavailable all along, and if I
wasn't capable, I couldn't havepaid off the debt.
It was there with me all along.
I didn't recognize it.
But to be content with what youhave, that alone will bring
wealth, contentment, as opposedto a feeling of I need to have
this.
I want to have this.
(30:27):
I can't wait to do this.
I can't wait to do that.
I'll be happy when that's asure way to not manage money
well, and I was guided by youknow, I've had a lot of that
when I was younger, trying tolook a certain way.
And the other thing, in additionto contentment, I would say, is
learning to buy stuff in cashand learning this idea that big,
(30:52):
big, big purchases, like amortgage for a house you might
not be able to save it all up.
Save up as much as you can.
The bigger the down paymentthat you have, the more easy and
fast out it will be for you todeal with the payments.
But anything that you canreasonably buy in cash, whether
you have to save it, save forthree months, six months, 12
(31:16):
months you might want to do that.
Such a priorities and such amoney aside, to buy that thing
in cash instead of borrowing tobuy it.
If you have to borrow to buy it, that means you can't afford it
.
And so what things do you wantto borrow to buy?
And generally, people who arebuilding wealth actively and
(31:38):
effectively, they may beborrowing money, but the thing
that they buy is increasing invalue.
You don't borrow money to buymutual funds and stocks, but you
might borrow money to buy ahouse.
Houses usually go up in value.
Borrowing money to buy a car weall do it as like the normal
American thing, but cars go downin value.
(32:00):
So if you develop a habit of Ijust buy cars in cash, I save,
and it's not just a rich thing,that's how you get rich and
you'll get rich faster if youpractice that.
And if you don't have money, ifyou feel like my money isn't
enough, I can't meet my bills,it's even more important then
(32:21):
for you to not get another bill,which might not be the way
folks think about it, but buyingthings in cash and I think the
last thing about money is justthat focus and priority is a big
key.
Sometimes we try to doeverything with our money all at
(32:41):
once, when if we channel andfocus on these are my big
priorities we get a lot moreaccomplished, and that's really
true for any piece of our lifefinances, physical health,
anything else.
Mikita (32:58):
I like that and it's a great reminder for people to
just kind of step back for asecond and really start
evaluating how they're usingtheir money and how they feel
about what emotions that areinvolved buying something that's
going to appreciate in value.
I really liked that because Iwas like, ooh, I never thought
(33:21):
about it that way, you know, amI doing things that are going to
appreciate my value?
So, yeah, I like that Forpeople that feel shame and they
don't want to necessarily, youknow, and they're struggling
with emitting like I'm having aproblem or you know, I I just
(33:46):
feel like, you know, I've evenheard people say I'm just poor
and that's just what it is andthat's and I know that's kind of
a mindset that they, you know,they may have and it may be very
ingrained from past.
But how can people get around?
Yeah, not having the shame.
Camille (34:08):
So what you know, in all my talking I don't want to
minimize and say that thereisn't such a thing as Poverty,
there isn't such a thing as nothaving access In in some
communities, in some situations,right, and in our conversation
I'm making certain assumptions,like we're talking about
(34:29):
individuals who are functioningin society, who have employment
or know how to gain Employment,have skills they can put to use
and you know their whole, andthey don't have things that
would preclude them from the youknow access to money, to income
.
But once you have that accessand that income, you may not be
(34:57):
where you want to be, but the,the emotion of shame and the
thoughts about your growth andwhere you're going versus where
you are.
You know that shame kind ofcomes from what you think about,
where you are, and the shame isalthough I've heard, you know,
(35:18):
this old saying, you can'tchange it unless you shame it
Totally not true, right?
You can love yourself andenough to change.
You can, you know, love yourfuture, self enough to make
changes in what you're doing.
You can focus on your habitsand bring about change.
It doesn't have to come fromshame.
(35:41):
Shame really, it's an emotion weall experience, like the reason
we're talking to each other andwe know what we're talking
about is because I felt it.
You might have felt it, we'veall had these human emotions.
But to be aware, why am Iashamed about this?
What am I thinking about this?
Is there something else I couldpotentially be thinking,
(36:05):
instead of shame?
What do I want to feel aboutthis situation?
What would I have to think tofeel this?
You know that and that takes alittle bit of stopping being
aware of yourself and andcoaching really is an awesome
instrument to you know, when Isay I coach, it's not like
(36:26):
telling people you should dothis, you should.
It's not about that.
It's very much about bringingawareness to what you're
thinking and how that is drivingwhat you're doing and driving
your results, so that if youwant to change, you then have a
way to change your thinking.
If you want to learn how topick different thoughts that
(36:48):
bring about other emotions butshame is is a very it's one of
the smallest ways to drivechange they're much more
powerful ways.
You know love, enthusiasm,motivation they're much more
powerful emotions and while wefeel shame, it's just important
to be aware and then find a wayto switch that and I think, a
(37:10):
lot of emotions that cause us toshrink, to hide.
Then doesn't allow us to tapinto, you know, the fullness of
our humanity, which is so big.
We've been blessed with so muchcreativity as humans, with so
much in the mind.
So, yeah, and surround yourselfwith people that you know can
(37:35):
come at you with love.
You know, maybe a community oflike-minded people Is another
way around.
That, I think.
Get some coaching.
Mikita (37:46):
And just to add to that, I would also say Not to compare
yourself with someone else,because it's easy to look at
someone else and then feelshameful, thinking that they
have it and you don't.
Yeah, I thought theconversation.
You.
You know, even if it's small,just don't look at anyone else
(38:09):
and just assume that they'redoing great or they have
something that you think youshould have or you think you
should be on their level.
I remember I was, I was at aplace and One one of the people
that I was with was like youknow, I feel like I didn't do
(38:30):
anything with my life becausethis person is only they're only
like 26 years old and I'm like50 something and look at where
they're at and I'm like who saidthey're?
anywhere like you're looking atthis person, thinking they got
it together because they have adifferent title than you do.
But I don't mean Anything.
(38:53):
That doesn't say anything aboutwho you are, your character, or
nothing, or nothing.
Um, I think you're reallyreading into a whole lot of this
, because if I spent my wholelife Thinking about someone
else's title and what I thinkthat they're doing better or
more than me, I would never feellike I'm worthy.
Camille (39:14):
So it's so interesting because I think personally right
, I love being around people whoI Think are doing it, because I
think that's possible.
Look at what's possible for me.
Look at that.
You know, a person can do that,a person can create that
awesome.
And that's about where theusefulness of comparison comes
(39:37):
in, because, in fact, each of uswas so.
I do believe in a higher power,I am Christian, and that informs
some of what I think, but Ithink that each of us are
created for a unique purpose andwe're we.
We have a path that only wehave.
(39:57):
And Whatever, whoever createdus in my case, I think it's God
created us specifically for thatthing.
And while we're busy, worriedabout the next person's journey
and their path and what it lookslike to us, we are not honoring
(40:17):
our own journey.
And it is thoughts like that,honestly, that after years of
just Learning about money,learning about wealth, becoming
good at growing wealth and, youknow, just coaching anybody who
was in my space who wanted youknow a transformation, I said,
(40:38):
yeah, you know what I can.
I am being a doctor and I amfunctioning in that way, and I'm
also teaching people how youknow to be healthy in another
space, not the physical, but thefinancial arena, and I love
them both and I'm gonna do thatthing.
But we each just have thisunique path and mine doesn't
(41:00):
have to look like anybody else'sand nobody else's has to look
like mine.
And if we're comparingourselves again to little
ourselves, shrink ourselves,diminish our own light totally
useless Comparison and we justneed to be busy about our own
journey.
How can I Eat this going?
(41:21):
How can I keep joy in myjourney?
How can I spread light, give inmy journey?
Yeah, you're, you're.
That's a big thing, you'reright.
Mikita (41:31):
Definitely.
It is so, as we wrap up thisconversation, that you have to
tell us One way you areredefining self-care to pour
back in your into yourself withhelping other people, coaching,
you know, being a doctor.
How do you redefine what itmeans to show up for you?
Camille (41:52):
Yeah, so, especially recently, I've been spending a
lot of time thinking about thisfor myself, and so I actually
have a lot of things that I'vehad to do to keep myself whole
(42:12):
Joy as much as possible.
I mean happy, I mean being sadand being down as part of the
journey.
But but how can I supportmyself in the best way to be
there for my family, for myloved ones, for my business, for
my work?
One of the things that I'mdoing that goes a long way for
me is to begin my days withintention, and that looks like
(42:34):
kind of waking up Right, maybegrabbing something hot to drink
and sitting down and being awareof what is in my head and Also
giving some thought to what Iwant to be in my head and what I
want my day to look like, youknow, and then I usually start
off with some physical activityand some movement for these
(42:55):
stiff joints, and that justfloods the rest of my day With
with some ease.
So that's one of the ways.
It's just this intention at thebeginning of my day.
Some other things, though, I'lljust share.
One other thing Is that for along time in my life I was
(43:16):
really looking to other peopleTo give me happiness.
You know other people to giveme stuff that I can give myself,
and so, as an actor, I, and soas an act of love for myself,
you know, I give myself thosethings that I need.
I need compassion, you know Ineed understanding, you know I
(43:39):
mess up and I need grace, and soI give those things to myself.
And, yeah, if there are otherpeople in my space who are
willing to give that to me, I'lltake it, but if not, I know I'm
cured for because I'm holdingmyself.
Mikita (43:55):
I like that.
I really think about doingintention when I sometimes I
wake up and I'm not in the bestof mood.
It's life, it happens.
I don't want to get up, andthat's when I really sit there
and focus and say what's yourintention?
How do you want to movethroughout this day?
You can stay in this mood oryou can be intentional about how
(44:18):
you show up.
So I like that you said that,because today was one of those
days.
I woke up with a headache.
I was just not feeling it.
Camille (44:28):
And I will say sorry.
Mikita (44:30):
Makita?
No, no, I was just saying.
I sat there and I was like,okay, you have to be intentional
about how you want to show up.
It's up to you.
Camille (44:39):
Yeah, and I'll also say you know, I think the human
experience is beautiful and allof it.
So some days we're down, somedays I am sad, my heart is heavy
, but then I'm going to sit,allow that feeling to be, you
know.
And then how am I going to carefor myself when I'm feeling
(45:02):
that way?
You know, what do I need to doto care and love on myself when
I'm feeling that way?
It's not that, you know, Inever I'm going to be sad or I'm
never going to be down.
And the same is true too forfinances.
If I'm in, you know, a downcycle or someone's having, you
know, a hard time to payattention to that.
(45:24):
Maybe you know how.
You know what can we switch,what can we change.
Look at it and while you'regoing through it, have
compassion for yourself insteadof shame, you know.
But yeah, in the good days andI'm also in a place in life
where I'm realizing that, like,all of me is really really good
(45:48):
I like make horrible mistakes.
Sometimes I'm clumsy, sometimes, you know, I'm on this
perpetual journey with my, myweight, and I love all of that
and the stuff that I'm doing,really right, you know, it's the
good and the bad, and that'skind of the beauty, the beauty
of this life.
I'm learning from the stuffthat I'm not doing right.
(46:09):
I'm having all these beautifullessons.
When I stop and kind of payattention, I mean, gosh, I
learned so much.
You're going to be telling meto shut up in a second, but this
morning I think I woke up and Iwas.
I was focusing on somethingthat happened yesterday with my
husband.
I was like why was I thinkingthat way, you know, and just
(46:33):
learning how you know kind ofstuff that I'm charging him with
?
That really is my own stuff,you know.
It's just all beautiful.
Mikita (46:42):
I love that you said that you're loving learning to
love all of you, because that issuch a beautiful experience to
love everything.
I'm a little clumsy.
Everybody that knows me knowsit.
I'm going to drop something,spill something.
It's going to happen.
I used to be embarrassed aboutit.
Now it's just like, oh well, ithappened, it's going to happen,
(47:04):
it's okay.
So I think it's so amazing tolove every piece of you and just
have grace and laugh at thelessons and move forward with it
.
So tell everyone how they canconnect with you If they want to
know more about your coachingand how you can help them to get
(47:24):
rid of their debt and move intoa place of abundance versus
scarcity.
Camille (47:31):
Yeah.
So this, this really is my workof passion.
I love working with women,professional women.
I feel like you know, when uswomen have our money together
and we're confident about it, weknow what we're doing.
Our families benefit from itBecause of how it's transformed
(47:51):
my giving.
I didn't realize I'd be able togive in ways like this and
influence things that areimportant to me, like education,
for instance.
We can change our communities,so I think this is really
important.
Folks can reach me at Instagram.
It's at coach underscore, myunderscore, personal underscore,
(48:16):
finance or at the website HTTPScoach personal finance dot com.
Or email me, camille, at coachpersonal finance dot com.
Those are all ways to reach you.
I'm on Facebook Coast PersonalFinance.
Mikita (48:39):
I'm out there and don't be upset if you didn't have your
pen and pencil ready.
All that information is goingto be available for you in the
show notes so you can connectwith Camille and stop having
shame about your finances.
We've all been there, we'vedone it and we're all on a
journey to do better, so you'renot alone.
Camille (48:59):
Absolutely, and I'd love for anybody who's
interested to book a sales callso I can talk about how
one-on-one coaching can help inyour financial journey.
Mikita (49:07):
Yeah, yes.
Well, thank you so much forjust coming on and sharing your
knowledge with us.
This has been an amazingconversation.
Camille (49:18):
Thank you, makita, thank you so much.
Mikita (49:21):
All right, all right, you guys.
That is all the tea that wehave to spill today, but guess
what?
You can join me each and everyTuesday for more delicious hot
tea.
Until next time, namaste.
I think one of the things to be successful with
money first, in addition tohaving a mindset of abundance
and not doing everything fromscarcity, is something that has
nothing to do with money at all,which is contentment.
So if you have shelter, if youhave transportation and means to
(00:22):
get around, if you know whereyour next meals are coming from
and you're supported in that way, to learn to be content with
what you have, to be fullycontent.
And what does that mean?
What does that feel like?
To not think I need to acquirethat thing, to be more, which
(00:43):
nothing outside of you makes youmore than you are.
Mikita (00:46):
Hey there, I'm Makita, a small town girl with dreams who
started a podcast with an oldheadset and a laptop at my
kitchen table and made my dreamscome true.
On my podcast, time for Teawith Makita, we chat about
living life unapologetically, onyour terms, from career advice,
entrepreneurship, relationshipsand everything in between.
(01:07):
This is your one-stop shop forreal conversations and
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If you're looking forconnection, then you've found it
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Join me every Tuesday as wedive into those sometimes hard
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So grab a cup of tea or coffeeand get comfy, because this is
Thym 4 Tea with Makita, and thetea is definitely hot.
(01:29):
Ever feel like you need a superpower boost of motivation with
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Well, say hello to your newinspiration hotspot the Tuesday
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(01:50):
Sign up for the Tuesday Teanewsletter today at
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level.
Welcome back.
It is Time for Tea and I'mMakita.
I just want to thank you somuch for sharing your time, your
space and your amazing energywith me today.
The other day I came upon aquote by Tony Robbins.
(02:12):
It said the moment you shiftfrom a scarcity mindset to an
abundance mindset, you journeyto a financial freedom.
So this was like so on pointfor our conversation today and I
really wanted to share thatwith you guys.
I have an amazing guest.
(02:34):
She is a life coach who hasmastered the art of shedding the
burdens of scarcity and shamearound money.
Camille's journey fromfinancial struggle to one of
security and abundance, alongwith her dedication to helping
other professional womeneverywhere break free from
six-figure debts, is a powerfultestament to transforming one's
(02:58):
financial mindset and life.
So, camille, welcome and thankyou for sharing your time and
your energy with us today.
Camille (03:05):
Thank you so much, Mikita, for sharing this space
with me and having me here.
I'm really excited and happy tobe here with you.
Mikita (03:12):
Thank you, I'm excited too.
This is such a greatconversation.
I think sometimes we talk abouta lot of stuff as women, but
rarely do we talk about moneyand financial freedom and what
that would look like for us.
Camille (03:31):
That is so true, and sometimes I think about this in
a historical context, about how,if we think back to ancient
times in civilization, womenwere socialized literally to be
property.
(03:51):
You were owned by your dad andthen, when you got married, if
you did get a husband, then yourdad would give you a way to
your husband.
You take your husband's name,and we were not socialized to
have wealth, to talk aboutwealth, to be about wealth.
(04:14):
We contributed to the families,always in really meaningful,
important ways, and tocivilization and society.
But the money talk is just nota thing.
If we're talking here and nailsand family stuff, yeah, but not
a lot of us have the easearound the money stuff and
(04:34):
there's no good reason for usnot to.
Mikita (04:38):
I definitely agree.
Now, before we get into all thetea on you sharing the backdrop
of your story for those who maynot be familiar with you and
what you do, could you give thema little background into what
you do today?
Camille (04:55):
So what I do today is I'm a certified life coach and I
help my clients who havesix-figure debt or multiple
six-figure debt in all honesty,I'll help anybody with that to
develop a financial plan to getrid of that debt much more
quickly than they thought theycould, so that whatever goals
(05:16):
they have in life they can reachand achieve more easily.
Maybe it is that down paymentfor a house, maybe it is
upgrading that car, maybe it issending kids to college, but
sometimes the debt does notfacilitate all of that, and so
getting rid of the debtsometimes seems insurmountable,
(05:38):
and I help with that throughmoney advice and money teaching,
and then to deal with the dramathat comes up for us through
life coaching.
Mikita (05:48):
Yes, well, thank you for doing that one.
But, like you said, it'samazing because I realized that
I was watching this movie.
I don't know the name of it,but it was very interesting to
realize that it was not thatlong ago.
We think about women's right toown land and own property and
(06:11):
vote and do all these things.
It was not as long ago assometimes it's spoken about, but
we were not allowed to ownanything and you were the
property of your family to beused and bothered in different
ways.
So the idea of speaking aboutfinancial struggle is one of
(06:35):
those things how you nevertalked about what goes on in the
household but you never sharedfinancial struggles or say, hey,
I'm having a hard time, I don'thave the money.
I am struggling here to justmake ends meet or put food on
the table, let alone pay billsand get out of debt.
Camille (06:57):
So you know this and so I think what you just hit on is
so multi-layered.
First, yes, there's a pieceabout how we were socialized and
conditioned and some of us justare not comfortable talking,
don't want to talk about money,right.
And then there's this otherpiece where, if we're not where
(07:19):
we think we should befinancially, we also don't want
to share, right, we don't wantto open up and talk about that.
And that reminds me ofsomething that happened to me
recently.
So in my other life I'm aphysician, a physician leader in
internal medicine and hospitalmedicine, and I trained at a
medical school and the browngirls in my class we would get
(07:40):
together while we were goingthrough training over 20 years
ago and we would have potlucks.
And we got together recentlyand one of my classmates she was
saying you know, back thenshe's a very successful
physician now at a teachinginstitution and you know she's
(08:02):
got it together, no issues.
But she shared, you know, backthen she was really struggling
financially.
I'm from Jamaica, she was fromJamaica, she was an
international student, herfamily was not here in the
States and she said you know,sometimes we got together for
those potlucks and that's when Iwould eat for the day and you
(08:24):
all were so rich and I wasthinking about the fact that
none of us knew this.
She was sharing this with usnow, but at the time I was
struggling.
I was in medical school.
I had really horrible moneyhabits.
I had multiple credit cards.
They were all maxed out.
Creditors were calling.
I didn't want to answer thephone.
I was dealing with my ownembarrassment and, of course, I
(08:45):
wasn't going to enter the roomand lead with that.
I was like y'all, I don't knowhow to manage money, I don't.
You know, we're all trying tohave a certain appearance on the
outside, but if we were sayingto each other for real, look, I
am struggling, we would havesupport, we'd have companionship
.
We, you know, there's apotential for that.
(09:06):
There's no potential when weare, you know, in this place of
shame, thinking we're doing itwrong and hiding.
So yeah, it's just yeah, so, so, so important, I think.
Mikita (09:20):
Definitely.
And I like how you mentioned,like how other people perceive
that you have money and that youhave it all together and you're
doing so much better whenreality, like we're all in the
same boat.
It just looks pretty in packagefrom the outside but it's, it's
really not.
And I think the first time Ihad a friend and she said I was
(09:43):
like, oh, let's go out to eat.
She was like I don't have anymoney, girl, I am broke.
And I was just so shockedbecause I really didn't have a
lot of money either.
The money I was going to use wasreally supposed to be paying a
bill, but I was willing to notpay that bill, to go out to eat
and do something else with it,which is, like you said, really
bad money habits.
(10:04):
And her saying that just allowedme the freedom to say I'm broke
too and I don't really have anymoney.
And it just lifted, like thisweight off of me of having to
feel like we always have to gosomewhere to do something that
requires us to spend money justto have a good time together,
(10:25):
because you don't, there's otherthings.
But until then I neverexpressed, even within my own
family, like my siblings, wenever talk about money or
finances or how someone's doingso.
There's a lot of shame andguilt, and I think dealing with
debt is often an emotionaljourney as well as a financial
(10:47):
one.
Throughout your journey, whenyou were talking about being in
college and having that shame ofnot wanting to pick up the
phone because you knew it was acreditor and you'd maxed out the
card, how did you work towardsthat financial freedom, to get
rid of that scarcity mindset andjust change your mindset
altogether?
Camille (11:10):
So that is an excellent question.
So it's interesting because forme all along when I had the
debt, I didn't know how I wouldget rid of it.
And kind of for anybody withstudent loans kind of, what
we're sold is get your education.
That's paramount.
(11:30):
I am all about education.
I think that is a reallyimportant asset to have.
So get your education.
And then where about thestudent loan later?
And we'll give you 30 years, 20years, whatever, just like a
mortgage.
You could just pay it off,don't worry about it.
But when I left medical schoolwith hundreds of thousands of
dollars in debt and I graduateda couple of decades ago for
(11:53):
folks now out of any kind ofprofessional school or after
maybe graduate training, itcould be twice.
What I was dealing with backthen easy.
I knew I wanted to get rid ofthe debt, but I had no plan.
I didn't have a model for howto do it.
There was nobody talking to meabout this is how you approach
it, but I knew I didn't want it.
(12:15):
At that time it literally mypayment when I finished school
was the same as my mortgage.
So I have these two mortgagesand I'm like I don't want two
mortgages.
How do I get rid of this and Iwould ask financial
professionals and they're likewhat you worried about, don't
worry about it 30 years, you'regood.
But the way that I dealt with itwas I kept being curious, I
(12:40):
kept reading.
As a matter of fact, when I wasgraduating from professional
school, I asked for books onpersonal finance because some
kind of way I knew I had aproblem, and so my friends were
kind of gifted me with thosebooks and as I read the first
one, I read, you know, thoseblack and yellow books for
(13:02):
dummies series personal financefor dummies.
That was a good one.
So that was the very first oneI read and it was so applicable,
so useful.
I just got thirsty.
I'm like I want to know more.
And in that journey I committedto myself every year I'm going
to learn more than I knew theyear before.
And I did learn a lot in thatjourney.
(13:24):
It took me 20 years.
At the end of 20 years I stillhad some debt.
Then I got a plan.
Then I got some strategy and anattack.
I had $100,000 left.
I paid that off in seven months.
At that point I stopped thinkingthat I had a money problem.
At that point I started feelingfreer.
(13:46):
My mind just opened up tothings that thought that,
honestly, were available to meall along.
But my belief was, with thisdebt, I can't also hold this
abundance, which is not true,and so that's stuff that I love
coaching people on.
And I got some validation fromthe financial advisor I had at
(14:10):
that time.
At first he was criticizing theapproach I was using, but when
I had success and I paideverything off, he's like oh my
gosh, can you teach yourcolleagues that?
Because now I put him on hold aminute.
I said I'm not going to bepaying you, and when I came back
I was investing so much withhim.
But I think I've used curiosity,learning, some exploration to
(14:33):
take me through that time.
And something that I don't wantto forget to mention is that,
although finances is veryimportant, it's just one of the
facets of this rich life that welive.
So our physical health isimportant.
Spiritual, emotional, family,your social circle those things
(14:54):
are all important.
So even if you have a financialstruggle or challenge, you can
pull on these other pieces ofyour life and still live a rich,
abundant life.
Yeah.
Mikita (15:08):
I like that you said that, because wealth is good and
we all want to be able toafford to do different things
throughout our life.
But you're right If we don'ttake care of our mental, our
spiritual and our health wise,then we're not going to be able
to enjoy any of the things thatwe want to gain financially.
(15:31):
You have to have all of thosebuilding blocks and those pieces
, and abundance comes in manyforms and I feel like when you
change your mindset around whatabundance is, that's where the
freedom for financial successcomes in at too.
Yeah.
Camille (15:49):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And since we're talking aboutmindset and I do coaching in
that practice, I just want totake just a little bit of time
to say I was certified in theLife Coach School and Brooke
Castillo is the one who kind ofput together the thought model
which is what I use in mycoaching practice.
(16:10):
So the thought model quickly isCTFAR.
We are all dealt thesecircumstances in life, things
that just are, they're facts.
People wouldn't really debatethem.
You know, if I said that todaywas Thursday, that's the
circumstance, it's Thursday.
(16:31):
But then with thosecircumstances and facts, they're
neutral, they're not bad,they're not good, they're just,
it's just Thursday.
But then we have a thoughtabout it.
So that's the T and the CTFAR.
We have a thought about thecircumstance and the thought
might be Thursdays are horribleor Thursdays are great.
(16:52):
It's nearly the end of the weekand we attach some meaning then
to the circumstance.
And then that thought Thursdaysare great will generate some
emotion in our body, whetherthat's elation, excited, happy,
whatever, and then the emotiondrives our actions and actions
drive our results.
(17:13):
So with money, the mindset, youknow how we approach.
Maybe I have debt, but what doI think about that?
Do I think this is anopportunity for me to learn some
habits.
That will, you know, take meforward and, you know, learn
some habits.
If I'm in a family, if I havechildren, I can teach these
habits to my children.
(17:33):
This debt is an opportunity, ordo I think?
You know, this is a burden.
I can't get anything done.
It's not an opportunity forcreativity.
It's just what it means is whatwe think about it, and so that
mindset about money whethermoney is scarce and I never have
any, which is how I grew upwith this insufficiency thought
(17:53):
or that you know money is aresult of service that we give
Money can be obtained.
If I'm creative, you know I canget money.
Those kinds of things willinform the experience we have
while we're in debt or not.
Mikita (18:14):
Recently, I think over the past year, I've changed my
mindset around money, and Idon't know what shifted per se.
But I know one day I was likeman, I need to have to do this,
I need to pay this off and Ineed to.
And then something said you'regoing to find a way to do this
(18:34):
because money always comes toyou.
It's, you know, it's what youdo with the money that makes the
biggest difference.
So what do you want to do?
Do you want to enjoy yourriches now, or see the progress
and see what you can do, andthen you'll be able to reap the
benefits you know later in amore abundant way.
The biggest question was how doI want to use the money and
(18:59):
which one would give me the bestfeeling of how I use it.
And then that shifted where Iwas putting my money into and
how I felt and related to oh mygosh, this bill is due or, you
know, I have to make thispayment, like, no, like I'm
going to because of this, I getto, you know, benefit in another
(19:22):
way.
And then I and I always talk tomy, especially my oldest
daughter, because my youngest isin college right now, but I
talk mostly to my oldestdaughter, and we talk about the
fact that, like, always tell heryou can go shopping and you can
spend money and buy the latestwhatever.
But you're also talking aboutpaying off this car.
(19:46):
So what would be the biggestbenefit for you and how would
you feel about it?
And if you start thinking aboutthat and let that start
motivating you and moving you,you're going to get that car
paid off way sooner and quickerand then you can close, are
always going to be there, likethey're going to be there.
(20:07):
It's going to be a new design,a new latest whatever and
another week or two, but thinkabout how you would feel knowing
you've accomplished thisfinancial you know.
So I just think it's great wayhow you said we attached
emotions to a lot of things.
We know these are facts, butthere are definitely emotions
attached.
Camille (20:28):
Yeah, that is such an excellent example and great
advice for your, for yourdaughter.
So you know, and another waythat I think about that
sometimes is, if you know, onethinks about your future self
right.
So, like myself, a year fromnow, which decision will that
future self really be gratefulfor?
(20:49):
Will my future self be moregrateful that she doesn't have a
car note and she has thesethree dresses in the closet?
Or would she be grateful that Iforget what I said?
But, like, if she does have acar note and these three dresses
in the closet, or, a year fromnow, no car note and what I used
to pay for the car note, I haveto buy dresses.
(21:11):
You know it, you know.
So that's one way to thinkabout it.
But there there's, you know, alot of different ways to think
about.
And when I was growing up andhad very different thoughts
about money and wealth and whatit meant, I used to look at
people and I thought I couldlook at and point out that the
rich people, and now everythingI think has very much shifted,
(21:36):
because it's not that it'snecessarily true, but sometimes
when I see folks really flossingand bling and I'm like that,
you know their money is in thestuff and, like this book, the
millionaire next door I lovethis term.
They use in the book artifacts.
Right, that person got all theartifacts.
The money in the bank, it's inthe artifacts.
(21:57):
That's not necessarily true.
You can have artifacts and havemoney in the bank at the same
time.
But a lot of times what I foundis, once you kind of have wealth
and you have that security oremergency fund is locked up, you
know how your kids are going togo to college if that's the
direction they're going into ortheir future is, you know,
(22:18):
secured from a financialperspective.
Your shelter is secure.
You know you own yourautomobile when you're you
really you know a lot of peopledon't have anything to prove and
it's not about the next thingI'm going to.
You know, purchase, like yousaid, that stuff will always be
there.
I get it.
It starts to go down in value.
(22:39):
You know, the biggest thing I'minto now is trying to thin out
my closet because I got too muchstuff.
The closet is jam packed withstuff.
You walk in there.
I can't find anything I like to, with some like I need to just
pair it down and I just wantless, you know.
So, yeah, our money, mindsetand what we think and what we
think we have to project and thechoices we make, is so, so
(23:02):
important.
Mikita (23:04):
It is.
I think I used to love clothestoo, but you know, I'm like that
too, like I don't want moreclothes.
I think I have enough.
If I wear the ones I got, thenI'll be doing something.
I want more life experiences.
That that's that.
That's my financial freedommore life experiences for me.
Camille (23:24):
I love that and I'm with you there.
See how I'm all sitting upstraight when you say that.
Because if that is just awesometo share some, I'm thinking
about putting together a postfrom my community around this
thought, the thought that youknow you want experiences and
you want to be able to just, youknow, pay for them.
(23:46):
Right, so you're paying foryour vacation now, but the
vacation happened last year.
Why you still paying for it,right?
Another way to do it is pay forwhat you can afford, save the
money up.
You know you want to go to forvacation in June, you want to be
, you know, set for vacation andit is just a.
(24:07):
You know, I've had it both ways.
I've been on vacation wherecharged it all up, came back and
I'm paying the bills andvacations done, the sun and the
fun is done, but I got the billsright.
And the other way, where Isaved up whatever and this is
what we have for vacation, whenwe're on vacation, we're using
this up and it's okay becauseeverything's taken care of, this
is just vacation money and wecome back, the vacation is over,
(24:29):
but I don't have the payments.
And it's really kind ofenjoyable and freeing that way.
And another thing that I just anidea, just want to introduce is
this idea of being your ownbank, where, when it comes to
paying for things that youdesire and consuming, you're not
borrowing money to do that, butthe money's in the bank, your
(24:53):
own money that you have there,and if you want to go on
vacation, you write a check.
If you want to buy a car, youwrite a check, and that's very
doable.
I think sometimes when I talklike that, folks are like yep,
she's saying that because she'srich, and the opposite is true.
You get rich by thinking thatway.
If I got to be doing paymentsfor five years, maybe I can't
afford that thing right now andthat's okay.
Mikita (25:20):
I'm very much for that, like very.
I don't think we've ever anytrip we've ever went on.
We've never paid when we gotback, unless maybe it was like
something small.
The trip itself is always paidfor, because, I'm telling you,
I'm not one of those peoplethat's going to pay on anything
(25:40):
for a long period of time.
I'm just not going to do it andI don't want to default.
So we got to get it done.
I know me.
I'm not going to do it.
I'm either not going to pay itand default and be in a bunch of
debt and trouble, or we'regoing to pay it, so I'd rather
just knock it out, or we're notgoing to go and I budget to the
(26:01):
last penny.
Also, even with my groceryshopping, like, if I go grocery
shopping, I literally thinkabout, like, if it's, if it's
wings we're getting, I'm like,how many pieces will each person
get?
So if this, this, this mini inthis bag, how many meals with
(26:21):
this?
Equal to like.
I am very strategic, and notthat I'm being cheap, but I just
I don't like to be wastefuleither.
Yes, yeah.
Camille (26:32):
Yeah, I have a good balance in my home because, in
all honesty, I could spend somemoney.
I am not even a lie.
My husband is very he's likewhat you want to spend what?
No, you know, he is justtotally the opposite of me.
I check myself because I likehave a plan and stick into the
(26:53):
plan and watching what I'm doing.
And I love doing that because Isee the, I see the fruit of it.
You know I love, I love havinga nice vacation.
But then that means you know Ineed to start putting away for
that vacation and you know ifwe're going to get out on a boat
and have lunch one day, I'mgoing to have that little couple
hundred dollars set aside forthat.
(27:14):
You know experience and I likethat.
And I let me tell you I lovewalking into a car dealership
because it's time to replace mycar and write in a check,
because they are not expectingthat.
They're telling you about thefive year payoff plan, the four
year payoff plan, the six yearpayoff plan, and when they're
done I'm like that's all good,but we're not doing any of that.
(27:36):
I'm just going to write yourcheck and this is how much I
have.
So let's talk and I love that.
So that takes that planning andthat strategy and being able to
wait, because maybe I want aparticular type of car and I
don't have that money right now.
But you know, the day I buy itit starts decreasing in value
anyway, so I'm not in a rush,you know.
(27:58):
Put the money together and thenget the vehicle.
You know that I desire, butthat I think and I think that's
another thing for us to be real,honest and understand you know
our needs versus our desires andour wants, and be clear about
that.
Mikita (28:17):
Yeah, and I think there are a lot of key lessons and I
know for the people that arelistening, like as you, as
they're listening, I know somepeople are like, okay, what are
some you know lessons aboutmoney and debt, key lessons and
personal finances that you know,like you wish you may have had
(28:37):
or known earlier.
You know because some peopleare in the beginning stages,
they're just starting to thinkabout what they should be or
could be doing, and I feel likethis conversation is a great
piece to figure out or get atleast the idea and thought
process going of what they cando.
So what are some lessons ortips for people?
Camille (29:01):
that you wish you would have.
So I think one of the things tobe successful with money first,
in addition to having a mindsetof abundance and not doing
everything from scarcity issomething that has nothing to do
with another thing that hasnothing to do with money at all,
which is contentment.
(29:22):
So if you have shelter, if youhave transportation and means to
get around, if you know whereyour next meals are coming from,
and you're supported in thatway to learn to be content with
what you have, to be fullycontent.
(29:44):
And what does that mean?
What does that feel like?
To not think I need to acquirethat thing, to be more right,
which nothing outside of youmakes you more than you are.
You're fully, you know.
Which is what was interestingfor me, because I started, I
kind of shed my ideas ofscarcity when I paid off my debt
.
I started to feel very capableabout money and I started to
(30:07):
have certain feelings that wereavailable all along, and if I
wasn't capable, I couldn't havepaid off the debt.
It was there with me all along.
I didn't recognize it.
But to be content with what youhave, that alone will bring
wealth, contentment, as opposedto a feeling of I need to have
this.
I want to have this.
(30:27):
I can't wait to do this.
I can't wait to do that.
I'll be happy when that's asure way to not manage money
well, and I was guided by youknow, I've had a lot of that
when I was younger, trying tolook a certain way.
And the other thing, in additionto contentment, I would say, is
learning to buy stuff in cashand learning this idea that big,
(30:52):
big, big purchases, like amortgage for a house you might
not be able to save it all up.
Save up as much as you can.
The bigger the down paymentthat you have, the more easy and
fast out it will be for you todeal with the payments.
But anything that you canreasonably buy in cash, whether
you have to save it, save forthree months, six months, 12
(31:16):
months you might want to do that.
Such a priorities and such amoney aside, to buy that thing
in cash instead of borrowing tobuy it.
If you have to borrow to buy it, that means you can't afford it
.
And so what things do you wantto borrow to buy?
And generally, people who arebuilding wealth actively and
(31:38):
effectively, they may beborrowing money, but the thing
that they buy is increasing invalue.
You don't borrow money to buymutual funds and stocks, but you
might borrow money to buy ahouse.
Houses usually go up in value.
Borrowing money to buy a car weall do it as like the normal
American thing, but cars go downin value.
(32:00):
So if you develop a habit of Ijust buy cars in cash, I save,
and it's not just a rich thing,that's how you get rich and
you'll get rich faster if youpractice that.
And if you don't have money, ifyou feel like my money isn't
enough, I can't meet my bills,it's even more important then
(32:21):
for you to not get another bill,which might not be the way
folks think about it, but buyingthings in cash and I think the
last thing about money is justthat focus and priority is a big
key.
Sometimes we try to doeverything with our money all at
(32:41):
once, when if we channel andfocus on these are my big
priorities we get a lot moreaccomplished, and that's really
true for any piece of our lifefinances, physical health,
anything else.
Mikita (32:58):
I like that and it's a great reminder for people to
just kind of step back for asecond and really start
evaluating how they're usingtheir money and how they feel
about what emotions that areinvolved buying something that's
going to appreciate in value.
I really liked that because Iwas like, ooh, I never thought
(33:21):
about it that way, you know, amI doing things that are going to
appreciate my value?
So, yeah, I like that Forpeople that feel shame and they
don't want to necessarily, youknow, and they're struggling
with emitting like I'm having aproblem or you know, I I just
(33:46):
feel like, you know, I've evenheard people say I'm just poor
and that's just what it is andthat's and I know that's kind of
a mindset that they, you know,they may have and it may be very
ingrained from past.
But how can people get around?
Yeah, not having the shame.
Camille (34:08):
So what you know, in all my talking I don't want to
minimize and say that thereisn't such a thing as Poverty,
there isn't such a thing as nothaving access In in some
communities, in some situations,right, and in our conversation
I'm making certain assumptions,like we're talking about
(34:29):
individuals who are functioningin society, who have employment
or know how to gain Employment,have skills they can put to use
and you know their whole, andthey don't have things that
would preclude them from the youknow access to money, to income
.
But once you have that accessand that income, you may not be
(34:57):
where you want to be, but the,the emotion of shame and the
thoughts about your growth andwhere you're going versus where
you are.
You know that shame kind ofcomes from what you think about,
where you are, and the shame isalthough I've heard, you know,
(35:18):
this old saying, you can'tchange it unless you shame it
Totally not true, right?
You can love yourself andenough to change.
You can, you know, love yourfuture, self enough to make
changes in what you're doing.
You can focus on your habitsand bring about change.
It doesn't have to come fromshame.
(35:41):
Shame really, it's an emotion weall experience, like the reason
we're talking to each other andwe know what we're talking
about is because I felt it.
You might have felt it, we'veall had these human emotions.
But to be aware, why am Iashamed about this?
What am I thinking about this?
Is there something else I couldpotentially be thinking,
(36:05):
instead of shame?
What do I want to feel aboutthis situation?
What would I have to think tofeel this?
You know that and that takes alittle bit of stopping being
aware of yourself and andcoaching really is an awesome
instrument to you know, when Isay I coach, it's not like
(36:26):
telling people you should dothis, you should.
It's not about that.
It's very much about bringingawareness to what you're
thinking and how that is drivingwhat you're doing and driving
your results, so that if youwant to change, you then have a
way to change your thinking.
If you want to learn how topick different thoughts that
(36:48):
bring about other emotions butshame is is a very it's one of
the smallest ways to drivechange they're much more
powerful ways.
You know love, enthusiasm,motivation they're much more
powerful emotions and while wefeel shame, it's just important
to be aware and then find a wayto switch that and I think, a
(37:10):
lot of emotions that cause us toshrink, to hide.
Then doesn't allow us to tapinto, you know, the fullness of
our humanity, which is so big.
We've been blessed with so muchcreativity as humans, with so
much in the mind.
So, yeah, and surround yourselfwith people that you know can
(37:35):
come at you with love.
You know, maybe a community oflike-minded people Is another
way around.
That, I think.
Get some coaching.
Mikita (37:46):
And just to add to that, I would also say Not to compare
yourself with someone else,because it's easy to look at
someone else and then feelshameful, thinking that they
have it and you don't.
Yeah, I thought theconversation.
You.
You know, even if it's small,just don't look at anyone else
(38:09):
and just assume that they'redoing great or they have
something that you think youshould have or you think you
should be on their level.
I remember I was, I was at aplace and One one of the people
that I was with was like youknow, I feel like I didn't do
(38:30):
anything with my life becausethis person is only they're only
like 26 years old and I'm like50 something and look at where
they're at and I'm like who saidthey're?
anywhere like you're looking atthis person, thinking they got
it together because they have adifferent title than you do.
But I don't mean Anything.
(38:53):
That doesn't say anything aboutwho you are, your character, or
nothing, or nothing.
Um, I think you're reallyreading into a whole lot of this
, because if I spent my wholelife Thinking about someone
else's title and what I thinkthat they're doing better or
more than me, I would never feellike I'm worthy.
Camille (39:14):
So it's so interesting because I think personally right
, I love being around people whoI Think are doing it, because I
think that's possible.
Look at what's possible for me.
Look at that.
You know, a person can do that,a person can create that
awesome.
And that's about where theusefulness of comparison comes
(39:37):
in, because, in fact, each of uswas so.
I do believe in a higher power,I am Christian, and that informs
some of what I think, but Ithink that each of us are
created for a unique purpose andwe're we.
We have a path that only wehave.
(39:57):
And Whatever, whoever createdus in my case, I think it's God
created us specifically for thatthing.
And while we're busy, worriedabout the next person's journey
and their path and what it lookslike to us, we are not honoring
(40:17):
our own journey.
And it is thoughts like that,honestly, that after years of
just Learning about money,learning about wealth, becoming
good at growing wealth and, youknow, just coaching anybody who
was in my space who wanted youknow a transformation, I said,
(40:38):
yeah, you know what I can.
I am being a doctor and I amfunctioning in that way, and I'm
also teaching people how youknow to be healthy in another
space, not the physical, but thefinancial arena, and I love
them both and I'm gonna do thatthing.
But we each just have thisunique path and mine doesn't
(41:00):
have to look like anybody else'sand nobody else's has to look
like mine.
And if we're comparingourselves again to little
ourselves, shrink ourselves,diminish our own light totally
useless Comparison and we justneed to be busy about our own
journey.
How can I Eat this going?
(41:21):
How can I keep joy in myjourney?
How can I spread light, give inmy journey?
Yeah, you're, you're.
That's a big thing, you'reright.
Mikita (41:31):
Definitely.
It is so, as we wrap up thisconversation, that you have to
tell us One way you areredefining self-care to pour
back in your into yourself withhelping other people, coaching,
you know, being a doctor.
How do you redefine what itmeans to show up for you?
Camille (41:52):
Yeah, so, especially recently, I've been spending a
lot of time thinking about thisfor myself, and so I actually
have a lot of things that I'vehad to do to keep myself whole
(42:12):
Joy as much as possible.
I mean happy, I mean being sadand being down as part of the
journey.
But but how can I supportmyself in the best way to be
there for my family, for myloved ones, for my business, for
my work?
One of the things that I'mdoing that goes a long way for
me is to begin my days withintention, and that looks like
(42:34):
kind of waking up Right, maybegrabbing something hot to drink
and sitting down and being awareof what is in my head and Also
giving some thought to what Iwant to be in my head and what I
want my day to look like, youknow, and then I usually start
off with some physical activityand some movement for these
(42:55):
stiff joints, and that justfloods the rest of my day With
with some ease.
So that's one of the ways.
It's just this intention at thebeginning of my day.
Some other things, though, I'lljust share.
One other thing Is that for along time in my life I was
(43:16):
really looking to other peopleTo give me happiness.
You know other people to giveme stuff that I can give myself,
and so, as an actor, I, and soas an act of love for myself,
you know, I give myself thosethings that I need.
I need compassion, you know Ineed understanding, you know I
(43:39):
mess up and I need grace, and soI give those things to myself.
And, yeah, if there are otherpeople in my space who are
willing to give that to me, I'lltake it, but if not, I know I'm
cured for because I'm holdingmyself.
Mikita (43:55):
I like that.
I really think about doingintention when I sometimes I
wake up and I'm not in the bestof mood.
It's life, it happens.
I don't want to get up, andthat's when I really sit there
and focus and say what's yourintention?
How do you want to movethroughout this day?
You can stay in this mood oryou can be intentional about how
(44:18):
you show up.
So I like that you said that,because today was one of those
days.
I woke up with a headache.
I was just not feeling it.
Camille (44:28):
And I will say sorry.
Mikita (44:30):
Makita?
No, no, I was just saying.
I sat there and I was like,okay, you have to be intentional
about how you want to show up.
It's up to you.
Camille (44:39):
Yeah, and I'll also say you know, I think the human
experience is beautiful and allof it.
So some days we're down, somedays I am sad, my heart is heavy
, but then I'm going to sit,allow that feeling to be, you
know.
And then how am I going to carefor myself when I'm feeling
(45:02):
that way?
You know, what do I need to doto care and love on myself when
I'm feeling that way?
It's not that, you know, Inever I'm going to be sad or I'm
never going to be down.
And the same is true too forfinances.
If I'm in, you know, a downcycle or someone's having, you
know, a hard time to payattention to that.
(45:24):
Maybe you know how.
You know what can we switch,what can we change.
Look at it and while you'regoing through it, have
compassion for yourself insteadof shame, you know.
But yeah, in the good days andI'm also in a place in life
where I'm realizing that, like,all of me is really really good
(45:48):
I like make horrible mistakes.
Sometimes I'm clumsy, sometimes, you know, I'm on this
perpetual journey with my, myweight, and I love all of that
and the stuff that I'm doing,really right, you know, it's the
good and the bad, and that'skind of the beauty, the beauty
of this life.
I'm learning from the stuffthat I'm not doing right.
(46:09):
I'm having all these beautifullessons.
When I stop and kind of payattention, I mean, gosh, I
learned so much.
You're going to be telling meto shut up in a second, but this
morning I think I woke up and Iwas.
I was focusing on somethingthat happened yesterday with my
husband.
I was like why was I thinkingthat way, you know, and just
(46:33):
learning how you know kind ofstuff that I'm charging him with
?
That really is my own stuff,you know.
It's just all beautiful.
Mikita (46:42):
I love that you said that you're loving learning to
love all of you, because that issuch a beautiful experience to
love everything.
I'm a little clumsy.
Everybody that knows me knowsit.
I'm going to drop something,spill something.
It's going to happen.
I used to be embarrassed aboutit.
Now it's just like, oh well, ithappened, it's going to happen,
(47:04):
it's okay.
So I think it's so amazing tolove every piece of you and just
have grace and laugh at thelessons and move forward with it
.
So tell everyone how they canconnect with you If they want to
know more about your coachingand how you can help them to get
(47:24):
rid of their debt and move intoa place of abundance versus
scarcity.
Camille (47:31):
Yeah.
So this, this really is my workof passion.
I love working with women,professional women.
I feel like you know, when uswomen have our money together
and we're confident about it, weknow what we're doing.
Our families benefit from itBecause of how it's transformed
(47:51):
my giving.
I didn't realize I'd be able togive in ways like this and
influence things that areimportant to me, like education,
for instance.
We can change our communities,so I think this is really
important.
Folks can reach me at Instagram.
It's at coach underscore, myunderscore, personal underscore,
(48:16):
finance or at the website HTTPScoach personal finance dot com.
Or email me, camille, at coachpersonal finance dot com.
Those are all ways to reach you.
I'm on Facebook Coast PersonalFinance.
Mikita (48:39):
I'm out there and don't be upset if you didn't have your
pen and pencil ready.
All that information is goingto be available for you in the
show notes so you can connectwith Camille and stop having
shame about your finances.
We've all been there, we'vedone it and we're all on a
journey to do better, so you'renot alone.
Camille (48:59):
Absolutely, and I'd love for anybody who's
interested to book a sales callso I can talk about how
one-on-one coaching can help inyour financial journey.
Mikita (49:07):
Yeah, yes.
Well, thank you so much forjust coming on and sharing your
knowledge with us.
This has been an amazingconversation.
Camille (49:18):
Thank you, makita, thank you so much.
Mikita (49:21):
All right, all right, you guys.
That is all the tea that wehave to spill today, but guess
what?
You can join me each and everyTuesday for more delicious hot
tea.
Until next time, namaste.
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