February 8, 2026 • 27 mins
We share a practical playbook for turning in‑person events into low‑pressure business development, especially for introverts. Mindset, prep, and simple conversation moves replace scripts and force with curiosity and follow‑through.
• reframing networking as a business development call
• doing targeted pre‑event research and LinkedIn warmups
• arriving early to make first conversations easy
• wearing subtle conversation cues to invite openers
• asking “what brings you here?” instead of “what do you do?”
• skipping jargon and elevator pitches for plain, short hooks
• using names to build rapport and attention
• being remembered by giving helpful, relevant value
• planning a clear give and a clear get for follow‑ups
• creating reasons to reconnect and sustain momentum
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Welcome to Tiny Market.
I'm Serena Off Block.
This show is made for soloconsultants who want to get
booked out without burning out.
If you've ever thought, I justwant this to feel easier, you're
not alone.
Around here, we focus on simple,sustainable growth that actually
fits into your life.
So growth feels doable insteadof overwhelming.
(00:55):
Uh, can you introduce yourselfto the audience?
SPEAKER_01 (00:59):
Hey, Sarah, Connor Camin, uh Irishman speaks here.
And as you can gather, I've beenworking on my Chicago accent for
27 years now.
Nearly nailed it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:10):
So close.
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
But then primarily I work with organizations to
improve the people, performance,and productivity uh with a
smile.
And what I promise my clients isthat after I've worked with them
or after I've done a keynote,they'll be leaving with a smile
in the face, with a spring inthe step, and with some
(01:31):
memorable, actionable takeawaysto achieve the objectives that I
have been brought in to helpthem achieve.
SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Yeah, it's so funny that you are local to me.
Yesterday we we discovered thaton the pre-call where I
definitely, you know, assumedyou're in Ireland when Irishman
speaks, but you're only like 40minutes from me.
SPEAKER_01 (01:53):
Red right, yeah, yeah.
Still working on the Chicagoaccent.
SPEAKER_00 (01:57):
I've nailed it.
I've been working on it sinceBrian.
SPEAKER_01 (02:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
All right.
Today we are talking aboutnetworking techniques you can
use as an introvert.
And specifically, we're focusingin on those in-person events
that are a little bit harder toget out of your comfort zone
when you're I think that Ifirmly land right on the line
(02:23):
between introvert and extrovert.
And it depends on my mood thatday on if I'm killing a
networking event in person or ifI'm hiding in a corner.
So this will be helpful for metoo.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour techniques.
So you sign up.
I'm me.
I signed up, and I'm like, ohcrap, tonight is that networking
(02:46):
event.
I really don't want to go.
What's the first thing I shoulddo?
SPEAKER_01 (02:50):
Well, I think the first thing you should go to do
if you've got that kind of amindset is say to yourself, I'm
not going to go to a networkingevent.
And you're probably saying,What?
We're talking about networking.
So, what I suggest is thatforget about going to a
networking event.
Go to the event that is built asa networking event, but treat it
(03:12):
as a business development callor as a sales call.
So if I've got the mindset ofI'm going to go to a network
event and oh, saying to my mydarling wife, I'm going to a
network event, and she kind ofmight say, Oh, another one.
But if I say I'm going to abusiness development call or a
sales call, I get good luck.
Okay?
(03:33):
And it is a it is a mind shift,and it's how you then walk into
the room.
You're not walking into the roomknowing, I am here on a sales
call or on a businessdevelopment call, and you react
differently, you interact alittle bit more differently, I
think, than another networkingevent.
So that's I think the firstpoint I would make.
(03:55):
So if you're feeling unsureabout going to that networking
event, you're right.
Don't go to it, but go to asales card.
SPEAKER_00 (04:01):
Okay.
I love that that mindset shift.
Because they do they you go intoit sometimes when you're just
not in the mood and thinkingthis is gonna be a waste of time
by even doing that.
SPEAKER_01 (04:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:14):
But else call that's always worth your time.
SPEAKER_01 (04:18):
Yeah, yeah.
And I kind of like you, I'm onthe boards off Chicago, and I go
into a fair few networkingevents in Chicago.
It's sometimes about saying abit like you, ah, but then I
said, Connor, this is businessdevelopment.
And if I go in with thatmindset, it does make a
difference.
SPEAKER_00 (04:35):
Yeah, that makes sense.
I'm gonna have to, after thecall, have to get those the
names of the networking eventsyou're going to or business
development events you're goingto, because I just gave up on.
SPEAKER_01 (04:49):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (04:50):
Okay, so I signed up for it.
I've changed my mind.
So I'm okay, this is about bizdev, this is about sales.
What next?
I get there in a no, it isn'tright.
SPEAKER_01 (05:02):
Well, actually, before you get there, Sarah, if
you have the opportunity to seewho is going to be attending the
meeting.
So let's say you're going to alocal Chamber of Commerce
meeting.
What you could do there ispossibly have a quick scan
through some of the members ofthat chamber of commerce, see if
there's a few of them who mightbe particularly interesting
(05:24):
target markets for you toconnect with, do a small little
bit of research on them so thatif you do get the chance to meet
them at the chamber meeting, youwould be able to have a
connection and a conversationwith them.
They're kind of saying whoa,this person is clued in.
So if you have the opportunityto do relevant research to help
you connect with the potentialpeople, do that.
(05:47):
Now, that doesn't always apply,obviously, but there are times
when you can do that.
So once we've done that, so nowwe're deciding we're going on a
business development call.
I've done some research.
The next thing, and I think thisis critical for you if you're an
introvert, be one of the firstpeople in the room.
I think what happens, mostintroverts is that oh, I'd
(06:08):
better go into this.
They hesitate about going, Idon't want to be there early.
Then when they go there, themeeting is on 30, already on 30
minutes.
You go in and there's a wholephalanx of people there, and you
kind of say, Who do I talk to?
I don't know how to break intoany group.
If you're the first person inthe room, the second person in
the room has got to come talkingto you.
(06:29):
If you're the first person orthe second person in the room,
the third or the fourth personin the room is gonna come
speaking to you.
So you're creating an easyenvironment for you to start a
conversation.
SPEAKER_00 (06:40):
I love that.
And I just want to pause therefor a second and talk about
those two points.
So, one, looking up who's gonnabe there beforehand is so smart.
And check to see if they're onLinkedIn, connect with them
ahead of time, create apersonalized message that says,
Hey, I'm going to that eventtoo.
Do you have any heads up onwhat's going on, what it's like?
(07:01):
It's my first time, somethinglike that.
So you can pre-startconversations in maybe a warmer
environment or somewhere whereyou feel more comfortable.
And then when you see them,they're not cold to you anymore.
You've had that littleconversation.
SPEAKER_01 (07:17):
Absolutely.
Because I always make thecomments.
Uh good speaker friend of mine,I haven't said years ago, and I
repeat it.
It's better to be interestedthan interesting.
unknown (07:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:29):
Because if I'm speaking to you and I'm
interested in you, you arepaying attention.
If I'm saying somethinginteresting, well, maybe there's
another 10 other people who saidother interesting things, but
it's not immediately connectingwith you.
It's better to be interestedthan interesting.
So, in one sense, the better wayto have a networking
(07:51):
conversation is to have theother person asking you
questions and almost doing moreof the conversation based on
your questions to them.
SPEAKER_00 (08:03):
And I think that that advice really speaks to the
strong suit that a lot ofintroverts have, too, because
they don't talking aboutthemselves all the time.
They're really good at askingquestions to put that spotlight
on the other person.
As a part-time introvert, I'llcall it.
Yeah.
(08:23):
That's what I do.
I am really good at askingquestions to keep the focus on
someone else other than me.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I and it does work because whenI'm in a networking event, the
most important person at thenetwork event is me.
And similarly, when you'rethere, the most important person
for you is you.
But you've got to make sure thatthe person you're speaking with
is interested in you.
And the best way for them to beinterested in you is that you're
(08:53):
interested in them.
It's kind of paradoxical, but Ithink that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's pause there for one secondbecause I also want to just
(10:01):
spotlight something you said inpoint number two, where coming a
little bit early and being thatfirst person, the person they
have to approach because you'rethe first one there.
Another benefit of that is youstart to practice a little bit
those conversations, and itbecomes easier for you to talk
to the next person and the nextperson, because in a low
(10:22):
pressure environment, when it'sjust the two of you, you already
had that conversation.
So each sequential one will geteasier and easier.
SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
Absolutely.
And kind of a in a sense of kindof greasing the axle kind of
thing.
The more comfortable you get,the more comfortable you're
going to get.
SPEAKER_00 (10:40):
Yeah, that's exactly it.
So when you are interestedinstead of interesting, how do
you approach that conversationabout what you do to make it a
little bit, well, truly a bizdev or a sales conversation?
(11:02):
How do you make that transitionwhen you're having a normal
conversation and keeping themthe star of the show?
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Well, I think if you can have opening phrases to a
conversation that are notbusiness related, then you can
have good business-relatedconversation.
So by by that I mean that ifthere's some way that you can
start a conversation with theperson you're networking with
that is uh a little bitinteresting or different.
(11:32):
We spoke yesterday about uhforward in the pre-call, the
fact that I was a ManchesterUnited supporter, and the ball
over my head there is a signball from Manchester United from
1998, I think it is.
But the example I quoted youyesterday was that I was at the
spin cycling class last week,got up, finished it up, and a
lady came up over to me and shesaid that you guys didn't do so
(11:54):
well last night.
And I kind of looked, rememberedI had a Man United shirt on me.
But what uh the lesson there isthat she saw something that she
identified with her husband andson were rabid Man United fans,
as I now understand your husbandand son.
SPEAKER_00 (12:08):
He actually corrected me.
It's Man City that they're fansof.
He's actually they're my enemy.
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
That's the end of this conversation.
Sorry.
Sorry, I'm gone.
No, I am leaving.
I am leaving now.
I am leaving.
Good God all my.
SPEAKER_00 (12:23):
No, I told him about you.
He was like, I know.
SPEAKER_01 (12:28):
Oh, but that it's quite serious, you know.
This is actually a good littleexample of it, you see, because
they were now able to have alittle bit of fun about
something that is not businessrelated and that then will allow
us to have a uh get them moreease into the business
conversation.
So, for instance, the otherexample I would give you is that
I cut last week after the theBears beat the the Packers, if I
(12:51):
was a Packers fan, I woulddefinitely have gone to every
single business networking eventwearing a Packers shirt or a
Packers tie.
Because what happens, the firstthing that would be happening is
people would be saying, ah, youcouldn't beat us, or there'll be
some reference like that.
If you're going to a networkingevent, is there something you
can wear that might be aconversation starter?
(13:13):
Is it a college alum pin or atie?
Is it if you're a Cubs supporteror Cubs fan, is it a Cubs jacket
or a tie or something like that?
That allows the other person tostart a conversation with you.
And similarly, if you start aconversation with someone else
and I see your husband and he'swearing a Manchester City shirt,
(13:35):
well, I won't talk with him, butbut I will say to the person
next to him, you look like anice guy, not like the person
here is wearing the Man Cityshirt, okay?
No, that's obviouslyexaggeration, but I think it's a
really powerful little trick.
So wear something that is eitherdistinctive or allows for a
(13:56):
conversation starter, or whenyou see someone wearing
something similar that allowsfor a conversation starter,
that's the conversation starter.
SPEAKER_00 (14:04):
Yeah, so that is perfect if you don't know how to
start a conversation.
You make it a little bit easier,you give them a prompt with a
physical cue on what you guyscan talk about.
SPEAKER_01 (14:21):
Yeah, yeah.
So if that conversation starts,then I think after a short
little bit you can say somethinglike, Well, uh, what brings you
here?
Which is kind of a very generalquestion, but I think it's the
better way to start it ratherthan what do you do?
And uh then you can have yourlittle short, I hate elevator
pitches, but you have maybe justa short one-sentence response, I
(14:45):
think, that allows the person toask the question again.
So if I was at an event and Iwas asked the question, what
brings you here?
I might say something, well, I'mactually I actually work with
organizations that want toimprove people, performance, and
productivity with a smile, and Ithought this would be a nice
event to attend.
Stop there.
(15:06):
Now, what's gonna happen?
The person I'm speaking to isgoing to ask, Well, how do you
do that?
And then that allows theconversation to go again.
So I think this theory of theelevator pitch is I just don't
think it makes a whole lot ofsense.
And from my own experience, uhSarah, uh, as I think we
(15:27):
mentioned yesterday, I do a lotof work with people who are in
job search.
No, it's not an income stream ofmine, it's just a a real passion
of mine.
And I'm often at events whereyou might have 20 people in a
networking room trying tolooking for jobs, and they go
around the room and they all dotheir 30-second networking
pitch.
(15:47):
After the second person, no oneis listening.
SPEAKER_00 (15:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:52):
It's just wallpaper.
So I do suggest that if you'rein conversation with someone,
try to pull back on the30-second pitch and just say
something that really encouragesthe other person to say, Well,
how do you do that?
Or what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00 (16:09):
Yeah, that is a really good point.
So I I did this 30-dayexperiment where I did 40
networking calls in 30 days, andI tracked all my progress.
And that's one thing that Inoticed is that when people have
this prepared, overly polishedelevator speech, it's so
(16:35):
ingenuine, it's hard to connectwith them.
It feels like you are justanother task on their list that
they're crossing off.
And having maybe a story or someor some sort of prompt that
would get someone to say, Well,how do you do that?
What what's your process?
That would be a lot moreinteresting.
(16:58):
It's an interaction, it's it's aprompt and response over a
speech.
SPEAKER_01 (17:04):
Right.
Yeah.
And the other thing that isbeing over overly polished is
that I remember, as I said, do afair bit of coaching with the
job seekers.
I was doing one over in OakBrook a few years back, and
someone in the financialservices industry gave me an
elevator pitch.
(17:24):
And I said, Look, I'm in acoaching environment here.
I haven't got a clue, what yousaid.
Because what happens with a lotof the elevator pitches is they
use the industry jargon, whichis only going to be relevant to
the person in the industry thatknows that.
The other 95% of people haven'tgot a clue what it is, and
(17:44):
they're walking away and saying,I don't know what he does.
SPEAKER_00 (17:47):
Yeah, I'm American.
So what is that?
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just that the level ofgobbledygook that's used in
elevator pictures isextraordinary at times.
SPEAKER_00 (18:00):
Yeah, I've that is very accurate.
You write your elevator speech,and it ends up being so
saturating your message so much,it's almost you can't understand
at all what that means anymore.
It's so much jargon and just youcentered.
(18:21):
So your prompt response advicebetter.
Is there anything else we shouldknow for networking when you're
introverted?
SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
Uh yes, I think the uh question you should ask
yourself is what do you want thepeople you're interacting with
to say about you after you haveleft?
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (18:44):
You ma you mentioned that yesterday, and I was like,
yes, let's talk about that.
So how do you do that?
SPEAKER_01 (18:52):
Well, I think I I think the answer should be that.
So if I meet you and have a chatwith you, you've met another 15
people.
What I want you to rememberabout me is that hey, he was
very helpful.
Okay, just just that answer.
Uh, because if I remember thathe was very helpful or she was
(19:15):
very helpful, but I'm going toremember other things about the
person as well.
But if you give me thegobbledygook elevator pitch that
I don't remember anything about,I'm not going to remember
anything about you.
So I think when you're at anetworking event, if you can
offer some deliberate help oradvice, relevant advice to the
people you're speaking with,well, they're going to be way
(19:37):
more interested again in you.
They're going to appreciate youmore and they are going to
remember you.
Whereas if I just spend my timesaying what I do and how
wonderful I am and why peoplehire me, etc.
I'm not.
I just turn on after a while.
So if you can find somebody atthe network event that will
(19:59):
allow the person to say, he orshe was really helpful.
They're going to remember you.
They're going to take a call thenext time, they're going to
connect with you on LinkedIn.
SPEAKER_00 (20:08):
Okay.
So that just made me think youcan kind of reverse engineer
that conversation a little bit.
You to be interested rather thaninteresting.
So ask questions that would pullout some of the reasons that
they're there.
What are the challenges they'regoing through so you can be
helpful and stand out as thatperson who wasn't trying to get,
(20:30):
get, get, but give, give, give.
SPEAKER_01 (20:33):
Yeah, yeah.
And if you go back to the pointwe did about research earlier.
So I go to this networking eventand I realize there's a few
people there from let's sayindustry, let's say they're in
the healthcare environment orsomething like that, and a
specific section of healthcare.
You actually get to meet them,but maybe when you've done your
research, you might actually doone of two things.
(20:55):
One is trying to understand whatthe challenges that that
industry has.
And also, is there somethingonline or something published
that you might be able toreference to the person and say,
all right, hey, by the way, Iactually saw a really good
article yesterday on the highcost of insurance in Illinois.
Pass it on to you.
(21:15):
So what you now do is you'reable to get that person's
contact details the followingday or after you leave the
meeting, you're able to emailthem with that detail as well.
So you're coming across as beinga resource, a helpful resource
to that person.
SPEAKER_00 (21:31):
Okay.
That just made me think that.
So some of the techniques that Iteach inside niche networker,
which is a mission we do insideof my program, is around, well,
all of it is about networking.
But one thing is when you'regoing on a networking or a
prospecting call, be preparedwith a get and a give.
So do a little research and seewhat would they need from me?
(21:54):
What would be helpful for them?
And be prepared with that thingthat you'd really like to
support them with.
Maybe it's connecting them witha community, for example.
And the other thing is beprepared with a get, because
typically when you help someone,the other person is, well, how
(22:16):
can I help you?
What can I do to help you?
And you never know what to askin the moment.
So just having that preparedahead of time, what would I ask
if they prompted that?
unknown (22:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:30):
And then in fact, what you were raising is the
most important question you canask at a networking event.
What can I do to help them?
Yes.
That is if you, after having aconversation with someone, have
not asked that question, you'remissing a beat.
SPEAKER_00 (22:46):
Yes.
Yes, 100%.
Oh, and the last thing that Iwanted to connect is you said
have something that you can givethem afterwards.
So it would prompt continuingthat conversation.
That's something you could alsodo in these prospecting calls
too.
What is a reason that you wouldneed to have a conversation
again?
Maybe you invite them to anopportunity to speak in a
(23:07):
community.
Maybe you're introducing them tosomething, but have something
available to deepen thatrelationship so you have a
reason to connect again.
SPEAKER_01 (23:17):
Absolutely.
Because a one off conversation,you you've got to find be able
to sow the seeds to be able tokeep going with that
conversation.
The other point, Sarah, that Ithink is really important, and I
strongly believe in this.
The most impactful word that youcan use when you're speaking
with me is Connor.
(23:39):
The most impactful word I thinkwhen I'm speaking with you is
Sarah.
And it I the when you're inconversation with someone at a
networking event or a businesscall, at least once or twice in
that call address themspecifically with their name.
It creates a visceralconnection.
(24:01):
And I am absolutely convincedthe most impactful word in any
conversation is the person'sname.
SPEAKER_00 (24:06):
Yeah, I can see that.
When someone says my name, itdoes draw my attention because a
lot of times it's conversation,conversation, back to back to
back.
You might not even remember whatmy name is when you're talking
to me.
So the fact that you did and youactually used it will draw me
back in if I drift it at all.
SPEAKER_01 (24:29):
When I'm on the business calls here, so uh most
of them tend to be uh virtualnow.
If I'm registered, a telephonecall, I'm making a telephone
call to a client or a potentialclient, I will actually write
their name down and uh redmarker on a piece of paper, put
that down the desk in front ofme.
I stand when I'm making thebusiness call and I make sure
that once or twice in thatconversation I drop their name
(24:53):
and does help to build just everso slightly another little way
to build that link between youand the the client or the person
you're networking with.
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
Yeah, that's really smart.
Okay, so we're at time.
So how can people connect withyou, work with you, find you
online?
SPEAKER_01 (25:16):
Right.
Well, uh what I would say isthat for your husband, okay, if
he wants to know we're good forpolitics, and stop watching that
rubbish Manchester City.
Uh but the brand is IrishmanSpeaks, all one word, Irishman
Speaks.
It's Connor Caneen, as you cansee, their camera is only with
one N.
My parents could not afford twoN's back in Ireland.
(25:39):
So yeah, all of my LinkedInactivity, Twitter, X, Instagram,
TikTok, etc., is under IrishmanSpeaks, all one word.
But I speak a lot toassociations and organizations
that want to improve the people,performance, and productivity
with a smile.
I do a lot of work speaking tojob seekers, not an income
(26:01):
stream.
I've got a number of uh jobseeker videos up on my YouTube
channel as well under IrishmanSpeaks.
And there's a playlist there forjob seekers as well if there are
people who want to have a lookat that also.
SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Brilliant.
So check that out.
And I know that there areassociations that listen to this
show, so pay attention,associations that are listening
right now.
SPEAKER_01 (26:25):
All right.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
Thank you for joining me.
SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
There it's been an absolute pleasure.
Stay warm up there inBarrington.
SPEAKER_00 (26:30):
You stay warm too.
SPEAKER_01 (26:33):
All right, cheers.
SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
Bye.
If this episode made things feela little more doable, I'd love
to help you take the next stepwith the booked out blueprint.
It's a practical, low pressuresession to clarify your offers,
your marketing, and whatactually moves the needle.
You can book yours through thelink in the show notes.
You don't have to figure it outalone.
Welcome to Tiny Market.
I'm Serena Off Block.
This show is made for soloconsultants who want to get
booked out without burning out.
If you've ever thought, I justwant this to feel easier, you're
not alone.
Around here, we focus on simple,sustainable growth that actually
fits into your life.
So growth feels doable insteadof overwhelming.
(00:55):
Uh, can you introduce yourselfto the audience?
SPEAKER_01 (00:59):
Hey, Sarah, Connor Camin, uh Irishman speaks here.
And as you can gather, I've beenworking on my Chicago accent for
27 years now.
Nearly nailed it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:10):
So close.
SPEAKER_01 (01:11):
But then primarily I work with organizations to
improve the people, performance,and productivity uh with a
smile.
And what I promise my clients isthat after I've worked with them
or after I've done a keynote,they'll be leaving with a smile
in the face, with a spring inthe step, and with some
(01:31):
memorable, actionable takeawaysto achieve the objectives that I
have been brought in to helpthem achieve.
SPEAKER_00 (01:37):
Yeah, it's so funny that you are local to me.
Yesterday we we discovered thaton the pre-call where I
definitely, you know, assumedyou're in Ireland when Irishman
speaks, but you're only like 40minutes from me.
SPEAKER_01 (01:53):
Red right, yeah, yeah.
Still working on the Chicagoaccent.
SPEAKER_00 (01:57):
I've nailed it.
I've been working on it sinceBrian.
SPEAKER_01 (02:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
All right.
Today we are talking aboutnetworking techniques you can
use as an introvert.
And specifically, we're focusingin on those in-person events
that are a little bit harder toget out of your comfort zone
when you're I think that Ifirmly land right on the line
(02:23):
between introvert and extrovert.
And it depends on my mood thatday on if I'm killing a
networking event in person or ifI'm hiding in a corner.
So this will be helpful for metoo.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyour techniques.
So you sign up.
I'm me.
I signed up, and I'm like, ohcrap, tonight is that networking
(02:46):
event.
I really don't want to go.
What's the first thing I shoulddo?
SPEAKER_01 (02:50):
Well, I think the first thing you should go to do
if you've got that kind of amindset is say to yourself, I'm
not going to go to a networkingevent.
And you're probably saying,What?
We're talking about networking.
So, what I suggest is thatforget about going to a
networking event.
Go to the event that is built asa networking event, but treat it
(03:12):
as a business development callor as a sales call.
So if I've got the mindset ofI'm going to go to a network
event and oh, saying to my mydarling wife, I'm going to a
network event, and she kind ofmight say, Oh, another one.
But if I say I'm going to abusiness development call or a
sales call, I get good luck.
Okay?
(03:33):
And it is a it is a mind shift,and it's how you then walk into
the room.
You're not walking into the roomknowing, I am here on a sales
call or on a businessdevelopment call, and you react
differently, you interact alittle bit more differently, I
think, than another networkingevent.
So that's I think the firstpoint I would make.
(03:55):
So if you're feeling unsureabout going to that networking
event, you're right.
Don't go to it, but go to asales card.
SPEAKER_00 (04:01):
Okay.
I love that that mindset shift.
Because they do they you go intoit sometimes when you're just
not in the mood and thinkingthis is gonna be a waste of time
by even doing that.
SPEAKER_01 (04:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:14):
But else call that's always worth your time.
SPEAKER_01 (04:18):
Yeah, yeah.
And I kind of like you, I'm onthe boards off Chicago, and I go
into a fair few networkingevents in Chicago.
It's sometimes about saying abit like you, ah, but then I
said, Connor, this is businessdevelopment.
And if I go in with thatmindset, it does make a
difference.
SPEAKER_00 (04:35):
Yeah, that makes sense.
I'm gonna have to, after thecall, have to get those the
names of the networking eventsyou're going to or business
development events you're goingto, because I just gave up on.
SPEAKER_01 (04:49):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (04:50):
Okay, so I signed up for it.
I've changed my mind.
So I'm okay, this is about bizdev, this is about sales.
What next?
I get there in a no, it isn'tright.
SPEAKER_01 (05:02):
Well, actually, before you get there, Sarah, if
you have the opportunity to seewho is going to be attending the
meeting.
So let's say you're going to alocal Chamber of Commerce
meeting.
What you could do there ispossibly have a quick scan
through some of the members ofthat chamber of commerce, see if
there's a few of them who mightbe particularly interesting
(05:24):
target markets for you toconnect with, do a small little
bit of research on them so thatif you do get the chance to meet
them at the chamber meeting, youwould be able to have a
connection and a conversationwith them.
They're kind of saying whoa,this person is clued in.
So if you have the opportunityto do relevant research to help
you connect with the potentialpeople, do that.
(05:47):
Now, that doesn't always apply,obviously, but there are times
when you can do that.
So once we've done that, so nowwe're deciding we're going on a
business development call.
I've done some research.
The next thing, and I think thisis critical for you if you're an
introvert, be one of the firstpeople in the room.
I think what happens, mostintroverts is that oh, I'd
(06:08):
better go into this.
They hesitate about going, Idon't want to be there early.
Then when they go there, themeeting is on 30, already on 30
minutes.
You go in and there's a wholephalanx of people there, and you
kind of say, Who do I talk to?
I don't know how to break intoany group.
If you're the first person inthe room, the second person in
the room has got to come talkingto you.
(06:29):
If you're the first person orthe second person in the room,
the third or the fourth personin the room is gonna come
speaking to you.
So you're creating an easyenvironment for you to start a
conversation.
SPEAKER_00 (06:40):
I love that.
And I just want to pause therefor a second and talk about
those two points.
So, one, looking up who's gonnabe there beforehand is so smart.
And check to see if they're onLinkedIn, connect with them
ahead of time, create apersonalized message that says,
Hey, I'm going to that eventtoo.
Do you have any heads up onwhat's going on, what it's like?
(07:01):
It's my first time, somethinglike that.
So you can pre-startconversations in maybe a warmer
environment or somewhere whereyou feel more comfortable.
And then when you see them,they're not cold to you anymore.
You've had that littleconversation.
SPEAKER_01 (07:17):
Absolutely.
Because I always make thecomments.
Uh good speaker friend of mine,I haven't said years ago, and I
repeat it.
It's better to be interestedthan interesting.
unknown (07:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (07:29):
Because if I'm speaking to you and I'm
interested in you, you arepaying attention.
If I'm saying somethinginteresting, well, maybe there's
another 10 other people who saidother interesting things, but
it's not immediately connectingwith you.
It's better to be interestedthan interesting.
So, in one sense, the better wayto have a networking
(07:51):
conversation is to have theother person asking you
questions and almost doing moreof the conversation based on
your questions to them.
SPEAKER_00 (08:03):
And I think that that advice really speaks to the
strong suit that a lot ofintroverts have, too, because
they don't talking aboutthemselves all the time.
They're really good at askingquestions to put that spotlight
on the other person.
As a part-time introvert, I'llcall it.
Yeah.
(08:23):
That's what I do.
I am really good at askingquestions to keep the focus on
someone else other than me.
SPEAKER_01 (08:30):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I and it does work because whenI'm in a networking event, the
most important person at thenetwork event is me.
And similarly, when you'rethere, the most important person
for you is you.
But you've got to make sure thatthe person you're speaking with
is interested in you.
And the best way for them to beinterested in you is that you're
(08:53):
interested in them.
It's kind of paradoxical, but Ithink that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00 (08:57):
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's pause there for one secondbecause I also want to just
(10:01):
spotlight something you said inpoint number two, where coming a
little bit early and being thatfirst person, the person they
have to approach because you'rethe first one there.
Another benefit of that is youstart to practice a little bit
those conversations, and itbecomes easier for you to talk
to the next person and the nextperson, because in a low
(10:22):
pressure environment, when it'sjust the two of you, you already
had that conversation.
So each sequential one will geteasier and easier.
SPEAKER_01 (10:32):
Absolutely.
And kind of a in a sense of kindof greasing the axle kind of
thing.
The more comfortable you get,the more comfortable you're
going to get.
SPEAKER_00 (10:40):
Yeah, that's exactly it.
So when you are interestedinstead of interesting, how do
you approach that conversationabout what you do to make it a
little bit, well, truly a bizdev or a sales conversation?
(11:02):
How do you make that transitionwhen you're having a normal
conversation and keeping themthe star of the show?
SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Well, I think if you can have opening phrases to a
conversation that are notbusiness related, then you can
have good business-relatedconversation.
So by by that I mean that ifthere's some way that you can
start a conversation with theperson you're networking with
that is uh a little bitinteresting or different.
(11:32):
We spoke yesterday about uhforward in the pre-call, the
fact that I was a ManchesterUnited supporter, and the ball
over my head there is a signball from Manchester United from
1998, I think it is.
But the example I quoted youyesterday was that I was at the
spin cycling class last week,got up, finished it up, and a
lady came up over to me and shesaid that you guys didn't do so
(11:54):
well last night.
And I kind of looked, rememberedI had a Man United shirt on me.
But what uh the lesson there isthat she saw something that she
identified with her husband andson were rabid Man United fans,
as I now understand your husbandand son.
SPEAKER_00 (12:08):
He actually corrected me.
It's Man City that they're fansof.
He's actually they're my enemy.
SPEAKER_01 (12:13):
That's the end of this conversation.
Sorry.
Sorry, I'm gone.
No, I am leaving.
I am leaving now.
I am leaving.
Good God all my.
SPEAKER_00 (12:23):
No, I told him about you.
He was like, I know.
SPEAKER_01 (12:28):
Oh, but that it's quite serious, you know.
This is actually a good littleexample of it, you see, because
they were now able to have alittle bit of fun about
something that is not businessrelated and that then will allow
us to have a uh get them moreease into the business
conversation.
So, for instance, the otherexample I would give you is that
I cut last week after the theBears beat the the Packers, if I
(12:51):
was a Packers fan, I woulddefinitely have gone to every
single business networking eventwearing a Packers shirt or a
Packers tie.
Because what happens, the firstthing that would be happening is
people would be saying, ah, youcouldn't beat us, or there'll be
some reference like that.
If you're going to a networkingevent, is there something you
can wear that might be aconversation starter?
(13:13):
Is it a college alum pin or atie?
Is it if you're a Cubs supporteror Cubs fan, is it a Cubs jacket
or a tie or something like that?
That allows the other person tostart a conversation with you.
And similarly, if you start aconversation with someone else
and I see your husband and he'swearing a Manchester City shirt,
(13:35):
well, I won't talk with him, butbut I will say to the person
next to him, you look like anice guy, not like the person
here is wearing the Man Cityshirt, okay?
No, that's obviouslyexaggeration, but I think it's a
really powerful little trick.
So wear something that is eitherdistinctive or allows for a
(13:56):
conversation starter, or whenyou see someone wearing
something similar that allowsfor a conversation starter,
that's the conversation starter.
SPEAKER_00 (14:04):
Yeah, so that is perfect if you don't know how to
start a conversation.
You make it a little bit easier,you give them a prompt with a
physical cue on what you guyscan talk about.
SPEAKER_01 (14:21):
Yeah, yeah.
So if that conversation starts,then I think after a short
little bit you can say somethinglike, Well, uh, what brings you
here?
Which is kind of a very generalquestion, but I think it's the
better way to start it ratherthan what do you do?
And uh then you can have yourlittle short, I hate elevator
pitches, but you have maybe justa short one-sentence response, I
(14:45):
think, that allows the person toask the question again.
So if I was at an event and Iwas asked the question, what
brings you here?
I might say something, well, I'mactually I actually work with
organizations that want toimprove people, performance, and
productivity with a smile, and Ithought this would be a nice
event to attend.
Stop there.
(15:06):
Now, what's gonna happen?
The person I'm speaking to isgoing to ask, Well, how do you
do that?
And then that allows theconversation to go again.
So I think this theory of theelevator pitch is I just don't
think it makes a whole lot ofsense.
And from my own experience, uhSarah, uh, as I think we
(15:27):
mentioned yesterday, I do a lotof work with people who are in
job search.
No, it's not an income stream ofmine, it's just a a real passion
of mine.
And I'm often at events whereyou might have 20 people in a
networking room trying tolooking for jobs, and they go
around the room and they all dotheir 30-second networking
pitch.
(15:47):
After the second person, no oneis listening.
SPEAKER_00 (15:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:52):
It's just wallpaper.
So I do suggest that if you'rein conversation with someone,
try to pull back on the30-second pitch and just say
something that really encouragesthe other person to say, Well,
how do you do that?
Or what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00 (16:09):
Yeah, that is a really good point.
So I I did this 30-dayexperiment where I did 40
networking calls in 30 days, andI tracked all my progress.
And that's one thing that Inoticed is that when people have
this prepared, overly polishedelevator speech, it's so
(16:35):
ingenuine, it's hard to connectwith them.
It feels like you are justanother task on their list that
they're crossing off.
And having maybe a story or someor some sort of prompt that
would get someone to say, Well,how do you do that?
What what's your process?
That would be a lot moreinteresting.
(16:58):
It's an interaction, it's it's aprompt and response over a
speech.
SPEAKER_01 (17:04):
Right.
Yeah.
And the other thing that isbeing over overly polished is
that I remember, as I said, do afair bit of coaching with the
job seekers.
I was doing one over in OakBrook a few years back, and
someone in the financialservices industry gave me an
elevator pitch.
(17:24):
And I said, Look, I'm in acoaching environment here.
I haven't got a clue, what yousaid.
Because what happens with a lotof the elevator pitches is they
use the industry jargon, whichis only going to be relevant to
the person in the industry thatknows that.
The other 95% of people haven'tgot a clue what it is, and
(17:44):
they're walking away and saying,I don't know what he does.
SPEAKER_00 (17:47):
Yeah, I'm American.
So what is that?
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's just that the level ofgobbledygook that's used in
elevator pictures isextraordinary at times.
SPEAKER_00 (18:00):
Yeah, I've that is very accurate.
You write your elevator speech,and it ends up being so
saturating your message so much,it's almost you can't understand
at all what that means anymore.
It's so much jargon and just youcentered.
(18:21):
So your prompt response advicebetter.
Is there anything else we shouldknow for networking when you're
introverted?
SPEAKER_01 (18:30):
Uh yes, I think the uh question you should ask
yourself is what do you want thepeople you're interacting with
to say about you after you haveleft?
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (18:44):
You ma you mentioned that yesterday, and I was like,
yes, let's talk about that.
So how do you do that?
SPEAKER_01 (18:52):
Well, I think I I think the answer should be that.
So if I meet you and have a chatwith you, you've met another 15
people.
What I want you to rememberabout me is that hey, he was
very helpful.
Okay, just just that answer.
Uh, because if I remember thathe was very helpful or she was
(19:15):
very helpful, but I'm going toremember other things about the
person as well.
But if you give me thegobbledygook elevator pitch that
I don't remember anything about,I'm not going to remember
anything about you.
So I think when you're at anetworking event, if you can
offer some deliberate help oradvice, relevant advice to the
people you're speaking with,well, they're going to be way
(19:37):
more interested again in you.
They're going to appreciate youmore and they are going to
remember you.
Whereas if I just spend my timesaying what I do and how
wonderful I am and why peoplehire me, etc.
I'm not.
I just turn on after a while.
So if you can find somebody atthe network event that will
(19:59):
allow the person to say, he orshe was really helpful.
They're going to remember you.
They're going to take a call thenext time, they're going to
connect with you on LinkedIn.
SPEAKER_00 (20:08):
Okay.
So that just made me think youcan kind of reverse engineer
that conversation a little bit.
You to be interested rather thaninteresting.
So ask questions that would pullout some of the reasons that
they're there.
What are the challenges they'regoing through so you can be
helpful and stand out as thatperson who wasn't trying to get,
(20:30):
get, get, but give, give, give.
SPEAKER_01 (20:33):
Yeah, yeah.
And if you go back to the pointwe did about research earlier.
So I go to this networking eventand I realize there's a few
people there from let's sayindustry, let's say they're in
the healthcare environment orsomething like that, and a
specific section of healthcare.
You actually get to meet them,but maybe when you've done your
research, you might actually doone of two things.
(20:55):
One is trying to understand whatthe challenges that that
industry has.
And also, is there somethingonline or something published
that you might be able toreference to the person and say,
all right, hey, by the way, Iactually saw a really good
article yesterday on the highcost of insurance in Illinois.
Pass it on to you.
(21:15):
So what you now do is you'reable to get that person's
contact details the followingday or after you leave the
meeting, you're able to emailthem with that detail as well.
So you're coming across as beinga resource, a helpful resource
to that person.
SPEAKER_00 (21:31):
Okay.
That just made me think that.
So some of the techniques that Iteach inside niche networker,
which is a mission we do insideof my program, is around, well,
all of it is about networking.
But one thing is when you'regoing on a networking or a
prospecting call, be preparedwith a get and a give.
So do a little research and seewhat would they need from me?
(21:54):
What would be helpful for them?
And be prepared with that thingthat you'd really like to
support them with.
Maybe it's connecting them witha community, for example.
And the other thing is beprepared with a get, because
typically when you help someone,the other person is, well, how
(22:16):
can I help you?
What can I do to help you?
And you never know what to askin the moment.
So just having that preparedahead of time, what would I ask
if they prompted that?
unknown (22:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:30):
And then in fact, what you were raising is the
most important question you canask at a networking event.
What can I do to help them?
Yes.
That is if you, after having aconversation with someone, have
not asked that question, you'remissing a beat.
SPEAKER_00 (22:46):
Yes.
Yes, 100%.
Oh, and the last thing that Iwanted to connect is you said
have something that you can givethem afterwards.
So it would prompt continuingthat conversation.
That's something you could alsodo in these prospecting calls
too.
What is a reason that you wouldneed to have a conversation
again?
Maybe you invite them to anopportunity to speak in a
(23:07):
community.
Maybe you're introducing them tosomething, but have something
available to deepen thatrelationship so you have a
reason to connect again.
SPEAKER_01 (23:17):
Absolutely.
Because a one off conversation,you you've got to find be able
to sow the seeds to be able tokeep going with that
conversation.
The other point, Sarah, that Ithink is really important, and I
strongly believe in this.
The most impactful word that youcan use when you're speaking
with me is Connor.
(23:39):
The most impactful word I thinkwhen I'm speaking with you is
Sarah.
And it I the when you're inconversation with someone at a
networking event or a businesscall, at least once or twice in
that call address themspecifically with their name.
It creates a visceralconnection.
(24:01):
And I am absolutely convincedthe most impactful word in any
conversation is the person'sname.
SPEAKER_00 (24:06):
Yeah, I can see that.
When someone says my name, itdoes draw my attention because a
lot of times it's conversation,conversation, back to back to
back.
You might not even remember whatmy name is when you're talking
to me.
So the fact that you did and youactually used it will draw me
back in if I drift it at all.
SPEAKER_01 (24:29):
When I'm on the business calls here, so uh most
of them tend to be uh virtualnow.
If I'm registered, a telephonecall, I'm making a telephone
call to a client or a potentialclient, I will actually write
their name down and uh redmarker on a piece of paper, put
that down the desk in front ofme.
I stand when I'm making thebusiness call and I make sure
that once or twice in thatconversation I drop their name
(24:53):
and does help to build just everso slightly another little way
to build that link between youand the the client or the person
you're networking with.
SPEAKER_00 (25:04):
Yeah, that's really smart.
Okay, so we're at time.
So how can people connect withyou, work with you, find you
online?
SPEAKER_01 (25:16):
Right.
Well, uh what I would say isthat for your husband, okay, if
he wants to know we're good forpolitics, and stop watching that
rubbish Manchester City.
Uh but the brand is IrishmanSpeaks, all one word, Irishman
Speaks.
It's Connor Caneen, as you cansee, their camera is only with
one N.
My parents could not afford twoN's back in Ireland.
(25:39):
So yeah, all of my LinkedInactivity, Twitter, X, Instagram,
TikTok, etc., is under IrishmanSpeaks, all one word.
But I speak a lot toassociations and organizations
that want to improve the people,performance, and productivity
with a smile.
I do a lot of work speaking tojob seekers, not an income
(26:01):
stream.
I've got a number of uh jobseeker videos up on my YouTube
channel as well under IrishmanSpeaks.
And there's a playlist there forjob seekers as well if there are
people who want to have a lookat that also.
SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Brilliant.
So check that out.
And I know that there areassociations that listen to this
show, so pay attention,associations that are listening
right now.
SPEAKER_01 (26:25):
All right.
SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
Thank you for joining me.
SPEAKER_01 (26:27):
There it's been an absolute pleasure.
Stay warm up there inBarrington.
SPEAKER_00 (26:30):
You stay warm too.
SPEAKER_01 (26:33):
All right, cheers.
SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
Bye.
If this episode made things feela little more doable, I'd love
to help you take the next stepwith the booked out blueprint.
It's a practical, low pressuresession to clarify your offers,
your marketing, and whatactually moves the needle.
You can book yours through thelink in the show notes.
You don't have to figure it outalone.
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