October 27, 2025 • 52 mins
Welcome to The Power Lounge, your go-to space for engaging conversations with influential leaders. This episode features Amy Vaughan in conversation with Jewell Siebert, a retired Army colonel turned bestselling author and EFT practitioner. Jewell's unique blend of military experience and emotional wellness expertise is reshaping how women tackle high-pressure careers.
Jewell shares her journey from military life to mastering Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), a practice designed to manage stress and enhance confidence. Discover how tapping into this method can calm anxiety and help you face challenges with assurance.
Explore Jewell's personal transformation, learn about the nervous system's response to stress, and gain practical EFT techniques for your professional life. This episode offers valuable insights into the link between childhood experiences and emotional triggers, empowering you to build lasting self-confidence. Whether you're familiar with EFT or new to the concept, this conversation provides the tools to foster a more balanced and empowered self.
Jewell Siebert, based in San Antonio, TX, lives with her daughter and two playful black cats.
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction
00:10 - "Power Lounge: Empowerment & EFT"
05:31 - Stress Response and Survival Mode
09:41 - "Triggers, Nervous Systems, and Tapping"
13:04 - "Understanding Inner Child Trauma"
15:46 - Tapping Techniques for Imposter Syndrome
19:31 - Subtle Stress-Relief Techniques
24:09 - "The Second Arrow of Pain"
26:24 - Body Informs Brain Reaction
29:58 - "Feel, Process, Show Compassion"
33:20 - "Compartmentalizing and Leading Through Adversity"
35:18 - Emotional Regulation in Leadership
38:24 - Navigating Stress and Burnout Spectrum
42:14 - "Breaking Free from Unhealthy Patterns"
45:00 - "Science, Experience, and Skepticism"
50:52 - "Tapping for Calm and Clarity"
51:59 - "Podcast, Community, and Growth"
52:41 - Outro
Quotes:
"Real transformation starts when we allow ourselves to feel and make space for where we are."- Jewell Siebert
"By understanding our nervous system and listening to our bodies, we reclaim our power in overwhelming moments."- Amy Vaughan
Key Takeaways:
Breaking the Stigma of Stress Management
Understanding EFT: Tapping into Calm and Confidence
Healing Begins with the Inner Child
Embracing All Emotions—Even the Messy Ones
Practical Tools You Can Use Today
From Burnout to Breakthrough
Self-Compassion as Foundation
Connect with Jewell Siebert:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/Jewell-siebert-8a8986101/
Website: https://Jewellsiebert.com/
Connect with the host Amy Vaughan:
LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/amypvaughan
Podcast:Power Lounge Podcast - Together Digital
Learn more about Together Digital and consider joining the movement by visiting Home - Together Digital
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:09):
Hello everyone and welcome to your weekly power
lounge.
This is your place to hearauthentic conversations from
those who have power to share.
My name is Amy Vaughn, and I amthe owner and chief empowerment
officer of Together Digital, adiverse and collaborative
community of women who choose toshare their knowledge, power,
and connections.
You can join the movement atTogetherIndigital.com.
(00:31):
And today I am thrilled towelcome someone who brings a
unique combination of militarydiscipline, clinical expertise,
and compassionate healing intoour amazing together community
of high-performing,high-achieving women.
Jules Seibert is a retired Armycolonel, best-selling author,
and clinically certified EFTpractitioner who trans is who is
(00:53):
transforming how we understandand regulate our nervous system
in our high stress world.
We need this, Jules.
I was just telling her before wegot on.
I was like, I don't know aboutthe rest of our listeners, but I
so need today's episode.
Um, after a distinguishedmilitary career, Jewel has
decided to throw herself intohelping people integrate their
(01:13):
inner child and uh rediscovertheir authentic selves through
the power of emotional freedomtechnique or tapping.
Her approach isn't just aboutmanaging stress, it's about
fundamentally transforming ourrelationship with our emotions
and unlocking our most empoweredselves.
In an industry like ours that isoverwhelmed is the norm and
(01:35):
imposter syndrome runs rampant.
Jules' work couldn't be moretimely, as I mentioned earlier.
So whether you're preparing fora big presentation, navigating
the workspace comp uh worksplacecompetition, or just simply
trying to quiet that criticalinner voice we all know.
Uh, Jules is here to sharescience-backed techniques that
(01:56):
can create calm and lastingconfidence.
So please, everyone, join me inwelcoming Jul Seibert to the
Power Lounge.
Welcome, Jules.
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Thank you, Amy.
I'm so happy to be here.
SPEAKER_02 (02:07):
Yes.
And like I said, such a neededthing.
Nervous system regulation in ahigh pressure, high-stakes
world.
Um, you know, we'll probably getinto some of like the science
and the things behind this, butyou know, I only heard about
tapping probably in the last twoor three years.
And then when I people bring itup, they're like, how did you
learn about it?
How do you know about it?
There's such a curiosity aroundit.
(02:29):
And for someone like you, reallycurious as to how this became a
thing for you, going from acolonel to an EFT practitioner,
that's quite the pivot.
Um, what sparked that transitionfor you from military service
into helping people regulatetheir nervous system through
something like tapping?
SPEAKER_00 (02:48):
Yeah, it's crazy, right?
Everyone's always like, what?
So I had I had started off asactive duty.
I spent 14 years.
I went to West Point and went tospent 14 years as an active duty
army officer.
And about that time, um, I gotpregnant, and then my daughter
was born.
(03:08):
And, you know, when I waspregnant, I was like, do I stay
in?
Do I get out?
You know, because I had servedmy obligation.
And when she was born, I justhad this moment, you know, and I
knew because I had deployed,I've been on four deployments,
two trips to Korea, and I likedit, but it wasn't my it wasn't
(03:28):
the end-all be-all for like mysoul, essentially.
And I just decided, you know, Iwant to do something different.
I don't want to be away from herbecause I knew I was gonna be
gone again, but I didn't want tobe away from her on something
that wasn't it, you know, Iwasn't gonna be happy-ish.
So I got out after that, but Istill stayed in the reserves, of
(03:52):
course, and that's how Icontinued on, but I didn't know
what I was gonna do.
So I went to um, I got acertification with Jack
Canfield, and I was at one ofhis programs, and you know, a
piece of it was tapping, and Ithought it was nuts, Amy.
I thought it was nuts becausewe're sitting there and he's
like, Okay, I'm gonna teach youthis way to like regulate your
(04:15):
nervous system.
It's called tapping, and here'show you do it.
And we're sitting there and I'mlike, I'm supposed to, oh,
there's my cat.
Hi cat.
We love it when the pets make anappearance, it's all good.
They're both they're both here.
But I was like, so I'm supposedto hit myself in the face and
feel better.
Better.
This is I was like, You're nuts,this is nuts, but we did it, you
(04:36):
know, we all did it, and I feltthe shift in my body.
And my partner who was leadingme through was like, Jewel, you
look different.
And I was like, I feeldifferent, and then I became
obsessed.
I just started learning it andyou know, doing all the things
and doing all the training, andit fascinated me, you know, the
the science behind it, how ourbrains and bodies work, and then
(04:59):
just how I felt and the changesI saw in myself and other
people, I mean, I becameobsessed.
SPEAKER_02 (05:08):
Makes sense.
I think a lot of us here atTogether Digital, we're chronic
learners.
And once we find a tool or atrick or something, right, that
just makes life more manageableand easier, whether that's job
or just lifing in general, we'rewe go down that rabbit hole.
So we can relate, Joel.
Yeah.
So for those who are maybe alittle unfamiliar with EFT,
could you walk us through alittle bit of what happens to
(05:29):
our nervous system when we're inthat fight, flight, freeze, or
fawn response and and how howdoes something actually work?
SPEAKER_00 (05:36):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great question.
So when we're going about ourlife and you know, we're taking
in all this information, andsomething will, something will
happen that tells our bodiesthat we cannot meet the
requirements, you know, ourresources, whether it's skills,
knowledge, time, whatever, wecannot meet the outside world's
(05:57):
requirements.
And this can happen like becausewe're in chronic stress, it can
happen because like a one-timeevent happened, or because like
seemingly non-threatening thingsthat we learned from before are
triggering us.
So our brain goes into highgear, and the amygdala and the
hippocampus, everything startssaying, we are under attack,
(06:19):
there's a threat, we need tosurvive.
So our body immediately startsproducing the stress hormones.
Um, our early, our um immediateearly genes turn on, and you
know, we just start going andour body starts doing the things
like the fast heart rate, thequicker breathing, um, diverting
(06:40):
blood to our extremities so wecan either fight or fight or
just freeze, you know, it's itgoes into survival mode.
Well, this is perfect, it is abeautiful system.
You know, it's our sympatheticnervous system, it is doing this
to keep us safe.
But in situations where we'renot actually in danger, right?
Like that's a problem.
(07:00):
Because we can't, you know, ifyou're giving a presentation and
you you're the blood is goingfrom the logical, rational
thinking part of your brain, andthe you know, you you don't
remember what you want to say.
So, you know, uh tapping comesin and it's a combination of um
cognitive behavioral therapy.
(07:21):
Well, it's it takes elementsfrom it, uh elements from
exposure therapy andacupressure.
And you you tap, you physicallytap on these different points in
your body, these acupoints,while you're thinking or saying,
or you know, just feeling thesethings, and it sends a signal to
your body that I am safe.
(07:41):
And your amygdala says, Oh,wait, I'm safe.
I can stop the stress response.
So it shifts from thesympathetic nervous system, you
know, the parasympatheticnervous system turns on.
And so that allows you to havethese same thoughts, but while
being physiologically likecalmed.
(08:01):
And that is amazing because thenit allows your brain to write
create new neural pathways.
So, you know, you can say, like,oh, I'm freaking out, I have
this presentation, but your bodyis saying I'm safe.
And then your brain says, wait,I can be safe even while
thinking this.
So it brings you relief in themoment, but it can also bring
(08:23):
you relief in future events.
So it's not as intense or itdoesn't happen as frequently, or
you recover faster.
So it's not about oh, I'm sorry,I get really wound up.
Oh, it's great, keep going.
It's not about like just beingeven keeled, but it's about
having appropriate levels ofemotional responses to things.
SPEAKER_02 (08:46):
Because, like, from an evolutionary standpoint,
right, our brain doesn't knowwhether we're walking into a den
of lions, right?
Or standing up in front of 10people to do a presentation or a
pitch, right?
And I've heard it described aslike our our brain is like a
bottom-up processor, right?
So it starts in like ourreptilian part of our brain,
(09:06):
which is like that fight,flight, or flee, right?
So it starts from the bottom,and like you were saying, it
kind of works with the amygdala,but it's also that prefrontal
cortex was what we need to belike logical and rational.
And it's like you just getstuck, like everything gets
stuck in that part of the brain,and the body responds.
And like you were saying, Iwanted to call this out as you
said it because you kind of youmentioned it, and I don't know
(09:27):
if our listeners really pickedit up, but trauma is encoded in
your DNA.
Like that's how we survive.
So whether you know it or not,past events are still living
within your body, and that's howyour body just keeps you safe.
And when it feels or sees, or isthat's what we that's what we
mean by trigger, right?
It's like when you feel that oryou see that that thing, that's
(09:50):
what initiates and sets off thatpart of your body.
And so it's like you're you feellike you're in such danger, but
it's like a phone call from yourmom, you know, or like a
presentation that you have todo, you know, it's so
interesting how learning, likeyou said, how your sympathetic
and parasympathetic nervoussystems work, kind of even just
(10:12):
having that understanding is sohelpful.
Um, but having the tool oftapping, it's that that's just
like next level.
And I think does this kind ofcompare to, I'll throw in a
bonus question for those who arekind of more into some of this
stuff too.
Um, is like, is this kind ofsimilar in a way to kind of work
through things like you weretalking about a little bit of
rehardwing, reprogramming asEMDR?
SPEAKER_00 (10:34):
And can you give people a little bit about that
too, in case I'm talking overanybody's head, which I don't
mean to be, but yeah, no, and Ijust want to preface by saying I
am not an expert in EMDR.
However, tapping does use someelements.
There are some more advancedtechniques where you use the eye
movements because you know theway everything is connected in
the brain and the the memories,all of it kind of combines back
(10:57):
here.
So they're very complementaryapproaches, and EFT does pull
some elements from EMDR as well.
And because like the memories,um, I think it's so important
what you said about the that'sliterally wired in our brain.
Because our memories are from,you know, we have long term and
short term, but we also havesensory.
(11:18):
So it's something you see orsmell or hear or taste, like
those things, because it's allit's all connected in your
brain.
And even before the limbicsystem forms, you know, it's
it's the fastest growing part ofour brain from zero to 18
months.
And so that's storingeverything, and that's
(11:38):
pre-language.
So that's encodes your emotions,you know, all that, all that
information that we can't evenverbalize.
It's just there.
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:50):
And it's just so fascinating.
I'm sure you see this with thepeople that you work with and
coach, but I think some peoplewould be surprised to know how
much, like you just said, zeroto 18 months, how much is
getting encoded, how much aboutour inner child is sort of
hardwired within us and how itcan start to reappear at any
(12:10):
point in adulthood, you know,and so it feels and seems so
disconnected and so random.
But really spending time andworking about and going through
about the process of integratingthe inner child, um, I would
love for you to kind of diveinto that and why that's
actually so important and howreconnecting with that part of
ourselves can help to regulateand manage stress, even in our
(12:30):
professional lives.
Like it sounds crazy, y'all, butthat that childhood you still
hanging out.
SPEAKER_00 (12:36):
It is, it is.
And even just like five or 10years younger versions of us,
but I didn't really understandthe inner child when I first
heard about it.
I was like, what is this?
Some pop psychology.
Like, I don't understand.
So, but I love it now.
So the inner child, if you wantto think of the inner child,
it's a combination of things.
(12:58):
So, you know, our hippocampus,our limbic system, our amygdala,
and the essence of who we are.
So when people, well, in thiscontext, when we're talking
about the inner child, you'll begoing through life and you
experience something.
And, you know, people say likethey talk about big T trauma
when something really badhappens, or they'll use the term
(13:21):
small T trauma, where we feellike we're in a traumatic event,
we'll feel like we're threatenedand we're isolated, but maybe
our perception of it um doesn'tmatch reality, but we still have
that impact.
So when we're talking aboutinner child, we're looking at
what happened, an event thathappened, or something that
(13:41):
happened that taught our brainsum information about how the
world works, how other peoplework, how we are, and we needed
to do something to survive.
And like, say for example, likeyou're in school, you know,
you're like what, seven andgiving a presentation at school,
and you get up and you give thispresentation, and the kids laugh
(14:03):
at you because you forget aboutwhat you say we're supposed to
say, and the kids laugh at you,and you're embarrassed, and you
just want to go home and theymake fun of you.
Well, that's that's a big dealfor a kid.
That's that can destroy them.
And so they can remember likelittle Timothy sitting there
with the, you know, whatever,like looking at them.
(14:24):
Well, their brains learn it'snot safe for me to speak up.
I I am the type of person whoforgets things, and people are
gonna judge me.
And that's wired in their brain.
So they will take that andmoving forward.
So you can you can practice, youcan willpower, you can give
yourself like positive talk.
But when you go to give apresentation in the future,
(14:44):
you're still gonna have likethese things like, oh, they're
gonna judge me, they're gonnastare at me like this, I'm
gonna, I'm the type of personthat forgets what I say.
So when you go back and you workon those aspects of you and see
what's really going on, and thenmake it safe, because again, you
can't logically, you can't justlogically address this.
(15:05):
You need to soothe your nervoussystem.
Right.
And when you do that, you canlearn a new way, you know, teach
yourself a a different thing aspossible.
SPEAKER_02 (15:15):
I love that that you're saying you don't have to
just force your way through it.
That by actually like taking apause and thinking about like
what those triggers could be,what were the instances, what
are the what are the truths,what are the narratives, what
are the stories, it seems likesuch a more lasting way than
just powering through.
Yes, you know, faking it tillyou make it, you know, it feels
(15:38):
like that would be a lot.
Um, so we've got a couple oflive listeners with us today.
So hi friends, thank you forjoining us and listening live.
We always love it.
If you have questions as we'rehaving this conversation that
you want to get from, you know,answered by Jill, please ask
them.
That's why we have you here.
We love to ask, give, and growwith Together Digital.
We always want to make surethat, you know, you all are
being heard and you're gettingwhat you need from the
(16:00):
conversation.
Um, so my next question isactually on behalf of our
members who I know struggle alot with um the supposed
imposter syndrome and which isreally just self-criticism.
Um, can you share a specifictapping technique that they
could possibly use?
We're talking aboutpresentation, so maybe this is
like what's a tapping techniqueI could use right before a big
meeting or presentation.
(16:21):
And I'm like literally coldhands, numb arms, heart racing.
SPEAKER_00 (16:27):
Yes.
Okay, so for presentationspecifically, I would recommend
to like tap on it before themoment.
Okay.
You know, when you're in, um,but right before the tapping.
So we always start on a side.
Do you want me to go through thetapping points to tell what
they're doing?
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Yeah, let's start there.
That's absolutely.
And um, let's like make surewe're framing reference for
those who aren't watching aswell, obviously, that are just
listening.
Thank you.
That's a good reminder.
SPEAKER_00 (16:52):
Yeah.
So we start with the side of thehand.
So if sometimes you'll hear itcalled the karate chop point.
So if you think about takingyour hand and like physically
chopping a piece of wood, itwould be this end side of your
palm.
So you tap on there.
The next tapping point is thetop of the head.
So if you were to take yourfingers on your ears and draw a
(17:15):
point to the top of your head,it's there.
Next is inside the eyebrow.
So it's there on both sides.
So like right where your eyebrowmeets the bridge, the top of
your nose.
And next is outside the eye.
So kind of kind of near yourtemple.
Next is oh, and also I have aworksheet that I can share, like
(17:40):
a little graphic, so you don'thave to memorize this.
But next is under the eye on theorbital bone.
And then is that spot betweenyour nose and your lip.
And next is on the chin, likethat bump, you know, where your
chin starts to go out, rightabove that.
(18:01):
And then next is a couple incheslike under your collarbone.
You know, there's like kind ofthat softer area.
And next is under your armpit,like a hands with a hands width
down, kind of where your bra is.
So those are the points in thebasic recipe.
So when you're going through,you don't have to do all the
(18:21):
points, but you can.
But like you're nervous rightbefore a talk, right before we
logged on here, I did it.
Uh, but you can tap on the sideof your hand and just
acknowledge what you're feeling.
So, like, even though I am sonervous, I accept that I feel
this way.
Even though I feel like I'mgoing to forget everything and
(18:45):
mess it all up, and everyone'sgonna think I'm an idiot.
I am safe right here, right now.
Even though I'm not gonna knowwhat to do, and I'm probably
gonna get fired and it's gonnadestroy all my credibility.
You know, just go off.
I am safe right here right nowbecause all the things come out.
You know, you can do that, andlike if you're you can most
(19:06):
people and then go through thepoints and just say what you're
feeling and say, I'm open to itbeing easy.
Or you could just not even say athing.
Um, and this is great to gothrough the tapping points if
you're comfortable doing it inpublic, or if you have like a
spot where you can like bealone.
Yeah, but if you're notcomfortable doing it in public,
(19:27):
you can get away with doing itin private.
So, like if I'm in a bigpresentation setting, like
especially when I was like inthe reserves and I wouldn't want
to like sometimes I did, butlike if it was a big group, I
would sit there because you canhave your hand in your lap and
just push, just push on thesepoints.
And you know, if you're like ifyou're doing this on a tapping
(19:48):
point and like touching the sideof your eye, or like just
rubbing your head, nobody'sgonna know what you're doing.
These are normal humanbehaviors, yeah.
So, and you just think I am sostressed out, or you know, just
I'm open to being calm, but Ifeel really scared right now.
So I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (20:08):
It's like so cash.
I know one of my therapists inthe past years, and I think I've
mentioned this on the episodebefore, had taught me like
taking and like if I'm in ameeting, like just taking my
hands and I've got my headphoneson, so they're in the way, but
like putting my hands on top ofmy head like that, even just the
pressure to like around, butthat is a topping point too.
And like you said, like thetemples, it's such a hmm, I'm
holding my chin.
I'm just thinking, you know,like you really can sort of
(20:30):
subversively do it.
Yes, and those moments.
I love that so much becauseyeah, not all of us can step
away.
And again, even as you've beenshowing like the hand things,
like you guys that are watchingright now can see me from the
chest up.
You can't see my hands, so youcan't tell if I've been doing
the tapping on my hands oranything like that.
So, yeah, there's a lot ofreally cool ways, I think, that
(20:53):
you can kind of do it if youcan't get away and do it
privately.
So I love, love, love thosetips.
That's awesome.
Um, we did have a comment.
Um, oh Candice was saying she'sbeen following Nick Ortner.
Did I say his name right for awhile?
But I don't understand thedifference between EFT and a
good massage.
That's and then I was like, allthese points you're messaging or
(21:16):
telling us about Jewel.
I'm like, that's why I likefacials.
SPEAKER_00 (21:18):
Yeah, yeah.
They're all touch.
So if you're so massages that goon your pressure points will
also relax you.
Um, you can use EFT in differentways too.
So there's like you can do it toyourself, but you can you can
work through like big events orfears, you know.
(21:41):
You like a massage and EFT areboth really good for overall
relaxation of your nervoussystem.
I would use EFT if I want torewire neural pathways.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
I love it.
I love it.
Um, oh, let's see, we've gotmore questions.
I love it.
And yes, you're welcome,Candace.
Thank you for chiming in.
We love it.
Um, for Bell's palsy, facialparalysis, any tips?
Great question.
SPEAKER_00 (22:05):
Ooh, so like in terms of helping with it, I
would imagine so, yeah.
So one of the things tapping isoften used for physical issues.
And what I would do is startwith whatever emotions are
(22:25):
around it and start withaccepting it.
Like, for example, um, I would Iwould if it if I was working
with you, I would say, eventhough I have facial paralysis,
I accept that this is how I am.
Even though I don't want to havefacial paralysis, I am safe
right here, right now.
You know, validate your currentcondition and then dig into the
(22:50):
emotions that you're havingaround it.
Because a lot of times we'llhave physical symptoms and then
we'll have emotions and stressabout having those physical
symptoms.
Yeah.
And that makes it worse.
So letting yourself be okay withthe fact that this is how it is,
(23:11):
like any transformation, right?
Any physical, mental, emotionaltransformation, being okay with
where you are and accepting likethere's nothing wrong with me.
This is my reality.
I'm gonna stop fighting myreality and stop putting all
this energy into it.
That is the first step in anytransformation from what I have
(23:34):
learned and seen.
SPEAKER_02 (23:36):
I love that so much.
Um, it reminds me of, and it'sso funny because my daughter,
gosh, she's 12, but she's sowise for her age.
And I had told her about thetheory of the second arrow, and
I think it's like a Buddhistprinciple or philosophy or
something.
I can't remember exactly where Iheard it, but um, definitely in
the camp of like mindfulness,and it's like beware of the
(23:57):
second arrow.
The first arrow is like whensomething happens to us and the
pain of what that thing is, thesecond arrow is the pain of like
trying to not acknowledge andaccept what happened to us.
Like you double the pain.
It's the second arrow, and it'slike you've literally shot it at
(24:17):
yourself when instead it's like,can you find a way to um accept,
acknowledge, embrace, hold spacefor that pain?
And then, like you said, kind offind other ways to kind of calm
your nervous system, let youtell yourself know that you are
you are safe.
I do wonder too, with like umBell's palsy and facial
(24:37):
paralysis.
I have I actually have a friendwho um was diagnosed with that.
Um, gosh, it's been over adecade now.
Um, I guess if you have any kindof like numbness or paralysis in
your face, does tapping thosepoints in your face still work?
I'm not sure if that's what youwere trying to get at with your
question, Z, but I was just kindof curious.
SPEAKER_00 (24:55):
Oh, I don't know.
I would I would think so.
But I'm not familiar enough withwith facial facial facial
paralysis and bell's palsy toknow.
But it's the tapping on themeridians.
So as long as the the I want tosay messaging, but you know, it
(25:16):
sends signals through our thenerves, right?
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
Right?
Yeah, it's like the muscles areparalyzed, but maybe the nerves
are obviously still receiving.
SPEAKER_00 (25:23):
So maybe that, and there's also alternate points.
And then, you know, once you'reonce you've you know, you can st
I would still tap on them, youknow, I would still tap on them
and see if they'll go through.
And then you can also haveconversations with parts of
yourself, so you could say, thisis like after you've been okay,
but like, you know, what isthere anything you want to tell
(25:46):
me?
You know, you could talk tothese physical, like when people
have like any pains in theirbody, a useful technique is to
like have a conversation withthat part of you, like it's
another person.
And see, is it storing anyemotion inside of it?
Because again, like the secondarrow, there's layers on top of
it.
SPEAKER_02 (26:05):
Layers, yeah.
Um, good point, Z.
She says all the points um thatyou showed are also acupuncture
points or acupuncture points.
100%.
It's all related to like thenervous system and where the
body emits.
Like it's it's so funny.
Like we often think, and peoplewho've done biofeedback, you
know, are familiar withbiofeedback know this too.
It's like we think that the bodyor the brain informs the body,
but it's not that.
(26:26):
Like the body actually informsthe brain more than anything.
So it's like if your heart ratestarts to go up, your brain
starts to panic and fear sets inbecause your body responds to
both excitement and fear in thesame way.
And so, like, that's one trickI've always had when I have to
speak or do something that makesme nervous.
I'll be like, I'm not scared,I'm excited.
I'm just really excited to behere.
(26:47):
And then my body's like, oh,okay, well, this feels like
excitement, sure.
And that's the brain taking overand saying, okay, listen, body,
you're not gonna hijack thismoment.
I'm gonna tell you instead ofyou tell me.
But oftentimes it really goesthe other way.
And really learning how to payattention to like your body
sensations and heart rate arereally, really important.
Um, we did have one otherquestion about how hard do we
(27:09):
tap?
SPEAKER_00 (27:10):
Oh, that's a great question.
You do not have to tap thathard.
There is no correlation betweenlike if I tap really hard, I'll
get results faster.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
Uh just a gentle touch, you know, don't it, it
should not hurt you.
And you can you can tap oneither side of the body, both
sides.
You know, I just do, and if youcan't hit every tapping point
because you have like some kindof discomfort, right?
Just skip it.
SPEAKER_02 (27:35):
Great question, Z.
And a good reminder for me thatI need to go back to acupuncture
because oh my gosh, it is thebest thing for stress and
anxiety, in my opinion.
Awesome.
All right, let's see.
My next keep the questions andcomments coming, folks.
We love it.
Um, you know, I think you andand a lot of folks that are kind
of in this space, which I loveto hear, really believe and
(27:56):
understand, like what you weresaying earlier is acknowledging,
right?
Aware and acknowledge.
So all emotions serve a purpose,even the hard ones, right?
Especially the hard ones, right?
The ones we want to ignore orpush away or avoid.
How can we shift from avoidingthe uncomfortable emotions and
actually start to learn fromthem?
SPEAKER_00 (28:16):
Yeah, that I love that.
So I truly believe that thereare no negative emotions.
They're all a message, just likeinformation.
Like we feel angry when we'vebeen, there's an injustice, you
know, or sad when there's grief.
But they can also feel veryuncomfortable and like we can't
handle them.
(28:36):
Um now when we we do have atendency to numb out, and I will
say numbing out is an adaptiveresponse because sometimes we're
not, we don't have the capacityto feel it, and our body will
numb out.
And I'll say, in that case, letyourself numb out, but again,
tap on it, you know, be gentlewith yourself.
Say it's okay that I'm numb.
(28:56):
When I'm ready, I'll be able toheal, you know, I'll be ready to
feel it.
So you make it safe.
And when I went through mydivorce, I spiraled for a bit
really hard.
Like it was the great thing, butyou know, you still like have
the a loss of what you wanted,right?
Like the dream of what your lifewas gonna look like.
And it felt overwhelming.
(29:18):
And I think this is why we tendto avoid emotions a lot because
it can feel like too much, and Ican't handle it.
So, what I did is I did a lot oftapping on, even though this
feels terrible and I can'thandle it.
I know I can handle it, youknow, and make it okay and
validate again, validate howterrible it feels and give
(29:42):
yourself compassion.
You know, say, I choose to showmyself grace.
Because trying to shift out ofthis, like I think a lot of
times we'll like emotionally tryto bypass or spiritually bypass
and say, Oh, well, I'll focus onthe good.
You know, the this serves apurpose.
Purpose or this is part of God'splan.
(30:02):
But if you do that withoutprocessing the emotions, you're
just gonna bury them in a like arock inside of yourself.
But letting yourself feel it andtapping will give you like
soothing or some other, youknow, you could do meditations
or visualizations, making itsafe for you to feel the
(30:24):
emotions will let you movethrough them.
And then you can learn fromthem.
Because when you're when you'rebeing triggered, you you cannot
learn Jack.
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (30:35):
Yeah, because your body's gonna body and do what
it's going to do because it islike you said earlier, it's in
tidal flight, flee, freeze orphone, whatever, all the things
that there are that we couldpossibly do in those moments.
And I love that.
I think the acceptance is such abig part of it.
I think listening to our bodiesand learning our feelings, it's
such an important thing becausewe have such limited language
(30:56):
around our emotions.
There's a great book out there.
If you all haven't hardly readit or haven't heard me recommend
it before, Atlas of the Heart,um, by Brene Brown.
Everybody knows her by now.
But the book itself just reallytalks a lot about the lack of
language.
So like you were just talkingabout your divorce, and whatever
comes up with that, I alwayshear, I always remember her
term, disenfranchised grief.
(31:18):
Whereas like we give such honor,space, and presence and sympathy
to people who are have a lossand like a death in the family
because there's acknowledgedgrief, grief.
But when it comes to things likelosing a pet or going through a
divorce or anything else, losinga job, it's very
disenfranchised.
We're not allowed to grieve.
(31:38):
We have to like pull up our biggirl pants and we got to go back
out there and try to figure outlife after going through a great
loss that has its own process.
So I definitely recommend ifyou're looking for ways in which
you can bring even language tolike know how to acknowledge
what you're feeling, that's areally good one to check out.
All right.
So this next question I'mexcited to ask because I have
(31:58):
family members who've been inthe service and who've gone
through basic and deploying.
Um, and I think a lot of folkswho are listening probably know
that the in the military showingvulnerability, probably not
always encouraged, right?
Um, how did your own journeywith emotional regulation
challenge what you learned aboutstrength and leadership, kind of
coming from that space and intothis space, which feels very
(32:21):
different and more vulnerable?
SPEAKER_00 (32:23):
Yeah.
You know, I think it actuallyreinforced what I know about
leadership.
Um so, you know, when you'rewhen you're in a leadership
position, and I think this istrue for military, corporate,
you know, whatever, you know,owning your business.
Stakes are high.
Yeah.
And when you're in charge, youneed to lead with a vision and
(32:45):
with confidence and instill thatconfidence in your subordinates.
Like you have a job and badthings also happen.
You know, you're you're gonna bescared if losses happen.
Like there are bad things thathappen.
And there is a time and a placefor processing that, but like in
the moment, like when you losesomeone or when something bad
(33:10):
happens, that isn't the momentto show to fall apart as a
leader, right?
So I think in cases like that,you compartmentalize, you set it
aside, you help your peoplemanage it because they're
feeling it too.
You know, you provide, just likebeing a parent, you provide them
(33:30):
with what they need at themoment.
And then after you process, youyou do what you need to do, you
talk to your peers, you talk toyour mentors, you work, you work
through your own things.
And what I've learned sincelearning about EFT is just how
important uh nervous systemregulation is to do that because
(33:55):
like your nervous system is likea container, right?
And this container can handle acertain amount of stress.
Like you pour more in and it'sgonna overflow.
The only and you're not gonnalike reduce the amount of liquid
that you have to hold.
The only thing you can do isincrease your container.
So you can increase yourcapacity by learning how to like
(34:17):
build your confidence, regulateyour nervous system, give
yourself a bigger container, andthat allows you to be a more
level-headed, compassionate, uh,better decision maker, be a
better leader overall.
Present.
Yes, more present.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you know, and I think it'sit's fine to like admit, you
know, like, yeah, I don't knowhow this is gonna work out.
(34:38):
We're probably gonna screw itup, but you know, things, bad
things are gonna happen, butwe're gonna figure it out.
Right.
So I think the two actually gohand in hand.
But being vulnerable in theappropriate time and place with
the appropriate audience.
Yes, yeah, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (34:54):
And I think that's like to your point, like that's
where the inner work has tohappen, right?
So I think strong leaders aretypically the best leaders in my
mind, are very like emotionally,like they have a great emotional
regulation and um the ability tolike think, speak clearly, to be
very present, um, to have thatsense of confidence.
(35:14):
And I think maybe what you'regetting at is like, it's not
like, and it always requiredvulnerability.
It's just that some people kindof just have it innately a
little bit more, and then othersjust need like us, need some
more practice or tools to kindof help us feel all of those
things so that then we can showup in the way that others might
need us to in order to lead whenthe stakes are high.
(35:35):
Um, I love that.
It's such a cool, interestinginsight.
And again, I think I hope thatit helps our listeners find that
way and that path towardsgetting beyond like the fear,
the uncertainty, or the scarcitymindset, even by kind of taking
into these sort of practices.
Because I think in our industryspecifically, like digital
marketing and advertisingagencies, especially, we're kind
(35:57):
of constantly in crisis mode.
We're running from one fire tothe next.
And I think, you know, burnout'sa big word that gets thrown
around, honestly, a lot thesedays, but definitely within our
industry.
I think we tried to define itfirst.
It's I'm pretty sure it's theonly time somebody in any
industry ever just died at theirdesk from stress was because
they were working at an agency.
Um seriously, it was like 10years ago now, but yeah, it
(36:18):
happened.
Um, but what is the differencebetween like these acute stress
responses versus like chronicnervous system dysregulation?
I think it's an important thingto kind of dive into a little
bit more for those of us whomaybe are listening and sort of
not sure is this anxiety, am Ideveloping some PTSD?
Like, is there something moregoing on here that I really need
(36:40):
to know that I need to geteither more help, put into more
practices into place, thingslike that.
SPEAKER_00 (36:45):
Yeah.
So an acute stress response iswhat our bodies are built for.
So we'll have somethingstressful happen, we'll
experience uh symptoms, anxiety,maybe trouble sleeping, um,
appetite symptoms, you know, thethe normal things.
But the the effects willdissipate.
It could dissipate within hours,two to three days.
(37:08):
Um chronic is it keeps going,keeps going, keeps going.
So if if your symptoms don'tdissipate after a couple days,
definitely I would recommendseeing a mental health
practitioner, seeing a doctor.
Um we are just not built tohandle chronic all the time.
It's like it's like sittingthere in park with your foot on
(37:31):
the gas pedal, just uh, youknow, after a while, that
engine's gonna stop.
And you have to tend toyourself.
SPEAKER_02 (37:40):
That's a great, great analogy.
Sitting in the car and park andjust running out of gas because
you're just pushing that gaspedal so hard.
Oh, I know so many of you thatare listening feel that right
now.
So yeah, 100%.
And again, I think looking outfor and asking for help.
It's funny.
We talk about, I mean, we talkabout mental health a lot in
Together Digital.
We definitely try to create thatsafe space for vulnerability and
(38:02):
openness.
And I even try to model that aswell because I think it's just
so, so important.
Um, but because it's like I seeso much where it's that thin
line, right, between that acutestress response and that chronic
nervous system dysregulation,you can easily just kind of tip
over into that side.
And I think knowing thedifference and not just calling
it burnout, I think maybe that'swhy burnout bothers me because
(38:24):
it's to me, it's like aspectrum.
And it's like, at what point doyou need to just stop the whole
like, oh, it's self-care andsome extra sleep and hydration
versus no, I need to go asksomebody for actual help and get
help.
SPEAKER_00 (38:36):
Yeah, you know, yeah.
There can be such a stigmaagainst it too, sometimes.
Like I know um on one of mydeployments, like I couldn't
sleep.
I couldn't sleep at all.
I just was not, and I was like,this is a problem.
You know, after about a week,I'm like, I'm only getting like
a couple, like I cannot, I'mexhausted and I'm not sleeping.
(38:57):
So I went to see the doc.
And uh, you know, he had um abiofeedback machine and that was
yeah, but we had one of theleaders in our unit, he was like
making fun of the people whowent to see the doc.
And I'm like, he's helpingpeople, yeah.
So I think when that happens,it's important to see, you know,
pay enough attention to yourselfwhen you know you need a little
(39:21):
something, and don't worry aboutwhat other people say about it.
Exactly.
You're your number and it'll itcan like mine a couple couple
times, and I was good with thatbiofeedback, but you know, you
never that's great.
You need to take care of you.
SPEAKER_02 (39:37):
Yes.
Well, it's I also equate it to,you know, the the brain does not
know the difference betweenphysical and emotional pain.
It really doesn't.
And the way the body responds, Imean, if you just look at like
the the like the way like youwere just saying, the body
starts sending blood, like thebody freaks, the brain says,
(39:58):
okay, we're gonna move bloodfrom here to here.
Like literally your body is yourbrain is doing, telling the body
what to do to get you to likerespond, right?
And that can become so hard.
So it's almost like if you had abig old gash on your leg,
literally need stitches,bleeding everywhere.
Like you wouldn't be like, nah,you know, the stigma of the
hospital, not great.
(40:19):
Stitches, like, oh come on,please.
That's so woo.
I'm not doing that.
Nobody would say that.
They would go to the freakingdoctor and then get stitches and
antibiotics and everything elsethat they need to heal that
wound.
And so I think we need to startthinking about our emotional
wounds as like wounds that wecarry.
You just can't see them.
And, you know, asking for andgetting some sort of help, like
(40:39):
you shouldn't diminish that.
Just because somebody can't seeit doesn't mean that your body
is not feeling it.
You know?
SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (40:46):
So I love that story of the biofeedback and you know
how it helped you.
I'm kind of curious throughoutyour practice and the what
you've been doing for others, ifyou have a story for yourself or
other people where you've hadlike a powerful transformation
that you've seen or you feltwhen somebody finally learns how
to truly regulate their nervoussystem.
SPEAKER_00 (41:06):
Oh my god, yes.
I mean, a lot.
Yeah.
I can share.
I'm sure.
Gosh, me, me, is this is the thethe one that I always remind
myself on like, you know, whenyou have the hard days and
you're like, why do I evenbother?
And I think about wait, I'm afunctioning human.
Because um, I didn't always usedto be.
(41:29):
And you know, I think like whatwe see on paper and our
accomplishments on papersometimes belie what's going on
underneath.
Absolutely, yeah.
Um, because for me, I had I hadan abusive uh family member, and
so I had like a pattern of lowconfidence, right?
But I still was functioning.
(41:50):
But you know, when you get intothese patterns, you tend to
repeat the relationships, andyou tend to get in unhealthy
relationships for you orrelationships that don't work
for you.
And before I was in a veryunhealthy relationship, and but
I wasn't leaving, and I got tothe point where I was
(42:12):
emotionally chucked out, and Ithink it's I'm sorry, it's kind
of hard to talk about this, butit shouldn't be like uh I used
to numb out a lot and I turnedto alcohol, you know, I'd put my
daughter to bed, I would drinkway too much, and then you know,
I was just kind of goingthroughout my day being a zombie
(42:32):
and a ruck.
And I really spiraled and I Ihad these dreams about having
like a business and doing allthese things, and it just wasn't
happening.
And then I learned thesetechniques and the advanced
techniques, and I startedworking with someone on the
inner child work and feeling myemotions.
(42:54):
Like, I my first session, I Icried for the first time in like
years that I can remembercrying.
I was like, Oh, there's a lothere, yeah.
And you know, just workingthrough that has been such a
shift.
I was I was with my tappingmentor the other day.
She goes, Do you understand?
Like, you're a completelydifferent person.
You would show up a hot mess,yeah, crying.
(43:17):
Like you couldn't, you weren'tfunctioning.
And now I have like a a place Ilove, a relationship I love,
relationship with my I mean, mydaughter and I were always
close, but you know, we're asshe's getting older, we're we're
still super close.
I have a business that I love,like things are working, and I
feel so calm and comfortable.
(43:39):
And it's just that feeling whenyou're in a hole and now you can
breathe.
Yeah, like I think everythinghas changed, and that's why I
feel so strongly about this workand what it can do.
SPEAKER_02 (43:51):
Oh, thank you for sharing.
I love it.
We love hearing the personalstories and experiences because
I know somebody that's listeningis very is relating hard right
now, like is very much like,yes, that is me right now.
And to be able to see somebodythat's on the other side of it
that found the tools and thethings that help them kind of
like you said, kind of get outof that hole.
Um, it's so great.
It's so, it's super inspiring.
(44:12):
Um, on that note, like, how doyou respond to those who are
kind of skeptical and maybedismiss tapping as like woo,
unscientific, um, whatever theywant to try to say despite all
the evidence out there?
SPEAKER_00 (44:25):
I just laugh.
I'm like, okay.
You're the one missing out.
So sorry.
Yeah.
I mean, there's so manyscientific studies.
Like, if someone asked me, like,and they're actually being
curious, I'd be like, well,yeah, there's all these studies.
SPEAKER_01 (44:38):
Like, sure.
SPEAKER_00 (44:39):
Uh you can look up the science, but if they still
don't believe it, you know, youcan try it and feel the
difference for yourself.
But if not, I mean, I've beendoing this work for what, 10
years now?
Yeah.
And a lot of that I was in thearmy.
And so people were like, that'scrazy.
Like, even my closest friends,they're like, that's nuts.
And I'd be like, you arestressing me out.
Right.
(44:59):
But let me tell you, even today,because you know, I shared about
this uh our interview online,and one of my girlfriends even
shared and said, I I was askeptic.
We used to joke all the time,but I found myself doing it in a
meeting.
Like, uh-huh.
So if they don't want to do it,that's fine.
It's good.
I do it.
My clients do it, like it'sgood.
I hope they find something thatworks for them.
SPEAKER_02 (45:21):
Right?
Well, right.
You're like, yeah, bless yourheart.
Um, but I do, I really feellike, and it's such a I love
that.
If for those who are skeptical,just try it.
I, you know, because it's one ofthose things, it's like it's
such a simple thing to do.
Um, and so on that note, like itbeing kind of a simple thing to
do for somebody who's curious,um, or maybe overwhelmed, what
(45:42):
is kind of the simplest way tostart incorporating EFT into
maybe like their daily routine,you know, again, just to kind of
explore and try it and see howit feels.
SPEAKER_00 (45:52):
Yeah.
So you can just you can just tapwithout even talking, just tap
and just let whatever come up,come up.
Um I know a lot of people whoactually recommend doing like
three minutes of just uh nowordless tapping.
Okay.
And just you can do it if youwant to use like scripts or
videos, there's a ton.
(46:13):
Like you can like tap if you'rejust starting out and you don't
remember the tapping points.
I like using a video is supereasy.
So I have a ton on YouTube.
You can just like tap along withthe person and change the words
to whatever feels good for you.
And once you get comfortablewith it, you know, you can just
do a few minutes a day and seelike how it is.
(46:35):
And yeah, then you can just makeyour own make your own words up.
SPEAKER_02 (46:39):
I love it.
So it's almost like uh elevatedform of meditation in some ways.
SPEAKER_00 (46:44):
Yes.
There's a lot of tappingmeditations too.
You do together.
SPEAKER_02 (46:49):
Yeah, it's so much fun.
Oh, I'm gonna be on the YouTube,so I'll be checking you out.
That's so awesome.
I love it.
All right, I have a couple powerround questions before we wrap
up for the day.
Um, these are kind of some fun,quick questions, rapid fire
stuff.
Um, but again, live listeningaudience, if you have questions
still, we've had a lot of goodchat that everything, like thank
you for everything.
This is amazing, plus all thegreat questions we've had.
(47:11):
Thank you so much, everyone, forlistening and for asking your
questions and for commenting.
Um, but yeah, as we go throughthese questions, if you've got
any other last minute ones forJewel, please drop them in the
chat.
All right, what is your go-totapping point when you need
instant calm, Jewel?
Collarbone.
Collarbone, okay.
SPEAKER_00 (47:28):
At top of the head, too.
I like tapping the head incollarbone.
SPEAKER_02 (47:31):
But yeah, so you can't.
Like if I'm driving.
SPEAKER_00 (47:34):
If I'm driving, if someone cuts you off, I'll be
like, Oh, that's so good.
SPEAKER_02 (47:39):
Yeah.
I like it.
No, I'm not I'm never gonna justI'm just never gonna stop
tapping now.
It's so good.
All right, what is um the mostunexpected place you've done a
quick tapping session?
SPEAKER_00 (47:53):
Um probably the plane.
I wasn't planning on it, but anaudio book I was listening to
triggered me.
And so I was like, and then Istarted crying.
SPEAKER_02 (48:05):
I, oh my gosh, Julie, I needed this three weeks
ago when I was sitting on anairplane crying because I was
extra hormonal.
I had a long week at aconference.
My like nervous system was sofried, and then the the San
Diego airport shut down for 14hours because a plane like lost
a part of its nose or somethingcrazy.
And I was like so ready to behome.
(48:27):
And I knew I was going to atleast get to Salt Lake City, but
there was a good chance I wasgonna miss my connecting flight.
And it was the longest, mosthellish, most nerve-wracking
three hours of my life becauseI'm just watching the time and
like everything took longer.
Loading the bags took longer,loading the plane took longer,
and the whole thing I can seeyour face.
You're already really um, andand I'm just literally sitting
(48:47):
there crying on an airplane.
I'm gonna grown ass crying on anairplane because I just want to
be home and I know I'm going tomiss my flight.
And I totally did.
I missed my connecting flight by20 minutes and got stuck over
it.
And I mean, you know, we've allbeen there, but it is just so
like I I wish and maybe weshould have had this
conversation a few weeks ago.
I'd have been just tapping thehell out of my face.
People would have been like, butyou know what?
I'd rather be tapping myselfthan crying on an airplane.
SPEAKER_00 (49:11):
I was doing both.
And the like flight attendantwalked by, like, oh honey, I'm
like, I'm good.
SPEAKER_02 (49:16):
Start process.
And thank you, Candace.
She's like, all of us have criedon an airplane at least once.
Thank you.
unknown (49:22):
I'm not alone.
SPEAKER_02 (49:25):
All right.
I love this next question.
If your inner child could giveyou your professional self, one
piece of advice, what would youplay more?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's great advice.
Way to go.
Yeah, Jewel.
All right, complete thissentence.
Emotional freedom feels likewhat?
SPEAKER_00 (49:42):
Moving through life with your own soundtrack.
You know, like I'm I realizewe're also gonna be on the
podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (49:53):
Bay can't see us.
You know what?
I can imagine other peoplelistening in the car right now.
They're like, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (49:58):
Like the Emperor's New Group.
SPEAKER_02 (50:01):
Right?
I love it.
Oh my gosh, Jewel, like I said,this was such a much needed
conversation.
Y'all, this week and last week,you gotta listen to last week's
episode too.
That was so good.
I think these conversations arejust like it's been like the
universe saying, okay, this iswhat we need to hear, ladies.
This is what we need to betalking about.
Um, but thank you so much forjoining us today, Jewel.
All of these techniques, youknow, again, it's so simple and
(50:24):
yet so transformative on how wecan literally tap into calm and
clarity, confidence.
It's such a gift to thiscommunity.
And, you know, it's a little bitof something that we all need.
So for those of you that arelistening, I encourage you to
even just try one little tappingexercise today.
Even as you've been listeninghere, maybe you've been trying
it.
Let us know how it's feeling,let us know how you're feeling
(50:46):
and know that it's not aboutpushing it, pushing through or
pushing it out.
It's about giving ourselves thetools that we need to feel more
like ourselves again.
So if you've connected withJewel and you want to learn more
about her work, um, you can findher on LinkedIn.
Um, and then we'll also includethat link in our show notes.
Is there any other place thatthey can find you, Jewel?
SPEAKER_00 (51:05):
Yeah, so I have a website.
I mean, I've YouTube, but on mywebsite, um, there's a really
good tapping.
You can opt into uh tapping forself-compassion that just really
helps.
Like if you beat yourself up alot or you know, I love that's
one of my go-to's.
So jewelsebert.com.
SPEAKER_02 (51:25):
Jewelsebert.com.
Typing in URL now.
All right.
So remember all of ourrecordings of our podcast
sessions are available for freeon YouTube.
Um, also our podcast.
If you haven't yet, umdefinitely leave us a review,
subscribe, all those goodthings.
It really helps us continue tocreate this content and share
messages like these.
And if you're not a TogetherDigital member yet, I highly
(51:47):
recommend it.
I know I'm biased, but justtrust me.
Um, I'm a product of thecommunity itself, as well as
Jill shared with hertransformation with over um 60
professional developmentopportunities throughout the
year, including master classes,peer groups, and our amazing and
supportive online community.
Thank you all for joining us inthe Power Lounge.
Until next time, everyone, keepasking, keep giving, and keep
(52:07):
growing.
We hope to see you next time.
Bye.
Hello everyone and welcome to your weekly power
lounge.
This is your place to hearauthentic conversations from
those who have power to share.
My name is Amy Vaughn, and I amthe owner and chief empowerment
officer of Together Digital, adiverse and collaborative
community of women who choose toshare their knowledge, power,
and connections.
You can join the movement atTogetherIndigital.com.
(00:31):
And today I am thrilled towelcome someone who brings a
unique combination of militarydiscipline, clinical expertise,
and compassionate healing intoour amazing together community
of high-performing,high-achieving women.
Jules Seibert is a retired Armycolonel, best-selling author,
and clinically certified EFTpractitioner who trans is who is
(00:53):
transforming how we understandand regulate our nervous system
in our high stress world.
We need this, Jules.
I was just telling her before wegot on.
I was like, I don't know aboutthe rest of our listeners, but I
so need today's episode.
Um, after a distinguishedmilitary career, Jewel has
decided to throw herself intohelping people integrate their
(01:13):
inner child and uh rediscovertheir authentic selves through
the power of emotional freedomtechnique or tapping.
Her approach isn't just aboutmanaging stress, it's about
fundamentally transforming ourrelationship with our emotions
and unlocking our most empoweredselves.
In an industry like ours that isoverwhelmed is the norm and
(01:35):
imposter syndrome runs rampant.
Jules' work couldn't be moretimely, as I mentioned earlier.
So whether you're preparing fora big presentation, navigating
the workspace comp uh worksplacecompetition, or just simply
trying to quiet that criticalinner voice we all know.
Uh, Jules is here to sharescience-backed techniques that
(01:56):
can create calm and lastingconfidence.
So please, everyone, join me inwelcoming Jul Seibert to the
Power Lounge.
Welcome, Jules.
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Thank you, Amy.
I'm so happy to be here.
SPEAKER_02 (02:07):
Yes.
And like I said, such a neededthing.
Nervous system regulation in ahigh pressure, high-stakes
world.
Um, you know, we'll probably getinto some of like the science
and the things behind this, butyou know, I only heard about
tapping probably in the last twoor three years.
And then when I people bring itup, they're like, how did you
learn about it?
How do you know about it?
There's such a curiosity aroundit.
(02:29):
And for someone like you, reallycurious as to how this became a
thing for you, going from acolonel to an EFT practitioner,
that's quite the pivot.
Um, what sparked that transitionfor you from military service
into helping people regulatetheir nervous system through
something like tapping?
SPEAKER_00 (02:48):
Yeah, it's crazy, right?
Everyone's always like, what?
So I had I had started off asactive duty.
I spent 14 years.
I went to West Point and went tospent 14 years as an active duty
army officer.
And about that time, um, I gotpregnant, and then my daughter
was born.
(03:08):
And, you know, when I waspregnant, I was like, do I stay
in?
Do I get out?
You know, because I had servedmy obligation.
And when she was born, I justhad this moment, you know, and I
knew because I had deployed,I've been on four deployments,
two trips to Korea, and I likedit, but it wasn't my it wasn't
(03:28):
the end-all be-all for like mysoul, essentially.
And I just decided, you know, Iwant to do something different.
I don't want to be away from herbecause I knew I was gonna be
gone again, but I didn't want tobe away from her on something
that wasn't it, you know, Iwasn't gonna be happy-ish.
So I got out after that, but Istill stayed in the reserves, of
(03:52):
course, and that's how Icontinued on, but I didn't know
what I was gonna do.
So I went to um, I got acertification with Jack
Canfield, and I was at one ofhis programs, and you know, a
piece of it was tapping, and Ithought it was nuts, Amy.
I thought it was nuts becausewe're sitting there and he's
like, Okay, I'm gonna teach youthis way to like regulate your
(04:15):
nervous system.
It's called tapping, and here'show you do it.
And we're sitting there and I'mlike, I'm supposed to, oh,
there's my cat.
Hi cat.
We love it when the pets make anappearance, it's all good.
They're both they're both here.
But I was like, so I'm supposedto hit myself in the face and
feel better.
Better.
This is I was like, You're nuts,this is nuts, but we did it, you
(04:36):
know, we all did it, and I feltthe shift in my body.
And my partner who was leadingme through was like, Jewel, you
look different.
And I was like, I feeldifferent, and then I became
obsessed.
I just started learning it andyou know, doing all the things
and doing all the training, andit fascinated me, you know, the
the science behind it, how ourbrains and bodies work, and then
(04:59):
just how I felt and the changesI saw in myself and other
people, I mean, I becameobsessed.
SPEAKER_02 (05:08):
Makes sense.
I think a lot of us here atTogether Digital, we're chronic
learners.
And once we find a tool or atrick or something, right, that
just makes life more manageableand easier, whether that's job
or just lifing in general, we'rewe go down that rabbit hole.
So we can relate, Joel.
Yeah.
So for those who are maybe alittle unfamiliar with EFT,
could you walk us through alittle bit of what happens to
(05:29):
our nervous system when we're inthat fight, flight, freeze, or
fawn response and and how howdoes something actually work?
SPEAKER_00 (05:36):
Yeah, yeah, that's a great question.
So when we're going about ourlife and you know, we're taking
in all this information, andsomething will, something will
happen that tells our bodiesthat we cannot meet the
requirements, you know, ourresources, whether it's skills,
knowledge, time, whatever, wecannot meet the outside world's
(05:57):
requirements.
And this can happen like becausewe're in chronic stress, it can
happen because like a one-timeevent happened, or because like
seemingly non-threatening thingsthat we learned from before are
triggering us.
So our brain goes into highgear, and the amygdala and the
hippocampus, everything startssaying, we are under attack,
(06:19):
there's a threat, we need tosurvive.
So our body immediately startsproducing the stress hormones.
Um, our early, our um immediateearly genes turn on, and you
know, we just start going andour body starts doing the things
like the fast heart rate, thequicker breathing, um, diverting
(06:40):
blood to our extremities so wecan either fight or fight or
just freeze, you know, it's itgoes into survival mode.
Well, this is perfect, it is abeautiful system.
You know, it's our sympatheticnervous system, it is doing this
to keep us safe.
But in situations where we'renot actually in danger, right?
Like that's a problem.
(07:00):
Because we can't, you know, ifyou're giving a presentation and
you you're the blood is goingfrom the logical, rational
thinking part of your brain, andthe you know, you you don't
remember what you want to say.
So, you know, uh tapping comesin and it's a combination of um
cognitive behavioral therapy.
(07:21):
Well, it's it takes elementsfrom it, uh elements from
exposure therapy andacupressure.
And you you tap, you physicallytap on these different points in
your body, these acupoints,while you're thinking or saying,
or you know, just feeling thesethings, and it sends a signal to
your body that I am safe.
(07:41):
And your amygdala says, Oh,wait, I'm safe.
I can stop the stress response.
So it shifts from thesympathetic nervous system, you
know, the parasympatheticnervous system turns on.
And so that allows you to havethese same thoughts, but while
being physiologically likecalmed.
(08:01):
And that is amazing because thenit allows your brain to write
create new neural pathways.
So, you know, you can say, like,oh, I'm freaking out, I have
this presentation, but your bodyis saying I'm safe.
And then your brain says, wait,I can be safe even while
thinking this.
So it brings you relief in themoment, but it can also bring
(08:23):
you relief in future events.
So it's not as intense or itdoesn't happen as frequently, or
you recover faster.
So it's not about oh, I'm sorry,I get really wound up.
Oh, it's great, keep going.
It's not about like just beingeven keeled, but it's about
having appropriate levels ofemotional responses to things.
SPEAKER_02 (08:46):
Because, like, from an evolutionary standpoint,
right, our brain doesn't knowwhether we're walking into a den
of lions, right?
Or standing up in front of 10people to do a presentation or a
pitch, right?
And I've heard it described aslike our our brain is like a
bottom-up processor, right?
So it starts in like ourreptilian part of our brain,
(09:06):
which is like that fight,flight, or flee, right?
So it starts from the bottom,and like you were saying, it
kind of works with the amygdala,but it's also that prefrontal
cortex was what we need to belike logical and rational.
And it's like you just getstuck, like everything gets
stuck in that part of the brain,and the body responds.
And like you were saying, Iwanted to call this out as you
said it because you kind of youmentioned it, and I don't know
(09:27):
if our listeners really pickedit up, but trauma is encoded in
your DNA.
Like that's how we survive.
So whether you know it or not,past events are still living
within your body, and that's howyour body just keeps you safe.
And when it feels or sees, or isthat's what we that's what we
mean by trigger, right?
It's like when you feel that oryou see that that thing, that's
(09:50):
what initiates and sets off thatpart of your body.
And so it's like you're you feellike you're in such danger, but
it's like a phone call from yourmom, you know, or like a
presentation that you have todo, you know, it's so
interesting how learning, likeyou said, how your sympathetic
and parasympathetic nervoussystems work, kind of even just
(10:12):
having that understanding is sohelpful.
Um, but having the tool oftapping, it's that that's just
like next level.
And I think does this kind ofcompare to, I'll throw in a
bonus question for those who arekind of more into some of this
stuff too.
Um, is like, is this kind ofsimilar in a way to kind of work
through things like you weretalking about a little bit of
rehardwing, reprogramming asEMDR?
SPEAKER_00 (10:34):
And can you give people a little bit about that
too, in case I'm talking overanybody's head, which I don't
mean to be, but yeah, no, and Ijust want to preface by saying I
am not an expert in EMDR.
However, tapping does use someelements.
There are some more advancedtechniques where you use the eye
movements because you know theway everything is connected in
the brain and the the memories,all of it kind of combines back
(10:57):
here.
So they're very complementaryapproaches, and EFT does pull
some elements from EMDR as well.
And because like the memories,um, I think it's so important
what you said about the that'sliterally wired in our brain.
Because our memories are from,you know, we have long term and
short term, but we also havesensory.
(11:18):
So it's something you see orsmell or hear or taste, like
those things, because it's allit's all connected in your
brain.
And even before the limbicsystem forms, you know, it's
it's the fastest growing part ofour brain from zero to 18
months.
And so that's storingeverything, and that's
(11:38):
pre-language.
So that's encodes your emotions,you know, all that, all that
information that we can't evenverbalize.
It's just there.
Right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (11:50):
And it's just so fascinating.
I'm sure you see this with thepeople that you work with and
coach, but I think some peoplewould be surprised to know how
much, like you just said, zeroto 18 months, how much is
getting encoded, how much aboutour inner child is sort of
hardwired within us and how itcan start to reappear at any
(12:10):
point in adulthood, you know,and so it feels and seems so
disconnected and so random.
But really spending time andworking about and going through
about the process of integratingthe inner child, um, I would
love for you to kind of diveinto that and why that's
actually so important and howreconnecting with that part of
ourselves can help to regulateand manage stress, even in our
(12:30):
professional lives.
Like it sounds crazy, y'all, butthat that childhood you still
hanging out.
SPEAKER_00 (12:36):
It is, it is.
And even just like five or 10years younger versions of us,
but I didn't really understandthe inner child when I first
heard about it.
I was like, what is this?
Some pop psychology.
Like, I don't understand.
So, but I love it now.
So the inner child, if you wantto think of the inner child,
it's a combination of things.
(12:58):
So, you know, our hippocampus,our limbic system, our amygdala,
and the essence of who we are.
So when people, well, in thiscontext, when we're talking
about the inner child, you'll begoing through life and you
experience something.
And, you know, people say likethey talk about big T trauma
when something really badhappens, or they'll use the term
(13:21):
small T trauma, where we feellike we're in a traumatic event,
we'll feel like we're threatenedand we're isolated, but maybe
our perception of it um doesn'tmatch reality, but we still have
that impact.
So when we're talking aboutinner child, we're looking at
what happened, an event thathappened, or something that
(13:41):
happened that taught our brainsum information about how the
world works, how other peoplework, how we are, and we needed
to do something to survive.
And like, say for example, likeyou're in school, you know,
you're like what, seven andgiving a presentation at school,
and you get up and you give thispresentation, and the kids laugh
(14:03):
at you because you forget aboutwhat you say we're supposed to
say, and the kids laugh at you,and you're embarrassed, and you
just want to go home and theymake fun of you.
Well, that's that's a big dealfor a kid.
That's that can destroy them.
And so they can remember likelittle Timothy sitting there
with the, you know, whatever,like looking at them.
(14:24):
Well, their brains learn it'snot safe for me to speak up.
I I am the type of person whoforgets things, and people are
gonna judge me.
And that's wired in their brain.
So they will take that andmoving forward.
So you can you can practice, youcan willpower, you can give
yourself like positive talk.
But when you go to give apresentation in the future,
(14:44):
you're still gonna have likethese things like, oh, they're
gonna judge me, they're gonnastare at me like this, I'm
gonna, I'm the type of personthat forgets what I say.
So when you go back and you workon those aspects of you and see
what's really going on, and thenmake it safe, because again, you
can't logically, you can't justlogically address this.
(15:05):
You need to soothe your nervoussystem.
Right.
And when you do that, you canlearn a new way, you know, teach
yourself a a different thing aspossible.
SPEAKER_02 (15:15):
I love that that you're saying you don't have to
just force your way through it.
That by actually like taking apause and thinking about like
what those triggers could be,what were the instances, what
are the what are the truths,what are the narratives, what
are the stories, it seems likesuch a more lasting way than
just powering through.
Yes, you know, faking it tillyou make it, you know, it feels
(15:38):
like that would be a lot.
Um, so we've got a couple oflive listeners with us today.
So hi friends, thank you forjoining us and listening live.
We always love it.
If you have questions as we'rehaving this conversation that
you want to get from, you know,answered by Jill, please ask
them.
That's why we have you here.
We love to ask, give, and growwith Together Digital.
We always want to make surethat, you know, you all are
being heard and you're gettingwhat you need from the
(16:00):
conversation.
Um, so my next question isactually on behalf of our
members who I know struggle alot with um the supposed
imposter syndrome and which isreally just self-criticism.
Um, can you share a specifictapping technique that they
could possibly use?
We're talking aboutpresentation, so maybe this is
like what's a tapping techniqueI could use right before a big
meeting or presentation.
(16:21):
And I'm like literally coldhands, numb arms, heart racing.
SPEAKER_00 (16:27):
Yes.
Okay, so for presentationspecifically, I would recommend
to like tap on it before themoment.
Okay.
You know, when you're in, um,but right before the tapping.
So we always start on a side.
Do you want me to go through thetapping points to tell what
they're doing?
SPEAKER_02 (16:42):
Yeah, let's start there.
That's absolutely.
And um, let's like make surewe're framing reference for
those who aren't watching aswell, obviously, that are just
listening.
Thank you.
That's a good reminder.
SPEAKER_00 (16:52):
Yeah.
So we start with the side of thehand.
So if sometimes you'll hear itcalled the karate chop point.
So if you think about takingyour hand and like physically
chopping a piece of wood, itwould be this end side of your
palm.
So you tap on there.
The next tapping point is thetop of the head.
So if you were to take yourfingers on your ears and draw a
(17:15):
point to the top of your head,it's there.
Next is inside the eyebrow.
So it's there on both sides.
So like right where your eyebrowmeets the bridge, the top of
your nose.
And next is outside the eye.
So kind of kind of near yourtemple.
Next is oh, and also I have aworksheet that I can share, like
(17:40):
a little graphic, so you don'thave to memorize this.
But next is under the eye on theorbital bone.
And then is that spot betweenyour nose and your lip.
And next is on the chin, likethat bump, you know, where your
chin starts to go out, rightabove that.
(18:01):
And then next is a couple incheslike under your collarbone.
You know, there's like kind ofthat softer area.
And next is under your armpit,like a hands with a hands width
down, kind of where your bra is.
So those are the points in thebasic recipe.
So when you're going through,you don't have to do all the
(18:21):
points, but you can.
But like you're nervous rightbefore a talk, right before we
logged on here, I did it.
Uh, but you can tap on the sideof your hand and just
acknowledge what you're feeling.
So, like, even though I am sonervous, I accept that I feel
this way.
Even though I feel like I'mgoing to forget everything and
(18:45):
mess it all up, and everyone'sgonna think I'm an idiot.
I am safe right here, right now.
Even though I'm not gonna knowwhat to do, and I'm probably
gonna get fired and it's gonnadestroy all my credibility.
You know, just go off.
I am safe right here right nowbecause all the things come out.
You know, you can do that, andlike if you're you can most
(19:06):
people and then go through thepoints and just say what you're
feeling and say, I'm open to itbeing easy.
Or you could just not even say athing.
Um, and this is great to gothrough the tapping points if
you're comfortable doing it inpublic, or if you have like a
spot where you can like bealone.
Yeah, but if you're notcomfortable doing it in public,
(19:27):
you can get away with doing itin private.
So, like if I'm in a bigpresentation setting, like
especially when I was like inthe reserves and I wouldn't want
to like sometimes I did, butlike if it was a big group, I
would sit there because you canhave your hand in your lap and
just push, just push on thesepoints.
And you know, if you're like ifyou're doing this on a tapping
(19:48):
point and like touching the sideof your eye, or like just
rubbing your head, nobody'sgonna know what you're doing.
These are normal humanbehaviors, yeah.
So, and you just think I am sostressed out, or you know, just
I'm open to being calm, but Ifeel really scared right now.
So I love that.
SPEAKER_02 (20:08):
It's like so cash.
I know one of my therapists inthe past years, and I think I've
mentioned this on the episodebefore, had taught me like
taking and like if I'm in ameeting, like just taking my
hands and I've got my headphoneson, so they're in the way, but
like putting my hands on top ofmy head like that, even just the
pressure to like around, butthat is a topping point too.
And like you said, like thetemples, it's such a hmm, I'm
holding my chin.
I'm just thinking, you know,like you really can sort of
(20:30):
subversively do it.
Yes, and those moments.
I love that so much becauseyeah, not all of us can step
away.
And again, even as you've beenshowing like the hand things,
like you guys that are watchingright now can see me from the
chest up.
You can't see my hands, so youcan't tell if I've been doing
the tapping on my hands oranything like that.
So, yeah, there's a lot ofreally cool ways, I think, that
(20:53):
you can kind of do it if youcan't get away and do it
privately.
So I love, love, love thosetips.
That's awesome.
Um, we did have a comment.
Um, oh Candice was saying she'sbeen following Nick Ortner.
Did I say his name right for awhile?
But I don't understand thedifference between EFT and a
good massage.
That's and then I was like, allthese points you're messaging or
(21:16):
telling us about Jewel.
I'm like, that's why I likefacials.
SPEAKER_00 (21:18):
Yeah, yeah.
They're all touch.
So if you're so massages that goon your pressure points will
also relax you.
Um, you can use EFT in differentways too.
So there's like you can do it toyourself, but you can you can
work through like big events orfears, you know.
(21:41):
You like a massage and EFT areboth really good for overall
relaxation of your nervoussystem.
I would use EFT if I want torewire neural pathways.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
I love it.
I love it.
Um, oh, let's see, we've gotmore questions.
I love it.
And yes, you're welcome,Candace.
Thank you for chiming in.
We love it.
Um, for Bell's palsy, facialparalysis, any tips?
Great question.
SPEAKER_00 (22:05):
Ooh, so like in terms of helping with it, I
would imagine so, yeah.
So one of the things tapping isoften used for physical issues.
And what I would do is startwith whatever emotions are
(22:25):
around it and start withaccepting it.
Like, for example, um, I would Iwould if it if I was working
with you, I would say, eventhough I have facial paralysis,
I accept that this is how I am.
Even though I don't want to havefacial paralysis, I am safe
right here, right now.
You know, validate your currentcondition and then dig into the
(22:50):
emotions that you're havingaround it.
Because a lot of times we'llhave physical symptoms and then
we'll have emotions and stressabout having those physical
symptoms.
Yeah.
And that makes it worse.
So letting yourself be okay withthe fact that this is how it is,
(23:11):
like any transformation, right?
Any physical, mental, emotionaltransformation, being okay with
where you are and accepting likethere's nothing wrong with me.
This is my reality.
I'm gonna stop fighting myreality and stop putting all
this energy into it.
That is the first step in anytransformation from what I have
(23:34):
learned and seen.
SPEAKER_02 (23:36):
I love that so much.
Um, it reminds me of, and it'sso funny because my daughter,
gosh, she's 12, but she's sowise for her age.
And I had told her about thetheory of the second arrow, and
I think it's like a Buddhistprinciple or philosophy or
something.
I can't remember exactly where Iheard it, but um, definitely in
the camp of like mindfulness,and it's like beware of the
(23:57):
second arrow.
The first arrow is like whensomething happens to us and the
pain of what that thing is, thesecond arrow is the pain of like
trying to not acknowledge andaccept what happened to us.
Like you double the pain.
It's the second arrow, and it'slike you've literally shot it at
(24:17):
yourself when instead it's like,can you find a way to um accept,
acknowledge, embrace, hold spacefor that pain?
And then, like you said, kind offind other ways to kind of calm
your nervous system, let youtell yourself know that you are
you are safe.
I do wonder too, with like umBell's palsy and facial
(24:37):
paralysis.
I have I actually have a friendwho um was diagnosed with that.
Um, gosh, it's been over adecade now.
Um, I guess if you have any kindof like numbness or paralysis in
your face, does tapping thosepoints in your face still work?
I'm not sure if that's what youwere trying to get at with your
question, Z, but I was just kindof curious.
SPEAKER_00 (24:55):
Oh, I don't know.
I would I would think so.
But I'm not familiar enough withwith facial facial facial
paralysis and bell's palsy toknow.
But it's the tapping on themeridians.
So as long as the the I want tosay messaging, but you know, it
(25:16):
sends signals through our thenerves, right?
SPEAKER_02 (25:18):
Right?
Yeah, it's like the muscles areparalyzed, but maybe the nerves
are obviously still receiving.
SPEAKER_00 (25:23):
So maybe that, and there's also alternate points.
And then, you know, once you'reonce you've you know, you can st
I would still tap on them, youknow, I would still tap on them
and see if they'll go through.
And then you can also haveconversations with parts of
yourself, so you could say, thisis like after you've been okay,
but like, you know, what isthere anything you want to tell
(25:46):
me?
You know, you could talk tothese physical, like when people
have like any pains in theirbody, a useful technique is to
like have a conversation withthat part of you, like it's
another person.
And see, is it storing anyemotion inside of it?
Because again, like the secondarrow, there's layers on top of
it.
SPEAKER_02 (26:05):
Layers, yeah.
Um, good point, Z.
She says all the points um thatyou showed are also acupuncture
points or acupuncture points.
100%.
It's all related to like thenervous system and where the
body emits.
Like it's it's so funny.
Like we often think, and peoplewho've done biofeedback, you
know, are familiar withbiofeedback know this too.
It's like we think that the bodyor the brain informs the body,
but it's not that.
(26:26):
Like the body actually informsthe brain more than anything.
So it's like if your heart ratestarts to go up, your brain
starts to panic and fear sets inbecause your body responds to
both excitement and fear in thesame way.
And so, like, that's one trickI've always had when I have to
speak or do something that makesme nervous.
I'll be like, I'm not scared,I'm excited.
I'm just really excited to behere.
(26:47):
And then my body's like, oh,okay, well, this feels like
excitement, sure.
And that's the brain taking overand saying, okay, listen, body,
you're not gonna hijack thismoment.
I'm gonna tell you instead ofyou tell me.
But oftentimes it really goesthe other way.
And really learning how to payattention to like your body
sensations and heart rate arereally, really important.
Um, we did have one otherquestion about how hard do we
(27:09):
tap?
SPEAKER_00 (27:10):
Oh, that's a great question.
You do not have to tap thathard.
There is no correlation betweenlike if I tap really hard, I'll
get results faster.
SPEAKER_01 (27:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
Uh just a gentle touch, you know, don't it, it
should not hurt you.
And you can you can tap oneither side of the body, both
sides.
You know, I just do, and if youcan't hit every tapping point
because you have like some kindof discomfort, right?
Just skip it.
SPEAKER_02 (27:35):
Great question, Z.
And a good reminder for me thatI need to go back to acupuncture
because oh my gosh, it is thebest thing for stress and
anxiety, in my opinion.
Awesome.
All right, let's see.
My next keep the questions andcomments coming, folks.
We love it.
Um, you know, I think you andand a lot of folks that are kind
of in this space, which I loveto hear, really believe and
(27:56):
understand, like what you weresaying earlier is acknowledging,
right?
Aware and acknowledge.
So all emotions serve a purpose,even the hard ones, right?
Especially the hard ones, right?
The ones we want to ignore orpush away or avoid.
How can we shift from avoidingthe uncomfortable emotions and
actually start to learn fromthem?
SPEAKER_00 (28:16):
Yeah, that I love that.
So I truly believe that thereare no negative emotions.
They're all a message, just likeinformation.
Like we feel angry when we'vebeen, there's an injustice, you
know, or sad when there's grief.
But they can also feel veryuncomfortable and like we can't
handle them.
(28:36):
Um now when we we do have atendency to numb out, and I will
say numbing out is an adaptiveresponse because sometimes we're
not, we don't have the capacityto feel it, and our body will
numb out.
And I'll say, in that case, letyourself numb out, but again,
tap on it, you know, be gentlewith yourself.
Say it's okay that I'm numb.
(28:56):
When I'm ready, I'll be able toheal, you know, I'll be ready to
feel it.
So you make it safe.
And when I went through mydivorce, I spiraled for a bit
really hard.
Like it was the great thing, butyou know, you still like have
the a loss of what you wanted,right?
Like the dream of what your lifewas gonna look like.
And it felt overwhelming.
(29:18):
And I think this is why we tendto avoid emotions a lot because
it can feel like too much, and Ican't handle it.
So, what I did is I did a lot oftapping on, even though this
feels terrible and I can'thandle it.
I know I can handle it, youknow, and make it okay and
validate again, validate howterrible it feels and give
(29:42):
yourself compassion.
You know, say, I choose to showmyself grace.
Because trying to shift out ofthis, like I think a lot of
times we'll like emotionally tryto bypass or spiritually bypass
and say, Oh, well, I'll focus onthe good.
You know, the this serves apurpose.
Purpose or this is part of God'splan.
(30:02):
But if you do that withoutprocessing the emotions, you're
just gonna bury them in a like arock inside of yourself.
But letting yourself feel it andtapping will give you like
soothing or some other, youknow, you could do meditations
or visualizations, making itsafe for you to feel the
(30:24):
emotions will let you movethrough them.
And then you can learn fromthem.
Because when you're when you'rebeing triggered, you you cannot
learn Jack.
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (30:35):
Yeah, because your body's gonna body and do what
it's going to do because it islike you said earlier, it's in
tidal flight, flee, freeze orphone, whatever, all the things
that there are that we couldpossibly do in those moments.
And I love that.
I think the acceptance is such abig part of it.
I think listening to our bodiesand learning our feelings, it's
such an important thing becausewe have such limited language
(30:56):
around our emotions.
There's a great book out there.
If you all haven't hardly readit or haven't heard me recommend
it before, Atlas of the Heart,um, by Brene Brown.
Everybody knows her by now.
But the book itself just reallytalks a lot about the lack of
language.
So like you were just talkingabout your divorce, and whatever
comes up with that, I alwayshear, I always remember her
term, disenfranchised grief.
(31:18):
Whereas like we give such honor,space, and presence and sympathy
to people who are have a lossand like a death in the family
because there's acknowledgedgrief, grief.
But when it comes to things likelosing a pet or going through a
divorce or anything else, losinga job, it's very
disenfranchised.
We're not allowed to grieve.
(31:38):
We have to like pull up our biggirl pants and we got to go back
out there and try to figure outlife after going through a great
loss that has its own process.
So I definitely recommend ifyou're looking for ways in which
you can bring even language tolike know how to acknowledge
what you're feeling, that's areally good one to check out.
All right.
So this next question I'mexcited to ask because I have
(31:58):
family members who've been inthe service and who've gone
through basic and deploying.
Um, and I think a lot of folkswho are listening probably know
that the in the military showingvulnerability, probably not
always encouraged, right?
Um, how did your own journeywith emotional regulation
challenge what you learned aboutstrength and leadership, kind of
coming from that space and intothis space, which feels very
(32:21):
different and more vulnerable?
SPEAKER_00 (32:23):
Yeah.
You know, I think it actuallyreinforced what I know about
leadership.
Um so, you know, when you'rewhen you're in a leadership
position, and I think this istrue for military, corporate,
you know, whatever, you know,owning your business.
Stakes are high.
Yeah.
And when you're in charge, youneed to lead with a vision and
(32:45):
with confidence and instill thatconfidence in your subordinates.
Like you have a job and badthings also happen.
You know, you're you're gonna bescared if losses happen.
Like there are bad things thathappen.
And there is a time and a placefor processing that, but like in
the moment, like when you losesomeone or when something bad
(33:10):
happens, that isn't the momentto show to fall apart as a
leader, right?
So I think in cases like that,you compartmentalize, you set it
aside, you help your peoplemanage it because they're
feeling it too.
You know, you provide, just likebeing a parent, you provide them
(33:30):
with what they need at themoment.
And then after you process, youyou do what you need to do, you
talk to your peers, you talk toyour mentors, you work, you work
through your own things.
And what I've learned sincelearning about EFT is just how
important uh nervous systemregulation is to do that because
(33:55):
like your nervous system is likea container, right?
And this container can handle acertain amount of stress.
Like you pour more in and it'sgonna overflow.
The only and you're not gonnalike reduce the amount of liquid
that you have to hold.
The only thing you can do isincrease your container.
So you can increase yourcapacity by learning how to like
(34:17):
build your confidence, regulateyour nervous system, give
yourself a bigger container, andthat allows you to be a more
level-headed, compassionate, uh,better decision maker, be a
better leader overall.
Present.
Yes, more present.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you know, and I think it'sit's fine to like admit, you
know, like, yeah, I don't knowhow this is gonna work out.
(34:38):
We're probably gonna screw itup, but you know, things, bad
things are gonna happen, butwe're gonna figure it out.
Right.
So I think the two actually gohand in hand.
But being vulnerable in theappropriate time and place with
the appropriate audience.
Yes, yeah, yes.
SPEAKER_02 (34:54):
And I think that's like to your point, like that's
where the inner work has tohappen, right?
So I think strong leaders aretypically the best leaders in my
mind, are very like emotionally,like they have a great emotional
regulation and um the ability tolike think, speak clearly, to be
very present, um, to have thatsense of confidence.
(35:14):
And I think maybe what you'regetting at is like, it's not
like, and it always requiredvulnerability.
It's just that some people kindof just have it innately a
little bit more, and then othersjust need like us, need some
more practice or tools to kindof help us feel all of those
things so that then we can showup in the way that others might
need us to in order to lead whenthe stakes are high.
(35:35):
Um, I love that.
It's such a cool, interestinginsight.
And again, I think I hope thatit helps our listeners find that
way and that path towardsgetting beyond like the fear,
the uncertainty, or the scarcitymindset, even by kind of taking
into these sort of practices.
Because I think in our industryspecifically, like digital
marketing and advertisingagencies, especially, we're kind
(35:57):
of constantly in crisis mode.
We're running from one fire tothe next.
And I think, you know, burnout'sa big word that gets thrown
around, honestly, a lot thesedays, but definitely within our
industry.
I think we tried to define itfirst.
It's I'm pretty sure it's theonly time somebody in any
industry ever just died at theirdesk from stress was because
they were working at an agency.
Um seriously, it was like 10years ago now, but yeah, it
(36:18):
happened.
Um, but what is the differencebetween like these acute stress
responses versus like chronicnervous system dysregulation?
I think it's an important thingto kind of dive into a little
bit more for those of us whomaybe are listening and sort of
not sure is this anxiety, am Ideveloping some PTSD?
Like, is there something moregoing on here that I really need
(36:40):
to know that I need to geteither more help, put into more
practices into place, thingslike that.
SPEAKER_00 (36:45):
Yeah.
So an acute stress response iswhat our bodies are built for.
So we'll have somethingstressful happen, we'll
experience uh symptoms, anxiety,maybe trouble sleeping, um,
appetite symptoms, you know, thethe normal things.
But the the effects willdissipate.
It could dissipate within hours,two to three days.
(37:08):
Um chronic is it keeps going,keeps going, keeps going.
So if if your symptoms don'tdissipate after a couple days,
definitely I would recommendseeing a mental health
practitioner, seeing a doctor.
Um we are just not built tohandle chronic all the time.
It's like it's like sittingthere in park with your foot on
(37:31):
the gas pedal, just uh, youknow, after a while, that
engine's gonna stop.
And you have to tend toyourself.
SPEAKER_02 (37:40):
That's a great, great analogy.
Sitting in the car and park andjust running out of gas because
you're just pushing that gaspedal so hard.
Oh, I know so many of you thatare listening feel that right
now.
So yeah, 100%.
And again, I think looking outfor and asking for help.
It's funny.
We talk about, I mean, we talkabout mental health a lot in
Together Digital.
We definitely try to create thatsafe space for vulnerability and
(38:02):
openness.
And I even try to model that aswell because I think it's just
so, so important.
Um, but because it's like I seeso much where it's that thin
line, right, between that acutestress response and that chronic
nervous system dysregulation,you can easily just kind of tip
over into that side.
And I think knowing thedifference and not just calling
it burnout, I think maybe that'swhy burnout bothers me because
(38:24):
it's to me, it's like aspectrum.
And it's like, at what point doyou need to just stop the whole
like, oh, it's self-care andsome extra sleep and hydration
versus no, I need to go asksomebody for actual help and get
help.
SPEAKER_00 (38:36):
Yeah, you know, yeah.
There can be such a stigmaagainst it too, sometimes.
Like I know um on one of mydeployments, like I couldn't
sleep.
I couldn't sleep at all.
I just was not, and I was like,this is a problem.
You know, after about a week,I'm like, I'm only getting like
a couple, like I cannot, I'mexhausted and I'm not sleeping.
(38:57):
So I went to see the doc.
And uh, you know, he had um abiofeedback machine and that was
yeah, but we had one of theleaders in our unit, he was like
making fun of the people whowent to see the doc.
And I'm like, he's helpingpeople, yeah.
So I think when that happens,it's important to see, you know,
pay enough attention to yourselfwhen you know you need a little
(39:21):
something, and don't worry aboutwhat other people say about it.
Exactly.
You're your number and it'll itcan like mine a couple couple
times, and I was good with thatbiofeedback, but you know, you
never that's great.
You need to take care of you.
SPEAKER_02 (39:37):
Yes.
Well, it's I also equate it to,you know, the the brain does not
know the difference betweenphysical and emotional pain.
It really doesn't.
And the way the body responds, Imean, if you just look at like
the the like the way like youwere just saying, the body
starts sending blood, like thebody freaks, the brain says,
(39:58):
okay, we're gonna move bloodfrom here to here.
Like literally your body is yourbrain is doing, telling the body
what to do to get you to likerespond, right?
And that can become so hard.
So it's almost like if you had abig old gash on your leg,
literally need stitches,bleeding everywhere.
Like you wouldn't be like, nah,you know, the stigma of the
hospital, not great.
(40:19):
Stitches, like, oh come on,please.
That's so woo.
I'm not doing that.
Nobody would say that.
They would go to the freakingdoctor and then get stitches and
antibiotics and everything elsethat they need to heal that
wound.
And so I think we need to startthinking about our emotional
wounds as like wounds that wecarry.
You just can't see them.
And, you know, asking for andgetting some sort of help, like
(40:39):
you shouldn't diminish that.
Just because somebody can't seeit doesn't mean that your body
is not feeling it.
You know?
SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (40:46):
So I love that story of the biofeedback and you know
how it helped you.
I'm kind of curious throughoutyour practice and the what
you've been doing for others, ifyou have a story for yourself or
other people where you've hadlike a powerful transformation
that you've seen or you feltwhen somebody finally learns how
to truly regulate their nervoussystem.
SPEAKER_00 (41:06):
Oh my god, yes.
I mean, a lot.
Yeah.
I can share.
I'm sure.
Gosh, me, me, is this is the thethe one that I always remind
myself on like, you know, whenyou have the hard days and
you're like, why do I evenbother?
And I think about wait, I'm afunctioning human.
Because um, I didn't always usedto be.
(41:29):
And you know, I think like whatwe see on paper and our
accomplishments on papersometimes belie what's going on
underneath.
Absolutely, yeah.
Um, because for me, I had I hadan abusive uh family member, and
so I had like a pattern of lowconfidence, right?
But I still was functioning.
(41:50):
But you know, when you get intothese patterns, you tend to
repeat the relationships, andyou tend to get in unhealthy
relationships for you orrelationships that don't work
for you.
And before I was in a veryunhealthy relationship, and but
I wasn't leaving, and I got tothe point where I was
(42:12):
emotionally chucked out, and Ithink it's I'm sorry, it's kind
of hard to talk about this, butit shouldn't be like uh I used
to numb out a lot and I turnedto alcohol, you know, I'd put my
daughter to bed, I would drinkway too much, and then you know,
I was just kind of goingthroughout my day being a zombie
(42:32):
and a ruck.
And I really spiraled and I Ihad these dreams about having
like a business and doing allthese things, and it just wasn't
happening.
And then I learned thesetechniques and the advanced
techniques, and I startedworking with someone on the
inner child work and feeling myemotions.
(42:54):
Like, I my first session, I Icried for the first time in like
years that I can remembercrying.
I was like, Oh, there's a lothere, yeah.
And you know, just workingthrough that has been such a
shift.
I was I was with my tappingmentor the other day.
She goes, Do you understand?
Like, you're a completelydifferent person.
You would show up a hot mess,yeah, crying.
(43:17):
Like you couldn't, you weren'tfunctioning.
And now I have like a a place Ilove, a relationship I love,
relationship with my I mean, mydaughter and I were always
close, but you know, we're asshe's getting older, we're we're
still super close.
I have a business that I love,like things are working, and I
feel so calm and comfortable.
(43:39):
And it's just that feeling whenyou're in a hole and now you can
breathe.
Yeah, like I think everythinghas changed, and that's why I
feel so strongly about this workand what it can do.
SPEAKER_02 (43:51):
Oh, thank you for sharing.
I love it.
We love hearing the personalstories and experiences because
I know somebody that's listeningis very is relating hard right
now, like is very much like,yes, that is me right now.
And to be able to see somebodythat's on the other side of it
that found the tools and thethings that help them kind of
like you said, kind of get outof that hole.
Um, it's so great.
It's so, it's super inspiring.
(44:12):
Um, on that note, like, how doyou respond to those who are
kind of skeptical and maybedismiss tapping as like woo,
unscientific, um, whatever theywant to try to say despite all
the evidence out there?
SPEAKER_00 (44:25):
I just laugh.
I'm like, okay.
You're the one missing out.
So sorry.
Yeah.
I mean, there's so manyscientific studies.
Like, if someone asked me, like,and they're actually being
curious, I'd be like, well,yeah, there's all these studies.
SPEAKER_01 (44:38):
Like, sure.
SPEAKER_00 (44:39):
Uh you can look up the science, but if they still
don't believe it, you know, youcan try it and feel the
difference for yourself.
But if not, I mean, I've beendoing this work for what, 10
years now?
Yeah.
And a lot of that I was in thearmy.
And so people were like, that'scrazy.
Like, even my closest friends,they're like, that's nuts.
And I'd be like, you arestressing me out.
Right.
(44:59):
But let me tell you, even today,because you know, I shared about
this uh our interview online,and one of my girlfriends even
shared and said, I I was askeptic.
We used to joke all the time,but I found myself doing it in a
meeting.
Like, uh-huh.
So if they don't want to do it,that's fine.
It's good.
I do it.
My clients do it, like it'sgood.
I hope they find something thatworks for them.
SPEAKER_02 (45:21):
Right?
Well, right.
You're like, yeah, bless yourheart.
Um, but I do, I really feellike, and it's such a I love
that.
If for those who are skeptical,just try it.
I, you know, because it's one ofthose things, it's like it's
such a simple thing to do.
Um, and so on that note, like itbeing kind of a simple thing to
do for somebody who's curious,um, or maybe overwhelmed, what
(45:42):
is kind of the simplest way tostart incorporating EFT into
maybe like their daily routine,you know, again, just to kind of
explore and try it and see howit feels.
SPEAKER_00 (45:52):
Yeah.
So you can just you can just tapwithout even talking, just tap
and just let whatever come up,come up.
Um I know a lot of people whoactually recommend doing like
three minutes of just uh nowordless tapping.
Okay.
And just you can do it if youwant to use like scripts or
videos, there's a ton.
(46:13):
Like you can like tap if you'rejust starting out and you don't
remember the tapping points.
I like using a video is supereasy.
So I have a ton on YouTube.
You can just like tap along withthe person and change the words
to whatever feels good for you.
And once you get comfortablewith it, you know, you can just
do a few minutes a day and seelike how it is.
(46:35):
And yeah, then you can just makeyour own make your own words up.
SPEAKER_02 (46:39):
I love it.
So it's almost like uh elevatedform of meditation in some ways.
SPEAKER_00 (46:44):
Yes.
There's a lot of tappingmeditations too.
You do together.
SPEAKER_02 (46:49):
Yeah, it's so much fun.
Oh, I'm gonna be on the YouTube,so I'll be checking you out.
That's so awesome.
I love it.
All right, I have a couple powerround questions before we wrap
up for the day.
Um, these are kind of some fun,quick questions, rapid fire
stuff.
Um, but again, live listeningaudience, if you have questions
still, we've had a lot of goodchat that everything, like thank
you for everything.
This is amazing, plus all thegreat questions we've had.
(47:11):
Thank you so much, everyone, forlistening and for asking your
questions and for commenting.
Um, but yeah, as we go throughthese questions, if you've got
any other last minute ones forJewel, please drop them in the
chat.
All right, what is your go-totapping point when you need
instant calm, Jewel?
Collarbone.
Collarbone, okay.
SPEAKER_00 (47:28):
At top of the head, too.
I like tapping the head incollarbone.
SPEAKER_02 (47:31):
But yeah, so you can't.
Like if I'm driving.
SPEAKER_00 (47:34):
If I'm driving, if someone cuts you off, I'll be
like, Oh, that's so good.
SPEAKER_02 (47:39):
Yeah.
I like it.
No, I'm not I'm never gonna justI'm just never gonna stop
tapping now.
It's so good.
All right, what is um the mostunexpected place you've done a
quick tapping session?
SPEAKER_00 (47:53):
Um probably the plane.
I wasn't planning on it, but anaudio book I was listening to
triggered me.
And so I was like, and then Istarted crying.
SPEAKER_02 (48:05):
I, oh my gosh, Julie, I needed this three weeks
ago when I was sitting on anairplane crying because I was
extra hormonal.
I had a long week at aconference.
My like nervous system was sofried, and then the the San
Diego airport shut down for 14hours because a plane like lost
a part of its nose or somethingcrazy.
And I was like so ready to behome.
(48:27):
And I knew I was going to atleast get to Salt Lake City, but
there was a good chance I wasgonna miss my connecting flight.
And it was the longest, mosthellish, most nerve-wracking
three hours of my life becauseI'm just watching the time and
like everything took longer.
Loading the bags took longer,loading the plane took longer,
and the whole thing I can seeyour face.
You're already really um, andand I'm just literally sitting
(48:47):
there crying on an airplane.
I'm gonna grown ass crying on anairplane because I just want to
be home and I know I'm going tomiss my flight.
And I totally did.
I missed my connecting flight by20 minutes and got stuck over
it.
And I mean, you know, we've allbeen there, but it is just so
like I I wish and maybe weshould have had this
conversation a few weeks ago.
I'd have been just tapping thehell out of my face.
People would have been like, butyou know what?
I'd rather be tapping myselfthan crying on an airplane.
SPEAKER_00 (49:11):
I was doing both.
And the like flight attendantwalked by, like, oh honey, I'm
like, I'm good.
SPEAKER_02 (49:16):
Start process.
And thank you, Candace.
She's like, all of us have criedon an airplane at least once.
Thank you.
unknown (49:22):
I'm not alone.
SPEAKER_02 (49:25):
All right.
I love this next question.
If your inner child could giveyou your professional self, one
piece of advice, what would youplay more?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's great advice.
Way to go.
Yeah, Jewel.
All right, complete thissentence.
Emotional freedom feels likewhat?
SPEAKER_00 (49:42):
Moving through life with your own soundtrack.
You know, like I'm I realizewe're also gonna be on the
podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (49:53):
Bay can't see us.
You know what?
I can imagine other peoplelistening in the car right now.
They're like, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (49:58):
Like the Emperor's New Group.
SPEAKER_02 (50:01):
Right?
I love it.
Oh my gosh, Jewel, like I said,this was such a much needed
conversation.
Y'all, this week and last week,you gotta listen to last week's
episode too.
That was so good.
I think these conversations arejust like it's been like the
universe saying, okay, this iswhat we need to hear, ladies.
This is what we need to betalking about.
Um, but thank you so much forjoining us today, Jewel.
All of these techniques, youknow, again, it's so simple and
(50:24):
yet so transformative on how wecan literally tap into calm and
clarity, confidence.
It's such a gift to thiscommunity.
And, you know, it's a little bitof something that we all need.
So for those of you that arelistening, I encourage you to
even just try one little tappingexercise today.
Even as you've been listeninghere, maybe you've been trying
it.
Let us know how it's feeling,let us know how you're feeling
(50:46):
and know that it's not aboutpushing it, pushing through or
pushing it out.
It's about giving ourselves thetools that we need to feel more
like ourselves again.
So if you've connected withJewel and you want to learn more
about her work, um, you can findher on LinkedIn.
Um, and then we'll also includethat link in our show notes.
Is there any other place thatthey can find you, Jewel?
SPEAKER_00 (51:05):
Yeah, so I have a website.
I mean, I've YouTube, but on mywebsite, um, there's a really
good tapping.
You can opt into uh tapping forself-compassion that just really
helps.
Like if you beat yourself up alot or you know, I love that's
one of my go-to's.
So jewelsebert.com.
SPEAKER_02 (51:25):
Jewelsebert.com.
Typing in URL now.
All right.
So remember all of ourrecordings of our podcast
sessions are available for freeon YouTube.
Um, also our podcast.
If you haven't yet, umdefinitely leave us a review,
subscribe, all those goodthings.
It really helps us continue tocreate this content and share
messages like these.
And if you're not a TogetherDigital member yet, I highly
(51:47):
recommend it.
I know I'm biased, but justtrust me.
Um, I'm a product of thecommunity itself, as well as
Jill shared with hertransformation with over um 60
professional developmentopportunities throughout the
year, including master classes,peer groups, and our amazing and
supportive online community.
Thank you all for joining us inthe Power Lounge.
Until next time, everyone, keepasking, keep giving, and keep
(52:07):
growing.
We hope to see you next time.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.