Trandescendant

What does it actually take to hold a family together across a divide most people would call too wide? After over three years of conversations with parents, children, pastors, priests, scientists, scholars, and LGBTQ+ people from across the spectrum, Joe and Rya keep coming back to the same simple thing that saved their own relationship in its hardest moment. Whether you're a parent whose child just came out, an LGBTQ+ person t...

What if the voice telling you you're not good enough isn't even yours? Professional figure skater, Stef Vachon came out at 18 and thought the hard part was over. But years of bullying had already buried themselves so deep that freedom didn't feel like freedom. He walked away from his greatest passion and spent decades lost in anxiety, carrying shame that was never his to carry. Joe and Rya sit down with the host of t...

You probably imagine the worst when you think about LGBTQ+ life in a small town. Rya lives in a Midwestern town of 1,300 people where she knows her neighbors knows their dog by name. Most people there just don't care that she's trans. They've got their own lives. But the real trade-offs are loneliness, few local resources, and feeling like the only queer person for miles. Joe and Rya share practical ways allies can m...

"Being gay is unnatural." If you've ever had someone throw that line at you in a conversation about LGBTQ+ people, you know how hard it is to respond in the moment. Do you have the facts to tell them why they are wrong? Dr. Pete Gasper, a veterinary scientist with over 20 years in biomedical research, reviewed the most current research and came back with an answer that leaves no room for doubt. Whether you're de...

In 1863, San Francisco made it a crime to wear clothing "not belonging to your sex," with a fine of up to $500. That and other laws gave police the power to arrest drag queens and anyone who didn't look "right." And while the specific statutes have mostly been struck down, the same logic lives on in bathroom bills and restrictions on legal gender recognition. After 163 years, why does the state still thinks...

If you've ever been told the Bible has no place for people like you, you're not alone. For many who don't fit neatly into male or female categories, scripture has been used as a weapon of exclusion. But what if that's not the whole story? Joe and Rya explore the biblical category of eunuch, people who broke gender rules and became some of scripture's most celebrated heroes. The arc they find moves from &quo...

There is a stone between you and someone you love. Maybe one of you placed it there out of fear that faith has no room for who the other is becoming. Or maybe the stone was placed by silence, weeks and months where the real conversation never happened and you both learned to live on opposite sides. The good news is that the stone was never meant to stay. Acceptance rarely happens one small rolled-away moment at a time. We look for ...

You love your child. You're trying to protect them. But what if the way you are treating the relationship is the very thing driving them away. Most parents who lose their relationship with their LGBTQ child never saw it coming because everything they did felt like good parenting at the time. Joe and Rya unpack the difference between influence and control, and why one builds trust while the other quietly destroys it. If you&apo...

When you think of LGBTQ-friendly places, small towns probably aren't the first thing that comes to mind. But what if the stereotype is wrong? Across America, towns with populations under 6,000 are becoming more and more welcoming. Joe and Rya share surprising stories of small town acceptance that counter the narrative we've been told. In this episode, they bring us positive stories of affirmation where we would least expe...

What happens when a state passes a law designed not to protect anyone, but to attack people who already exist? Kansas just showed us. And if you think it stops there, you're not paying attention. If you or someone you love are love are trans, or if you believe that cruelty shouldn't be passed off as policy, this is the one you need to hear. It's worse than you think, and it's not stopping at Kansas.

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You've been meaning to find a therapist. But every time you think about it, the questions pile up: Can I trust them? Can I afford it? How do I know if I've found the right person? It's enough to make you put it off another month. Another year. You deserve someone who won't treat your identity as a problem to solve and won't leave you feeling worse than when you walked in. If you've been stuck in that &...

"God made them male and female." It's one of the first verses people reach for when they want to argue that being transgender goes against God's design. Rya spent two decades not knowing how to reconcile her gender struggles with what the Bible says... until she learned she didn't have to choose between them. In this episode, she and Joe look at what scholars actually say about Genesis 1,  not to twist the ...

Maybe you're having a hard time accepting a loved one who came out. Maybe you're the one who came out. Either way, the relationship feels stuck and you're both waiting for the other person to make it better. It's too easy for us to fall into a pattern of silence, thinking we will keep the relationship from getting worse. But here's good news. We don't have to resolve everything to stay connected. We do...

So much of what we've been told about "the gay agenda" is overblown. Most LGBTQ+ people aren't asking for you to change who you are. But here's the hard truth that loving families need to hear: good intentions don't cancel harm caused You can love your child deeply and still be hurting them. Joe and Rya speak directly to parents and family members who say "I love you, but I can't support this...

“We're just trying to protect the children.” It sounds so reasonable. But throughout history, this same phrase has been used to justify targeting marginalized people. When lawmakers claim to protect kids while ignoring actual trans children, protection starts to sound a lot like rejection. Trans kids are children too. They hear every word adults say about people like them. Real protection starts with listening to our kids and ...

When your child comes out, the fear you feel isn't really fear. It's just uncertainty. Joe knows because he lived it when Rya came out. His struggle for acceptance wasn't instant. He knew their relationship would go through challenges. But what he didn't expect is how they would grow closer through it. In this episode, he shares the tips and tricks he's learned since Rya came out. And he reveals his most im...

 In 2001, a book told the story of outcasts who were mocked for their height, their weight, and how they looked. They ran for student council, called themselves the No Name Party, and lost. But they convinced their principal to start something no school had done before. It sparked a movement now in its 21st year. Name-calling seems like a small thing until you see how much damage words can actually do. Joe and Rya share why breakin...

Have you ever met someone who fully supports their gay friends but gets uncomfortable when trans issues come up? The same people who celebrate Pride and fight for marriage equality often have a completely different reaction to transgender rights. Joe and Rya break down the psychology behind this contradiction and explore why trans people trigger fears that gay and lesbian people don't. Understanding why transphobia feels diffe...

Some things about LGBTQ+ life will never change, and that's actually good news. When everything feels uncertain, we need to know what's worth fighting for. How can we separate the noise from what actually matters? The good news is that some things hold steady no matter what happens next. And we have good reasons to anticipate changes for the better. If you're tired of feeling anxious about the future, this episode of...