Episode 8

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I got the whiskey. Let me have a drink of your whiskey.

(00:03):
Better get out of here. My name's Ken and I clean Willie Nelson's
underhull. Underhull?
I know you don't agree but I think he's the king of country.
Get the fuck out of here. Get out of my studio.
No, hell no. From the Ramona radio studios, it's the

(00:27):
Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country Show.
Alright, welcome to the Outlaw Country Show. I'm Travis Billy
Ross with me today as always. Sweet curbs.
Hey, hey. Hey, hey. And we also got Cassie Goforth with us.
Hello. How are you, Miss Cassie?
I'm doing good. How are you today? Doing good. And also with us as always,

(00:48):
Eric Goforth. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hey. Hey. What's happening?
Alright, so today's episode is brought to you by Outlaw BBQ.
Dean, Outlaw BBQ. We love you, man. We love your barbecue.
He does all kinds of crazy events.
Speaking of hot stuff, right? Outlaw BBQ.

(01:11):
Hot stuff. Heck yeah. Give him a call today. 858-354-7712.
Book your next event. Party. BBQ. Always the good stuff.
Nobody wants to party with salads. They gotta have the meats.
Cut stuff. And Dean's got them.
Alright, so today's was going to be a very special show.

(01:32):
Unfortunately, there were some shipping issues if you listened to our last
episode. Sweet curbs won the contest as always. Which is bullshit.
Which really benefited me this time. Yeah, right.
This was a good one to win. She's like, oh, I wanted that one.
So unfortunately, due to shipping issues and tattoo gun needles,
they're hard to come by these days, I reckon. No, not really.

(01:56):
No, the post office just closed today. Yeah, yeah.
Holding my stuff hostage. The post office.
It's always closed on Sundays. It's always closed on Sundays.
We didn't plan ahead. Yeah. We should have got it yesterday.
But you know what? We are procrastinators and that's what we do.
Because we drink a lot. Your Father's Day gift is there too.

(02:17):
And the stupidest ideas are usually spontaneous. Right after drinking.
Right after these. About hour one fifteen into the show.
After you've been drinking a lot. But I do want to say that I've become
a little more educated on exactly what I proposed last week.
Okay. And so I'm really, like, I'm a little nervous.

(02:42):
Let's dive into that, Eric. Yeah, okay.
Educated how? What did you think was going to happen with your tattoo?
Well, so I don't know why, but I kind of thought.
Pup, pup, pup, pup, pup.
At some point I remember hearing Kirby talk about this new tattoo thing

(03:05):
that she's got going on and you and her and Travis and Kirby were playing
and we thought that was a little silly.
Somewhere I heard that it is a tattoo, but it really only lasts like a few weeks.
Well, I did say that because some of mine are very shallow
because we didn't know what we were doing yet. We've been practicing.
So you can imagine my, well, two surprises.

(03:28):
One, I was surprised why you guys were making such a big stink out of big tattoos.
Yeah, you wanted giant tattoos. I'm like, where's my order?
I don't know, the size of a half dollar? A whiskey glass?
What a big one.
It was so funny when I saw your face when I was telling you, I was like,
no, bro, these are permanent tattoos. This is like needles and real ink and shit.

(03:52):
The best twist, who refused to believe you?
He was thinking I'm joking with him. He's like, get out of here.
We will be bonded for life, Eric.
So let me tell you why some of these things fade away.
Like a couple of the ones that I have is because they're on my hands.
And usually, like if you do a palm tattoo, that doesn't last very long at all.
A lot of tattoo shops will not do your palm or even I have a ring on my finger

(04:16):
and my tattoo artist would only do the top part of my finger.
He wouldn't do in between or around the back.
Because he said it's a waste of money. It's going to fade out.
They wear off, they fade off because your skin grows really fast on your palms.
And you're always using it.
Right, right.
I think you got confused there, Eric.
So good thing for you, the tattoo gun needles didn't show up on time.

(04:37):
Or at least you know now where to pick. You can do your finger.
He's still committed.
I'm committed. Shame on me for not asking all of the pertinent questions.
I thought you guys would have been kind enough to say, hey, look, before you propose this.
Eric's tattoo is just going to say, is this permanent question mark?
They will be talking about you.

(04:59):
You guys heard the surprise in my voice when he said that was the deal.
I would have expected Travis to say, you know, they'll be talking about this in your eulogy.
Or something. But no, he didn't bother.
He just sat there and let me.
You know what, man, the way I feel about it.
But you know what, I'm a man of my word. I lost.
You're on.

(05:20):
Actually, I didn't lose. I don't know how. I didn't lose or win.
We volunteered the whole team.
Cassidy and I just got suckered in. We just got pulled in.
But you know what? It's really cool. Here's the way I think and feel about tattoos.
I feel like, you know, it's it's if it means something to you, part of your life or whatever,
a thing that you're going through in your life or any whether it be fun or bad or good,
it's just something to remember this time. You know what I mean?

(05:43):
Like it'll be there forever.
And this has been a great time doing this show with you guys.
And I think I agree getting a tattoo all together in the same.
I think that's friggin amazing. All right.
So we're not doing tattoos today. So sweet curbs.
Tune in next week, though. We are doing definitely definitely tune in next week
because we are going to get the correct needle.
So now the dilemma is the dilemma is Travis get a penalty or do I get a reward for today?

(06:09):
Yeah, for today. Yes, for today's show.
What would you like sweet curves, a reward or do you want me to be penalized in some way,
shape or form? Do I have to say George stretch the king?
Well, no, that's old news. We have to think of something else.
Like my girlfriend's a shining star in the world and I'll say that anyway.

(06:30):
Oh, look at you. Stupid points.
That's that's called getting points. I don't know.
It wasn't in our manual. But what would the reward be?
That's what I'm saying. I got to know to weigh the pros and cons.
Do I want a reward? What's it? What's in it for me?
Queen Kirby is how he has to open every segment. Call you Queen Curb.
No, I don't like that. Because he already calls me sweet curves.

(06:51):
Which is better. It really is better. Sweet Queen Curbs.
No, that's not me though. I'm just sweet curves.
All right. Well, let's let's play a couple songs.
We will discuss in the studio. We're going to mold that around.
We'll mold that around. We'll play a couple songs and sweet curves.
We'll think about what she wants to do because it's your day because you won.
Some ideas are spinning. So we'll be back. All right.

(07:14):
So what are some good songs? Let's do some songs about tattoos.
We'll find some. We'll find some.
Whiskey River Take My Mind
Don't let her memory torture me
Whiskey River don't run dry

(07:37):
They're all I got to take care of me
Whiskey River take my mind

(08:01):
I'm drowning in a whiskey river
Bathing my memory mind in the wetness of its soul

(08:23):
Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind
And leaving hard you left so cold

(08:49):

(09:25):
I'm drowning in a whiskey river
Bathing my memory mind in the wetness of its soul
Feeling the amber current flowing from my mind

(09:49):
And leaving hard you left so cold

(10:13):

(10:43):
Yeah

(11:11):
The only two things in life that make it worth living
Is guitars that tune good and firm, feeling women
I don't need my name in the marquee lights

(11:33):
I got my song and I got you with me tonight
Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love
Let's go to Lucanbach, Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys

(11:55):
This successful life we're living got us feuding like the Hatfields and McCalls
Between Hank Williams' pain songs and Blueberry's train songs
And Blue Eyes crying in the rain Out in Lucanbach, Texas

(12:16):
Ain't nobody feeling no pain
So baby let's sell your diamond ring
Fives some boots and faded jeans and go away
This cold and tired choking me

(12:40):
In your high society you cry all day
We've been so busy keeping up with the Jones
Four cargo rides and we're still building on
Maybe it's time we got back to the basics of love

(13:03):
Let's go to Lucanbach, Texas with Waylon and Willie and the boys
Between Hank Williams' pain songs and Blueberry's train songs

(13:28):
Let's go to Lucanbach, Texas with Willie and Waylon and the boys

(13:51):
Between Hank Williams' pain songs and Jerry Jeff's train songs

(14:12):

(14:42):
Outlaw Women by Hank Williams Jr.

(15:12):
No warming up, no sound engineer.
Everyone close your eyes please.
Look that way.
Alright, hold on.
He's like, wait, I usually at least have a stage.
That's what it is.
It just needs more of a spotlight.
I was not prepared for this.
Hold on.

(15:45):
Well she works in the bank and she works in the store
And she don't go that old stuff anymore
She likes to get high and listen to the band

(16:09):
She likes to make love with her kind of man
Outlaw Women, the first of their kind
Outlaw Women, they got here right on time

(16:34):
Outlaw Women, they don't need any gun
Outlaw Women, they're just out for fun
Well anyway, she's a lot like me

(17:10):
She don't give a damn about society
She might be a little rich girl or she might be poor
She might be a married woman that needs a little more

(17:35):
Outlaw Women, the first of their kind
These Outlaw Women, they're riding high in 79
Outlaw Women, they don't need any gun

(17:58):
Outlaw Women, they're just out for fun

(18:20):
Some call her a lady, some call her other names
But you won't ever call her that around me in my game
Alright there you go, Sweet Curbs.
So cool.
Thank you.
Hey Kirby, I think we all won on that one.

(18:41):
I know, I appreciate your reward.
I think you should do that a few more times tonight.
I'm just saying.
Oh man.
Yes.
Get out of here.
We're going to have to make that a regular.
Is that the first time you've performed live in the studio?
Yeah.
Wow.
What's so silly?
I mean you're like the country artist in the whole region.

(19:04):
You better get out of here.
I love you man.
I've got a little TBR romance.
There's a lot of love flowing around.
I'd ask Kirby to share but she'd beat my ass.
Well it wouldn't be sharing with just me like I said there's a few bromances brewing out there with old TBR.
Right?
I'm a man's man.
No.

(19:25):
That was awesome.
That was really cool man.
Thank you.
That was cool.
Yeah, thanks Sweet Curbs.
I appreciate that.
Well don't act like you enjoyed it so much.
It's supposed to be a punishment.
She might come up with another one.
I like that.
Now you have to say George Straits the King of Country.
At the beginning of every segment.
Back to square one.
Back to square one.

(19:46):
George Straits the King of Country.
I'm just kidding.
You gotta say it regular.
Alright, say it like you mean it.
No.
That's right.
Alright Sweet Curbs, quick question.
If you were stuck on an island somewhere, right?
Let's say there was like a time thing, right?
Ten years.
You're stuck on an island for ten years.
And you had one song that you could listen to or bring with you.

(20:11):
One drink, one food, and one person.
What would those four things be?
Well you would be my person.
Aww.
You'd be my person too.
He has kids, y'all think about that.
No, I'm just kidding.
They're grown.
They're grown.
They're doing their own thing.
I'm totally kidding.

(20:32):
At this point they wouldn't be choosing him either.
So, you?
No.
I promise.
Probably cheese, because I love cheese.
I really could eat cheese every day.
Cheese is delicious.
It's so good.
Drink?
Tito's and soda.
Tito's and soda, okay.
And if it has to be just one singular item, probably White Claw or Truly, something like that.

(20:56):
If it can't be a mixed drink, you mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, because.
Oh, okay.
I mean, yeah, does she get the ingredients for the drink?
I mean, so you're there for ten years, so there's like, let's say, 150 gallons of something like Tito's and soda.
Remix.
All right, I'll take 75 soda water, 75 Tito's.
Right, I know.
I'm like, hopefully I'm somewhere where there's limes growing.

(21:17):
If all she's bringing is cheese with her, we're going to have to parachute X-Laxon, too.
Something, yeah, yeah.
Well, hopefully there's coconuts on that thing.
There's coconuts, yeah, yeah.
That's a natural X-Laxon.
That's a natural X-Laxon.
And then artist or one song?
One song, it's on repeat 24 hours a day.
One song?
Oh, that's a tough one, isn't it?
For ten years.

(21:38):
One song, wow.
Now it's on repeat all day long or I can just play it whenever I want to play it?
No, repeat.
Okay.
It's over these mysterious loudspeakers you can't see.
I feel like any song on repeat for ten years, you're going to eventually just hit your head on a rock.
You have to.
Yeah.
All right, let me see.
I think the option should be whenever you want to play it.
Yeah, because I would go insane after about three weeks.

(22:01):
That's what they call torture.
Yeah, that would be torture.
That's called torture.
Yeah, I mean, I love, you know.
Honestly, then my song would be.
One song on the band.
Because I could listen to it forever and it's such a fun song as Devil Would Down to Georgia.
From a previous episode, we know that you've already done that.
And I know all the words, so we're good to go.
She has nothing left to learn though.

(22:23):
Maybe choose a new one.
So at least you got ten years to learn it, right?
I'm going to fashion a fiddle out of palm leaves and a stick and then learn to do something, play along.
I'm going to come visit her island for the show.
Oh man, that would be great.
So, OK, so you said.
Can I have one extra item?
Like just a luxury item?
Like one miscellaneous item?
Yeah, because if I'm on an island, I'm an Irish redhead.

(22:44):
I'm going to need some sunscreen.
Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud.
Yeah, she's going to be covered in mud.
Man, yeah, that's a.
You ever watch that show?
Where they're naked. Naked and afraid. Naked and afraid.
I never understood it.
I don't understand why it couldn't be called like bikini and afraid.
Like why do you have to be naked?

(23:05):
I understand stripping you down completely.
But if you're in a bathing suit.
Because you know how many things you could use that bikini string for?
So maybe the rule is you don't get to use any of it.
That is just your cover.
Well, I don't know. They do provide them stuff like they have a satchel and stuff like that.
They get one luxury item like people bring flints and people bring knives.

(23:26):
No, it's always flint and a machete.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The best one, though, is like speaking of being on a deserted island, the people you can use whatever washes up on shore.
So like shirts washed up, they put shirts on.
They got a water bottle. They used it to make like a filtering thing.
Do you know how much stuff there is in that ocean?
But on that same episode, the poor gentleman was a redhead and the lady was from Hawaii.

(23:50):
Oh, and he was so sunburnt the first day because think about parts of your body that aren't normally exposed to the sun and you're buck naked out.
And then the elements blisters.
Yeah, he got he was like out of commission for like after the first day for like three days recovering from like a serious sunburn.
Sunburn, sun poisoning. Oh, oh my God. Yeah.
All right. So you said Tito's and soda is the drink.

(24:13):
You Tito's and soda, cheese, cheese, double went down to Georgia.
Ladies and gentlemen, Kirby's perfect life.
I'm a simple lady.
Oh my God.
You're with me. You get your luxury item. I mean, you get all your double.
So what would I say?
So what you already know my drink. I want some whiskey.
That'd be great.

(24:34):
Right. He's a spice of life.
I like some. I like about 150 gallons of gentlemen. Jack. I'll be good.
Let's see something that I could bring.
If I was able to bring a guitar, I would be music forever.
But you can still play the one song on the guitar. Double went down to Georgia.
Your song.

(24:58):
You only get one song.
Now we get to play one song. That's lame.
You don't get this. You don't get to come up with a workaround.
No, no workarounds. Right.
OK, so no guitar, obviously. So damn, that would suck.
But where's the music coming from? Is this like just a seetheory?
What's it called? Hitting camera situation where we think we're stuck and there's like speakers in the phone.
Yeah, it could be coming from the Truman show.

(25:20):
There's a monkey in the tree with a boombox. Monkey in the tree. No.
Song. Who really likes country music?
Song. I think I would probably pick country boy can't survive. Hank Williams Jr.
Sweet. That'd be a good one.
All right. So you would be my also my next pick also.
What would your food be? Potato.
Cheese and potatoes are delicious together. I'm down with it.
No, you know why I would choose a potato? I'm like, wait, do we get to share if we get there with the person?

(25:44):
Wait, if I get a potato, I can make pretty much anything out of that.
I can make fries. I can make mashed potatoes.
Couldn't we use a potato to filter water?
It'll be like that scene from Forrest Gump. There's a lot you can do with potatoes.
You know what you can do with shrimp? Grow more potatoes.
You can do shrimp gumbo. Yes, you can grow more potatoes with a potato.
Jumbo shrimp. Cut those eyes right off.
Barbecue shrimp. Barbecue shrimp.

(26:05):
You can do that all with a potato too.
Yeah. All right. What else? What was the fifth one?
You said guitar, me, potato.
OK. Country boy can survive.
What else? Jack Daniels. Oh, no.
Yes, gentlemen. Jack. OK.
So you got your luxury item. Yeah, that's all I need, man.
All right. You know what? I think that's all we would need to make a good country song.

(26:27):
Potatoes, gentlemen. Jack.
I'm writing it down. I got this guitar. I'm going to.
No, I'm just kidding.
We'll break up the song. I'm going to write a song about potatoes.
Potatoes, a deserted island. Country boy can survive.
And Jack Daniels whiskey. Oh, man. That's a country song right there.
All right. But all right. So obviously you would take your spouse.

(26:51):
I would take mine as well. But if you couldn't, what? Maybe a celebrity.
Now, Cassie, you're in an awkward situation because if you don't want to take him.
Oh, no, Cassie. I kind of like my alone time.
Cassie's like, I would find a deaf mute guy on the street.
I'd get a walkie talkie so I could talk to him every once in a while.
Cassie would like I would like Helen Keller to go with me.

(27:16):
Somebody that doesn't talk to my animals constitute.
Oh, how bad is it if it was my animals?
I don't know if I would take Titan or my turkey.
That's my dog, by the way, our dog.
Probably take Titan because he could probably learn how to hunt.
I mean, he's a stupid ass dog and he doesn't know how to do anything.

(27:37):
But the turkey lays eggs. Oh, that is true. We have food.
And they do taste like chicken eggs. Y'all, I've tried them.
I've tried them, too. They taste like that.
But that might end up having to be your food then.
So you'd have to give up your cheese. Yeah.
But the only problem with that is that I can't.
Well, how long have you been doing this?
I've been doing this for a long time.
I've been doing this for a long time.
But the only problem with that is that I can't.

(27:59):
Well, how long do turkeys live?
Because we're there for 10 years.
Well, when it stops.
So when we got our turkey,
I looked it up and it said domestic turkeys.
Males can live seven to nine years and females, eight to 10 years.
Eight to 10. All right. So we're going long.
We're going hopefully this week.
Turkeys are going to last 10 years.
Because I'm eating eggs.
I'm going to be one egg a day.
Five, babe.

(28:20):
Best diet I've ever been on.
Oh my God.
Can you imagine what the cave would smell like?
If we're just eating eggs.
Come on.
Oh my God.
Oh God.
This whole segment just took a full on left hand turn.
It always does.
It always does.
It always takes left hand turns.
It always does.
But it's how we roll.
Welcome to the Travis Billy Ross Outlaw Country Shop.

(28:42):
All right.
What if you had to bring a celebrity?
One celebrity.
Kirby can't go.
She's got a prayer engaged.
Do they have to be alive or dead or just anybody?
Anybody?
You got to spend 10 years.
Ah, with a celebrity.
I like Cassie's idea of somebody not being able to talk.
Charlie Chaplin then.

(29:05):
No, Beethoven, man.
No, that bitch.
I could play him songs all day.
That's true.
That sounds great.
He's like, I'm getting a musical mentor.
Thumbs up, thumbs down, good up, good up, down.
Oh my God.

(29:26):
Where are we at?
What the hell?
What is this show about?
I don't know.
What are we doing here?
I'm not sure any of us know anymore.
All right.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's listen to some music so we can figure out another topic here.
Because that was actually a good one.
I appreciate that one.
All right.
I've always thought about stuff like that.
All right.

(30:13):
Where we drag raced our pickups and mustangs
And weathered all the sun and rain
And to this day up on that old mirpass
Even underneath the new paint
You can still see
Allie, will you marry me?
I take a ride in the morale

(30:35):
And there ain't no doubt
It's your left, it's marked on us
We sure left our mark on it
We let the world know we were here
With everything we did
We laid a lot of memories down
Like tattoos on this town

(30:58):
...
There's still a road burn on that old branch
That hangs over the river
I still got the scar
Swinging out a little too far

(31:20):
There ain't a corner of this hattled ground
That we ain't laughed or cried on
It's where we loved, lived and learned real loud stuff
It's everything we made of

(31:41):
...

(32:04):
Everywhere there we are
It hits me right in my heart

(32:27):
...
We'll always be hanging around
...

(33:01):
...

(33:26):
There's still black marks on that county road
Where we drag raced our pickups
And mustangs
And weathered all the sun and rain
And to this day up on that old repast
Even underneath the new paint
You can still see
Allie will you marry me?

(33:49):
Take a ride looking around
And there ain't no doubt

(34:10):
...
There's still a road burn on that old branch
That hangs over the river

(34:31):
I still got the scar
Swinging out a little too far
There ain't a corner of this hattled ground
That we ain't laughed or cried on
It's where we loved, lived and learned
Real loud stuff
It's everything we made of

(34:54):
...

(35:16):
...
Everywhere there we are
It gets me right in my heart

(35:38):
...
We'll always be hanging around
...

(36:00):
...
...
..
..

(36:22):
..
You've come to tell me something
You say I ought to know
That he don't love me anymore
And I'll have to let him go
You say you're gonna take him

(36:44):
Oh, but I don't think you can
Cause you ain't a woman enough
To take my man
Women like you, they're a dime a dozen
You can buy them anywhere
For you to get to him
I'd have to move over
And I'm gonna stand right here

(37:07):
It'll be over my dead body
So get out while you can
To take my man
...

(37:32):
Sometimes a man's caught looking
At things that he don't need
He took a second look at you
But he's in love with me
Well, I don't know where that leaves you
Oh, but I know where I stand
And you ain't a woman enough

(37:53):
To take my man
Women like you, they're a dime a dozen
You can buy them anywhere
For you to get to him
I'd have to move over
And I'm gonna stand right here
It'll be over my dead body
So get out while you can

(38:16):
To take my man
No, you ain't a woman enough
To take my man
Alright, oh man, good old Loretta Lynn
In my opinion also, queen of country
I'm just kidding, Dolly Parton, get out of here

(38:38):
I mean, she's up there
No, no, no
I might take Dolly on an island, honestly
Dolly is my queen of country
But if someone else said the Loretta Lynn
I couldn't dispute it, she's amazing
She's a close second, I love the Loretta Lynn
Close second, yeah, okay
Did we get to you, Cassie?
No, we kind of half joked
What would you bring on that island, Cassie?

(39:00):
Well, yes, Eric, of course
No, I said I need my me time
You guys are so cute
Oh gosh, but
What if it's a celebrity?
What celebrity would you take?
I think I would take Dolly
She's just the sweetest person ever
And she's not going to be a pain in my ass
I just read a story about Dolly Parton

(39:21):
It was on Facebook, so I don't know if it was true
But based on what it was, it sounded like it was
And it was funny, she was doing a concert
And this drunk man in the back of the auditorium
Wherever she was playing yelled out
I love you, Dolly
And she yelled back
I love you too, baby, but I told you to wait in the truck
See, it's not like she's
Yeah, I don't know
That wouldn't suck, really

(39:43):
Out of all the celebrities you can think of
There's a lot of prima donnas out there, man
That's funny, that's awesome
All right, so Dolly, what about your drink?
Your one food item
The drink, come on, you gotta get the drink
My drink
What was your drink, Eric?
Because she's got a plan
Wait, I wasn't ready

(40:04):
Eric saw, Eric saw
I drink twisted tea
He'd probably just pick straight tea
And then I'd have to get vodka so I could make myself a twisted tea
That's probably absolutely true
Yeah
We're used to ordering in restaurants
I would just be out there making sun tea all day
Tea?
He'd bring iced tea and I'd bring vodka

(40:26):
There you go
You can ferment anything with any kind of sugar in it
Right?
So, I would, you know, back in the trees
I'd have all kinds of stuff ferment
So is your food sugar cane?
Oh, you'd have whole moonshine factory
This has happened
I wasn't brewing for a long time
He started with figs
Let me see, yeah, now if you're bringing sugar

(40:48):
That helps
I'm having potatoes too
Hey, we can make vodka with potatoes, you know that
Oh, potatoes
There you go, but I already got Jack Daniels
Do you still need some form of sugar to get that fermentation?
Or some yeast
Coconut, you're on an island
Coconut, yeah, that works
Coconut vodka, that doesn't sound bad
No, no

(41:10):
I've had a coconut rum
Which actually leads kind of to my song
If there's sugar cane and coconuts
You're making rum for sure
Rum's getting made
Which is actually probably my go-to drink
Spiced rum
Oh, and then you can do rum and the coconut water
Hydrate, electrolytes
Do you use sailor jerry's or Captain Morgan?
Have you ever had the sailor jerry's?

(41:32):
He likes both
Yes, I do
I like sailor jerry's
He likes both
Malibu
There's Bacardi
There's Captain Morgan
Those are the spiced rums
I do too actually, I like the spiced rums
I'm not a rum fan, but if I had to have a mixed drink

(41:54):
With rum, it would be spiced rum and like
Coke or something, yeah
You know what's really good? Spiced rum with Dr. Pepper
Sounds weird, but
I just prefer some pineapple juice
Now the most versatile I think
Is still vodka, just vodka
Goes with anything
I was on a business trip once and me and my buddies
Went out to the bar for a while, we came back
And we started saying that vodka goes with everything

(42:16):
I got pictures of us drinking
Vodka milk
I do remember that
I would venture to say that'd be the one thing
It doesn't go with it
Bad
What do you call them? White Russians?
There are cream based vodka drinks
But there's sweetness in that
Just vodka and milk sounds terrible
No, there's vodka, Kahlua and milk

(42:38):
I think at that point vodka quite literally
Could have gone with anything and we would have celebrated it
If milk was the last taste test you did
I was probably like, by the time you were doing
That experiment
By the time we were doing that experiment
The whole vodka experiment had been going on
That was like nine vodkas deep, everything tasted good
To my buddy Chad, if you're out there
I still remember my friend
I still remember my friend

(43:00):
Scoop some of that pool water, we're going to try this out
Oh, it's still been great, vodka goes with everything
Let's see, now what am I going to make you listen to forever?
Yeah, what song would you do?
Knee Deep
Zack Brown
That's a good song
I love the island country kind of thing
Have you heard Zack Brown, that song Down in the Island?
Yes, I love that one too
Down in the islands

(43:22):
Down in the islands, down in the islands
If you wanna go
What is the other one you guys sing?
I'm a big Zack Brown fan
No, it's a Zack Brown song
Oh, Toes, Start Over
Oh, Start Over, that's a good one too
That was when Zack Brown kind of went into
Jimmy Buffadera
Yeah, he went into the Buffadera
And Alan Jackson got in there

(43:44):
John Hancock was saying, what was he calling it?
Beach Country
That was when Zack Brown kind of went into that
Good stuff
I'm a Zack Brown fan
What about you, honey? What are you gonna torture me with forever?
What are we doing?
Well, yeah, drink, I think we covered the drink
What else? Oh, food
We got a food thing
You said Sugarcane

(44:06):
What song are you gonna torture me with?
Probably this one
So we've been told
So we've been told
Do I really still have to take
Kermit the Frog
So do I
Do I really still have to take
Kermit the Frog
Sing a Rainbow Connection
See, I'm very shocked that it wasn't

(44:28):
Millie Vanilli, blame it on the rain
I thought it was gonna be Millie Vanilli too
There you go, welcome to my island
Oh my god
It'd be just Kermit singing
Just Kermit the Frog
Jim Henson stuff
Because I would just laugh

(44:50):
We got Kermit and Zach Brown
But we've also got Sugarcane
And you can make
10 years
People are gonna come visit our island
Just because we have Sugarcane, we can make rum
You'll have rum after 6 months, you're set
We're set
You'll be fine
Gotta have some kind of way to make us still
Oh man

(45:12):
Have you ever made beer?
Oh, I had a big brewery for a while
I have too, I've made some home brews
It's pretty fun actually
I really liked it, the science of it
The whole deal, oh yeah
I had the scopes
Remember how we were talking about mad scientists
Last week? Yes
That's why I said this fits, you don't even understand
Yeah

(45:34):
I got my American Pale
I got it down so good
It's my favorite
We should make a Ramona radio brew
A Ramona radio brew
We should commission that
We got the know how
You know how to do it
We both know how to do it
We still have some of the equipment, we don't have the big equipment anymore
I still have most of the beers

(45:56):
Let's just use one of those
What do they call them, the low voice?
The glass jugs? Carboys
That's for the fermenting
I'm not gonna do it, I don't have the time
You don't have the time
But if somebody wants to make a beer
For the Ramona radio
I'm a pale ale guy
Are you listening?
If you want to commission a beer

(46:18):
We will get behind you 100%
It'll be cool
It'll be fun
We're throwing it out there
You'll have to share your recipe
And see if they can replicate that one honey
Yeah
Anyway
I digress
We were all talking about hypotheticals
I think that's gonna be the theme to the show

(46:40):
Because the next hypothetical
Let's just imagine for a second
That
There's 10 days left
Of the world
What are you doing?
What are 5 things that you would do
In those 10 days that are left?
Let's say there's a meteor coming for the earth
Or something like that
Or whatever, who knows

(47:02):
I'd hope both of us would go to Texas and see our family
You wanna see family first?
That's cool
You know what's crazy?
The girls will always take it very seriously
They go straight to the heart
We're doing stupid shit
You know what I'm saying?
I wanna try $3,000 Jack Daniels
You know what I mean?
You can do that with your family

(47:24):
We do, we've had some of these strange conversations
He just wants me to dream with him
And be silly
And I'm like, no I have to go see my family
I have to get in touch with my kids
I have a lot of stuff to do
If I did not have a family
If I was a lone wolf in the world
Buy a Land Rover
Buy a Land Rover?
And only be able to drive it for 10 days?

(47:46):
Who cares, I don't have the money to buy it anyway
I'll figure that out
She would steal
I would go default on my credit
And say screw it
I wouldn't buy a Land Rover
I would buy, this is actually what I would do
If I had no family
And no ties to hold me down
I would buy a giant luxury motor home
And I would just drive all over the country for 10 days

(48:08):
And do all the little bucket list shit
All over the world
I mean the country that I've always wanted to do
Go see the world's biggest ball of twine
World's biggest frying pan
Just stupid shit
The world's biggest cookie?
Yeah, all of it
Things like that?
The world's, what's that one?
The world's biggest mud ball or something like that?

(48:30):
I'm sure it's somewhere
Where's that ball of twine thing at that you just mentioned?
I don't know
So the only reason I know that is because
There's a movie with John Travolta
It's called Michael and he's an angel
But he's like a weird quirky angel
And he does all this stuff and they go see the world's biggest ball of twine
Let's look
I remember that movie
People come from all over to see that Baker thermometer

(48:52):
Oh that's in Baker
I drive by that all the time when I go to Las Vegas
And I've seen it millions of times
And that's a huge draw, it's crazy
It's the world's biggest thermometer
And it's always freaking hot
Every freaking time I've driven through there
It's always at the peak
Do you know what I would do?
The world's biggest ball of twine is in
I think it's

(49:14):
Pronounced Cocker
C-A-W-K-E-R, city, Kansas
I'm cool with that
But here's what we're saying, if I have no family
What else am I going to do?
She says if I'm a lone wolf
In the world, that's what she's going to do
Realistically, if at this moment
I found out there were 10 days left in the world
I would get on the first plane to Texas
I would get all of my friends and go square dancing

(49:36):
Square dancing
He wants to Alabama left
Swing your partner
Tie a yellow river around
We can do that right now
I know
Swing your partner round and round, grab him by the butt and boogie down
My sister and I
That was
Our fourth grade version of knowing how to square dance
I remember that

(49:58):
In like second grade doing the square dancing stuff
I did it in fourth grade
And I never got to do the recital
Because we learned them all and it was supposed to be a thing in our auditorium
With all the fourth graders and our parents were going to come
And then I got strep throat and I didn't get to go
Oh Kirby
Have you not ever square danced since?
No
Bucket list
I can do-si-do like a mofo though

(50:20):
You just wait
I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to showcase
We are going to host a square dance tonight
I've been practicing
28 years
So that might be day two on the
Second day of the 10 day
Of the last day
That's funny
Day two, square dancing
Bucket list, square dancing

(50:42):
I mean Kansas City, that seems like a pretty country place
If I go see the world's biggest ball of twine
I'm sure there's somewhere I can do-si-do
I'm sure there's somewhere you can go square dancing, do-si-do
See, I started something
The ideas aren't that dumb
You know what I'm saying?
I dig it
Alright, let's play a song
Alright
I could spray paint a love you on that bridge around the sky

(51:25):
And I could swear when you say it to me
There's a good chance I could fly
And I might
I might be a dream
That seems like, yeah
If it's gonna be any night
Might as well be tonight
There's this thing that you do
You don't know that it does something to me
It's in the way that you sway
That you talk, that you touch

(51:47):
That you kiss, that you breathe
That I need, you look at me, girl
You're shaking things up like you wouldn't believe
Crashing my comfort zone, set me free
It's a who-to-thought-never-dream kind of thing
Your name, your name
Just saying, I think, I think
I'm gonna put it in all my rhymes, baby
Cause with you, I'm gonna do
Quite a few things that I never thought I would do

(52:10):
Your name, your name, your name
Will be a good tattoo
Yeah
Ooh
It get in on my skin, tie me up
Make it last against the time
Cause this is more than a picture

(52:31):
That fades out of a first date Friday night
It's unerasable, un-must-take-able
Hey, everybody wants to know
Now I think I know
I'll wear it on my sleeve
I gotta let it show
Making it prominent
Cause I never wanna let you go
Sounds so good next to mine
Just saying, I think, I think
I'm gonna put it in all my rhymes, baby

(52:54):
Ooh
Yeah
Ooh

(53:16):
All my life, all I got is this one heart to give
All my life, all this time, I've been searching for this
Oh, and it looks like I found it
Yeah, I found it, found it
Brunch, ooh
Sounds so good next to mine

(53:38):
And I think, I think
I'm gonna put it in all my rhymes, yeah
Ooh

(54:02):
Ooh
Only you, baby
Only you, no
Only you, no
I married to the good life

(54:27):
I said I'd be a good wife when I put on this ring
I drive a new Mercedes, play Guinness with the ladies
And buy all the finer things
But all that don't mean nothing
When you can't get a good night's loving
Whoa, Little Rock

(54:49):
Think I'm gonna have to slip you off
Take a chance tonight and untie the knot
There's more to life than what I got
Whoa, Little Rock
You know this heart of mine just can't be bought
I'm gonna find someone who really cares a lot

(55:10):
When I slip off this Little Rock
Well, the longer if you miss me
He doesn't even kiss me
When he comes home at night
He never calls me honey
But he sure loves his money
And I'm the one who pays the price

(55:32):
When he finds this ring he'll see
He keeps everything but me
Whoa, Little Rock

(55:54):
Whoa, Little Rock
Oh, Little Rock

(56:35):
Whoa, Little Rock

(57:00):
Ooh, yeah, ooh
Little Rock, yeah

(57:21):
Down on the corner by the traffic light
Everybody's looking as she goes by
They turn their heads and they watch her till she's gone
Lord have mercy, baby's got her blue jeans on

(57:48):
Up by the bus stop and across the street
Open up their windows to take a peek
As she goes walking, rocking like a rolling stone
Heaven help us, baby's got her blue jeans on

(58:16):
She can't help it if she's made that way
She's not to blame if they look her way
She ain't really trying to cause a scene
It just comes naturally
No, the girl can't help it
Well, up on Main Street by the taxi stand

(58:40):
There's a crowd of people at a traffic jam
She don't look back, she ain't doing nothing wrong

(59:03):
She can't help it if she's made that way
She's not to blame if they look her way
She ain't really trying to cause a scene
It just comes naturally
No, the girl can't help it
Down on the corner by the traffic light

(59:28):
Everybody's looking as she goes by
They turn their heads and they watch her till she's gone

(59:51):
Heaven help us, baby's got her blue jeans on

(01:00:22):
Alright, so where were we with our topics here?
We were talking about 10 days left
10 days left
What would you do, babe?
Man
Yeah
10 days left
Well, you know, like you said though, you said you would go to your family
But then what would you do?
Would your whole family get together and go do something?
What would your expectations be?

(01:00:44):
The entirety of my immediate family is in Texas
My brother, my sister, my niece and nephews, my mom and dad
So we would probably, my sister's house is usually the meeting point
So we'd probably just all hang out in my sister's house for 10 days
That's it
And drink and eat
And go do anything
No, what's to do?
If it's the end, I want to spend as much time as I can with my family
Take them square dancing

(01:01:05):
Square dancing
Swing your partner, do-si-do
Alamander left
We can do-si-do in the living room, that's fine
They got a sound system
Do-si-do in the living room
What would you do?
Hey, you know what? I like that
I do like that, where you just sit and listen to music for 10 days
I think that's...
So wasn't the family part that caught you was the music for 10 days?
Well, I'd have the family with me there as well

(01:01:27):
I'd be like, go sit over there, I'm going to sit and listen to the music
Nobody talk
Nobody talk, just sit over there, shush
No
Cassie, what would you do?
What would be one of the ones, besides going to the family?
Yeah, no, I mean the family is huge, it kind of is
What would you do together, like as a family?
Like, if that's what you want to do as a family

(01:01:48):
I don't have those crazy ideas that, okay, we're going to get the whole family and jump off some 200 foot cliff into the ocean
No, we're not
We're going to have some cocktails, we're going to talk
Actually, I am going to try to break the Guinness Book of World Records for hugs
Hugs?
I'm the hugger
I am the hugger
What's the record?
I don't know
But what I want to know is...
But I think on Mondays I strive for that every time, for sure

(01:02:11):
That's hypothetical, but if there's 10 days left, does the whole world know there's 10 days left so everything's inundated?
Like you couldn't go do something if you wanted to?
That's interesting
That makes it a lot easier
We only got 10 days
Yeah, and if everybody in the world knows that there's only 10 left?
You know
That's just, didn't they?
I was just about to say that

(01:02:32):
Then we have a whole other situation
It's a whole different situation
You've got like, iron bars on your doors and military guards blocking your house
Why would anybody want to do anything bad like that if there was only a couple?
Because there's no consequence
10 days
There's no consequences
So, well, Kirby was mentioning she might get her teardrop tattoo
Oh, you said face tattoo, sweet Kirby
I got a gun, I know a guy
I know a guy

(01:02:53):
I know a guy
So she's going, okay, you only get nine days
So you'd get a face tattoo and finally get that teardrop that she's always wanted to get?
Supposedly, you got to do some dirty deeds to get that and I wouldn't want to do that to anyone
No
But, I mean, I might do some things that like, maybe you've always wanted to or questioned doing

(01:03:14):
But like, you know, I got to live the rest of my life with that
I would drink a glass of wine on the beach in San Diego
Lawbreaker, lawbreaker
Breaking the law, breaking the law
You know what I would do?
I would wait for the last four seconds and I'd get up in an airplane and just jump out with no parachute
Just go fly through the sky
Yeah, there's only four seconds left
And then you just, whoo, evaporate

(01:03:36):
I just fly and then it's over with, right?
Yeah
I'd probably try vodka and milk
She's like, everything's on the table
Everything's on the table
So you're telling me you'll never try vodka and milk unless it's the last couple seconds
Probably not, no

(01:03:57):
I'm talking day nine, hour 23, 59 minutes
Oh my god
Yeah, that's a good one, sweetheart
I'd probably try vodka and milk
Yeah
This girl's freaking hysterical, I love her
Oh, she cracks me up
Eric, what are you doing with ten days?

(01:04:18):
With ten days?
Ten days
I'd probably finally get my clothes off the floor
Man, I don't believe you
No, I might be
I don't believe you
Like, finally
Like, would you, this is a real thing for you
Would you go on like a final flight?
Like, would you go on like one last?
You know, I, yeah, I probably would
I would fly, I mean, a small plane
I would take the last, I don't know, three hours or so

(01:04:40):
He'll fly me to see my family
And just fly west, just fly west
And like, don't even worry, there's no gas left
Whenever it's over, it's over
Well, you're talking about like the last ten hours then
Yeah, what would I do before that?
Ten days
Ten days
Good lord
I would re-annex Sundance in the, you know, what was it?

(01:05:02):
Braveheart
Butch Cassidy
Oh, Butch Cassidy, Sundance kid
Yeah
I'd just get on a horse and go around robbing banks
Yeah
I mean, again, there's no consequence, ten days
But I wouldn't hurt nobody
And I'd walk out the front door and then walk back in and go
I'm just kidding, thanks, I'd give it back
You know, what do I do with the money?
I got ten days, I don't need it
You don't need it

(01:05:23):
But I just wanted to rob somebody
Yeah
Okay, I'm just kidding, here you go
Check that box
I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, I'm sorry
I'm just kidding
Just let me have an experience
Just let me live this out, okay?
Yeah, I'd actually slip her a note
Act scared for a moment, it's fine though
You're actually safe, you're fine
He calls ahead and makes a reservation with the teller

(01:05:44):
There's only four days left, don't worry
Is this the B of A in La Mesa?
Can I come rob you today, please?
It would be fun
I've always had this fantasy of robbing a bank
Yeah
We got four days left, why not?
Kirby and I are going to go and treat with our families
And this one's robbing banks
You know what I would like to do one time
Before the end

(01:06:05):
And this is going to sound really freaking weird
Because I've never done this
And it's a very common thing actually
I've never surfed
And I don't know why
I've lived in San Diego for...
My whole fam, well I shouldn't say my whole family
My dad and both my older brothers surf and they're pretty good
My middle brother was semi-professional surfer for a little while

(01:06:26):
Never been, never tried
Yeah
Never tried
You know what, I think you're right
I think I'd spend my last ten days
Trying to do things that I've never done
That really never appealed to me
But everybody seems to like it
So let me find out what I'm missing
Go surf, skydiving, bungee jumping
You know I have actually flown a plane before
My friend had a Piper Cub
But he's like, hey you want to fly?

(01:06:47):
I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, just grab the stick
Because there's the front and back
He's like, grab the stick
And I'm like, what do you...
So there's like two pedals
And then there's the stick
And he's like, alright
So what you want to do
Look left or right, whatever
And just try to keep the wing in the horizon
Right, right
Keep it level
So it doesn't go up or it doesn't go down

(01:07:08):
I was like, okay I got this
I'm like, sweet
So I'm flying the airplane
And he's like, try to make a turn
I'm like, dude I don't know
Like wait, how far do I push the stick?
So I kind of leaned a little bit
And I saw...
I'm like, how do I do a barrel roll?
And he's like, don't do a fucking barrel roll in this
Because this is a Piper Cub
And you'll fall out
You don't have near enough teeth, my friend

(01:07:29):
No, I mean dude it was crazy
The window was open
Like there was windows open on the airplane
And I'm just like videoing
Just free flying me up
Yeah man, that was a great time
That was a good time
I actually did get to fly a little airplane
I'm going to take you guys to go flying one of these days
Off on our little airplane
I'll go flying with you
But I...
Being in control
Coming from the girl that didn't get a driver's license till 29
Seems terrifying

(01:07:50):
Be like, nope I'm good
You're the pilot for a reason?
I'll be like, nope
You say that now
Grab that stick and either turn it left or right
Are we talking about an airplane still?
A little airplane
Oh wait, what are we talking about?
Come on sweet curves
Your mom listens to the shit we get out of her
You and Wendy are
I didn't say your stick
I just said, as you said, grab the stick
You and Wendy are on schedule

(01:08:11):
To go do a little lunch in Catalina
When?
We got to figure out a day
Someone lets me know so I can actually market it in my book
Because of details, right?
Yeah, I'll take you guys flying one of these days
It'll be fun
Alright, nerd, Eric
Nerd
Nerd
Nerd
Alright, here's the...
Ready for this?
Yeah, let's do a couple songs
What are we doing?
So I'm going to play a song by Albert Gary Lewis

(01:08:33):
Okay
He's a musician up in Julian
Oh?
Actually
So I really dig
Oh, Albert, I know who you're talking about
Yeah, Julian Albert
Yeah
Let's play a little of that
I'm a banged up bruise and lonely lumberjack

(01:09:13):
I lost her and I can't get her back
Now it's not that I lied or I wasn't true
It was little things I did and didn't do
So the working days helped steady my mind

(01:09:37):
Swing the axe and try to forget time
But I can never change what's been done
I hurt someone who's good and I watched her run
And I want her back

(01:10:03):
Yes, I want her back
The morning comes and I hang my head
By the afternoon I wish I was dead

(01:10:24):
In the evening I know I was wrong
But time, everything is gone
I wish she knew the way that I felt
Wish I could blame the cause I was dealt

(01:10:47):
But I hurt in a thousand tiny ways
I got no one but my bleeding self to blame
And I want her back

(01:11:08):

(01:11:39):
Well she hates me and I hate myself the same
Hate the prison of my own brain
I wish I hadn't lied to myself
Wish that I could blame someone else

(01:12:03):
Well the joke's on me and it's funny like a curse
Wish they'd take me away in a hearse
She'll not forgive me, I'll not forgive myself
And I'll never feel this way about someone else

(01:12:27):
And I want her back
Well I want her back
I can't get her back

(01:12:50):
I don't deserve her back
I want her back
I want her back
I can't get her back

(01:13:11):
I don't deserve her back
I want her back
I want her back
I want her back
I want her back

(01:13:34):
On a warm summer's evening
On a train bound for nowhere
I met up with a gambler
We were both too tired to sleep
So we took turns of staring
Out the window at the darkness
The boredom overtook us
And he began to speak

(01:13:55):
He said, son, I've made a life
Out of reading people's faces
And knowing what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes
So if you don't mind my saying
I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I'll give you some advice

(01:14:17):
So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
Said if you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right

(01:14:39):
You got to know when to hold up
Know when to fold up
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sitting at the table
There'll be time enough for counting

(01:15:00):
When the dealing's done
Mm-mm-mm-mm
Every gambler knows
That the secret to surviving
Is knowing what to throw away
And knowing what to keep
Because every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser

(01:15:23):
And the best that you can hope for
Is to die in your sleep
And when he'd finished speaking
He turned back toward the window
Crushed out a cigarette
And faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler, he broke even

(01:15:45):
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep

(01:16:06):
When to hold up

(01:16:28):

(01:16:50):
...
Whenever I chance to meet
Some old friends on the street

(01:17:12):
They wonder how does a man
Get to be this way
I've always got a smiling face
Anytime and anyplace
And every time they ask me why
I just smile and say
You've got to

(01:17:34):
Kiss an angel good morning
And let her know you think about her
When you're gone
And love her like the devil
When you get back home
Well, people may try to guess

(01:17:55):
The secret of a happiness
But some of them never learn
It's a simple thing
The secret I'm speaking of
Is a woman and a man in love
And the answer is in this song

(01:18:16):
That I always sing
You've got to
When you're gone

(01:18:37):
When you're gone
Charlie Pride. What's the name of that song, Sweet Curbs?

(01:18:59):
Kiss an angel good morning.
All right, babe. It looks like Travis Billy Ross is going to sing another song in the studio.
Oh, I'm so excited.
Here's my punishment, y'all.
You want to stick with the Hank theme? You want to switch it up? What do you want to do?
You know what song I would like to do.
That's not going to happen today.
So I'll give you two choices.
I wrote a song about a dive bar.

(01:19:21):
Nope, Sunbeach or Rose Avenue.
I guess we're getting Sunbeach.
Take a sip and figure it out.
What Kirby wants Kirby gets tonight.
Do I get to vote?
Because I like Sunbeach.
Rose Avenue is a really good song.
Whichever he plays.
We're talking about his deserted islands and the last ten days of your life.

(01:19:43):
You know, that is true. We were doing the island song.
I would not be sad about spending the last ten days of my life on some deserted beach.
Honestly, that'd be great. I'd be cool with that.
Zach Brown?
No, Boy Shelton.
Oh, that one.
Driving down the interstate, running thirty minutes late.

(01:20:08):
Singing Margaritaville and minding my own. A foreign car driving to the road rage attitude.
Rolled up beside me talking on a cell phone. He started yelling at me like I did something wrong.
He flipped me the bird and then he was gone. Sunbeach.

(01:20:33):
Somewhere. There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair.
This music and dancing, lovers romancing. The salty evening air on Sunbeach.

(01:20:58):
Somewhere. I circled the parking lot trying to find a spot.
Just big enough I could park my old truck. A man with a big cigar was getting into his car.
Stopped and I waited for him to back up. From out of nowhere a Mercedes Benz.

(01:21:23):
Came cruising up and whipped right in. Sunbeach. Somewhere.
There's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair.

(01:21:55):
Somewhere. I circled the parking lot trying to find a spot.
Oh sorry, I fucked it up.
I just fucked it up because this is what happens when you do it live.
You can sit in the waiting room.

(01:22:16):
I sat in that waiting room. Seemed like all afternoon. The nurse finally said Doc's ready for you.
You're not gonna feel a thing. We'll give you some novocaine. That tooth will be fine in a minute or two.
He stuck that needle down deep in my gums. He started drilling before I was numb.

(01:22:42):
Sunbeach. Somewhere.
There's a beautiful sunset burning up the atmosphere.

(01:23:10):
Somewhere.
On Sunbeach.
Somewhere.
Alright. Great job. Sorry I fucked it up sweet curves.
That's alright. Sounded good. You'll live. You know what? This is how you know it's a truly live performance.

(01:23:35):
It is a live show y'all. Alright.
It's fantastic. We have no scripts. Unless we edit it and make it perfect. But we won't do that.
We won't do that. We don't ever do that. Nah, nobody wants perfect.
Screw that. In the words of my good friend Bill O'Reilly, we'll do it live!
I got no ice left in my glass.

(01:23:57):
Oh you need ice? I need ice too and I need more whiskey.
I think it's time for a cheers. For a saloo.
Salon. Salon tro. Hold on I can't do that. We need a little clink clink clink.
I need some ice cycles. Ice icicles.
Alright. Where's my whiskey? Alright. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

(01:24:19):
I've only got to get the whiskey. Voila. Okay. Now we clink clink.
Clink clink. Everybody drink.
Clink clink. Everybody drink.
Alright. You were going to ask me something geeky. Okay. Alright. Nerd. What?
And I call you nerd because I'm a nerd too. Mad scientist I think is the appropriate.
Mad scientist. Okay. It is. Here's the scenario. Are you ready for this? I'm ready.

(01:24:42):
Alright. And this is really more of a Eric go forth kind of thing.
But you guys feel free Sweet Curbs and Cassie feel free to chime in on something that you might want to bring to the table also.
Alright. So the year is 1509. Okay. The year 1509.
Very techy year. Great fashion back then. Right. 1509.

(01:25:03):
Hugely technical. And you're not even in the United States. You're in like Europe, London, somewhere over in their area.
Okay. Somebody drops you off right now in the mind and everything that you know in your life right now.
The things that you know how to do in your life. You know all the history but you just got shipped back into 1509.
Right. Dropped in the middle of you know the city or whatever.

(01:25:26):
Okay. You're 20. Let's say 20 years old. Okay. Right.
What would you do and what would you invent?
Do we know what we know now as modern day people? Yes. You know everything you know today.
All you did is woke up tomorrow in 1509. So you have to choose what you're going to invent that you know of.
What would you invent? I got it. Okay. What would you invent Sweet Curbs?

(01:25:49):
Plumbing. I'd be like you don't have to pee in the street.
Okay. No more throwing your crap out the window.
You know how plumbing works? Like how would you, how would you, Sweet Curbs plumbing's been around a long time.
They've had. But 1509 they were peeing and pooping in the street. And they had pots. And rivers.
What did they call them? Poop pots. That's why the water was so contaminated.
There was irrigation like. Okay. You know you think back to the ancient Romans. There was irrigation.

(01:26:13):
Okay. Hold on. Yeah. Everybody slow down. The aqueduct and all that.
That's true. There was plumbing. There was but generally speaking in the major cities they all pooped in their pots and they threw them out the window.
So. Chamber pots were a thing for. Yes. Going back to the Romans they had basic irrigation.
You didn't tell me you have to know how it works. You just said what would I invent. In my mind I would know how it works and I could invent it.

(01:26:35):
But you'd have to like make it. Like you'd have to. You'd have to go show them. You'd have to show them.
Like what would you. I mean who. But who would you even show. You'd have to create it and invent it yourself.
I'd bring like a blueprint from somewhere. Sorcery. You'd draw it out. Sorcery.
You'd say draw it out and be like this is what needs to be done. Okay I got you. Eric. Or even. She's a witch.
The best to do is put a pot on the bottom of a bowl that goes downhill. Yeah.

(01:26:58):
Don't throw it out your window. Collect it in one area maybe. It kind of can be that simple right.
From your chamber pot to the chamber pot outside. Hold on I stole it from Eric though. What would you. What would you do. Yes.
You got dropped off. What would I do. What would you invent. What would I invent. I honestly I would not invent a damn thing.
I would find ever all the inventors I know about and I would back them up 100 percent. I'd invest in them like crazy.

(01:27:21):
Spoken like a true businessman. That's a great idea though. I'm going to invest in. Like what would be like a.
Oh you're talking 1509. So we're talking. That's even that's a little before Marconi even.
But I mean we're talking like pre railroad. I mean all that kind of stuff back in the 1500s.
Well I would probably invest in the witch trials. That was very profitable.

(01:27:46):
Power power of any sort power to propel right.
Like you ask you ask people this and they were talking about I'd invent a cell phone or a computer.
No you wouldn't. How would you know you would do you know how to. You wouldn't know you don't have to build a cell phone.
Those materials don't exist. You've got to talk Renaissance times right.
You got to go back. So maybe like a pocket watch. You know what I would really do.

(01:28:08):
First what I would really honestly do if I woke up tomorrow toilet 1596 years off. So you can make a toilet.
She would be the first person to make the flush toilet. I totally understand how it works.
I came 100 years later in 1596 to answer your question. I would reach my pocket pull out my big lighter flick it and everybody would worship me.

(01:28:29):
And that's what I would do. This is your cell phone.
People. Yeah people would literally just shower. But do you know how to make a lighter. Oh yeah.
And you know how to get that plastic like you got to get well plastic wouldn't be invented yet.
Exactly. So you got to buy it plastic first. No no no you don't have that plastic.
You just have to get Flint. OK. Right. Like a zip up metal Flint. Right.

(01:28:51):
Some sort of flammable liquid which they had. Yeah. You know tar anything like that.
I put it in a small little container. I'm safer. Yeah. Put it in an acorn.
I would make it a cord later. You got to get a flint. Yeah. Natural even matches.
You know what I was thinking. So you are ahead of the curve there without being too scary.
But a lighter might be witchcraft. You'd be the king in no time.

(01:29:14):
You know what I would I would invent. Square dancing. A pencil. A pencil.
I would build and make a pencil. Oh yeah. You put quills out way ahead of time. Right.
Like a pencil. That's easy. I know how to make a pencil. Prior to that.
That wouldn't be that hard really. It's just charcoal. That would be the easiest thing ever.
I want to make a pencil. Didn't the caveman have something like a pencil.

(01:29:36):
Well yeah it was just charcoal. It was charcoal. But like a pencil that you could actually sharpen.
Re-sharpen and you know cut the wood and make it make it so that you can write.
If you think about it like they dipped frickin feathers in an ink thing. A quill.
Quill in an ink and they would write with that. How cool would have have been in 1509 to have a pencil.

(01:29:59):
Did they not? I don't think they did.
Listen you can make a battery out of two potatoes and lemonade. I know that.
You know what I'm saying. I would make a battery. I would make a flashlight.
Oh lemons. Back to the earlier subject. Oh yeah I could do a light bulb.
With glass. Vacuum glass. Make a radio and get picked up.
I got to figure out what tungsten. I got to figure out what the nearest tungsten mine is.
Where do you find tungsten? Nobody even knows what that is. Yeah.

(01:30:21):
Like where would you find that at the time? I know what I've heard of tungsten rings like the scratch proof.
Yeah that's what I have. I have a tungsten carbide ring. Yeah.
Well there you go. That's what I would do. I would invent a battery. A battery. Okay.
You know what they already had batteries. Nobody knows what your battery is for though.
That's true. They believe they had batteries all the way back in the ancient times. Yeah for gold plating.

(01:30:44):
Yes. Yeah. But I would harness electricity to 300 years early.
Make like a yeah. I know how to make it. That's easy. Right. You need copper and you need a magnet.
And it's rotated. Super simple. And you can turn it into yeah.
I would invent. I would say sorcery again. I would invent radio beforehand.
They might burn you at the stake for some of these. No.

(01:31:05):
The cultural renaissance awareness has to come along with that.
Or yes you're being burned at the stake you're a witch.
Goody Proctor saw Eric spinning rocks in the forest. This man holds fire in his hand.
Burn him. The church has decided you're a sorcerer.
I would have been able to communicate remotely to the pope.

(01:31:29):
And the pope would say he's fine. Leave him alone.
Ah. So that's your superpower.
Wasn't it Tesla that or somebody that invented one of those remote control boats
that he convinced all the people that he was able to control that boat with his mind.
But it was remote control.
We used to tell our children that when we had like cruise control.

(01:31:50):
I would. We talked about that before.
Or the Rubik's Cube. I would be the I would be ahead of the game on the Rubik's Cube.
Oh I could yeah.
Travis is good at a Rubik's Cube. I can solve it.
That would be a good one. Introduce the Rubik's Cube.
Beatbox? Yeah.
All the jesters would be out.
We just have our first rain.
Alright ladies and gentlemen this is 1509 techno coming at you.

(01:32:15):
You know the little midget playing the lute. He'd be out.
No lutes, no jesters, no you know dancing women.
He'd be the one with the good drugs for your music.
Because belly dancing ain't got nothing on my beatbox.
I would show my nice my over the top 1980s breakdancing moves.
You know it would be huge. It'd be huge.

(01:32:36):
You gonna do the worm?
I'd be the hit of early America.
This one?
Yeah.
The lawnmower?
The sprinkler?
I'd show him the FC Hammer dance and they'd be like what is this nonsense.
He's possessed.
Alright we're running out of time friends.
We're gonna play a song and then we're gonna come back.
We're gonna discuss over the song.
We're gonna listen to a song. We're gonna come back and break it all down.

(01:32:58):
Alright we'll break it all. What are we listening to? Tracy Lawrence? I like Tracy.
Yeah Tracy Lawrence. Alright.
Sister cries out from her baby bed.
Brother runs in feathers on his head.
Mama's in her room learning how to sew.
Daddy's drinking beer listening to the radio.

(01:33:19):
Aunt William sings Colleges and Dear John.
And time marches on. Time marches on.
Sister's using ruse, a clear complexion soap.

(01:33:41):
Brother's wearing beads and he smokes a lot of dope.
Mama's in her room learning how to sew.
And daddy's got a girlfriend in another town.
Pop Dylan sings like a rolling stone.

(01:34:03):
And time marches on. Time marches on.
Time marches on. Time marches on.
The south moves north, the north moves south.

(01:34:25):
A star is born, a star burns out.
The only thing that stays the same is everything changes.
Sister calls herself a sexy grandma.

(01:34:47):
Brother's on a diet for high cholesterol.
Mama's out of touch with reality.
Daddy's in the ground beneath the maple tree.
As the angels sing an old Aunt William song.

(01:35:14):

(01:35:52):
There's an Elvis movie on the marquee sign.
We've all seen at least three times.

(01:36:17):
Everybody's broke, Bobby's got a buck.
Put a dollar's worth of gas in his pickup truck.
We're going 90 miles an hour down a dead end road.
What's a hurry song? Where you gonna go?
We're gonna holler at the moon, shoot out the light.

(01:36:41):
It's a small town Saturday night.
Lucy's got lipstick on a little too bright.
Bobby's getting drunk and looking for a fight.

(01:37:06):
Liquor on his breath, trouble on his mind.
Well, Lucy's just a kid along for the ride.
Got a six pack of beer and a bottle of wine.
Gotta be bad just to have a good time.
They're gonna holler at the moon, shoot out the light.

(01:37:29):
Bobby told Lucy the world ain't round.

(01:37:50):
Drops off sharp at the edge of town.
Lucy, you know the world must be flat.
Cause when people leave town they never come back.
They go 90 miles an hour to the city limits.

(01:38:11):
And put the pedal to the metal for the change of mind.
I'll holler at the moon, shoot out the light.
I'll holler at the moon, shoot out the light.

(01:38:32):

(01:38:59):
Saturday night and the moon is out.
I wanna head on over to the twist and shout.
I'm not just a partner in a cage and beat.
When it lifts me up I'm gonna find my feet.
Out in the middle of a big dance floor.
When I hear that middle, wanna beg for more.
Wanna dance to a band from Louisiana night.
And I'll never have a wander down to New Orleans.

(01:39:21):
Never have a trip to down a bayou stream.
But I heard that music on the radio.
And I swore someday I was gonna go.
Down a highway tent, that's the Lafayette.
It's about to all rouge and I won't forget.
To send you a card with my regrets.
Cause I'm never gonna come back home.

(01:39:43):
Wanna dance to a band from Louisiana night.

(01:40:08):
They got an alligator stew and a crawfish pie.
A golf storm blowing into town tonight.
Living on the Delta's quiet show.
They got herbacaine parties every time it blows.
But here out north it's a cold, cold rain.
And there ain't no cure for my blues today.
Except when the paper says bosselay.
So coming into town, baby let's go down.
It's Saturday night and the moon is out.

(01:40:31):
Wanna dance to a band from Louisiana tonight.

(01:40:58):
Bring your mama, bring your papa, bring your sister too.
They got lots of music and lots of room.
When they play you a vault from the 1910.
You're gonna feel a little bit young again.
When you learn to dance with your rock and roll.
You learn to sweat the do-se-do.
But you learn to flub at the fey-do-do.
When you hear a little show live long.

(01:41:20):
Wanna dance to a band from Louisiana tonight.
When I hear a little show live long.

(01:41:41):
That last song was Mary Chapin Carpenter,

(01:42:09):
and I'm gonna dance to a twist and shout.
Uh-oh.
Tis that time again.
Okay.
It's that time.
Okay.
Bom-bom.
Chicka-pow-pow.
Not that time, Travis.
Different time.
Sorry.
It's time for you to lose, not win.
I need some ice.

(01:42:32):
Whiskey.
Man.
All right.
I can't believe this.
We've almost gone through this whole entire
thing.
If you're going to win, you're going to win.
I've been watching this show all night and they
have to do it.
I can't believe this.
I'm not just a partner in a cage.
I'm not just a partner in a cage.
I'm a partner in a cage.

(01:42:54):
Not just tonight, folks.
Yeah, not just tonight.
Well, it was a handles.
It was a lot.
That's probably about four episodes worth of Jack Daniels
right there.
With guests.
With guests, too.
There will be a refill.
Sweet kerbs, you good?
You need another refill?
back over the episodes, we're like,
we could do a little better.
All these ties where y'all chime in around the same time
we can't figure out who really came in first.

(01:43:15):
So name is your buzzer.
So when you're going to answer, you have to say your name
first, that is how you buzz in.
That gives you the opportunity to answer.
If you don't know it, or if you get it wrong,
it goes to the other person.
Then that five second timer starts first.
All right, but real quick.
What if it's a Travis Tritz song,

(01:43:37):
and I say Travis, Tritz.
No.
Ow.
Nope, you're done.
Are there any Kirby songs?
You have to say Travis, Travis Tritz.
Also, if you buzz in, if Travis or I say our name.
You got the gist, right?
In five seconds go by and we can't name the name
or artist, obviously that's a pass as well.

(01:43:58):
So that's what starts the timer.
Okay, also this week because of our shipping issues
that we've had with the tattoo stuff.
So this week is bragging rights only.
Other words, we're going to start piling punishments.
We might make Travis sing in the studio again,
but bragging rights only.
That might not be so much of a punishment.
So if you win, I have to sing another song?

(01:44:19):
Possibly, if you win, maybe I'll sing a song.
Maybe if you win, I'll sing heartache with you.
What?
Oh, I'm done.
I'm done.
You're going to sing a song with me?
The towel's been thrown down.
If you win.
If I win?
Yeah.
All right.
If Travis wins.
Well, that can be her punishment scene.
There we go.
I like it.
I'm in.
And trust me, it won't just be a punishment for me.
It'll be you punishment to all your listening ears.

(01:44:41):
So.
All right, last new change
because we've kind of varied in the number of songs
that we're doing based on timing and everything.
No, we're doing 10 songs.
10 songs.
10 songs.
That's the total.
That's when we determine the winner.
Cassie's our trusty song and scorekeeper.
So there's still two points per song.

(01:45:01):
You get the artist over the.
Yeah.
That's all the same.
That's all the same.
We're going to get our friends Wendy and Mark
to come in here in little referee shirts.
I want them in the pinstripe shirts.
Oh, I love that guy.
Yeah.
Wendy, come over and whack.
Wait, jailers or referees?
He's coming back into the country.
We'll get him a whistle.
Yeah.
You can have a whistle.
Yeah, we'll make him stand right behind you guys.
And like, just like, if you screw up,
one of you get whacked on the side of the head.

(01:45:22):
It'll be fun.
Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
The illegal procedure on the offense.
Yeah, illegal procedure.
Yeah, illegal procedure.
So you're going to do it in European accent on the all backs?
Wendy can throw like, wiffle balls at everybody?
No, we'll give them each a pool noodle.
Yeah.
Whack.
Whack.
They can whack you.
All right, let's get to work.
Let's get to work.
We've got things to do.
Let's go.

(01:45:42):
We've got things to do.
Ready?
Yes.
All right, here we go.
Travis.
The Jets.
You've got five seconds.
Do you know the name of the song?
Why Not Me.
There you go.
There you go.
Hey, I think we might have this down.
Go, it is two nothing, Travis, with our first song.

(01:46:03):
Here we go, next one, you ready?
No.
["The Jets"]
Off to sing for my friends as they score.
No guesses?

(01:46:24):
I'm gonna say right now, I don't know.
You.
Travis.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
Dolly Parton?
No.
Never mind.
No.
All right, Emmylou Harris.
You think I would know if that was Dolly?
I know.
Emmylou Harris, who will sing with me?
That's why I didn't.
Okay.
All right, you ready?
We are still two songs in,
so we're not adding another song here.
No, that's 10 total.
Because you didn't get it.
It's 10 total.
Okay.

(01:46:45):
["The Jets"]
["The Jets"]
Travis.
Go ahead.
Who's bio?
Kirby.
Go ahead.
Barbara Mandrell, country when country wasn't cool.
Oh, ho ho, nice week, darling.

(01:47:06):
Ladies and gentlemen, we are at Tide at 2-2.
All right.
Wait, I have a question though.
Yes.
With the new rules, if he misses it,
do I still have to say Kirby or can I just?
No, no, it automatically moves over to you.
If he misses it, it moves to you.
You get five seconds.
All right.
But.
["The Jets"]
I almost can't even hear this song.
I like this song.
It's a great song.
Ready?

(01:47:26):
Yeah.
["The Jets"]
Travis.
Go ahead.
Randy Travis.
["The Jets"]
Forever and Never, amen.
["The Jets"]
There you go.
["The Jets"]
All right.
See, I said it, I'm on Travis.
Randy Travis.
Ha ha ha ha.
It happened.
It wasn't Travis Tripp though, was it?
It happened.
All right, ready for the next one?
All right, let's go.

(01:47:46):
["The Jets"]
Lone Star.
Kirby.
Oh, it goes to Travis.
Yep, Travis, you get a shot.
Five seconds.
Lone Star.
Ha ha ha ha.
Starts over again.
Anybody?
Travis.
Travis.
["The Jets"]
Kenny Rogers.
Good.

(01:48:07):
You know the name of the song.
You've Got Tonight?
Or We've Got Tonight.
There you go.
Good job.
That's good.
I thought it was.
Good job.
What's that song you don't like, Eric?
The Lone Star song?
Oh, Amazed?
That's what I thought it was.
It's that wedding song.
Amazed.
It's that piano like.
Ha ha ha ha.
Okay, we are four songs in.
It is two, six, Travis.
Ha ha ha ha.
All right, all right, you guys ready for the next one?
Here comes song number five, halfway there.

(01:48:29):
["The Jets"]
Hmm, no guesses?
["The Jets"]

(01:48:51):
All right, give you five more seconds.
I know the song, but I don't know it.
Oh.
No, that's a no pointer.
Here we go.
Martina McBride.
Life number nine.
Oh, gosh darn, I knew that.
All right, here comes the next one.

(01:49:15):
Hmm.
Travis.
Travis.
Randy Travis.
Ha ha ha ha.
Five, you got five seconds.
You know the name of the song?
And time's up.
City folks.
You got a guess, Kirby?
And I don't.

(01:49:35):
Listen.
Here it is.
Whisper My Name.
Oh, you don't get it.
No, I don't, that's fine.
That's funny.
Yeah, no, the chorus doesn't count.
It actually does.
You're within your five seconds,
and he gave it to you at that point in time, so.
Were you within the five?
It is three, seven, Travis.
That was song number six.

(01:49:56):
She's watching the clock.
Travis.
Go ahead.
Travis, what you got?
Alan Jackson.
Good, got it.
Chasing This Neon Dream.
Oh, actually, I'm gonna pull that back.
I'm gonna pull that back.
You guessed wrong, you got five seconds.
Neon Rainbow.
Chasing That Neon Rainbow.

(01:50:17):
There you go.
Oh, come on, she got it wrong too.
Four to eight, Travis.
That was song number seven.
She did get it wrong.
She just didn't say the whole title.
I didn't either.
You got the whole title wrong.
Okay, you said, what did you say?
Lick of the rainbow neon or something?
I think it said you.
Chasing that rainbow or whatever.

(01:50:37):
Chasing the neon something.
All right.
All right.
Here we go.
Here's song number eight.
Travis.
Go ahead, Travis.
Who is it?
Travis Redd.
And drown out on the party.
Here's a quarter call someone, who cares?
No, it is.
And hurt me night and day.
When the thought of you came racing through.

(01:50:59):
You still get a chance.
Anybody?
I'll give you five more seconds.
Whiskey ain't working anymore.
Whiskey ain't working anymore.
Got it.
No, we tied.
I said it completely before you did.
No, you did not.
Yes, I did.
All right, Kirby 4, Travis 9.
That was song number eight.
Two more songs, that's it.
All right.
Here we go.
Chasing that rainbow neon or whatever.

(01:51:21):
Faith Hill Wild One.
Wow, she got both. Six to nine.
That was song number nine. But there's only one more so he won.

(01:51:41):
Well, just for fun. You don't want to be a total loser.
Wow.
Look, at least try to close up.
That's fair.
Here we go.
This one's Bragg and Wrights anyway.
Oh, I'm skipping this one because you literally just said it.
Shelly Wright, Shut Up and Drive.
That's true.
But I'm skipping that one.
But you didn't say Name is Your Brother either.
Do you know the reason I know this song?
Why?
Because my mom told my little brother not to say shut up to people when he was a baby

(01:52:02):
because it was a bad word.
Every time this song would come on, I'd be like, mom, it's a bad word.
It's a bad song, you gotta change it.
Yeah, that's the only reason.
Here we go. Here's the actual song ten.
I'm gonna override the ten rule because I booger it up.
Alright.
Kirby.
Go ahead.
Trisha Yearwood. She's in Love with the Boy.

(01:52:23):
There you go.
Eight to nine. That sucks.
You lost by one point.
One point.
Sweet curves.
Bragging rights.
I love you though.
No, I gotta sing with him.
Oh, did you actually put that on there?
Yeah, you gotta sing now.
Okay.
Right now?
No, we gotta go home and practice for the next episode.
No, I wanna do it right now.
No, we gotta do it right now.
I'm not doing it right now.
We're doing tattoos next time.

(01:52:44):
I don't know the words.
I'm grabbing it.
Alright, I'll try.
Refill her whiskey, it's happening.
I gotta look up the words now.
Alright, let this play through while she gets ready.
Alright, you guys get set up.
We'll be back at the end of the song.
And Kirby's gonna pay her punishment right now.

(01:53:59):
He says my high school friend will have to do
Till I can buy a wedding band
Her daddy says he ain't worth a lick
When it comes to braids he got the short end of the stick
But Katie's young and man she just don't care
She'd follow Tommy anywhere

(01:54:22):
She's in love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She's gonna marry that boy someday

(01:54:54):
My daddy's waiting up till half past twelve
When they come sneaking up the wall
He says young lady get on up to your room
While me and Junior have a talk
Mama breaks in says don't lose your temper
It wasn't very long ago

(01:55:17):
You yourself was just a hayseed plow boy
You didn't have a row to hoe
My daddy said you wasn't worth a lick
When it came to braids you got the short end of the stick
But he was wrong and honey you are too
Katie looks at Tommy like I still look at you

(01:55:39):
What's meant to be will always find a way

(01:56:02):
What's meant to be will always find a way
She's gonna marry that boy someday
You're back. You lost. Now you gotta sing a song with me.
I said I would. I will do it.
Alright, I've never even, I think I've done this song once in my life, but we can try to do it together.

(01:56:23):
You got your lyrics up there?
No, I don't need lyrics, sweet curbs.
He's lying.
I know all the words to this song so I might screw them up every once in a while, especially on a live show.
Alright, so this is a Jamie Johnson song. It's called...
Heartache.
Heartache.

(01:57:13):
I was born by fire in a cold dark cave in the age of a dinosaur
When a caveman caught his cavewoman loving on a missing link living next door
There was crying and screaming and wardrobe was beating and a wave of violence

(01:57:38):
But none of them folks survived but me I've been hanging around ever since
I'm a heartache, never seen be coming I'll always take you by surprise
I'm a heartache, hungry and hungry For someone I can't lead a lie

(01:58:02):
By the time you know I'm on you buddy it's too late
I'm a heartache
I watched you taking off tonight and I knew you were headed too

(01:58:32):
I saw that sweet young thing you made at that dirty old motel room
Well I'm na na na, your pretty little wife waiting up for you at home
And you don't even know it yet but I'm just saving you for later

(01:58:59):
I can get you all alone

(01:59:27):
I'm a heartache

(01:59:57):

(02:00:24):
I'm a heartache

(02:01:10):
I call on my home

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.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}1. Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang

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Episode 8

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