March 17, 2026 • 30 mins
Artist Karla Diaz discusses how personal experiences, including caring for her mother and navigating loss, have shaped her creative work. She reflects on the ways art can serve as a space for processing grief, memory, and transformation, and how those experiences continue to inform the themes and direction of her practice.
The conversation also explores the role of intuition in the creative process, the importance of community in sustaining artists, and how creative work evolves over time while remaining connected to deeply personal experiences.
Timestamps:
2:12 Finding a Path into Art
6:05 Trusting Intuition in the Creative Process
9:48 How Life Experiences Shape Artistic Work
13:20 Caring for Her Mother and the Role of Healing in Art
17:42 Community, Collaboration, and Creative Support
21:05 Balancing Personal Life and Artistic Practice
24:36 How an Artist’s Work Evolves Over Time
27:58 Advice for Emerging Artists
30:15 Continuing to Create Through Life’s Changes
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Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Well, you're an artist, even if.You go to the market when you go
wash your laundry at the market,you are the artist going to.
Wash your clothes. And you know you are the artist
going to the market. You are still that artist.
Welcome to Unapologetically Created, a podcast from the
(00:26):
Vermont College of Fine Arts, where we celebrate bold
artistry, transformative creativity, and the audacious
voices shaping the future of thearts.
I'm your host Andrew Ram Sammy, and in this series we dive into
honest, inspiring conversations with artists who are pushing
boundaries and redefining what it means to create work that
(00:50):
resonates and endures. Carla Diaz is an artist whose
work moves fluidly between painting, social practice,
performance, and collective experience.
In this episode, Carla reflects on growing up between Mexico and
Los Angeles, and I'm learning storytelling through family,
music, and community rather thanformal institutions.
(01:12):
She shares how caregiving, illness, grief, and survival
shaped her early work, includinga deeply personal painting made
while caring for her mother, where beauty and loss sit side
by side. We also talk about how insomnia,
meditation, and working at nighthave become central to her
process, and how projects like Prison Gourmet transform
(01:35):
deprivation into empathy and imagination.
Throughout the conversation, Carlos speaks candidly about
rebuilding her practice after a stroke, trusting intuition and
claiming the identity of artistsin her own terms.
Carla, welcome to Unapologetically Creative.
Thank you so much for that and thank you for having me here.
(01:56):
So you grew up as a child drawing on walls.
What were those scenes that you would draw?
You know they were anywhere from, you know, lines.
As I started to, I was. Just beginning to learn how to.
Draw right like circles to like faces.
I love people's faces. You.
Know in my imagination, I think I.
(02:18):
As a child, I always. Loved imagining this imaginary.
Worlds right? Like this?
Fantastical world and I would have these conversations in
these imaginary worlds with these.
People that I saw. And even people from my
community or my family and so. I always drew that.
What I saw and you know, sometimes it was also like
(02:42):
things that were inspiring me that I was looking at, like.
Pop cultural. References.
You know, kind of like the cartoons.
That I would see. And I was watching.
I grew up. Both in Mexico and in Los
Angeles. So I was born here and my mother
then decided to send me with to live with my paternal, maternal,
(03:05):
excuse me, grandparents in Mexico for a while.
So a. Lot of my.
Childhood, for a while was. You know, inspired.
By what was? I, you know, growing up in
Mexico and we only had one TV and we only got 1 channel.
And So what I'm trying to say is.
That the the shows that. Were on TV, were very limited,
(03:27):
you know, so it was like a soap opera and maybe like the news
once in a while. If we would like.
You know. Kick the TV.
And turn it that different way and it would then get another
signal and you'll be like. OK, Yeah, we.
Got it kind of right and you know, so those kind of things
inspire me and and I and I would.
(03:48):
Draw those. Things you know.
Did you come from a family of artists?
Had you been exposed to art as achild?
You know. I.
When I was growing up, I never felt like somebody like an, you
know, so it was my, my grandparents, right?
And then my uncle and his wife that I grew up in the same
(04:09):
household. But it was never, you know.
Said like that was their job. This is their their.
Profession as an artist, you know, but I knew my uncle was
different and. So I say by.
Different is that he was an ex hippie from here who went back
to live in Mexico and he. Loved to play the.
(04:31):
Guitar and he. Loved to ride peace, still
alive. Loves to write poetry.
And so when I was a child, he would also love to drink and so
he would. Have like these party.
Night like long like, you know, playing his songs and writing
poetry and really loud music that all the neighbors and
(04:52):
everybody hated. So like LED?
Zeppelin really loud. Imagine on a tiny little village
in Mexico. They would be like what the fuck
is? Going on here, right And I'd be
like. Yeah.
Oh, right. Like as a little kid.
Yeah. So everybody would be asleep.
But me and him and I would listen to him, and he would so.
So did he ignite something in you?
Was. There, Yeah, so, so.
(05:12):
To answer your question, yes, I think he was an artist and he
kind of, you know, inspired me and I'm like very thankful that
I had that experience with him, but I never, it wasn't saying
like. Here do this.
This is. Art.
This is important. And you know, like how
traditionally I think I saw in other families culturally here
in the United States, you know, your parents take you to the
(05:35):
museum or they. Take you to whatever.
And they say. Look at this.
This is. Art, right?
And this is a space. To create create art.
I think for me, growing up in this particular kind of environ,
Mexico, everything was sort of mixed in, right?
Your daily living of art and creating was part of that.
(05:55):
And I think also my love for storytelling came out of that
because I remember one of the things that my uncle did when I
was a. Child is.
He would sit around, you know. All the kids would.
Come and he was. Very popular.
Everybody loved. Him and he's very social and so
he, all the kids would come and we would sit around in the
evening and tell stories and tell jokes and that's what we
(06:17):
would do. We'd have conversations.
I mean now. It's like with.
TV and phones and everybody havethem and you know, there's all
these other things that are no longer I think.
So like used to right because ofthat because the.
Technology, I mean, there's. All these other positive.
Things I don't want to, you know, put anything.
(06:38):
But it sounds it sounds like there was some sort of personal
connection. Yeah, but but I think that was
very different because it kind of pushed me to engage, it
pushed me to socialize, it pushed me to listen to other
stories and experiences in a in a human connection way that I
think it's so important. Let's start talking about some
(06:59):
of your work. Do you remember the first piece
that you created and and what that what that was?
Yeah, I mean, I guess professionally.
Where you're talking about. Professionally, OK, so I, I
think I've, I mean, I've always been a drawer, you know, I've
(07:19):
always drawn and I think that's part of my process, you know, to
draw in terms of the, my social practice work.
I think I was doing a lot of that known.
First of all, I'm putting that out there in the public and
asked like my art attached to myart profession.
So I was. Doing a lot of community based
(07:42):
work, a lot of more performance social.
Practice projects. But in terms of my painting, I
mean, I think like I said, I've been drawing in paintings, but
just on a personal level, but I one of the first paintings.
That I ever did was. Of my mother, you know, and I
(08:05):
think that was because. I was her caregiver for over 12.
15 years oh wow. And my mother passed away from
Parkinson's. And so for a long time, I had
the I Was honor and I had. The luxury to care.
For her and to observe her, you know, and I think.
I used a lot. Of my observational skills
(08:28):
during this time frame. To be able to.
Help her and her medical needs, which I mean, it could be really
exhausting and really emotional and all this.
Stuff, but I really. Had to learn.
How to gauge that? Right.
And how to? Survive with that because it was
so. Prominent of me living daily.
(08:50):
With the fact that she could die.
Or something could happen to her.
So I think one of the first. Pieces that I did.
Was this painting of my grandmother my, excuse me, of my
mother as she was resting in herHospice?
Pose so eventually like. You know, she deteriorated so
(09:11):
much physically that you know, she was bedridden and so she
had. To get AG2.
Put in her and to feed her. So, you know, I wanted to kind
of my always my intentionality in a lot of my art is also to
heal and to refrain, and I was. Like how do I?
Paint this how do kind of. Express this take this so that
(09:32):
the that people could see what Isee.
And so I said, I don't want to put my mother like this just
dying. Like, I want to reframe this.
So I got the notion of the Disney movie in a Sleeping
Beauty. And when she's posing, right,
and she's resting and she's laying there.
With her eyes closed. And I was like, you know, she
(09:53):
kind of reminds me like that of like Sleeping Beauty.
So so in the animation. There's all these flowers.
Around her as she's laying thereand so I have this painting of
my mother, this color we're painting on my mother, you know,
laying there with. Her eyes closed.
But instead of her being tied tolike a machine to feed her from
(10:15):
her G tube, she's being fed. By a flower.
So. I want to like.
Kind of trying to combine this notion of life and death, you
know, like as you're laying there dying, you're also being
born and alive in some way. And so, so I think it's a really
for me. Was a very beautiful.
(10:35):
But also very traumatic, I mean,and tragic.
Something so that people would be like, Oh my God, I don't want
to. Look at that, right?
And I think that's always in my work, this kind of.
Parallel of. You know, seeing.
This how 2. Things can come together,
something really beautiful and. Colorful with the very tragic
(10:58):
or. Traumatic thing or violent thing
that I'm kind of trying to tell,you know, that's.
My life, essentially. You know, and so I said.
How do I visualize that? How do I tell this through
color? Through.
Imagery in the. Best way possible.
And the composition of it and you know, so that was one of my
first things that I did and I did it in my insomnia of.
(11:22):
Course because as. You know, as a.
Survivor of a stroke. Stroke survivor I have.
Insomnia. So the only thing that makes me
go to sleep. Is.
Painting, I mean, it eases it, you know, like I can just go on
and on in time, just like just leaves me, you know, like if I
(11:45):
don't keep my watch on and be like, what time is it?
I just lose myself in that time of painting.
So now I've gotten to the point.I mean, I did it since I
started, you know, healing from my stroke.
I started to get back into. OK, how do I?
If I'm going to live with this. How do I?
Find these strategies for myselfto to connect back to my art
(12:10):
making and that I'm like keepinghealthy and.
Safe, right? Because otherwise.
I would not sleep at all, you know so.
That was the first. Painting and I think for me it
was very. Cathartic.
It was very. Healing to to do this kind of.
Work that I thought. You know, they had always been a
taboo in terms of your some in some schools.
(12:33):
That you go to. Of like there's certain things
and certain themes and certain themes that if as you make if in
your art that are seen as negative and they're looked upon
negatively, right And that was one of them that always had the
stigma that. True art, you're like.
You know you don't talk about. This art as a.
(12:55):
Healing a way. To heal yourself and heal others
and advocate for others. And so for me, I always felt
like that was may not be seen and taken as true.
Art right that art Capital A. Right over that means right, So
I you know, after had my stroke,it gave me sort of.
The the the. Strength and power to be.
(13:17):
Like. I don't, I don't give, you know,
I don't give a. Fudge, right?
Like who? Cares what you think and be.
Like whether you like. It or not, this is for me and
I'm going to put it out there, you know, and it gave me the
confidence of being like, I'm just putting this out there
because I need to get it out of me and I need to say this and I
have it in my head. It's so weird, it's like.
(13:40):
These images sometimes, Andrew say, get stuck in my head and
it's like I'm living with an reading it out and I'm like
running and jogging it out and doing anything I can't to get
them out. But I can get them out, right.
And if I don't get them out, it's like I'm going to die.
I. Have to put it out.
I just have to throw. Everything and just lay.
(14:01):
It out. Lay it out.
Lay the color. Color.
Get it out of myself and then I'm like, Oh yeah.
That's how it was or that's how I see or.
Yeah, or maybe. It is, yes, but it's out.
There and if it. Worked out or?
If I don't like it. That's who.
Cares, you know, Nobody has to see it, you know what I mean?
But at least it's on paper. It's on there.
(14:22):
When you look at your art, you would think that that that art
was drawn during the day, but you're drawing your artwork at
night. We think of artists as thinking
of art in a way that it has to be drawn in the natural
daylight. Yeah, I mean that's.
A stereotype, right? That's.
That's the image right that. Everyone has in their head like.
(14:43):
Oh, there is this transom of light above that brings in the
arm glow, but you're doing it late at night.
What do you think that has revealed to you now, especially
in exploring your work through insomnia, that perhaps artists
may not consider that in their head they're supposed to do it
at a certain time of the day because the lighting's got to be
just right. What's that, and what does that
(15:06):
space look like for you? Where are you when you're doing
that? Yeah, no.
And and that's. What I always thought.
Right, like I'm like, I have to work in that and and see that's
why I wanted to fit that mold and it wouldn't fit me, right.
So that's what we are. Sometimes we're already like.
Oh that I have to do this? XY and Z because so and so does
it. No, right?
So for me, I think that space inthe in the night is the quietest
(15:31):
right for me. That I have as.
Not just for myself or like my busy schedule with my family and
my dogs and blah, blah blah. But also I think it's.
Outside the world. You know, and there's like not
so much construction outside. That we just had, right?
Or like kids outside Or people. Come in knocking on your door,
whatever is going, the dog barking, the neighbors.
(15:54):
So there is like a moment of quietness that I think it.
Allows that to. Kindness simmer and have just my
thoughts and my images out. You know, I think it's also
about a meditative. State that I call.
Even when I do my long runs, I find these kind of key places of
(16:15):
meditation and I think meditation is so important
because. You are.
You are. Breathing You are kind of, you
know, looking at things, you're reflecting on things, you are
sorting things, your ideas, you're putting things together
in that mental. State, but you're.
Also very intentional with that,you know, you are listening to
(16:37):
your mind, your body and your heart, your imagination.
And when I mean sometimes they were so busy in this life.
When do you get to just sit for 5 minutes and be like very
intentional. Let me breathe, let me see how
I'm doing. Let me see how my breath is
doing. Let me see what I'm thinking
about. It's hard to do.
So I think that space is also when I was.
(17:01):
I mean, I was joking when I say I don't give a.
Fudge, but it's. Really.
It's also. That space of yeah.
You know, I have my critic on myshoulder, my what I call my
critic. I call this little.
Persona that sits on my shouldereven in that moment when I'm in
my insomnia and it's saying no, you can't have that, Carla.
And I breathe it out. Why not?
I yes, I can. Oh, why not, you know?
(17:23):
OK, so that looks. Like my grandfather can't start
drawing my grandfather and say, oh, you know, OK, now Oprah is
coming to talk to your grandfather and interview him.
No, Carla, that wouldn't you. That wouldn't happen in real
life, the critic says. And I'm like, why not?
Why not? Why can't she come and talk to
me? There she goes.
So. Let me, I'm not questioning it.
(17:44):
I'm just drawing her. I'm just drawing him.
I'm just putting it out there. OK, so now all of a sudden what
else is happening? I just.
Allow. This kind of a room for
possibilities to happen and I think that's so important as
artists and art makers that in this.
Whatever this dark space. Is for me like as you.
(18:04):
Say it's sheltered. It's quiet, it's meditative.
That it's not hindered and it's not, you know.
Criticized right that you allow that your child.
To come out that you. Allow your creative spirit.
To come out until you allow yourself to make a lot of
different possibilities in that space.
(18:25):
So in prison. Gourmet You ask people to taste
recipes that are born out of deprivation but also resilience.
How does recreating a prison meal become art and an act of
empathy, storytelling, or resistance?
Well, I mean, this is a very personal thing for me.
I started on. This this project because.
(18:48):
My brother at the time had gone to prison and for me it was
something very shameful. You know, at the time I didn't
want to talk about it for a longtime.
I really felt like. It was part of my life, you
know, me communicating with him and writing letters back and
forth, and then you know I was. So it was part of.
(19:12):
What I was doing and for me again, everything as an artist.
I feel. I need to tap into in that kind
of sense, some people comprimentalize things and be
like, no, that's too personal, Carla.
Like, you know, as an artist, I don't want to do that.
I just want to do. Flowers right or whatever and
that's great. That's.
I'm saying that's fine, but for me it's always been like I'm
(19:33):
dealing with some heavy stuff I need to.
Headed first like I look. At it in the face and I'm like.
Let's deal with this right? So so finally.
I was asked by. Falling Fruit who is an amazing
artist collective team, that too.
(19:54):
They were. Organizing a lot of different
events at LACMA and they asked me to participate if I wanted to
do a project. And I said, you know.
This has been something, it's been itching me.
It's been on me. Like I tell you, I had this
thing that I need to say not to talk about and I haven't had a
chance to do. This is the project proposal
that I. Have an idea, can I recreate
(20:14):
some of these recipes that my brother has been sending me out
of his commissary items and thenI find?
They're really creative. And really interesting and.
Of course, really tastes like the taste.
Of it I wouldn't eat it and I'm.But it also.
Has something to say. With that like.
What are they eating? What do they have access to that
they're eating? Because I want to send him all
(20:35):
these veggies and all this food and all this stuff, but I can't.
There's only certain things thatI can, you know, send him and a
little bit of money that he can access so that he can get the.
Saturated. Salty.
Food for himself, you know so. I really.
Became interested in that and soI.
Recreated the first. Prison Gourmet for those recipes
(20:59):
that my brother had sent me at LACMA, but it's also the
intentionality was also I wanted.
To taste. That I wanted to see what that
was. Like that?
Experience because I know what he was going through.
Like how is he going? To how is he?
Going through this, you know, and.
So I really. Sometimes when I find projects
(21:19):
like this on a personal level, it's about me inquiring about
trying to find out what is goingon.
Why this is? Happening.
How is that? Experience, you know, And then
what? I was really amazed.
Is at the feedback of people because I started to get.
Questions on, you know, from oneside, it was like.
(21:42):
People. Wow, they.
Eat this kind of stuff right some.
People were really surprised. They had never tasted something
like this and then on the other hand, there were people that
were. Like, well, they do deserve it.
They should be. Eating hot most horrible things
and I again I understand both sides but I felt like something
we. Start.
I started to. Really inquire.
About what is taste? You know, you and I can probably
(22:08):
have a different an idea of whatgood Mexican food is.
Because we've probably tried a few.
Different restaurants, a few different things.
Our mothers, our family, whatever friends have cooked for
us, and we know. What good or our idea of what
good? Is but then maybe people who
have never. Tasted.
That for them maybe what you andI consider bad Mexican food,
(22:30):
right? They would think it's good.
Right. So I started to.
Think about. Taste in terms of a social
economic thing as well and and how sometimes.
That could be, really. Systematic and in like.
Places. Like in prison, right?
(22:50):
That could be, really. A system of oppression, right?
In a system of a way to control like the inmates in a way,
right? But then they were using it and
reframing it and finding these. Creative ways where they could.
Themselves empower themselves and make their own food to
empower themselves again and say, OK, you're giving me these
(23:12):
kind of limited food items I'm going to remake it and make it
my own so that I can like to my liking.
I'm going to be the chef. I don't want you to be the chef,
you know what I mean? So I always find these.
So that's. Why?
I was really interested in that.Because I felt.
Even in communities. Like that where there?
(23:33):
Are these fragile moments of oppression, of oppressive things
of you have? To do this or you have.
To only have this kind of certain foods.
That there is the. Power of imagination and.
Creativity, that is, always. Raining in US and I find that so
key. Because that's so.
Healing, you know, because even in the most remote.
(23:57):
Ways you're able to survive off of that?
So after your stroke, you mentioned your stroke earlier,
You rebuilt your painting practice from scratch.
Yeah. What did that reset moment teach
you about you being an artist, taking new risks, learning new
techniques? And what did your intuition tell
(24:18):
you? I think.
It really. Empower me, right?
It really gave me that confidence in saying.
Look, Carla, I told you. You, you, you.
Should have listened to me like I said this in a monologue to
myself. You should just do whatever you
got. Is telling you.
You should do what? You want to do.
(24:40):
What you see? Even if people think it's too
crazy. Even if you.
Wear the brightest, weirdest. Color and then they think you're
crazy for being the only like colorful person walking on
campus in your school, even if. They see you.
Singing or running like a crazy woman?
Like, do you? You know, and I think it sort of
(25:01):
gave me that confidence of beingable to say.
Oh, OK, It's OK. It gave me that kind of
validation in a. Way right?
Like. This is something that I've been
seeing that I. Have to offer.
That it's been truly, uniquely mine that I had.
Shelter before or I felt like I had to.
(25:21):
Put it in a. Box right I had.
To be this kind of person in oneway, and then this other person
another way and so. That's why I tell.
A lot of my students sometimes when they say.
Oh, I I. Do my art at my studio, you
know, and, and they compartmentalize.
So when I start talking about, you know, putting that
themselves in a box and I said. Well, you're an artist.
(25:43):
Even if you go to the market when you go wash your laundry at
the market. You are the artist.
Going to wash your clothes and you know you are the artist.
Going to the market, you are going you.
Are still that artist because they feel.
Oh, I am, yes. So you're going with your mom to
the laundry mat? You are still the artist is
going to the laundromat with your mom.
(26:05):
Like don't forget that. I know.
And so I think. That I had to, really.
I mean, you know, in. A way we really.
In my generation and my time, it's like, and I know there were
some elders before me which evenstruggle much more to be able to
(26:26):
say you're an artist was. Really hard right to have that.
As your profession in your. What do you do?
Oh, I'm an office person. Oh, I'm a teacher or whatever,
But that was never at the forefront, you know?
And so I remember correctly, I was traveling, I think it was to
London or something. We did the project over there.
(26:47):
And I remember looking at my husband Mario, who's also an
artist, and. We had to fill.
Out the form, you know the immigration form and you had to.
Declare what you were as your. Occupation and we looked at each
other and he looked at me and I was like, you're an artist,
right? Put it on, fuck it.
And I was like. Oh yeah, OK all.
Right. And that was the first time that
(27:08):
I had. Actually.
Written it out and said it out loud and put.
I was like, Oh yeah. Yes, I am.
OK, OK, so I better say it. I have the.
Occupation, you know, that's what I am.
I'm an artist. What does it mean to you to be
unapologetically creative, especially as someone who paints
dreams, makes performance meals,and builds collective spaces?
(27:29):
It means using your imagination to the full potential.
Whether it's crazy, Whether. You know, people want to censor.
It whether whatever. It means being courageous, right
and resilient and brave, and I think it means to challenge
(27:50):
yourself and it means to not be afraid to.
Fail because I. Think failure for me is the most
exciting because it means process, right?
It means. Possibilities.
It means being able. To.
Transform and I think when, if we want to make an impact,
(28:10):
whether it's an artist's lies orin other communities.
You have to be able to. Transform and change, right?
And how do you? Do that.
How do you allow people to take?Things to take, ideas to heal,
themselves to transform, their concepts to make things.
Bigger, better, whatever. But that's the power.
That they can only do that themselves.
(28:31):
You can't do that. They have to do that change.
So I think imagine the most powerful to me the most.
Powerful. Political.
Statement in any kind of way, isa community.
That is healed because. If you think about it, we are no
longer damaging ourselves, we are no longer damaging each
(28:54):
other, and we are healing. Right.
Through that, and so to me, unapologetic creative means.
To use creativity. As an advocacy.
Tool. To be able to transform and
change our lives and the lives of others.
What stays with you from this conversation is the way that
(29:16):
Carla understands art as something inseparable from life
itself. Her work makes space for a
complexity without trying to resolve it.
Beauty exists alongside trauma, and creativity becomes a way to
endure, adapt, and imagine new possibilities.
Again and again, Carla returns to process over perfection,
(29:37):
intuition over convention, and creativity as something lived
rather than perform. Thanks for listening to
Unapologetically Created. Be sure to follow the show and
stay tuned for more insightful conversations in the episodes
ahead to learn more about the Vermont College of Fine Arts.
Visit. Vcfa.edu.
Well, you're an artist, even if.You go to the market when you go
wash your laundry at the market,you are the artist going to.
Wash your clothes. And you know you are the artist
going to the market. You are still that artist.
Welcome to Unapologetically Created, a podcast from the
(00:26):
Vermont College of Fine Arts, where we celebrate bold
artistry, transformative creativity, and the audacious
voices shaping the future of thearts.
I'm your host Andrew Ram Sammy, and in this series we dive into
honest, inspiring conversations with artists who are pushing
boundaries and redefining what it means to create work that
(00:50):
resonates and endures. Carla Diaz is an artist whose
work moves fluidly between painting, social practice,
performance, and collective experience.
In this episode, Carla reflects on growing up between Mexico and
Los Angeles, and I'm learning storytelling through family,
music, and community rather thanformal institutions.
(01:12):
She shares how caregiving, illness, grief, and survival
shaped her early work, includinga deeply personal painting made
while caring for her mother, where beauty and loss sit side
by side. We also talk about how insomnia,
meditation, and working at nighthave become central to her
process, and how projects like Prison Gourmet transform
(01:35):
deprivation into empathy and imagination.
Throughout the conversation, Carlos speaks candidly about
rebuilding her practice after a stroke, trusting intuition and
claiming the identity of artistsin her own terms.
Carla, welcome to Unapologetically Creative.
Thank you so much for that and thank you for having me here.
(01:56):
So you grew up as a child drawing on walls.
What were those scenes that you would draw?
You know they were anywhere from, you know, lines.
As I started to, I was. Just beginning to learn how to.
Draw right like circles to like faces.
I love people's faces. You.
Know in my imagination, I think I.
(02:18):
As a child, I always. Loved imagining this imaginary.
Worlds right? Like this?
Fantastical world and I would have these conversations in
these imaginary worlds with these.
People that I saw. And even people from my
community or my family and so. I always drew that.
What I saw and you know, sometimes it was also like
(02:42):
things that were inspiring me that I was looking at, like.
Pop cultural. References.
You know, kind of like the cartoons.
That I would see. And I was watching.
I grew up. Both in Mexico and in Los
Angeles. So I was born here and my mother
then decided to send me with to live with my paternal, maternal,
(03:05):
excuse me, grandparents in Mexico for a while.
So a. Lot of my.
Childhood, for a while was. You know, inspired.
By what was? I, you know, growing up in
Mexico and we only had one TV and we only got 1 channel.
And So what I'm trying to say is.
That the the shows that. Were on TV, were very limited,
(03:27):
you know, so it was like a soap opera and maybe like the news
once in a while. If we would like.
You know. Kick the TV.
And turn it that different way and it would then get another
signal and you'll be like. OK, Yeah, we.
Got it kind of right and you know, so those kind of things
inspire me and and I and I would.
(03:48):
Draw those. Things you know.
Did you come from a family of artists?
Had you been exposed to art as achild?
You know. I.
When I was growing up, I never felt like somebody like an, you
know, so it was my, my grandparents, right?
And then my uncle and his wife that I grew up in the same
(04:09):
household. But it was never, you know.
Said like that was their job. This is their their.
Profession as an artist, you know, but I knew my uncle was
different and. So I say by.
Different is that he was an ex hippie from here who went back
to live in Mexico and he. Loved to play the.
(04:31):
Guitar and he. Loved to ride peace, still
alive. Loves to write poetry.
And so when I was a child, he would also love to drink and so
he would. Have like these party.
Night like long like, you know, playing his songs and writing
poetry and really loud music that all the neighbors and
(04:52):
everybody hated. So like LED?
Zeppelin really loud. Imagine on a tiny little village
in Mexico. They would be like what the fuck
is? Going on here, right And I'd be
like. Yeah.
Oh, right. Like as a little kid.
Yeah. So everybody would be asleep.
But me and him and I would listen to him, and he would so.
So did he ignite something in you?
Was. There, Yeah, so, so.
(05:12):
To answer your question, yes, I think he was an artist and he
kind of, you know, inspired me and I'm like very thankful that
I had that experience with him, but I never, it wasn't saying
like. Here do this.
This is. Art.
This is important. And you know, like how
traditionally I think I saw in other families culturally here
in the United States, you know, your parents take you to the
(05:35):
museum or they. Take you to whatever.
And they say. Look at this.
This is. Art, right?
And this is a space. To create create art.
I think for me, growing up in this particular kind of environ,
Mexico, everything was sort of mixed in, right?
Your daily living of art and creating was part of that.
(05:55):
And I think also my love for storytelling came out of that
because I remember one of the things that my uncle did when I
was a. Child is.
He would sit around, you know. All the kids would.
Come and he was. Very popular.
Everybody loved. Him and he's very social and so
he, all the kids would come and we would sit around in the
evening and tell stories and tell jokes and that's what we
(06:17):
would do. We'd have conversations.
I mean now. It's like with.
TV and phones and everybody havethem and you know, there's all
these other things that are no longer I think.
So like used to right because ofthat because the.
Technology, I mean, there's. All these other positive.
Things I don't want to, you know, put anything.
(06:38):
But it sounds it sounds like there was some sort of personal
connection. Yeah, but but I think that was
very different because it kind of pushed me to engage, it
pushed me to socialize, it pushed me to listen to other
stories and experiences in a in a human connection way that I
think it's so important. Let's start talking about some
(06:59):
of your work. Do you remember the first piece
that you created and and what that what that was?
Yeah, I mean, I guess professionally.
Where you're talking about. Professionally, OK, so I, I
think I've, I mean, I've always been a drawer, you know, I've
(07:19):
always drawn and I think that's part of my process, you know, to
draw in terms of the, my social practice work.
I think I was doing a lot of that known.
First of all, I'm putting that out there in the public and
asked like my art attached to myart profession.
So I was. Doing a lot of community based
(07:42):
work, a lot of more performance social.
Practice projects. But in terms of my painting, I
mean, I think like I said, I've been drawing in paintings, but
just on a personal level, but I one of the first paintings.
That I ever did was. Of my mother, you know, and I
(08:05):
think that was because. I was her caregiver for over 12.
15 years oh wow. And my mother passed away from
Parkinson's. And so for a long time, I had
the I Was honor and I had. The luxury to care.
For her and to observe her, you know, and I think.
I used a lot. Of my observational skills
(08:28):
during this time frame. To be able to.
Help her and her medical needs, which I mean, it could be really
exhausting and really emotional and all this.
Stuff, but I really. Had to learn.
How to gauge that? Right.
And how to? Survive with that because it was
so. Prominent of me living daily.
(08:50):
With the fact that she could die.
Or something could happen to her.
So I think one of the first. Pieces that I did.
Was this painting of my grandmother my, excuse me, of my
mother as she was resting in herHospice?
Pose so eventually like. You know, she deteriorated so
(09:11):
much physically that you know, she was bedridden and so she
had. To get AG2.
Put in her and to feed her. So, you know, I wanted to kind
of my always my intentionality in a lot of my art is also to
heal and to refrain, and I was. Like how do I?
Paint this how do kind of. Express this take this so that
(09:32):
the that people could see what Isee.
And so I said, I don't want to put my mother like this just
dying. Like, I want to reframe this.
So I got the notion of the Disney movie in a Sleeping
Beauty. And when she's posing, right,
and she's resting and she's laying there.
With her eyes closed. And I was like, you know, she
(09:53):
kind of reminds me like that of like Sleeping Beauty.
So so in the animation. There's all these flowers.
Around her as she's laying thereand so I have this painting of
my mother, this color we're painting on my mother, you know,
laying there with. Her eyes closed.
But instead of her being tied tolike a machine to feed her from
(10:15):
her G tube, she's being fed. By a flower.
So. I want to like.
Kind of trying to combine this notion of life and death, you
know, like as you're laying there dying, you're also being
born and alive in some way. And so, so I think it's a really
for me. Was a very beautiful.
(10:35):
But also very traumatic, I mean,and tragic.
Something so that people would be like, Oh my God, I don't want
to. Look at that, right?
And I think that's always in my work, this kind of.
Parallel of. You know, seeing.
This how 2. Things can come together,
something really beautiful and. Colorful with the very tragic
(10:58):
or. Traumatic thing or violent thing
that I'm kind of trying to tell,you know, that's.
My life, essentially. You know, and so I said.
How do I visualize that? How do I tell this through
color? Through.
Imagery in the. Best way possible.
And the composition of it and you know, so that was one of my
first things that I did and I did it in my insomnia of.
(11:22):
Course because as. You know, as a.
Survivor of a stroke. Stroke survivor I have.
Insomnia. So the only thing that makes me
go to sleep. Is.
Painting, I mean, it eases it, you know, like I can just go on
and on in time, just like just leaves me, you know, like if I
(11:45):
don't keep my watch on and be like, what time is it?
I just lose myself in that time of painting.
So now I've gotten to the point.I mean, I did it since I
started, you know, healing from my stroke.
I started to get back into. OK, how do I?
If I'm going to live with this. How do I?
Find these strategies for myselfto to connect back to my art
(12:10):
making and that I'm like keepinghealthy and.
Safe, right? Because otherwise.
I would not sleep at all, you know so.
That was the first. Painting and I think for me it
was very. Cathartic.
It was very. Healing to to do this kind of.
Work that I thought. You know, they had always been a
taboo in terms of your some in some schools.
(12:33):
That you go to. Of like there's certain things
and certain themes and certain themes that if as you make if in
your art that are seen as negative and they're looked upon
negatively, right And that was one of them that always had the
stigma that. True art, you're like.
You know you don't talk about. This art as a.
(12:55):
Healing a way. To heal yourself and heal others
and advocate for others. And so for me, I always felt
like that was may not be seen and taken as true.
Art right that art Capital A. Right over that means right, So
I you know, after had my stroke,it gave me sort of.
The the the. Strength and power to be.
(13:17):
Like. I don't, I don't give, you know,
I don't give a. Fudge, right?
Like who? Cares what you think and be.
Like whether you like. It or not, this is for me and
I'm going to put it out there, you know, and it gave me the
confidence of being like, I'm just putting this out there
because I need to get it out of me and I need to say this and I
have it in my head. It's so weird, it's like.
(13:40):
These images sometimes, Andrew say, get stuck in my head and
it's like I'm living with an reading it out and I'm like
running and jogging it out and doing anything I can't to get
them out. But I can get them out, right.
And if I don't get them out, it's like I'm going to die.
I. Have to put it out.
I just have to throw. Everything and just lay.
(14:01):
It out. Lay it out.
Lay the color. Color.
Get it out of myself and then I'm like, Oh yeah.
That's how it was or that's how I see or.
Yeah, or maybe. It is, yes, but it's out.
There and if it. Worked out or?
If I don't like it. That's who.
Cares, you know, Nobody has to see it, you know what I mean?
But at least it's on paper. It's on there.
(14:22):
When you look at your art, you would think that that that art
was drawn during the day, but you're drawing your artwork at
night. We think of artists as thinking
of art in a way that it has to be drawn in the natural
daylight. Yeah, I mean that's.
A stereotype, right? That's.
That's the image right that. Everyone has in their head like.
(14:43):
Oh, there is this transom of light above that brings in the
arm glow, but you're doing it late at night.
What do you think that has revealed to you now, especially
in exploring your work through insomnia, that perhaps artists
may not consider that in their head they're supposed to do it
at a certain time of the day because the lighting's got to be
just right. What's that, and what does that
(15:06):
space look like for you? Where are you when you're doing
that? Yeah, no.
And and that's. What I always thought.
Right, like I'm like, I have to work in that and and see that's
why I wanted to fit that mold and it wouldn't fit me, right.
So that's what we are. Sometimes we're already like.
Oh that I have to do this? XY and Z because so and so does
it. No, right?
So for me, I think that space inthe in the night is the quietest
(15:31):
right for me. That I have as.
Not just for myself or like my busy schedule with my family and
my dogs and blah, blah blah. But also I think it's.
Outside the world. You know, and there's like not
so much construction outside. That we just had, right?
Or like kids outside Or people. Come in knocking on your door,
whatever is going, the dog barking, the neighbors.
(15:54):
So there is like a moment of quietness that I think it.
Allows that to. Kindness simmer and have just my
thoughts and my images out. You know, I think it's also
about a meditative. State that I call.
Even when I do my long runs, I find these kind of key places of
(16:15):
meditation and I think meditation is so important
because. You are.
You are. Breathing You are kind of, you
know, looking at things, you're reflecting on things, you are
sorting things, your ideas, you're putting things together
in that mental. State, but you're.
Also very intentional with that,you know, you are listening to
(16:37):
your mind, your body and your heart, your imagination.
And when I mean sometimes they were so busy in this life.
When do you get to just sit for 5 minutes and be like very
intentional. Let me breathe, let me see how
I'm doing. Let me see how my breath is
doing. Let me see what I'm thinking
about. It's hard to do.
So I think that space is also when I was.
(17:01):
I mean, I was joking when I say I don't give a.
Fudge, but it's. Really.
It's also. That space of yeah.
You know, I have my critic on myshoulder, my what I call my
critic. I call this little.
Persona that sits on my shouldereven in that moment when I'm in
my insomnia and it's saying no, you can't have that, Carla.
And I breathe it out. Why not?
I yes, I can. Oh, why not, you know?
(17:23):
OK, so that looks. Like my grandfather can't start
drawing my grandfather and say, oh, you know, OK, now Oprah is
coming to talk to your grandfather and interview him.
No, Carla, that wouldn't you. That wouldn't happen in real
life, the critic says. And I'm like, why not?
Why not? Why can't she come and talk to
me? There she goes.
So. Let me, I'm not questioning it.
(17:44):
I'm just drawing her. I'm just drawing him.
I'm just putting it out there. OK, so now all of a sudden what
else is happening? I just.
Allow. This kind of a room for
possibilities to happen and I think that's so important as
artists and art makers that in this.
Whatever this dark space. Is for me like as you.
(18:04):
Say it's sheltered. It's quiet, it's meditative.
That it's not hindered and it's not, you know.
Criticized right that you allow that your child.
To come out that you. Allow your creative spirit.
To come out until you allow yourself to make a lot of
different possibilities in that space.
(18:25):
So in prison. Gourmet You ask people to taste
recipes that are born out of deprivation but also resilience.
How does recreating a prison meal become art and an act of
empathy, storytelling, or resistance?
Well, I mean, this is a very personal thing for me.
I started on. This this project because.
(18:48):
My brother at the time had gone to prison and for me it was
something very shameful. You know, at the time I didn't
want to talk about it for a longtime.
I really felt like. It was part of my life, you
know, me communicating with him and writing letters back and
forth, and then you know I was. So it was part of.
(19:12):
What I was doing and for me again, everything as an artist.
I feel. I need to tap into in that kind
of sense, some people comprimentalize things and be
like, no, that's too personal, Carla.
Like, you know, as an artist, I don't want to do that.
I just want to do. Flowers right or whatever and
that's great. That's.
I'm saying that's fine, but for me it's always been like I'm
(19:33):
dealing with some heavy stuff I need to.
Headed first like I look. At it in the face and I'm like.
Let's deal with this right? So so finally.
I was asked by. Falling Fruit who is an amazing
artist collective team, that too.
(19:54):
They were. Organizing a lot of different
events at LACMA and they asked me to participate if I wanted to
do a project. And I said, you know.
This has been something, it's been itching me.
It's been on me. Like I tell you, I had this
thing that I need to say not to talk about and I haven't had a
chance to do. This is the project proposal
that I. Have an idea, can I recreate
(20:14):
some of these recipes that my brother has been sending me out
of his commissary items and thenI find?
They're really creative. And really interesting and.
Of course, really tastes like the taste.
Of it I wouldn't eat it and I'm.But it also.
Has something to say. With that like.
What are they eating? What do they have access to that
they're eating? Because I want to send him all
(20:35):
these veggies and all this food and all this stuff, but I can't.
There's only certain things thatI can, you know, send him and a
little bit of money that he can access so that he can get the.
Saturated. Salty.
Food for himself, you know so. I really.
Became interested in that and soI.
Recreated the first. Prison Gourmet for those recipes
(20:59):
that my brother had sent me at LACMA, but it's also the
intentionality was also I wanted.
To taste. That I wanted to see what that
was. Like that?
Experience because I know what he was going through.
Like how is he going? To how is he?
Going through this, you know, and.
So I really. Sometimes when I find projects
(21:19):
like this on a personal level, it's about me inquiring about
trying to find out what is goingon.
Why this is? Happening.
How is that? Experience, you know, And then
what? I was really amazed.
Is at the feedback of people because I started to get.
Questions on, you know, from oneside, it was like.
(21:42):
People. Wow, they.
Eat this kind of stuff right some.
People were really surprised. They had never tasted something
like this and then on the other hand, there were people that
were. Like, well, they do deserve it.
They should be. Eating hot most horrible things
and I again I understand both sides but I felt like something
we. Start.
I started to. Really inquire.
About what is taste? You know, you and I can probably
(22:08):
have a different an idea of whatgood Mexican food is.
Because we've probably tried a few.
Different restaurants, a few different things.
Our mothers, our family, whatever friends have cooked for
us, and we know. What good or our idea of what
good? Is but then maybe people who
have never. Tasted.
That for them maybe what you andI consider bad Mexican food,
(22:30):
right? They would think it's good.
Right. So I started to.
Think about. Taste in terms of a social
economic thing as well and and how sometimes.
That could be, really. Systematic and in like.
Places. Like in prison, right?
(22:50):
That could be, really. A system of oppression, right?
In a system of a way to control like the inmates in a way,
right? But then they were using it and
reframing it and finding these. Creative ways where they could.
Themselves empower themselves and make their own food to
empower themselves again and say, OK, you're giving me these
(23:12):
kind of limited food items I'm going to remake it and make it
my own so that I can like to my liking.
I'm going to be the chef. I don't want you to be the chef,
you know what I mean? So I always find these.
So that's. Why?
I was really interested in that.Because I felt.
Even in communities. Like that where there?
(23:33):
Are these fragile moments of oppression, of oppressive things
of you have? To do this or you have.
To only have this kind of certain foods.
That there is the. Power of imagination and.
Creativity, that is, always. Raining in US and I find that so
key. Because that's so.
Healing, you know, because even in the most remote.
(23:57):
Ways you're able to survive off of that?
So after your stroke, you mentioned your stroke earlier,
You rebuilt your painting practice from scratch.
Yeah. What did that reset moment teach
you about you being an artist, taking new risks, learning new
techniques? And what did your intuition tell
(24:18):
you? I think.
It really. Empower me, right?
It really gave me that confidence in saying.
Look, Carla, I told you. You, you, you.
Should have listened to me like I said this in a monologue to
myself. You should just do whatever you
got. Is telling you.
You should do what? You want to do.
(24:40):
What you see? Even if people think it's too
crazy. Even if you.
Wear the brightest, weirdest. Color and then they think you're
crazy for being the only like colorful person walking on
campus in your school, even if. They see you.
Singing or running like a crazy woman?
Like, do you? You know, and I think it sort of
(25:01):
gave me that confidence of beingable to say.
Oh, OK, It's OK. It gave me that kind of
validation in a. Way right?
Like. This is something that I've been
seeing that I. Have to offer.
That it's been truly, uniquely mine that I had.
Shelter before or I felt like I had to.
(25:21):
Put it in a. Box right I had.
To be this kind of person in oneway, and then this other person
another way and so. That's why I tell.
A lot of my students sometimes when they say.
Oh, I I. Do my art at my studio, you
know, and, and they compartmentalize.
So when I start talking about, you know, putting that
themselves in a box and I said. Well, you're an artist.
(25:43):
Even if you go to the market when you go wash your laundry at
the market. You are the artist.
Going to wash your clothes and you know you are the artist.
Going to the market, you are going you.
Are still that artist because they feel.
Oh, I am, yes. So you're going with your mom to
the laundry mat? You are still the artist is
going to the laundromat with your mom.
(26:05):
Like don't forget that. I know.
And so I think. That I had to, really.
I mean, you know, in. A way we really.
In my generation and my time, it's like, and I know there were
some elders before me which evenstruggle much more to be able to
(26:26):
say you're an artist was. Really hard right to have that.
As your profession in your. What do you do?
Oh, I'm an office person. Oh, I'm a teacher or whatever,
But that was never at the forefront, you know?
And so I remember correctly, I was traveling, I think it was to
London or something. We did the project over there.
(26:47):
And I remember looking at my husband Mario, who's also an
artist, and. We had to fill.
Out the form, you know the immigration form and you had to.
Declare what you were as your. Occupation and we looked at each
other and he looked at me and I was like, you're an artist,
right? Put it on, fuck it.
And I was like. Oh yeah, OK all.
Right. And that was the first time that
(27:08):
I had. Actually.
Written it out and said it out loud and put.
I was like, Oh yeah. Yes, I am.
OK, OK, so I better say it. I have the.
Occupation, you know, that's what I am.
I'm an artist. What does it mean to you to be
unapologetically creative, especially as someone who paints
dreams, makes performance meals,and builds collective spaces?
(27:29):
It means using your imagination to the full potential.
Whether it's crazy, Whether. You know, people want to censor.
It whether whatever. It means being courageous, right
and resilient and brave, and I think it means to challenge
(27:50):
yourself and it means to not be afraid to.
Fail because I. Think failure for me is the most
exciting because it means process, right?
It means. Possibilities.
It means being able. To.
Transform and I think when, if we want to make an impact,
(28:10):
whether it's an artist's lies orin other communities.
You have to be able to. Transform and change, right?
And how do you? Do that.
How do you allow people to take?Things to take, ideas to heal,
themselves to transform, their concepts to make things.
Bigger, better, whatever. But that's the power.
That they can only do that themselves.
(28:31):
You can't do that. They have to do that change.
So I think imagine the most powerful to me the most.
Powerful. Political.
Statement in any kind of way, isa community.
That is healed because. If you think about it, we are no
longer damaging ourselves, we are no longer damaging each
(28:54):
other, and we are healing. Right.
Through that, and so to me, unapologetic creative means.
To use creativity. As an advocacy.
Tool. To be able to transform and
change our lives and the lives of others.
What stays with you from this conversation is the way that
(29:16):
Carla understands art as something inseparable from life
itself. Her work makes space for a
complexity without trying to resolve it.
Beauty exists alongside trauma, and creativity becomes a way to
endure, adapt, and imagine new possibilities.
Again and again, Carla returns to process over perfection,
(29:37):
intuition over convention, and creativity as something lived
rather than perform. Thanks for listening to
Unapologetically Created. Be sure to follow the show and
stay tuned for more insightful conversations in the episodes
ahead to learn more about the Vermont College of Fine Arts.
Visit. Vcfa.edu.
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