March 9, 2026 • 32 mins
Ever feel the pressure to add more, teach more, be more—until the work loses its edge and you lose yourself? I’m pulling back the curtain on how I stopped cramming “everything but the kitchen sink” into my offers.
I walk through the sting of past launches, why teaching to an empty room still changed me, and how those reps forged clarity I couldn’t get from a highlight reel.
We also get honest about fit and integrity. I share the boundaries that protect my energy and my craft, from pricing with confidence to saying no without guilt. That space lets me go all-in on the things that really matter to me.
If you’re tired of being stretched thin, this conversation invites you to deprogram urgency, pick fewer, better reps, and choose yourself daily.
If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves
Website: unbreakablemb.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, Tiana.
This episode is calledEverything But the Kitchen Sink.
And we're just going to getright into it because I had this
(00:49):
download this morning while Iwas doing my makeup, and I
realized that this is definitelysomething that I want to chat
with you about.
Because when you're learningsomething, like remember back to
when you were in high school orin middle school or whatever
grade it is, and you werelearning about a subject, you
actually only learned a sliveror a segment or a certain amount
(01:15):
of material related to thatparticular subject.
And then years later, you mighthave revisited it with a new
curriculum, with more expandedthoughts, with a deeper level of
the lessons and the teachingsand what really transpired.
(01:36):
I can think back to thedifference uh in American
history when we were in school,in elementary school, we learned
a few things about what happenedin the past.
And then when we got to highschool, we had American history
again, and we learned somedifferent things.
(01:57):
And the events and the dates andthe people involved didn't
change.
But the level, the magnitude,the amount of death, pain,
drama, tragedies, and theconvictions uh involving the key
(02:18):
players in whatever events wewere learning about was
magnified and was far moreintense because we were older
and we were at a more mature uhemotional level to receive that
information and prop process itappropriately.
So why am I talking about this?
Well, this goes back to the gym.
(02:42):
This goes back to when you'relearning something new for your
craft.
Maybe it's related to your workor it's a hobby or it's a skill
and you're looking to refine it.
And so when you're in thebeginning stages, you're not
gonna learn everything and thekitchen sink all at once because
(03:04):
it's literally too much toprocess and to even make any
sort of steps forward in thedirection that you want to go.
So why am I talking about this?
Well, I am creating somethingand it's getting close to the
wire now where I'm putting allof the pieces together, I'm
fine-tuning, I'm identifyingwhat's missing, and then I'm
(03:29):
gonna be doing some recordingand just getting all of the
pieces in place.
And I remember doing this in thepast and not having the kind of
success that I wanted.
Now, I wouldn't necessarily callit a failure because I actually
did spend time and createsomething.
(03:50):
But I'm a little bittraumatized, and I'll tell you
why.
Because I have spent years of mylife working on creating things.
And when they finally launched,when they were finally put out
to market, when I was finallybrave enough to be visible and
for people to learn about thethings that I was offering, I
(04:13):
did not have the outcome that Ihad dreamt about.
I did not have the type of salesor clients or earn the profit
that I was hoping to make.
Now, I am not somebody who isonly in my work capacity to make
money.
(04:34):
I am here to serve.
However, we have to make aliving.
The bills show up each month,whether you have income coming
in or not.
And coming from the past whereI've come from and having to
deal with a lot of struggle andstress, and sometimes not really
(04:55):
knowing how we're gonna getthrough the month, that's
certainly not the life I want tolive any longer.
And so being self-employed yearsago, being all in on my
business, using only organicmarketing, word of mouth,
referrals, to tell people aboutthe things that I do, to share
(05:20):
the projects and offers that Ihad with the world at the time,
and then put it out there andnot really see the kind of
success I was hoping to generateor create for myself.
It certainly put a damper onthings.
It certainly made me question ifI was qualified, if I knew what
(05:40):
I was doing, if I had the acumento really be in that field.
And social media can reallybring you down because if you're
using it for organic marketingfor any kind of offer, hobby,
interest, even if you own, youknow, let's say um an Etsy shop
and you have merch, you know, ifyou are looking at what other
(06:05):
people are doing, sometimes youcan't help but compare yourself.
And so it's interesting rightnow to be in the position I'm in
because in my eyes, I feel verybrave and courageous to be
putting myself out there yetagain with something that I'm
(06:26):
hoping will be a success andwill help hopefully hundreds,
maybe thousands, but I'll behappy with a small number for
the first initial cart open ofclients that are gonna take this
program, take this offer, andembed it into their lives.
(06:50):
And when I think about it thatway, it's like, wow, I'm
actually looking for a realserious kind of transformation,
even though the price point isunder$100, it's still something
that's going to potentiallychange the course of someone's
life.
And that's a big deal.
(07:11):
But my tendency was always tokeep going back, to go over the
work that I had alreadycompleted, to keep tweaking and
refining and fine-tuning it,re-recording, editing.
And it's like you can get socaught up in the creative
process that maybe the work isnever actually done.
(07:32):
And there comes a point whereyou have to sort of rip the
band-aid off and say, okay, it'sfinished for now, and it's good
enough, and I'm gonna put it outthere.
But it's fucking scary in 2021.
(07:53):
When I left working in personand I went all in with the
training business online, Icreated a course.
I created these other smallerdigital offers, I created a
mentorship for women.
I created so many differentthings and really put myself out
(08:16):
there.
I remember in the beginning of2022, I had put together this
program and I did a five-daylive launch on Facebook and
taught a topic each day Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
card open Thursday, questionsand answers on Friday.
(08:39):
And it can really kill yourspirit when you put so much work
into something and people signup for it if you're lucky, and
nobody would show up to thesecalls.
And it's like, well, I'm alreadyhere.
I set up, you know, mybackground, my lighting, the
(08:59):
Facebook Live or whateverplatform I was on, you know, I
had all of my materials, and Iwanted to have an interactive
sort of experience, but nobodyshowed up to some of these
calls, and I still had to gothrough with it like there was a
large audience watching me.
So of course I'm sweating, myarmpits are sweating.
(09:21):
I'm praying that my neighborsare not too noisy.
I'm hoping that the connectionis strong for the Wi-Fi so that
I don't drop off.
I'm hoping the recording staysand that I get a nice long, full
video that I can then save andedit and upload and maybe use as
a future training for something.
(09:43):
And I did all of that.
And I have to say, looking backnow, I have those videos, of
course, and they're somewherewhere no one else can see them
unless they have the link.
But that was four years ago,over four years ago now.
And I watch these videos or Iwatch pieces of them and I can
(10:04):
see my own evolution, and it isincredible.
And guess what?
That would not have happened ifI didn't follow through with the
live launch and with deliveringthe teachings each day, and with
doing it as if I was presentingto a virtual room of 50 or 100
(10:26):
or 300 people.
I would not have the type ofconfidence that I have today had
I not been through thatexperience in the past.
And so I ask you, would youconsider that a failure?
I don't think so.
Now, did it hurt my ego?
(10:48):
Yeah, it did.
Did I have a few people thatwere interested in that offer?
I did.
They were not a good fit afterdoing discovery calls and really
sitting down with them to askthe right kinds of questions.
And I am someone of integrity.
So it doesn't matter if it's a$60 offer or a$600 offer or a
(11:09):
$6,000 offer.
If I do not feel like theco-working relationship or the
collaboration is going to bebeneficial for the person, I
cannot just take their money.
That is not the type of personthat I am.
I'm happy to refer out.
I'm happy to refer, you know, ina different direction, maybe not
(11:32):
to somebody I know personally,but I've referred plenty of
people.
For example, men and women whowant to do bodybuilding shows
and they'll ask me if I canhandle their show prep.
That is something I used to dothat is not really something I
do any longer, especially for afirst timer.
I've been out of that game for alittle bit.
(11:52):
And yeah, of course.
Do I still have all of myindustry connections?
Do I still love the sport?
Do I still go to bodybuildingshows?
Yes.
But I also know that where I'mat in my life and what suits me
best and what really sets mysoul on fire is something
(12:13):
different.
And so I want to make sure thatI'm sending people in the
direction of, you know, a coachor a mentor or a guide that can
light them up as well and showthem all of the ropes, teach
them everything they need toknow, and be the best fit for
that person.
Now that's just how I operate.
I cannot say the same for everytrainer that's out there.
(12:34):
Training is a really challengingindustry because, yes, it is
very saturated.
And so there's a lot ofcompetition, and you really have
to separate yourself from thecrowd, set yourself apart.
But sometimes that means sayingno to people and turning away
(12:55):
money because the person is notthe right fit for you as a
trainer, as a coach.
And you want to do what's bestfor them, but you also want to
do what's best for you.
Now, circling back to my mainfocus about, you know,
everything but the kitchen sink.
When I think about some of thesedifferent types of offers and
(13:20):
teachings that I have puttogether in the past, I'm proud
of myself that I did it.
I look back at the work and it'sstill good, it's still valid, it
can be repurposed, it can betouched up and it can be applied
today.
And the reason for that isbecause the foundation is the
(13:43):
foundation.
I am a strength coach for women.
I know what it takes, I knowwhat they're dealing with, I
know what it's like to walk outonto the fitness floor and
sometimes just get a littlethrown off.
Maybe you had a specificmovement or exercise that you
(14:06):
wanted to start with, you're notable to do that.
Maybe all the platforms aretaken or all the equipment that
you want is taken.
What do you do?
I have the answers to thosequestions, you know.
Let's say you want to work outfour times a week, but something
happens.
Well, now you can only do three.
So how do you adjust?
How do you scale appropriately?
(14:28):
That comes from years ofexperience.
That comes from knowing whatworks.
So that's what I mean about thefoundation is the same.
It doesn't matter if I look backat workouts from five, 10, 15
years ago, the meat and potatoesis the same.
There may be some tweaks inthere as far as different
(14:50):
mobility exercises I'm doing inthe beginning, or rep ranges, or
maybe different types ofequipment that I'm using.
But generally speaking, themovements, the desired stimulus,
the warm-ups, and the stretchesat the end are all very, very,
(15:10):
very similar.
And that's valuable.
That's worth its weight in gold.
I've always felt that it wasmore valuable for me to focus on
a couple of things or maybe justdial it into one specific thing
(15:32):
and to go really deep with it.
So instead of being a master ofnone knowing all of these these
different things, I can speak tocertain things.
I can speak to certainmodalities, I can speak to
certain sports, hobbies, andactivities.
However, like I said before, I'mhuge on the referrals because I
(15:57):
know that there are other peopleout there that are experts in
those things.
For example, if I wanted to workwith someone and they say, Well,
I'm really focused on thissport, let's say it's field
hockey, let's say it's soccer,let's say it's basketball, I can
give them a general program.
(16:18):
But if they want some real purestrength and conditioning or
sports specific training, I canrefer out.
When it comes to building muscleand getting stronger and getting
the confidence required toeventually just show up and
(16:41):
command the fitness floor, I'myour girl.
And that's literally why Icreated this program called Lift
Like You Mean It.
Now, if you've listened to muchearlier episodes, I did have a
free PDF download.
It was like a mini guide withthe same title.
I love the title so much that Idecided to expand it into a more
(17:04):
comprehensive strength trainingprogram.
And it's been so much fun tocreate this program.
And it's also been an incredibleamount of work.
And throughout the process, Ihave had to keep reminding
myself we do not need to puteverything under the sun in this
(17:25):
program.
Let's focus on the desiredoutcome, which is to teach women
who have experience working out.
We're not complete newbies.
Teach women that haveexperience, but maybe are a
little bit confused about whatthey should do first, how many
(17:45):
days a week, what kind ofweights to use, what rep range
is appropriate, and the type ofvolume they need to be doing on
a week-to-week basis.
And that's it.
Could I include fat loss cardioworkouts?
I could, but I'm not going to.
Could I include a guidedmeditation?
(18:08):
I could, but I'm not going to.
Could I include mobility flows?
I could, but I'm not going to.
Because I know that for me, atthe end of my days, what I want
to be known for is the person.
I want to be known as the personwho gave other women permission
(18:34):
to show up, even if it's messy,even if it's inconsistent, even
if it's not perfect, and get thejob done with whatever they have
available, with the tools attheir disposal, with the time
that they have to figure it outand to make it work.
I want more people, particularlywomen, to stop abandoning
(18:58):
themselves.
Yes, it is amazing the gift ofmotherhood, the gift of being a
wife and a partner to somebody.
Yes, to be a loyal, uh,ambitious, hardworking woman in
your career path.
I'm not taking away from any ofthose things.
But you cannot do any of thosethings well if you are not
(19:23):
taking care of yourself.
And when I say taking care ofyourself, I am talking about
lifting some fucking weightsbecause you need to build muscle
and you need to build bonedensity so that you are not a
weak and frail older woman asyou get older.
(19:51):
There's no secret about it.
Lifting weights is the fountainof youth.
And I'm not talking about thelight weights and doing 15 to 20
reps of everything.
I am also not talking aboutdoing weights in the fitness
classes.
That is different.
(20:12):
That's really cardio with someweights.
Now, I don't want to upsetanybody, but there is a
difference between havingstrength training where you have
autonomy and you're out on thefitness floor lifting heavy shit
and lifting weights in a groupsetting in a fitness studio or
(20:34):
in a small group class.
Is there value in both?
Yes.
But at the end of the day, thetrue weight training is when
you're going significantlyslower, you're not moving to the
beat of the music, you'refocused, you're in your body in
that moment, you're breathing,you're making the mind to muscle
(20:56):
connection, you're thinkingabout what you're working, and
that's it.
You are not thinking about allof the tasks you have to do when
you leave the gym.
You are not thinking about whatyou got to make for dinner.
You are not thinking about theperson next to you and if you're
gonna get more reps in in thetime frame than she does.
(21:17):
You are thinking about the workyou're doing in that moment, and
that is all.
And quite frankly, that may bethe only time of day where you
are actually in your body inthat present moment and not
distracted by your phone orcaught up in what everybody else
needs you to do and havingpeople pull on you.
(21:40):
Now we do this to ourselves aswell because there are people,
sometimes I'm a part of thisgroup as well, where it's like
it feels weird to not be doingsomething, it feels unusual to
not be stressed about something,it feels like eerie or creepy or
odd or like the other.
Their shoes about to drop if youare not in the middle of a
(22:03):
swirling storm.
Take a breath.
Feel the feet.
Feel the ground under your feet.
Unclench your jaw.
You're gonna be okay.
The more you spend time beinggrounded, lifting weights, doing
(22:27):
for you, the better you willfeel in all of the other moments
of your life where you are doingfor everybody else.
But you cannot pour from anempty cup.
So that's really why I had thisburning desire to make this
program.
And listen, is it gonna beperfect?
(22:48):
No.
But it's gonna be my best shot,and I've been putting a lot of
time and effort into it.
And so, you know, it's scaryputting myself back out there
again.
I had to get the LLC, I got uh,you know, different policies for
my website to make sure I'mcovered legally, having like,
(23:11):
you know, terms and conditions,a disclaimer, a privacy policy,
all of that stuff is in place.
Business insurance, a bankaccount, and it's scary because
it's like, oh, we're reallygonna do this again.
Remember what happened lasttime?
And what happened last time wasthat I closed everything down, I
(23:32):
shut it down, I burnt it becauseI was not, I was not being
satisfied the way I needed to.
It didn't matter what kind ofmoney I was generating in the
business, I was dissatisfiedwith it.
So really it all came back tome.
You know, one of my mentorsalways says if you want to know
(23:55):
what personal development oncrack feels like, just start a
business.
Because the success of thebusiness is a direct reflection
of how you feel about yourself,what you think about yourself,
where your mind goes.
And the truth is, I've alwayswanted to help other women.
That is the primary reason why Iquit my job in commercial real
(24:19):
estate property management.
I just felt this calling.
I would have more and morepeople reaching out to me while
I was working full-time inproperty management, asking me
to help them with their diet orrefer them to doctors or to show
them a few things in the gymbecause they wanted to change
their body, they wanted tochange their life.
And so it just became so loudand noisy that I knew that
(24:42):
that's what I had to do.
And that never changed.
But what I didn't know was thatI didn't know how to run a
business.
I didn't know how to marketmyself.
I didn't know how to selltraining.
I didn't know how to sellprograms.
(25:04):
I didn't know how to establishboundaries in a healthy way.
I didn't know how to say nowithout feeling like I was
hurting someone else, withouthaving this tremendous guilt.
See, I was a reformed peoplepleaser.
But there were still these likeundertones left and right
(25:26):
throughout me navigating as anonline business owner that I had
never experienced before.
And then also working withpeople in person in fitness.
And it was a, it was a really, Iwould say, tumultuous journey.
But one that has been soprecious and invaluable.
(25:51):
Because now I do have youngertrainers or trainers who are new
to the industry, and they willask me questions like, How did
you do this?
How did you do that?
How did you become so confident?
How do you seem so calm all thetime?
And it's like, first of all, Iknow exactly who I serve, I know
(26:12):
exactly what I do and what I dowell.
I'm honest with people, and Ialso do not shortchange myself.
At the end of the day, I amrunning a business, and I have
to at least be able to buy mygroceries and pay my bills,
(26:35):
right?
But I also know that I have somuch experience and that's worth
a lot.
And I have to see my own value,just like you have to see your
own value in your life.
You are not a fucking doormat.
You are not, you know, justanother transaction.
You are a human being and youare a person.
And so learning how to say norespectfully, learning what my
(27:02):
limitations are, communicatingthem in a healthy way has been a
game changer for me.
Because the truth is, do I wantto help everybody?
Yes.
Can I?
No.
Do I want to teach everything?
Not really.
Can I?
Yes.
So this goes back to the titleof this episode: Everything but
(27:25):
the kitchen and sink.
We're not doing that anymore.
We do not need to be this likediluted, watered down,
completely spent, ragged shellof a person.
It's not necessary.
And the more that you can startto realize this and maybe pull
back a little bit, the betteryou're gonna feel.
(27:49):
You don't need to answer a textmessage as soon as you get it.
You don't need to roll out ofbed in the morning and dive into
your emails.
I don't care if you think youdo.
You absolutely do not.
You are programmed to believethat.
And it is your job to deprogramthat.
You don't have to do everythingat once at the same time for
(28:14):
everyone.
It is fucking impossible.
The most important thing thatyou can do for yourself, then
for your loved ones, then forthe greater good of the world,
is to take care of yourself, isto choose yourself, is to carve
out a little sliver of timeevery single day just for you.
(28:36):
Because without that, you aregonna be drained.
You're gonna feel like you haveleeches on your body and they
are just sucking the fuckinglife out of you.
And let me tell you, as somebodywho has lived through that, that
does not feel good.
I will not allow that to happenagain.
My first few years as a personaltrainer working in a big box
(28:57):
gym, I remember there werecertain days where I would have
nine or 10 one-hour appointmentsall back to back to back with
maybe a 15-minute window or a20-minute window or a 30-minute
window where I could inhalesomething to eat.
And then there were days where Iwould have one person or zero
people, but I still had to be atthe gym and show face.
(29:19):
I still had to have a presence.
That imbalance.
Trainers, a lot of times, theywill work these early morning
shifts, then they'll have a gapin the middle of the day, then
maybe they'll have a lunchtimeappointment or two, then another
short little gap, then they'llhave nighttime appointments.
(29:43):
That is a key to burnout.
That is the fastest way todestroy yourself, to work these
split shifts.
But a lot of people do it.
As an entrepreneur, especiallyin an online space, it's easy to
work all the time.
There's always something to bedone.
(30:05):
And if you do not have your ownboundaries about what you are
willing to do or not for yourbusiness, for the projects, for
the offers, for your accountant,for your lawyer, for your
website, for this, for that,you're gonna burn yourself out.
So I want you to remember totake a little bit of time out
(30:29):
for yourself each day becausewhen you do that, you're serving
your loved ones and the peoplethat are on the next layer of
your life, like youracquaintances, your network,
your community, your coworkers.
And it is a ripple effect.
It starts with you, and it's aripple effect that hits everyone
(30:52):
else.
And believe me when I tell youthat it is a palpable thing.
You can really feel it.
I hope that this episode hasbeen helpful for you.
Thank you for allowing me toshare my thoughts and to talk to
you a little bit about thisprogram that I've been putting
(31:12):
together.
I've been working on it forquite some time now, and it's
exciting for me to see itactually come to life.
I'm also very scared, and I havebutterflies in my stomach and my
heart's in my throat because I'mputting myself out there yet
again.
(31:32):
But the truth is, if I don't doit, I will always have this
nagging sort of feeling inside,like, but there's something,
almost like there's somethingthat I didn't finish.
And it's really important to meto see things through to the
end, to see things through afull life cycle, to finish the
(31:55):
job that you started instead ofalways jumping ship and
ping-ponging from thing to thingto thing to thing to thing to
thing and leaving half of theprojects undone.
I believe that if it doesn'tserve you, yeah, you should walk
away from something.
However, there is something tobe said for commitment.
There is something to be saidfor getting yourself on the
hook, for holding yourselfaccountable, for having the
(32:17):
discipline to show up every dayand do the work that you said
you were going to do and see itthrough because that's valuable.
I appreciate your time andattention.
As always, if this episoderesonated with you, please
follow along on the show andmaybe give me a rating andor a
(32:39):
review.
It helps when you do that tobump me through the podcast
algorithm so that other peoplecan find the show and then I can
help my get my message out thereto more people, just like you.
Thank you for being here.
I'll catch you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, Tiana.
This episode is calledEverything But the Kitchen Sink.
And we're just going to getright into it because I had this
(00:49):
download this morning while Iwas doing my makeup, and I
realized that this is definitelysomething that I want to chat
with you about.
Because when you're learningsomething, like remember back to
when you were in high school orin middle school or whatever
grade it is, and you werelearning about a subject, you
actually only learned a sliveror a segment or a certain amount
(01:15):
of material related to thatparticular subject.
And then years later, you mighthave revisited it with a new
curriculum, with more expandedthoughts, with a deeper level of
the lessons and the teachingsand what really transpired.
(01:36):
I can think back to thedifference uh in American
history when we were in school,in elementary school, we learned
a few things about what happenedin the past.
And then when we got to highschool, we had American history
again, and we learned somedifferent things.
(01:57):
And the events and the dates andthe people involved didn't
change.
But the level, the magnitude,the amount of death, pain,
drama, tragedies, and theconvictions uh involving the key
(02:18):
players in whatever events wewere learning about was
magnified and was far moreintense because we were older
and we were at a more mature uhemotional level to receive that
information and prop process itappropriately.
So why am I talking about this?
Well, this goes back to the gym.
(02:42):
This goes back to when you'relearning something new for your
craft.
Maybe it's related to your workor it's a hobby or it's a skill
and you're looking to refine it.
And so when you're in thebeginning stages, you're not
gonna learn everything and thekitchen sink all at once because
(03:04):
it's literally too much toprocess and to even make any
sort of steps forward in thedirection that you want to go.
So why am I talking about this?
Well, I am creating somethingand it's getting close to the
wire now where I'm putting allof the pieces together, I'm
fine-tuning, I'm identifyingwhat's missing, and then I'm
(03:29):
gonna be doing some recordingand just getting all of the
pieces in place.
And I remember doing this in thepast and not having the kind of
success that I wanted.
Now, I wouldn't necessarily callit a failure because I actually
did spend time and createsomething.
(03:50):
But I'm a little bittraumatized, and I'll tell you
why.
Because I have spent years of mylife working on creating things.
And when they finally launched,when they were finally put out
to market, when I was finallybrave enough to be visible and
for people to learn about thethings that I was offering, I
(04:13):
did not have the outcome that Ihad dreamt about.
I did not have the type of salesor clients or earn the profit
that I was hoping to make.
Now, I am not somebody who isonly in my work capacity to make
money.
(04:34):
I am here to serve.
However, we have to make aliving.
The bills show up each month,whether you have income coming
in or not.
And coming from the past whereI've come from and having to
deal with a lot of struggle andstress, and sometimes not really
(04:55):
knowing how we're gonna getthrough the month, that's
certainly not the life I want tolive any longer.
And so being self-employed yearsago, being all in on my
business, using only organicmarketing, word of mouth,
referrals, to tell people aboutthe things that I do, to share
(05:20):
the projects and offers that Ihad with the world at the time,
and then put it out there andnot really see the kind of
success I was hoping to generateor create for myself.
It certainly put a damper onthings.
It certainly made me question ifI was qualified, if I knew what
(05:40):
I was doing, if I had the acumento really be in that field.
And social media can reallybring you down because if you're
using it for organic marketingfor any kind of offer, hobby,
interest, even if you own, youknow, let's say um an Etsy shop
and you have merch, you know, ifyou are looking at what other
(06:05):
people are doing, sometimes youcan't help but compare yourself.
And so it's interesting rightnow to be in the position I'm in
because in my eyes, I feel verybrave and courageous to be
putting myself out there yetagain with something that I'm
(06:26):
hoping will be a success andwill help hopefully hundreds,
maybe thousands, but I'll behappy with a small number for
the first initial cart open ofclients that are gonna take this
program, take this offer, andembed it into their lives.
(06:50):
And when I think about it thatway, it's like, wow, I'm
actually looking for a realserious kind of transformation,
even though the price point isunder$100, it's still something
that's going to potentiallychange the course of someone's
life.
And that's a big deal.
(07:11):
But my tendency was always tokeep going back, to go over the
work that I had alreadycompleted, to keep tweaking and
refining and fine-tuning it,re-recording, editing.
And it's like you can get socaught up in the creative
process that maybe the work isnever actually done.
(07:32):
And there comes a point whereyou have to sort of rip the
band-aid off and say, okay, it'sfinished for now, and it's good
enough, and I'm gonna put it outthere.
But it's fucking scary in 2021.
(07:53):
When I left working in personand I went all in with the
training business online, Icreated a course.
I created these other smallerdigital offers, I created a
mentorship for women.
I created so many differentthings and really put myself out
(08:16):
there.
I remember in the beginning of2022, I had put together this
program and I did a five-daylive launch on Facebook and
taught a topic each day Monday,Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,
card open Thursday, questionsand answers on Friday.
(08:39):
And it can really kill yourspirit when you put so much work
into something and people signup for it if you're lucky, and
nobody would show up to thesecalls.
And it's like, well, I'm alreadyhere.
I set up, you know, mybackground, my lighting, the
(08:59):
Facebook Live or whateverplatform I was on, you know, I
had all of my materials, and Iwanted to have an interactive
sort of experience, but nobodyshowed up to some of these
calls, and I still had to gothrough with it like there was a
large audience watching me.
So of course I'm sweating, myarmpits are sweating.
(09:21):
I'm praying that my neighborsare not too noisy.
I'm hoping that the connectionis strong for the Wi-Fi so that
I don't drop off.
I'm hoping the recording staysand that I get a nice long, full
video that I can then save andedit and upload and maybe use as
a future training for something.
(09:43):
And I did all of that.
And I have to say, looking backnow, I have those videos, of
course, and they're somewherewhere no one else can see them
unless they have the link.
But that was four years ago,over four years ago now.
And I watch these videos or Iwatch pieces of them and I can
(10:04):
see my own evolution, and it isincredible.
And guess what?
That would not have happened ifI didn't follow through with the
live launch and with deliveringthe teachings each day, and with
doing it as if I was presentingto a virtual room of 50 or 100
(10:26):
or 300 people.
I would not have the type ofconfidence that I have today had
I not been through thatexperience in the past.
And so I ask you, would youconsider that a failure?
I don't think so.
Now, did it hurt my ego?
(10:48):
Yeah, it did.
Did I have a few people thatwere interested in that offer?
I did.
They were not a good fit afterdoing discovery calls and really
sitting down with them to askthe right kinds of questions.
And I am someone of integrity.
So it doesn't matter if it's a$60 offer or a$600 offer or a
(11:09):
$6,000 offer.
If I do not feel like theco-working relationship or the
collaboration is going to bebeneficial for the person, I
cannot just take their money.
That is not the type of personthat I am.
I'm happy to refer out.
I'm happy to refer, you know, ina different direction, maybe not
(11:32):
to somebody I know personally,but I've referred plenty of
people.
For example, men and women whowant to do bodybuilding shows
and they'll ask me if I canhandle their show prep.
That is something I used to dothat is not really something I
do any longer, especially for afirst timer.
I've been out of that game for alittle bit.
(11:52):
And yeah, of course.
Do I still have all of myindustry connections?
Do I still love the sport?
Do I still go to bodybuildingshows?
Yes.
But I also know that where I'mat in my life and what suits me
best and what really sets mysoul on fire is something
(12:13):
different.
And so I want to make sure thatI'm sending people in the
direction of, you know, a coachor a mentor or a guide that can
light them up as well and showthem all of the ropes, teach
them everything they need toknow, and be the best fit for
that person.
Now that's just how I operate.
I cannot say the same for everytrainer that's out there.
(12:34):
Training is a really challengingindustry because, yes, it is
very saturated.
And so there's a lot ofcompetition, and you really have
to separate yourself from thecrowd, set yourself apart.
But sometimes that means sayingno to people and turning away
(12:55):
money because the person is notthe right fit for you as a
trainer, as a coach.
And you want to do what's bestfor them, but you also want to
do what's best for you.
Now, circling back to my mainfocus about, you know,
everything but the kitchen sink.
When I think about some of thesedifferent types of offers and
(13:20):
teachings that I have puttogether in the past, I'm proud
of myself that I did it.
I look back at the work and it'sstill good, it's still valid, it
can be repurposed, it can betouched up and it can be applied
today.
And the reason for that isbecause the foundation is the
(13:43):
foundation.
I am a strength coach for women.
I know what it takes, I knowwhat they're dealing with, I
know what it's like to walk outonto the fitness floor and
sometimes just get a littlethrown off.
Maybe you had a specificmovement or exercise that you
(14:06):
wanted to start with, you're notable to do that.
Maybe all the platforms aretaken or all the equipment that
you want is taken.
What do you do?
I have the answers to thosequestions, you know.
Let's say you want to work outfour times a week, but something
happens.
Well, now you can only do three.
So how do you adjust?
How do you scale appropriately?
(14:28):
That comes from years ofexperience.
That comes from knowing whatworks.
So that's what I mean about thefoundation is the same.
It doesn't matter if I look backat workouts from five, 10, 15
years ago, the meat and potatoesis the same.
There may be some tweaks inthere as far as different
(14:50):
mobility exercises I'm doing inthe beginning, or rep ranges, or
maybe different types ofequipment that I'm using.
But generally speaking, themovements, the desired stimulus,
the warm-ups, and the stretchesat the end are all very, very,
(15:10):
very similar.
And that's valuable.
That's worth its weight in gold.
I've always felt that it wasmore valuable for me to focus on
a couple of things or maybe justdial it into one specific thing
(15:32):
and to go really deep with it.
So instead of being a master ofnone knowing all of these these
different things, I can speak tocertain things.
I can speak to certainmodalities, I can speak to
certain sports, hobbies, andactivities.
However, like I said before, I'mhuge on the referrals because I
(15:57):
know that there are other peopleout there that are experts in
those things.
For example, if I wanted to workwith someone and they say, Well,
I'm really focused on thissport, let's say it's field
hockey, let's say it's soccer,let's say it's basketball, I can
give them a general program.
(16:18):
But if they want some real purestrength and conditioning or
sports specific training, I canrefer out.
When it comes to building muscleand getting stronger and getting
the confidence required toeventually just show up and
(16:41):
command the fitness floor, I'myour girl.
And that's literally why Icreated this program called Lift
Like You Mean It.
Now, if you've listened to muchearlier episodes, I did have a
free PDF download.
It was like a mini guide withthe same title.
I love the title so much that Idecided to expand it into a more
(17:04):
comprehensive strength trainingprogram.
And it's been so much fun tocreate this program.
And it's also been an incredibleamount of work.
And throughout the process, Ihave had to keep reminding
myself we do not need to puteverything under the sun in this
(17:25):
program.
Let's focus on the desiredoutcome, which is to teach women
who have experience working out.
We're not complete newbies.
Teach women that haveexperience, but maybe are a
little bit confused about whatthey should do first, how many
(17:45):
days a week, what kind ofweights to use, what rep range
is appropriate, and the type ofvolume they need to be doing on
a week-to-week basis.
And that's it.
Could I include fat loss cardioworkouts?
I could, but I'm not going to.
Could I include a guidedmeditation?
(18:08):
I could, but I'm not going to.
Could I include mobility flows?
I could, but I'm not going to.
Because I know that for me, atthe end of my days, what I want
to be known for is the person.
I want to be known as the personwho gave other women permission
(18:34):
to show up, even if it's messy,even if it's inconsistent, even
if it's not perfect, and get thejob done with whatever they have
available, with the tools attheir disposal, with the time
that they have to figure it outand to make it work.
I want more people, particularlywomen, to stop abandoning
(18:58):
themselves.
Yes, it is amazing the gift ofmotherhood, the gift of being a
wife and a partner to somebody.
Yes, to be a loyal, uh,ambitious, hardworking woman in
your career path.
I'm not taking away from any ofthose things.
But you cannot do any of thosethings well if you are not
(19:23):
taking care of yourself.
And when I say taking care ofyourself, I am talking about
lifting some fucking weightsbecause you need to build muscle
and you need to build bonedensity so that you are not a
weak and frail older woman asyou get older.
(19:51):
There's no secret about it.
Lifting weights is the fountainof youth.
And I'm not talking about thelight weights and doing 15 to 20
reps of everything.
I am also not talking aboutdoing weights in the fitness
classes.
That is different.
(20:12):
That's really cardio with someweights.
Now, I don't want to upsetanybody, but there is a
difference between havingstrength training where you have
autonomy and you're out on thefitness floor lifting heavy shit
and lifting weights in a groupsetting in a fitness studio or
(20:34):
in a small group class.
Is there value in both?
Yes.
But at the end of the day, thetrue weight training is when
you're going significantlyslower, you're not moving to the
beat of the music, you'refocused, you're in your body in
that moment, you're breathing,you're making the mind to muscle
(20:56):
connection, you're thinkingabout what you're working, and
that's it.
You are not thinking about allof the tasks you have to do when
you leave the gym.
You are not thinking about whatyou got to make for dinner.
You are not thinking about theperson next to you and if you're
gonna get more reps in in thetime frame than she does.
(21:17):
You are thinking about the workyou're doing in that moment, and
that is all.
And quite frankly, that may bethe only time of day where you
are actually in your body inthat present moment and not
distracted by your phone orcaught up in what everybody else
needs you to do and havingpeople pull on you.
(21:40):
Now we do this to ourselves aswell because there are people,
sometimes I'm a part of thisgroup as well, where it's like
it feels weird to not be doingsomething, it feels unusual to
not be stressed about something,it feels like eerie or creepy or
odd or like the other.
Their shoes about to drop if youare not in the middle of a
(22:03):
swirling storm.
Take a breath.
Feel the feet.
Feel the ground under your feet.
Unclench your jaw.
You're gonna be okay.
The more you spend time beinggrounded, lifting weights, doing
(22:27):
for you, the better you willfeel in all of the other moments
of your life where you are doingfor everybody else.
But you cannot pour from anempty cup.
So that's really why I had thisburning desire to make this
program.
And listen, is it gonna beperfect?
(22:48):
No.
But it's gonna be my best shot,and I've been putting a lot of
time and effort into it.
And so, you know, it's scaryputting myself back out there
again.
I had to get the LLC, I got uh,you know, different policies for
my website to make sure I'mcovered legally, having like,
(23:11):
you know, terms and conditions,a disclaimer, a privacy policy,
all of that stuff is in place.
Business insurance, a bankaccount, and it's scary because
it's like, oh, we're reallygonna do this again.
Remember what happened lasttime?
And what happened last time wasthat I closed everything down, I
(23:32):
shut it down, I burnt it becauseI was not, I was not being
satisfied the way I needed to.
It didn't matter what kind ofmoney I was generating in the
business, I was dissatisfiedwith it.
So really it all came back tome.
You know, one of my mentorsalways says if you want to know
(23:55):
what personal development oncrack feels like, just start a
business.
Because the success of thebusiness is a direct reflection
of how you feel about yourself,what you think about yourself,
where your mind goes.
And the truth is, I've alwayswanted to help other women.
That is the primary reason why Iquit my job in commercial real
(24:19):
estate property management.
I just felt this calling.
I would have more and morepeople reaching out to me while
I was working full-time inproperty management, asking me
to help them with their diet orrefer them to doctors or to show
them a few things in the gymbecause they wanted to change
their body, they wanted tochange their life.
And so it just became so loudand noisy that I knew that
(24:42):
that's what I had to do.
And that never changed.
But what I didn't know was thatI didn't know how to run a
business.
I didn't know how to marketmyself.
I didn't know how to selltraining.
I didn't know how to sellprograms.
(25:04):
I didn't know how to establishboundaries in a healthy way.
I didn't know how to say nowithout feeling like I was
hurting someone else, withouthaving this tremendous guilt.
See, I was a reformed peoplepleaser.
But there were still these likeundertones left and right
(25:26):
throughout me navigating as anonline business owner that I had
never experienced before.
And then also working withpeople in person in fitness.
And it was a, it was a really, Iwould say, tumultuous journey.
But one that has been soprecious and invaluable.
(25:51):
Because now I do have youngertrainers or trainers who are new
to the industry, and they willask me questions like, How did
you do this?
How did you do that?
How did you become so confident?
How do you seem so calm all thetime?
And it's like, first of all, Iknow exactly who I serve, I know
(26:12):
exactly what I do and what I dowell.
I'm honest with people, and Ialso do not shortchange myself.
At the end of the day, I amrunning a business, and I have
to at least be able to buy mygroceries and pay my bills,
(26:35):
right?
But I also know that I have somuch experience and that's worth
a lot.
And I have to see my own value,just like you have to see your
own value in your life.
You are not a fucking doormat.
You are not, you know, justanother transaction.
You are a human being and youare a person.
And so learning how to say norespectfully, learning what my
(27:02):
limitations are, communicatingthem in a healthy way has been a
game changer for me.
Because the truth is, do I wantto help everybody?
Yes.
Can I?
No.
Do I want to teach everything?
Not really.
Can I?
Yes.
So this goes back to the titleof this episode: Everything but
(27:25):
the kitchen and sink.
We're not doing that anymore.
We do not need to be this likediluted, watered down,
completely spent, ragged shellof a person.
It's not necessary.
And the more that you can startto realize this and maybe pull
back a little bit, the betteryou're gonna feel.
(27:49):
You don't need to answer a textmessage as soon as you get it.
You don't need to roll out ofbed in the morning and dive into
your emails.
I don't care if you think youdo.
You absolutely do not.
You are programmed to believethat.
And it is your job to deprogramthat.
You don't have to do everythingat once at the same time for
(28:14):
everyone.
It is fucking impossible.
The most important thing thatyou can do for yourself, then
for your loved ones, then forthe greater good of the world,
is to take care of yourself, isto choose yourself, is to carve
out a little sliver of timeevery single day just for you.
(28:36):
Because without that, you aregonna be drained.
You're gonna feel like you haveleeches on your body and they
are just sucking the fuckinglife out of you.
And let me tell you, as somebodywho has lived through that, that
does not feel good.
I will not allow that to happenagain.
My first few years as a personaltrainer working in a big box
(28:57):
gym, I remember there werecertain days where I would have
nine or 10 one-hour appointmentsall back to back to back with
maybe a 15-minute window or a20-minute window or a 30-minute
window where I could inhalesomething to eat.
And then there were days where Iwould have one person or zero
people, but I still had to be atthe gym and show face.
(29:19):
I still had to have a presence.
That imbalance.
Trainers, a lot of times, theywill work these early morning
shifts, then they'll have a gapin the middle of the day, then
maybe they'll have a lunchtimeappointment or two, then another
short little gap, then they'llhave nighttime appointments.
(29:43):
That is a key to burnout.
That is the fastest way todestroy yourself, to work these
split shifts.
But a lot of people do it.
As an entrepreneur, especiallyin an online space, it's easy to
work all the time.
There's always something to bedone.
(30:05):
And if you do not have your ownboundaries about what you are
willing to do or not for yourbusiness, for the projects, for
the offers, for your accountant,for your lawyer, for your
website, for this, for that,you're gonna burn yourself out.
So I want you to remember totake a little bit of time out
(30:29):
for yourself each day becausewhen you do that, you're serving
your loved ones and the peoplethat are on the next layer of
your life, like youracquaintances, your network,
your community, your coworkers.
And it is a ripple effect.
It starts with you, and it's aripple effect that hits everyone
(30:52):
else.
And believe me when I tell youthat it is a palpable thing.
You can really feel it.
I hope that this episode hasbeen helpful for you.
Thank you for allowing me toshare my thoughts and to talk to
you a little bit about thisprogram that I've been putting
(31:12):
together.
I've been working on it forquite some time now, and it's
exciting for me to see itactually come to life.
I'm also very scared, and I havebutterflies in my stomach and my
heart's in my throat because I'mputting myself out there yet
again.
(31:32):
But the truth is, if I don't doit, I will always have this
nagging sort of feeling inside,like, but there's something,
almost like there's somethingthat I didn't finish.
And it's really important to meto see things through to the
end, to see things through afull life cycle, to finish the
(31:55):
job that you started instead ofalways jumping ship and
ping-ponging from thing to thingto thing to thing to thing to
thing and leaving half of theprojects undone.
I believe that if it doesn'tserve you, yeah, you should walk
away from something.
However, there is something tobe said for commitment.
There is something to be saidfor getting yourself on the
hook, for holding yourselfaccountable, for having the
(32:17):
discipline to show up every dayand do the work that you said
you were going to do and see itthrough because that's valuable.
I appreciate your time andattention.
As always, if this episoderesonated with you, please
follow along on the show andmaybe give me a rating andor a
(32:39):
review.
It helps when you do that tobump me through the podcast
algorithm so that other peoplecan find the show and then I can
help my get my message out thereto more people, just like you.
Thank you for being here.
I'll catch you on the next one.
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