March 30, 2026 • 28 mins
Playing it safe can sound like wisdom, but sometimes it’s just fear with better PR. I’m Tiana Gonzalez, and I’m getting honest about the ways we talk ourselves out of the very things that would make us stronger, calmer, and more capable. If you’ve ever felt a spark of excitement, then watched it die under “logic,” overplanning, or someone else’s opinion, this conversation is for you.
If this hits home, subscribe, share it with a friend who keeps postponing, and leave a review so more women can find the path to an unbreakable mind and body.
If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE
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Website: unbreakablemb.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, Tiana, and thisepisode, episode 70, actually,
we're going to talk about whyplaying it safe is keeping you
(00:49):
stuck.
Listen, I understand.
Maybe you're scared, maybeyou're nervous.
You have talked yourself out ofdoing something before you even
tried it.
You saw someone maybe dosomething, post something, share
something, and it got you reallyexcited in the moment.
(01:11):
And then logic started to kickin, and you started to talk
yourself out of it.
And you started to come up withall of the reasons why maybe
it's not such a great ideaanymore.
Or when you circled back, nowyou're looking at it from a
different lens.
Maybe you made the mistake oftelling somebody, and all of
(01:32):
that excitement is nowcompletely deflated.
Well, on this episode, we'regoing to talk about why caution
feels responsible, but usuallywhen you pull back the curtain,
it's avoidance.
(01:58):
And I'm going to help you breakthe cycle so that we can uncover
what it actually looks like tostart from right where you are.
Now, you may know that thispodcast is a perfect example of
something where I had this greatidea.
I was pumped.
I was excited.
I was all in.
(02:19):
I watched tutorials.
I got the microphone.
I downloaded the software.
I learned how to use it.
I learned how to edit.
I learned about copyrightinfringement and what not to do.
I learned about naming yourpodcast and picking a topic and
coming up with all of theepisodes, recorded 13 episodes,
edited them, saved them in afolder on my desktop, and did
(02:44):
not publish anything for threeyears.
Or maybe you've heard the storyabout how in 2017 an
acquaintance reached out to meand he asked me to compete in a
mixed doubles masters CrossFitcompetition.
So mixed doubles means it's amale-female team.
(03:06):
Uh Masters is 40 plus, and wecompeted in a local CrossFit
competition.
But here's the interesting partwe never worked out together.
We could not even get ourschedules to align to come to
practice before the competitiontogether.
(03:26):
We showed up, we shook hands, wegot our t-shirts or whatever it
was that we were wearing, and wejust went in.
Thankfully, we were able tocommunicate with each other, but
that's a perfect example ofwhere I could have used every,
not even an excuse, every reasonto just say, hey, this isn't
(03:47):
going to work out for me.
I don't feel fully prepared.
Well, I did not feel fullyprepared, but I didn't let it
stop me that time.
Now it's interesting when Ithink back to certain things,
why sometimes I just went aheadand did the thing, even though I
was scared, even though I didn'tknow what I was doing, even
(04:08):
though I didn't know any kind ofcertainty as to what the outcome
was going to be.
But then other times I allow myfears, I allow my self-judgment,
I allow the imagined criticismto take over and to put me in a
chokehold and stop me.
So let's talk about first threeways in which I see caution or
(04:33):
being overly cautious disguisingitself.
How about waiting to knowenough?
Waiting to know enough, waitingto have enough information,
collecting information.
You already know what I'mtalking about.
If it's not you, it's someoneyou know.
(04:54):
They listen to podcasts, theyconsume every piece of content
from their favorite thoughtleader, influencer, coach, guru.
Listen, some of those people areactually qualified, intelligent,
capable, and smart and know whatthey're talking about.
But it's very easy to get pulledinto someone's bubble.
(05:18):
And if they continue to give youconfirmation bias on something
you suspect or believe, and youmight not have the science and
the published journals to backup the data.
It's not proven by anyscientific method.
You're really just trusting thisperson's thoughts and opinions.
(05:40):
And that could be valid for somethings, but it's always going to
leave this gray area of like,well, is that true or is that
just what this person's opinionis?
And is that true or is that justwhat this person's experience
is?
Now, in bodybuilding, we have aterm called anecdotal evidence.
(06:02):
Meaning, yes, I competed inshows for over a decade, and I
learned how my body responded tocertain things.
So I would take notes throughouteach competition prep journey,
and then I would be able toreflect back.
And it was helpful for mebecause I would know what my
(06:22):
body's patterns are, I wouldknow what things it liked, I
would know how it typicallyresponded to certain things.
But here's the thing (06:28):
what works for me may not work for you.
And what I learned over time isthat what works for me or what
worked for me in previous showsmay not work for me now.
So that's anecdotal evidencebecause it worked once, maybe
twice, but that doesn't meanthere's any science behind it.
Now, here's the second way: waiting for the right time. (06:47):
undefined
So, first it was waiting forhaving enough information.
Now it's waiting for the righttime.
And you already know.
Oh, I'm going on a cruise, I'llwait until I come back.
Oh, um I'm gonna be travelingthis week for work, I'll catch
(07:08):
up with you the followingMonday.
I'll start on Monday.
Oh, it's the middle of the week.
I will start my new diet onMonday.
You have said it, you've heardit.
You know that you know thatthat's true.
Come on.
I've done it too.
I'm guilty.
But here's the thing (07:26):
you're waiting for perfect conditions
to start something.
If it's meant to be sustainable,if it's meant to be something
that you're gonna incorporateinto your lifestyle, if it's
meant to challenge you and tofor you to become somebody new,
(07:47):
it does not matter what theconditions are.
It does not matter if you starton a Wednesday, it does not
matter if you start one week andyou have to travel the following
week.
You are working on creatinghabits and then slowly but
surely chipping away to buildthe path and lay it out for the
(08:08):
new thing that you're movingtowards.
Now, for the purpose of thispodcast and conversation, we're
gonna keep it to lifting becausethat's my jam, that's my bread
and butter, that's what I'mpassionate about, and that's
what I personally feel like ifyou're physically capable of,
you should be doing that.
And I don't like to use the wordshould, but in this instance,
I'm speaking with my chestproud.
(08:31):
Lift the weights, but I digress.
So here's the third way thatcaution can disguise itself, and
that's waiting to feelconfident.
I used to coach at a CrossFitgym.
And when I worked at thisCrossFit gym, I also worked at
other gyms as well.
(08:51):
It's very common for most peoplein fitness to have a couple of
different gigs.
We may have one primary gigwhere we do the bulk of our
work, and then we pick up aclass here or an extracurricular
there, or maybe an after-schoolprogram, or we help somebody's
kids with, you know, some drillsfor their sport, maybe some
soccer, basketball, whatever thecase is.
(09:13):
And when I would go to otherplaces and tell folks, like,
yeah, I work at a CrossFit gymtoo, they would say things like,
I'd love to try it, but I got toget in shape first.
Or, well, I'd love to go there,but I'm not ready.
Or I want to lose 15 poundsfirst and then I'll start weight
(09:34):
training.
Why?
Why do you think people lookbetter than you?
Or that you have to fit acertain made-up criteria in
order to start learning how tolift weights and in order to
start building the body that youdesire.
(09:55):
You build your confidencelifting weights by lifting
weights.
You just have to do the thing.
You don't plan and think andcome up with every single step
in your brain and have it laidout perfectly.
You show up, you may have somethings on your checklist that
you're gonna run through beforeyou start your lift, but you
(10:18):
really learn by doing it.
You have to feel it in yourbody.
So, what's actually happeningwhen you wait?
First thing I'm gonna tell youis that being overly cautious
has a cost.
(10:38):
Sometimes we think of waiting asbeing neutral.
Like we're we're not reallylosing anything by not starting.
But time is your most valuablecommodity, and the truth is none
of us know how much of it wehave until our time is up.
So every week that you'rewaiting, you don't get back.
(11:02):
Every month you postpone, youdon't get that back.
Every year that you keep puttingit off, and you say you're gonna
try again next year or nextJanuary, you don't get that time
back.
And the thing is there are womenwho kept waiting and waiting and
waiting until they were in their60s, 70s, maybe even their 80s,
(11:25):
if they're lucky, and they couldhave been working on their
preventative care long beforethat.
But instead they chose otherthings.
And so now they are seniors andthey are frail, they are
fragile.
(11:45):
If they fall, they might nothave the strength to push
themselves up off the floor andget up.
I'm sure you've heard it.
When someone who is seniorfalls, it could be deadly for
them.
That's not an exaggeration.
So another thing that isactually happening when we wait
(12:10):
is that the imperfect actionstarts to compound.
See, progress is not linear,it's built from layers.
And so every workout, even theshitty ones, even the ones that
feel like I only did 20 minutes,I didn't have the right shoes
on, I'm starving and I feelweak, or I ate too much and I'm
(12:34):
too full.
They all compound upon eachother.
So it's not one single workout,but it's the actions, it's the
attempts, it's the doing, it'sthe showing up.
And the person who starts messyand just makes adjustments along
(12:54):
the way and starts to figure outlike what are their weaknesses,
where are their the holes intheir strategy, how can they
make this process better forthem?
Those are the people who are atthe end of the day going to end
up further along, as opposed tothe one who is just waiting for
everything to line up perfectly.
(13:16):
We are living in a differenttime where it's so common, I
hear it often, where peopledon't know what to do with
themselves if they have a fewhours of downtime.
And I'm guilty of this myself.
I fill it with work.
You know, I've got the podcast,I write on Substack, I'm
(13:37):
building a new business out.
I'm gonna be getting businesscoaching.
I work full time, I love what Ido, I have a great partner and
we spend time together.
And so it's like, whoa, whoa,whoa.
My plate is as full as I wouldlike it to be.
And I don't want a crumb moreright now.
(13:59):
The goal will be to do less overtime so that I can make space to
breathe, to think, to plan, tomaybe go on vacation.
And I'd like for you to thinkabout that too.
But if you never start, youdon't allow yourself to make
mistakes, you don't allowyourself to be messy, if you
don't allow yourself to justsay, ah, whatever, this is good
(14:22):
enough for today.
It's not perfect, but it's goodenough.
That's how you figure out howyou can improve, process
improvement, right?
Now, the third way, or the thirdtruth about what's actually
happening when you're waiting isthat you're never gonna feel
(14:45):
ready.
It's not something you wait for,it's not something that's going
to ding dong, ring yourdoorbell, or call you, or send
you a text message.
It's not gonna show up in anAmazon box at your doorstep.
You're never gonna feel fullyready.
You just have to take theplunge.
(15:08):
Do the thing, launch it.
And this applies right to comingto the weight room.
The woman who is ready is notthe one who's done all her
research, it's the one whodecides she'll figure it out, or
she'll hire somebody to help herand commits to the process.
(15:33):
There's no shortcut here.
And I truly believe in thedirection in which the world is
beginning to move withartificial intelligence and with
technology, the more human youcan become the stronger you're
(15:57):
going to be in the future.
Meaning when you build gritthrough doing difficult things,
you will have mental strength toface challenges.
That's truly what this wholepodcast is about.
That's why we're here.
I'm here to share this stuffwith you because I don't want
(16:22):
you to be afraid.
I don't want you to feel scared.
I don't want you to be on thesidelines.
I want you to be able to defendyourself.
I want you to be able to makedecisions.
I want you to be able to thinkquickly.
Now, listening to a podcastversus taking action, they are
two different things.
But when you put them together,well, now you've got a formula.
(16:45):
Because this is the mind, andthen you work the body.
And that's why I came up withthis whole idea in the first
place.
Unbreakable mind and body.
This is where we talk about thestuff, but we also have to go
and do it.
So, how do we get from waitingto moving?
This is the shift.
(17:06):
This is really important.
You have to sit down and thinkabout what it is you're actually
avoiding.
Give it a name.
This requires you to get honestwith yourself.
This requires you to take a goodlook in the mirror and to call
yourself out on your ownbullshit.
(17:26):
What do you keep restarting andwhy?
Let's give it a name.
Now, the second thing you needto do is define what would
starting look like right now.
It's not the perfect time.
Work is busy as fuck, your kidsare busy, everything's busy,
busy, busy, busy.
Yeah, that's not gonna change.
You're just gonna get busier.
(17:47):
So, what would looking, whatwould starting look like now?
What do you have available?
Where can you make time?
Where can you put appointmentsin your calendar?
Now, the next thing I want youto do is think about what is an
ideal day look like in the gym,and then what does a difficult
(18:10):
day look like in the gym?
And I don't mean difficult inthe sense that the workout is
difficult.
What I mean is what would theminimum dose be?
You've heard me talk about likethe minimum viable dose.
In some instances, you may hearpeople talk about the minimum
viable product.
So in this instance, what wouldbe the minimal amount of time or
(18:31):
the minimal commitment you canmake to yourself to feel like
you're at least scratching thesurface, that you're making a
little bit of a dent.
What would that be?
Would it be 20 minutes?
Would it be 30 minutes?
For me, I'm telling you rightnow, and I know I'm on another
level, so don't compareyourself.
30 plus years of experiencedoing this.
(18:54):
For me personally, I need tomove my body five to six times
per week.
Ideally, I love to lift weights.
I love heavy lifting four tofive days a week, maybe one to
two, just depends on where I'mat and what season of cardio.
And that's to keep my hearthealthy.
(19:14):
And I also want a full rest daywhere I'm not even stepping into
the gym, where I'm not evenputting on tight workout
clothes, where I am eating andrelaxing and not in a gym.
And for me, those sessions haveto be about 45 minutes to an
hour and 15.
(19:35):
That's my minimum.
That might not be your minimum,and that's okay.
And then the last thing here, inorder to really shift from
waiting to moving, you have toget accountable.
Now, I said this in the lastepisode, and quite frankly, I
say a lot of the same things inthese episodes because this is
my truth.
These are my values, and this iswhat I know and believe works
(19:58):
for 99% of the women out therewho need to get stronger so that
they can protect themselves, sothat they can protect their
children, so that they are notan easy target when they're out
grocery shopping or when they'reout in the mall.
You do not want to be easy prey.
You want someone to look at youand be like, yeah, I'm gonna
skip over her.
(20:20):
That's what you want.
And I don't mean to get allintense and crazy, but we are
living in a crazy time.
And preparation cannot beunderstated.
So what are we gonna do now?
Well, everything in this episodewas about shifting from you know
(20:44):
the cost of waiting to togetting moving, right?
But what if you don't know whatto do?
So what's the solution there?
And again, I talk about this ona lot of these episodes.
You have options.
You could find a trainer to workwith in person, but don't waste
(21:07):
their time if you're really notinterested or if you don't want
to invest in yourself, don'twaste the trainer's time.
If you just want information,you can use a lot of other
resources than making acomplimentary appointment with a
trainer that thinks you're gonnabuy from them and then you're
just kicking the tires.
Don't do that.
But if you're genuinelyinterested, that's a valuable
(21:29):
conversation.
Another option you have is tobuy a strength program.
Now there's a lot out there andit's confusing, but what you
want to look for is a strengthtraining program, something
that's going to show you how totrain properly to build muscle
and get stronger.
And I have to make thisclarification here getting
(21:52):
stronger and building muscle arenot equivalent.
I'm going to say that again.
And building muscle are not oneand the same.
They are two different things.
It is important we talk aboutthe distinction because getting
stronger does not necessarilyimply that you're going to build
(22:20):
bigger muscles and that you'regoing to lose body fat and that
you're going to look like acomic book character or a
superhero or a movie star justfrom getting stronger.
You can accomplish those things,but not by chance.
(22:43):
Okay?
And I'm gonna just just stickwith me now and I'll I'll bring
it all home.
Building muscle, you would dothe same or similar exercises.
The layout is the same, thefoundation, the movement
patterns, the number of days ofweeks, of how you train, the
(23:07):
number, the number of days inwhich you're going to train per
week.
So a three-day split, four-daysplit, five-day split, whatever.
How you split up your body willbe the same.
But the distinction, which isimportant, when you are building
muscle, you're probably going towork in a different rep range.
(23:31):
It's going to be slightly higherin repetitions.
And the goal is really moreabout getting the repetitions
in.
Less of the focus is on theweight that you're lifting.
So the mindset and the approachis a little bit different
because when you're strengthtraining, you're going to have
(23:55):
periods of time in your programwhere you're doing very heavy
weight with very lowrepetitions.
Think five sets of fiverepetitions.
If you see that on a workoutprogram, that means that you are
selecting a weight that is soheavy that you can only do five
(24:15):
reps.
That means it's got to be hardbecause you're only going to do
five reps.
And you do five sets of that.
Versus, if you saw a program,it's the same exercise, same
tool, same implement, samemovement pattern.
But maybe it's four sets of 10reps.
(24:41):
That's a lot more volume.
That's a lower load becauseyou're doing 10 repetitions per
set, which means that it doesn'tget really hard until maybe
seven rep eight, rep nine, repten, you feel like you're gonna
die.
And then you rest.
Okay.
(25:02):
Now, can you build muscle andget stronger?
Yes.
Can you get stronger and buildmuscle at the same time?
Yes.
However, they don't happen atthe same trajectory by accident.
And I think that's really mylong-winded point.
(25:25):
So I know that might be a littlebit confusing, but for the
purpose of this conversation, wecan accomplish both, but more
than likely you're going to bebuilding muscle a little bit
more and your strength willincrease, but not at the rate at
which it could if you were,unless you were training more of
like a power lifter.
(25:46):
Okay.
So you could get a program, youcould hire a trainer, you could
work with someone online, youcould work with them in person,
you can get a done-for-youprogram, you can have someone
build one for you.
All of these options are viable.
It's really just about how muchtime and effort you want to put
(26:08):
into learning.
Now, of course, I am puttingtogether a strength program.
By the time this episode airs,it should be live and available
for purchase.
And it has education, it has theworkout program, it has
progressions, it hasdemonstration videos, it's it
has how to explain the movementpatterns, teaches you how to
(26:31):
select the weights, how manyreps, how many sets, all that
good stuff.
But you it's a self-pacedcourse.
It's like a mini course withaudio guide.
So you're you're listening to metalk, you're not watching me.
Even in the demonstrationvideos, I'm not talking.
So there is a lot of autonomythere and a lot of trust.
(26:54):
And if you're somebody who justbuys something but you're not
actually gonna implement it,don't buy the program.
I don't want that for you.
I want you to buy it if you'rereally interested in doing it
and if you're committed to theprocess.
But it is a process.
And if the process is the thingthat's holding you back, that's
(27:16):
never gonna go away.
It's always gonna be a process.
If you want someone to hold yourhand and white glove the whole
experience for you, then youneed an in-person trainer and
you need to work with them atleast two times a week, maybe
three, maybe four.
And I know some people are gonnabe like, What?
That's an investment.
Yeah.
I have a client that works withme in person four times a week.
(27:38):
She's seeing amazing results.
She's committed to the process.
She trusts me implicitly.
And she's getting results.
There's no secret there.
But it's really up to you.
It's really up to you decidingwhat do you want your future to
look like, your immediate futureand the future in the distance.
(28:02):
If you're interested in checkingout the program, it's called
Lift Like You Mean It.
Check the show notes.
There's a link.
Thank you so much for beinghere, for always showing up for
yourself and giving me your timeand attention.
It's not lost on me.
I know how incredibly valuableyour time is.
So I am grateful for you.
(28:24):
I'm grateful to have you sit atmy table and have a cup of
virtual coffee with me while wechat about all things strength
training.
And hopefully, this conversationwill inspire you to take action
so that you can live your bestlife.
I want you to lift like you meanit and become the unbreakable
version of yourself.
(28:45):
Thanks so much.
I'll see you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, Tiana, and thisepisode, episode 70, actually,
we're going to talk about whyplaying it safe is keeping you
(00:49):
stuck.
Listen, I understand.
Maybe you're scared, maybeyou're nervous.
You have talked yourself out ofdoing something before you even
tried it.
You saw someone maybe dosomething, post something, share
something, and it got you reallyexcited in the moment.
(01:11):
And then logic started to kickin, and you started to talk
yourself out of it.
And you started to come up withall of the reasons why maybe
it's not such a great ideaanymore.
Or when you circled back, nowyou're looking at it from a
different lens.
Maybe you made the mistake oftelling somebody, and all of
(01:32):
that excitement is nowcompletely deflated.
Well, on this episode, we'regoing to talk about why caution
feels responsible, but usuallywhen you pull back the curtain,
it's avoidance.
(01:58):
And I'm going to help you breakthe cycle so that we can uncover
what it actually looks like tostart from right where you are.
Now, you may know that thispodcast is a perfect example of
something where I had this greatidea.
I was pumped.
I was excited.
I was all in.
(02:19):
I watched tutorials.
I got the microphone.
I downloaded the software.
I learned how to use it.
I learned how to edit.
I learned about copyrightinfringement and what not to do.
I learned about naming yourpodcast and picking a topic and
coming up with all of theepisodes, recorded 13 episodes,
edited them, saved them in afolder on my desktop, and did
(02:44):
not publish anything for threeyears.
Or maybe you've heard the storyabout how in 2017 an
acquaintance reached out to meand he asked me to compete in a
mixed doubles masters CrossFitcompetition.
So mixed doubles means it's amale-female team.
(03:06):
Uh Masters is 40 plus, and wecompeted in a local CrossFit
competition.
But here's the interesting partwe never worked out together.
We could not even get ourschedules to align to come to
practice before the competitiontogether.
(03:26):
We showed up, we shook hands, wegot our t-shirts or whatever it
was that we were wearing, and wejust went in.
Thankfully, we were able tocommunicate with each other, but
that's a perfect example ofwhere I could have used every,
not even an excuse, every reasonto just say, hey, this isn't
(03:47):
going to work out for me.
I don't feel fully prepared.
Well, I did not feel fullyprepared, but I didn't let it
stop me that time.
Now it's interesting when Ithink back to certain things,
why sometimes I just went aheadand did the thing, even though I
was scared, even though I didn'tknow what I was doing, even
(04:08):
though I didn't know any kind ofcertainty as to what the outcome
was going to be.
But then other times I allow myfears, I allow my self-judgment,
I allow the imagined criticismto take over and to put me in a
chokehold and stop me.
So let's talk about first threeways in which I see caution or
(04:33):
being overly cautious disguisingitself.
How about waiting to knowenough?
Waiting to know enough, waitingto have enough information,
collecting information.
You already know what I'mtalking about.
If it's not you, it's someoneyou know.
(04:54):
They listen to podcasts, theyconsume every piece of content
from their favorite thoughtleader, influencer, coach, guru.
Listen, some of those people areactually qualified, intelligent,
capable, and smart and know whatthey're talking about.
But it's very easy to get pulledinto someone's bubble.
(05:18):
And if they continue to give youconfirmation bias on something
you suspect or believe, and youmight not have the science and
the published journals to backup the data.
It's not proven by anyscientific method.
You're really just trusting thisperson's thoughts and opinions.
(05:40):
And that could be valid for somethings, but it's always going to
leave this gray area of like,well, is that true or is that
just what this person's opinionis?
And is that true or is that justwhat this person's experience
is?
Now, in bodybuilding, we have aterm called anecdotal evidence.
(06:02):
Meaning, yes, I competed inshows for over a decade, and I
learned how my body responded tocertain things.
So I would take notes throughouteach competition prep journey,
and then I would be able toreflect back.
And it was helpful for mebecause I would know what my
(06:22):
body's patterns are, I wouldknow what things it liked, I
would know how it typicallyresponded to certain things.
But here's the thing (06:28):
what works for me may not work for you.
And what I learned over time isthat what works for me or what
worked for me in previous showsmay not work for me now.
So that's anecdotal evidencebecause it worked once, maybe
twice, but that doesn't meanthere's any science behind it.
Now, here's the second way: waiting for the right time. (06:47):
undefined
So, first it was waiting forhaving enough information.
Now it's waiting for the righttime.
And you already know.
Oh, I'm going on a cruise, I'llwait until I come back.
Oh, um I'm gonna be travelingthis week for work, I'll catch
(07:08):
up with you the followingMonday.
I'll start on Monday.
Oh, it's the middle of the week.
I will start my new diet onMonday.
You have said it, you've heardit.
You know that you know thatthat's true.
Come on.
I've done it too.
I'm guilty.
But here's the thing (07:26):
you're waiting for perfect conditions
to start something.
If it's meant to be sustainable,if it's meant to be something
that you're gonna incorporateinto your lifestyle, if it's
meant to challenge you and tofor you to become somebody new,
(07:47):
it does not matter what theconditions are.
It does not matter if you starton a Wednesday, it does not
matter if you start one week andyou have to travel the following
week.
You are working on creatinghabits and then slowly but
surely chipping away to buildthe path and lay it out for the
(08:08):
new thing that you're movingtowards.
Now, for the purpose of thispodcast and conversation, we're
gonna keep it to lifting becausethat's my jam, that's my bread
and butter, that's what I'mpassionate about, and that's
what I personally feel like ifyou're physically capable of,
you should be doing that.
And I don't like to use the wordshould, but in this instance,
I'm speaking with my chestproud.
(08:31):
Lift the weights, but I digress.
So here's the third way thatcaution can disguise itself, and
that's waiting to feelconfident.
I used to coach at a CrossFitgym.
And when I worked at thisCrossFit gym, I also worked at
other gyms as well.
(08:51):
It's very common for most peoplein fitness to have a couple of
different gigs.
We may have one primary gigwhere we do the bulk of our
work, and then we pick up aclass here or an extracurricular
there, or maybe an after-schoolprogram, or we help somebody's
kids with, you know, some drillsfor their sport, maybe some
soccer, basketball, whatever thecase is.
(09:13):
And when I would go to otherplaces and tell folks, like,
yeah, I work at a CrossFit gymtoo, they would say things like,
I'd love to try it, but I got toget in shape first.
Or, well, I'd love to go there,but I'm not ready.
Or I want to lose 15 poundsfirst and then I'll start weight
(09:34):
training.
Why?
Why do you think people lookbetter than you?
Or that you have to fit acertain made-up criteria in
order to start learning how tolift weights and in order to
start building the body that youdesire.
(09:55):
You build your confidencelifting weights by lifting
weights.
You just have to do the thing.
You don't plan and think andcome up with every single step
in your brain and have it laidout perfectly.
You show up, you may have somethings on your checklist that
you're gonna run through beforeyou start your lift, but you
(10:18):
really learn by doing it.
You have to feel it in yourbody.
So, what's actually happeningwhen you wait?
First thing I'm gonna tell youis that being overly cautious
has a cost.
(10:38):
Sometimes we think of waiting asbeing neutral.
Like we're we're not reallylosing anything by not starting.
But time is your most valuablecommodity, and the truth is none
of us know how much of it wehave until our time is up.
So every week that you'rewaiting, you don't get back.
(11:02):
Every month you postpone, youdon't get that back.
Every year that you keep puttingit off, and you say you're gonna
try again next year or nextJanuary, you don't get that time
back.
And the thing is there are womenwho kept waiting and waiting and
waiting until they were in their60s, 70s, maybe even their 80s,
(11:25):
if they're lucky, and they couldhave been working on their
preventative care long beforethat.
But instead they chose otherthings.
And so now they are seniors andthey are frail, they are
fragile.
(11:45):
If they fall, they might nothave the strength to push
themselves up off the floor andget up.
I'm sure you've heard it.
When someone who is seniorfalls, it could be deadly for
them.
That's not an exaggeration.
So another thing that isactually happening when we wait
(12:10):
is that the imperfect actionstarts to compound.
See, progress is not linear,it's built from layers.
And so every workout, even theshitty ones, even the ones that
feel like I only did 20 minutes,I didn't have the right shoes
on, I'm starving and I feelweak, or I ate too much and I'm
(12:34):
too full.
They all compound upon eachother.
So it's not one single workout,but it's the actions, it's the
attempts, it's the doing, it'sthe showing up.
And the person who starts messyand just makes adjustments along
(12:54):
the way and starts to figure outlike what are their weaknesses,
where are their the holes intheir strategy, how can they
make this process better forthem?
Those are the people who are atthe end of the day going to end
up further along, as opposed tothe one who is just waiting for
everything to line up perfectly.
(13:16):
We are living in a differenttime where it's so common, I
hear it often, where peopledon't know what to do with
themselves if they have a fewhours of downtime.
And I'm guilty of this myself.
I fill it with work.
You know, I've got the podcast,I write on Substack, I'm
(13:37):
building a new business out.
I'm gonna be getting businesscoaching.
I work full time, I love what Ido, I have a great partner and
we spend time together.
And so it's like, whoa, whoa,whoa.
My plate is as full as I wouldlike it to be.
And I don't want a crumb moreright now.
(13:59):
The goal will be to do less overtime so that I can make space to
breathe, to think, to plan, tomaybe go on vacation.
And I'd like for you to thinkabout that too.
But if you never start, youdon't allow yourself to make
mistakes, you don't allowyourself to be messy, if you
don't allow yourself to justsay, ah, whatever, this is good
(14:22):
enough for today.
It's not perfect, but it's goodenough.
That's how you figure out howyou can improve, process
improvement, right?
Now, the third way, or the thirdtruth about what's actually
happening when you're waiting isthat you're never gonna feel
(14:45):
ready.
It's not something you wait for,it's not something that's going
to ding dong, ring yourdoorbell, or call you, or send
you a text message.
It's not gonna show up in anAmazon box at your doorstep.
You're never gonna feel fullyready.
You just have to take theplunge.
(15:08):
Do the thing, launch it.
And this applies right to comingto the weight room.
The woman who is ready is notthe one who's done all her
research, it's the one whodecides she'll figure it out, or
she'll hire somebody to help herand commits to the process.
(15:33):
There's no shortcut here.
And I truly believe in thedirection in which the world is
beginning to move withartificial intelligence and with
technology, the more human youcan become the stronger you're
(15:57):
going to be in the future.
Meaning when you build gritthrough doing difficult things,
you will have mental strength toface challenges.
That's truly what this wholepodcast is about.
That's why we're here.
I'm here to share this stuffwith you because I don't want
(16:22):
you to be afraid.
I don't want you to feel scared.
I don't want you to be on thesidelines.
I want you to be able to defendyourself.
I want you to be able to makedecisions.
I want you to be able to thinkquickly.
Now, listening to a podcastversus taking action, they are
two different things.
But when you put them together,well, now you've got a formula.
(16:45):
Because this is the mind, andthen you work the body.
And that's why I came up withthis whole idea in the first
place.
Unbreakable mind and body.
This is where we talk about thestuff, but we also have to go
and do it.
So, how do we get from waitingto moving?
This is the shift.
(17:06):
This is really important.
You have to sit down and thinkabout what it is you're actually
avoiding.
Give it a name.
This requires you to get honestwith yourself.
This requires you to take a goodlook in the mirror and to call
yourself out on your ownbullshit.
(17:26):
What do you keep restarting andwhy?
Let's give it a name.
Now, the second thing you needto do is define what would
starting look like right now.
It's not the perfect time.
Work is busy as fuck, your kidsare busy, everything's busy,
busy, busy, busy.
Yeah, that's not gonna change.
You're just gonna get busier.
(17:47):
So, what would looking, whatwould starting look like now?
What do you have available?
Where can you make time?
Where can you put appointmentsin your calendar?
Now, the next thing I want youto do is think about what is an
ideal day look like in the gym,and then what does a difficult
(18:10):
day look like in the gym?
And I don't mean difficult inthe sense that the workout is
difficult.
What I mean is what would theminimum dose be?
You've heard me talk about likethe minimum viable dose.
In some instances, you may hearpeople talk about the minimum
viable product.
So in this instance, what wouldbe the minimal amount of time or
(18:31):
the minimal commitment you canmake to yourself to feel like
you're at least scratching thesurface, that you're making a
little bit of a dent.
What would that be?
Would it be 20 minutes?
Would it be 30 minutes?
For me, I'm telling you rightnow, and I know I'm on another
level, so don't compareyourself.
30 plus years of experiencedoing this.
(18:54):
For me personally, I need tomove my body five to six times
per week.
Ideally, I love to lift weights.
I love heavy lifting four tofive days a week, maybe one to
two, just depends on where I'mat and what season of cardio.
And that's to keep my hearthealthy.
(19:14):
And I also want a full rest daywhere I'm not even stepping into
the gym, where I'm not evenputting on tight workout
clothes, where I am eating andrelaxing and not in a gym.
And for me, those sessions haveto be about 45 minutes to an
hour and 15.
(19:35):
That's my minimum.
That might not be your minimum,and that's okay.
And then the last thing here, inorder to really shift from
waiting to moving, you have toget accountable.
Now, I said this in the lastepisode, and quite frankly, I
say a lot of the same things inthese episodes because this is
my truth.
These are my values, and this iswhat I know and believe works
(19:58):
for 99% of the women out therewho need to get stronger so that
they can protect themselves, sothat they can protect their
children, so that they are notan easy target when they're out
grocery shopping or when they'reout in the mall.
You do not want to be easy prey.
You want someone to look at youand be like, yeah, I'm gonna
skip over her.
(20:20):
That's what you want.
And I don't mean to get allintense and crazy, but we are
living in a crazy time.
And preparation cannot beunderstated.
So what are we gonna do now?
Well, everything in this episodewas about shifting from you know
(20:44):
the cost of waiting to togetting moving, right?
But what if you don't know whatto do?
So what's the solution there?
And again, I talk about this ona lot of these episodes.
You have options.
You could find a trainer to workwith in person, but don't waste
(21:07):
their time if you're really notinterested or if you don't want
to invest in yourself, don'twaste the trainer's time.
If you just want information,you can use a lot of other
resources than making acomplimentary appointment with a
trainer that thinks you're gonnabuy from them and then you're
just kicking the tires.
Don't do that.
But if you're genuinelyinterested, that's a valuable
(21:29):
conversation.
Another option you have is tobuy a strength program.
Now there's a lot out there andit's confusing, but what you
want to look for is a strengthtraining program, something
that's going to show you how totrain properly to build muscle
and get stronger.
And I have to make thisclarification here getting
(21:52):
stronger and building muscle arenot equivalent.
I'm going to say that again.
And building muscle are not oneand the same.
They are two different things.
It is important we talk aboutthe distinction because getting
stronger does not necessarilyimply that you're going to build
(22:20):
bigger muscles and that you'regoing to lose body fat and that
you're going to look like acomic book character or a
superhero or a movie star justfrom getting stronger.
You can accomplish those things,but not by chance.
(22:43):
Okay?
And I'm gonna just just stickwith me now and I'll I'll bring
it all home.
Building muscle, you would dothe same or similar exercises.
The layout is the same, thefoundation, the movement
patterns, the number of days ofweeks, of how you train, the
(23:07):
number, the number of days inwhich you're going to train per
week.
So a three-day split, four-daysplit, five-day split, whatever.
How you split up your body willbe the same.
But the distinction, which isimportant, when you are building
muscle, you're probably going towork in a different rep range.
(23:31):
It's going to be slightly higherin repetitions.
And the goal is really moreabout getting the repetitions
in.
Less of the focus is on theweight that you're lifting.
So the mindset and the approachis a little bit different
because when you're strengthtraining, you're going to have
(23:55):
periods of time in your programwhere you're doing very heavy
weight with very lowrepetitions.
Think five sets of fiverepetitions.
If you see that on a workoutprogram, that means that you are
selecting a weight that is soheavy that you can only do five
(24:15):
reps.
That means it's got to be hardbecause you're only going to do
five reps.
And you do five sets of that.
Versus, if you saw a program,it's the same exercise, same
tool, same implement, samemovement pattern.
But maybe it's four sets of 10reps.
(24:41):
That's a lot more volume.
That's a lower load becauseyou're doing 10 repetitions per
set, which means that it doesn'tget really hard until maybe
seven rep eight, rep nine, repten, you feel like you're gonna
die.
And then you rest.
Okay.
(25:02):
Now, can you build muscle andget stronger?
Yes.
Can you get stronger and buildmuscle at the same time?
Yes.
However, they don't happen atthe same trajectory by accident.
And I think that's really mylong-winded point.
(25:25):
So I know that might be a littlebit confusing, but for the
purpose of this conversation, wecan accomplish both, but more
than likely you're going to bebuilding muscle a little bit
more and your strength willincrease, but not at the rate at
which it could if you were,unless you were training more of
like a power lifter.
(25:46):
Okay.
So you could get a program, youcould hire a trainer, you could
work with someone online, youcould work with them in person,
you can get a done-for-youprogram, you can have someone
build one for you.
All of these options are viable.
It's really just about how muchtime and effort you want to put
(26:08):
into learning.
Now, of course, I am puttingtogether a strength program.
By the time this episode airs,it should be live and available
for purchase.
And it has education, it has theworkout program, it has
progressions, it hasdemonstration videos, it's it
has how to explain the movementpatterns, teaches you how to
(26:31):
select the weights, how manyreps, how many sets, all that
good stuff.
But you it's a self-pacedcourse.
It's like a mini course withaudio guide.
So you're you're listening to metalk, you're not watching me.
Even in the demonstrationvideos, I'm not talking.
So there is a lot of autonomythere and a lot of trust.
(26:54):
And if you're somebody who justbuys something but you're not
actually gonna implement it,don't buy the program.
I don't want that for you.
I want you to buy it if you'rereally interested in doing it
and if you're committed to theprocess.
But it is a process.
And if the process is the thingthat's holding you back, that's
(27:16):
never gonna go away.
It's always gonna be a process.
If you want someone to hold yourhand and white glove the whole
experience for you, then youneed an in-person trainer and
you need to work with them atleast two times a week, maybe
three, maybe four.
And I know some people are gonnabe like, What?
That's an investment.
Yeah.
I have a client that works withme in person four times a week.
(27:38):
She's seeing amazing results.
She's committed to the process.
She trusts me implicitly.
And she's getting results.
There's no secret there.
But it's really up to you.
It's really up to you decidingwhat do you want your future to
look like, your immediate futureand the future in the distance.
(28:02):
If you're interested in checkingout the program, it's called
Lift Like You Mean It.
Check the show notes.
There's a link.
Thank you so much for beinghere, for always showing up for
yourself and giving me your timeand attention.
It's not lost on me.
I know how incredibly valuableyour time is.
So I am grateful for you.
(28:24):
I'm grateful to have you sit atmy table and have a cup of
virtual coffee with me while wechat about all things strength
training.
And hopefully, this conversationwill inspire you to take action
so that you can live your bestlife.
I want you to lift like you meanit and become the unbreakable
version of yourself.
(28:45):
Thanks so much.
I'll see you on the next one.
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