April 13, 2026 • 26 mins
We unpack self-respect as a daily practice and show how the gym, your routines, and your inner monologue reveal what you truly believe you deserve. I share a college story that changed my standards for relationships and explain how honoring small commitments reshapes your energy, boundaries, and future.
• a bagel shop blowup that exposes disrespect fast
• why self-respect is built in quiet moments
• using the gym to keep promises to yourself
• sleep, food, health checkups, and self-talk as self-care basics
• raising your standards so you stop tolerating time-wasters
• noticing who drains your energy and who restores it
• choosing one concrete act of self-respect this week
Check the show notes for all the good stuff on how to get in touch with me or check out my program, Lift Like You Mean It.
If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves
Website: unbreakablemb.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, Tiana, and thisepisode is all about respect.
When was the last time that youdid something for yourself?
(00:49):
Not because someone told you to,not because you had anything to
prove, but because you genuinelybelieved that you were worth the
effort.
And I want to sit with that fora second.
This episode, we are going todiscuss what self-respect
(01:09):
actually looks like on a dailybasis, why the gym is one of the
absolute best places for you tobuild your self-respect.
I'll share with you a kind offunny but not so funny story
from college that taught me somuch.
And I didn't really fully graspthe gravity of the situation
(01:30):
until I was much older.
And also, we're going to talkabout how respecting yourself
will change the way that youmove through everything in life:
your relationships, your job,your inner workings with
yourself, your inner monologue,how you speak to yourself.
So buckle up because this isgoing to be a good conversation.
(01:55):
Now, before we get into the funstuff and the strategy, let me
take you back to the late 90swhen I was in college.
And in the summer before myjunior year of college, I worked
at a small nightclub inStanford, Connecticut.
(02:15):
And I had so much fun because Iwas dancing on a box.
Now it's not like what you mightbe thinking.
I was fully clothed, and thiswas a place that was 18 to get
in and 21 to party.
And at the time I was 19 yearsold, going on 20.
(02:40):
And I met this guy there and westarted dating each other.
But unfortunately for him, I hadto go back to college at the end
of summer.
So when it was time for my momto help me pack my stuff and
move me into my new apartment,she was kind enough to invite
(03:03):
this young man.
And we took the three-hourdrive.
We had my baby brother in thecar with us.
And we get up to Binghamton,which is where I went to school.
We started moving into my newplace.
I got to reconnect with myroommates.
Two of them I knew previously.
(03:23):
One was a relatively newfriendship and started to get
myself squared away, make acouple of runs to Kmart, get
some storage and cleaningsupplies, get any little
knickknacks.
Now, mind you, I didn't have acar that year.
I got my license and my own carthe following summer.
So at this point, I didn't liveon campus, but I was relying on
(03:46):
public transportation andgetting rides from friends, etc.
So it was really helpful that mymom was able to take me back and
forth and do a couple shuttleruns, et cetera.
Now, when it came time for themto then turn around and head
back to New York, obviously mymom was driving with my baby
(04:07):
brother and this young man inthe car with her.
We stopped at the bagel shopthat I used to work at and we
ordered some turkey and somesandwiches and some drinks and
probably some coffee andwhatnot.
And when we were waiting for thedelhi service person to slice up
(04:30):
the turkey meat and put it in anice little wrapper for us, the
young man that I was dating atthe time started to lose his
patience.
And he started to really go offthe deep end, cursing up a
storm, slamming his hand on thecounter, asking me very loudly
(04:50):
with the intention for this veryyoung, innocent deli counter
person to assist to make sure hewould hear us, saying things
like, What is this guy a fuckingidiot?
What the fuck is taking so long?
You know, just really beingloud, obnoxious, rude, cursing
(05:10):
up a storm.
And here's where it getsinteresting.
My mom, the adult in thesituation, tells him, Listen,
we're not in New York Cityanymore.
Like, please try to be patient.
You know, you'll get your turkeymeat.
It's it's really not thatserious.
Like, we can always go somewhereelse if you want food.
(05:32):
Like, I'm so sorry.
And he tells my mom to mind herbusiness and to not tell him
what to do because he's a grownman.
Well, as you could imagine, Iwas completely mortified,
completely embarrassed.
I used to work at this bagelshop.
So even though I didn't knowthis person, you know, I didn't
(05:54):
want the commotion, I didn'twant the drama or the attention,
I didn't want the owners to endup being upset with me because
they were a nice family.
And I just remember feelingreally uncomfortable because I
was in the middle of this small,minor situation that was turning
into a huge conflict betweenthis guy that I was dating who I
(06:19):
kind of liked, but we weren'treally doing so great.
And I was very much lookingforward to going back to school
because I didn't want to bearound this guy as much as I as
I had to be, which is alsoanother part of this
conversation, but I digress.
So I didn't really process itfully.
I just wanted to keep the peace.
(06:40):
I pulled my mom aside and Iasked her if she was gonna be
okay driving with him in the carfor three hours.
And she was like, Yes, don'tworry.
I can handle it.
I'm not gonna give him any sortof advice or anything because
apparently he has some type ofcomplex.
I'm just trying to give him alittle encouragement and he's
telling me to mind my business.
Well, I'm gonna mind my businessso much that I'm gonna make sure
(07:03):
he never sees you again.
Which she really didn't have theuh ability to prevent or to
control because I was prettyindependent at that time to to
as much as I could be at thatage.
So they dropped me off.
And now remember, this is beforecell phones existed.
(07:24):
And so they leave.
My mom drives him wherever hiscar is, then she gets home.
I had I probably had called heronce or twice by then.
She called me back.
She said, Yeah, it was not themost fun car ride, but we
survived.
Uh, that they started talkingabout bodybuilding and working
(07:46):
out, and you know, they hadsomething to talk about for most
of the car ride home.
The thing is, I didn't have thewords or the courage or the
language back then to say what Ireally wanted to say.
I just remember beinguncomfortable and very confused
(08:06):
because I knew why this personwas getting frustrated.
And I also knew that my mom didnot do anything wrong, nor did
she deserve to be treated likethat.
Now, if you've listened to uh acouple previous episodes, I
share that years later I went toPuerto Rico with a different
(08:28):
person that I was seeing and hisfamily, and I kind of lost my
shit on his mom, and I wascompletely out of line.
But this was years before that.
And this was something totallyunexpected.
In fact, I remember going backto the story in Puerto Rico when
(08:49):
I got home thinking to myself,wow, I treated this person's mom
the same way someone had treatedmy mom a few years back.
And I was so ashamed of myself.
But when someone shows you whothey are in that moment, in that
instant where they're angry orthey're losing their patience,
(09:14):
or they're yelling at someonewho's actually trying to provide
them with a service, even ifit's not that great of a
service, you have to payattention to that because
they're telling you a lot aboutthemselves.
And if you are someone who maybehas a lot of conflict when
(09:35):
you're out in public places, orthere's always a situation, or
there's always some kind ofdrama, maybe a little
self-reflection and thinkingabout what does that mean about
who you are as a person?
What kind of standards do youhave?
What kind of expectations do youlive your life by?
And here's the saying (09:56):
this person lost their patience
because they wanted their orderfaster and it was just taking a
long time, but it wasn't poorlyexecuted, and it wasn't an
unreasonable amount of time.
He was just being impatient.
So, how does this connect torespect and even more so
(10:20):
self-respect?
Well, it it connects in a hugeway because self-respect is not
how you act in just one dramaticmoment.
It's something that's built uponthrough hundreds, if not
thousands, of these quietermoments, these day-to-day
experiences, these instanceswhere you have an opportunity to
(10:45):
take care of your body, to takecare of your health, and to take
care of your heart, soul, andmind.
And how you show up in the worldand how you present yourself
says a lot about how muchrespect you have for yourself
and others.
So things like showing up whenyou say you're going to, even if
(11:06):
it's a really tough day, even ifyou're very tired, even if you
had the energy when you made theplans, but now on the day that
you're getting together withyour friends, you really don't
feel like it, but you show upanyway because you said you
would.
Or how about going to the gym,showing up there, following
through on the workout in frontof you, hitting every intended
(11:30):
set and repetition becausethat's the formula and it's
important that you finish whatyou start.
Now, no one, maybe no one's inthe gym with you, but you know
if you completed everything tothe best of your ability.
And that's keeping a promise toyourself, right?
The other thing is everyrepetition is a little bit like
(11:54):
you know, giving yourself apound or a fist bump.
You're telling yourself that youmatter in this situation and
that your goals are important toyou.
They don't have to be importantto anybody else, and no one has
to understand them or agree withyou.
But when it comes to taking careof your health, nine times out
of ten, most people are gonna besupportive.
(12:14):
They're gonna be like, fuckyeah, I want you to live a long
life.
I want you to be healthy, I wantyou to feel great in your skin.
And then outside of the gym,things like how you sleep, what
kind of foods are you eating?
What is your inner monologue?
(12:35):
How do you talk to yourself?
Are you beating yourself up?
Are you talking badly toyourself after you eat something
because maybe you think it was alittle too rich, too sweet, too
salty, too fatty, too decadent,and now you're gonna punish
yourself?
Or maybe not.
(12:57):
And what about choosing thedifficult things in life?
The things that are really hard,the things that maybe you want
to procrastinate on, but you'renot going to.
I know for me, getting to bedearly is something I must
proactively do.
It's never going to happen bychance.
I'm never tired at night.
(13:19):
But I have to force myself to goto bed early.
Why?
Because I get up at 5, 5:30every day, even on the weekends.
I think last weekend I sleptuntil 7 a.m.
And that is very unusual.
So when you're thinking aboutyour nutrition, the water, the
(13:41):
vitamins, the minerals, the foodyou eat, then how you care for
yourself.
Are you going to your routinedoctor visits?
Are you getting blood work doneto look at your markers and see
where you have any nutrientdeficiencies or vitamin
deficiencies?
Are you making thoseappointments that you keep
putting off or that you keepadding to that long-running list
(14:04):
in your phone or on thewhiteboard at your desk?
See, self-care is really aboutshowing up for yourself.
And the thing is, when you takecare of yourself, you also show
other people how you expect tobe treated too.
(14:25):
Because if you hold yourself toa high standard and you refuse
to settle, people will noticethat.
People will see it, people willknow, oh no.
You know, I've had friends tellme, you stand on business.
When you say you are gonna dosomething, you always do it.
Or when you say you're not gonnado something, you don't fuck
(14:47):
with it.
And that's a hundred percenttrue.
Don't get me wrong, I am notperfect.
There are things that I say I'mgonna do and I procrastinate and
procrastinate and procrastinate,but eventually I will do them.
And here's the thing (14:59):
just recently I put an offer out into
the world, and it's somethingthat I've had as an idea, and
it's been it was in theinception mode, and then it went
through so many iterationsbefore I actually narrowed down
what it was I wanted to put outthere.
(15:19):
And then I made a commitment tomyself around Christmas time.
I said, this thing is going outinto the world by mid-March.
It has to be available forpurchase by the end of Q1 in
2026.
And I worked diligently.
When I would get home fromtraining my clients in person, I
would hop on my computer and Iwould be working away for hours
(15:40):
and hours and hours.
Now, I didn't necessarily dothis the most efficient way
because I was also learning newsystems as I was creating the
offer, because I wanted tocreate something that I was
proud of.
I wanted to create somethingthat would be very user-friendly
and that the initial experiencewhen somebody buys the product,
(16:01):
it would be a seamlesstransition.
They click a few buttons, theyget everything they ordered, and
it's in their phone, ready togo.
All of the downloads, thepodcast, the videos, and
everything in between, all ofthe lessons.
But I have so much respect formyself now.
Why?
Because I did the fucking thing.
(16:22):
I did the thing I said I wasgonna do.
I got that product out tomarket, it's available for
purchase, and it's out there.
It was about a week and a halflate, but I still got it done in
Q1.
And I have to say, as much as Iam not a procrastinator in
certain things, when it comes tofinishing an idea and getting it
(16:47):
out into the world, I havestarted more projects than I
have finished.
So this was a huge marker forme, a huge milestone.
Now, let's get back to youbecause let's talk about this
ripple effect about how the wayyou treat yourself teaches
(17:09):
people and your life how totreat you.
When you respect your own time,you stop tolerating people who
waste your time.
When you respect your ownenergy, you get better at
recognizing who are the peoplethat fill your cup and who are
the ones that drain you.
(17:29):
And I gotta say, years ago, Ihad a few personal training
clients, and every time I had totrain them, I couldn't stop
yawning.
I don't know what it was.
I would always be really tired,lethargic, exhausted.
And if I had to work out aftertraining any of those clients,
(17:53):
it would be incredibly difficultbecause all I would want to do
is curl up and go to sleep.
And when I realized after myschedule changed, and then one
moved away, and then one changedgyms, and then one had a new
work schedule.
And so I wasn't seeing thesehandful of clients anymore.
(18:14):
My energy seemed to be more evenand sustained.
And I wasn't getting thisexhaustion at a random hour of
the day, and then feeling thiswave of energy at the end of
that hour when those clientswere leaving me.
And maybe to some people thissounds mean, but this was just a
genuine observation that some ofthe clients I used to have many
(18:39):
years ago sucked the life out ofme.
And you know what?
I feel for those people, andthey needed me.
And I hope that the work that wedid together served them well
and taught them something, andmaybe with a little bit of time,
effort, and energy, they will beable to lift themselves up too.
(19:05):
But now going back to respectingyourself, when you respect your
body, when you train it, whenyou eat well, when you rest, you
carry yourself differently, andpeople will notice the ones who
don't respect that, they startto stand out.
(19:27):
And you're gonna know, you'regonna feel that energy shift
when they're in your presence.
And now thinking back to thebagel shop, if I had the
knowledge and experience backthen that I do now, that guy
would have been on a bus goinghome and I would not have
(19:50):
allowed my mom to drive himbecause he was so rude to
various people, including my momand me.
And that's just unacceptable.
Never again.
In fact, on a total side note, Iremember going home for the
(20:11):
weekend about three weeks aftermy mom dropped me off after that
incident, and this guy wanted totake me out on a date, and we
went to see a movie and walkaround the movie theater was
inside of a shopping mall.
And so we were walking aroundthe mall afterwards, and I broke
up with him.
And I remember we were likewalking along in front of all
(20:35):
these different stores, and themall is super packed, and he's
basically like begging me,please don't do this.
I don't understand, like tryingto convince me.
And I just kept saying to him,you were disrespectful.
You were disrespectful to me,you were disrespectful to my
mom.
Like, I just can't, I just can'tbe with somebody that's gonna
act that way.
And I'm gonna always have toworry about how you're gonna get
(20:58):
triggered and react to to peoplethat aren't moving fast enough
for you.
And then how you're gonna talkto my parents, like absolutely
not.
And he didn't get it, but Istuck to my guns.
It took me a few weeks, but Istuck to my guns.
But if that situation hadoccurred now, oh hell no.
(21:20):
I would have been out so fast.
I would have told that guy, youknow what?
Here, go to the bus station.
You can take a bus home anddon't ever call me.
Hell no, absolutely not.
Like, who raised you?
But back to the self-respect andliving your life right now in
(21:41):
the present day and not 30 yearsago or however many years ago at
the bagel shop in upstate NewYork.
I want you to honestly take alook at an area of your life
where you've been maybe lettingself respect slide.
Where are you maybe a little toolenient?
Are you skipping workouts?
Are you letting someonedisrespect you?
(22:04):
Are you maybe talking toyourself in a not so kind way?
And I want to encourage you thisupcoming week, pick one thing
that is absolutely a pure act ofself-respect, something
different.
Maybe you're setting a boundary.
Maybe you're going to start mealprepping because you want to eat
(22:25):
higher quality foods and morenutrient-dense foods.
Maybe you want to go to bed alittle bit earlier so that you
can feel more refreshed eachday.
I want you to realize that youare worth all of that effort.
And I want you to really stopand think about where are those
(22:47):
areas where you could make thesecute, small little changes that
are going to have a huge lastingimpact.
I want you to really take thattime, do it.
And let me know how you feel atthe end of the week.
You can get in touch with me byreaching out.
(23:08):
There's a way to do that.
Check the show notes.
And also, by the way, if you'reinterested in the project that I
was just talking about that Icommitted to launching at the
end by the end of Q1 2026, whichI did, it's a program called
Live Like You Mean It.
And it's awesome because it'sliterally my training values and
(23:34):
fundamentals all packaged upinto one beautiful program.
It's not a piecemeal sort ofthing where there's like one day
you do this, one day do that.
It's a whole cohesive programthat's bundled all together.
It will make sense when youlisten to the audio lessons and
then you look at the plans andyou pick the one that fits your
(23:55):
lifestyle and you commit and youcommit for a long time.
And just like committing tosomething for the long time for
a long time, commit to yourselfthat you are going to treat
yourself with respect and thatyou are not going to allow
others to disrespect you.
And that you're going to committo that.
(24:16):
So if you're interested in theprogram, check the show notes.
The link is there.
And you can see all the detailsabout it.
And I want you to realize thatthis work that you're doing on
yourself is the most importantwork you're ever going to do.
Because when you respectyourself and when you take care
(24:37):
of yourself, you are literallychanging the trajectory of your
future because that new versionof yourself is not going to
tolerate or put up with some ofthe nonsense that younger you
used to tolerate.
And oh, by the way, if you areinto the law of attraction or
(24:58):
any quantum physics, we areliving in an age of multiple
timelines.
So when we talk about future youand the past you, like it all
exists simultaneously.
And I know this may be a littlewoo for some of you, but hear me
out.
You are exactly where you aremeant to be.
(25:21):
And yes, every choice, everydecision, every turn, every
option, every road that you havetaken has led you right here,
right now.
And I want you to know thatyou're right on time.
You are not behind.
You are not missing out.
The one thing that you canabsolutely do to make sure you
(25:44):
live your best life full out isto take care of yourself, to be
very uh protective of yourenergy, and to make sure that at
the end of each night, you canlook back on your day and know
that you did the best you couldwith what you have and what's
(26:06):
meant for you is never gonnamiss.
I appreciate you being here andshowing up for yourself each and
every week.
This episode, I know it was alittle woo-woo and a little out
there, but it's reallyimportant, and you are really
important.
So thank you so much for beinghere, for tuning into the show.
(26:29):
Check the show notes for all thegood stuff on how to get in
touch with me or check out theprogram, or you could follow me
on Substack where I dive deeperinto all of these subjects that
we talk about here on the show.
I am here for you.
This is my life's work.
I'm proud of you, and I willcatch you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, Tiana, and thisepisode is all about respect.
When was the last time that youdid something for yourself?
(00:49):
Not because someone told you to,not because you had anything to
prove, but because you genuinelybelieved that you were worth the
effort.
And I want to sit with that fora second.
This episode, we are going todiscuss what self-respect
(01:09):
actually looks like on a dailybasis, why the gym is one of the
absolute best places for you tobuild your self-respect.
I'll share with you a kind offunny but not so funny story
from college that taught me somuch.
And I didn't really fully graspthe gravity of the situation
(01:30):
until I was much older.
And also, we're going to talkabout how respecting yourself
will change the way that youmove through everything in life:
your relationships, your job,your inner workings with
yourself, your inner monologue,how you speak to yourself.
So buckle up because this isgoing to be a good conversation.
(01:55):
Now, before we get into the funstuff and the strategy, let me
take you back to the late 90swhen I was in college.
And in the summer before myjunior year of college, I worked
at a small nightclub inStanford, Connecticut.
(02:15):
And I had so much fun because Iwas dancing on a box.
Now it's not like what you mightbe thinking.
I was fully clothed, and thiswas a place that was 18 to get
in and 21 to party.
And at the time I was 19 yearsold, going on 20.
(02:40):
And I met this guy there and westarted dating each other.
But unfortunately for him, I hadto go back to college at the end
of summer.
So when it was time for my momto help me pack my stuff and
move me into my new apartment,she was kind enough to invite
(03:03):
this young man.
And we took the three-hourdrive.
We had my baby brother in thecar with us.
And we get up to Binghamton,which is where I went to school.
We started moving into my newplace.
I got to reconnect with myroommates.
Two of them I knew previously.
(03:23):
One was a relatively newfriendship and started to get
myself squared away, make acouple of runs to Kmart, get
some storage and cleaningsupplies, get any little
knickknacks.
Now, mind you, I didn't have acar that year.
I got my license and my own carthe following summer.
So at this point, I didn't liveon campus, but I was relying on
(03:46):
public transportation andgetting rides from friends, etc.
So it was really helpful that mymom was able to take me back and
forth and do a couple shuttleruns, et cetera.
Now, when it came time for themto then turn around and head
back to New York, obviously mymom was driving with my baby
(04:07):
brother and this young man inthe car with her.
We stopped at the bagel shopthat I used to work at and we
ordered some turkey and somesandwiches and some drinks and
probably some coffee andwhatnot.
And when we were waiting for thedelhi service person to slice up
(04:30):
the turkey meat and put it in anice little wrapper for us, the
young man that I was dating atthe time started to lose his
patience.
And he started to really go offthe deep end, cursing up a
storm, slamming his hand on thecounter, asking me very loudly
(04:50):
with the intention for this veryyoung, innocent deli counter
person to assist to make sure hewould hear us, saying things
like, What is this guy a fuckingidiot?
What the fuck is taking so long?
You know, just really beingloud, obnoxious, rude, cursing
(05:10):
up a storm.
And here's where it getsinteresting.
My mom, the adult in thesituation, tells him, Listen,
we're not in New York Cityanymore.
Like, please try to be patient.
You know, you'll get your turkeymeat.
It's it's really not thatserious.
Like, we can always go somewhereelse if you want food.
(05:32):
Like, I'm so sorry.
And he tells my mom to mind herbusiness and to not tell him
what to do because he's a grownman.
Well, as you could imagine, Iwas completely mortified,
completely embarrassed.
I used to work at this bagelshop.
So even though I didn't knowthis person, you know, I didn't
(05:54):
want the commotion, I didn'twant the drama or the attention,
I didn't want the owners to endup being upset with me because
they were a nice family.
And I just remember feelingreally uncomfortable because I
was in the middle of this small,minor situation that was turning
into a huge conflict betweenthis guy that I was dating who I
(06:19):
kind of liked, but we weren'treally doing so great.
And I was very much lookingforward to going back to school
because I didn't want to bearound this guy as much as I as
I had to be, which is alsoanother part of this
conversation, but I digress.
So I didn't really process itfully.
I just wanted to keep the peace.
(06:40):
I pulled my mom aside and Iasked her if she was gonna be
okay driving with him in the carfor three hours.
And she was like, Yes, don'tworry.
I can handle it.
I'm not gonna give him any sortof advice or anything because
apparently he has some type ofcomplex.
I'm just trying to give him alittle encouragement and he's
telling me to mind my business.
Well, I'm gonna mind my businessso much that I'm gonna make sure
(07:03):
he never sees you again.
Which she really didn't have theuh ability to prevent or to
control because I was prettyindependent at that time to to
as much as I could be at thatage.
So they dropped me off.
And now remember, this is beforecell phones existed.
(07:24):
And so they leave.
My mom drives him wherever hiscar is, then she gets home.
I had I probably had called heronce or twice by then.
She called me back.
She said, Yeah, it was not themost fun car ride, but we
survived.
Uh, that they started talkingabout bodybuilding and working
(07:46):
out, and you know, they hadsomething to talk about for most
of the car ride home.
The thing is, I didn't have thewords or the courage or the
language back then to say what Ireally wanted to say.
I just remember beinguncomfortable and very confused
(08:06):
because I knew why this personwas getting frustrated.
And I also knew that my mom didnot do anything wrong, nor did
she deserve to be treated likethat.
Now, if you've listened to uh acouple previous episodes, I
share that years later I went toPuerto Rico with a different
(08:28):
person that I was seeing and hisfamily, and I kind of lost my
shit on his mom, and I wascompletely out of line.
But this was years before that.
And this was something totallyunexpected.
In fact, I remember going backto the story in Puerto Rico when
(08:49):
I got home thinking to myself,wow, I treated this person's mom
the same way someone had treatedmy mom a few years back.
And I was so ashamed of myself.
But when someone shows you whothey are in that moment, in that
instant where they're angry orthey're losing their patience,
(09:14):
or they're yelling at someonewho's actually trying to provide
them with a service, even ifit's not that great of a
service, you have to payattention to that because
they're telling you a lot aboutthemselves.
And if you are someone who maybehas a lot of conflict when
(09:35):
you're out in public places, orthere's always a situation, or
there's always some kind ofdrama, maybe a little
self-reflection and thinkingabout what does that mean about
who you are as a person?
What kind of standards do youhave?
What kind of expectations do youlive your life by?
And here's the saying (09:56):
this person lost their patience
because they wanted their orderfaster and it was just taking a
long time, but it wasn't poorlyexecuted, and it wasn't an
unreasonable amount of time.
He was just being impatient.
So, how does this connect torespect and even more so
(10:20):
self-respect?
Well, it it connects in a hugeway because self-respect is not
how you act in just one dramaticmoment.
It's something that's built uponthrough hundreds, if not
thousands, of these quietermoments, these day-to-day
experiences, these instanceswhere you have an opportunity to
(10:45):
take care of your body, to takecare of your health, and to take
care of your heart, soul, andmind.
And how you show up in the worldand how you present yourself
says a lot about how muchrespect you have for yourself
and others.
So things like showing up whenyou say you're going to, even if
(11:06):
it's a really tough day, even ifyou're very tired, even if you
had the energy when you made theplans, but now on the day that
you're getting together withyour friends, you really don't
feel like it, but you show upanyway because you said you
would.
Or how about going to the gym,showing up there, following
through on the workout in frontof you, hitting every intended
(11:30):
set and repetition becausethat's the formula and it's
important that you finish whatyou start.
Now, no one, maybe no one's inthe gym with you, but you know
if you completed everything tothe best of your ability.
And that's keeping a promise toyourself, right?
The other thing is everyrepetition is a little bit like
(11:54):
you know, giving yourself apound or a fist bump.
You're telling yourself that youmatter in this situation and
that your goals are important toyou.
They don't have to be importantto anybody else, and no one has
to understand them or agree withyou.
But when it comes to taking careof your health, nine times out
of ten, most people are gonna besupportive.
(12:14):
They're gonna be like, fuckyeah, I want you to live a long
life.
I want you to be healthy, I wantyou to feel great in your skin.
And then outside of the gym,things like how you sleep, what
kind of foods are you eating?
What is your inner monologue?
(12:35):
How do you talk to yourself?
Are you beating yourself up?
Are you talking badly toyourself after you eat something
because maybe you think it was alittle too rich, too sweet, too
salty, too fatty, too decadent,and now you're gonna punish
yourself?
Or maybe not.
(12:57):
And what about choosing thedifficult things in life?
The things that are really hard,the things that maybe you want
to procrastinate on, but you'renot going to.
I know for me, getting to bedearly is something I must
proactively do.
It's never going to happen bychance.
I'm never tired at night.
(13:19):
But I have to force myself to goto bed early.
Why?
Because I get up at 5, 5:30every day, even on the weekends.
I think last weekend I sleptuntil 7 a.m.
And that is very unusual.
So when you're thinking aboutyour nutrition, the water, the
(13:41):
vitamins, the minerals, the foodyou eat, then how you care for
yourself.
Are you going to your routinedoctor visits?
Are you getting blood work doneto look at your markers and see
where you have any nutrientdeficiencies or vitamin
deficiencies?
Are you making thoseappointments that you keep
putting off or that you keepadding to that long-running list
(14:04):
in your phone or on thewhiteboard at your desk?
See, self-care is really aboutshowing up for yourself.
And the thing is, when you takecare of yourself, you also show
other people how you expect tobe treated too.
(14:25):
Because if you hold yourself toa high standard and you refuse
to settle, people will noticethat.
People will see it, people willknow, oh no.
You know, I've had friends tellme, you stand on business.
When you say you are gonna dosomething, you always do it.
Or when you say you're not gonnado something, you don't fuck
(14:47):
with it.
And that's a hundred percenttrue.
Don't get me wrong, I am notperfect.
There are things that I say I'mgonna do and I procrastinate and
procrastinate and procrastinate,but eventually I will do them.
And here's the thing (14:59):
just recently I put an offer out into
the world, and it's somethingthat I've had as an idea, and
it's been it was in theinception mode, and then it went
through so many iterationsbefore I actually narrowed down
what it was I wanted to put outthere.
(15:19):
And then I made a commitment tomyself around Christmas time.
I said, this thing is going outinto the world by mid-March.
It has to be available forpurchase by the end of Q1 in
2026.
And I worked diligently.
When I would get home fromtraining my clients in person, I
would hop on my computer and Iwould be working away for hours
(15:40):
and hours and hours.
Now, I didn't necessarily dothis the most efficient way
because I was also learning newsystems as I was creating the
offer, because I wanted tocreate something that I was
proud of.
I wanted to create somethingthat would be very user-friendly
and that the initial experiencewhen somebody buys the product,
(16:01):
it would be a seamlesstransition.
They click a few buttons, theyget everything they ordered, and
it's in their phone, ready togo.
All of the downloads, thepodcast, the videos, and
everything in between, all ofthe lessons.
But I have so much respect formyself now.
Why?
Because I did the fucking thing.
(16:22):
I did the thing I said I wasgonna do.
I got that product out tomarket, it's available for
purchase, and it's out there.
It was about a week and a halflate, but I still got it done in
Q1.
And I have to say, as much as Iam not a procrastinator in
certain things, when it comes tofinishing an idea and getting it
(16:47):
out into the world, I havestarted more projects than I
have finished.
So this was a huge marker forme, a huge milestone.
Now, let's get back to youbecause let's talk about this
ripple effect about how the wayyou treat yourself teaches
(17:09):
people and your life how totreat you.
When you respect your own time,you stop tolerating people who
waste your time.
When you respect your ownenergy, you get better at
recognizing who are the peoplethat fill your cup and who are
the ones that drain you.
(17:29):
And I gotta say, years ago, Ihad a few personal training
clients, and every time I had totrain them, I couldn't stop
yawning.
I don't know what it was.
I would always be really tired,lethargic, exhausted.
And if I had to work out aftertraining any of those clients,
(17:53):
it would be incredibly difficultbecause all I would want to do
is curl up and go to sleep.
And when I realized after myschedule changed, and then one
moved away, and then one changedgyms, and then one had a new
work schedule.
And so I wasn't seeing thesehandful of clients anymore.
(18:14):
My energy seemed to be more evenand sustained.
And I wasn't getting thisexhaustion at a random hour of
the day, and then feeling thiswave of energy at the end of
that hour when those clientswere leaving me.
And maybe to some people thissounds mean, but this was just a
genuine observation that some ofthe clients I used to have many
(18:39):
years ago sucked the life out ofme.
And you know what?
I feel for those people, andthey needed me.
And I hope that the work that wedid together served them well
and taught them something, andmaybe with a little bit of time,
effort, and energy, they will beable to lift themselves up too.
(19:05):
But now going back to respectingyourself, when you respect your
body, when you train it, whenyou eat well, when you rest, you
carry yourself differently, andpeople will notice the ones who
don't respect that, they startto stand out.
(19:27):
And you're gonna know, you'regonna feel that energy shift
when they're in your presence.
And now thinking back to thebagel shop, if I had the
knowledge and experience backthen that I do now, that guy
would have been on a bus goinghome and I would not have
(19:50):
allowed my mom to drive himbecause he was so rude to
various people, including my momand me.
And that's just unacceptable.
Never again.
In fact, on a total side note, Iremember going home for the
(20:11):
weekend about three weeks aftermy mom dropped me off after that
incident, and this guy wanted totake me out on a date, and we
went to see a movie and walkaround the movie theater was
inside of a shopping mall.
And so we were walking aroundthe mall afterwards, and I broke
up with him.
And I remember we were likewalking along in front of all
(20:35):
these different stores, and themall is super packed, and he's
basically like begging me,please don't do this.
I don't understand, like tryingto convince me.
And I just kept saying to him,you were disrespectful.
You were disrespectful to me,you were disrespectful to my
mom.
Like, I just can't, I just can'tbe with somebody that's gonna
act that way.
And I'm gonna always have toworry about how you're gonna get
(20:58):
triggered and react to to peoplethat aren't moving fast enough
for you.
And then how you're gonna talkto my parents, like absolutely
not.
And he didn't get it, but Istuck to my guns.
It took me a few weeks, but Istuck to my guns.
But if that situation hadoccurred now, oh hell no.
(21:20):
I would have been out so fast.
I would have told that guy, youknow what?
Here, go to the bus station.
You can take a bus home anddon't ever call me.
Hell no, absolutely not.
Like, who raised you?
But back to the self-respect andliving your life right now in
(21:41):
the present day and not 30 yearsago or however many years ago at
the bagel shop in upstate NewYork.
I want you to honestly take alook at an area of your life
where you've been maybe lettingself respect slide.
Where are you maybe a little toolenient?
Are you skipping workouts?
Are you letting someonedisrespect you?
(22:04):
Are you maybe talking toyourself in a not so kind way?
And I want to encourage you thisupcoming week, pick one thing
that is absolutely a pure act ofself-respect, something
different.
Maybe you're setting a boundary.
Maybe you're going to start mealprepping because you want to eat
(22:25):
higher quality foods and morenutrient-dense foods.
Maybe you want to go to bed alittle bit earlier so that you
can feel more refreshed eachday.
I want you to realize that youare worth all of that effort.
And I want you to really stopand think about where are those
(22:47):
areas where you could make thesecute, small little changes that
are going to have a huge lastingimpact.
I want you to really take thattime, do it.
And let me know how you feel atthe end of the week.
You can get in touch with me byreaching out.
(23:08):
There's a way to do that.
Check the show notes.
And also, by the way, if you'reinterested in the project that I
was just talking about that Icommitted to launching at the
end by the end of Q1 2026, whichI did, it's a program called
Live Like You Mean It.
And it's awesome because it'sliterally my training values and
(23:34):
fundamentals all packaged upinto one beautiful program.
It's not a piecemeal sort ofthing where there's like one day
you do this, one day do that.
It's a whole cohesive programthat's bundled all together.
It will make sense when youlisten to the audio lessons and
then you look at the plans andyou pick the one that fits your
(23:55):
lifestyle and you commit and youcommit for a long time.
And just like committing tosomething for the long time for
a long time, commit to yourselfthat you are going to treat
yourself with respect and thatyou are not going to allow
others to disrespect you.
And that you're going to committo that.
(24:16):
So if you're interested in theprogram, check the show notes.
The link is there.
And you can see all the detailsabout it.
And I want you to realize thatthis work that you're doing on
yourself is the most importantwork you're ever going to do.
Because when you respectyourself and when you take care
(24:37):
of yourself, you are literallychanging the trajectory of your
future because that new versionof yourself is not going to
tolerate or put up with some ofthe nonsense that younger you
used to tolerate.
And oh, by the way, if you areinto the law of attraction or
(24:58):
any quantum physics, we areliving in an age of multiple
timelines.
So when we talk about future youand the past you, like it all
exists simultaneously.
And I know this may be a littlewoo for some of you, but hear me
out.
You are exactly where you aremeant to be.
(25:21):
And yes, every choice, everydecision, every turn, every
option, every road that you havetaken has led you right here,
right now.
And I want you to know thatyou're right on time.
You are not behind.
You are not missing out.
The one thing that you canabsolutely do to make sure you
(25:44):
live your best life full out isto take care of yourself, to be
very uh protective of yourenergy, and to make sure that at
the end of each night, you canlook back on your day and know
that you did the best you couldwith what you have and what's
(26:06):
meant for you is never gonnamiss.
I appreciate you being here andshowing up for yourself each and
every week.
This episode, I know it was alittle woo-woo and a little out
there, but it's reallyimportant, and you are really
important.
So thank you so much for beinghere, for tuning into the show.
(26:29):
Check the show notes for all thegood stuff on how to get in
touch with me or check out theprogram, or you could follow me
on Substack where I dive deeperinto all of these subjects that
we talk about here on the show.
I am here for you.
This is my life's work.
I'm proud of you, and I willcatch you on the next one.
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