May 11, 2026 • 22 mins
The decision that protects you can be the same decision that makes you feel sick to your stomach. If you have ever set a boundary and then spiraled with guilt, doubt, or the fear of being “too much,” this conversation is for you.
I’m pulling back the curtain on what burnout really looked like in my fitness coaching career & I share what finally clicked for me.
You’ll hear the bigger arc too, from leaving corporate America, going all in on personal training, burning out under an online coaching grind, stepping away into construction, and then coming back to the gym with a different lens.
If you’re ready to protect your peace, trust your gut, and build a healthier work-life balance without losing your heart, listen now.
If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves
Website: unbreakablemb.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, Tiana.
On this episode, we're going totalk about how making the right
decision for yourself can stillfeel really bad and what to do
(00:50):
about it.
Now, I work as a fitness coach.
I do in-person one-on-onetraining, and I have started a
brand for this podcast, and I'mworking on some things behind
the scenes.
But I want to tell you thebasis, the foundation, the root
of everything that I do is inthe interest of helping others.
(01:13):
And that is exactly what got mein trouble in the past.
Because the truth is, I want tohelp everyone.
If I see a person in need andthere is some way that I can
make their life easier, that Ican make their life a little bit
better, that I could potentiallyshow them a new route, a new
path, a new way to do somethingthat could get them to the end
(01:36):
game or get them to that resultjust a little bit faster or with
a little less pain, I'm gonna doit.
But that's that's what's cost mea lot in the past.
That's what made me feel burntout when I had my fitness
business back in the day.
I left working in corporateAmerica after working my way all
(02:00):
the way up the corporate ladder,making six figures, having a lot
of autonomy, but having to beavailable 24-7, 365, including
holidays, weekends, and in themiddle of the night for
emergencies.
And I walked away from all ofthat to pursue this passion that
I had to help women to get outof their own way, to make better
(02:23):
choices for themselves, to notmake the same mistakes that I
made by doing extreme diets andmultiple competitions or
rigorous routines that wound upgiving me a host of health
issues.
But I digress.
Because even though that was mypassion and that was the thing I
was I feel, I still feel notfelt, I still feel I'm put on
(02:44):
this earth to do, at some pointwhen you're feeling like this is
burning me out, I'm exhausted,I'm fatigued, you have to ask
yourself is it the industry thatyou're in?
Is it the business model thatyou're working with?
Is it your clients?
(03:06):
Or maybe is it you?
And that's not alwayscomfortable for us to sit with,
for us to face, right?
But it's an important place tostart thinking and to start
taking notes and to really getdown into the deep and dirty,
sometimes messy and painful workthat we need to do in order to
(03:29):
make ourselves better and tomove forward.
Now, I made the the shift intoworking in fitness full time in
2013, but there was a period ofa few years where I was working
in corporate America and doingfitness on the side, doing
fitness on the weekends.
I got my personal trainingcertification.
(03:52):
I took some courses, I learnedabout Facebook marketing, and I
was all in by April of 2013.
I was all in on fitness.
And unfortunately for me, eventhough I had the best of
intentions, I was my own worstenemy because I did not know how
(04:16):
to advocate for myself.
So when people would text me atall random hours, I felt
obligated to answer them rightaway.
When I was doing discoverycalls, or if it was somebody in
person and we were talking aboutpricing, I would feel guilty and
(04:37):
feel like I had to offer adiscount.
I had a hard time with salesbecause I felt uncomfortable
discussing my pricing.
And I always wanted to makeadjustments or compromises or
give discounts or, you know,tweak the terms and conditions
(04:57):
that I had already established.
And when I was alone and workingon my business, these things
felt amazing and great.
But then when I wasclient-facing, I didn't feel
really comfortable just yet.
And I felt like, you know, Iowed it to other people.
And in some instances, I reallybent over backwards.
(05:18):
Now I learned pretty quicklythat the only person that could
make these changes was me.
But I didn't know how to dothat, and I didn't know how to
do it in a way that I wouldstill maintain integrity and
respect, but not jeopardize myreputation.
Now, there are people in thisworld that sometimes we took we
(05:40):
call them tire kickers.
They, you know, want to takeeverything for a test drive,
they want to pick your brain,they want to ask a million
questions, they have so manyconcerns, worries, and issues,
and you know, they're not reallysure.
And so they run you through thegamut, they make you feel like
you have to jump through hoopsin order to get their business.
(06:03):
And the reality is, those arethe exact people that are going
to be the worst clients, they'rethe most difficult.
And once you do this for awhile, you realize that if it
was that much trouble to getthem to sign up, they didn't see
the value, and they're going tobe a difficult client to manage.
And nobody wants to deal withthat.
(06:25):
But again, when we're talkingabout taking personal
responsibility, is it theclient's fault or is it yours,
or is it a combination of both?
I would say it's a combinationof both.
So it took me some time.
I was definitely answering textmessages at hours I didn't want
(06:46):
to.
I would jump through hoops totry to reschedule people at the
11th hour.
I would feel guilty at times ifI had to charge somebody for a
late cancel.
It took me a very long time torealize that respect is more
important than being liked.
And I didn't understand how whenit came down to, let's say, uh a
(07:12):
dentist appointment or takingyour car in for service or
meeting with your accountant foryour taxes, you wouldn't cancel
those appointments at the lastminute and expect not to pay a
penalty.
But with your personal trainer,somebody who is actually in
whose intentions are to help youlive a longer, healthier life,
(07:32):
you could just drop them likeno, like it doesn't matter.
And that really bothered me.
It I always took it personally,even when I knew I shouldn't, I
did.
And I found myself frustratedrepeatedly for weeks and then
months and then years.
And here's the thing I couldidentify pretty quickly if
(07:54):
somebody was going to be achallenge or if they were going
to allow me to coach them andthat they would be coachable and
be willing to at least change alittle bit in order to get what
they really want.
So even knowing this upfront, Iwould still sometimes take on
(08:15):
people because I needed money, Ineeded to pay my bills, I needed
to grow as a trainer and getmore hands-on experience.
We call that clinical time.
You know, there are a lot ofcoaches, sidebar, there are a
lot of coaches in the onlinespace who have actually never
trained anyone in person.
And I have a bit of a problemwith that.
I didn't for a long time, butnow I do.
(08:37):
And you know what?
I am allowed to change my mindonce in a while because there's
so much value in trainingsomeone in person, really
understanding the dynamic, howto navigate challenges.
Sometimes people come into asession, they had a really rough
day.
Sometimes they come in, they hadan emotional day, or they're
going through a hard time intheir personal life, something
(09:00):
at work, something with theirfamily, something with their
kids.
You just never know.
And you have to be able to readthe room.
And that is probably one of themost valuable skills you can
have as a coach and as atrainer, because you could have
the best workout planned, but ifthey're not in the right
headspace, or if the gym iscrowded, or if equipment is
(09:20):
being used that you need tothink quick on your feet and
make substitutions for, if youdon't have that skill set,
you're gonna be thrown for aloop.
You're gonna be standing there,twiddling your thumbs, trying to
think quick and look unprepared.
And that could be bad for you inthe long run.
That could be very costly.
But going back to knowing thatmaybe my feeling of frustration
(09:45):
and burnout with Fit by Tiana,which is my old business, and
what to do about it, I just knewI needed change.
It had gotten to a point where Iwas working at a CrossFit gym.
I was working a lot actually.
At that CrossFit gym, I think Icoached 15 classes a week.
And then I had my a fewone-on-one in-person clients,
(10:08):
and then I had a ton of onlinecoaching clients, and I just
felt so isolated all the time.
I felt like I spent 99% of mytime alone, and I wasn't being
fulfilled in a way that servedme.
So I was doing the work that Iloved to do, but there was just
something about it that wasmaking me really unhappy.
(10:30):
And I felt like not only wasgetting leads and doing
discovery calls and then turninga lead into a client
challenging, but then alsokeeping clients.
So in online coaching, it's verycommon that people jump from
coach to coach to coach tocoach, and it would infuriate me
(10:52):
because it some of those typesof people do not give anything
enough of a lifespan to reallysee what's working and what
sticks.
And if they're always jumpingship and moving on to the next
thing, what does that say abouttheir ability to trust
themselves?
I think it says a lot.
(11:12):
So I found myself in this placewhere I was like, okay, I'm
really burnt out.
I don't know what to do next.
I feel like I'm out here on thisisland all by myself.
I'm working from home when I'mnot at the CrossFit Gym, and I'm
tired of this.
I need to be around people.
So I thought the best solutionfor me at the time, and oh, by
the way, I was like very on avery, very, very tight budget.
(11:36):
So what starts to happen when Ifind myself feeling that way,
it's hard for me to be creative.
But if you're in the onlinespace, you need to be creative
because you have to createcontent in order to keep a
presence on social media.
Even if you do paid advertising,you're putting payments behind
your content.
(11:57):
So you're draw drawing leads ordriving leads, I'm sorry, to
your funnel in order to get theminto your system somehow so that
you can eventually talk to them,get them on a call, see if
they're a good fit, see ifthey're interested in working
with you, and then move forwardfrom there.
And it was this vicious cyclethat I just could not seem to
crack.
(12:18):
So I went back to construction.
And for a year and a half, Ithought, okay, I'm done with
fitness.
I'm over it.
I'm burnt out.
It's not for me.
I don't want to do it anymore.
I'm tired of coaching peoplethat don't want help.
I'm tired of coaching peoplethat think they know what they
want, but they actually don't.
I'm tired of people wasting mytime.
And while all of that is true,guess what?
(12:40):
By the fall of 2024, I hadrealized, wait a minute, I
actually do miss trainingpeople.
Because what I had run away fromwas not training people.
It was all the other stuff thatcame along with it, all of the
other stuff that I wasn't ableto change, all of the other
(13:02):
stuff that I knew had to change,but I felt really guilty about
it.
So when I revisited fitness, Iwas a different person.
I had grown, I had changed, andI had a new lens that I was
looking at everything through,especially after being treated
like crap in not one, not two,but three different construction
(13:25):
companies in a span of about 15,16 months.
That's a lot of experience.
That's a lot of, oh, yeah, nope,confirmation, this isn't for me.
And guess what?
Even when I was working inconstruction and I was working
in person and I had to drive outto either the airport for the
first company, or I had to goout to these mansions in
(13:47):
Connecticut, or I had to go tostores, or I had to go to the
office, I was still kind oflonely.
Want to know why?
Because it's not like the peopleI was working with were very
friendly or striking upconversation or helping me grow
or respecting or asking for myinput.
So in all three instances, noneof them were a good fit.
(14:11):
So I took some time off and thenrealized, you know what, I
really miss coaching.
I miss seeing people in person.
And I went back to somethingthat has been one of the best
moves I've ever made.
But what's different now is theway that I do things.
And I had to let go of that mythof like, oh, this is gonna be a
(14:35):
clean change.
No, you're gonna be presentedwith the same problems, the same
challenges, the same types ofpeople, and you're going to be
tested to see how much growthyou've actually made.
And it is only when you actuallyexecute and do the thing that
doesn't feel so great, but youstick with it and you hold out
(14:58):
and you give yourself time tojust see if there's any fallout
from it and if you're gonna beokay, then you know, okay, yeah,
that that was the move.
So now I'm working in a spacethat I've been in before.
It's the same gym I worked atseven years ago, but I'm
different.
The way I do things isdifferent.
I say no to everything else thatis not perfect for me.
(15:22):
And I say hell yes to theopportunities that are perfect
for me.
I know exactly what my zone ofgenius is.
And while I will listen and hearother possibilities, other
ideas, I know what works bestfor me.
I know what I'm interested indoing.
I also know how I can bestfacilitate transformation.
(15:43):
So, what do I mean by all this?
Well, at this gym, there'sone-on-one training, there's
partner training, there's smallgroup training, there's small
group classes, there's largeformat classes, there's, I think
there's a run club.
There's also there used to be, Idon't know if there still is a
cycle group that meets on theweekends.
(16:03):
And all of those things arephenomenal and amazing.
But I know that workingone-on-one is my jam.
That's my bread and butter.
That's where all of my energyand effort is going.
That's where I can help peoplereally come to a place where
they can make change.
And guess what?
If you've been paying attention,you will realize that everything
(16:26):
I just talked about and what Ihad to go through to change how
the business worked for me, thatis literally a comparison and a
parallel to what I'm expectingand hoping and praying that my
clients will be able to do forthemselves with their health,
fitness, and wellness.
So, you see, in order for me tofacilitate better change, I had
(16:47):
to start with myself first andthen implement those things and
then show people.
You model the behavior, you showpeople.
It's not just about talkingabout it.
You can talk about it all day,but if you actually can live it,
embody it, demonstrate it,that's a huge differentiator.
Now, I've said it on manyepisodes in the past where I
(17:09):
know that I can trust my gut.
That also comes with time, age,and experience.
One of the greatest gifts youget from growing older is
wisdom.
That is a gift.
Because if you can learn fromyour mistakes, if you can learn
from the past, if you can learnfrom failures, you can make
yourself a better version of youfor the future.
(17:30):
And that's never a bad thing,right?
So it's also interesting whenyou know what you need to do,
but it's not quite comfortablejust yet.
It's not second nature yet.
And there's this gap or there'sthis space because you're not
who you were anymore, but you'realso not truly who you're
(17:54):
becoming just yet.
So we call that the liminalspace.
It's this in between.
And it's kind of like being inlimbo.
Most people don't like to be inlimbo.
But if you can learn how totrust yourself enough, learn how
to find peace within yourself,even in the midst of uncertainty
(18:16):
and chaos.
You'll be all right.
You will be okay.
You will find your way.
So, yeah, sometimes it's hardwhen someone shoots me a text
message at a crazy hour of theevening and I don't see it until
the next morning.
And guess what?
I don't see it until the nextmorning because my phone goes on
(18:38):
do not disturb at a very earlyhour.
I give myself some space, somepeace, some quiet to do what I
need to do before it's time tostart my bedtime routine.
I've also mentioned itpreviously on this show that I'm
terrible about falling asleep.
So I have to start my bedtimeroutine super early so that I
can begin to unwind.
(18:59):
I dim the lights, I wash thedishes, I do the shower, makeup,
take off the makeup, brush theteeth, I do my bedtime
supplements, I'll grab a book.
Sometimes I'll watch ameditation on YouTube, but that
is dangerous because then I canlead me down a rabbit hole of
doom scrolling, which I try toavoid.
(19:20):
I've actually deleted severalapps off my phone.
I've logged out of variousthings so that I can't log back
in because I have to protect mypeace.
And if someone texts me at the11th hour, unfortunately, I
stick to the protocol because Ihave to protect my business and
(19:40):
I have to protect, you know,what I'm trying to do here.
And even though I love myclients, I love helping them,
they also have to recognize thatthis is a business.
And bills don't get paid onsentiments and well wishes, they
get paid through incomegeneration.
(20:03):
So when you realize that this isa business, it changes things
and you don't take advantage ofyour service providers.
So I said a whole heck of a lot,talked a lot about how I changed
the way I do things in business,and really what it boils down to
is defining what yournon-negotiables are, making sure
(20:27):
that you're okay with that,finding the language and the way
to embody that and then enforceit.
And here's one more thing (20:34):
if you establish a boundary, but
then you're always oversteppingit or you are crossing it or you
are making exceptions all thetime, and they they don't really
feel like exceptions anymore.
They just feel like the rule,that is your fault, and that is
your problem, and that issomething that you must contend
(20:56):
with.
And I encourage you to take alook at yourself and to figure
out what your problem is becauseyou deserve to have a great
life.
A friend of mine recently, youknow, he got a conference call
late at night and we weresupposed to have dinner, and
he's on the phone, and the callis just going on and on and on
and on and on.
(21:16):
It was a surprise video call,and he took it after hours, and
he did not say anything like,Hey, I have to go now.
All right, guys, we'll catch upon this tomorrow.
It was not an emergency, by theway.
And I have to say, I was prettypissed because if you let people
walk all over you, they will.
(21:39):
But if you firmly and kindlysay, Hey, this isn't gonna work
right now, I can't do this,we'll catch up later, we'll
catch up tomorrow, and you givethem a date or a time or uh when
to be continued, you commandrespect.
And commanding respect and beinghonest is the kindest thing.
(22:00):
That you can do for yourself andfor others.
So I hope you enjoyed thisepisode.
And if you want to stay in touchwith me, please give me a follow
on Instagram.
There's a way to do that.
Check the show notes.
You'll see you can find all ofthe ways to stay in touch with
me.
I have my Instagram handle, myemail newsletter, and also a
link to my new strength trainingprogram called Lift Like You
(22:21):
Mean It.
I appreciate you being here.
I appreciate your time andattention as always, week after
week, having a conversation withme.
And I'll catch you on the nextone.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back to the show.
I am your host, Tiana.
On this episode, we're going totalk about how making the right
decision for yourself can stillfeel really bad and what to do
(00:50):
about it.
Now, I work as a fitness coach.
I do in-person one-on-onetraining, and I have started a
brand for this podcast, and I'mworking on some things behind
the scenes.
But I want to tell you thebasis, the foundation, the root
of everything that I do is inthe interest of helping others.
(01:13):
And that is exactly what got mein trouble in the past.
Because the truth is, I want tohelp everyone.
If I see a person in need andthere is some way that I can
make their life easier, that Ican make their life a little bit
better, that I could potentiallyshow them a new route, a new
path, a new way to do somethingthat could get them to the end
(01:36):
game or get them to that resultjust a little bit faster or with
a little less pain, I'm gonna doit.
But that's that's what's cost mea lot in the past.
That's what made me feel burntout when I had my fitness
business back in the day.
I left working in corporateAmerica after working my way all
(02:00):
the way up the corporate ladder,making six figures, having a lot
of autonomy, but having to beavailable 24-7, 365, including
holidays, weekends, and in themiddle of the night for
emergencies.
And I walked away from all ofthat to pursue this passion that
I had to help women to get outof their own way, to make better
(02:23):
choices for themselves, to notmake the same mistakes that I
made by doing extreme diets andmultiple competitions or
rigorous routines that wound upgiving me a host of health
issues.
But I digress.
Because even though that was mypassion and that was the thing I
was I feel, I still feel notfelt, I still feel I'm put on
(02:44):
this earth to do, at some pointwhen you're feeling like this is
burning me out, I'm exhausted,I'm fatigued, you have to ask
yourself is it the industry thatyou're in?
Is it the business model thatyou're working with?
Is it your clients?
(03:06):
Or maybe is it you?
And that's not alwayscomfortable for us to sit with,
for us to face, right?
But it's an important place tostart thinking and to start
taking notes and to really getdown into the deep and dirty,
sometimes messy and painful workthat we need to do in order to
(03:29):
make ourselves better and tomove forward.
Now, I made the the shift intoworking in fitness full time in
2013, but there was a period ofa few years where I was working
in corporate America and doingfitness on the side, doing
fitness on the weekends.
I got my personal trainingcertification.
(03:52):
I took some courses, I learnedabout Facebook marketing, and I
was all in by April of 2013.
I was all in on fitness.
And unfortunately for me, eventhough I had the best of
intentions, I was my own worstenemy because I did not know how
(04:16):
to advocate for myself.
So when people would text me atall random hours, I felt
obligated to answer them rightaway.
When I was doing discoverycalls, or if it was somebody in
person and we were talking aboutpricing, I would feel guilty and
(04:37):
feel like I had to offer adiscount.
I had a hard time with salesbecause I felt uncomfortable
discussing my pricing.
And I always wanted to makeadjustments or compromises or
give discounts or, you know,tweak the terms and conditions
(04:57):
that I had already established.
And when I was alone and workingon my business, these things
felt amazing and great.
But then when I wasclient-facing, I didn't feel
really comfortable just yet.
And I felt like, you know, Iowed it to other people.
And in some instances, I reallybent over backwards.
(05:18):
Now I learned pretty quicklythat the only person that could
make these changes was me.
But I didn't know how to dothat, and I didn't know how to
do it in a way that I wouldstill maintain integrity and
respect, but not jeopardize myreputation.
Now, there are people in thisworld that sometimes we took we
(05:40):
call them tire kickers.
They, you know, want to takeeverything for a test drive,
they want to pick your brain,they want to ask a million
questions, they have so manyconcerns, worries, and issues,
and you know, they're not reallysure.
And so they run you through thegamut, they make you feel like
you have to jump through hoopsin order to get their business.
(06:03):
And the reality is, those arethe exact people that are going
to be the worst clients, they'rethe most difficult.
And once you do this for awhile, you realize that if it
was that much trouble to getthem to sign up, they didn't see
the value, and they're going tobe a difficult client to manage.
And nobody wants to deal withthat.
(06:25):
But again, when we're talkingabout taking personal
responsibility, is it theclient's fault or is it yours,
or is it a combination of both?
I would say it's a combinationof both.
So it took me some time.
I was definitely answering textmessages at hours I didn't want
(06:46):
to.
I would jump through hoops totry to reschedule people at the
11th hour.
I would feel guilty at times ifI had to charge somebody for a
late cancel.
It took me a very long time torealize that respect is more
important than being liked.
And I didn't understand how whenit came down to, let's say, uh a
(07:12):
dentist appointment or takingyour car in for service or
meeting with your accountant foryour taxes, you wouldn't cancel
those appointments at the lastminute and expect not to pay a
penalty.
But with your personal trainer,somebody who is actually in
whose intentions are to help youlive a longer, healthier life,
(07:32):
you could just drop them likeno, like it doesn't matter.
And that really bothered me.
It I always took it personally,even when I knew I shouldn't, I
did.
And I found myself frustratedrepeatedly for weeks and then
months and then years.
And here's the thing I couldidentify pretty quickly if
(07:54):
somebody was going to be achallenge or if they were going
to allow me to coach them andthat they would be coachable and
be willing to at least change alittle bit in order to get what
they really want.
So even knowing this upfront, Iwould still sometimes take on
(08:15):
people because I needed money, Ineeded to pay my bills, I needed
to grow as a trainer and getmore hands-on experience.
We call that clinical time.
You know, there are a lot ofcoaches, sidebar, there are a
lot of coaches in the onlinespace who have actually never
trained anyone in person.
And I have a bit of a problemwith that.
I didn't for a long time, butnow I do.
(08:37):
And you know what?
I am allowed to change my mindonce in a while because there's
so much value in trainingsomeone in person, really
understanding the dynamic, howto navigate challenges.
Sometimes people come into asession, they had a really rough
day.
Sometimes they come in, they hadan emotional day, or they're
going through a hard time intheir personal life, something
(09:00):
at work, something with theirfamily, something with their
kids.
You just never know.
And you have to be able to readthe room.
And that is probably one of themost valuable skills you can
have as a coach and as atrainer, because you could have
the best workout planned, but ifthey're not in the right
headspace, or if the gym iscrowded, or if equipment is
(09:20):
being used that you need tothink quick on your feet and
make substitutions for, if youdon't have that skill set,
you're gonna be thrown for aloop.
You're gonna be standing there,twiddling your thumbs, trying to
think quick and look unprepared.
And that could be bad for you inthe long run.
That could be very costly.
But going back to knowing thatmaybe my feeling of frustration
(09:45):
and burnout with Fit by Tiana,which is my old business, and
what to do about it, I just knewI needed change.
It had gotten to a point where Iwas working at a CrossFit gym.
I was working a lot actually.
At that CrossFit gym, I think Icoached 15 classes a week.
And then I had my a fewone-on-one in-person clients,
(10:08):
and then I had a ton of onlinecoaching clients, and I just
felt so isolated all the time.
I felt like I spent 99% of mytime alone, and I wasn't being
fulfilled in a way that servedme.
So I was doing the work that Iloved to do, but there was just
something about it that wasmaking me really unhappy.
(10:30):
And I felt like not only wasgetting leads and doing
discovery calls and then turninga lead into a client
challenging, but then alsokeeping clients.
So in online coaching, it's verycommon that people jump from
coach to coach to coach tocoach, and it would infuriate me
(10:52):
because it some of those typesof people do not give anything
enough of a lifespan to reallysee what's working and what
sticks.
And if they're always jumpingship and moving on to the next
thing, what does that say abouttheir ability to trust
themselves?
I think it says a lot.
(11:12):
So I found myself in this placewhere I was like, okay, I'm
really burnt out.
I don't know what to do next.
I feel like I'm out here on thisisland all by myself.
I'm working from home when I'mnot at the CrossFit Gym, and I'm
tired of this.
I need to be around people.
So I thought the best solutionfor me at the time, and oh, by
the way, I was like very on avery, very, very tight budget.
(11:36):
So what starts to happen when Ifind myself feeling that way,
it's hard for me to be creative.
But if you're in the onlinespace, you need to be creative
because you have to createcontent in order to keep a
presence on social media.
Even if you do paid advertising,you're putting payments behind
your content.
(11:57):
So you're draw drawing leads ordriving leads, I'm sorry, to
your funnel in order to get theminto your system somehow so that
you can eventually talk to them,get them on a call, see if
they're a good fit, see ifthey're interested in working
with you, and then move forwardfrom there.
And it was this vicious cyclethat I just could not seem to
crack.
(12:18):
So I went back to construction.
And for a year and a half, Ithought, okay, I'm done with
fitness.
I'm over it.
I'm burnt out.
It's not for me.
I don't want to do it anymore.
I'm tired of coaching peoplethat don't want help.
I'm tired of coaching peoplethat think they know what they
want, but they actually don't.
I'm tired of people wasting mytime.
And while all of that is true,guess what?
(12:40):
By the fall of 2024, I hadrealized, wait a minute, I
actually do miss trainingpeople.
Because what I had run away fromwas not training people.
It was all the other stuff thatcame along with it, all of the
other stuff that I wasn't ableto change, all of the other
(13:02):
stuff that I knew had to change,but I felt really guilty about
it.
So when I revisited fitness, Iwas a different person.
I had grown, I had changed, andI had a new lens that I was
looking at everything through,especially after being treated
like crap in not one, not two,but three different construction
(13:25):
companies in a span of about 15,16 months.
That's a lot of experience.
That's a lot of, oh, yeah, nope,confirmation, this isn't for me.
And guess what?
Even when I was working inconstruction and I was working
in person and I had to drive outto either the airport for the
first company, or I had to goout to these mansions in
(13:47):
Connecticut, or I had to go tostores, or I had to go to the
office, I was still kind oflonely.
Want to know why?
Because it's not like the peopleI was working with were very
friendly or striking upconversation or helping me grow
or respecting or asking for myinput.
So in all three instances, noneof them were a good fit.
(14:11):
So I took some time off and thenrealized, you know what, I
really miss coaching.
I miss seeing people in person.
And I went back to somethingthat has been one of the best
moves I've ever made.
But what's different now is theway that I do things.
And I had to let go of that mythof like, oh, this is gonna be a
(14:35):
clean change.
No, you're gonna be presentedwith the same problems, the same
challenges, the same types ofpeople, and you're going to be
tested to see how much growthyou've actually made.
And it is only when you actuallyexecute and do the thing that
doesn't feel so great, but youstick with it and you hold out
(14:58):
and you give yourself time tojust see if there's any fallout
from it and if you're gonna beokay, then you know, okay, yeah,
that that was the move.
So now I'm working in a spacethat I've been in before.
It's the same gym I worked atseven years ago, but I'm
different.
The way I do things isdifferent.
I say no to everything else thatis not perfect for me.
(15:22):
And I say hell yes to theopportunities that are perfect
for me.
I know exactly what my zone ofgenius is.
And while I will listen and hearother possibilities, other
ideas, I know what works bestfor me.
I know what I'm interested indoing.
I also know how I can bestfacilitate transformation.
(15:43):
So, what do I mean by all this?
Well, at this gym, there'sone-on-one training, there's
partner training, there's smallgroup training, there's small
group classes, there's largeformat classes, there's, I think
there's a run club.
There's also there used to be, Idon't know if there still is a
cycle group that meets on theweekends.
(16:03):
And all of those things arephenomenal and amazing.
But I know that workingone-on-one is my jam.
That's my bread and butter.
That's where all of my energyand effort is going.
That's where I can help peoplereally come to a place where
they can make change.
And guess what?
If you've been paying attention,you will realize that everything
(16:26):
I just talked about and what Ihad to go through to change how
the business worked for me, thatis literally a comparison and a
parallel to what I'm expectingand hoping and praying that my
clients will be able to do forthemselves with their health,
fitness, and wellness.
So, you see, in order for me tofacilitate better change, I had
(16:47):
to start with myself first andthen implement those things and
then show people.
You model the behavior, you showpeople.
It's not just about talkingabout it.
You can talk about it all day,but if you actually can live it,
embody it, demonstrate it,that's a huge differentiator.
Now, I've said it on manyepisodes in the past where I
(17:09):
know that I can trust my gut.
That also comes with time, age,and experience.
One of the greatest gifts youget from growing older is
wisdom.
That is a gift.
Because if you can learn fromyour mistakes, if you can learn
from the past, if you can learnfrom failures, you can make
yourself a better version of youfor the future.
(17:30):
And that's never a bad thing,right?
So it's also interesting whenyou know what you need to do,
but it's not quite comfortablejust yet.
It's not second nature yet.
And there's this gap or there'sthis space because you're not
who you were anymore, but you'realso not truly who you're
(17:54):
becoming just yet.
So we call that the liminalspace.
It's this in between.
And it's kind of like being inlimbo.
Most people don't like to be inlimbo.
But if you can learn how totrust yourself enough, learn how
to find peace within yourself,even in the midst of uncertainty
(18:16):
and chaos.
You'll be all right.
You will be okay.
You will find your way.
So, yeah, sometimes it's hardwhen someone shoots me a text
message at a crazy hour of theevening and I don't see it until
the next morning.
And guess what?
I don't see it until the nextmorning because my phone goes on
(18:38):
do not disturb at a very earlyhour.
I give myself some space, somepeace, some quiet to do what I
need to do before it's time tostart my bedtime routine.
I've also mentioned itpreviously on this show that I'm
terrible about falling asleep.
So I have to start my bedtimeroutine super early so that I
can begin to unwind.
(18:59):
I dim the lights, I wash thedishes, I do the shower, makeup,
take off the makeup, brush theteeth, I do my bedtime
supplements, I'll grab a book.
Sometimes I'll watch ameditation on YouTube, but that
is dangerous because then I canlead me down a rabbit hole of
doom scrolling, which I try toavoid.
(19:20):
I've actually deleted severalapps off my phone.
I've logged out of variousthings so that I can't log back
in because I have to protect mypeace.
And if someone texts me at the11th hour, unfortunately, I
stick to the protocol because Ihave to protect my business and
(19:40):
I have to protect, you know,what I'm trying to do here.
And even though I love myclients, I love helping them,
they also have to recognize thatthis is a business.
And bills don't get paid onsentiments and well wishes, they
get paid through incomegeneration.
(20:03):
So when you realize that this isa business, it changes things
and you don't take advantage ofyour service providers.
So I said a whole heck of a lot,talked a lot about how I changed
the way I do things in business,and really what it boils down to
is defining what yournon-negotiables are, making sure
(20:27):
that you're okay with that,finding the language and the way
to embody that and then enforceit.
And here's one more thing (20:34):
if you establish a boundary, but
then you're always oversteppingit or you are crossing it or you
are making exceptions all thetime, and they they don't really
feel like exceptions anymore.
They just feel like the rule,that is your fault, and that is
your problem, and that issomething that you must contend
(20:56):
with.
And I encourage you to take alook at yourself and to figure
out what your problem is becauseyou deserve to have a great
life.
A friend of mine recently, youknow, he got a conference call
late at night and we weresupposed to have dinner, and
he's on the phone, and the callis just going on and on and on
and on and on.
(21:16):
It was a surprise video call,and he took it after hours, and
he did not say anything like,Hey, I have to go now.
All right, guys, we'll catch upon this tomorrow.
It was not an emergency, by theway.
And I have to say, I was prettypissed because if you let people
walk all over you, they will.
(21:39):
But if you firmly and kindlysay, Hey, this isn't gonna work
right now, I can't do this,we'll catch up later, we'll
catch up tomorrow, and you givethem a date or a time or uh when
to be continued, you commandrespect.
And commanding respect and beinghonest is the kindest thing.
(22:00):
That you can do for yourself andfor others.
So I hope you enjoyed thisepisode.
And if you want to stay in touchwith me, please give me a follow
on Instagram.
There's a way to do that.
Check the show notes.
You'll see you can find all ofthe ways to stay in touch with
me.
I have my Instagram handle, myemail newsletter, and also a
link to my new strength trainingprogram called Lift Like You
(22:21):
Mean It.
I appreciate you being here.
I appreciate your time andattention as always, week after
week, having a conversation withme.
And I'll catch you on the nextone.
Popular Podcasts
Hey Jonas!
Hey Jonas! The official Jonas Brothers podcast. Hosted by Kevin, Joe, and Nick Jonas. It’s the Jonas Brothers you know... musicians, actors, and well, yes, brothers. Now, they’re sharing another side of themselves in the playful, intimate, and irreverent way only they can. Spend time with the Jonas Brothers here and stay a little bit longer for deep conversations like never before.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
Betrayal Weekly
Betrayal Weekly is back for a new season. Every Thursday, Betrayal Weekly shares first-hand accounts of broken trust, shocking deceptions, and the trail of destruction they leave behind. Hosted by Andrea Gunning, this weekly ongoing series digs into real-life stories of betrayal and the aftermath. From stories of double lives to dark discoveries, these are cautionary tales and accounts of resilience against all odds. From the producers of the critically acclaimed Betrayal series, Betrayal Weekly drops new episodes every Thursday. If you would like to share your story, you can reach out to the Betrayal Team by emailing them at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod and @glasspodcasts. Please join our Substack for additional exclusive content, curated book recommendations, and community discussions. Sign up FREE by clicking this link Beyond Betrayal Substack. Join our community dedicated to truth, resilience, and healing. Your voice matters! Be a part of our Betrayal journey on Substack.