May 18, 2026 • 22 mins
This episode covers a lot and it's a true peek into my brain and what goes on there!
I move through a real-life contrast: a nasty Instagram comment about my past and a thoughtful compliment from a listener just hours later. I use that swing to unpack duality, emotional neutrality, and how we can protect our energy while still staying honest with ourselves.
• posting online means inviting criticism and deciding what deserves a response
• choosing neutrality without deleting your feelings or gaslighting yourself
• how assumptions and shame keep people silent about abusive relationships
• pursuing a dream with full focus and accepting what it costs
• getting a hobby for pure joy in a monetized culture
• learning creative skills slowly and wrestling with when art is finished
• living in the liminal space and doing small things that match your future self
If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves
Website: unbreakablemb.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back.
I am your host, Tiana, and thisepisode is going to be a
mishmash of a whole bunch ofthings because I have really
given myself a lot of time to becreative.
(00:49):
And so therefore the juices areflowing, and I have so many
things I want to talk about withyou today.
By the end of this episode, youwill walk away with some
interesting ideas about how Isee life progressing and the
duality in which we live in.
And I'm also going to make somerecommendations for you because
(01:09):
there's something reallyimportant that I feel a lot of
us forget about as we mature andage and become adults and then
move on into like our lateryears in life.
Now, I certainly don't considermyself a senior.
(01:39):
Even though if you had asked meat that time, I would say, yeah,
I'm I'm being true to myself.
I know for a fact I wasn't.
So the first thing I want totalk about is how I woke up
yesterday morning and there wasa trolling comment on a reel
that I posted on Instagram.
Now, here's the thing (01:55):
when you post content on anything and you
put it out onto the internet,you are subjecting yourself to
criticism.
And it is part of the reason whyso many of us don't do it.
And it is part of the reason whyso many of us wear masks.
We choose to use filters.
(02:17):
We might even filter ourthoughts, ideas, and our
intellectual property.
Because one, it could be superunique, two, maybe you don't
want someone to steal it.
And three, maybe there's alittle bit of uh, you know,
something being sacred to youthat you just want it for
(02:38):
yourself and you don'tnecessarily want to share it
with the world, and that'sabsolutely okay.
But this video that I posted wasbasically saying it was a B-roll
video with music, with words onthe screen that basically said,
You can't hurt me.
When I was escaping an abusiverelationship, I had to take on
(02:58):
three jobs to pay back debt thatI inherited.
And the person who left acomment basically alluded to the
fact that, oh, since I wasemotionally abusing my partner
and he decided to leave, that Ididn't have a honeypot to
(03:20):
extract from and I had toactually work to pay my own
bills.
And I just could not stoplaughing.
I just could not stop laughingbecause that couldn't be any
further from the truth.
Now, first let me say years ago,I would have been really
(03:41):
defensive.
I might have tried to engagewith this person, or I would
have sent them a message, or Iwould have deleted the comment.
I did none of the above.
They will be not not be gettinga reaction from me.
They don't deserve it.
Because the reality is, first ofall, it could be a fake profile,
in which case, whoever that is,they really need to get a life.
(04:04):
But also, I kind of feel bad forthis person because it's like,
is your life really that badthat this is how you're choosing
to spend your time by leaving areally rude comment on a
stranger's video?
Okay, I feel bad for you.
Like, wow, your life must reallybe horrible.
(04:26):
And here's the thing within afew hours, on the same morning,
I went to the gym, I saw afriend, and one, I found out
he's a loyal listener to theshow.
And two, he gave me a reallynice compliment about how he's
enjoying the podcast.
He likes the topics I talkabout, and he said I have a
(04:48):
great voice.
So it's like this stark contrastand the swing with the emotions,
you know, that pendulum.
Because earlier that day, I hadgotten this horrible comment
about something that I put outinto the world.
And then a few hours later, Igot a great compliment about the
(05:08):
things I'm putting out into theworld.
And so the moral of the story isthat both things can be true,
and you don't have to leteverything affect you.
You can choose to be neutral, oryou can choose to take anything
as constructive criticism orfeedback, or you could just
accept the compliment.
(05:30):
And it's really up to you todecide how you want to receive
those things.
Now, when it comes to two thingsbeing true, what I mean by that
is maybe we will experiencedifferent emotions.
And so I wasn't really affectedby the negative comment, but it
(05:54):
did make me stop and think aboutthis.
Is exactly why I don't sharesome of my stories with the
world, or this is exactly why Idon't talk about when I was in
an abusive relationship becauseI feel shame about it.
Here's the thing (06:10):
it's comments like that where someone's making
assumptions that causes peopleto stay silent.
And and oh, by the way, thereare a lot of men that are in
abusive relationships.
It's not only about women orwomen saying that they're in a
(06:30):
bad situation and that they'retrying to get out of it.
There are a lot of instances inwhere a man is in a relationship
and he's the one who's and who'sthe victim, you know, where he's
the one being treated poorly.
And it's horrible.
It's absolutely horrible.
So I think it's worth showing alittle kindness and being
(06:54):
patient.
You never really know whatsomeone's going through behind
closed doors.
And then I also think ifsomebody's doing something great
and it's helping you, let themknow.
So those two experiences I hadwithin, I don't know, a couple
hours.
And it was just, it was sointeresting.
It made me stop and think.
It made me really question, youknow, how am I presenting myself
(07:18):
into the world?
And is there something that Iwant to improve upon?
And that's that's just literallywhere I'm at with things.
But this this was such aninteresting experience for me to
sit with.
Now, the second thing I want totalk to you about, and I told
you this episode is going to beall over the map.
The second thing I wanted totalk about is how I mentioned to
(07:41):
someone earlier today, theyasked me if I had kids, and I
said, No, I don't have any kids.
And uh, it was two gentlementhat are members at the gym.
One is uh a retired bodybuilder,and the other is his friend.
And we're just talking about ourkids, showing where they were
showing me pictures of theirkids on their phone, and you
know, really nice people.
(08:02):
And when I said, Oh no, I don'thave any kids, and the one
friend said, you know, oh, whynot?
And I said, Well, I was pursuingmy bodybuilding career, you
know, that was my dream, and Iwas all in.
And the other gentleman who isalso a bodybuilder, he goes,
Yeah, I I've I knew you werereally serious about it back in
the day.
I had heard you, you know, wentall out and like really gave
(08:26):
your heart and soul to it, andyou were pursuing the pro card
and you wanted to have a careerin it.
And I said, Yeah, absolutely.
And for me, where I was mentallyat that time, that was the most
important thing to me.
It was my hobby, which turnedinto my passion, which turned
into my dream.
And I had laser beam focus onit.
(08:48):
Now, it cost me, and that'sokay.
But I want you to know, like,don't feel badly if you don't
want what your, you know,people, your friends, your
family, what your even what yoursignificant other, like, if you
don't want the same things asthem, don't feel badly about
(09:11):
that.
Maybe you want to pursue acertain hobby that requires you
to travel.
Maybe you want to do somethingthat is gonna take up your
weekends, but like if youabsolutely love it, why aren't
you doing it?
Because the time is gonna passand you're gonna be maybe
(09:32):
letting your supplies or yourgear, like maybe you do a sport
of some sort and you're justletting it collect dust.
Now, things do change when lifechanges.
Maybe your job changes, you getkids, or you move, or whatever
that the case may be.
And so things shift for you.
(09:53):
Uh but if something is reallypulling on your heart, you've
gotta at least partake in it.
You've got to pursue it.
And, you know, this leads me tomy third point of this episode,
which is you should get a hobbyif you don't have one.
I think it's really, reallyimportant to do things for the
(10:15):
simple pleasure of doing them.
We live in this era, this timewhere everything is monetized.
People, they they sketch acouple of doodles in a notebook,
and all of a sudden they have anInstagram account and they're
selling, you know, little piecesof artwork, or they create an
Etsy store.
And listen, I I'm not gonnaknock anyone's hustle, but not
(10:38):
everything needs to bemonetized, not everything needs
to be turned into a business.
You can do things because youlove doing it.
You can do things because theymake you happy, you can do
things because you enjoylearning about yourself through
the process.
I have come to a conclusionabout myself with my artwork.
(11:02):
I started painting two yearsago, acrylic on stretched
canvas, and I'm okay.
I think that I have a goodnatural base, but I lack
technical skills.
So most of the things I paintare kind of abstract, and I've
(11:26):
I've gotten a pencil, a couple acouple pencils and a notebook.
I've practiced in the notebookbecause I think sketching will
help me with my painting,meaning learning how to create
things that look more realistic,like facial features, pieces of
fruit, objects, like a wineglass or uh, you know, even a
(11:50):
leaf or a flower.
I've I've done a couple ofpencil sketches of those things.
But I'm struggling with thepainting because I'm very
limited in my ability.
So if I can stretch myself alittle bit and really learn some
of these new things or figureout how to do it, my painting
(12:14):
will improve significantly.
Now, what's fun is I have acouple pieces that are really,
really good.
And then I have a couple piecesthat are just eh, they're okay.
From afar, they look great, butup close you can see that they
really need some improvement.
And I'm kind of at a point whereI will just get bored with the
(12:39):
painting and move on to thenext, and then I'll go back and
forth, and it's hard for me toactually decide when something
is finished, when something isdone, when I want to put my name
on it and move on from itpermanently.
And I wonder if that's a commonthing with people who paint for
hobbying or people who draw.
(13:00):
Like, at what point do you knowthat something is actually done?
Now, I've talked to otherartists and they just say, Well,
you'll know it's done when youknow, you know, you'll just know
when you know.
And I guess I will figure outwhat that means in time.
And I just have to do it alittle bit more.
But I am happy to say that Isketched, I sketched over the
(13:21):
weekend, I worked on a nose andum a wine glass.
The wine glass did not come outthat good, but the nose is
pretty good.
And it's really just about beingsuper, super patient and just
being very gentle with thepencil, not pressing too hard
and just going over and over andover, like hundreds of times
(13:44):
over the same space, shadingdifferently, and just seeing how
that looks, what it what comesout, you know.
Now there's one more thing Iwant to talk to you about, and I
appreciate you sitting with meas I ramble because this is
literally how my brainfunctions.
There's something called theliminal space.
(14:07):
And the liminal space, this issubject number four, by the way.
The liminal space is thisin-between.
I've talked about this on otherepisodes in the past, like with
caterpillars when they're in thecocoon and they're they're not
quite a caterpillar anymore.
They kind of become this likesoupy, watery substance, and
(14:28):
they're going through theirchanges, their metamorphosis to
become the butterfly.
And that's similar to theliminal space that we are in
when we are becoming someonenew.
Now you're gonna ask me, Well,I'm not really becoming someone
(14:49):
new.
I'm still gonna be me.
Yes, you are.
But if you are working onyourself, if you're doing some
type of self-improvement, oryou're learning a skill, or um
starting a business, or studyinga subject, who you are at the
end of that process is a newversion of yourself because now
(15:11):
you've gained all of thatknowledge and experience.
And when you're thinking aboutthe next version of yourself and
what their life looks like, orif you're envisioning a future,
you know, it's really exciting,right?
Maybe you envision having ahouse somewhere or living in a
(15:32):
certain area, or your businessis doing a certain number, like
monthly income.
Let's say, you know, you youpick a random number for
yourself that is satisfying foryou.
I know I have a number that Iwant to hit in profit month over
month, and I'm nowhere near it,but I know I'll get there.
(15:54):
And so even just in saying that,like I know I'm I know I'm gonna
get there, knowing you're gonnaget there, what do you do in the
3D reality that you're living inwhere you're not quite there
yet, but you're working towardsit and you're not forcing it.
You're trusting your intuition,you're trusting the signs that
you're receiving, you'relistening for any sort of cues
(16:18):
or direction or where lookingfor where things look easy, but
your 3D situation doesn't matchwhat your future holds for you
yet.
What do you do with that?
So uh the short answer is youhave fun and you make sure that
you feel good and you do thingsthat the future version of you
(16:42):
will enjoy.
And it sounds crazy, right?
So here's an example I have afriend, she lives in Chicago,
and she teaches this principleof like, you know, if you want
to live a wealthier life, theanswer to it is not to cut back
(17:03):
on your lifestyle or to downsizeso you can save money so that
you can become wealthy.
No, you actually want tocontinue and look for ways to
make your life feel easier andbetter and more enjoyable.
And one of the things she doesis she goes to Starbucks almost
every day and she gets a matcha,uh like matcha latte.
(17:27):
And, you know, it's I don'tknow, maybe four or five, maybe
even six dollars at this point.
And that is something that makesher feel really good.
She enjoys it.
She sips it in the car and she'slike on her way to the gym, and
it just gives her peace and it'swarm and it's soothing, it gives
(17:48):
her energy, and she loves it.
And sometimes she'll buy thepeople in the if she's in the
drive-thru, the people in thecar behind her, she'll buy their
drinks as well.
Like she'll leave$20 or whateverwith the uh barista.
And for her, that helped herfeel like she was wealthier
(18:09):
before she got there, and it wasa habit where she was pampering
herself and treating herself andfeeling good and enjoying life
and having fun.
And I loved that so much.
Now, truth be told, I don't loveStarbucks as much as I used to,
but I do indulge in very goodcoffee every day, and I take my
(18:35):
time with it.
I I believe even if I have towake up super early, which is
usually around 5 a.m., I needthat little buffer of time to
just sit and sip my coffee andprepare myself for the day.
I try not to get on the phonetoo much, but just sort of ease
(18:57):
into the morning and then thinkabout okay, what am I gonna
wear?
Where, where am I gonna, youknow, how am I gonna style my
hair today?
What am I gonna wear to workout?
I gotta throw those clothes inmy bag, and you know, just sort
of relax and breathe.
And I will tell you right now,this works.
So if you are on your way tobecoming someone else, or you're
(19:24):
leveling up your life, and maybeyour 3D reality does not align
with who you are becoming yet.
Keyword is yet.
I want you to think about whatis something that you can do
right now that makes you feelgood, that feels like fun, that
brings you joy, that's uh anenergy or a frequency that you
(19:45):
can easily tap into so that youcan maintain that feel-good
vibration and continue to emitthat out into the universe so
that you attract more of thatback into your life.
Now, this episode was all overthe map, and we're 20 minutes
in, and I'm just about done, butI want to go back and just
(20:05):
review what we talked abouttoday.
So the first thing was living incontrast or in duality and
knowing that multiple things canbe true at the same time, and it
can be confusing, but it isabsolutely valid to feel good
about certain things and to feelnot so great about other things,
and it can be happeningsimultaneously.
It means you're alive.
(20:27):
Another thing related to that isthis choice of neutrality.
So you can choose to allowthings to affect you on a
visceral level, or you canchoose to be neutral.
However, I want to say one thingabout this: don't gaslight
yourself.
So if something is actuallybothering you, do not tell
yourself, oh, it doesn't botherme, I'm fine.
(20:48):
But really, you're not.
Instead, I would say acknowledgethose feelings, allow yourself
to feel them, and then askyourself, why do I feel this
way?
And then ask yourself again, butwhy do I feel this way?
But why, but why, but why?
Like a child with a curiousmind, because you will get down
to the answer, you will drilldown and you will realize it's
(21:11):
not that important.
But you have to go through thatexercise.
So the second thing we talkedabout was pursuing your dream
and understanding that sometimesit's gonna cost you.
And for me, it cost me uhgetting married and having kids,
and I'm okay with that.
Um, kids say that's probablythat ship has sailed.
(21:33):
I I can't have kids of my ownanymore.
Maybe I'll adopt one day.
I don't know, but probably notbecause I really like to have my
freedom.
Um then we talked about gettinga hobby and how important I
think that is for everyone.
Any kind of hobby.
Maybe you take photos, maybe yousurf, maybe you draw, maybe you
(21:55):
paint, maybe you dance.
You need to honor your innerchild and continue to pursue
things.
That makes you happy.
Or if you don't know what theyare, start exploring.
And then the last thing wasabout living in the liminal
space where you're not quite whoyou want to be yet, but you know
you're well on your way there.
And what are the things that youcan do right now in your current
(22:15):
situation to help you feel good,to stay on that high vibe, to
bring you some joy, and to getyou to continue to move in that
in that angle or to keep thatmomentum going.
So this episode was all over themap.
And I appreciate you riding withme.
22 and a half minutes in, and Imade my points.
(22:36):
I appreciate you.
If you want to stay in touch,check the show notes for how to
do that.
I'm grateful for your time andattention as always.
And I'll catch you on the nextone.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
Welcome back.
I am your host, Tiana, and thisepisode is going to be a
mishmash of a whole bunch ofthings because I have really
given myself a lot of time to becreative.
(00:49):
And so therefore the juices areflowing, and I have so many
things I want to talk about withyou today.
By the end of this episode, youwill walk away with some
interesting ideas about how Isee life progressing and the
duality in which we live in.
And I'm also going to make somerecommendations for you because
(01:09):
there's something reallyimportant that I feel a lot of
us forget about as we mature andage and become adults and then
move on into like our lateryears in life.
Now, I certainly don't considermyself a senior.
(01:39):
Even though if you had asked meat that time, I would say, yeah,
I'm I'm being true to myself.
I know for a fact I wasn't.
So the first thing I want totalk about is how I woke up
yesterday morning and there wasa trolling comment on a reel
that I posted on Instagram.
Now, here's the thing (01:55):
when you post content on anything and you
put it out onto the internet,you are subjecting yourself to
criticism.
And it is part of the reason whyso many of us don't do it.
And it is part of the reason whyso many of us wear masks.
We choose to use filters.
(02:17):
We might even filter ourthoughts, ideas, and our
intellectual property.
Because one, it could be superunique, two, maybe you don't
want someone to steal it.
And three, maybe there's alittle bit of uh, you know,
something being sacred to youthat you just want it for
(02:38):
yourself and you don'tnecessarily want to share it
with the world, and that'sabsolutely okay.
But this video that I posted wasbasically saying it was a B-roll
video with music, with words onthe screen that basically said,
You can't hurt me.
When I was escaping an abusiverelationship, I had to take on
(02:58):
three jobs to pay back debt thatI inherited.
And the person who left acomment basically alluded to the
fact that, oh, since I wasemotionally abusing my partner
and he decided to leave, that Ididn't have a honeypot to
(03:20):
extract from and I had toactually work to pay my own
bills.
And I just could not stoplaughing.
I just could not stop laughingbecause that couldn't be any
further from the truth.
Now, first let me say years ago,I would have been really
(03:41):
defensive.
I might have tried to engagewith this person, or I would
have sent them a message, or Iwould have deleted the comment.
I did none of the above.
They will be not not be gettinga reaction from me.
They don't deserve it.
Because the reality is, first ofall, it could be a fake profile,
in which case, whoever that is,they really need to get a life.
(04:04):
But also, I kind of feel bad forthis person because it's like,
is your life really that badthat this is how you're choosing
to spend your time by leaving areally rude comment on a
stranger's video?
Okay, I feel bad for you.
Like, wow, your life must reallybe horrible.
(04:26):
And here's the thing within afew hours, on the same morning,
I went to the gym, I saw afriend, and one, I found out
he's a loyal listener to theshow.
And two, he gave me a reallynice compliment about how he's
enjoying the podcast.
He likes the topics I talkabout, and he said I have a
(04:48):
great voice.
So it's like this stark contrastand the swing with the emotions,
you know, that pendulum.
Because earlier that day, I hadgotten this horrible comment
about something that I put outinto the world.
And then a few hours later, Igot a great compliment about the
(05:08):
things I'm putting out into theworld.
And so the moral of the story isthat both things can be true,
and you don't have to leteverything affect you.
You can choose to be neutral, oryou can choose to take anything
as constructive criticism orfeedback, or you could just
accept the compliment.
(05:30):
And it's really up to you todecide how you want to receive
those things.
Now, when it comes to two thingsbeing true, what I mean by that
is maybe we will experiencedifferent emotions.
And so I wasn't really affectedby the negative comment, but it
(05:54):
did make me stop and think aboutthis.
Is exactly why I don't sharesome of my stories with the
world, or this is exactly why Idon't talk about when I was in
an abusive relationship becauseI feel shame about it.
Here's the thing (06:10):
it's comments like that where someone's making
assumptions that causes peopleto stay silent.
And and oh, by the way, thereare a lot of men that are in
abusive relationships.
It's not only about women orwomen saying that they're in a
(06:30):
bad situation and that they'retrying to get out of it.
There are a lot of instances inwhere a man is in a relationship
and he's the one who's and who'sthe victim, you know, where he's
the one being treated poorly.
And it's horrible.
It's absolutely horrible.
So I think it's worth showing alittle kindness and being
(06:54):
patient.
You never really know whatsomeone's going through behind
closed doors.
And then I also think ifsomebody's doing something great
and it's helping you, let themknow.
So those two experiences I hadwithin, I don't know, a couple
hours.
And it was just, it was sointeresting.
It made me stop and think.
It made me really question, youknow, how am I presenting myself
(07:18):
into the world?
And is there something that Iwant to improve upon?
And that's that's just literallywhere I'm at with things.
But this this was such aninteresting experience for me to
sit with.
Now, the second thing I want totalk to you about, and I told
you this episode is going to beall over the map.
The second thing I wanted totalk about is how I mentioned to
(07:41):
someone earlier today, theyasked me if I had kids, and I
said, No, I don't have any kids.
And uh, it was two gentlementhat are members at the gym.
One is uh a retired bodybuilder,and the other is his friend.
And we're just talking about ourkids, showing where they were
showing me pictures of theirkids on their phone, and you
know, really nice people.
(08:02):
And when I said, Oh no, I don'thave any kids, and the one
friend said, you know, oh, whynot?
And I said, Well, I was pursuingmy bodybuilding career, you
know, that was my dream, and Iwas all in.
And the other gentleman who isalso a bodybuilder, he goes,
Yeah, I I've I knew you werereally serious about it back in
the day.
I had heard you, you know, wentall out and like really gave
(08:26):
your heart and soul to it, andyou were pursuing the pro card
and you wanted to have a careerin it.
And I said, Yeah, absolutely.
And for me, where I was mentallyat that time, that was the most
important thing to me.
It was my hobby, which turnedinto my passion, which turned
into my dream.
And I had laser beam focus onit.
(08:48):
Now, it cost me, and that'sokay.
But I want you to know, like,don't feel badly if you don't
want what your, you know,people, your friends, your
family, what your even what yoursignificant other, like, if you
don't want the same things asthem, don't feel badly about
(09:11):
that.
Maybe you want to pursue acertain hobby that requires you
to travel.
Maybe you want to do somethingthat is gonna take up your
weekends, but like if youabsolutely love it, why aren't
you doing it?
Because the time is gonna passand you're gonna be maybe
(09:32):
letting your supplies or yourgear, like maybe you do a sport
of some sort and you're justletting it collect dust.
Now, things do change when lifechanges.
Maybe your job changes, you getkids, or you move, or whatever
that the case may be.
And so things shift for you.
(09:53):
Uh but if something is reallypulling on your heart, you've
gotta at least partake in it.
You've got to pursue it.
And, you know, this leads me tomy third point of this episode,
which is you should get a hobbyif you don't have one.
I think it's really, reallyimportant to do things for the
(10:15):
simple pleasure of doing them.
We live in this era, this timewhere everything is monetized.
People, they they sketch acouple of doodles in a notebook,
and all of a sudden they have anInstagram account and they're
selling, you know, little piecesof artwork, or they create an
Etsy store.
And listen, I I'm not gonnaknock anyone's hustle, but not
(10:38):
everything needs to bemonetized, not everything needs
to be turned into a business.
You can do things because youlove doing it.
You can do things because theymake you happy, you can do
things because you enjoylearning about yourself through
the process.
I have come to a conclusionabout myself with my artwork.
(11:02):
I started painting two yearsago, acrylic on stretched
canvas, and I'm okay.
I think that I have a goodnatural base, but I lack
technical skills.
So most of the things I paintare kind of abstract, and I've
(11:26):
I've gotten a pencil, a couple acouple pencils and a notebook.
I've practiced in the notebookbecause I think sketching will
help me with my painting,meaning learning how to create
things that look more realistic,like facial features, pieces of
fruit, objects, like a wineglass or uh, you know, even a
(11:50):
leaf or a flower.
I've I've done a couple ofpencil sketches of those things.
But I'm struggling with thepainting because I'm very
limited in my ability.
So if I can stretch myself alittle bit and really learn some
of these new things or figureout how to do it, my painting
(12:14):
will improve significantly.
Now, what's fun is I have acouple pieces that are really,
really good.
And then I have a couple piecesthat are just eh, they're okay.
From afar, they look great, butup close you can see that they
really need some improvement.
And I'm kind of at a point whereI will just get bored with the
(12:39):
painting and move on to thenext, and then I'll go back and
forth, and it's hard for me toactually decide when something
is finished, when something isdone, when I want to put my name
on it and move on from itpermanently.
And I wonder if that's a commonthing with people who paint for
hobbying or people who draw.
(13:00):
Like, at what point do you knowthat something is actually done?
Now, I've talked to otherartists and they just say, Well,
you'll know it's done when youknow, you know, you'll just know
when you know.
And I guess I will figure outwhat that means in time.
And I just have to do it alittle bit more.
But I am happy to say that Isketched, I sketched over the
(13:21):
weekend, I worked on a nose andum a wine glass.
The wine glass did not come outthat good, but the nose is
pretty good.
And it's really just about beingsuper, super patient and just
being very gentle with thepencil, not pressing too hard
and just going over and over andover, like hundreds of times
(13:44):
over the same space, shadingdifferently, and just seeing how
that looks, what it what comesout, you know.
Now there's one more thing Iwant to talk to you about, and I
appreciate you sitting with meas I ramble because this is
literally how my brainfunctions.
There's something called theliminal space.
(14:07):
And the liminal space, this issubject number four, by the way.
The liminal space is thisin-between.
I've talked about this on otherepisodes in the past, like with
caterpillars when they're in thecocoon and they're they're not
quite a caterpillar anymore.
They kind of become this likesoupy, watery substance, and
(14:28):
they're going through theirchanges, their metamorphosis to
become the butterfly.
And that's similar to theliminal space that we are in
when we are becoming someonenew.
Now you're gonna ask me, Well,I'm not really becoming someone
(14:49):
new.
I'm still gonna be me.
Yes, you are.
But if you are working onyourself, if you're doing some
type of self-improvement, oryou're learning a skill, or um
starting a business, or studyinga subject, who you are at the
end of that process is a newversion of yourself because now
(15:11):
you've gained all of thatknowledge and experience.
And when you're thinking aboutthe next version of yourself and
what their life looks like, orif you're envisioning a future,
you know, it's really exciting,right?
Maybe you envision having ahouse somewhere or living in a
(15:32):
certain area, or your businessis doing a certain number, like
monthly income.
Let's say, you know, you youpick a random number for
yourself that is satisfying foryou.
I know I have a number that Iwant to hit in profit month over
month, and I'm nowhere near it,but I know I'll get there.
(15:54):
And so even just in saying that,like I know I'm I know I'm gonna
get there, knowing you're gonnaget there, what do you do in the
3D reality that you're living inwhere you're not quite there
yet, but you're working towardsit and you're not forcing it.
You're trusting your intuition,you're trusting the signs that
you're receiving, you'relistening for any sort of cues
(16:18):
or direction or where lookingfor where things look easy, but
your 3D situation doesn't matchwhat your future holds for you
yet.
What do you do with that?
So uh the short answer is youhave fun and you make sure that
you feel good and you do thingsthat the future version of you
(16:42):
will enjoy.
And it sounds crazy, right?
So here's an example I have afriend, she lives in Chicago,
and she teaches this principleof like, you know, if you want
to live a wealthier life, theanswer to it is not to cut back
(17:03):
on your lifestyle or to downsizeso you can save money so that
you can become wealthy.
No, you actually want tocontinue and look for ways to
make your life feel easier andbetter and more enjoyable.
And one of the things she doesis she goes to Starbucks almost
every day and she gets a matcha,uh like matcha latte.
(17:27):
And, you know, it's I don'tknow, maybe four or five, maybe
even six dollars at this point.
And that is something that makesher feel really good.
She enjoys it.
She sips it in the car and she'slike on her way to the gym, and
it just gives her peace and it'swarm and it's soothing, it gives
(17:48):
her energy, and she loves it.
And sometimes she'll buy thepeople in the if she's in the
drive-thru, the people in thecar behind her, she'll buy their
drinks as well.
Like she'll leave$20 or whateverwith the uh barista.
And for her, that helped herfeel like she was wealthier
(18:09):
before she got there, and it wasa habit where she was pampering
herself and treating herself andfeeling good and enjoying life
and having fun.
And I loved that so much.
Now, truth be told, I don't loveStarbucks as much as I used to,
but I do indulge in very goodcoffee every day, and I take my
(18:35):
time with it.
I I believe even if I have towake up super early, which is
usually around 5 a.m., I needthat little buffer of time to
just sit and sip my coffee andprepare myself for the day.
I try not to get on the phonetoo much, but just sort of ease
(18:57):
into the morning and then thinkabout okay, what am I gonna
wear?
Where, where am I gonna, youknow, how am I gonna style my
hair today?
What am I gonna wear to workout?
I gotta throw those clothes inmy bag, and you know, just sort
of relax and breathe.
And I will tell you right now,this works.
So if you are on your way tobecoming someone else, or you're
(19:24):
leveling up your life, and maybeyour 3D reality does not align
with who you are becoming yet.
Keyword is yet.
I want you to think about whatis something that you can do
right now that makes you feelgood, that feels like fun, that
brings you joy, that's uh anenergy or a frequency that you
(19:45):
can easily tap into so that youcan maintain that feel-good
vibration and continue to emitthat out into the universe so
that you attract more of thatback into your life.
Now, this episode was all overthe map, and we're 20 minutes
in, and I'm just about done, butI want to go back and just
(20:05):
review what we talked abouttoday.
So the first thing was living incontrast or in duality and
knowing that multiple things canbe true at the same time, and it
can be confusing, but it isabsolutely valid to feel good
about certain things and to feelnot so great about other things,
and it can be happeningsimultaneously.
It means you're alive.
(20:27):
Another thing related to that isthis choice of neutrality.
So you can choose to allowthings to affect you on a
visceral level, or you canchoose to be neutral.
However, I want to say one thingabout this: don't gaslight
yourself.
So if something is actuallybothering you, do not tell
yourself, oh, it doesn't botherme, I'm fine.
(20:48):
But really, you're not.
Instead, I would say acknowledgethose feelings, allow yourself
to feel them, and then askyourself, why do I feel this
way?
And then ask yourself again, butwhy do I feel this way?
But why, but why, but why?
Like a child with a curiousmind, because you will get down
to the answer, you will drilldown and you will realize it's
(21:11):
not that important.
But you have to go through thatexercise.
So the second thing we talkedabout was pursuing your dream
and understanding that sometimesit's gonna cost you.
And for me, it cost me uhgetting married and having kids,
and I'm okay with that.
Um, kids say that's probablythat ship has sailed.
(21:33):
I I can't have kids of my ownanymore.
Maybe I'll adopt one day.
I don't know, but probably notbecause I really like to have my
freedom.
Um then we talked about gettinga hobby and how important I
think that is for everyone.
Any kind of hobby.
Maybe you take photos, maybe yousurf, maybe you draw, maybe you
(21:55):
paint, maybe you dance.
You need to honor your innerchild and continue to pursue
things.
That makes you happy.
Or if you don't know what theyare, start exploring.
And then the last thing wasabout living in the liminal
space where you're not quite whoyou want to be yet, but you know
you're well on your way there.
And what are the things that youcan do right now in your current
(22:15):
situation to help you feel good,to stay on that high vibe, to
bring you some joy, and to getyou to continue to move in that
in that angle or to keep thatmomentum going.
So this episode was all over themap.
And I appreciate you riding withme.
22 and a half minutes in, and Imade my points.
(22:36):
I appreciate you.
If you want to stay in touch,check the show notes for how to
do that.
I'm grateful for your time andattention as always.
And I'll catch you on the nextone.
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