June 22, 2026 • 23 mins
Changing your mind can look messy from the outside, but from the inside it can be the most honest thing you do. A brand-new baby in our family has me reflecting on second chances, identity shifts, and the moments that prove you’re not stuck being who you used to be. The world loves certainty, but real growth often comes from a pivot that only makes sense to you at first.
We get into the mindset work behind an unbreakable mind and body: how direction creates momentum, why people judge lane changes, and how to stop letting old standards run your life. I also talk about the kind of “miracles” we rarely name, the small daily actions that compound over time, just like strength training. We unpack acceptance and surrender without confusing them for quitting, and why changing the lens you view your life through is a practice you build, not a switch you flip.
You’ll leave with three practical action items you can journal on right away.
If you’re ready to give yourself permission to evolve, press play. Subscribe to the Unbreakable Mind and Body Podcast, share this with someone who needs a second chance, and leave a review so more people can find mindset tools that actually stick.
If you want the deeper lessons behind strength training, join my newsletter called Between Reps: Building the Unbreakable Woman. Check it out HERE
Instagram: www.instagram.com/tianamoves
Website: unbreakablemb.com
Email: info@unbreakablemb.com
Disclaimer: This show is for education and entertainment purposes only. This is not intended as a replacement for therapy. Please seek out the help of a professional to assist you with your specific situation.
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SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
SPEAKER_01 (00:38):
Welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, Tiana, and onthis episode, we're going to
talk about second chances.
And I am very, very, veryexcited to share some news with
you.
I am now an aunt.
As of a few days ago, at thetime of this recording, my
brother and his wife had a baby.
(01:00):
And it's been an amazingexperience throughout her
pregnancy.
And now that the baby's here,it's been it's been incredible.
It's been surreal.
I've been so introspective andreally thinking about second
chances, about changing yourmind, about reframing things.
(01:20):
And you know, on this show, wedo talk a lot about what it
takes to get strongerphysically.
But on this episode, we're gonnaget into more of the headspace
and the mindset and perspectivebecause if you think about it,
you need to have direction inlife.
(01:43):
And with your direction, you canthen take action and take steps
to move yourself forward.
Of course, by the end of thisepisode, you will walk away with
three action items that you canreflect upon, you can journal
on, or you could just ponder onyour next walk.
So that maybe you can findthings in your life where you
(02:05):
want to give yourself a secondchance, or maybe reframe how you
see something.
So here's the backstory.
My brother and I are a littleless than two years apart.
I'm the oldest.
I'm currently 47.
He is 45.
And he spent most of his lifetelling people he didn't want
(02:26):
kids.
Um, he was almost certain, andwe would joke about it all the
time.
And in 2018, I had to make adifficult choice.
Um, I had a lot of healthissues, and I decided to um go
through with a hysterectomybecause it was really cramping
my style.
(02:47):
And without getting into all ofthe specifics, we had tried my
doctor and I, we had triedseveral things before we came to
this crossroads in my life.
And on the day of my surgery, mybrother was at the hospital.
He shut up for me.
(03:09):
Now, we have always been veryclose, but we've certainly made
a lot of different choices forourselves in the past.
Growing up, I was a straight Astudent.
He decided to do differentthings with his life.
He dropped out of high school,he was constantly in trouble.
(03:31):
He spent a good amount of timeuh in his 20s in and out of
prison.
And it's been such a surrealexperience for me to witness his
change, his turnaround in hislife, his ability to be
(03:53):
completely transparent, honest,and real with every human being
he encounters, whether they findhim abrasive, entertaining,
amusing, kind, funny, or theythink he's an asshole, he
doesn't give a fuck.
But he is always honest.
And although we have been verydifferent in some of our life
(04:14):
experiences and the paths thatwe have respectively chosen for
ourselves, when it comes tothat, we are very much the same.
We say it like it is, we say theuh uncomfortable thing, and we
know that you know the realstrength in a relationship is
how two parties can have anuncomfortable conversation, be
(04:38):
very vulnerable with each other,and then find a constructive way
to either come to a compromise,find a resolution, find
forgiveness, and then you know,create the path forward from
there.
So going back to just watchinghim completely change his life,
(05:00):
it's been amazing.
We had a co-ed shower, and thegroups of people truly were all
there for him.
And I know that 20 years ago,that probably was not anywhere
near where he thought his lifewas going to the direction it
was going to go in.
(05:22):
So to see him at a baby shower,to see pretty much everybody
there for him, and of course forhis wife, uh, and to just take
it all in.
It was it was a lot.
I'm very proud of him.
And so now going back just acouple days, being in the
hospital, seeing my newbornnephew, eventually getting a
(05:44):
chance to hold him.
Um it brought up a lot for mebecause it's not just about this
family moment that we're sharingtogether, but it's also about
how I was thinking about how theworld really rewards people who
are certain, people who knowexactly where they want to go
(06:07):
and they have a direction, likeI mentioned earlier.
But oftentimes, the people whochange their mind are confusing
to other people.
The world looks down upon peoplewho change lanes, shift gears,
maybe a highly successful careerwoman, and then she decides that
(06:30):
she needs to take a sabbaticalfrom her career to nurture her
children.
And people have opinions.
But what if what if that'sbackwards, right?
What if the identity that we'regripping on to is preventing you
from an amazing experience?
(06:51):
Like my brother saying he didn'twant kids for a really long
time, and then to change hismind as he got older.
You know, he got more seriouswith his partner and then
realized, you know what?
This is something that I reallywant.
Now he's no spring chicken,right?
45 is, I wouldn't say it's old,but it is his firstborn.
(07:13):
So no one really knows if uhit's a one and done for him or
not, but we'll time will tell,right?
But it's this idea that you canchange your mind, you can hold
out on something, and then anexperience will come your way
(07:36):
and it will flip you on yourhead.
And are we going to see that asa weakness or as a power, as a
strength?
Now, the thing that no onereally talks about is, you know,
miracles in life.
And we think that miracles haveto be this like big dramatic
(07:58):
thing.
But what if the miracle is thatyou can actually change your
life by doing small, littleactions every single day?
Very similar to what I talkabout when we're talking about
strength training and how Ishare on many episodes of this
exact show that you are going tomake a massive transformation in
(08:24):
your life, but it's going to bethe culmination of hundreds of
thousands, if not millions, ofmicro steps over a long period
of time, a sustainabletransformation.
So maybe there will be timeswhen you're going to say to
(08:44):
yourself, oh wow, I was wrongabout that.
I thought I wanted this, but Ireally want that.
And you know, nobody's reallykeeping a spreadsheet of your
opinions.
Nobody's keeping tabs on whatyou want for yourself.
I think that more often thannot, we're worried about what
other people think, and otherpeople aren't really thinking
(09:07):
about you.
They're not thinking about me.
So maybe that will help you findsome comfort when you find
yourself trying to decide whichdirection you want to go in.
The reality is you know what youwant to do.
You just might be holding out,you might be holding yourself to
a standard that an older versionof you holds, not the person you
(09:30):
are today.
Now, thinking about acceptance,once you change your mind and
it's confusing to other people,that that doesn't matter.
Is it confusing to you?
Because when you walk inside ofa store or uh in someone's
(09:51):
house, you take your sunglassesoff, right?
So you're changing the lens withwhich you view life, and you are
allowed to do that for a lot ofthings, for everything.
You can decide to punishyourself through a
transformation, a process, ajourney, an education, or you
(10:15):
can accept the baseline, you canaccept where you're at at the
current moment, and then buildoff of that.
Because acceptance and surrenderis not necessarily giving up,
it's acceptance, it'sacknowledging what is while
(10:35):
still moving forward in that newdirection that you want to go
in.
Hopefully that makes sense.
A lot of people think surrenderis quitting, and it absolutely
is not.
It's about saying, hey, this iswhere I am right now, but I
don't have to stay here.
And that's a brave move.
(10:58):
But adjusting the lens that youview life through, or a moment
through, it's a practice, it'snot something you can just
switch on and off.
It's gonna feel uncomfortable.
It's kind of like establishing aboundary.
You have to practice it.
Learning a skill, you have topractice.
(11:20):
We see people creating artwork,music, or putting together
offers in the digital space oreven in the 3D world, and it
looks so easy, but but that'sbecause that person has put in
hundreds of thousands of hoursinto their craft.
(11:42):
You watch a ballet dancer, theymove across the floor with ease
and grace.
Inside of their shoes, they haveblisters.
Their toenails are probablycracked, maybe no toenails at
all on some of their toes,bleeding, band-aids, muslin.
That's uh muslin is like uh, itlooks almost like cotton, but
(12:06):
it's a little bit lighter, likemore airy.
And I believe it comes fromwool.
I might be wrong about that.
It's been a minute since I'vebeen in the ballet studio.
But the point is they make itlook easy, but it's the craft,
it's years of work.
And so just like a skill,sometimes you're going to ping
(12:31):
pong because you're gonna make adifferent choice for yourself
because maybe in your heartthat's what you want, but it's
confusing, and so you mightdefault back to your old ways.
So it takes practice.
Now, uh here's some takeawayitems.
This is gonna be a shorterepisode this week because well,
(12:54):
sometimes I just like to beconcise.
I want you to think about onebelief.
Take an inventory of somethingthat you keep repeating to
yourself, something that thatyou've been telling yourself for
so long that it feels like fact.
I want you to write it down andthen I want you to ask yourself,
(13:15):
is this still true about me?
Or is this who I used to be?
A belief, a question, and thensit within.
So I'll tell you for me, uh abelief I used to have for myself
was that I wanted to be thiswildly successful commercial
(13:39):
real estate property manager.
I wanted to be like a seniorregional manager or director and
have a team working for me.
And as I was climbing the ladderand making my way up, I realized
this is not what I want anymore.
(14:00):
I had been going through myhealth issues at the same time
as working on a big portfolio offinancial institutions in
northern New Jersey and RocklandCounty, New York.
And I realized I was killingmyself post-natural disaster
(14:22):
because I had over a hundredproperties I was responsible
for, and many of them sustaineddamage.
And so I was pushing myself outon the road at night, doing
inspections, writing up reports,trying to get work orders um
submitted and then inspected,and then closed out, get those
invoices paid.
(14:42):
And I stopped and said, so I'mworking harder to get a
promotion, to move up, to workharder, to get more
responsibility, to maybe getanother promotion, to move up
again, and maybe oversee peoplein a position that I used to
have.
And you know what?
(15:03):
It just didn't appeal to meanymore.
And when it came down to it andI was contemplating entrepreneur
life, I realized, oh my God, Idon't want to climb the
corporate ladder anymore.
I'm not interested in doingthat.
That is not something that Iwant for me.
And it was really challengingbecause I put in blood, sweat,
(15:29):
and tears to get to that pointin my career.
It wasn't my first career choiceeither.
It was the third time I hadalready made a change.
And now I was walking away fromall of that, a six-figure
income.
I had very little debt.
I owned my car outright.
(15:49):
I had three gym membershipsbecause I worked all over the
state in New Jersey.
So I had two gym memberships inNew Jersey because sometimes it
was just easier to work out nearwork and then drive home.
I also had a gym membership athome or in my hometown, and life
was great until it wasn't.
So I had to really sit down andask myself like, is this who I
(16:12):
am anymore?
Or do I have a bigger callingthat doesn't make sense to
anyone but me right now?
And I did.
It was time for me to leave topursue fitness, my passion.
Now, number two, this nexttakeaway.
I want you to think about whatis your second chance going to
be?
What is the thing you've beencircling?
What is that version of yourselfthat you have almost let
(16:36):
yourself become?
Consider naming it, considerwriting yourself a letter from
that perspective.
So it's five years from now.
You were brave, you did thething, you made the change, you
are embodying this new versionof yourself, and you're writing
a letter from the future toyourself today.
(16:56):
What would that look like?
What would you say in thatletter?
What would your title be?
How much money would you bemaking?
What kind of life would you beliving?
Where would you be living?
It's a little woo, but you knowme.
I always like to mix a lot ofthe practical with a lot of the
spiritual because that is how Iroll.
Now, this third thing, try thereframe exercise.
(17:21):
Maybe you had a hardconversation with somebody.
Maybe you missed a workout.
Maybe you had a tough day andyour diet is off.
And instead of telling yourselfyou failed, you fucked up, I
want you to tell yourself I haveinformation.
(17:41):
And then I want you to thinkabout what that information is
telling you and try to reframeit so that you know what the
next move is.
You see, when you're leveling upin your life, when you are
becoming someone or doingsomething, becoming something,
(18:03):
you have to think about whatkind of decisions you would make
from that vantage point.
What would that person do?
So I'll tell you right now thatif you want to improve your
quality of life in some sort ofway, let's say you want more
money in your life, which is apretty common desire, a practice
(18:24):
that you could incorporate wouldbe to stop going to four
different grocery stores to getthe best deals.
Because the wealthier version ofyou is going to value their time
more than snipping coupons andwasting gas money and time going
to four different grocery storesfor their sales, which we all
(18:47):
know are not really sales tobegin with.
So that's my little take.
I'll go through those actionitems again and I'll keep it a
little more concise.
So, number one, let's find thatbelief, something that's been
repeating in your head,something that you want to know
if it's still true aboutyourself, and question it.
(19:11):
Second thing you're gonna do isthink about what's that idea
that you've been circling?
What's the version of yourselfthat you want to become?
And consider naming it, and thenwrite yourself a letter from
that future version of yourself.
So maybe the person who you'regoing to become in five years
from now, writing a letter toyou today.
(19:31):
And then the third thing you'regoing to do this week is reframe
a situation.
Okay.
So maybe you missed a workout,you had a tough conversation,
you fucked something up.
Instead of beating yourself upabout it, instead of telling
yourself, you failed, you'regoing to tell yourself, I have
information.
(19:51):
And then you're going to examinewhat that information is and let
it guide you to the next move.
Because the only way you'reactually going to get to that
next level version of yourselfis if you start acting as if you
are already there.
Now, if the next version ofyourself in five years from now
(20:11):
is somebody who is abillionaire, I do not advise
spending all of your savingstoday on a luxury purse or a
vacation.
You don't have to be reckless,but could you could do something
small to treat yourself, or youcould save yourself some time.
(20:33):
Now, on a sidebar, and you knowthis wouldn't be a podcast
episode with me if I didn't goon a sidebar at least once.
When it comes to getting asolution, a wealthy person wants
to buy back their time.
So they don't necessarily wantto spend hours learning a skill
(20:57):
or doing something.
They will pay someone to do it,or they will pay someone to give
them back their time.
Okay.
So that's really where I wascoming from with the whole like
going to four different grocerystores because of their deals.
You're not valuing your timewhen you do that.
(21:19):
All right.
You are wasting your time,you're wasting your energy and
resources, you're also wastinggas.
So when you think about it thatway, you're not saving any money
at all.
But again, that is a totalsidebar.
And yes, it is my opinion, but Ithink if you actually did some
number crunching, you would seethat I'm probably right.
(21:42):
All right, so let's bring itback around because the whole
point of this episode is that achild that almost didn't exist
came into the world this week atthe time of this recording.
And the whole reason why he ishere is because one person said,
I changed my mind.
(22:05):
And that's it.
And that is a beautiful andpowerful thing.
And it didn't require a completelifestyle overhaul, it didn't
require any epic changes, it wasjust a conscious decision to
move in a different directionand to get the outcome that they
(22:26):
wanted.
So kudos to my brother.
The family is so excited, soblessed.
We are so happy to have thisbaby here.
And if you are still listening,thank you for your time and
attention.
I appreciate you being here eachand every week, bouncing back
and forth between all of thelovely topics.
(22:46):
But you know, this is life.
We can't always just talk aboutone thing.
And uh I'm I truly appreciateyou being here for me and
supporting me on this endeavor.
If this show resonates with you,I kindly ask that you share it
with somebody so that they canget into our community as well.
That is the best way to supportthe Unbreakable Mind and Body
(23:09):
podcast.
Thank you for being here, andI'll see you on the next one.
Welcome to the Unbreakable Mind and Body
Podcast.
I am your host, Tiana Gonzalez,a multi-passionate creative,
storyteller, and entrepreneurwith a fierce love for movement.
This is our space for powerfulstories and actionable
strategies to help you buildmental resilience and elevate
(00:28):
your self-care practice.
Together, we will unlock thetools that you need to create an
unbreakable mind and body.
SPEAKER_01 (00:38):
Welcome back to the show.
I'm your host, Tiana, and onthis episode, we're going to
talk about second chances.
And I am very, very, veryexcited to share some news with
you.
I am now an aunt.
As of a few days ago, at thetime of this recording, my
brother and his wife had a baby.
(01:00):
And it's been an amazingexperience throughout her
pregnancy.
And now that the baby's here,it's been it's been incredible.
It's been surreal.
I've been so introspective andreally thinking about second
chances, about changing yourmind, about reframing things.
(01:20):
And you know, on this show, wedo talk a lot about what it
takes to get strongerphysically.
But on this episode, we're gonnaget into more of the headspace
and the mindset and perspectivebecause if you think about it,
you need to have direction inlife.
(01:43):
And with your direction, you canthen take action and take steps
to move yourself forward.
Of course, by the end of thisepisode, you will walk away with
three action items that you canreflect upon, you can journal
on, or you could just ponder onyour next walk.
So that maybe you can findthings in your life where you
(02:05):
want to give yourself a secondchance, or maybe reframe how you
see something.
So here's the backstory.
My brother and I are a littleless than two years apart.
I'm the oldest.
I'm currently 47.
He is 45.
And he spent most of his lifetelling people he didn't want
(02:26):
kids.
Um, he was almost certain, andwe would joke about it all the
time.
And in 2018, I had to make adifficult choice.
Um, I had a lot of healthissues, and I decided to um go
through with a hysterectomybecause it was really cramping
my style.
(02:47):
And without getting into all ofthe specifics, we had tried my
doctor and I, we had triedseveral things before we came to
this crossroads in my life.
And on the day of my surgery, mybrother was at the hospital.
He shut up for me.
(03:09):
Now, we have always been veryclose, but we've certainly made
a lot of different choices forourselves in the past.
Growing up, I was a straight Astudent.
He decided to do differentthings with his life.
He dropped out of high school,he was constantly in trouble.
(03:31):
He spent a good amount of timeuh in his 20s in and out of
prison.
And it's been such a surrealexperience for me to witness his
change, his turnaround in hislife, his ability to be
(03:53):
completely transparent, honest,and real with every human being
he encounters, whether they findhim abrasive, entertaining,
amusing, kind, funny, or theythink he's an asshole, he
doesn't give a fuck.
But he is always honest.
And although we have been verydifferent in some of our life
(04:14):
experiences and the paths thatwe have respectively chosen for
ourselves, when it comes tothat, we are very much the same.
We say it like it is, we say theuh uncomfortable thing, and we
know that you know the realstrength in a relationship is
how two parties can have anuncomfortable conversation, be
(04:38):
very vulnerable with each other,and then find a constructive way
to either come to a compromise,find a resolution, find
forgiveness, and then you know,create the path forward from
there.
So going back to just watchinghim completely change his life,
(05:00):
it's been amazing.
We had a co-ed shower, and thegroups of people truly were all
there for him.
And I know that 20 years ago,that probably was not anywhere
near where he thought his lifewas going to the direction it
was going to go in.
(05:22):
So to see him at a baby shower,to see pretty much everybody
there for him, and of course forhis wife, uh, and to just take
it all in.
It was it was a lot.
I'm very proud of him.
And so now going back just acouple days, being in the
hospital, seeing my newbornnephew, eventually getting a
(05:44):
chance to hold him.
Um it brought up a lot for mebecause it's not just about this
family moment that we're sharingtogether, but it's also about
how I was thinking about how theworld really rewards people who
are certain, people who knowexactly where they want to go
(06:07):
and they have a direction, likeI mentioned earlier.
But oftentimes, the people whochange their mind are confusing
to other people.
The world looks down upon peoplewho change lanes, shift gears,
maybe a highly successful careerwoman, and then she decides that
(06:30):
she needs to take a sabbaticalfrom her career to nurture her
children.
And people have opinions.
But what if what if that'sbackwards, right?
What if the identity that we'regripping on to is preventing you
from an amazing experience?
(06:51):
Like my brother saying he didn'twant kids for a really long
time, and then to change hismind as he got older.
You know, he got more seriouswith his partner and then
realized, you know what?
This is something that I reallywant.
Now he's no spring chicken,right?
45 is, I wouldn't say it's old,but it is his firstborn.
(07:13):
So no one really knows if uhit's a one and done for him or
not, but we'll time will tell,right?
But it's this idea that you canchange your mind, you can hold
out on something, and then anexperience will come your way
(07:36):
and it will flip you on yourhead.
And are we going to see that asa weakness or as a power, as a
strength?
Now, the thing that no onereally talks about is, you know,
miracles in life.
And we think that miracles haveto be this like big dramatic
(07:58):
thing.
But what if the miracle is thatyou can actually change your
life by doing small, littleactions every single day?
Very similar to what I talkabout when we're talking about
strength training and how Ishare on many episodes of this
exact show that you are going tomake a massive transformation in
(08:24):
your life, but it's going to bethe culmination of hundreds of
thousands, if not millions, ofmicro steps over a long period
of time, a sustainabletransformation.
So maybe there will be timeswhen you're going to say to
(08:44):
yourself, oh wow, I was wrongabout that.
I thought I wanted this, but Ireally want that.
And you know, nobody's reallykeeping a spreadsheet of your
opinions.
Nobody's keeping tabs on whatyou want for yourself.
I think that more often thannot, we're worried about what
other people think, and otherpeople aren't really thinking
(09:07):
about you.
They're not thinking about me.
So maybe that will help you findsome comfort when you find
yourself trying to decide whichdirection you want to go in.
The reality is you know what youwant to do.
You just might be holding out,you might be holding yourself to
a standard that an older versionof you holds, not the person you
(09:30):
are today.
Now, thinking about acceptance,once you change your mind and
it's confusing to other people,that that doesn't matter.
Is it confusing to you?
Because when you walk inside ofa store or uh in someone's
(09:51):
house, you take your sunglassesoff, right?
So you're changing the lens withwhich you view life, and you are
allowed to do that for a lot ofthings, for everything.
You can decide to punishyourself through a
transformation, a process, ajourney, an education, or you
(10:15):
can accept the baseline, you canaccept where you're at at the
current moment, and then buildoff of that.
Because acceptance and surrenderis not necessarily giving up,
it's acceptance, it'sacknowledging what is while
(10:35):
still moving forward in that newdirection that you want to go
in.
Hopefully that makes sense.
A lot of people think surrenderis quitting, and it absolutely
is not.
It's about saying, hey, this iswhere I am right now, but I
don't have to stay here.
And that's a brave move.
(10:58):
But adjusting the lens that youview life through, or a moment
through, it's a practice, it'snot something you can just
switch on and off.
It's gonna feel uncomfortable.
It's kind of like establishing aboundary.
You have to practice it.
Learning a skill, you have topractice.
(11:20):
We see people creating artwork,music, or putting together
offers in the digital space oreven in the 3D world, and it
looks so easy, but but that'sbecause that person has put in
hundreds of thousands of hoursinto their craft.
(11:42):
You watch a ballet dancer, theymove across the floor with ease
and grace.
Inside of their shoes, they haveblisters.
Their toenails are probablycracked, maybe no toenails at
all on some of their toes,bleeding, band-aids, muslin.
That's uh muslin is like uh, itlooks almost like cotton, but
(12:06):
it's a little bit lighter, likemore airy.
And I believe it comes fromwool.
I might be wrong about that.
It's been a minute since I'vebeen in the ballet studio.
But the point is they make itlook easy, but it's the craft,
it's years of work.
And so just like a skill,sometimes you're going to ping
(12:31):
pong because you're gonna make adifferent choice for yourself
because maybe in your heartthat's what you want, but it's
confusing, and so you mightdefault back to your old ways.
So it takes practice.
Now, uh here's some takeawayitems.
This is gonna be a shorterepisode this week because well,
(12:54):
sometimes I just like to beconcise.
I want you to think about onebelief.
Take an inventory of somethingthat you keep repeating to
yourself, something that thatyou've been telling yourself for
so long that it feels like fact.
I want you to write it down andthen I want you to ask yourself,
(13:15):
is this still true about me?
Or is this who I used to be?
A belief, a question, and thensit within.
So I'll tell you for me, uh abelief I used to have for myself
was that I wanted to be thiswildly successful commercial
(13:39):
real estate property manager.
I wanted to be like a seniorregional manager or director and
have a team working for me.
And as I was climbing the ladderand making my way up, I realized
this is not what I want anymore.
(14:00):
I had been going through myhealth issues at the same time
as working on a big portfolio offinancial institutions in
northern New Jersey and RocklandCounty, New York.
And I realized I was killingmyself post-natural disaster
(14:22):
because I had over a hundredproperties I was responsible
for, and many of them sustaineddamage.
And so I was pushing myself outon the road at night, doing
inspections, writing up reports,trying to get work orders um
submitted and then inspected,and then closed out, get those
invoices paid.
(14:42):
And I stopped and said, so I'mworking harder to get a
promotion, to move up, to workharder, to get more
responsibility, to maybe getanother promotion, to move up
again, and maybe oversee peoplein a position that I used to
have.
And you know what?
(15:03):
It just didn't appeal to meanymore.
And when it came down to it andI was contemplating entrepreneur
life, I realized, oh my God, Idon't want to climb the
corporate ladder anymore.
I'm not interested in doingthat.
That is not something that Iwant for me.
And it was really challengingbecause I put in blood, sweat,
(15:29):
and tears to get to that pointin my career.
It wasn't my first career choiceeither.
It was the third time I hadalready made a change.
And now I was walking away fromall of that, a six-figure
income.
I had very little debt.
I owned my car outright.
(15:49):
I had three gym membershipsbecause I worked all over the
state in New Jersey.
So I had two gym memberships inNew Jersey because sometimes it
was just easier to work out nearwork and then drive home.
I also had a gym membership athome or in my hometown, and life
was great until it wasn't.
So I had to really sit down andask myself like, is this who I
(16:12):
am anymore?
Or do I have a bigger callingthat doesn't make sense to
anyone but me right now?
And I did.
It was time for me to leave topursue fitness, my passion.
Now, number two, this nexttakeaway.
I want you to think about whatis your second chance going to
be?
What is the thing you've beencircling?
What is that version of yourselfthat you have almost let
(16:36):
yourself become?
Consider naming it, considerwriting yourself a letter from
that perspective.
So it's five years from now.
You were brave, you did thething, you made the change, you
are embodying this new versionof yourself, and you're writing
a letter from the future toyourself today.
(16:56):
What would that look like?
What would you say in thatletter?
What would your title be?
How much money would you bemaking?
What kind of life would you beliving?
Where would you be living?
It's a little woo, but you knowme.
I always like to mix a lot ofthe practical with a lot of the
spiritual because that is how Iroll.
Now, this third thing, try thereframe exercise.
(17:21):
Maybe you had a hardconversation with somebody.
Maybe you missed a workout.
Maybe you had a tough day andyour diet is off.
And instead of telling yourselfyou failed, you fucked up, I
want you to tell yourself I haveinformation.
(17:41):
And then I want you to thinkabout what that information is
telling you and try to reframeit so that you know what the
next move is.
You see, when you're leveling upin your life, when you are
becoming someone or doingsomething, becoming something,
(18:03):
you have to think about whatkind of decisions you would make
from that vantage point.
What would that person do?
So I'll tell you right now thatif you want to improve your
quality of life in some sort ofway, let's say you want more
money in your life, which is apretty common desire, a practice
(18:24):
that you could incorporate wouldbe to stop going to four
different grocery stores to getthe best deals.
Because the wealthier version ofyou is going to value their time
more than snipping coupons andwasting gas money and time going
to four different grocery storesfor their sales, which we all
(18:47):
know are not really sales tobegin with.
So that's my little take.
I'll go through those actionitems again and I'll keep it a
little more concise.
So, number one, let's find thatbelief, something that's been
repeating in your head,something that you want to know
if it's still true aboutyourself, and question it.
(19:11):
Second thing you're gonna do isthink about what's that idea
that you've been circling?
What's the version of yourselfthat you want to become?
And consider naming it, and thenwrite yourself a letter from
that future version of yourself.
So maybe the person who you'regoing to become in five years
from now, writing a letter toyou today.
(19:31):
And then the third thing you'regoing to do this week is reframe
a situation.
Okay.
So maybe you missed a workout,you had a tough conversation,
you fucked something up.
Instead of beating yourself upabout it, instead of telling
yourself, you failed, you'regoing to tell yourself, I have
information.
(19:51):
And then you're going to examinewhat that information is and let
it guide you to the next move.
Because the only way you'reactually going to get to that
next level version of yourselfis if you start acting as if you
are already there.
Now, if the next version ofyourself in five years from now
(20:11):
is somebody who is abillionaire, I do not advise
spending all of your savingstoday on a luxury purse or a
vacation.
You don't have to be reckless,but could you could do something
small to treat yourself, or youcould save yourself some time.
(20:33):
Now, on a sidebar, and you knowthis wouldn't be a podcast
episode with me if I didn't goon a sidebar at least once.
When it comes to getting asolution, a wealthy person wants
to buy back their time.
So they don't necessarily wantto spend hours learning a skill
(20:57):
or doing something.
They will pay someone to do it,or they will pay someone to give
them back their time.
Okay.
So that's really where I wascoming from with the whole like
going to four different grocerystores because of their deals.
You're not valuing your timewhen you do that.
(21:19):
All right.
You are wasting your time,you're wasting your energy and
resources, you're also wastinggas.
So when you think about it thatway, you're not saving any money
at all.
But again, that is a totalsidebar.
And yes, it is my opinion, but Ithink if you actually did some
number crunching, you would seethat I'm probably right.
(21:42):
All right, so let's bring itback around because the whole
point of this episode is that achild that almost didn't exist
came into the world this week atthe time of this recording.
And the whole reason why he ishere is because one person said,
I changed my mind.
(22:05):
And that's it.
And that is a beautiful andpowerful thing.
And it didn't require a completelifestyle overhaul, it didn't
require any epic changes, it wasjust a conscious decision to
move in a different directionand to get the outcome that they
(22:26):
wanted.
So kudos to my brother.
The family is so excited, soblessed.
We are so happy to have thisbaby here.
And if you are still listening,thank you for your time and
attention.
I appreciate you being here eachand every week, bouncing back
and forth between all of thelovely topics.
(22:46):
But you know, this is life.
We can't always just talk aboutone thing.
And uh I'm I truly appreciateyou being here for me and
supporting me on this endeavor.
If this show resonates with you,I kindly ask that you share it
with somebody so that they canget into our community as well.
That is the best way to supportthe Unbreakable Mind and Body
(23:09):
podcast.
Thank you for being here, andI'll see you on the next one.
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