October 20, 2025 • 56 mins
In this heartfelt episode of Unspoken: Conversations with Candace, we welcome “Sunshine,” a poet, writer, and resilient survivor, who courageously shares her journey of childhood trauma, healing, and reclaiming her voice.
From moments of silence and shame to empowerment through poetry, therapy, and self-discovery, Sunshine’s story is a powerful reminder that even in the darkest times, there’s always light waiting to break through.
Sunshine opens up about:
- Her childhood experience of abuse, silence, and the weight of secrets.
- How poetry, journaling, and creativity became tools for survival and expression.
- The pivotal role of therapy, friendships, and cultural understanding in her healing.
- Choosing self-forgiveness over forgiving her abuser—and the freedom it brings.
- Breaking cycles of silence and redefining what thriving looks like.
- Practices like jiu-jitsu, weightlifting, and Reiki as sources of empowerment and strength.
- The importance of building safe communities and finding people who deserve to hear your story.
This moving conversation between Candice and Sunshine reveals the courage it takes to face the past, embrace healing, and walk forward as a thriver. It’s raw, real, and full of hope for anyone navigating their own healing journey.
⏱ Timestamps
00:00 – Welcome & Introduction to Sunshine
07:45 – Meeting at a Women’s Leadership Conference
15:30 – Childhood Trauma: Silence, Fear & Survival
28:50 – The Healing Journey Begins: Therapy & Friendship
39:20 – Finding Power in Poetry, Writing & Creativity
49:10 – Self-Forgiveness, Boundaries & Thriving Beyond Trauma
59:30 – Tools for Healing: Therapy, Jiu-Jitsu, Weightlifting & Reiki
01:08:15 – Candice on Forgiveness, Justice & Owning Your Story
01:20:00 – Gratitude, Growth & Circle Blessings
No matter where you are on your journey, Sunshine’s testimony is a reminder that healing is possible, self-forgiveness is powerful, and your voice has the power to inspire others.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:10):
Welcome to Unspoken Conversations with Candace,
where we talk openly about tabootopics in order to spark
difficult and uncomfortableconversations, where we allow a
safe place for anyone who hashad trauma to be heard.
Unspoken Conversations withCandace is about speaking your
(00:31):
truth by using your voicebecause you matter.
Welcome to another episode ofUnspoken Conversations with
Candace.
Today is a Sunday, and I alwayscall my Sundays spiritual
(00:54):
Sundays, and I'm in my podcaststudio with I always say the
word amazing on my podcast, butmy all my guests, they are
amazing.
They're inspirational, theychange my life, and then I also
like to feel like I change theirlives.
And they come into my studio inmy in-person studio here in
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and Iinvite them into my podcast
(01:16):
studio, which is held in mybasement.
We're sitting here in mybasement.
And when I invite my guests in,the beauty of my podcast is that
it is in a safe, secure, privatesetting to allow these guests to
really speak their unspokentruth.
And that's what I love about myunspoken conversational Canvas
(01:37):
podcast.
And so I'm your host, and I'm soexcited to be here today on this
Spiritual Sunday.
And so I just want to welcome,and she is going to be her name
for this episode is Sunshinebecause she is a ray of sunshine
in my life.
And it's, you know, with as weknow that this podcast is about
unspoken stories, right?
(01:57):
Where we talk about abuse, wetalk about child abuse,
molestation, we talk abouttrauma, you know, domestic
violence, you know, badrelationships.
We've talked about a lot ofepisodes on this podcast, and
we're here to kind of talk aboutanother story.
And that's the beauty of mypodcast.
I love that I can buildcommunity, build support for
other survivors, and I'll sayscratch that for other thrivers
(02:20):
to come into my studio to reallyshare their truth.
And so welcome, sunshine, to mystudio today.
SPEAKER_02 (02:28):
Hi, Candace.
Thank you for having me.
Um, this I feel like has been along time coming.
So I'm really happy and feelingblessed and grateful that we are
able to come together on thisspiritual Sunday.
I know it's unique today.
I get to introduce myself.
SPEAKER_00 (02:40):
Yes, I normally so let's talk about that.
Normally my guests are used tome, like I usually have my
guests prepare a bio, which shehas, Sunshine has an amazing
bio.
But as we were talking about, Isaid, you know what?
I want to do something differenttoday.
I want you to introduce yourselfto my audience because when I
was reading her bio, she is apoet.
Okay.
(03:01):
Now, this is the third poet I'vehad on my podcast, and they are
just such creative individualsthat I don't want to take away
from her spirit, this sunshinethat she's bringing into the
studio.
So I'm gonna let you, sunshine,to introduce yourself on my
podcast today.
So I'm giving you the mic.
SPEAKER_02 (03:17):
Okay.
So I call myself a student oflife.
I have a bachelor's degree inpsychology and I'm a master's in
public health.
I'm a coordinator of chaos in aworld where the only constant I
think is the cycle of entropyand entropy that we coexist in
together as humans.
I'm a writer, poet, who candescribe and capture the
(03:38):
feelings that we as humansstruggle to put into words.
I'm a grappler in my time, awayfrom my pen and paper, filled
journals, learning the art ofBrazilian jujitsu, and also I'm
currently weightlifting.
I've had to take a pause fromthat for health reasons, but
we'll be back on the mat soonerthan I know it, I know.
My day job is being a clinicalresearch coordinator in
(04:00):
Obstetrics and Gynecological.
My mission is to live up to themeaning of my first name.
It means the very first rays ofsunlight that shine from a
sunrise to help inspire othersto try to just keep rising
despite feeling down.
I like to be able to provideothers who've experienced
similar challenges andexperiences I experiences as I
(04:21):
have with tools to help overcomeand truly become thrivers,
because it's been a little bit,but I've finally feel like I've
reached a bit of a my thrivingchapter and journey and accepted
this the past my past.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Yes, and I think that's really how we became
connected.
Sunshine and I met, and and I'm,you know, I have to I'm looking
at my notes, everybody, becausein you know, when you have
someone that you've known andthat you met in person, right,
you want to call them by theirname, but I'm respecting your
privacy today.
And that's the beauty again ofthe podcast is that I get to do
that.
And I, you know, I've had otheranonymous guests come in because
(05:01):
they're not ready to fully, andthat's and that is completely
okay.
I would rather them come here asanonymous name and be able to
share their truth than not comeand share their truth at all.
So thank you for that.
So Sunshine and I met at a womenleadership conference in
healthcare, and I was thekeynote speaker, and the name
the conference title was IgniteYour Spark.
(05:22):
And so I kind of was sharing myhealthcare journey IT career,
and then I shared my personalstory with that, and that is how
we connected because I hadshared my story of being abused
as a child between the ages offive to fifteen, you know, with
family members who I loved andtrusted, being sexually molested
and assaulted at a young age,you know, as a child.
(05:45):
And so when I think about that,it it just, you know, and and
sharing that in a world in aroom full of some people I knew
and some people I didn't.
And sunshine, after I gave myspeech, I had my own table, came
up to me, and the rest ishistory.
We've been connected ever since.
And so I just want to againapplaud you for coming and
(06:06):
telling me at the table that youhad a story, that you would love
to meet me for coffee.
And we've met for coffee.
I feel like I've become amentor.
I feel like we are friends.
I feel like us spon be us bothbeing in the healthcare space,
I'm able to help coach you andbe there for you.
And so just thank you for beingso honest, so brave, so
(06:27):
courageous, and then just givingme the ability to be there for
you.
That really means a lot to me.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (06:36):
Of course.
Yeah, that day when I met you.
No, I was crying amidst peers,co-workers, and I mean, I some
of them I'm I became I've becomeclose with, so they know that
part of my story.
A couple others, they they theydon't.
So it was that when Candace wastelling her story on stage, it
was a it was strange, honestly,crying in front of my
(06:58):
co-workers.
I don't think that that'snormal, you know, these people
you see every day just workingat a computer talking about work
stressors, like going and seeingsomeone like cry about such a
traumatic story and hearing it.
And so I walked up to Candice,yeah, after hearing her story
(07:19):
because I just had a feelingthat I I needed to talk to her.
I'm someone that if I reallyenjoy an experience that someone
was able to help lead, I lovebeing able to go and approach
them and thank them and justconnect with them.
I'm a very people-orientedperson.
I've learned or gradually kindof chose to go to be.
(07:40):
And I got in line recognizingthat I wanted her book, and I
only had my debit card, Iremember at the time and Venvo
and cash over what was beingtaken.
So I honestly I was like waitingin line and about to pay for my
book and found that out.
And then this is kind of aunique little thing that
happened.
The woman behind me, she endedup paying for my book and her
(08:01):
book, and I almost startedcrying because I was like, oh my
god, like this is so so sweet.
I was already feeling veryemotional after hearing Candace
speak, and I was like, okay, no,like meant to be, like, it's
meant to be, and then I got outto my car and after hearing her
speak and sat with that book,and the sun was setting at the
(08:21):
time at the end of the day, andit was like the most beautiful,
like gorgeous, like sunset thatI'd seen in a long time.
And I just sat there and cried,like I sat there and cried
because I I knew that meetingcoming to the conference,
meeting Candace, that experiencewith that stranger, buying me
her book so I could have it as atool.
(08:42):
She didn't know me at all.
Like I said, complete stranger.
But it just the love like that Ifelt that day from people that I
had never met from and like metwith in my life.
It it's hard to explain thatfeeling of like you just know
that you're right there in theright place at the right time at
the right moment with the rightpeople.
Oh my god.
(09:03):
I'm sitting here getting alltearied up, teary-eyed because
you never know.
SPEAKER_00 (09:08):
So, like with me being the keynote, right?
It's a mental preparation to getup there to share your story.
I I am I'm still doing keynotespeaking.
So if anyone needs a keynote,hire me.
I will come in and I will bewith confidence and charisma and
I will do it with class, but Iwill also be authentic, real,
and raw and share my storybecause so many people need to
hear it.
(09:28):
Because look at how it haschanged, I believe, your life.
It shifted you, right?
Mentally, it shifted youemotionally, it put something in
you, and that is the truemeaning of when you share your
story and how you can impact andand literally change or save
someone's life, right?
And so thank you for lettingreminding me and letting me know
(09:50):
like it was so worth it.
Because, you know, me gettingready for the event, tabling for
the event, mentally preparingfor the event, making sure my
speech was right.
Oh my, you know, I get allnervous, I get all worked up
inside, sometimes even sofearful to like, am I doing,
should I do this?
You know, or again, I say theenemy trying to attack me from
not sharing my story, but man,to know what you felt and how it
(10:13):
made you feel, just it justbrings so much joy to my heart.
And these are like, you know,tears of like just happiness and
joy and thankfulness, like, youknow, for that moment.
And the way you described too,like what you felt love from a
complete stranger.
And I I completely even forgotthat that that's what happened,
and you know, and that I didn'taccept credit cards.
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
Yeah, I was like, oh no, gosh, maybe I'm not I won't
get the book today.
I'll find it on Amazon.
Like that's okay, I guess.
SPEAKER_00 (10:42):
I really was learning opportunity for Candace
Sanchez.
Make sure you have your littleSlape card.
And I think you know what's sofunny is I had a Samsung at the
time.
Now I'm an I oh now I'm aniPhone user, and you know, they
have those really cool toolsnow.
And I I so you know, processimprovement.
Thank you for that.
Making me re remind me of allthe things that I need to
improve on for business.
So yeah, but I'm glad you gotthe book and you felt love.
(11:05):
That that to me is amazing.
So as we kind of like now, youknow, so thank you for you know
coming to my table, talking withme, and sharing how the
conference and my keynote wasable to kind of help inspire you
to share your story.
Let's talk about your story.
Let's get into the meats andpotatoes and I call chitty stone
eggs or the the the the thegrit, right?
(11:26):
Getting into the grit and whenyou're in the pit, right?
When all that pain and stuff ishappening and having you have to
probably go back there.
I'm sure as I was speaking, youwere kind of going back thinking
about what you experienced.
So I'm gonna turn it overbecause now you get to really
speak your unspoken.
Thank you, Candace.
And take your time because Iknow you know it can be hard to
share, but you have we we havebeen preparing for this episode,
(11:50):
I think, for at least a year anda half.
SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
At least a year and a half.
Like I said, I feel like now isthe time more than any.
We wanted to do it earlier, buthonestly, I don't think that I
was completely ready when we hadoriginally thought about
recording.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
So yes, let's let's start with you know, maybe how
old you were, what had happened.
I mean, again, we're not here todisclose names, but whatever
you're comfortable with sharingwith that timeline of that
journey and and what you wentthrough.
Because usually it's by someonewe love or trust.
You know, it's not always thestrangers that we're taught,
right?
It's usually our family membersor friends.
(12:24):
So let's talk about that.
SPEAKER_02 (12:26):
So for me, it was between the ages of I would say
five and ten or twelve,honestly.
I mean, you kind of it's hard toput a timeline to, I feel like
things like that that happenedto you in the past.
It's something that I had put tothe back of my mind for so long
that I never really criticallythought about okay, it started
(12:46):
at this time, these experiences,and ended at around this time of
my life.
I was about that that old.
Like I it was not something thatI honestly bookmarked.
SPEAKER_00 (12:57):
And it's okay to say that, to call that out because
when I talk about timeline, youmay or may not remember certain
things, and that's what traumadoes to you.
You know, like those memorieseither you bury them so hard
because they're too painful, butthen you know that something
happened, right?
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So for me, I mean my abuser wasmy older cousin that had just
come from not being from thiscountry, we'll say, and they
they c he he and his family cameto stay with my family till they
got on their feet, basically.
So it was a daily almost at thattime when I was young that
(13:35):
things would happen.
Like basically, you know, Ithought he's older, like in in
my culture, I'm biracial, and inone of my cultures, I it's like
a big thing to respect yourelders, people that are older
than you, and just to you know,not question too much.
I was already a bit shy to beginwith as a child.
I pretty my mom she describesthat I I pretty much like didn't
(13:59):
trouble them too much.
I didn't I kind of did what Iwas told, pretty obedient kid,
honestly.
So this cousin, like we'd hangout as kids, and it was my older
brother at the time too, and itwas just like he would threaten
to stop talking to me if Ididn't like go along with what
(14:20):
he wanted me to do with him.
And I in my brain at that time,the only thing I can remember is
thinking, if I don't do what hesays I should do, then the
adults are gonna notice thatsomething's up between us, and I
didn't want them to think thatthere was anything wrong with me
going on.
(14:41):
It felt like it was a stressfultime for my parents and their
family too, and so I just didn'twant to add another burden to
something that was alreadyfeeling like a stressful time.
Even at five years old, I couldrecognize it wasn't something
that was normal for my familyand I to go through and be able
to have their family living withus in this small apartment.
(15:05):
And I, yeah, like I said, I justwanted to kind of not cause any
kind of trouble.
So I did what he said so that noone could notice that I was
acting strange or weird or therewas something s weird basically
going on between the kids as wewere hanging out and like the
adults were figuring outwhatever they needed to when
like we were together to havethem move, or I don't know.
(15:28):
You know, I like I said, I thedetails are very hard to parse
out.
SPEAKER_00 (15:33):
Um and I think it's not really like the details
important, not important, right?
Like it just the fact that ithappened, you know.
So like I see you, I hear you, Ibelieve you.
That's what needs to be saidhere, right?
Because a lot of times we thinkit's our fault, right?
We blame ourselves, we carry theshame, the fear, the guilt.
And so how old was your cousin?
(15:54):
My cousin was probably at leastlike six or seven years older.
Older.
So if you were five, so he plusso he was 11 or 12.
SPEAKER_02 (16:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:02):
Okay.
Yeah.
And so, like, when you thinkabout you know, child on child,
like then you just qu you wantyou wonder, right?
Like, what happened to him?
What was going on?
What did someone do that to him?
Because he was a child himself.
SPEAKER_02 (16:11):
Right.
I don't know.
All I heard was that I know thathe was not he doesn't seem to
have his head screwed on quitestraight, honestly, even from a
kid at a kid's at that age.
Kind of a little bit of atroublemaker from from the
start.
And like I said, I was young, Iwas a baby, you know.
Like I was like, oh, these aremy cousins from from this
(16:32):
country, like I should trustthem, like they're my dad
sisters, kids, you know, they'refine.
Like, you know, didn't thinkanything of it.
And then I like remember hewould pull me aside, and we'd
there would be a room that wouldbe a bedroom or something, and
we'd just go and he'd make me dothings to him, and I would like
not even be thinking, and it waslike a like experience that like
(16:57):
you're not he don't feel likeyou're in your body.
SPEAKER_00 (17:00):
An out-of-body experience.
SPEAKER_02 (17:01):
You kind of don't really feel like you're in your
body.
I felt like I had no control.
Um, I felt like it was somethinglike that I just had to go along
with because I didn't want, likeI said, anyone to notice that
there was something likedifferent going on with the
kids, that there was like maybesomething weird going on with
(17:22):
the kids.
SPEAKER_00 (17:22):
You didn't want to cause any waves.
SPEAKER_02 (17:24):
No, I didn't want to cause any waves, even at a
five-year-old.
Like being five years old, I wasaware that I didn't want to
cause waves.
SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:32):
Which is wild.
SPEAKER_00 (17:33):
How could you know that as a kid?
Isn't that crazy?
I I remember the same thing.
So, what my abuser used to tellme was that if I told my mom or
I told anybody that my mom wouldhave a nervous breakdown and she
would have to be taken away andI would be stuck with him
anyways.
So, like he led me to believe,yeah, put fear in me,
(17:55):
intimidated me, threatened me.
So, and you know, when we get totalking about the book, those
were some of the things, youknow, again, manipulation and
just you know, putting the fearin me.
Yeah, I was afraid.
And that's what they do is theycondition us to be afraid of
them and that we better just dowhat they say.
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (18:15):
Even though, like, I like and it's I just I even to
this day, I'm like, why didn't Istop myself?
You know, I'm upset sometimeswith myself that I went along, I
went and did the things and Idid, you know, it's weird
because you are a kid, you areliterally a kid at that time,
and to be thinking these thingslike no, you should have known
(18:37):
better is what I thought.
SPEAKER_00 (18:39):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (18:40):
And I just think that that's unfair now.
I recognize now that that isn'tan unfair thing for a child to
have to think that like this iswhat's like to to have to
critically think at that matureof a level of like no, this is
wrong.
I literally was a baby fiveyears old when things started
(19:02):
happening to me.
And so then that obviously canuh those kinds of experiences
consistently happen happening toyou, obviously it it alters your
mental processing and the wayyou choose to make decisions and
the way that emotions show up inyour body and the way you
respond to those emotions, likeit was a lot, and then I I just
(19:25):
knew that I I hated seeing them.
Whenever we had they had movedout.
I like obviously I'm like, Idon't want to deal with them.
I I want them to be gone, like,and I couldn't tell anyone that
like I wish that he was notthere when we ever we visited,
and gradually I'm glad he uh hehe faded out of my life as my
(19:46):
parents like recognized thatit's not really a fun time um
honestly interacting as withthat family those family
members.
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
It was more drama filled than anything.
So your parents then maybe haddiscernment.
Did they did they pick up maybeon your energy levels, or was it
just that things weren't workingout when you guys got together?
So just kind of things weresevered or ties kind of just
cut?
SPEAKER_02 (20:10):
See things kind of just my I I feel like love at a
distance was the rule.
Like, okay, like you can likelove them, but like at a
distance that we don't have toget too close to them.
Like it's perfect that you canhave people that you love, but
uh from afar kind of thing.
Gradually is like I said, butbecause every other interaction
(20:34):
seems to seem to be drama-filledand not, you know, you know, in
a good way, just in general.
So like we just kind of theyended up fading, like, and just
interacting primarily with myaunt and my uncle as they're
they got older.
Um and that's the same.
SPEAKER_00 (20:49):
So they still live here in the US, or did they oh
they still live here?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
When was the last time that youhad any interaction, or like how
many years has it been?
Because you know, you don't haveto disclose your age, but how
many years has it been givingyou time to be on this healing
journey?
SPEAKER_02 (21:05):
How many years has it been since I saw my abuser?
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Your abuser.
SPEAKER_02 (21:08):
I mean, I think it's been like six years.
Six years, five or six years.
SPEAKER_00 (21:13):
But it and again, just it was just more curiosity
than anything.
But like, let's, you know, youreally as far as a transition
point, because I think this is agood time to kind of talk about
you you kind of talked about howthat impacts you when you're
carrying the load of that secretand you're carrying the load of
having to keep that within, thatdoes something, right?
When there's a book out therecalled Your Body Keeps Gore,
(21:34):
right?
And so we have talked a littlebit about our bodies and and the
traumas that you you bury deepinside.
And I think when you came tothat table and you disclosed and
you we started meeting and youstarted sharing your story, the
weight just kind of like waslifted off.
Like you just kind of felt alittle bit more free, a little
bit less shame, a little bitless blame, a little bit, you
know, that fear kind of wasstarting to fade because you're
(21:56):
like, I'm not the only one.
This I wasn't the only one thatthis happened to.
This seems to be what happens insome families, right?
And and and abuse is abuse, itdoesn't discriminate all
backgrounds, all cultures, youknow, all of that.
And so let's talk a little bitabout like that healing journey
for you and what you've done tokind of get on that journey to
(22:16):
heal from the inside out.
SPEAKER_02 (22:18):
So I would say my healing journey really, really
started with me accepting thatthat is my past, it is a part of
who I am in honestly when Istarted undergrad, and because
that's when I really madefriends with people that I
thought are my people, like thatI can trust.
(22:40):
Where I went to school, I didn'tgraduate with any best friends.
I'm not friends with anyone fromhigh school.
I never felt connected.
I never feel like I couldconnect to anybody like as deep
as I would like to.
My friendships, I love.
I cherish my friendships.
And in grade school, people Ifeel like didn't understand how
much I really love them.
I I connect with them.
(23:00):
And if I choose you to be myfriend, you are my friend.
And I will be close and in yourspace as much as as you allow
because like I just I adore youand care about you that much.
And if you can't handle thatlike level of love, then not my
friends.
So, anyways, and you're not mypeople.
You're not my people.
So when I was an undergrad,finally started making those
(23:21):
kinds of friendships andallowing people, like trusting
people again, essentially, to bein my life as a friend, and they
really allowed me to feelcomfortable like opening up
because I feel like I had areputation basically of being,
yeah, walking ray of likesunshine on campus and all that
knew me, and let them, myfriends, know that even though
(23:44):
you know I come across this way,this is something that's in my
past that is as like the dark asbright as I am, I couldn't be as
bright as I am with this withoutthe darkness that I feel like I
am carrying in my past.
And it was beautiful the way Ifelt, just so heard for the
first time of my life about whatI had gone through, that things
(24:06):
I had never ever verbalized inmy entire life.
I think I started, I like maybewrote about what had happened to
me on pieces of paper when I wasin high school, and then I tried
to just throw them away in thegarbage can and see if that was
cathartic at all.
And honestly, it was so scary.
I remember writing on thosepieces of paper because I'm
like, oh my gosh, who what ifone of my family members sees
(24:28):
this?
I I remember I think I likewrite it wrote things down and
then handled those pieces ofpaper and threw them in the
garbage and took it out myselfjust so that no one in my family
like could actually find outthat that something that Kirin
Kieran wrote, you know.
And like so honestly, it justthat that was one of the moments
and then undergrad, and then Iwent to my first therapy session
(24:51):
in undergrad after disclosingdisclosing to my friends that
this is what happened to mebecause they recommended, like,
hey, maybe you should talk tosomeone about it.
They weren't like pushy aboutit, but they said, I mean,
therapy might help if youhaven't tried going to therapy
yet.
And so I booked an appointmentwith our campus therapist who
was overbooked, over busy, so Icouldn't get an appointment for
(25:11):
like two or three months.
Wait, so what year was that?
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
Because we're still overbooked.
Yeah.
You know, mental health hasreally come to the forefront,
especially since 2020, right?
The pandemic.
But man, that has been prettyconstant.
So I'm glad that you called thatout.
SPEAKER_02 (25:26):
It was let me think.
Oh gosh, I think maybe it was2020.
SPEAKER_00 (25:30):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (25:30):
So when things on hang on, not 2020.
That was when I was in gradschool.
I apologize.
No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00 (25:36):
Again, it's it's it's just more of the timeline
of understanding my journey.
Your journey, but then when Ithink about like therapy today,
like it's still hard to get inright and it was still hard back
then in those years.
So if even if it was prior to2020, that's still true today.
And and now we're in 2024.
That that's just crazy.
SPEAKER_02 (25:52):
I think it was 2015 or 2016, honestly, when I went
and I was trying to see atherapist on campus.
SPEAKER_00 (26:01):
But I'm so glad that you took that step.
Yeah, it was and that yourfriends, your people encouraged
you to do that because I thinkthat's huge.
I think all survivors, you know,if you're out there and you're
listening and you know, you'rehearing the story and it and and
it's touching your heart, andyou're like, you know, wow, if
these two individuals can go getprofessional help, like you can
go get professional help too.
(26:21):
Find you know, those therapistsin your community, in your area.
Um, yes, it may take a long timeto get in, but there's so many
support groups also, like, youknow, the National Alliance for
Mental Illness, NAMI, there'schapters, every state has one.
And so they offer free supportgroups for survivors to come in
and build community and talkabout their healing journey.
(26:42):
So I'm so glad that you went andgot professional therapy.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (26:47):
Yeah, I know.
And then I realized though, likeI met with that therapist and I
think I met with her twice,maybe three times tops, but I
didn't really feel like honestlyan emotional connection with
her, even though I had sharedthings that were super emotional
and deep.
And so then that's when Irecognized just from like my
first therapy experience, thatit's okay, like if you don't
like the first person that yougo and see and that you try to
(27:10):
go and talk to about yourjourney.
Like, you really have to feellike you can trust that person,
that that person is helpful toyou, that they really, really
understand you.
Being a woman that'smulticultural or biracial, I
felt like it was very importantthen fast-forwarding to who I'm
currently seeing as my therapistfor the last three years.
She's someone that is of thesame like cultural or similar
(27:33):
cultural background as I am.
And so I, though knew after thatexperience in undergrad, when I
started my search in grad schoolfor a new therapist, an actual
therapist, to see consistentlyand talk about my journey, not
from just only from my past, butmy day-to-day just because I
have X, I would say my anxietyis I'm an anxious person.
(27:56):
I am a very anxious person.
It it alters the way I interactmy with my and my friendships
and my romantic relationships,like everything is impacted by
my anxiety.
SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
So you're dropping truth bombs right now, which we
can I'm not kidding.
I still struggle.
I am 53 years old, sunshine.
I'm 53, and I still I you know Ididn't even know it was anxiety
until the pandemic.
I never even acknowledged that Ihad anxiety.
I probably had my whole life,but because I was a workaholic,
which is another which isanother trauma response, I just
(28:31):
made myself busy all of the timeand I never had downtime for
myself.
And you know what?
That's so I didn't have to sitin the pit, didn't have to sit
in the the bottom of thatugliness, didn't have to sit in
that dark.
I just always stayed busy, andthat wasn't healthy either.
SPEAKER_02 (28:46):
Yes, I overextended myself when I was an undergrad.
Girl, I was a part of it.
I mean, we were just talkingabout how booked we can put into
a like part of a week week, awork week.
Yes.
We'll book ourselves.
And right now I'm in a state ofmind where I'm like, I can't do
that.
I know I shouldn't do that.
I need to recognize when tocarve out time just for myself,
even though I feel like I am avery social person.
(29:08):
I love being with my people,like friends and family.
And so, but I still need thattime to, you know, to journal,
to read, to sit on the couch,watch my shows, drink my tea.
I love, and so yeah, no, beingover that's definitely it.
I don't know where I was.
SPEAKER_00 (29:26):
I we were talking about like just the the
different anxiety, you know,yeah, anxiety that you have in
your relationship.
Like that's the those are thosePTSD things, those responses
that occur within someone who'sbeen abused, been through the
sexual child molestation.
I mean, we're just gonna call itfor what it is, right?
Yes, by those that we loved andtrusted that we were supposed to
(29:47):
be safe with and we weren't safewith.
SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (29:49):
And you know, and then you know, we talked about
what what has helped you.
You were talking about you werewriting things down, you were
throwing it away, you were youwere becoming a, you know, you
were.
Journaling, basically, you werewriting things down.
And you talked in your bio aboutbeing a writing poetry, right?
And the written form, thewritten word.
And I think that is verytherapeutic.
SPEAKER_02 (30:09):
It is.
SPEAKER_00 (30:10):
And even seeing you prepare for today.
And I'm sure you talked about itwith your therapist, how you
were going to be on a podcastand how you were going to share
your story.
And and you had pages and pagesof things you're writing down.
But that was to prepare youmentally, physically,
emotionally, spiritually, allthe things.
Because that's when you write itdown and you see it, because I
went through that when I waswriting my book, right?
(30:32):
You write it down, you see it,you type it, you edit it, and
you know, the whole audiobookthing, I'm still in process with
that.
That's even harder when you'resaying the words yourself and
saying this is your freakingstory.
Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_02 (30:45):
This is my this was my life.
What?
It's hard to like like acceptthat.
Like I said, it was this part ofmy life, like I pushed it back
for so long, and it wasn't untilI was about 20, 21 or so that
you know I was really ready toaccept that this is what
happened to me in my past.
(31:05):
But despite that, I was able tolike I made it a goal to stay
busy, to get focused on thingsthat I loved in my life.
Writing, I started writing whatis one of the things that I love
to take control of my lifebecause of like everything else,
kind of sometimes feeling reallyout of control.
Um, and so I took to writingwhen I was in sixth grade.
(31:27):
My teacher at the time, ourhomeroom teacher, however you
want to call it, she recognizedmy knack for poetry when we had
a poetry unit for language arts,and actually got me my first
journal.
And it was really nice, likehardcover journal.
I thought it was really sweet,but she's like, You need to
write, like basically keepwriting because you're gonna be
(31:47):
on to something, you know, anddon't stop.
And so from there I didforensics in high school.
I wrote my own poems, and witheach year that I did perform
pieces, and I was one of thefirst students and only students
at my grade high school inforensics to go and write my own
poetry and actually do well,exceed and get like gold at
(32:08):
state poetry.
SPEAKER_00 (32:10):
Look at that.
I was one of the first.
Let me just say kudos to thatteacher.
Thank you.
You know, for believing in you,seeing something in you, and
putting planting that seed.
Yes.
Oh my god, sunshine.
That was amazing.
SPEAKER_02 (32:22):
I don't know where I would have been, honestly,
because I've always beendrawing.
I love drawing and painting,arts, anything that I can do on
my own, just to like I said, tofeel like I have some sort of
control again in my life.
Being able to write poetry, youare I feel like complete freedom
and like there's no judgment atall with myself.
Um, and so that's why I reallyhave leaned on poetry.
(32:45):
And it's cheap.
You just need a piece of paperand some pen, uh whatever
writing utensil you want to use,a crayon at the time, whatever's
around you, and you can writedown your lines that you have
going through your head.
At least that's kind of whathappens to me.
Or I do type sometimes on myphone.
Sometimes it feels I honestlyfeel it, it's more organic for
me to actually have a piece ofpaper and a pen instead.
(33:08):
But whatever, you know, it Ihave in the moment.
I try if I have something on mybrain that I need to like get
out, I will work on making sureit gets down and out.
Um, so that's one of my toolsI've used.
Going to therapy consistentlywith my current therapist has
been about three years or so.
She is someone I looked up and Iwanted someone of like I put in
the keywords of like someone ofmy cultural background, someone
(33:31):
from the area I preferred, andthen someone that specialized in
sexual abuse or trauma.
Um and I felt like I found afour-relief clover four-leaf
clover when I found her becauseshe hit all those points and she
was not gonna make me feel likeI was like like therapy is not
cheap.
It is expensive, and so herprice is also amazing, you know?
(33:55):
So it was like I couldn'tbelieve how lucky I felt.
And she offers therapy virtuallyas well instead of in person,
which is a big game changer forme because it's still something
Was it because of that busyschedule?
Sort of, yeah.
Now as I'm old, like and livingon my own, but at the time I was
still kind of I was living in myfamily after graduating, and I
(34:16):
just felt like I needed to dothis for myself, and I didn't
really feel like my family wouldcompletely understand that I
needed to go to therapyculturally, like it's mental
health.
Yep, that is so true.
I don't know how else to say islike new as a thing that needs
to be addressed.
It like going for a physicalhealth doctoral appointment
(34:37):
appointment.
Your your brain needs that too,and that's something that's
new-ish to my in the culturethat I'm from and one of my
cultures.
SPEAKER_00 (34:45):
That's kind of like it in my culture, being
Hispanic, Latino,Mexican-American.
Same thing.
You know, I was told whathappens in this house stays in
this house, right?
You don't air out your dirtylaundry, nobody needs to know
our business.
Like, you know, so I just waslike, you know, holding that,
like I said, that secret insideand carrying the weight of all
of that.
And and that's that's not a goodthing to do, you know.
(35:09):
And so I get it, I get it.
So you've been on your healingjourney, you have a therapist,
you're seeing the therapist now.
You kind of talked about thepoints of you know how it has
affected you in relationships,you know, personal,
professional, but you haveovercome.
You know, you are triumph.
You are triumphant, and you arean overcomer, and you are
(35:32):
achieving, and you are, youknow, a lot of times I think
sometimes we go from that victimmentality to the survivor
mentality, right?
Dirbal on the wheel, to nowthriving.
And I see you thriving,sunshine.
I see you, you know, you are aray of sunshine.
You walk in a room and you havethat energy, and you know, I
believe it was by divine designthat our paths crossed.
(35:53):
I believe it was divine design.
You know, I say God appointed meto, you know, he equipped me to
be able to share my story, becourageous and brave, and that's
what you're doing today.
And I'm so proud of you.
I want to transition, you know,to the book, because I know you
read the book, and so I I'mgonna do a plug here for the
book.
So please go and support me,Unspoken by Candace Sanchez.
(36:14):
It's available on Amazon.
You can also visit my website atdot candassanchez.com.
I do have my own store, my ownshop store.
So you could buy a a signed copydirectly from me and I would
ship it to you no matter whereyou are in the US of A or even
over states.
You can buy the you the Audiblesoon coming, so stay tuned for
the Audible.
But anytime you purchase from mystore or you purchase from
(36:36):
Amazon, I give back in a bigway.
I help so many survivorcommunities and groups.
I give back to a localorganization here in Racine,
Wisconsin, which was my hometownwhere I grew up, Belief
Survivors Incorporated.
I'm the board president now.
I was appointed president inAugust of 2024.
So I'm leading that organizationand they have sexual assault
services as well as they try tohelp prevent child abuse and
(36:58):
neglect by going into the schoolsystems and educating
educational, you know, this theteachers as well as the
students, which I think is agreat program to have.
Um, so yeah, please go supportme, purchase a copy of the book.
Make sure you're following thepodcast.
You know, I'm in my fourthseason.
I've kind of taken a pause ondropping episodes, but I'm gonna
be resuming that in 2025.
When we talk about busyschedule, life happens, things
(37:20):
happen, you know, everything forcost of living has gone up.
So it's kind of delayed me alittle bit, but I'm gonna keep
pushing forward because theseepisodes are so key and vital to
people's healing.
So thank you again, Sunshine,for being here.
But let's shift to the book.
I plugged the book.
How when read when you werereading the book, did you
struggle reading the book?
SPEAKER_02 (37:39):
I did struggle reading the book.
SPEAKER_00 (37:40):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (37:41):
It's a book that's not that long when you'll find
out when you get your own copy.
It's really not a thick book atall.
It's a short read, but it's ashort read.
SPEAKER_00 (37:49):
Quick and short read.
SPEAKER_02 (37:50):
And it gets to the point.
It gets to the point.
And but no, I I I had a hardtime reading it because I
resonated with it.
And like when I read eachchapter, there was something
from each chapter that I'm like,I know what that feels like, and
it sucks.
It sucks.
And I I you know it's not acomfy feeling to feel those
(38:11):
feelings of suck and discomfortand out of control feeling, you
know, in those in like thosemoments.
But I'm glad I was able tofinish it.
SPEAKER_00 (38:22):
And and she did have my cell phone number, and I told
her, I said, if you have troublereading this book and you need
to ask me questions or you justare struggling, call me, text
me.
And there were times she textedme, she said, I got as far as
chapter and I couldn't, I had toput it down.
And then she was like, I finallygot through the next whatever
(38:45):
chapters.
And I, you know, the fact thatyou took the pause, you had to
process, and that's what healingis all about.
It's about trusting the process.
Healing is a lifelong journey.
You are in your 30s.
No.
No, you are in your your early20s.
(39:06):
Early 20s now.
She's early 20s.
See, she's very mature for herage.
She has a lot of wisdom.
So I did not mean that in anegative light.
No, completely positive lightbecause she is a ray of sunshine
and because she's got so muchwisdom.
I mean, if you hear thisepisode, you hear her dropping a
lot of truth bombs.
She's an educated, smart,poetic, creative, artistic, been
(39:28):
on our healing journey.
She knows that these feelings.
And when she read my book, shefelt it all.
And that's the beauty of it.
I'm, you know, 53 and I'm stillhealing.
So if you're listening andyou're still healing, or you're
just starting, or you're in themiddle, doesn't matter where you
are on your healing journey.
You will be a thriver becauseyou get up and you show up every
(39:51):
single day.
The fact that we're still here,because I wanted to commit
suicide at 15.
I thought I was pregnant by myabuser.
So yeah, bam! Like that was thescariest thing.
And I did was not gonna havethis man's child, no freaking
way.
And I'm saying that out loudbecause that's what's in my
book.
And and honestly, my book wasthe surface, Sunshine.
(40:13):
You know, there's been so muchthat's happened after this book
was published in November of2020.
Again, all the encounters, allthe survivors, all the people
that I've talked to, malesurvivors, because it just
doesn't happen to women, it alsohappens to men.
And I dedicated my whole seasonthree of my podcast to male
survivors because men usuallyare the perpetrators, but they
(40:34):
are also offended.
They also get taken advantage ofand they get hurt, and and they
carry the same shame, blame, andfear that we we we carry as
women.
SPEAKER_02 (40:43):
Right.
I feel like it could be harder.
It's harder for them to telltheir story just because if they
recognize themselves as likeheterosexual, straight like
males, they're you know, societykind of puts this impression on
them that they need to be strongand like unbeatable and you
know, macho a little bit, andlike depending on what what
(41:03):
ethnicity or culture they are,yeah.
That macho comes through evenstronger and it's pushed on them
even more, you know, to be justI I don't have problems.
No, I I can handle everything.
I don't need to, I don't cry,that kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00 (41:20):
You know, can we talk about?
So in the book, I know youmentioned as you were going
through chapters, did you writenotes down or questions down or
anything that like really you'relike Candice?
I really want to talk about thispart in the book.
Because one thing I do I wrotedown as you were talking and
telling your story.
Where are you with forgiveness?
And I asked that for a couplereasons.
So let me let me talk about itso you can think about it.
(41:42):
There's a chapter in my bookcalled Forgive, Never Forget.
I have forgiven my abusers.
It was an uncle and astepfather, which you know, I
say those titles out of respectjust because that's who they
were identifiable in my in myfamily, right?
But they were both my abusers,and I forgave them because I
realized what forgiveness reallydoes.
(42:02):
I had to forgive myself becauseI carried this weight of what
they did to me for too long, andI'm done.
I'm done carrying that.
I when that book came out, I wasfree of the shame, the blame,
and the guilt.
I was done.
I not owning that, so it was notmy fault.
I didn't ask for this to happen.
I didn't didn't deserve for thisto happen to me.
It happened.
I own it, I accept it, and Ihave forgiven because
(42:27):
ultimately, you know, I went andtook the training to be a true
advocate in the sexual assaultsurvivor space.
So now I'm an advocate answeringthe crisis hotline.
I'm on the other side.
And going through that training,I realized the big piece is
accountability.
I needed to hold these menaccountable for what they did to
me.
And just recently, within thelast year, I have filed charges
(42:49):
against both of them.
Now, whether or not, again, somepeople get justice, some people
do not, I don't care what thatoutcome is.
The fact that I did that, thefact that I went in and I filed
a report is enough for me.
If they the DA or it doesn't goto process, they don't get
prosecuted.
I did my duty of what I shouldhave done a long time ago.
And I lived in that regret for along time, but I don't have to
(43:11):
carry that anymore.
So forgiveness, just know thatthere is a power in the
forgiveness aspect.
And so in every survivor,because people listening are
like, I'm never gonna and that'sfine if that's what you choose
now, but I'm telling you, whenyou do forgive, it does
something to you on the inside,it just kind of lets you live in
(43:32):
a different type of way.
Yes, because when you canforgive that person, because
again, when I think about whathappened I think about what did
they what happened to them thatI don't know about, right?
Because hurt people hurt peopleand healed people help heal
people, and so I don't know ifthey were hurt, and if they
were, gosh, I hope they havefound their healing, you know.
(43:54):
So where are you on thatforgiveness?
SPEAKER_02 (43:57):
I honestly don't think I'm ever gonna forgive
this person.
Okay, because I don't care.
He no, I just I don't care.
I really think it was shittywhat he did.
He should have known better.
I don't care what he's gonethrough.
I've gone through whatever, andI don't treat people like shit.
I don't I carry myself with somuch respect for other people.
(44:18):
If they show me respect, theywill get that respect back, you
know, and I've even overextendedmyself too.
It's been something that I thinkit's like a response where I'll
care too much about someone andthey'll repeatedly show me maybe
less effort than what I actuallyam putting in, and I'll still
respect them, I'll still givethem the benefit of the doubt.
(44:38):
So I'm like, if I could do it,why couldn't he have done it?
He was older than I was.
It's stupid to me.
I've forgiven myself insteadbecause I think that's more
worth it.
And for me at this point in mylife, is that I've forgiven
myself.
It's still a daily reminder.
(44:59):
I I I need to remind myselfdaily that I forgive myself.
I forgive myself because like Isaid, I felt like even though I
was when things were happeningto me, I was a baby five years
old, and on to and then after,you know, like it was something
that I honestly it wasn't fairto me.
(45:20):
I shouldn't have had tocritically think that this is
something that's wrong.
This is something I'm still Iwas still learning the world
around me.
Like I was told that this is aperson that I I could I was
supposed to be able to trust,and that's what I took.
And then they abused that trust.
So that I and so then instead oflike looking at the person and
(45:42):
forgiving them, I've recognizedkarma instead is the word that
comes to mind that they are notgetting my my forgiveness,
they're getting the universe'skarma for what they did to me at
that age.
Because currently in life, theyare last thing I heard about
them, they're not in a reallygreat spot in life.
(46:03):
Things just kind of went toshits to pieces every corn
corner, they kind of like theturn they took.
And I didn't have to do anythingabout it.
I I didn't have to do anything,right?
Like the universe took care ofme, me in that sense, and took
care of him to show him lessonsthat he needed to learn, is all
(46:28):
I'm gonna say.
And so I believe that no matterwhat you go through, there's
something that the universe willdo and protect you.
The spiritual power above thatwhichever power you believe in.
I think it's very important tobelieve in something and not
(46:49):
nothing.
Because like there's things thatare happening every day, and
like things that have happenedto me that I just can't explain
that are so beautiful you can'teven plan things out, and then
you recognize there's somethingelse going on here.
Meeting with Candace, there wassomething else going on I
couldn't control.
I had no idea that it would havebeen so perfect the way that we
(47:11):
met, and the way I was able tojust continue learning from her
and connecting with her.
So, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:18):
Yeah, that's thank you for sharing where you were
on the forgiveness.
And it's always different foreverybody.
And so I just thank you forbeing very real and authentic
and where you are in that space.
That that means a lot.
So as we begin to kind of wrapup, I just want to again just
thank you for being here today.
And I love to close out, youknow, a lot of the topics, you
know, are very heavy.
This is a heavy podcast, butit's a healing, empowering,
(47:41):
inspirational.
Like, look at how far you'vecome.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so proud of you.
So let's talk about the lastchapter of my book was called
Full Circle Blessings.
And so where you are today inlife, right where we are today
in life, I want to know what youare most grateful for.
SPEAKER_02 (47:57):
I'm grateful for the people that I've met on my
journey that I've been there andsupportive and things and people
that I didn't anticipate beingin my corner, being there in my
corner.
And I'm most thankful, andanother thing I'm thankful for
is being able to recognize whatI need in order to help myself
grow from trauma and somethingso dark and heavy.
(48:20):
I recognize like I need to beable to feel like I'm physically
strong and mentally strong.
I made it goals to, you know, goand get my degrees and to go and
like go and continue writing.
And then I got intoweightlifting when I was an
undergrad because I wanted tofeel physically strong.
I didn't want to be, you know,weak.
(48:44):
And weightlifting it's somethingthat I feel like breaks
stereotypes, which I love doing.
I found out being one of theonly women in that gym over on
the weightlifting side, and thengoing and then pursuing martial
arts.
I like started that journey afew years ago, almost like three
years ago, um, or so.
I started like learning tokickbox and then boxing, and
(49:07):
then I had a friend and she'slike, Hey, you want to try
jujitsu?
There's a women's only class.
And I was like, I don't know ifI really want to do that.
People get up in your personalspace and having my trauma.
Like, I don't really know if Ifeel comfortable going and doing
that.
Um, and she's like, you know,just give the women's class a
try.
I get it.
She's someone that knows mystory as well.
And she's like, I do it.
(49:29):
She's gone through some somethings also as as well.
And so she's like, I'm gonna doit.
Just join me, you know.
And then if you don't like it,that's fine.
But, you know, at least try,basically.
And I'm like, okay, I can dothat.
I can try.
I don't like being backing downfrom things that I know could
potentially help me, you know,and that there's only maybe like
(49:50):
a win-win in I just don't knowit because I might feel a little
bit anxious about it.
I don't want to let that stopme.
So I tried.
I did a few classes, a women'sclass, and I recognize, I'm
like, I actually think I likethis.
This is crazy.
Jiu Jitsu.
What?
What am I doing?
SPEAKER_00 (50:08):
That's awesome.
SPEAKER_02 (50:09):
And then so I feel like that's been a tool for me
is being able to just bephysically active, recognizing
I'm doing stuff to make myselfphysically strong as well as
mentally and spiritually strong,and just really trying to
address all of the aspects ofmyself as a person and getting
to the roots of me, who I am.
I tried all Reiki therapy in thelast year.
(50:31):
Energy healing is basically whatit is, and it's based off of the
belief that our body haschakras.
If you're an anime fight fan,the word chakra may be familiar
to you, but it's basically howthey describe it at anime
episodes.
Everyone has these like energycenters that run through them in
their body in differentlocations.
(50:51):
And if one of those chakras isif some whatever happens to you
as a person, it impacts thatchakra that you have.
And so the my Reiki therapisttold me when I went for my first
session that he they he couldtell that my root chakra was
like misaligned, and your rootchakra is like in your pelvic
(51:12):
area, it's like your base.
And so whatever happens to youwhen you are a child, based off
of that belief system ofchakras, that forms, that forms
the experiences you have as achild forms the the root of like
the basic foundation of yourroot root chakra being
developed.
So if you've experienced traumawhen you are a child, then your
(51:34):
root chakra is going to have notthe best spin, basically, of
energy that in that impacts theother chakras that line up
throughout your throughout yourbody.
Um, kind of like how gears in abite, or like gears do, like one
spins with the other.
That's how chakras they they go.
So if one is a little bit wonky,the rest are gonna turn a little
(51:55):
bit wonky, is the best way todescribe it.
So that's been a tool I've beenusing too, as well as the gym
there, like mental talk therapywriting, um, and then just being
with people that I trusthonestly are it's therapeutic in
of itself, and finding thosepeople and recognizing that
like, you know, not everyonemight deserve it.
(52:18):
It's kind of like sometimes itfeels like not everyone deserves
to hear your story.
Like you've their theirenergies, like you can't just
trust anyone.
At least that's how I feel rightnow at this point in my journey.
That I can't just trust anyoneif I'm sitting one-on-one with
someone to tell my story to.
That's something that I have tofeel propelled to disclose that
(52:40):
dark, dark part of my lifefeeling still with them.
But it's different, like forsomething with this podcast, I
get to touch people, just somany people, and I don't I'm and
you're choosing as a listener tolisten to my story, and that's
different.
But that's one thing I'verecognized that not everyone
(53:02):
might deserve to hear yourstory, it feels I you know that
thank you for kind of reallyexplaining your tools.
SPEAKER_00 (53:08):
I was gonna ask, like what resources, and you
just explained that to the tea.
And I've used Reiki, I've doneholistic sound bar therapies,
you know, I've done likemassages are very important,
even getting a mani petty, youknow, making myself feel
beautiful, right?
Those are all things you can do.
And I've even acupuncture.
I did a 10-week program foracupuncture because I going
through menopause, and so thathas helped me not only with my
(53:30):
menopause, it's helped me tosleep better, and and just that
just knowing that I wasreleasing something through
that, through those, through thethe needles.
I was just like feeling so free.
And so I've tried so many thingsas well.
And I guess to you know, to wrapup and as we're wrapping up, I
just want to say what I'm mostgrateful for, sunshine today is
that you trusted me with yourstory.
(53:53):
You being here today has reallyallowed you to touch the masses,
right?
And I just want to say thank youfrom the bottom of my heart.
What I'm most grateful for isthe power of connection, the
power of our voices, thestrength that you carry, right?
You know, you call it karma, Icall it divine appointment,
divine alignment.
You know, God brought ustogether.
(54:14):
I that's what I believe.
And I'm so grateful that forthat person that bought the
book, that you could read thebook.
I'm grateful that we became, youknow, kind of in this mentorship
program, but a true friendship.
You know, we have built arelationship, a friendship.
And I can't wait to continue towatch you thrive in this life
journey, in your healingjourney, you know, watch you
(54:37):
find, hopefully, right, the loveof your life, you know, bear
children, get married, you know,maybe get married, then bear
children, whichever route youwant to take.
You know, there's no in my mind,like right or wrong way.
I've done it all types of ways,right?
But it's like I really wish thatfor your life, you know, and I'm
so excited to just be a part ofit, even if it's that small part
(54:58):
of it.
But I know like I'm here foryou.
And I just want to say thankyou, like you said, to my
listeners for you know, justsharing and being here and
listening and taking the time.
And just thank you.
That's what I'm grateful fortoday.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Candace.
Thank you.
All right, everyone.
Well, thank you all for tuningin to another episode of
Unspoken Conversations withCandace.
(55:19):
Make sure you stay connectedwith me on my socials, on my
website, and we'll see you nexttime.
Thank you very much.
Bye, everyone.
Thank you so much for listeningto this conversation about
healing, encouragement, andsupport.
Trust that there is power inspeaking your truth and sharing
your experience with othersbecause you can have an impact
(55:42):
or even save someone's life.
Follow me on Facebook andInstagram to stay engaged in our
unspoken conversations withCandace.
And if you have been impacted bytrauma and need tools to heal,
consider purchasing a copy of mybook titled Unspoken available
on Amazon.
Thanks again, and remember,you're not alone.
Welcome to Unspoken Conversations with Candace,
where we talk openly about tabootopics in order to spark
difficult and uncomfortableconversations, where we allow a
safe place for anyone who hashad trauma to be heard.
Unspoken Conversations withCandace is about speaking your
(00:31):
truth by using your voicebecause you matter.
Welcome to another episode ofUnspoken Conversations with
Candace.
Today is a Sunday, and I alwayscall my Sundays spiritual
(00:54):
Sundays, and I'm in my podcaststudio with I always say the
word amazing on my podcast, butmy all my guests, they are
amazing.
They're inspirational, theychange my life, and then I also
like to feel like I change theirlives.
And they come into my studio inmy in-person studio here in
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and Iinvite them into my podcast
(01:16):
studio, which is held in mybasement.
We're sitting here in mybasement.
And when I invite my guests in,the beauty of my podcast is that
it is in a safe, secure, privatesetting to allow these guests to
really speak their unspokentruth.
And that's what I love about myunspoken conversational Canvas
(01:37):
podcast.
And so I'm your host, and I'm soexcited to be here today on this
Spiritual Sunday.
And so I just want to welcome,and she is going to be her name
for this episode is Sunshinebecause she is a ray of sunshine
in my life.
And it's, you know, with as weknow that this podcast is about
unspoken stories, right?
(01:57):
Where we talk about abuse, wetalk about child abuse,
molestation, we talk abouttrauma, you know, domestic
violence, you know, badrelationships.
We've talked about a lot ofepisodes on this podcast, and
we're here to kind of talk aboutanother story.
And that's the beauty of mypodcast.
I love that I can buildcommunity, build support for
other survivors, and I'll sayscratch that for other thrivers
(02:20):
to come into my studio to reallyshare their truth.
And so welcome, sunshine, to mystudio today.
SPEAKER_02 (02:28):
Hi, Candace.
Thank you for having me.
Um, this I feel like has been along time coming.
So I'm really happy and feelingblessed and grateful that we are
able to come together on thisspiritual Sunday.
I know it's unique today.
I get to introduce myself.
SPEAKER_00 (02:40):
Yes, I normally so let's talk about that.
Normally my guests are used tome, like I usually have my
guests prepare a bio, which shehas, Sunshine has an amazing
bio.
But as we were talking about, Isaid, you know what?
I want to do something differenttoday.
I want you to introduce yourselfto my audience because when I
was reading her bio, she is apoet.
Okay.
(03:01):
Now, this is the third poet I'vehad on my podcast, and they are
just such creative individualsthat I don't want to take away
from her spirit, this sunshinethat she's bringing into the
studio.
So I'm gonna let you, sunshine,to introduce yourself on my
podcast today.
So I'm giving you the mic.
SPEAKER_02 (03:17):
Okay.
So I call myself a student oflife.
I have a bachelor's degree inpsychology and I'm a master's in
public health.
I'm a coordinator of chaos in aworld where the only constant I
think is the cycle of entropyand entropy that we coexist in
together as humans.
I'm a writer, poet, who candescribe and capture the
(03:38):
feelings that we as humansstruggle to put into words.
I'm a grappler in my time, awayfrom my pen and paper, filled
journals, learning the art ofBrazilian jujitsu, and also I'm
currently weightlifting.
I've had to take a pause fromthat for health reasons, but
we'll be back on the mat soonerthan I know it, I know.
My day job is being a clinicalresearch coordinator in
(04:00):
Obstetrics and Gynecological.
My mission is to live up to themeaning of my first name.
It means the very first rays ofsunlight that shine from a
sunrise to help inspire othersto try to just keep rising
despite feeling down.
I like to be able to provideothers who've experienced
similar challenges andexperiences I experiences as I
(04:21):
have with tools to help overcomeand truly become thrivers,
because it's been a little bit,but I've finally feel like I've
reached a bit of a my thrivingchapter and journey and accepted
this the past my past.
SPEAKER_00 (04:38):
Yes, and I think that's really how we became
connected.
Sunshine and I met, and and I'm,you know, I have to I'm looking
at my notes, everybody, becausein you know, when you have
someone that you've known andthat you met in person, right,
you want to call them by theirname, but I'm respecting your
privacy today.
And that's the beauty again ofthe podcast is that I get to do
that.
And I, you know, I've had otheranonymous guests come in because
(05:01):
they're not ready to fully, andthat's and that is completely
okay.
I would rather them come here asanonymous name and be able to
share their truth than not comeand share their truth at all.
So thank you for that.
So Sunshine and I met at a womenleadership conference in
healthcare, and I was thekeynote speaker, and the name
the conference title was IgniteYour Spark.
(05:22):
And so I kind of was sharing myhealthcare journey IT career,
and then I shared my personalstory with that, and that is how
we connected because I hadshared my story of being abused
as a child between the ages offive to fifteen, you know, with
family members who I loved andtrusted, being sexually molested
and assaulted at a young age,you know, as a child.
(05:45):
And so when I think about that,it it just, you know, and and
sharing that in a world in aroom full of some people I knew
and some people I didn't.
And sunshine, after I gave myspeech, I had my own table, came
up to me, and the rest ishistory.
We've been connected ever since.
And so I just want to againapplaud you for coming and
(06:06):
telling me at the table that youhad a story, that you would love
to meet me for coffee.
And we've met for coffee.
I feel like I've become amentor.
I feel like we are friends.
I feel like us spon be us bothbeing in the healthcare space,
I'm able to help coach you andbe there for you.
And so just thank you for beingso honest, so brave, so
(06:27):
courageous, and then just givingme the ability to be there for
you.
That really means a lot to me.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (06:36):
Of course.
Yeah, that day when I met you.
No, I was crying amidst peers,co-workers, and I mean, I some
of them I'm I became I've becomeclose with, so they know that
part of my story.
A couple others, they they theydon't.
So it was that when Candace wastelling her story on stage, it
was a it was strange, honestly,crying in front of my
(06:58):
co-workers.
I don't think that that'snormal, you know, these people
you see every day just workingat a computer talking about work
stressors, like going and seeingsomeone like cry about such a
traumatic story and hearing it.
And so I walked up to Candice,yeah, after hearing her story
(07:19):
because I just had a feelingthat I I needed to talk to her.
I'm someone that if I reallyenjoy an experience that someone
was able to help lead, I lovebeing able to go and approach
them and thank them and justconnect with them.
I'm a very people-orientedperson.
I've learned or gradually kindof chose to go to be.
(07:40):
And I got in line recognizingthat I wanted her book, and I
only had my debit card, Iremember at the time and Venvo
and cash over what was beingtaken.
So I honestly I was like waitingin line and about to pay for my
book and found that out.
And then this is kind of aunique little thing that
happened.
The woman behind me, she endedup paying for my book and her
(08:01):
book, and I almost startedcrying because I was like, oh my
god, like this is so so sweet.
I was already feeling veryemotional after hearing Candace
speak, and I was like, okay, no,like meant to be, like, it's
meant to be, and then I got outto my car and after hearing her
speak and sat with that book,and the sun was setting at the
(08:21):
time at the end of the day, andit was like the most beautiful,
like gorgeous, like sunset thatI'd seen in a long time.
And I just sat there and cried,like I sat there and cried
because I I knew that meetingcoming to the conference,
meeting Candace, that experiencewith that stranger, buying me
her book so I could have it as atool.
(08:42):
She didn't know me at all.
Like I said, complete stranger.
But it just the love like that Ifelt that day from people that I
had never met from and like metwith in my life.
It it's hard to explain thatfeeling of like you just know
that you're right there in theright place at the right time at
the right moment with the rightpeople.
Oh my god.
(09:03):
I'm sitting here getting alltearied up, teary-eyed because
you never know.
SPEAKER_00 (09:08):
So, like with me being the keynote, right?
It's a mental preparation to getup there to share your story.
I I am I'm still doing keynotespeaking.
So if anyone needs a keynote,hire me.
I will come in and I will bewith confidence and charisma and
I will do it with class, but Iwill also be authentic, real,
and raw and share my storybecause so many people need to
hear it.
(09:28):
Because look at how it haschanged, I believe, your life.
It shifted you, right?
Mentally, it shifted youemotionally, it put something in
you, and that is the truemeaning of when you share your
story and how you can impact andand literally change or save
someone's life, right?
And so thank you for lettingreminding me and letting me know
(09:50):
like it was so worth it.
Because, you know, me gettingready for the event, tabling for
the event, mentally preparingfor the event, making sure my
speech was right.
Oh my, you know, I get allnervous, I get all worked up
inside, sometimes even sofearful to like, am I doing,
should I do this?
You know, or again, I say theenemy trying to attack me from
not sharing my story, but man,to know what you felt and how it
(10:13):
made you feel, just it justbrings so much joy to my heart.
And these are like, you know,tears of like just happiness and
joy and thankfulness, like, youknow, for that moment.
And the way you described too,like what you felt love from a
complete stranger.
And I I completely even forgotthat that that's what happened,
and you know, and that I didn'taccept credit cards.
SPEAKER_01 (10:34):
Yeah, I was like, oh no, gosh, maybe I'm not I won't
get the book today.
I'll find it on Amazon.
Like that's okay, I guess.
SPEAKER_00 (10:42):
I really was learning opportunity for Candace
Sanchez.
Make sure you have your littleSlape card.
And I think you know what's sofunny is I had a Samsung at the
time.
Now I'm an I oh now I'm aniPhone user, and you know, they
have those really cool toolsnow.
And I I so you know, processimprovement.
Thank you for that.
Making me re remind me of allthe things that I need to
improve on for business.
So yeah, but I'm glad you gotthe book and you felt love.
(11:05):
That that to me is amazing.
So as we kind of like now, youknow, so thank you for you know
coming to my table, talking withme, and sharing how the
conference and my keynote wasable to kind of help inspire you
to share your story.
Let's talk about your story.
Let's get into the meats andpotatoes and I call chitty stone
eggs or the the the the thegrit, right?
(11:26):
Getting into the grit and whenyou're in the pit, right?
When all that pain and stuff ishappening and having you have to
probably go back there.
I'm sure as I was speaking, youwere kind of going back thinking
about what you experienced.
So I'm gonna turn it overbecause now you get to really
speak your unspoken.
Thank you, Candace.
And take your time because Iknow you know it can be hard to
share, but you have we we havebeen preparing for this episode,
(11:50):
I think, for at least a year anda half.
SPEAKER_02 (11:52):
At least a year and a half.
Like I said, I feel like now isthe time more than any.
We wanted to do it earlier, buthonestly, I don't think that I
was completely ready when we hadoriginally thought about
recording.
SPEAKER_00 (12:03):
So yes, let's let's start with you know, maybe how
old you were, what had happened.
I mean, again, we're not here todisclose names, but whatever
you're comfortable with sharingwith that timeline of that
journey and and what you wentthrough.
Because usually it's by someonewe love or trust.
You know, it's not always thestrangers that we're taught,
right?
It's usually our family membersor friends.
(12:24):
So let's talk about that.
SPEAKER_02 (12:26):
So for me, it was between the ages of I would say
five and ten or twelve,honestly.
I mean, you kind of it's hard toput a timeline to, I feel like
things like that that happenedto you in the past.
It's something that I had put tothe back of my mind for so long
that I never really criticallythought about okay, it started
(12:46):
at this time, these experiences,and ended at around this time of
my life.
I was about that that old.
Like I it was not something thatI honestly bookmarked.
SPEAKER_00 (12:57):
And it's okay to say that, to call that out because
when I talk about timeline, youmay or may not remember certain
things, and that's what traumadoes to you.
You know, like those memorieseither you bury them so hard
because they're too painful, butthen you know that something
happened, right?
SPEAKER_02 (13:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So for me, I mean my abuser wasmy older cousin that had just
come from not being from thiscountry, we'll say, and they
they c he he and his family cameto stay with my family till they
got on their feet, basically.
So it was a daily almost at thattime when I was young that
(13:35):
things would happen.
Like basically, you know, Ithought he's older, like in in
my culture, I'm biracial, and inone of my cultures, I it's like
a big thing to respect yourelders, people that are older
than you, and just to you know,not question too much.
I was already a bit shy to beginwith as a child.
I pretty my mom she describesthat I I pretty much like didn't
(13:59):
trouble them too much.
I didn't I kind of did what Iwas told, pretty obedient kid,
honestly.
So this cousin, like we'd hangout as kids, and it was my older
brother at the time too, and itwas just like he would threaten
to stop talking to me if Ididn't like go along with what
(14:20):
he wanted me to do with him.
And I in my brain at that time,the only thing I can remember is
thinking, if I don't do what hesays I should do, then the
adults are gonna notice thatsomething's up between us, and I
didn't want them to think thatthere was anything wrong with me
going on.
(14:41):
It felt like it was a stressfultime for my parents and their
family too, and so I just didn'twant to add another burden to
something that was alreadyfeeling like a stressful time.
Even at five years old, I couldrecognize it wasn't something
that was normal for my familyand I to go through and be able
to have their family living withus in this small apartment.
(15:05):
And I, yeah, like I said, I justwanted to kind of not cause any
kind of trouble.
So I did what he said so that noone could notice that I was
acting strange or weird or therewas something s weird basically
going on between the kids as wewere hanging out and like the
adults were figuring outwhatever they needed to when
like we were together to havethem move, or I don't know.
(15:28):
You know, I like I said, I thedetails are very hard to parse
out.
SPEAKER_00 (15:33):
Um and I think it's not really like the details
important, not important, right?
Like it just the fact that ithappened, you know.
So like I see you, I hear you, Ibelieve you.
That's what needs to be saidhere, right?
Because a lot of times we thinkit's our fault, right?
We blame ourselves, we carry theshame, the fear, the guilt.
And so how old was your cousin?
(15:54):
My cousin was probably at leastlike six or seven years older.
Older.
So if you were five, so he plusso he was 11 or 12.
SPEAKER_02 (16:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:02):
Okay.
Yeah.
And so, like, when you thinkabout you know, child on child,
like then you just qu you wantyou wonder, right?
Like, what happened to him?
What was going on?
What did someone do that to him?
Because he was a child himself.
SPEAKER_02 (16:11):
Right.
I don't know.
All I heard was that I know thathe was not he doesn't seem to
have his head screwed on quitestraight, honestly, even from a
kid at a kid's at that age.
Kind of a little bit of atroublemaker from from the
start.
And like I said, I was young, Iwas a baby, you know.
Like I was like, oh, these aremy cousins from from this
(16:32):
country, like I should trustthem, like they're my dad
sisters, kids, you know, they'refine.
Like, you know, didn't thinkanything of it.
And then I like remember hewould pull me aside, and we'd
there would be a room that wouldbe a bedroom or something, and
we'd just go and he'd make me dothings to him, and I would like
not even be thinking, and it waslike a like experience that like
(16:57):
you're not he don't feel likeyou're in your body.
SPEAKER_00 (17:00):
An out-of-body experience.
SPEAKER_02 (17:01):
You kind of don't really feel like you're in your
body.
I felt like I had no control.
Um, I felt like it was somethinglike that I just had to go along
with because I didn't want, likeI said, anyone to notice that
there was something likedifferent going on with the
kids, that there was like maybesomething weird going on with
(17:22):
the kids.
SPEAKER_00 (17:22):
You didn't want to cause any waves.
SPEAKER_02 (17:24):
No, I didn't want to cause any waves, even at a
five-year-old.
Like being five years old, I wasaware that I didn't want to
cause waves.
SPEAKER_00 (17:31):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:32):
Which is wild.
SPEAKER_00 (17:33):
How could you know that as a kid?
Isn't that crazy?
I I remember the same thing.
So, what my abuser used to tellme was that if I told my mom or
I told anybody that my mom wouldhave a nervous breakdown and she
would have to be taken away andI would be stuck with him
anyways.
So, like he led me to believe,yeah, put fear in me,
(17:55):
intimidated me, threatened me.
So, and you know, when we get totalking about the book, those
were some of the things, youknow, again, manipulation and
just you know, putting the fearin me.
Yeah, I was afraid.
And that's what they do is theycondition us to be afraid of
them and that we better just dowhat they say.
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (18:15):
Even though, like, I like and it's I just I even to
this day, I'm like, why didn't Istop myself?
You know, I'm upset sometimeswith myself that I went along, I
went and did the things and Idid, you know, it's weird
because you are a kid, you areliterally a kid at that time,
and to be thinking these thingslike no, you should have known
(18:37):
better is what I thought.
SPEAKER_00 (18:39):
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (18:40):
And I just think that that's unfair now.
I recognize now that that isn'tan unfair thing for a child to
have to think that like this iswhat's like to to have to
critically think at that matureof a level of like no, this is
wrong.
I literally was a baby fiveyears old when things started
(19:02):
happening to me.
And so then that obviously canuh those kinds of experiences
consistently happen happening toyou, obviously it it alters your
mental processing and the wayyou choose to make decisions and
the way that emotions show up inyour body and the way you
respond to those emotions, likeit was a lot, and then I I just
(19:25):
knew that I I hated seeing them.
Whenever we had they had movedout.
I like obviously I'm like, Idon't want to deal with them.
I I want them to be gone, like,and I couldn't tell anyone that
like I wish that he was notthere when we ever we visited,
and gradually I'm glad he uh hehe faded out of my life as my
(19:46):
parents like recognized thatit's not really a fun time um
honestly interacting as withthat family those family
members.
SPEAKER_00 (19:56):
It was more drama filled than anything.
So your parents then maybe haddiscernment.
Did they did they pick up maybeon your energy levels, or was it
just that things weren't workingout when you guys got together?
So just kind of things weresevered or ties kind of just
cut?
SPEAKER_02 (20:10):
See things kind of just my I I feel like love at a
distance was the rule.
Like, okay, like you can likelove them, but like at a
distance that we don't have toget too close to them.
Like it's perfect that you canhave people that you love, but
uh from afar kind of thing.
Gradually is like I said, butbecause every other interaction
(20:34):
seems to seem to be drama-filledand not, you know, you know, in
a good way, just in general.
So like we just kind of theyended up fading, like, and just
interacting primarily with myaunt and my uncle as they're
they got older.
Um and that's the same.
SPEAKER_00 (20:49):
So they still live here in the US, or did they oh
they still live here?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
When was the last time that youhad any interaction, or like how
many years has it been?
Because you know, you don't haveto disclose your age, but how
many years has it been givingyou time to be on this healing
journey?
SPEAKER_02 (21:05):
How many years has it been since I saw my abuser?
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Your abuser.
SPEAKER_02 (21:08):
I mean, I think it's been like six years.
Six years, five or six years.
SPEAKER_00 (21:13):
But it and again, just it was just more curiosity
than anything.
But like, let's, you know, youreally as far as a transition
point, because I think this is agood time to kind of talk about
you you kind of talked about howthat impacts you when you're
carrying the load of that secretand you're carrying the load of
having to keep that within, thatdoes something, right?
When there's a book out therecalled Your Body Keeps Gore,
(21:34):
right?
And so we have talked a littlebit about our bodies and and the
traumas that you you bury deepinside.
And I think when you came tothat table and you disclosed and
you we started meeting and youstarted sharing your story, the
weight just kind of like waslifted off.
Like you just kind of felt alittle bit more free, a little
bit less shame, a little bitless blame, a little bit, you
know, that fear kind of wasstarting to fade because you're
(21:56):
like, I'm not the only one.
This I wasn't the only one thatthis happened to.
This seems to be what happens insome families, right?
And and and abuse is abuse, itdoesn't discriminate all
backgrounds, all cultures, youknow, all of that.
And so let's talk a little bitabout like that healing journey
for you and what you've done tokind of get on that journey to
(22:16):
heal from the inside out.
SPEAKER_02 (22:18):
So I would say my healing journey really, really
started with me accepting thatthat is my past, it is a part of
who I am in honestly when Istarted undergrad, and because
that's when I really madefriends with people that I
thought are my people, like thatI can trust.
(22:40):
Where I went to school, I didn'tgraduate with any best friends.
I'm not friends with anyone fromhigh school.
I never felt connected.
I never feel like I couldconnect to anybody like as deep
as I would like to.
My friendships, I love.
I cherish my friendships.
And in grade school, people Ifeel like didn't understand how
much I really love them.
I I connect with them.
(23:00):
And if I choose you to be myfriend, you are my friend.
And I will be close and in yourspace as much as as you allow
because like I just I adore youand care about you that much.
And if you can't handle thatlike level of love, then not my
friends.
So, anyways, and you're not mypeople.
You're not my people.
So when I was an undergrad,finally started making those
(23:21):
kinds of friendships andallowing people, like trusting
people again, essentially, to bein my life as a friend, and they
really allowed me to feelcomfortable like opening up
because I feel like I had areputation basically of being,
yeah, walking ray of likesunshine on campus and all that
knew me, and let them, myfriends, know that even though
(23:44):
you know I come across this way,this is something that's in my
past that is as like the dark asbright as I am, I couldn't be as
bright as I am with this withoutthe darkness that I feel like I
am carrying in my past.
And it was beautiful the way Ifelt, just so heard for the
first time of my life about whatI had gone through, that things
(24:06):
I had never ever verbalized inmy entire life.
I think I started, I like maybewrote about what had happened to
me on pieces of paper when I wasin high school, and then I tried
to just throw them away in thegarbage can and see if that was
cathartic at all.
And honestly, it was so scary.
I remember writing on thosepieces of paper because I'm
like, oh my gosh, who what ifone of my family members sees
(24:28):
this?
I I remember I think I likewrite it wrote things down and
then handled those pieces ofpaper and threw them in the
garbage and took it out myselfjust so that no one in my family
like could actually find outthat that something that Kirin
Kieran wrote, you know.
And like so honestly, it justthat that was one of the moments
and then undergrad, and then Iwent to my first therapy session
(24:51):
in undergrad after disclosingdisclosing to my friends that
this is what happened to mebecause they recommended, like,
hey, maybe you should talk tosomeone about it.
They weren't like pushy aboutit, but they said, I mean,
therapy might help if youhaven't tried going to therapy
yet.
And so I booked an appointmentwith our campus therapist who
was overbooked, over busy, so Icouldn't get an appointment for
(25:11):
like two or three months.
Wait, so what year was that?
SPEAKER_00 (25:15):
Because we're still overbooked.
Yeah.
You know, mental health hasreally come to the forefront,
especially since 2020, right?
The pandemic.
But man, that has been prettyconstant.
So I'm glad that you called thatout.
SPEAKER_02 (25:26):
It was let me think.
Oh gosh, I think maybe it was2020.
SPEAKER_00 (25:30):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (25:30):
So when things on hang on, not 2020.
That was when I was in gradschool.
I apologize.
No, no, no.
SPEAKER_00 (25:36):
Again, it's it's it's just more of the timeline
of understanding my journey.
Your journey, but then when Ithink about like therapy today,
like it's still hard to get inright and it was still hard back
then in those years.
So if even if it was prior to2020, that's still true today.
And and now we're in 2024.
That that's just crazy.
SPEAKER_02 (25:52):
I think it was 2015 or 2016, honestly, when I went
and I was trying to see atherapist on campus.
SPEAKER_00 (26:01):
But I'm so glad that you took that step.
Yeah, it was and that yourfriends, your people encouraged
you to do that because I thinkthat's huge.
I think all survivors, you know,if you're out there and you're
listening and you know, you'rehearing the story and it and and
it's touching your heart, andyou're like, you know, wow, if
these two individuals can go getprofessional help, like you can
go get professional help too.
(26:21):
Find you know, those therapistsin your community, in your area.
Um, yes, it may take a long timeto get in, but there's so many
support groups also, like, youknow, the National Alliance for
Mental Illness, NAMI, there'schapters, every state has one.
And so they offer free supportgroups for survivors to come in
and build community and talkabout their healing journey.
(26:42):
So I'm so glad that you went andgot professional therapy.
Thank you.
That's amazing.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (26:47):
Yeah, I know.
And then I realized though, likeI met with that therapist and I
think I met with her twice,maybe three times tops, but I
didn't really feel like honestlyan emotional connection with
her, even though I had sharedthings that were super emotional
and deep.
And so then that's when Irecognized just from like my
first therapy experience, thatit's okay, like if you don't
like the first person that yougo and see and that you try to
(27:10):
go and talk to about yourjourney.
Like, you really have to feellike you can trust that person,
that that person is helpful toyou, that they really, really
understand you.
Being a woman that'smulticultural or biracial, I
felt like it was very importantthen fast-forwarding to who I'm
currently seeing as my therapistfor the last three years.
She's someone that is of thesame like cultural or similar
(27:33):
cultural background as I am.
And so I, though knew after thatexperience in undergrad, when I
started my search in grad schoolfor a new therapist, an actual
therapist, to see consistentlyand talk about my journey, not
from just only from my past, butmy day-to-day just because I
have X, I would say my anxietyis I'm an anxious person.
(27:56):
I am a very anxious person.
It it alters the way I interactmy with my and my friendships
and my romantic relationships,like everything is impacted by
my anxiety.
SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
So you're dropping truth bombs right now, which we
can I'm not kidding.
I still struggle.
I am 53 years old, sunshine.
I'm 53, and I still I you know Ididn't even know it was anxiety
until the pandemic.
I never even acknowledged that Ihad anxiety.
I probably had my whole life,but because I was a workaholic,
which is another which isanother trauma response, I just
(28:31):
made myself busy all of the timeand I never had downtime for
myself.
And you know what?
That's so I didn't have to sitin the pit, didn't have to sit
in the the bottom of thatugliness, didn't have to sit in
that dark.
I just always stayed busy, andthat wasn't healthy either.
SPEAKER_02 (28:46):
Yes, I overextended myself when I was an undergrad.
Girl, I was a part of it.
I mean, we were just talkingabout how booked we can put into
a like part of a week week, awork week.
Yes.
We'll book ourselves.
And right now I'm in a state ofmind where I'm like, I can't do
that.
I know I shouldn't do that.
I need to recognize when tocarve out time just for myself,
even though I feel like I am avery social person.
(29:08):
I love being with my people,like friends and family.
And so, but I still need thattime to, you know, to journal,
to read, to sit on the couch,watch my shows, drink my tea.
I love, and so yeah, no, beingover that's definitely it.
I don't know where I was.
SPEAKER_00 (29:26):
I we were talking about like just the the
different anxiety, you know,yeah, anxiety that you have in
your relationship.
Like that's the those are thosePTSD things, those responses
that occur within someone who'sbeen abused, been through the
sexual child molestation.
I mean, we're just gonna call itfor what it is, right?
Yes, by those that we loved andtrusted that we were supposed to
(29:47):
be safe with and we weren't safewith.
SPEAKER_02 (29:49):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (29:49):
And you know, and then you know, we talked about
what what has helped you.
You were talking about you werewriting things down, you were
throwing it away, you were youwere becoming a, you know, you
were.
Journaling, basically, you werewriting things down.
And you talked in your bio aboutbeing a writing poetry, right?
And the written form, thewritten word.
And I think that is verytherapeutic.
SPEAKER_02 (30:09):
It is.
SPEAKER_00 (30:10):
And even seeing you prepare for today.
And I'm sure you talked about itwith your therapist, how you
were going to be on a podcastand how you were going to share
your story.
And and you had pages and pagesof things you're writing down.
But that was to prepare youmentally, physically,
emotionally, spiritually, allthe things.
Because that's when you write itdown and you see it, because I
went through that when I waswriting my book, right?
(30:32):
You write it down, you see it,you type it, you edit it, and
you know, the whole audiobookthing, I'm still in process with
that.
That's even harder when you'resaying the words yourself and
saying this is your freakingstory.
Are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_02 (30:45):
This is my this was my life.
What?
It's hard to like like acceptthat.
Like I said, it was this part ofmy life, like I pushed it back
for so long, and it wasn't untilI was about 20, 21 or so that
you know I was really ready toaccept that this is what
happened to me in my past.
(31:05):
But despite that, I was able tolike I made it a goal to stay
busy, to get focused on thingsthat I loved in my life.
Writing, I started writing whatis one of the things that I love
to take control of my lifebecause of like everything else,
kind of sometimes feeling reallyout of control.
Um, and so I took to writingwhen I was in sixth grade.
(31:27):
My teacher at the time, ourhomeroom teacher, however you
want to call it, she recognizedmy knack for poetry when we had
a poetry unit for language arts,and actually got me my first
journal.
And it was really nice, likehardcover journal.
I thought it was really sweet,but she's like, You need to
write, like basically keepwriting because you're gonna be
(31:47):
on to something, you know, anddon't stop.
And so from there I didforensics in high school.
I wrote my own poems, and witheach year that I did perform
pieces, and I was one of thefirst students and only students
at my grade high school inforensics to go and write my own
poetry and actually do well,exceed and get like gold at
(32:08):
state poetry.
SPEAKER_00 (32:10):
Look at that.
I was one of the first.
Let me just say kudos to thatteacher.
Thank you.
You know, for believing in you,seeing something in you, and
putting planting that seed.
Yes.
Oh my god, sunshine.
That was amazing.
SPEAKER_02 (32:22):
I don't know where I would have been, honestly,
because I've always beendrawing.
I love drawing and painting,arts, anything that I can do on
my own, just to like I said, tofeel like I have some sort of
control again in my life.
Being able to write poetry, youare I feel like complete freedom
and like there's no judgment atall with myself.
Um, and so that's why I reallyhave leaned on poetry.
(32:45):
And it's cheap.
You just need a piece of paperand some pen, uh whatever
writing utensil you want to use,a crayon at the time, whatever's
around you, and you can writedown your lines that you have
going through your head.
At least that's kind of whathappens to me.
Or I do type sometimes on myphone.
Sometimes it feels I honestlyfeel it, it's more organic for
me to actually have a piece ofpaper and a pen instead.
(33:08):
But whatever, you know, it Ihave in the moment.
I try if I have something on mybrain that I need to like get
out, I will work on making sureit gets down and out.
Um, so that's one of my toolsI've used.
Going to therapy consistentlywith my current therapist has
been about three years or so.
She is someone I looked up and Iwanted someone of like I put in
the keywords of like someone ofmy cultural background, someone
(33:31):
from the area I preferred, andthen someone that specialized in
sexual abuse or trauma.
Um and I felt like I found afour-relief clover four-leaf
clover when I found her becauseshe hit all those points and she
was not gonna make me feel likeI was like like therapy is not
cheap.
It is expensive, and so herprice is also amazing, you know?
(33:55):
So it was like I couldn'tbelieve how lucky I felt.
And she offers therapy virtuallyas well instead of in person,
which is a big game changer forme because it's still something
Was it because of that busyschedule?
Sort of, yeah.
Now as I'm old, like and livingon my own, but at the time I was
still kind of I was living in myfamily after graduating, and I
(34:16):
just felt like I needed to dothis for myself, and I didn't
really feel like my family wouldcompletely understand that I
needed to go to therapyculturally, like it's mental
health.
Yep, that is so true.
I don't know how else to say islike new as a thing that needs
to be addressed.
It like going for a physicalhealth doctoral appointment
(34:37):
appointment.
Your your brain needs that too,and that's something that's
new-ish to my in the culturethat I'm from and one of my
cultures.
SPEAKER_00 (34:45):
That's kind of like it in my culture, being
Hispanic, Latino,Mexican-American.
Same thing.
You know, I was told whathappens in this house stays in
this house, right?
You don't air out your dirtylaundry, nobody needs to know
our business.
Like, you know, so I just waslike, you know, holding that,
like I said, that secret insideand carrying the weight of all
of that.
And and that's that's not a goodthing to do, you know.
(35:09):
And so I get it, I get it.
So you've been on your healingjourney, you have a therapist,
you're seeing the therapist now.
You kind of talked about thepoints of you know how it has
affected you in relationships,you know, personal,
professional, but you haveovercome.
You know, you are triumph.
You are triumphant, and you arean overcomer, and you are
(35:32):
achieving, and you are, youknow, a lot of times I think
sometimes we go from that victimmentality to the survivor
mentality, right?
Dirbal on the wheel, to nowthriving.
And I see you thriving,sunshine.
I see you, you know, you are aray of sunshine.
You walk in a room and you havethat energy, and you know, I
believe it was by divine designthat our paths crossed.
(35:53):
I believe it was divine design.
You know, I say God appointed meto, you know, he equipped me to
be able to share my story, becourageous and brave, and that's
what you're doing today.
And I'm so proud of you.
I want to transition, you know,to the book, because I know you
read the book, and so I I'mgonna do a plug here for the
book.
So please go and support me,Unspoken by Candace Sanchez.
(36:14):
It's available on Amazon.
You can also visit my website atdot candassanchez.com.
I do have my own store, my ownshop store.
So you could buy a a signed copydirectly from me and I would
ship it to you no matter whereyou are in the US of A or even
over states.
You can buy the you the Audiblesoon coming, so stay tuned for
the Audible.
But anytime you purchase from mystore or you purchase from
(36:36):
Amazon, I give back in a bigway.
I help so many survivorcommunities and groups.
I give back to a localorganization here in Racine,
Wisconsin, which was my hometownwhere I grew up, Belief
Survivors Incorporated.
I'm the board president now.
I was appointed president inAugust of 2024.
So I'm leading that organizationand they have sexual assault
services as well as they try tohelp prevent child abuse and
(36:58):
neglect by going into the schoolsystems and educating
educational, you know, this theteachers as well as the
students, which I think is agreat program to have.
Um, so yeah, please go supportme, purchase a copy of the book.
Make sure you're following thepodcast.
You know, I'm in my fourthseason.
I've kind of taken a pause ondropping episodes, but I'm gonna
be resuming that in 2025.
When we talk about busyschedule, life happens, things
(37:20):
happen, you know, everything forcost of living has gone up.
So it's kind of delayed me alittle bit, but I'm gonna keep
pushing forward because theseepisodes are so key and vital to
people's healing.
So thank you again, Sunshine,for being here.
But let's shift to the book.
I plugged the book.
How when read when you werereading the book, did you
struggle reading the book?
SPEAKER_02 (37:39):
I did struggle reading the book.
SPEAKER_00 (37:40):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (37:41):
It's a book that's not that long when you'll find
out when you get your own copy.
It's really not a thick book atall.
It's a short read, but it's ashort read.
SPEAKER_00 (37:49):
Quick and short read.
SPEAKER_02 (37:50):
And it gets to the point.
It gets to the point.
And but no, I I I had a hardtime reading it because I
resonated with it.
And like when I read eachchapter, there was something
from each chapter that I'm like,I know what that feels like, and
it sucks.
It sucks.
And I I you know it's not acomfy feeling to feel those
(38:11):
feelings of suck and discomfortand out of control feeling, you
know, in those in like thosemoments.
But I'm glad I was able tofinish it.
SPEAKER_00 (38:22):
And and she did have my cell phone number, and I told
her, I said, if you have troublereading this book and you need
to ask me questions or you justare struggling, call me, text
me.
And there were times she textedme, she said, I got as far as
chapter and I couldn't, I had toput it down.
And then she was like, I finallygot through the next whatever
(38:45):
chapters.
And I, you know, the fact thatyou took the pause, you had to
process, and that's what healingis all about.
It's about trusting the process.
Healing is a lifelong journey.
You are in your 30s.
No.
No, you are in your your early20s.
(39:06):
Early 20s now.
She's early 20s.
See, she's very mature for herage.
She has a lot of wisdom.
So I did not mean that in anegative light.
No, completely positive lightbecause she is a ray of sunshine
and because she's got so muchwisdom.
I mean, if you hear thisepisode, you hear her dropping a
lot of truth bombs.
She's an educated, smart,poetic, creative, artistic, been
(39:28):
on our healing journey.
She knows that these feelings.
And when she read my book, shefelt it all.
And that's the beauty of it.
I'm, you know, 53 and I'm stillhealing.
So if you're listening andyou're still healing, or you're
just starting, or you're in themiddle, doesn't matter where you
are on your healing journey.
You will be a thriver becauseyou get up and you show up every
(39:51):
single day.
The fact that we're still here,because I wanted to commit
suicide at 15.
I thought I was pregnant by myabuser.
So yeah, bam! Like that was thescariest thing.
And I did was not gonna havethis man's child, no freaking
way.
And I'm saying that out loudbecause that's what's in my
book.
And and honestly, my book wasthe surface, Sunshine.
(40:13):
You know, there's been so muchthat's happened after this book
was published in November of2020.
Again, all the encounters, allthe survivors, all the people
that I've talked to, malesurvivors, because it just
doesn't happen to women, it alsohappens to men.
And I dedicated my whole seasonthree of my podcast to male
survivors because men usuallyare the perpetrators, but they
(40:34):
are also offended.
They also get taken advantage ofand they get hurt, and and they
carry the same shame, blame, andfear that we we we carry as
women.
SPEAKER_02 (40:43):
Right.
I feel like it could be harder.
It's harder for them to telltheir story just because if they
recognize themselves as likeheterosexual, straight like
males, they're you know, societykind of puts this impression on
them that they need to be strongand like unbeatable and you
know, macho a little bit, andlike depending on what what
(41:03):
ethnicity or culture they are,yeah.
That macho comes through evenstronger and it's pushed on them
even more, you know, to be justI I don't have problems.
No, I I can handle everything.
I don't need to, I don't cry,that kind of thing.
SPEAKER_00 (41:20):
You know, can we talk about?
So in the book, I know youmentioned as you were going
through chapters, did you writenotes down or questions down or
anything that like really you'relike Candice?
I really want to talk about thispart in the book.
Because one thing I do I wrotedown as you were talking and
telling your story.
Where are you with forgiveness?
And I asked that for a couplereasons.
So let me let me talk about itso you can think about it.
(41:42):
There's a chapter in my bookcalled Forgive, Never Forget.
I have forgiven my abusers.
It was an uncle and astepfather, which you know, I
say those titles out of respectjust because that's who they
were identifiable in my in myfamily, right?
But they were both my abusers,and I forgave them because I
realized what forgiveness reallydoes.
(42:02):
I had to forgive myself becauseI carried this weight of what
they did to me for too long, andI'm done.
I'm done carrying that.
I when that book came out, I wasfree of the shame, the blame,
and the guilt.
I was done.
I not owning that, so it was notmy fault.
I didn't ask for this to happen.
I didn't didn't deserve for thisto happen to me.
It happened.
I own it, I accept it, and Ihave forgiven because
(42:27):
ultimately, you know, I went andtook the training to be a true
advocate in the sexual assaultsurvivor space.
So now I'm an advocate answeringthe crisis hotline.
I'm on the other side.
And going through that training,I realized the big piece is
accountability.
I needed to hold these menaccountable for what they did to
me.
And just recently, within thelast year, I have filed charges
(42:49):
against both of them.
Now, whether or not, again, somepeople get justice, some people
do not, I don't care what thatoutcome is.
The fact that I did that, thefact that I went in and I filed
a report is enough for me.
If they the DA or it doesn't goto process, they don't get
prosecuted.
I did my duty of what I shouldhave done a long time ago.
And I lived in that regret for along time, but I don't have to
(43:11):
carry that anymore.
So forgiveness, just know thatthere is a power in the
forgiveness aspect.
And so in every survivor,because people listening are
like, I'm never gonna and that'sfine if that's what you choose
now, but I'm telling you, whenyou do forgive, it does
something to you on the inside,it just kind of lets you live in
(43:32):
a different type of way.
Yes, because when you canforgive that person, because
again, when I think about whathappened I think about what did
they what happened to them thatI don't know about, right?
Because hurt people hurt peopleand healed people help heal
people, and so I don't know ifthey were hurt, and if they
were, gosh, I hope they havefound their healing, you know.
(43:54):
So where are you on thatforgiveness?
SPEAKER_02 (43:57):
I honestly don't think I'm ever gonna forgive
this person.
Okay, because I don't care.
He no, I just I don't care.
I really think it was shittywhat he did.
He should have known better.
I don't care what he's gonethrough.
I've gone through whatever, andI don't treat people like shit.
I don't I carry myself with somuch respect for other people.
(44:18):
If they show me respect, theywill get that respect back, you
know, and I've even overextendedmyself too.
It's been something that I thinkit's like a response where I'll
care too much about someone andthey'll repeatedly show me maybe
less effort than what I actuallyam putting in, and I'll still
respect them, I'll still givethem the benefit of the doubt.
(44:38):
So I'm like, if I could do it,why couldn't he have done it?
He was older than I was.
It's stupid to me.
I've forgiven myself insteadbecause I think that's more
worth it.
And for me at this point in mylife, is that I've forgiven
myself.
It's still a daily reminder.
(44:59):
I I I need to remind myselfdaily that I forgive myself.
I forgive myself because like Isaid, I felt like even though I
was when things were happeningto me, I was a baby five years
old, and on to and then after,you know, like it was something
that I honestly it wasn't fairto me.
(45:20):
I shouldn't have had tocritically think that this is
something that's wrong.
This is something I'm still Iwas still learning the world
around me.
Like I was told that this is aperson that I I could I was
supposed to be able to trust,and that's what I took.
And then they abused that trust.
So that I and so then instead oflike looking at the person and
(45:42):
forgiving them, I've recognizedkarma instead is the word that
comes to mind that they are notgetting my my forgiveness,
they're getting the universe'skarma for what they did to me at
that age.
Because currently in life, theyare last thing I heard about
them, they're not in a reallygreat spot in life.
(46:03):
Things just kind of went toshits to pieces every corn
corner, they kind of like theturn they took.
And I didn't have to do anythingabout it.
I I didn't have to do anything,right?
Like the universe took care ofme, me in that sense, and took
care of him to show him lessonsthat he needed to learn, is all
(46:28):
I'm gonna say.
And so I believe that no matterwhat you go through, there's
something that the universe willdo and protect you.
The spiritual power above thatwhichever power you believe in.
I think it's very important tobelieve in something and not
(46:49):
nothing.
Because like there's things thatare happening every day, and
like things that have happenedto me that I just can't explain
that are so beautiful you can'teven plan things out, and then
you recognize there's somethingelse going on here.
Meeting with Candace, there wassomething else going on I
couldn't control.
I had no idea that it would havebeen so perfect the way that we
(47:11):
met, and the way I was able tojust continue learning from her
and connecting with her.
So, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:18):
Yeah, that's thank you for sharing where you were
on the forgiveness.
And it's always different foreverybody.
And so I just thank you forbeing very real and authentic
and where you are in that space.
That that means a lot.
So as we begin to kind of wrapup, I just want to again just
thank you for being here today.
And I love to close out, youknow, a lot of the topics, you
know, are very heavy.
This is a heavy podcast, butit's a healing, empowering,
(47:41):
inspirational.
Like, look at how far you'vecome.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm so proud of you.
So let's talk about the lastchapter of my book was called
Full Circle Blessings.
And so where you are today inlife, right where we are today
in life, I want to know what youare most grateful for.
SPEAKER_02 (47:57):
I'm grateful for the people that I've met on my
journey that I've been there andsupportive and things and people
that I didn't anticipate beingin my corner, being there in my
corner.
And I'm most thankful, andanother thing I'm thankful for
is being able to recognize whatI need in order to help myself
grow from trauma and somethingso dark and heavy.
(48:20):
I recognize like I need to beable to feel like I'm physically
strong and mentally strong.
I made it goals to, you know, goand get my degrees and to go and
like go and continue writing.
And then I got intoweightlifting when I was an
undergrad because I wanted tofeel physically strong.
I didn't want to be, you know,weak.
(48:44):
And weightlifting it's somethingthat I feel like breaks
stereotypes, which I love doing.
I found out being one of theonly women in that gym over on
the weightlifting side, and thengoing and then pursuing martial
arts.
I like started that journey afew years ago, almost like three
years ago, um, or so.
I started like learning tokickbox and then boxing, and
(49:07):
then I had a friend and she'slike, Hey, you want to try
jujitsu?
There's a women's only class.
And I was like, I don't know ifI really want to do that.
People get up in your personalspace and having my trauma.
Like, I don't really know if Ifeel comfortable going and doing
that.
Um, and she's like, you know,just give the women's class a
try.
I get it.
She's someone that knows mystory as well.
And she's like, I do it.
(49:29):
She's gone through some somethings also as as well.
And so she's like, I'm gonna doit.
Just join me, you know.
And then if you don't like it,that's fine.
But, you know, at least try,basically.
And I'm like, okay, I can dothat.
I can try.
I don't like being backing downfrom things that I know could
potentially help me, you know,and that there's only maybe like
(49:50):
a win-win in I just don't knowit because I might feel a little
bit anxious about it.
I don't want to let that stopme.
So I tried.
I did a few classes, a women'sclass, and I recognize, I'm
like, I actually think I likethis.
This is crazy.
Jiu Jitsu.
What?
What am I doing?
SPEAKER_00 (50:08):
That's awesome.
SPEAKER_02 (50:09):
And then so I feel like that's been a tool for me
is being able to just bephysically active, recognizing
I'm doing stuff to make myselfphysically strong as well as
mentally and spiritually strong,and just really trying to
address all of the aspects ofmyself as a person and getting
to the roots of me, who I am.
I tried all Reiki therapy in thelast year.
(50:31):
Energy healing is basically whatit is, and it's based off of the
belief that our body haschakras.
If you're an anime fight fan,the word chakra may be familiar
to you, but it's basically howthey describe it at anime
episodes.
Everyone has these like energycenters that run through them in
their body in differentlocations.
(50:51):
And if one of those chakras isif some whatever happens to you
as a person, it impacts thatchakra that you have.
And so the my Reiki therapisttold me when I went for my first
session that he they he couldtell that my root chakra was
like misaligned, and your rootchakra is like in your pelvic
(51:12):
area, it's like your base.
And so whatever happens to youwhen you are a child, based off
of that belief system ofchakras, that forms, that forms
the experiences you have as achild forms the the root of like
the basic foundation of yourroot root chakra being
developed.
So if you've experienced traumawhen you are a child, then your
(51:34):
root chakra is going to have notthe best spin, basically, of
energy that in that impacts theother chakras that line up
throughout your throughout yourbody.
Um, kind of like how gears in abite, or like gears do, like one
spins with the other.
That's how chakras they they go.
So if one is a little bit wonky,the rest are gonna turn a little
(51:55):
bit wonky, is the best way todescribe it.
So that's been a tool I've beenusing too, as well as the gym
there, like mental talk therapywriting, um, and then just being
with people that I trusthonestly are it's therapeutic in
of itself, and finding thosepeople and recognizing that
like, you know, not everyonemight deserve it.
(52:18):
It's kind of like sometimes itfeels like not everyone deserves
to hear your story.
Like you've their theirenergies, like you can't just
trust anyone.
At least that's how I feel rightnow at this point in my journey.
That I can't just trust anyoneif I'm sitting one-on-one with
someone to tell my story to.
That's something that I have tofeel propelled to disclose that
(52:40):
dark, dark part of my lifefeeling still with them.
But it's different, like forsomething with this podcast, I
get to touch people, just somany people, and I don't I'm and
you're choosing as a listener tolisten to my story, and that's
different.
But that's one thing I'verecognized that not everyone
(53:02):
might deserve to hear yourstory, it feels I you know that
thank you for kind of reallyexplaining your tools.
SPEAKER_00 (53:08):
I was gonna ask, like what resources, and you
just explained that to the tea.
And I've used Reiki, I've doneholistic sound bar therapies,
you know, I've done likemassages are very important,
even getting a mani petty, youknow, making myself feel
beautiful, right?
Those are all things you can do.
And I've even acupuncture.
I did a 10-week program foracupuncture because I going
through menopause, and so thathas helped me not only with my
(53:30):
menopause, it's helped me tosleep better, and and just that
just knowing that I wasreleasing something through
that, through those, through thethe needles.
I was just like feeling so free.
And so I've tried so many thingsas well.
And I guess to you know, to wrapup and as we're wrapping up, I
just want to say what I'm mostgrateful for, sunshine today is
that you trusted me with yourstory.
(53:53):
You being here today has reallyallowed you to touch the masses,
right?
And I just want to say thank youfrom the bottom of my heart.
What I'm most grateful for isthe power of connection, the
power of our voices, thestrength that you carry, right?
You know, you call it karma, Icall it divine appointment,
divine alignment.
You know, God brought ustogether.
(54:14):
I that's what I believe.
And I'm so grateful that forthat person that bought the
book, that you could read thebook.
I'm grateful that we became, youknow, kind of in this mentorship
program, but a true friendship.
You know, we have built arelationship, a friendship.
And I can't wait to continue towatch you thrive in this life
journey, in your healingjourney, you know, watch you
(54:37):
find, hopefully, right, the loveof your life, you know, bear
children, get married, you know,maybe get married, then bear
children, whichever route youwant to take.
You know, there's no in my mind,like right or wrong way.
I've done it all types of ways,right?
But it's like I really wish thatfor your life, you know, and I'm
so excited to just be a part ofit, even if it's that small part
(54:58):
of it.
But I know like I'm here foryou.
And I just want to say thankyou, like you said, to my
listeners for you know, justsharing and being here and
listening and taking the time.
And just thank you.
That's what I'm grateful fortoday.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, Candace.
Thank you.
All right, everyone.
Well, thank you all for tuningin to another episode of
Unspoken Conversations withCandace.
(55:19):
Make sure you stay connectedwith me on my socials, on my
website, and we'll see you nexttime.
Thank you very much.
Bye, everyone.
Thank you so much for listeningto this conversation about
healing, encouragement, andsupport.
Trust that there is power inspeaking your truth and sharing
your experience with othersbecause you can have an impact
(55:42):
or even save someone's life.
Follow me on Facebook andInstagram to stay engaged in our
unspoken conversations withCandace.
And if you have been impacted bytrauma and need tools to heal,
consider purchasing a copy of mybook titled Unspoken available
on Amazon.
Thanks again, and remember,you're not alone.
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