S4 E6: How Trauma, Faith, And Boundaries Built A Woman "Unshakable" with Rossie

In this powerful episode of Unspoken: Conversations with Candace, certified life coach and author Rossie Manka shares her journey from surviving abuse, gang involvement, and generational cycles of pain to becoming a resilient mentor, STEM advocate, and soon-to-be published author.

Rosie opens up about:

• Her early life challenges, including abuse, running away, and navigating male-dominated industries.
• The turning points that led her toward faith, healing, and personal growth.
• Her mission to empower women—especially Latinas—to pursue careers in STEM.
• The importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and learning to truly love yourself.

This heartfelt conversation is filled with courage, inspiration, and practical insights for anyone ready to rise above their circumstances and step into their purpose.

⏱ Timestamps
 00:00 – Welcome & Introduction to Rossie Manka
 03:10 – How Rossie Found Her Path into STEM & Civil Engineering
 09:45 – Overcoming Abuse, Gang Involvement & Early Trauma
 18:20 – Healing Through Faith & The Power of Community
 25:05 – Boundaries, Self-Love & Overcoming Insecurity
 33:12 – Generational Cycles, Forgiveness & Letting Go
 40:45 – Writing The Power of Yes & A Woman Unshakable
 47:30 – Collaboration, Advocacy & Survivor Support Events
 54:22 – Candace’s Reflections on Family & Full Circle Blessings
 59:10 – Final Thoughts: Hope, Healing & Moving Forward

No matter where you are in your journey, Rossie’s story is a powerful reminder that healing is possible, faith can restore hope, and your voice can inspire change. If this conversation moves you, share it with someone who needs encouragement, and don’t forget to subscribe for more stories of resilience, empowerment, and unspoken truths.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:10):
Welcome to Unspoken Conversations with Candace,
where we talk openly about tabootopics in order to spark
difficult and uncomfortableconversations, where we allow a
safe place for anyone who hashad trauma to be heard.
Unspoken Conversations withCandace is about speaking your

(00:31):
truth by using your voicebecause you matter.
Welcome everyone to anotherepisode of Unspoken
Conversations with Candace.
I am so honored, humbled.

(00:52):
I have the joy of introducing mynext guest on today's episode.
I have Rosie in my studio.
And you know what I forgot to?
I want to make sure I don'tpronounce your last name
incorrectly.
So Rosie, is it Manca?

SPEAKER_00 (01:07):
So it's Rossi Manka.

SPEAKER_01 (01:09):
Rossi Manka.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10):
Otherwise, it's Rossi Manka.
Rossi Manca.
Okay.
Like Martini and Rossi, thewine.
Where are you going?

SPEAKER_01 (01:16):
Hey, Rossi.
Oh, snap.
Okay.
And so I get to introduce you asa certified coach through the
Few Institute of CertifiedCoaches and the founder and
owner of her own business calledJourney to Alignment Coaching
Services.
She is a personal spirit-ledmentor and a professional

(01:38):
development life coach who alsospecializes in technology
services.
She is passionate about hercommunity where she serves on
different levels of socialservices and education.
Additionally, she is a formercivil engineering aide and a CAD
technician.
Now, what is CAD?
It's computer aided drafting.
Got it.

(01:59):
See, I should have done myhomework.
That's okay.
That's okay.

SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
It's drafting and design.
So back in the day, they used toactually stencil everything and
design it with paper and pen,okay, or paper and pencil.
Now it's all digital.

SPEAKER_01 (02:11):
Perfect.
So CAD technician.
That's awesome.
With experience in both thepublic and private sector.
Now living a life ofentrepreneurship and becoming
the newest co-author of fewpublications in the book titled
The Power of Yes, launching in2024.
How exciting is that?

(02:31):
And in the midst of writing herown book, A Woman Unshakable.
I'd say unstoppable, too.
Okay.
That's Candace's edition of thebook, where she tells her story
of how she overcame a life ofreckless living despite going
around familiar mountains timeand time again.
She is an overcomer of guilt,shame, anger, abuse, and drugs

(02:55):
and alcohol.
Once a runaway team who wasinvolved in local gangs to a
woman who is confident andresilient on a mission to
empower others in her community.
Wow, bravo.
Thank you for being here on myshow.
This is awesome.
Thank you for having me soexcited.
Thank you so much.

(03:15):
So, yeah, so now that I'veintroduced you to the listeners,
just so they kind of get to knowyou, your background, which I
think is very important, but Ialso like to share how we met
because I think it's alwaysabout divine design, the power
of connection.
And when you meet people, and Ibelieve whether it's for a
season or a lifetime, right?
And I believe we're gonna be alifetime.

(03:36):
Yeah.
Because when I met you, it wasan instant connection.
We were both at the FewConference that Kimberly
Krueger.
Shout out to Kimberly.
Um and I've only called herKimberly, but Kim Mama Kim.
Um, and she had the uh few theFew Women Conference.
Um and that was in November of2022.

(03:57):
Yes, and that was the first timeI attended the event as a
vendor, and then I had the VIP,and then just you know, her
ministry and what she's doing.
It's amazing, and just theimpact that she's having.
So that's how we're aligned andconnected.
We both go to the conference,and so now we're hungry.
Yeah, and we're standing inline, getting ready to get our
food, and we started talking.

(04:18):
Right.
Latinas in line, hungry becausewe're foodies.

SPEAKER_00 (04:23):
We love to eat.
We love to eat.
I love to eat.
Yes, we love to eat thosehomemade flour tortillas, yes,
and then we both discovered andrealized like, what do you do
for your profession?

SPEAKER_01 (04:34):
We started talking about our IT background, and
then we were like, we had thatin common and corporate, and
sometimes you know, finding yourplace in corporate and the
struggles of more of amale-dominated, and we just like
hit it off, and I'm just sohonored that we just had a
conversation, and then I said, Ithink you'd be great on my

(04:54):
podcast, and so here we are.

SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Yeah, here we are definitely awesome women in the
trade in the design world.

SPEAKER_01 (05:02):
So tell me, yeah.
So I want to learn a little bitmore because like I said, you
know, when we were when I wasreading your bio and and I was
looking at it, I'm like, I justlove the fact the whole
engineering, like promotingSTEM.
I think you and I talked aboutthe importance of higher
education and the importance ofof women of color getting and
taking their place in the STEMfield.
So tell me a little bit, how didyou end up in STEM in

(05:22):
engineering?

SPEAKER_00 (05:23):
Right, right.
So um I went to high school atSouth Division High School, and
you had to pick uh between fourdifferent tracks in high school.
And I knew that I didn't likethe healthcare because I don't
like blood.
So right away I'm like, yeah,healthcare is not good for me.
And I wasn't very artisticeither.
So I'm like, okay, I reallydon't like the artistic world.

(05:43):
And then it was between businessand technology, and I said, Oh,
I could really see myself doingtechnology.
I was always into like making myown cumbia tapes and just using
the computers at home or atschool in the library.
I really was gifted and talentedin in using technology, so I
said, I'm just gonna try this.
And so I had a professor that hedid coding and I loved his

(06:08):
class.
Like we did, it was more likeCNC and coding.
We told the computer how to cutwood and what and different
things we could make from it.
So I was really infatuated bythat.
And I said, I could really usethis later in life, and I don't
want to lose it.
And um, then I decided um I'mgonna go to college.

(06:30):
And I looked at local colleges,I found MATC and I looked at all
their technology-drivenprograms, and I saw civil
engineering.
And I'm not gonna lie, at thatpoint, I'm like, what is civil
engineering?
It looks really interesting.
I I don't want to do electricalor mechanical, but civil looks
very interesting.
And then I researched it and itwas more of the terrain, the

(06:52):
ground, pipes, sewer pipes.
So now I'm like a sewer pipefanatic.
Like you ask me about themunicipal sewer.

SPEAKER_01 (07:00):
Don't look at my sewer pipes in this house here.

SPEAKER_00 (07:02):
Yeah, and like where they go and then the process,
like I can talk your ear off allday about that.
So I took civil engineering andI went to school.
Um, at first, I was um, well,let me backtrack.
I had my son, so that was alittle hard because I had him at
20 years old and I was at MATC,and I knew that I wanted to

(07:27):
continue to go to college, butnow I had to take care of a
baby.
And during this time, um, me andum his father um were undergoing
some difficulties which broughtabuse.
So I knew that I needed to fightfor something better and to get
out of the abuse, and I found Ifound a safe place at school at

(07:51):
MATC.
And I was able to put my son indaycare, and I was able to go to
the daycare between classes andbreastfeed him, which was huge
because he was a baby, he wasonly six weeks old, and so I
just I loved it.
I was able to get there in themorning, drop him off, go to my

(08:12):
engineering classes, and then onbreak, I would go visit him, and
so that pushed me further to tofinish what I set out to do, and
even though I had chaos at homeor chaos in my life, um, just
that was my safe place.
And and just seeing um the otherpeople finishing school and

(08:33):
working hard just kind ofignited my fire to keep going.
And then my son seeing his faceand then being able to have that
opportunity.
Um, so I'm never againstgovernment help.
I think that use it so that wayyou can get to a higher level.
Um, and I definitely used it.
I was able to get free childcare, which was huge for me at

(08:53):
that time, and that actuallyhelped me um continue to go to
school and finish.
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (09:00):
So that's awesome.
I I can relate to what you werespeaking out, you know.
We this is the common threadthat we were having when we were
talking was, you know, I was ayoung mother.
By the time I was 19, I had twogirls, you know, me and their
dad were we were in arelationship, but we were
dealing with my childhoodtrauma.
I dropped the bomb on him.
You read the book, so you werelike, Oh my god, definitely.
And you know, that's where it'slike when you talked about

(09:22):
public assistance and and aid,right?
I know that I remember gettingfree childcare until I made like
$6.50 an hour, which back in the90s was nothing.
Like you think you can live onthat, you can't.
But as soon as I started earningjust 50 cents, a dollar more,
$1.50, they like cut you off, orthey say you have to pay a
percentage, or now you have topay$200 towards the allotment

(09:44):
that they were still helping youwith, right?
So it's all these incomequalifications.
And I mean, luckily, like youfind a place that embraces you.
You know, my mom worked at thepost office, she was my
supplemental income.
You know, she was the oneworking overtime so that she
could provide me and my girls abetter living, you know.
And thank God M A T C, like yousaid, breastfeeding.

(10:05):
Yeah, I bottle fed.
So I just, you know, I didn'teven understand the importance
of breastfeeding.
You know, my daughter's nowgrown.
I think they're probably yourage.
I feel like I could be yourmother.
I could be mama Candace.
You could be Mama Candace.
She's got a Mama Kim and a mama.
And it's just like because wewere talking about motherhood.
I was sharing how my girls areboth adults now and and having

(10:27):
families and the importance ofbreastfeeding.
And, you know, we had aconversation recently about that
and how you know I feel like Ireally wasn't present when they
were growing up.
And now as a grandmother, I'mmore present.
So it's like I get a redo sortof sure, sure, sure.
But yeah, but the importance ofyou know, education, as you
mentioned, the importance of,you know, you did your research.
What is engineering?
What can I do in the trades?

(10:49):
And then I think you also talkedabout how you did project
management, like you did a lotof project management, you know,
and I I know that's somethingyou and I also talked about, and
how we loved managing andoverseeing right things get
done.

SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
Right, right.
So I was a constructioninspector.
So my title was engineering aidresident inspector.
So every construction projectneeded a project engineer and
needed a resident inspector.
So somebody that lived here inMilwaukee, um, and that's
qualified to go out there andwatch and oversee what was going
on in the field.

(11:21):
So that um went from um diggingup the terrain, how many depths
do we need to bury this pipe?
Now, because Milwaukee is umwe're like in that winter zone,
pipes have to be buried at atminimum five feet below grade
because of the frost.
And so it's very um crucial tomake sure that the contractors

(11:45):
are definitely putting ourinfrastructure where they
belong.
Also, because it's all taxdollars, right?
We pay for that.
So we want to make sure thatwhat's going in the ground, um,
what's supplying um waterresources or our uh our um waste
is is gonna get to the place andnot have these pipe breakages.
Right.
Um, so that's very important,and then just making sure that

(12:07):
they're padding and bedding thepipes and cradling them.
It's kind of like a baby, likeyou gotta cradle these things
good because um you hear ofthese pipe breaks and these pipe
bursts, and why, why not?
Um Well, and you gotta have astrong foundation if you're
gonna build anything on top ofanything, right?
Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 (12:21):
And that's part of life, and that's in structure,
construction.

SPEAKER_00 (12:24):
The foundation is definitely important.
So I really liked going um tothe job sites.
A lot of times, um thecontractors would be like, Oh,
um, what school do you go to?
Are you an intern?
I'm like, oh no, I'm theresident inspector.
Like, I'm boss.

SPEAKER_01 (12:41):
Actually, girl, tell me how you would introduce them
yourself.
Do it, say it on this podcast.
It's like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 (12:46):
They'd be like, Hi, I'm Rossi, I'm the resident
inspector.
Um, what time did you get here?
Who's your crew?
Do you have the plans in frontof you?
Where's all the materials?
And so they felt a little umRossi in the house.
Yeah, Rossi in the house.
Yeah, they were a littleintimidated by me and stuff.
And I'm and there was timeswhere um there was contractors
that didn't like me at all.

(13:07):
Like they would talk behind myback as soon as I walked away.
And I got to a comfort levelwhere I was like, I'm okay with
that.
You know, not everyone's gonnalike you, and that's okay.
But I'm still here to do my job.
I'm still here to supervise andto oversee.
And um, so and also making thoseconnections with the
contractors, asking themquestions, because we're both

(13:28):
trying to get to the same place.
Right.
We have one goal, and that's tofinish this job and do it
effectively and do it the waythat it's supposed to be laid
out.

SPEAKER_01 (13:37):
And um well, kudos to you for handling that with
grace because a lot of times wecan well, I'm gonna say Latinas,
I can get snappy.
Yeah, right.
Well, because our culture comesout, you know, where you know we
get passionate or you know,maybe we get a little voicerous
and it's like taken asaggressive, or oh yeah, you
know, she don't know how to talkto someone.
No, I need to be firm and standmy ground.

SPEAKER_00 (13:58):
In the confidence, too.
In the confidence.
Like I so I um was a runawayteen and I've had I was abused
and um also also sexuallyabused.
So when it came to men, I hadvery low confidence, I was very
insecure.
And so going into thesemale-dominated traits taught me
to have so much more confidence.

(14:19):
Like before, I would put my headdown, bury my head, and not be
able to have that eye contact umwithout being profusely sweating
or being nervous, or how arethey gonna look at me?
How are they gonna see me?
So I felt like um God put me inthose places, say, no, honey,
you need to have confidence.
You need to be able to standyour ground, you need to be able
to look eye to eye when youspeak to someone, and even those

(14:43):
men that are that do have likethose PhDs or those master's
degrees that have that, um, thatare older than you, that um have
that experience because we'reall the same.
It's how do you carry yourselfin the world?
You have to have that confidencebecause we're all equal, right?
And um, we can we can have thatconfidence.

(15:03):
So it's important.

SPEAKER_01 (15:05):
And you know, with this podcast, like when I
created this platform, you know,every time, you know, taboo
topics.
We talk about abuse, right?
Sexual abuse, child abuse, youknow, all of that, the things we
talk about a lot of differenttopics.
You know, anyone who's attrauma, you know, a safe place
to be heard.
That's why I formed this podcastto tell stories.
But also, the one thing I loveabout that I'm learning as I do

(15:25):
every episode is that each guestbrings that light, right?
To your situation and how youwent, you know, you're a
thriver, you're surviving,you're thriving in this world,
in this life.
You've taken opportunities andyou've grown from them.
And that's what this podcast,right?
Healing, encouragement, supportto tell other people listening,
hey, Rossi can do it, Candacecan do it, you can do it.

SPEAKER_00 (15:48):
You can do it.

SPEAKER_01 (15:49):
And and we're too Lathina's saying, get into the
STEM field, take your place.
Right there, it's possible.
Go to MATC, go to your localcolleges, you know, get a
community, rally people aroundyou.
Right.
And I think it takes courage forus to speak out about the abuse.
Right.
So let's talk a let's transitiona little bit into your trauma.
Sure.
You know, whatever you'recomfortable sharing, you know,
the impact that it had.
I know we talked aboutrelationships and just that

(16:11):
journey.
And then ultimately, I know youand I connected big on our
faith, which is us being at thefew women conference, being
there to be in our spiritualspace and to be able to praise
and worship.
And and again, right, I alwayssay as a disclaimer, this
podcast isn't like a religiouspodcast, it's more of what we
believe in and what we'realigned with.
And I'm just that type ofperson, whether you believe in,

(16:32):
you know, like my my grandson'sNative American Indian, you
know, he says mom, grandma,creator, yeah, you know, or the
universe, or people that believein the law of attraction.
I believe it's it's kind of allconnected, right?
And in my mind, I have my faith.
I believe in God.
Like that's that's me.
I believe in in God.
So let's talk a little bit aboutthat.

SPEAKER_00 (16:50):
Yeah.
So um I have I come from a lineof um alcohol uh drinkers in my
family.
Um, actually, my aunt, shepassed away at 40 years old from
alcoholism.
So that um that touches ourheart deeply.
And um, a few other people inour family still struggle with

(17:12):
that.
And um, my grandma was in prisonfor 10 years.
So she went to prison when mymother was four.
Wow.
And so my mother didn't have afather, and she grew up
basically as an orphan.
She didn't have a mother orfather for those years of her
life.
And then when grandma did comeout of prison 10 years later,

(17:33):
she didn't know her anymore.
And she had built to theseboundaries and these walls where
when she did come out, shedidn't want to see her.
Why?
Because she was still hurt aboutthe actions that she chose to
take, knowing that she hadchildren, and so she has
forgiven my grandma, rest inpeace.
Um, but that affected my mom alot, um, especially because she

(17:55):
lived from place to place.
Um, we did my grandma had sevenchildren, so the oldest sibling,
which is my Aunt Ruby, took careof the younger siblings, but my
Aunt Ruby was 20 now, and shehad her two kids, and then she
was taking care of the fouryounger ones.
Wow.
And so um at 20 years old, canyou imagine?
Can you imagine that?
Yeah, and then still living herlife.

(18:17):
So, and then and then um westill had the the older siblings
still taking part, but like inand out.
Um, one of my aunts was in um afoster care system too.
And so um we we've come from aline of like abuse, alcoholism,
and and things of that nature.
So my mother was she was strong,and um, I give her kudos because

(18:42):
she never did fall intoalcoholism.
She did um did suffer fromdepression, okay.
Um cold hearted, and I believethat stemmed from those years
where she didn't have a motheror a father.
So when we um were growing up,um, I know that she did the best
that she could.

(19:03):
Um, but the cycle repeateditself.
My father was an alcoholic.
Um, he actually was a drugdealer in Milwaukee.
And um, my mom finally left andwhen I was five, she at that
time it was uh the three of us,so three girls, single mother.
She worked, um, she worked onejob, but then at times when she

(19:23):
needed money, she would work twojobs.
And my mom never drove, so shetook two buses to work, um,
sometimes leaving at 5 30 in themorning and then coming home
later.
So we didn't have that.
Um we we had a mother, right?
But we didn't really have thatmentor.

(19:44):
Okay.
We sort of we lived in MilwaukeeSouth Side, and we found that
mentorship in people in thecommunity, and sometimes that
wasn't good.
So um I grew up hanging aroundwith local gangs.
I I found the connection and thelove.
Um, as I said, my mom didn'treally grow up with that loving

(20:08):
nature, so we didn't grow upwith that loving nature.
Yeah, and so we were findingthat love in other places that
we should not have.
So I um remember being attractedto the gang life, hanging out um
with people, and then I starteddoing drugs.
Um, I started drinking, I ranaway at 15, and so I I got a

(20:30):
taste of the life and I likedit.
And so I remember at the age of16, I got drunk one time and I
was date raped.
And I remember um being sohumiliated and shameful.
And when um the man was donewith me, because I remember
telling him, get off of me, getoff of me, and he would was

(20:52):
saying no.
And finally I screamed, and hemust have got scared, got off of
me, changed right away, grabbedwhatever I could, and this was
after the second person, and Ium ran outside.
I remember, and I rememberwalking down sixth streets, and
it was cold, and I I didn't havemy jacket, and I just remember

(21:14):
hugging my shoulders and walkingand just feeling so disgusting,
feeling so shameful, and Iremember crying, and um at that
time cell phones were justbecoming a big hit.
So I didn't have a cell phoneand I didn't want to go home, so
I ended up going to one of thehomegirls' houses, and um, I
went there and I didn't tellanybody at that time what had

(21:35):
happened.
Well you said this was yourfirst incident or second?
So being date rape, this was myfirst incident.
Okay.
Um I was molested when I wasnine.
Okay, by friends, family by aclose, uh a close family friend.

SPEAKER_01 (21:49):
Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 (21:50):
Um we lived in a duplex.

SPEAKER_01 (21:51):
Sorry, I didn't mean for you to disclose if you
needed to.
I just wanted to clarify.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (21:54):
We lived in a duplex and the gentleman lived on the
second floor, and as kids, weused to run um back and forth
all over.
And um one day I was upstairsand um he was in the shower and
I was sneaking around in thehouse looking for candy and
stuff like that in the kitchen,and then so we we would do that.
We would run all over becausethese were family friends of

(22:16):
ours, so we trusted them.
Right.
And um I remember him coming outof the shower, dressed and fully
clothed and everything.
And um, he says, What are youdoing?
And I was like, I'm just lookingfor candy, and he was like, Oh,
I don't got none.
And then I said, Okay.
And then as a little girl, I'mlike, okay, I'm gonna go down.
And he was like, Um, oh, butcome here, come here.

(22:36):
And I said, Okay.
And he goes, Um, do you want toplay a game?
And I said, sure.
And he goes, uh, have you everheard of yoga?
And I was like, no, I don't knowwhat yoga is.
And he goes, Oh, but let me showyou.
And I say, Okay, sure.
And he goes, Oh, lay there onthe floor.
And so I lay there on the floor,um, um with my like chest out
back on the floor.

(22:58):
And um, he goes, I'm gonna showyou a yoga move.
And I say, Okay.
And he gets on top of me, butface the other way.
And he puts his genitals in myface.
And I'm like, I knew rightthere, I'm like, this is not,
this is not right.
And I'm like, get off of me.

(23:18):
And um he got scared and hesaid, Um, don't tell anyone.
And I said, No, and I randownstairs, and I remember
telling my mom and my grandma atthe time, and they were furious,
and he came down because he musthave heard the commotion, and he
said I was lying.
He says that I was up there inhis house when I wasn't supposed

(23:42):
to, and that I was trying tosteal his stuff, and that I was
lying.
And so my mom right there said,Well, you better not do
something like that, and thatwas it.
To him or to him, to him, tohim, and that was it, and then I
wasn't allowed to go up thereagain, so that was the first
time, and then I remember hestill lived there for another
couple months, and so I reallydidn't get that justice, you

(24:05):
know.
He got away with it, and I don'tknow if he ever did anything
like that to any other kids, butso from a young age, I learned
that men only wanted one thing,and that wasn't the first
attempt.
Um, my grandma um liked to go tothe bars to see her friends, and
so she I love my grandma, butshe had a little bit too much

(24:28):
compassion for her friendsbecause she would bring her her
old fogy friends and they wouldsleep in our basement.
And so when um me and my sisterswould go down to the basement to
get our laundry, they would bethere like drunk and passed out.
Well, one one day, um one of theguys snatched snatched my
younger sister.
And so we knew right there too,like, okay, this is a a survive,

(24:50):
this is like a fight or flight,you know, type thing.
So we and it's so sad that at ayoung age that we had this
revelation.
We were supposed to just it'ssad that we we and it's sad
because we started making it ajoke, like, see who can run down
there faster and get the laundrybefore what's his name.

(25:11):
Like a contest or a game.
Okay, it was.
It was like a contest or a game.
And so I would tell my sisters,you distract them so I can go
get the laundry out of the outof the laundry, put it in the in
the dryer, whatever it is, andthen we see who can run up the
fastest so that way we can getout of there quick.
Because we would be afraid, butlike I said, we would make we
started making it into a contestto see how we can get out of
there quicker.

(25:31):
And so um um, I how do I putthis?
Mom and grandma knew, and asmuch as my mom hated that my
grandma would bring her drunkfriends home to sleep in our
basement.
Um, my mom didn't do anything umbecause my grandma, again, she

(25:53):
was a single mom, and my grandmawas the one helping her with um
babysitting us, taking care ofus, and that conflict.
Um, she I think she would justwanted to avoid that conflict.
Yeah.
And um, she and my mom will sayit.
She goes, Yeah, I hated whatgrandma would bring, would bring
her friends, would bring herfriends over.
And I think at that point therewas really nothing she could do.

SPEAKER_01 (26:14):
Yeah.
And and sometimes as mothers, wemake decisions that we're not
maybe in hindsight, we're notproud of.
I had that same situation withmy daughters, you know, having
my abuser around them when Ididn't want to face that.
And I I write about that in thebook, and that's something even
to this day that I know my myold my oldest daughter, my
youngest daughter, we've hadconversations around, but I

(26:34):
again this whole process is alifelong journey, right?
And I am more open to let's havethose conversations because I
see things differently.
Now they had a lens as a child,just like you're disclosing and
talking about your lens as achild about what you maybe
didn't agree with, right?
And again, in and I feel inhomes, like you know, I was
taught what happens here stayshere.

(26:55):
Yeah, you know, you don't airour dirt or laundry, right?
All those things, right?
And that's not appropriate.
We need to make sure we'rehaving safe places for our
families.
So, but exactly.
Thank you for sharing.
I know then we talked, you know,about relationships.
Then you know, you go into yourrelationship space, you start
dating.
How did you trust people?
You know, when you starteddating, if you felt or did you

(27:16):
just never trust guys?
I never did.
You never did.

SPEAKER_00 (27:18):
I never did.
I was very promiscuous because Ithought that that was um how
they were gonna love me.
So I went into relationships andsex was the number one thing.
Yeah, I'm like, um, if I givemyself up, they're gonna love me
even more, or they're gonnathey're gonna take me seriously.
And that's not it at all.
It's not it at all.
It's such a lie from the enemy,it's such a lie.

(27:39):
And so, yeah, and it and I Iwent that way for a really long
time.
And um it's horrible.
And I got burnt a couple times.
And um, yeah, I really, I reallyregret that season of my life.
But again, it made us stronger,it made us um more resilient,
and it's helping us to buildstronger communities, to build

(28:00):
stronger women, to know yourworth, to know who you are, to
cherish your body, honor yourbody.
And when the time is right, whenyou meet that man that loves you
unconditionally, that's notgonna abuse you, that's not
gonna hurt you, that's not gonnacall you names, that's not gonna
cheat on you with other women.
And it's just, it's so huge,just to take care.

(28:21):
And and that goes for men too.
Right.
You know, right?
It goes both ways.
So just to just to know who youare and find find happiness
within yourself.
See, a lot of times um peopledon't know what to do with
themselves.
And it's like there's so muchout there.
If you would just get you, youwould just take the time to
really, really know yourself.
And I've told my younger sister,because now I have a younger

(28:42):
sister, and she's dating, and Iand I say, Sophie, really,
really get to know yourself.
Like go to um art shows, go togalleries, go to travel or
travel.
Yes, yes, do those things, andthen you're gonna attract the
person that loves you for whoyou are.

SPEAKER_01 (28:57):
And no, I totally agree with everything that you
said.
I think that it does make usstronger and that we have the
courage to speak out about it,right?
We're advocating for ourselves,but also being a resource and
advocating for others because alot of people do live in silence
and think and carry that shame,the guilt, the fear because they
just don't want to admit thatthat happened to them.

(29:18):
And it's okay to be silent,right?
I mean, I'm all about whenyou're ready, but again, I feel
there's so much power when youdo disclose, even if it's to one
person or you share with someoneyou can trust, or write a
letter.
Like I've had some of mysurvivor, my community friends
say, you know, other survivors,write a letter and then burn it,
or write a letter and tell themhow that abuser how you feel.
Yeah.

(29:38):
Um, get it out there so that youknow you can have that weight
lifted off of you because thatis so freeing.
Yeah.
When you do that.

SPEAKER_00 (29:44):
Yeah, because we start to collect all the
baggage, we start to collect allthose burdens, all those
emotional ties, and you justwant to be free and let it go.
You just feel so much lighterand you just feel so much
better.

SPEAKER_01 (29:55):
And it can affect your health, your mental, your
spiritual, your physical, all ofit.
It's your body knows whatyou're, you know, when you carry
that baggage.
And so you know, you talked alot about like generational,
like we talk about thegenerational curses and how we
grow from that and how we aregonna be different individuals,
right?
With our families.
And I know that was a learningcurve for me.

(30:15):
And uh at 51 years old, I'mstill learning, right?
How to be a different parent.
I have to parent differently.
You know, my kids are adults, sothey're not children.
So I have to parent in adifferent way.
They're like, Mom, you know, youknow you're always gonna be my
mom, but you don't need toparent me, you know.
Yeah, just be there for me.
And I'm like, you know, you'reright.
Why don't I had that mentalityfor a long time that I was
always still right?
And they're like, mom, we'readults, we have our own

(30:37):
opinions, we're on our ownjourney.
And then you talked aboutboundaries.
I thought that was importanttalking about boundaries and
setting those boundaries foryourself with others.
I think that's important, youknow.
Trust.
I think a lot of survivors,thrivers, you know, when they're
in that space, it's hard forthem to trust, but learning to
love yourself.
I think that was your messagethat I heard.

SPEAKER_00 (30:57):
That is, learning to love yourself.
Yeah, and and letting go of thatinsecurity.
I um will disclose this.
I didn't fully let insecurity gountil last Sunday when I was at
church.
Um, our pastor said, I want youto bring something that's
hindering you from movingforward, whether that be a
little like um like a littleartifact, like a little trinket

(31:19):
or something that you really,really want to get rid of.
And see me, I'm like, well, youknow, I've I gotten rid of a lot
of things.
And then um then I realized, no,I still haven't got rid of
insecurity.
I feel I still feel insecuresometimes.
And yeah, we may look good fromthe outside, but in the inside,

(31:40):
we can still be insecure.
And I was, I was, I was insecureabout myself, about my body.
And I just I let that go on thealtar that Sunday.
I said, you know what, I'm notcarrying insecurity with me
anymore.
I'm leaving it here.
And honestly, Candace, I feltlike such a weight lift off of
me.
Like I feel so good.

(32:00):
Like I'm I'm I don't feelinsecure anymore.
It's powerful.

SPEAKER_01 (32:04):
Yes, and we, I mean, I think I lived in insecurity my
whole life.
I remember like I had a bigbutt, I had this long hair, I
didn't think people liked me.
Like I was insecure inrelationships, and it was like a
self-discovery.
I had to really learn to lovemyself, right?
And I started taking better careof myself.

(32:26):
I'm not a size six, you know,but I know I go to the gym, I
exercise, I meditate, right?
I go to therapy, I do Reikisessions, I do my prayer, I do
my devotionals.
I'm making sure that I'm takingcare of me mentally, physically,
emotionally, spiritually, all ofthis, all of them because I have
to make sure that because thiswork that we're doing, this is

(32:48):
heavy work, right?
Right?
Right.
And there's this responsibilitythat you have with this work
that we do, but I just feel likeI I can't take care of anybody
else unless we take care ofourselves first.
Yeah.
So that we're better for ourcommunity when we show up.

SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
Yeah.
And that's a form ofself-self-care.
Self-care, self-love.
It's okay, it's okay to say no.
I was just in a self-worth uhsession that we just did at Arts
at Large.
And the biggest thing wasself-worth and self-care, and
putting those boundaries andtaking care of yourself first,
because then you're not going tobe able to take care of anyone
else if you don't take care ofyourself first.

SPEAKER_01 (33:20):
And it's not selfish.
No, you have to do it.
Absolutely.
It's selfless because then youshow up better.
And I always, so as a lifecoach, and I know you're a coach
and mentor as well.
And I'm my one of my things thatI tell my clients is or anyone
who I think needs to hear thisis it's okay to say to someone,
you know what, I love you, but Ilove myself more.

(33:41):
Right.
And and when you can honestlyfeel that and not make it be
cocky or like you're all likeall in yourself and you're so
like, you know, this righteousperson.
No, it's like I love you and Ilove what you stand for.
I love you, relationship, I loveyou job, I love you, whatever
the task is.
I love you because I have a fearof missing out.

unknown (34:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (34:02):
But I love myself more right now.
So that means I gotta take careof me.
Right, right.
And so I I preach that a lot.
Yeah.
Even to myself, I still have toremind myself.
I have to talk the talk.

SPEAKER_00 (34:10):
Yeah, and walk.
Exactly.
And Mama Kim says, you have toask yourself two questions.
Are you willing and are youable?
Because just because we'rewilling doesn't mean we're able.
And what does that mean?
That means do you have the time,the money, and the materials to
be able to do what you arewilling to do?
And if the answer is no, thenyou know your answer.

(34:32):
Don't do it.
And give yourself some time.
You don't have to give somebodyan answer right away.
You can say, Oh, okay, thankyou.
Let me think about this and I'llget back to you.
And then you let them that givethem that time frame tomorrow or
in a week or whatever it is thatyou need.
Don't feel bad about tellingpeople that.
That that's a form of self-care.
Right, right.
Awesome.
Thank yes.

SPEAKER_01 (34:51):
I love that.
I love it too.
So, as far as like, so I knowwe've talked a little bit about
your story, relationships, yourjourney, your your background.
You know, we talked about ourfaith.
We touched on that from yourhealing journey.
So, when did you do that deepdive that I need to get mental
health services or I need totherapy, or was it just your
faith that got you through tothis point?

SPEAKER_00 (35:11):
Sure.
Um, it initially began when mymarriage fell apart.
Okay.
So um I f I feel like I attractabusers in an odd way.
So I um uh my husband and I, um,so we both stemmed from anger.
Like we had anger built up.
And I'm not saying it's right,the abuse is never right.

(35:33):
No, no.
Um, he grew up with an alcoholicfather that used to beat his
mom.
And one day he got mad, grabbeda bat, and beat his dad.
So he he also came from a verytraumatic childhood.
So you bring those twointogether.
Exactly.
And it's just like, oh, yeah, wewe let's beat each other up when
we're when we're angry, youknow, it and it is what it is.
And I'm gonna I'm gonna speakthe truth because a lot of times

(35:55):
we just lash out in our anger.
And so there was times where Ilashed out on him, there was
times that he lashed out on me,and it was just a toxic
environment.
And so we just we separated.
Well, I actually kicked him out,and I said, this is enough.
And um I remember just feelinglike crushed, like uh like in

(36:17):
despair.
My my marriage is broken.
I feel like a failure.
Yeah, right.
I now have two kids.
Um, I don't know where to go,well, I do know where to go, but
at the moment I'm like, I just Idon't know what to do.
And and what do people do whenthey don't know what to do when
they're in the the hole thatthey dug themselves in?
They typically look forspiritual help.
So I said, I'm going to church.

(36:38):
You know, I was raised in churchat a young age because I have an
aunt that is a firm believer.
So she used to take me or takeme and my siblings um on
Sundays.
And so um I'm like, I'm going togo back and I'm gonna be um for
real this time.
And so I went and I remember umsitting way in the back because

(37:00):
I'm like, I'm just gonna go inthere, sit in the back, because
I don't even feel like I deserveto be here, but I'm gonna go
anyways.
And um I remember um a song wasplaying and I just wept and I
cried and I because I felt sohopeless.
And in that moment, I just feltI just felt like God's arms were

(37:20):
hugging me and I just felt hispresence and I just felt so good
and I just knew things weregonna be okay.
And I just I I listened to thesong, I let it all out, and that
was the start of my healingjourney.
That was six years ago.
But when it really, reallyexcelled was two years ago when
I met Few, because that was justtaking women to another level.

(37:45):
It was like really digging in.

SPEAKER_01 (37:47):
And let's talk about what FEW stands for
fellowship of extraordinarywomen.
So fellowship extraordinarywomen.
Yes, and that's Kimberly'sministry, right?

SPEAKER_00 (38:00):
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
And she says because Jesus diedto give us an extraordinary
life.
He put the extra on the ordinaryto empower us for great things.
Right.
And so that was the beginning toacceleration.
So I remember just being sohungry.
And in the book, The Power ofYes, I'm not gonna tell you here
what triggered it.

SPEAKER_01 (38:21):
But what triggered you're gonna put yes or plug in
it.
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (38:24):
Yes.
So there was a call on my life,and um, that will be in the
book, The Power of Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (38:28):
Um to be launched and published in 2024.
Yes, and this podcast episodewill be launched in 2024.
I don't know what month, what,but this is what I believe.
Okay.
Divine design, God's plan.
It'll launch when it's supposedto, whether it's gonna be right
before the book or right duringthe book, right?
But it's gonna be perfect timingfor you to then put this on your
socials to then market yourself,market our stories, market one

(38:51):
another.
Yes, because we are few.

SPEAKER_00 (38:53):
Hey.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So though the call, there was acall, a strong call.
And so um, I just knew, okay, Igotta be accelerated.
I gotta, I'm hungry now.
I'm desperate now.
I'm desperate for healing.
There's so many women that needto hear my story.
There's so many women that needto heal to pull that root out
and just really live anextraordinary life.

(39:14):
But we can't do that if we gotall the junk sitting back in the
back seat.
We gotta get rid of it.

SPEAKER_01 (39:19):
And that's when you said that whole insecurity,
getting rid of it, so you cancontinue to propel forward.
So yes.
Amen.
I love that.
Yes, yes, yes.
So you talked about a couplethings.
So I love what you said aboutthe whole leaving insecurity at
the door.
Yes.
I love that.
Uh, you know, you said somethingthat really struck me.
I sometimes still struggle whereI can go to church and I feel

(39:40):
good.
Like I was born and raisedCatholic, and I still go to my
community, Catholic Churchcommunity.
I know the whole Catholic systemwith the whole priests and the
nuns and all the abuse that hashappened there, right?
And I I get it.
And I know people are like, soCandace, why you know I go for
community, I go for the thepray, but I've also gone to
non-denominational, I've gone toBible studies.
I've I watched Joel Olsne, I doall types of worship.

(40:03):
I go to like the few women'sconference, like you know, where
we are praising and worship at aconference.
So I I don't I'm all inclusive,like I don't discriminate.
I whatever someone's cup of tea,I just say believe in something
and rally around people thatlike you can can uplift you,
which is what I feel, right?
And when you said you didn'teven feel worthy sometimes going

(40:25):
to church or sitting in theback, and I sometimes still
struggle in spaces where it'slike, do I really belong here?
And but then like you remindedme of what you just said is like
no, take your place.
I am an extraordinary woman, andwe are fearfully and wonderfully
made.
And shout out to my cousinStephanie because she's always
encouraged and inspired me, liketo make sure just reading the
Bible and understanding what theBible's saying and and how it

(40:47):
speaks and calls to me.
And and again, I know I'mperfectly imperfect, but I know
I have a purpose for my life.

SPEAKER_00 (40:53):
That's all human.
Everybody makes mistakes, eventhe priests, even the elders.
We all make mistakes.
Even people in ministry, peoplein ministry, people in street.
We all do.
We're all human.
So the the thing to do the mostis lift each other up, I would
say, is pick somebody up whenthey're falling in despair, be

(41:16):
that light for them.

SPEAKER_01 (41:17):
Yes.
The light is where, like I said,when you shine your light on
your darkness, there is so muchpower in that.
Turning our trauma into triumph.
Yes, taking our pain and makingit into our purpose.
Yep.
And then help someone else.
And help someone, and withthat's what we're doing with
this podcast.
Hopefully, whoever's listening,that it's you know possible.
Right, yes, right.
It is awesome.

(41:38):
So now let's talk about we'regonna transition to the book.
I know you read my book, so andthank you for reading it.
And I'll put a plug, please.
If you have read my book, um,it's available on Amazon, uh,
Unspoken by Candace Sanchez, oryou can find it on my website at
www.candassanchez.com.
If you go to my swag store, youcan get an author-signed copy
and I will mail it directly toyou.

(41:59):
And I will promote my swagstore.
I do that to my listeners.
If you haven't visited my swagstore, please go take a look at
my shop.
Um, any of my swag that I dosell, you know, I'm not about
making this like millions ofdollars.
I'm more about the impact andand making change happen with
this narrative, this topic thatwe don't like to talk about,
changing the narrative on thistaboo topic.
But I'd love your feedback on mybook.

(42:20):
Sure for the listeners.

SPEAKER_00 (42:22):
Well, first and foremost, I love the swag
shirts.
I bought one and I love it.
I love wearing it.
Like I actually wore your shirtto the one of the sexual
awareness um by Cynthia Jones.
She's having one this April 8that um the Zablocki Public
Library.
And so it's she's all um aboutsexual awareness, sexual abuse,

(42:42):
and helping um victims come outof it and heal from it.
So I actually wore that recentlyand I'm like, oh, this is
perfect for um for theconference that she did.
So, yes, your book.
Oh, I have to say it, I loveyour book.
It made me cringe a few times.
I'm like, oh, Candace, like Icould feel the emotion.

(43:03):
And I have an uncle who um wasraped as a young boy two times,
and they were by family members.
Um, rest his soul.
He actually died of AIDS.
Um, but when you're when youwere speaking your story in
there, it it almost it's almostas if it brought revelation
about my uncle and what he wentthrough.

SPEAKER_02 (43:25):
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (43:25):
And it just brought like it, it brought, it was a
sense of sadness.
I know he's in a good place,right?
But you start to feel thatemotion, and I'm like, oh,
Uncle, Uncle David, I'm sosorry.
And then, oh, Candace, I'm justso sorry.
So it really does reflect whathappens to individuals in our
community that we don't evenknow that they're going through.

SPEAKER_01 (43:46):
Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 (43:47):
And oh, just thank you so much for being vulnerable
with that book.

SPEAKER_01 (43:51):
It really touched my heart.
Thank you for your support.
And again, if you do get thebook and you read it, please put
a review on Amazon.
Even please put a review on mypodcast.
I love to get reviews that thisis making an impact because
that's really what it's allabout.
So thank you for being asupporter of my book Unspoken.
Yes, definitely.
So, and then like I want to talkabout your book.
So, we talked a little bit abouton the podcast.

(44:12):
You have a book coming out, uh,The Power of Yes, launching in
2024, but you're also writingyour own book called A Woman
Unshakable.
So, do you have target?
And again, from one author to afuture author here.
The book journey is is one thatcan be daunting.
I remember my journey, it's justlong editing days, but how has
your journey been?

SPEAKER_00 (44:33):
Yeah, so my journey has been up and down.
It's been many times goingaround the same mountain.
You know, that um that uh 40,that 40-year trip the Israelites
took when they should have doneit in 11.
Yeah, I felt like that was mystory.
Like, oh my god, girl, likeyou're going through this again.
Like there was times where Iwould be so good, so good, and
then something happened and thenI would take two steps back, or

(44:55):
something happened and I wouldfall back into the pit.
Yeah.
And I'm just like, oh, why am Idoing this again?
And a lot of it happened becauseI still suffered from alcohol
addiction.
You know, I still would findmyself when I would be depressed
or I would be going through umthis trial, then I would turn to
booze, right?
And I would do these three,this, these three-day um binge

(45:19):
drinking episodes and stuffbecause I didn't know how to, I
didn't know how to find peaceand I didn't know how to find
that healing and other avenues.
So, like the mental healthsupport, that's huge, you know,
because a lot of times we wantto run to the things that are
the very toxic things that areputting us in these situations
with.
Yes, yes, yeah.
And so I talk about like how Istarted um my journey and my

(45:43):
career, and then I talk aboutthe how I lacked the confidence.
I talk about being in themale-dominated trades, but then
I talk about all the chaos thatwas going on at home in my life
because you can't really excelin other areas of your life
unless you really get throughsome of the things that you're
going through on the personallevel, on the trauma level, on
the things that you're dealingwith inside.

(46:05):
So it just talks about thosemountains going around the same
familiar mountain, that recklessliving, and then how I overcame
some of those things and how I'mstill overcoming those things.
And so it's the woman unshakableis showing that even though you
go through traumatic events, youcan still be unshakable, you can
still come out on the otherside.

(46:26):
You face the storm, you getthrough the storm, and you come
out to the light.

SPEAKER_01 (46:30):
Yeah, that's awesome.
I'm so excited.
I cannot wait to read bothbooks.
So The Power of Yes, and then AWoman Unshakable.
So I want to make sure I did aplug for you for that.

SPEAKER_00 (46:39):
Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 (46:40):
And then I also want to plug.
So you and I, when you werecoming to the studio today, we
talked about the walk.
So I will just put a plug infor, you know, as a survivor
thriver, I'm now part of a localorganization.
I'm a board member of BeliefSurvivors Incorporated.
They have sexual assault uhsurvivor programs as well as a
scan, so stop child abuse andneglect programs.
So that's huge.

(47:00):
So being able to align mypersonal mission with local
organizations that are doingsomething for the cause.
And then also I've partneredwith the National Foundation to
end child abuse and neglect.
So end can E N D C A N dot org,put a plug for them.
And they have walks to help withuh prevention, creating cultural
change, and you know, just toreally get around prevention,

(47:21):
advocacy, education, andresearch efforts around child
abuse and neglect.
And so I'm a walk lead.
The event's gonna be happening.
We have them every year, andthey're in different cities, but
in the city of Milwaukee, whereI'm from, Milwaukee, Wisconsin,
that's where we're taping thishere.
Um, September 16th, um, in inOak Creek, Wisconsin at Lake
Vista Park.
So um, yeah, so I just wanted tomake sure I plugged in and can.

(47:44):
So yeah, so I can't wait for usto partner in again.
Uh I'm excited about CynthiaJones' event.
Maybe I can attend and do somenetworking there as well.

SPEAKER_00 (47:51):
Definitely.
She has speakers too.
So if you ever want to speak atone of her events, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 (47:56):
I'm definitely gonna try to see if I can plug in, go
to the event, bring some flyers,bring some cards, connect with
you there.
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited! It'sgreat.
So as we start to wrap up, I'mso excited.
Um, I always like to end on apositive note.
So full circle blessings was thelast chapter in my book.
And I talked about just, youknow, my journey, my accolades.
It's always hard to recognizeand pat yourself on the back.

(48:17):
So where what are you mostgrateful for?
I want to close out on thatpositive, full circle blessing.
So, what do you what where areyou today in your journey?
And what are you most gratefulfor?

SPEAKER_00 (48:27):
I'm most grateful for forgiveness because and you
actually forgave too.
And I just want to like say,yes, girl, like you did not let
them have a hold on you.
You did not let them have achain on you.
You forgave, and mostly becauseyou forgave so that way you can
move forward.
And that is key.

(48:47):
Forgiveness is not because theydeserve to be forgiven it,
forgiven for what they did,because absolutely not.
But forgiveness is so that wayyou can forgive and let go.
So you can forgive and moveforward.
You can forgive and give it toGod so He can do the justice
because we're not the judge,right?
Right.
So we have to learn to just letit go.
And I know that's hard because alot of people say, I can't let

(49:09):
that go, but we can talk throughit, right?
Right.
And we can get to that placewhere we can forgive ourselves
most importantly and moveforward so we can live the life
that we are meant to live.
And so that's huge.
So that's what I'm grateful foris because I forgave a lot of
people in my past.
And because again, I say we'rejust humans, we're all flawed.

(49:30):
Yes, and so forgiveness is huge.
And I'm so glad you found thatin your heart because if you
were to hold on to a lot of thatanger and and sometimes people
live in the pity party, do youthink you would be doing this
right now?
No, right?

SPEAKER_01 (49:44):
No, no, you can't, and that's the thing.
Like, so I was asked a questionrecently, um, because I will be
speaking at an event in thefuture here, and one of the
questions that came back, whichreally was a great question, was
before um they just the boardwanted to select there was three
speakers that they were pickingfrom.
I was one of the three, and theywanted to ask the question why I

(50:05):
never reported.
And they wanted to kind of do adeep dive.
And that is a big question.
Yeah.
And I really I thought about thequestion, and then my response
was, you know, when I go throughmy journey at the different
stages of my life, you know, asa young child, and then not
disclosing and then disclosingand then having that victim
blaming and the shame.
And then people in the educationsystem didn't pick up on it.

(50:26):
School systems that it was justlike there's no believing of me.
So what difference would itmake?
Yeah.
Not wanting to hurt my mom, notwanting to like, because it was
instilled in my head, well,you're gonna be stuck with me
anyways.
If your mom will have a nervousbreakdown, she's gonna leave you
with me.
You know, so it was likeingrained that right, no matter
what, if I did, I was just gonnalose anyways.
So the fear was instilled in me.

(50:48):
It was the fear, and it's ithappens a lot, and it happens a
lot, and so I just and then I amat the point in my life where I
have considered doing it even atthe present day.
I have been contemplating andfiguring and navigating what
would that look like?
How would it look?
I feel that the book is atestimony, red testimony, but
then also taking it that onestep so they can't do it to

(51:09):
someone else if someone were toreport in the here and now, and
if I'm gonna be a true advocate.
And again, so it was a greatquestion.
I'm glad they asked me, and I'mglad I got to think about how I
would respond and what myresponse was.
And I was confident, and theydid select me for their speech.
Oh, congratulations.
Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 (51:26):
And I'm excited for you.
You met your biological father.
Yes, that was huge.

SPEAKER_01 (51:31):
Oh my gosh, talk about first local for full
circle blessings.
For me, what I'm most gratefulfor is just the sense of family
and not having a hole in myheart anymore, right?
So I have my beautiful family,my two daughters that, you know,
with their partners, my daughtermarried, you know, my son-in-law
is I love them, and then mygrandkids, you know.
I love on these grandkids andjust want to give them the best

(51:53):
of everything.
Um, and just the snuggles andthe love, and just it's genuine.
And we've grown, we've gonethrough it, but we've grown
through it too.
And to me, that's healing.
And we're trying to breakgenerational curses.
We've really all done a lot ofinner child work, and I'm still
doing that work because it's sokey to continue so that I'm on
this journey.
But yes, finding my biologicalfamily has been a blessing.

(52:16):
Amazing.
I went in with no expectations,and I think because I did that,
I got so much in return.

SPEAKER_00 (52:20):
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Yeah, I'm glad you found thathappy ending.
It's really like a Cinderellastory.
Yeah, like I love it.
Listen, you have to read thebook, it's truly amazing.
And I finished, I was likehooked on it.
Like there, it was a Saturdaynight or might have been a
Friday night, and I startedreading it probably like six
o'clock, and I'm like, oh I'mnot putting this book down.
And I finished it at like 10,10:30.

SPEAKER_02 (52:42):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (52:42):
So it's a it's a good read, and it's it's not
like like um, oh, how do I sayit doesn't um trail off?
Like it's all there.
I love it.
It gets you like in the pages,and you can read it in four to
five hours.
Yeah, it's a quick read.

SPEAKER_01 (52:57):
I love that I get that feedback, the quick read,
and that it entices you that youjust want to finish it.
I've had people say, Can't say Iput it down and I'm like, okay,
I gotta go back and read it.
I'm like, I couldn't put itdown.
I couldn't.
So yeah, I'm so glad.

SPEAKER_02 (53:07):
It was great.

SPEAKER_01 (53:08):
And so as we're getting a wrap up, I'm always
here to offer, we are here tooffer resources.
So I will just make sure to do ashout out to your business.
So um, you know, journey toalignment coaching.com is your
website.
That is your business.
Journey to alignment coaching.
Journey to alignmentcoaching.com.
Yes, and then I I'll have yourLinkedIn bio um in the resource
page.
So if anyone wants to connectwith you or find you, they can

(53:30):
do that.
And then doing a shout out againto the the mommy mom Kim, Mama
Kim, Mama Kim, Mama KimberlyKruger.

SPEAKER_00 (53:37):
She's in Africa right now on a mission trip.
Wow.

SPEAKER_01 (53:39):
Kimberly Joy Kruger.com.
And then she has herthefewwomen.com the events for
her conference coming up, um,which is also in the fall.
Yes, usually November time framein the fall.
And so I'm just thank you forbeing here today.
I appreciate you, and you aredefinitely extraordinary.
Awesome.
Thank you, Candace.
So are you.

(53:59):
Oh, so yeah.
So thanks again to everyone fortuning in to another episode of
Unspoken Conversations withCandace.
Um, please subscribe to mychannel.
I now have a YouTube channel.
Make sure you're checking thatout.
I dedicated season three to allmale survivors.
I have season one, season twointo season three.
We are recording full force forseason four.

(54:19):
And then I'm going to be takinga pause after my season four
launch because I'll have a goodanother 12 episodes.
But when I say take a pause,I'll still be recording, but not
dropping because what I want todo is bring a conference with
all of my podcast gueststogether to do a huge networking
event.
So I'm really trying to dosomething that's going to be um
that's beautiful.
Yeah, that's gonna be huge.
And so I'm excited for that.

(54:40):
And and the podcast will havefour beautiful seasons to just
kind of you know, I think fourseasons because we have four
seasons, and then just kind ofmarket and socialize and really
try to work on um marketing justthe content that I have.
So thank you for being part ofthe Unspoken Conversation with
Candace Podcast.

SPEAKER_00 (54:55):
And thank you for doing the Mel episodes, like
that really hits home and ittouches my heart.
And um, my heart goes out, and Ifeel like this is a turning
point.
And I feel like you're doingthis for my Uncle David and for
all the men that have gonethrough that.
And so it's so important.
Oh, I love it.

SPEAKER_01 (55:11):
Thank you for saying that.
That's awesome.
So thank you so much.
That's a beautiful way to closeout.
Thank you for being here.
Have a great rest of your day.
All right, everyone.
Thanks for tuning in.
We'll talk to you next time.
Thank you.
Have a good one.
Bye.
Thank you so much for listeningto this conversation about
healing, encouragement, andsupport.
Trust that there is power inspeaking your truth and sharing

(55:34):
your experience with othersbecause you can have an impact
or even save someone's life.
Follow me on Facebook andInstagram to stay engaged in our
unspoken conversations withCandace.
And if you have been impacted bytrauma and need tools to heal,
consider purchasing a copy of mybook titled Unspoken available

(55:56):
on Amazon.
Thanks again, and remember,you're not alone.