Men Of Virago Return

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_05 (00:02):
Hi, I am your host, Leonette Talley, and you are
listening to Virago24-7.
Virago is Latin for femalewarrior, and 24-7 is for all
day, every day.
Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcastthat brings diverse women
together to talk about life andour experiences in this world.
We share our views on self-love,mental health, marriage,

(00:24):
children, friendships, andreally anything that needs to be
talked about.
Here you will find everydaygrowth, everyday healing with
everyday warriors.

(00:45):
That is gross.
That is not what I meant.

SPEAKER_00 (00:48):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (00:48):
That is not.
We're recording now.

SPEAKER_00 (00:50):
You're the one who said it.
Oh, yeah, run that back.
Yes.
I was disagreeing with you.
Like a good husband.

SPEAKER_05 (01:01):
Guys, I was looking to see when's the last time we
recorded.
We got we got something from2023.
And then the last one was 2024.

unknown (01:13):
Oh.

SPEAKER_03 (01:13):
Like January of 2024.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
A full year.
Yes.
Almost two.
Two.
Actually, it was two.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (01:20):
So a lot has happened.
Let's record with the men ofVirago.
Welcome, Justin Philip.
Milky.
Milky.
Milky brought a laptop or aniPad.
He's going to take notes.
Because these two old men aregoing to uh school him.

SPEAKER_02 (01:39):
Hey, I'm here to learn.

SPEAKER_05 (01:42):
So, Philip, you wanted us to gather here today
on this fine December 27th.

SPEAKER_07 (01:48):
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (01:49):
Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_04 (01:49):
Merry Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_00 (01:51):
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Yes.

SPEAKER_05 (01:53):
It's like Philip has something on his heart.

SPEAKER_00 (01:56):
But you know what?
We were probably one of the morepopular podcasts, the men of
Raga.

SPEAKER_05 (02:02):
Out of my 100 and something shows, yours was the
most popular.
I love that.

SPEAKER_00 (02:06):
I said one of the most popular.
I mean, everyone was talkingabout Justin.
He was like a little superstar.
Podcast superstar.
So I was like, you know what?
It's been a little bit.
So let's let's get back.
We haven't done men of Rago innow almost two years.

SPEAKER_05 (02:24):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (02:24):
Well, time to go.

SPEAKER_05 (02:26):
Let's do it.
Hello, Justin.
How you been?

SPEAKER_10 (02:28):
Good.
Good.
Can't complain.

SPEAKER_05 (02:31):
How's life been trending now?

SPEAKER_10 (02:32):
Well, it's been going okay.
Uh no, it's it's fun.
I've I've uh had some prettynice successes recently, and uh
our company was bought uh oracquired, I guess.
So I uh got had that wonderfulprofessional accomplishment
happen, and uh the kids are alldoing well.

(02:55):
Mary, my oldest finished herfirst semester, college
semester, and got all A's andall A's?
Yeah, she's thriving.
And my high schooler isthriving, straight A's,
basically hundreds across theboard, which is crazy.
And then my youngest is killingit too.
Uh all A's, I think he has onlyone B.
And he did that thing on themath.

(03:17):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He um, you know, you're alwaysproud of like your kids when
they uh accomplish somethinglike completely on their own.
Um and you're just in awe ofthese like small mo little
moments.
But one of the things he had acounty assessment test that he
aced, he got a hundred, uh, andhe was like one of only four
students in his entire gradelevel to to do that in a subject

(03:39):
like math.
So and then we're talking abouta kid who still goes and gets
pulled out of class because umfor speech and had some has an
IEP and has had one since thebeginning he of his school uh
career, and you know, he's infifth grade now, and and to have
moments like that where it just,you know, his intelligence and

(04:01):
his hard work pays off.
It's it's a really proud moment.
And he did it all in, he was sohyped about it.
It was really cool to see to seea kid you know be hyped about a
big accomplishment like that.
Yeah, so and he's got yeah, hesaid the other day, which is
great, is uh he goes, Yeah, thisis this is kind of the best year
ever.
It's been like the best this hasbeen like like probably one of

(04:23):
the best years ever.
I love it.

SPEAKER_05 (04:25):
He has such a sweet spirit, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 (04:27):
He surely does.

SPEAKER_02 (04:28):
He does.

SPEAKER_05 (04:29):
Milky, what's what's up with you, Mina?

SPEAKER_02 (04:32):
Well, um, I got into dental school 2024, and yes,
that was a journey.

SPEAKER_01 (04:39):
That was a journey.

SPEAKER_02 (04:40):
That was a journey, a lot of hard work, and now we
are um almost done with secondyear, and we're about to enter
third year um next semester.
And you said we.
So why why do you say we?

SPEAKER_09 (04:52):
Well, that's how you see how that's really he means
him and his and his fellowclassmates.

SPEAKER_10 (05:02):
He goes by we web now.

SPEAKER_08 (05:05):
I say we because it's we I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 (05:10):
I say we because I feel like it's a collective
issue, so you know if I win, weall win, you know.
Okay, but um throughout uhdental school I um met my
significant other and umeverything's been very well,
very good.
I've been learning a lot aboutyou know just kind of being

(05:32):
being considered now a coupleversus last time I was just
single, and so it's a lot of umit's a learning process for me,
actually, all of this.

SPEAKER_05 (05:41):
Oh, we're gonna talk you hold that though, because I
got lots of questions.
Philip, how you been?
Because I have questions aboutthat.

SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
I've been good.
Uh we've had a lot of deathsrecently.
With my older sister just lastMonday.
Went to the funeral.
Oh, I've got to go.
Went to the funeral two weeksago.
She passed away unexpectedlyfrom a heart attack.
So that was hard.

(06:10):
And uh but you know, we wentlast weekend to Arkansas and at
our uh funeral, and most of mybrothers and and my sister uh
was there, so we got a chance toreconnect.
Uh, so that was great.
So it was just emotionallydraining.
And then one of our closefriends, Charles Brogdon, passed

(06:31):
away.
How long ago was that?
Like a month.
End of October.
End of October.
So like back-to-back people thatwere really close to us in our
in our lives.
So that part was um emotionaland draining, to be honest.
And then professionally, umthings are getting going really

(06:54):
well, thriving.
We're about to make a change inthe in the practice, which is
gonna be for the better with anew office manager, and we're
gonna ready to uh bring Brian tobe our new uh office manager.
So that's exciting.
I know she's gonna kill it andshe's gonna bring something new
to the team, new to thepractice, new to our success.

(07:16):
And then personally, you know,the kids are doing well.
Kaelin is working in within heruh degree when she graduated
from SCAD.
So now she's graduated from SCADwith honors, and then she's now
working in a playhouse downtownand uh is a station manager.

SPEAKER_03 (07:34):
Stage manager.

SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
Stage manager, sorry, stage manager.
And then Khalil is in his senioryear of high school.
We're hoping here in the nextmonth or so we'll get some good
news with him getting ascholarship for football in
college, because that's hisdream of uh playing football in
college, and then our ninthgrader, he will.

(07:56):
He's thrive.
My ninth grader, she's thriving,and and uh doing her ice
skating.
She has a great skin uh friendgroup that they're always at our
house, which he'll be in ourhouse in two days, spending the
night.
So yeah, everybody's kind oflike a lot of sleepovers.

SPEAKER_10 (08:13):
I just want to be on the record to say that that
Corinne ice skating is like it'sso dreamlike.
Like and the fact like how shedid it is that has been that has
been like so pure and fun andand and the way she just loves
it.
She loves it.

SPEAKER_05 (08:31):
I am going to learn how to n ice skate.
I'm like, you don't even knowhow to put on ice skating.
No, she's like, that's exactlyhow it started.

SPEAKER_01 (08:38):
Woke up one day and said, you know what?

SPEAKER_00 (08:40):
I want to ice skate.

SPEAKER_01 (08:41):
I guess I'm gonna learn.

SPEAKER_00 (08:43):
And she goes this morning, like she goes like
three to four times a week.
Yes, she's committed.
And only one of those times iswith her coach.
Oh, yeah.
It's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_10 (08:56):
Has she done Rockefeller Center yet?

SPEAKER_05 (08:59):
We did ice skating at Rockefeller Center.
Her and I went to New York forChristmas.
I think it was two or threeyears ago.

SPEAKER_10 (09:06):
Oh, she needs to return now.
She's got all the moves for it.

SPEAKER_05 (09:11):
She could barely do it then, and we bought tickets
and it was like midnight.

SPEAKER_10 (09:14):
It was so awesome.
Next time, don't go toRockefeller, go to Bryant Park.
It's a much better experience.
There's a Barnes and Noble rightacross the street.
You can get done, you can goover there, the Barnes and
Noble.

SPEAKER_05 (09:25):
It's it's a nicer area, and Rockefeller is kind of
overrated.

SPEAKER_10 (09:29):
Yeah, it's way too much.

SPEAKER_05 (09:30):
It looks more magical in the movies.
Sorry, New Yorkers.
That's how I feel.
That's my opinion.
In your opinion?

SPEAKER_08 (09:38):
Dang, dang.

SPEAKER_05 (09:39):
Can we can we shift back to Milky?

SPEAKER_08 (09:42):
How do we transition to this?

SPEAKER_04 (09:44):
Well, I was asking the hard-hitting question.

SPEAKER_10 (09:48):
Yeah, we need we need a break.
We need a clean break to be likethe music changes.

SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
Enough with the family stuff and all of the
fluff.

SPEAKER_10 (09:57):
The lights dim.
Why is there a spotlight on MilkVenus right now?
How did you do that with thelighting?

SPEAKER_09 (10:04):
That's perfect.

SPEAKER_05 (10:07):
So we're in a committed relationship.

SPEAKER_02 (10:09):
We are in a committed relationship.

SPEAKER_05 (10:11):
You said last time, yeah, you were very single.

SPEAKER_09 (10:13):
So we heard about your dating and the women and
the women.

SPEAKER_05 (10:22):
The one woman.
Just kidding.
He doesn't he she's the firstone ever.
So how's it been?

SPEAKER_02 (10:28):
It's been very good.
It's been a very goodexperience.
Um and Okay, Paget Queen.
Hey, leave Miss Congenialityalone.

SPEAKER_05 (10:39):
He's like, it's been very good and world peace.

SPEAKER_02 (10:44):
It's been a very good experience.
We're both in dental school, soshe's also my classmate.
So we've just been focusing alot on dental school.
We're going through this veryhard journey together.
And most of our focus isbasically on passing, basically,
you know.
So we're getting to know eachother within stress, also, you
know, all the stuff that theschool brings.

(11:06):
And that's it.

SPEAKER_01 (11:10):
Okay, the end of the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 (11:16):
Are we gonna get deep?
Are we gonna get Z?
Anybody?

SPEAKER_10 (11:19):
What's the rating of this podcast?
Is this a TV MA or Yeah?

SPEAKER_05 (11:24):
You guys can say whatever you want, however you
want.

SPEAKER_02 (11:28):
Yeah, there you go.
Um, I mean, ours to be honest,like there's really no we we
met, everything was pretty nice.

SPEAKER_10 (11:37):
You have a meat cute story, don't you?
Huh?
You have a meat cute story.
I mean, yes, it was it's likethe first time you saw her, like
what was or the first time youactually met.
You you literally have toldthis.
I think you've told this before.
Yeah, you did.
He has still told this.

SPEAKER_02 (11:51):
To be honest, like my intentions, because dental
school was so hard for me to getin, my intentions was to just
really focus on on that.
I'm a non-traditional student,so that means I'm a more older,
I took a different route thanthe the casual, the I went to
school, took my prerequisitesand got accepted.
That wasn't my case.
And because it was so hard forme, I didn't go in with the

(12:12):
intention of dating anybody.
So so no matter who I saw, itwasn't it just wasn't the for
for me, I interpreted that itwasn't the time for me to meet
anybody.
Right.
So uh what happened was that Ijust uh we live in the same
different apartments, but we'rein the same building, and we

(12:32):
just saw each other here andthere, but it was never nothing.
And in our building, they givefree breakfast every Monday.
And because of school, I I neverhad the chance to get the
breakfast.
So I saw that her and her friendgot breakfast, and I was just
like, oh man, now that I nowthat I see you guys have
breakfast, I I was craving itand all that.
But within all this, we werejust talking or saying, Hey, I

(12:53):
am bye, but I've never taughtanything about it.
And then like one day she she orthat same day she bought me like
the yogurt that they were givingout.
She actually bought me one andgave it to me.
And then um, I'm like this typeof guy that I'm just really cool
and really focused.
But just if you open that doorjust a little bit, uh so I was

(13:14):
like, why did she do all this?

SPEAKER_09 (13:15):
And I was talking to another guy, the man's like, Why
would you think?
And she was like, No, maybeshe's trying to be friendly.
I was like, I don't know.
That was a joke.
It's like, hey, she got you ayogurt, bro.
She didn't see it, you know whatthat means?

SPEAKER_02 (13:28):
So I kept like putting myself in situations
that I would see her and and andstuff like that, and just I
would just kinda like makeconversation.
It got to the point that it'slike, man, she's actually a
really cool friend.
Like, I would I just you know,it it's it's just if anything
doesn't amount to anything,she's still a good friend.
But it it did amount tosomething, and then and that's

(13:49):
it.

SPEAKER_05 (13:49):
We just kind of do you guys even know when a girl
likes you?
Or you guys just clueless?

SPEAKER_00 (13:56):
That's a good question.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 (13:58):
Or some guys think friendly is flirting.
So, like, do you guys know thedifference?
Or just creeper guys just assumeeverybody likes them?
Is that what you're doing?

SPEAKER_01 (14:08):
No, I'm not calling you guys creeper guys.

SPEAKER_05 (14:10):
But no, you know how some guys, if you're just
friendly or if you even make eyecontact all of a sudden, oh
yeah, she definitely wants mestalkers.
But most guys, most normal guyslike you guys probably don't
know, right?

SPEAKER_10 (14:23):
I mean I mean, I don't think I've I don't have
interactions on a regular basiswhere I can gauge or I have a
gauge for for all that, but I Ikind of I feel like I'm
confident enough to say that Ido know when somebody is more
than just being like he said,friendly.

SPEAKER_00 (14:40):
Yeah, I thought you liked me, but you didn't.
Really?

SPEAKER_09 (14:46):
Well, it's all coming out.

SPEAKER_05 (14:50):
Again, zero signs.

SPEAKER_00 (14:51):
See, I thought you did them.

SPEAKER_05 (14:53):
Sweet.

SPEAKER_00 (14:56):
But you kissed me first.

SPEAKER_05 (14:57):
Oh my god.
Oh, yes.
That's not true.

SPEAKER_00 (15:00):
Or you kissed me, you kissed me for real for the
second time at Justin's parents.

SPEAKER_01 (15:05):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 (15:06):
Hey.
Hey, my house.
My house does that.
But a real kiss, it was youkissing me.

SPEAKER_05 (15:14):
Yeah, it was on your guys' your parents' fireplace.

SPEAKER_00 (15:17):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (15:18):
You had a party and we were sitting on the
fireplace.

SPEAKER_00 (15:22):
What party was this?

SPEAKER_05 (15:23):
It was just like one of your mini parties.
Like, I wanted to know whatparty this is.
It was just it wasn't a wildone.

SPEAKER_00 (15:29):
No, I know it wasn't a wild one, but we went to
what's that burger place onPleasant Hills?

SPEAKER_05 (15:35):
Shhake shop.
Shink Shake Sack.
We didn't.

SPEAKER_00 (15:38):
We went into Sake Zack afterwards.
All of us.

SPEAKER_05 (15:41):
Yeah.
And and had burgers like a hand.

SPEAKER_10 (15:44):
I don't remember.
See?
Ask Anna, see what it remembers.

SPEAKER_01 (15:46):
It was a long time ago.
Oh, wait a minute.
We have that picture.
Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_10 (15:52):
Oh my god.
Okay, I remember it now.
I remember it now.
Why?
We had that.
Why did we have that party?
Was that a Friendsgiving?
No, that was a Friendsgiving.
It was in November, wasn't it?
Alright, we're sidetracked.
I know we're sidetracked.

SPEAKER_02 (16:06):
I just wanted to know.
Was it in your parents' officeand one over there?
Yeah.

unknown (16:10):
Hey.

SPEAKER_02 (16:11):
Okay.
That house was there forever.

SPEAKER_10 (16:14):
Hey, hey.

SPEAKER_02 (16:18):
Not her first, won't be her last.
I kind of have an idea when agirl likes me, but sometimes
it's not it's not 100% accurate.
Like, you know, sometimes youthink and and it's not, or
sometimes you don't think, andit is.

SPEAKER_10 (16:30):
Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (16:31):
So it's um it's a little bit with her.
I wasn't really sure because umuh because since so in school,
when you go in, you have to dolike orientation and stuff like
that.
So everybody will be on the samepage, but there's a part of
orientation to talk about likesexual harassment and stuff like
that.
And then they really just whenthey talk about sexual
harassment, they're just talkingto guys.

(16:52):
They're not it's not everybodyhas to take it, but the audience
is guys.
This is just for you.
The men in the room, this is foryou.
Yeah, in every scenario, it'salways like right, right,
exactly.
So when they pick scenarios,because they do videos and
stuff, that's always like thisguy who's just like doing
something that like overextreme, and it's the girls just

(17:13):
doesn't know, and it's just likeI thought we're just gonna throw
out the trash, like we're gonnabring that like So they they
kept giving these scenarios oflike a guy's always
misinterpreting or alwayswanting a little bit more.
So in my mind, I'm like, I italways second, I always second
guess, and I'm glad that Ialways do that.

(17:34):
But eventually I ended up beingright, because like she always
wanted to study with me or stufflike that.
So I was like, okay, like sayless.
You don't gotta give me toomuch.
I I get it.

SPEAKER_05 (17:45):
Or maybe it's because you're like really smart
and she just wanted to studywith you.
That could have been it, too.
Didn't you have those in dentalschool, Philip?

SPEAKER_02 (17:52):
You're smart, you're a smart guy.
Yes, yes, I did.

SPEAKER_05 (17:55):
But they always they always liked you too.

SPEAKER_02 (17:59):
It was a one-win.

SPEAKER_05 (18:00):
Oh my gosh.
Um, I taught you how to processemotions.

SPEAKER_10 (18:06):
The Dallas Cowboys.

SPEAKER_05 (18:07):
What's something?

SPEAKER_09 (18:11):
Extreme, extreme emotions.

SPEAKER_01 (18:14):
Let's dig into that.

SPEAKER_10 (18:15):
Sorry, sorry.
Still, still we the boys.
DC for life.

SPEAKER_00 (18:23):
So high, so DC for life.
Your fork.
And then for three weeks, we'rejust like, oh my goodness, I'm
done with football.

SPEAKER_05 (18:30):
No, and then Philip is still watching the I still
watch it.
I'm like, they do games.
Of course.
Of course.

SPEAKER_10 (18:37):
That's what a fan does.
You gotta watch.
You you still watch.
Even though it means I stillcheer, dog was the halftime
show, so gotta watch for Snoop.

SPEAKER_05 (18:46):
I missed it.

SPEAKER_10 (18:48):
Oh, you missed it.
It was actually really good.
That's what I heard.
Your dog was all over the next alot of respect for that guy.
Dude came out just full-on bloodoutfit.
It was great.
Oh, I did see that.

SPEAKER_00 (18:58):
So quite so when did you realize that she did like
you?

SPEAKER_10 (19:03):
Oh, because so I kinda had an idea, but she gave
you the hug and it was the fullbody one.
It wasn't the No, it wasn't thatthere was no pat on the back.

SPEAKER_02 (19:15):
It was no full body hug, but she was one day sitting
one day sitting next to me, andI think her like knee touched,
like Oh, you gotta touch knees.
Yeah, and then she didn't moveit.
So I was like, okay, so she'sgetting comfortable around me.
So then I was like, all right,I'll be right back.
Since so I went up to myapartment.
I um got some mouthwash, youknow.

SPEAKER_09 (19:41):
You know, you put mouthwash in your knee.

SPEAKER_00 (19:46):
You put mouthwash in your knee.

SPEAKER_09 (19:48):
Um is it me?

SPEAKER_00 (20:01):
But you you forgot the last thing.
Y'all not just dating.
No, we're not dating.

SPEAKER_02 (20:07):
So he doesn't want to show that.
So okay, so so okay, so beforebefore we started studying
together, I just kind of noticedthings were going out fine, but
um I because of the orientationvideo, I just didn't want to
assume, and I was being verycareful because like what I said
in the beginning, for me to goto dental school is really,

(20:28):
really hard.
So I don't want to do somethingthat would just backfire on me
and then it will jeopardize mycareer.
So versus if we were in adifferent environment, my my
actions towards a lot of thingswill be totally different.
So I'm really working, beingextra careful, being extra sure,
because again, I have my careerin mind.

(20:49):
So um, throughout all of thatstuff, to be honest, I was like,
I I just prayed.
Uh man of God, and we do pray,and I think I do believe that
God just guides us.
And I said, God, uh, you know, II have all this experience, like
Lanea said, I dated before andall that stuff.
And I said, God, I don't want touse none of my games, I don't
want to do anything.
I want you to guide me.
And if this is the person thatyou want, then I want you to

(21:11):
just align things how they'resupposed to be.
Like literally, that was myprayer.
And I never prayed that in mylife.
I never prayed for girls, Inever prayed for like a future
wife.
None of that stuff.
None of that, none of thatstuff.
I don't know.
I just kind of felt that I wasirrelevant and until this
moment.
So then when I started talkingto her, I started seeing how she

(21:32):
used to talk about herrelationship with God and and
certain things, and she wouldjust um and these are things as
a guide that you want to seebecause eventually what you're
would like now in my age, whatyou're looking for is somebody
who to settle in to build thefamily, and these types of
morals are super important.
Well, we could talk about um whythey are, but um super important

(21:54):
for me to establish something.
Um, because there's certainthings, and I've been with girls
who are really beautiful and allthat, but then every time they
talk, there's a course wordafter, and then I always think
about dangers, if I bring hernext to my nephew or my nieces
or stuff like that.
So these are things I I I don'tsay that out loud, but these are
things I consider behind mymind, and I still go with it,
but I already know that this isnot the move.
But before it was justdifferent, I kept saying all

(22:16):
these things, and way before Ithink on the first podcast, uh
with Philip, we started making alist of things that I thought
was important when I do pick anideal person.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So all of that stuff we wentthrough, all of that stuff came
together around that time, andthen she checked off the boxes.
Yeah, she checked off the boxes.

(22:37):
We we need to have boxes, weneed to have, as men, we need to
have requirements sometimes.
Yeah, and um, because these arethings that will determine how
we're gonna live our life.
Now, remember that we talkedlast time that I've seen a lot
of my friends get married, andaround this time I'm seeing them
a lot of them get divorced.
And um, and it's hard.
Like guys don't talk about it,but when they do, we really go

(22:59):
through it.
And so this part is extremelyimportant to make all the other
parts work.

SPEAKER_00 (23:07):
And that's why we did that list, though.

SPEAKER_08 (23:09):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (23:10):
So for my sister who listens to the podcast, I got
that from her.
We wanted to make a soulmatelist.
Like, what are the requirements?
What are the things?
I don't know, what's yourvalues?
What things are your things thatyou're looking for in the
soulmate, and what are your dealdeal breakers when it comes to
that?
So we did that before youstarted demo school, so you have

(23:31):
to got a chance to kind of seeif she was um or came close to
that list.

SPEAKER_02 (23:38):
Right.
Because the pro the question is,what happens when you don't have
the list?
What happened, I think, issometimes we rely on other
factors and we get comfortablewith those factors, and then
eventually over time, we we getit wrong because we're humans,
not because we're a bad person.
Right.
But in reality, you know, weguys know my a person can have

(24:00):
all of these good things that Ilike, but if she doesn't look
attractive to me, but then itgoes the other way.
If she does look attractive toyou, but she doesn't have all of
this stuff.
So I think it's important uhhave this.

SPEAKER_00 (24:12):
Because if you don't have it, then then you have no
you have no uh guidelines.
I have no guidelines.

SPEAKER_05 (24:17):
Did you not have a list?

SPEAKER_10 (24:19):
I did not have a list.
No, no.
Uh I had um tradition, I guess,Catholic tradition, and and you
know, um met somebody that metall of the val I think actually
it was a lot of core valuesstuff.
There was a lot of values thatwere there.

SPEAKER_05 (24:39):
So do you guys think that's the only thing that we
need in a marriage is corevalues or like what else should
we be looking for?

SPEAKER_00 (24:48):
That is a good question.
I think based on my list, we hadsome core value things on there
because you know, those are kindof like deal breakers if you
don't have the same valuesbecause with my first wife, I
didn't I didn't look at thelist.
Because I had the list.

(25:09):
I had the list.
I created that list with Carolin in college.
And I got married right a coupleof years after dental school.
So yeah, I never looked at thatlist.
I just put it in my Bible andleft it there.
So if I had looked at that list,I probably would not have gotten

(25:29):
married.
But the other things on thelist, it didn't matter how
superficial the things were.

SPEAKER_04 (25:34):
You're gonna challenge that.

SPEAKER_00 (25:35):
Yeah, uh, ladies and gentlemen, there's a flag on the
play.

SPEAKER_05 (25:37):
There's a flag.
Justin always with us, what'sanalogies?
Flag on the play, because youguys did go to um Mayor's
counseling.
You guys did do marriagecounseling, so even though you
didn't have the list, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (25:50):
What's your marriage counseling?
Went to mayor's counseling Iwent to marriage counseling.

SPEAKER_00 (25:54):
No, no, no, but his marriage counseling.

SPEAKER_05 (25:56):
But this is what happened in his marriage
counseling.

SPEAKER_00 (26:02):
Things came up in the marriage counseling that
were other red flags without melooking at the list.
That is correct.
I probably wouldn't even got thechance to the marriage counsel
if I'd looked at the list.
But since I didn't look at thelist, we got to the point where
we were getting ready to getmarried, and we went to marriage
counseling.
And um, yeah, some things cameup that were n were red flags,

(26:24):
and one of them was why are wegetting married?
And mine was, you know, thefairy tale out of love.
And hers was well, you know,it's convenient, it's good.
We're both professionals, weboth like some of the same
things, and it'd be a goodmatch.
And that was her answer.

(26:46):
So when we came home that day, Iwas like, What in the world did
you what did you mean by that?
She said, Oh, you know, itwasn't like I it wasn't like how
we thought I meant, but itreally was.
But and then I ignored that.

SPEAKER_05 (26:59):
So my point is that you would have ignored the list,
too.
Like you would have still gottenmarried.

SPEAKER_00 (27:04):
I think sometimes at some point, this is why I said
no, because at that point wewere already engaged.

SPEAKER_05 (27:11):
Uh people can break off engagement because that's
peasy.

SPEAKER_00 (27:15):
They can.
And if I had the list, we'reprobably just dating.
That's a big difference.
That's an easier uh way to exit,or you know, when you're just
dating someone.
When you're engaged and all ofthose things, and you've sent
out all the invitations, and youset the waiting date, and even

(27:36):
though that all this stuff isnot the reason to continue to
get married, but to be honest,that was the reason why we did,
because a couple of days beforeI was with my with Eric, and I
told him, I said, Man, I don'tthink I should be getting
married.
You know, at the time we thoughtit was just jitters or you know,
but it wasn't that, obviously,because that's why she's my

(27:59):
first wife.

SPEAKER_05 (28:05):
That is a that is a cautionary tale.
Little children, listen to that.

SPEAKER_07 (28:15):
I love it.

SPEAKER_05 (28:16):
And then he met me and he got the list right.
A hundred percent and it workedout.

SPEAKER_10 (28:21):
Didn't you write the list though?

SPEAKER_01 (28:25):
I wasn't even there.
I was probably 18.
I was only like 10 years oldwhen you wrote the list.

SPEAKER_03 (28:34):
I love it.
I love it.

SPEAKER_10 (28:36):
Um Well, I I I'll say this.
Look at this.
Uh I like that you met her likea not a traditional way, but
outside of I guess, like datingapps or social meetups, or you
know, like those intentional,purposeful ways of going out and
trying to find somebody.

(28:57):
Correct.
Whether it be a hookup or along-term relationship.
You you did it outside oftechnology, you just did it out
of circumstance.

SPEAKER_07 (29:05):
Right.

SPEAKER_10 (29:06):
And it's cool because you guys all come from
very different backgrounds too.
Yeah, very differentbackgrounds.

SPEAKER_05 (29:11):
So have you guys ever gotten feedback from a
woman?
Obviously, you two have, becauseyou two are married, Philip and
Justin, that forced you toconfront yourself.
And Milky, have you had thatyet?
Like when we give you feedback,have you taken it and confronted
yourself with that feedback?

SPEAKER_02 (29:30):
Yes, I have three sisters, and I also have gotten
um constructive feedback fromLyonette.

SPEAKER_05 (29:40):
And guess what, Milky?
I'm being real nice.
I'm like not even giving you myfull feedback.

SPEAKER_02 (29:47):
I'm not scared.
That's the uh annihilation.

SPEAKER_09 (29:49):
I will scare him away.

SPEAKER_02 (29:51):
I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_05 (29:52):
But what is it?
Like what?
I need an example.

SPEAKER_02 (29:56):
What is it?
Feedback like concerning sp mymy specific relationship right
now, or just uh just pickanything, any woman in your life
is anything.
Um so so okay, so I guess I'llI'll start with with my mom, an
example.
Um she is a person who um um fvery family orien oriented.

(30:20):
She wants all of us to just kindof uh get along and stuff like
that.
And um I guess one of the thingsis just which is really
important is just um I guessreligion.
Um because you know, sheunderstands that we go back to
values um and if we holddifferent type of values, things

(30:41):
will I'm not saying it's gonnabreak up or anything like that.
And another thing, the the thelist is not bulletproof because
people are allowed to change,and that's that's a reality.
But it's just taking all theright steps, so at least you say
you took all the right stuff.

SPEAKER_05 (30:55):
But but yeah, I mean, I I'm trying to think
anything like something thatmight kind of catch you off
guard.
Like with Philip, I'm like, uh,you're too nice and to to
everybody, and she likes you,and I don't know, like stuff
like that.
Like, or you're being selfish inthis moment, like that kind of
stuff where it feels negative,but you have to confront that

(31:17):
this might be true about myself.

SPEAKER_02 (31:18):
Okay, well then then yeah, so my own my own
girlfriend, she she sh that'sthat's one of the uh things I
have a lot of friends.
I I make friends very how wouldI say friends?
I just get to know people veryeasily, and it's just it's just
in my nature.
I don't I don't try to, but itjust kind of happens.
I just find people veryinteresting and and people like
to talk about themselves and Ilike to hear about that, and and

(31:41):
all of a sudden one thing goesto another, and and all of a
sudden I got that person's phonenumber and male or female, and
it's just it's just that whathappens it it it gets all their
numbers, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 (31:52):
So male or female digits.

SPEAKER_02 (31:56):
It's just it's just things that happen like uh it's
just being friendly, right?
It's just being friendly, yeah,exactly.
That and that's what I guess oneof my one of my things from her
is just that um I'm don't be sofriendly.

SPEAKER_05 (32:07):
Don't be so friendly.
Don't be so friendly.

SPEAKER_01 (32:08):
But then but then especially with the females.

SPEAKER_02 (32:10):
But then she says that she doesn't want to change
me and and she likes the way Iam, so it's just like one of
those one of those things that Ijust don't know what to do.

SPEAKER_05 (32:18):
Like I would, you know she's trying to change that
part of you.
You know because I I would.

SPEAKER_02 (32:24):
Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_05 (32:24):
Yeah, don't get go.

SPEAKER_02 (32:26):
No, but I'm just letting you know what she's
saying.
I I don't know, like I'm tellingyou what she means.

SPEAKER_05 (32:34):
Stop getting the digits.

SPEAKER_09 (32:35):
Stop getting digits.

SPEAKER_05 (32:36):
I'm not trying to change all of you, but this part
of you makes sense.

SPEAKER_09 (32:39):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (32:40):
When I mean digits, I'm not talking about female or
only digits, I'm just meaninglike hey, my god, I you know, I
don't judge it.

SPEAKER_09 (32:47):
We listen and we don't judge.

SPEAKER_05 (32:49):
Leonette listens and she judges.
Stop getting the female digits.
There's no reason for that.

SPEAKER_06 (32:54):
Correct.

SPEAKER_05 (32:54):
Why do you want to have a new friend that's a
woman?
Like, what's the purpose ofgetting a number for a female?
Like, we you know, you guysdon't need friends.
You guys don't need friends likethat.
Um I think it's good to have amix of friends.
No, why not?
Not new ones, old built-in ones,yes.

SPEAKER_02 (33:17):
But again, I it's a situation that happen.
It's not like I'm uhintentionally looking for like
female friends.

SPEAKER_08 (33:23):
I really don't have time to have again, my people
explain your dynamic too,because your two roommates are
okay.
So wait, so you can't have wait,no, no, no.
I I don't know about thisbecause this talks about this
this this is I have a goodexperience with this.

SPEAKER_05 (33:40):
This is something I've never ever gone out, and
I'm sure I've could give out mynumber to a lot of men.
Yeah, and it's a hell no.
I am married, and I literallykeep it pushing and I keep it
moving.
I don't even glance sideways.
It was nice to see you in thecoffee line.
Like, there's just no reason ora purpose to be handing out your

(34:02):
phone number just to likepeople.
That doesn't make sense to me.

SPEAKER_00 (34:06):
What do you mean?
Opposite sex, is what you'resaying.

SPEAKER_10 (34:08):
No, but what if it was a dude?
Like for me?
No, or no, like No, I wouldn't.
Or no, for for like for us.
Why?

SPEAKER_05 (34:18):
I've met a lot of female friends while I've been
married.
That's different.
Like it's just it's just theperception of it.
I don't I don't know.
It just seems ugly like why whyput yourself in that position?
Like, why?

SPEAKER_00 (34:31):
True.
Well, I'm gonna say this too,because uh women are definitely
a lot more complex than men.
Men are very simple, I feel, inthe sense that we say what we
say, we mean what we mean.
And I don't think a lot of womenare that way.
So from experience, havingfemale friends, sometimes our

(34:57):
interpretation is they're just afriend.
But they may think that it'smore than that, right?
Because we're being friendly,because we're, you know, having
a conversation or or things likethat.
So, you know, I just wouldn'tput myself in a a position that
for that even an opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 (35:17):
Right, but it's it's very also important to
understand that their perceptiondoesn't mean it's reality.

SPEAKER_00 (35:26):
Now if they were single, then that wouldn't
matter.
Right.
But if you're married tosomeone, then you also have to
keep in mind what yoursignificant other's perception
is, too, because that is theirreality.
Right.
So and whose reality are do youwant to uh adhere to or uh honor

(35:47):
or respect is is gonna be youryour significant other's reality
in that and they I I had a lotof female friends and a lot of
past tense is that he said I hada lot of female friends, he
still has a lot of femalefriends.

SPEAKER_05 (36:04):
This is the thing Philip has a lot of female
friends, and he he goes to lunchwith some of them, or he's gone
to dinner with them, and I don'thave a problem with certain with
those women, I really don't,because I'm friendly with them
too, and they go without me.
Um but it's the out and aboutjust randomly getting somebody

(36:27):
just because we had a momentthat doesn't make sense.
The friends that you have arepast friends, and also they're
they're more um professionalfriends that have they be they
started off professionally andthey turned into friendships.
And I and I understand that andI respect it.
And you know all of them now theones that I was like, oh hell to
them now, they ain't hereanymore because I'm like she

(36:49):
ain't and she like some of themwere just waiting for us to
fail.
Yeah, it was like yeah, yeah,yeah, yeah.
Oh no, it's like, are you happy?

SPEAKER_01 (36:58):
I used to well, when he's not happy, he'll be calling
your raggedy ass, that's forsure.
He's learned when he's one ofthose.

SPEAKER_05 (37:10):
So those people almost like you can just be
like, yeah, no, that they're nothere to be your friend.

SPEAKER_07 (37:16):
True.

SPEAKER_05 (37:17):
So, anyways, that's my perspective.
It doesn't make sense.
So you're gonna have a hardroad.

SPEAKER_02 (37:23):
No, but I I agree with that too.
When it's professionally, whenit's um somebody who's like um
who can help you grow, and andthey both of us knowing we agree
with it.
I don't I don't disagree withit.

SPEAKER_10 (37:36):
Well, what about if exchanging Instagrams?

SPEAKER_05 (37:39):
What's the point?
I don't know.
I don't know why are we changingInstagrams?

SPEAKER_02 (37:44):
So you can have more followers, you know.
Like Yeah, I'm trying to getcertified.

SPEAKER_05 (37:51):
Like, I don't you want that blue check mark?

SPEAKER_09 (37:55):
I want the blue check mark.

SPEAKER_05 (37:56):
Philip just got on Instagram so he can see all the
videos that I sent him.

SPEAKER_07 (38:01):
He can't open them.

SPEAKER_05 (38:02):
The other day I was like, oh, you're on Instagram
now.
He's like, Yeah, because yousent me all those videos and I
can't open them.
I thought you were trying to beable to do it.
I thought you were trying to gointo a whole new world of like,
you know.

SPEAKER_09 (38:15):
Be careful, man.
Algorithm, you gotta watch out.
You gotta check it weekly.

SPEAKER_00 (38:24):
I have all that is what she says.
Oh boy.

SPEAKER_05 (38:27):
Oh my gosh.
Okay, so Milky, we're gonna workon that.
Justin, is there anything that awoman has said to you?
I'm pretty sure that that'sfunny.

SPEAKER_10 (38:35):
No, actually, uh, believe it or not, um, I've got
a clean record.
And then I'm I get a perfectscore across the board.

SPEAKER_05 (38:44):
A perfect score of being the best husband, the
best.

SPEAKER_02 (38:48):
I like how he disagree himself, you know.

SPEAKER_10 (38:52):
Uh let's just say I get feedback daily.

SPEAKER_04 (38:57):
Not saying it'd be hourly.

SPEAKER_01 (39:01):
Look at your phone.
You might be giving it rightnow.
What time are you giving up?

SPEAKER_05 (39:07):
Oh, Justin.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 (39:09):
You're working on the you're working on that.
No, no.
Um there there have been somethings that have been feedback
that I've received where I'vebeen able to take a step back
and actually listen, I think, isis one of the big ones.
And I think more of that hasmore to do with uh uh I've um

(39:32):
went to therapy this year forthe first time in my life and it
was um different and uh I don'tthink I've ever like shared
anything, you know, with anybodylike that ever before and kind
of have a sense ofvulnerability.
So it that I think, you know,the fact that I had gone, I
think maybe is some feedback oflike, oh, maybe I do need to

(39:53):
work on some things, right?
And um and so it's it's you knowIt's patient but for me it's
mostly it's like patience, likethe thing I snap really quickly
sometimes.
And it's just I don't know why.
It it it's just the way I waswired, I guess.
I grew up around it, you know,quick to snap, high pressure,

(40:14):
like a lot of stress, that kindof things, anxiety anxiety.
That was the other thing like Ilearned uh so apparently that I
uh deal with uh which I didn'tknow.
I I just thought I was like, ohno, it's just irritable.

SPEAKER_05 (40:28):
So like it stems from being anxious.

SPEAKER_10 (40:31):
Yeah, yeah.
I was being anxious uh becauseI'm finding myself, I guess you
know, when you start aging, youget older, and I'm going through
my midlife crisis now.
So you know, I'm getting youjust got a new tattoo.
I just I just got a new tattoo.
Like I've lost like at least 25pounds.
Uh you know, I'm running, yeah.
I'm joined a run couple.
I joined a run club.
Like how like I'm just like howwhite is that?

SPEAKER_09 (40:55):
Like I joined a run club at a brewery in a public
how white is that?

SPEAKER_10 (41:01):
Yeah, that's pretty white.

SPEAKER_04 (41:02):
For those that don't know, but believe it or not, he
is Mexican.
Yeah, the best part.

SPEAKER_10 (41:06):
Yeah, oh yeah, by the way.
By the way, it was it was it wasit was really funny because
there's another guy that'sthere, and his la we share the
same last name.
Yeah, yeah.
So he saw I guess he saw it onInstagram.
I liked the picture, and then henoticed my name.
And your name is so uncommon.

(41:29):
Yeah, but I'm I'm starting tofind it a lot more common now,
oddly enough.
Yeah, then the the the newpresident of Venezuela is a
machalo.

SPEAKER_04 (41:38):
Really?

SPEAKER_10 (41:39):
We have uh we have uh Miss Universe is a machalo,
we have uh, you know, um we'rewe're all over the place.

SPEAKER_05 (41:45):
So he has but you guys are not related.

SPEAKER_10 (41:48):
No, he's he's Brazilian, so he speaks
Portuguese.
He doesn't speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_05 (41:53):
Philip, what kind of feedback have I given you?

SPEAKER_10 (41:56):
There's so many.

SPEAKER_05 (41:57):
No, I'm kidding.
Anybody, it doesn't have to beme.

SPEAKER_00 (42:00):
Well, I would say with you, I would say the that
was probably one of our biggestthings that we would talk about
is um my female friends.
Because I always walked into arelationship thinking, you know,
I have female friends, andwhoever I'm dating, if they're

(42:22):
the right person, they'll beokay with it.
And that is a very um bachelorapproach to that process.
And but I did see that there'salways uh perception, perception
is the biggest thing, and youjust never want to put yourself

(42:44):
in that position because thebiggest thing I always say when
I look at that is you're you'refirst defensive when someone's
pointing something out thatyou're not doing something
correctly or you're wrong.
And then secondly, it's more ofum dang, what do I need to do?
Is she right?
Let me think about it, let meself-reflect, let me be a little

(43:06):
bit more self-aware of thecircumstances because there are
some things that you realizethat you don't want to that you
feel like, yeah, I I could havehandled that differently, or I
could have made a b betterdecision, or I could have been
more um open about certainthings that took place.

(43:27):
Um because I think just which ana uh thing that my sister gave
me advice, Carolyn, was toalways be um truthful and open.
Because you're truthful andopen, you don't have to think
about it.
And you don't have to um it itis what it is at that point.
So if you're open, you'rehonest, and whatever you're

(43:51):
saying, it's not something youhave to remember.
You know, you don't want to haveto go back and explain yourself
later.
It's best to always just leadwith with that.
And then at that point, youknow, that that port other
person has to make a choice.

SPEAKER_05 (44:08):
I'm glad you learned because that wasn't always the
case.

SPEAKER_00 (44:12):
That is true.
That is true.

SPEAKER_05 (44:14):
At all.
It it's it's one of thosethings, you're right, being open
and honest, because the timesthat you were not open and
honest, and then I caught youbecause I'm a detective.
Then it's just then it's justlike now I can't trust anything.
Now I can't trust anything hesays.
So be open and honest, Milky.
Before you you gotta learn theselessons before you get married,

(44:36):
because it's gonna like helpyou.
It's gonna help you in the longrun.
Now we're on to the nextquestion.
What does partnershippartnership mean when both
people are ambitious andevolving?
Or just evolving, because somepeople aren't ambitious and
that's fine, but just evolvingand growing and changing.

SPEAKER_00 (44:54):
What does partnership mean when both
people are evolving?
Evolving, growing.
I think that makes thepartnership even stronger.

SPEAKER_03 (45:04):
When they're both growing.

SPEAKER_00 (45:05):
When they're both growing.

SPEAKER_03 (45:06):
Now, if one person's growing and the other person is
growing.

SPEAKER_00 (45:08):
Then that's an issue.
Then that's a big issue.

SPEAKER_03 (45:10):
Why is that an issue?

SPEAKER_00 (45:11):
Because you see things differently now than what
your partner would be.
So their perspective, theirreality, their things that
they're okay with, you're notokay with anymore.

SPEAKER_05 (45:23):
The thing is, like if one person is growing and the
other one's staying the same,the person that is growing,
their eyes become open.
Like, yeah, you were used tothis for the longest, but then
when you start learningdifferent ways of thinking and
and perceiving things, then ityou can't unsee it.
So then you start seeing thatthis person's not even willing

(45:45):
to grow, they're not even tryingto change, they're not even
evolving with me, and that's ahuge problem.
And I've seen it in a lot ofmarriages, and they don't end up
staying together.

SPEAKER_02 (45:55):
I I have a friend in the in the Dominican Republic
that um him and his wife, theythey were doing really, really
well together.
They have a huge constructioncompany, and basically he
because they're doing so well,um, he started paying for her
schooling so he could um and shewanted to be like a lawyer or
something like that, and throughthat get into politics.

(46:18):
And all of a sudden, you know,as she was going through her
schooling and she graduated, sheall of a sudden started looking
at her husband like he was likeobsolete, like almost like dumb.
But he finally asked everything.
Yes, he he wasn't the mostsmartest guy, but what he did,
he was really good at.

SPEAKER_06 (46:37):
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (46:38):
But academically, he never kind of got into her
level, but he elevated her to bethat.
Did they grow apart orsomething?
They they kind of did growapart, but I don't know um if
because if it's justifiable,because there's there has to be
a sense.
I mean, I don't know.
I I don't know.

(46:59):
I just from the outside lookingin, I'm thinking like, even
though you elevated andeverything like that, like your
question was it's still apartnership.
He's he's still your partner.
Even though your eyes are open,you guys are still a a team.
Right.
And and we don't need to belooking, even if my eyes are
open more, you you're still withme by my side.

(47:22):
That's that's right.

SPEAKER_00 (47:25):
I think that's more intellectual.
I'm talking about more likeemotional intelligence.
You know, like as a person,you're growing, you know, not
not more, which is that's a goodexample, because some people do
advance in in degrees oreducation, and then they look
down at their partner likethey're not as smart or things

(47:46):
like that.
That's that's a great example ofit.
What my what I was talking aboutis more emotional intelligence.
So, like, what's an example oflike emotional like like you
don't take everything, like ifyou're not as emotional
intelligent, every time someonesays something to you, it's not
your fault.
Or it's it's a reason why youdid it, it's an excuse.

(48:06):
Versus if you have emotionalintelligence, you look at it
like, okay, I may have had apart in this problem or a
situation, or I can see yourpoint of view.
But people that don't haveemotional intelligence, their
point of view is the only pointof view.
Yeah.
And then that point, you areyou're growing apart because now

(48:27):
you see every conflict.
Someone without emotionalintelligence sees every conflict
as that other person's issue.
Or there's outside influencesthat they have no control over.
Someone with emotionalintelligence that has grown,
they see everything as anopportunity, or they also see

(48:48):
the part that they played in it.
And if you have those twopeople, you're gonna grow apart.
Because someone that has moreemotional intelligence, some
people say maturity, some peoplesay, you know, experience or
whatever.
Maybe not experience, becausepeople have experience still
don't learn sometimes.
But this is more of, yeah, justemotional intelligence.

(49:09):
I see that as being um a bigissue.

SPEAKER_05 (49:13):
I mean, in that situation with your friend, that
kind of stinks, but it's alsopossible that she already had
feelings before that, and thenshe went and got educated even
more, and then saw that that'sthis is realized that this is
not the life I want.

SPEAKER_02 (49:28):
I mean, there's a lot of different factors, but
you know, and the reason I'mkind of saying this is because
you know, I'm in a relationshipand I'm learning how what
partnership, and I'm learning alot of I'm I'm hearing the word
a lot about commitment.
And when all these words and allthese stuff comes through, it
makes me feel like even whenwhatever happens, we are
committed, we have said this,we're gonna go through this,

(49:51):
we're together, partnerships,but it it's just like all this
stuff you read and you study,but then when you look at real
life, it's just likecircumstances is what tells us
what we really are.
I don't know if it makes sensewhat I'm explaining, right?
Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 (50:07):
Because some things are reality and some things are
theory.
Right.
In theory, everything's great.
We're gonna be a partnership,we're gonna work together, we're
gonna share, we're gonna come toa common ground, you know, all
those little catchphrases.
But you know, when the realitysits in, you have like, this is
how I feel, and this is how Ifeel, and it's not gonna always

(50:29):
be the same, what do you dothen?
Well, because if you're apartnership, you gotta find some
type of common ground, or youcan't be just right.
You know, that's what a lot ofpeople want to be just right.
Let me win this fight.
And you win the fight, but youlose the war.
Right.
Because at that point, yeah,that's not worth it.

SPEAKER_02 (50:47):
Um, I remember uh of one of a friend of ours, he he
said, Um, you know, in apartnership, if you win, you'll
both lose.
That's the thing.
There you go.
You're right about that.
Yeah, that's so true.

SPEAKER_05 (50:58):
Okay, speaking of speaking of apologies and not
being right all the time, um haswell for the two of you, Justin,
because you're not quite thereyet, Milky, but you can answer
it.
But for Justin and and Philip,how has your what does real
apology look like to you nowversus earlier in your life?

SPEAKER_00 (51:19):
Now?
Well, earlier in my life is justsaying the words.
If you can just say you'resorry, that would be perfect.
That's that's all you need todo.
And now it's actually showingaction afterwards.
Oh, because before you likethat's a big deal for me to even
say I'm sorry.
You know, because when you'reearly you think you're always

(51:41):
right.
And then for me to even admitthat I'm wrong, that's you
should be good with that.
That's a big deal.
But now it's more of, hey, whatare the actions behind what
you're saying?
And really truly meaning it.
Because, you know, some peoplewill know exactly if you really
are sincere about your apology.

(52:04):
Um and then some people you Iguess you could fool, but yes,
what what's what you doafterwards?
Just the the actions and thethings that you do after your
apology.
Are you gonna repeat what youjust did or are you gonna
actually like learn from it?

SPEAKER_05 (52:18):
Who's being?

SPEAKER_10 (52:19):
Uh I don't know if I understand the question say it
again.

SPEAKER_05 (52:21):
So you're the way you apologize today, how is that
different from before?
Or are you the same?

SPEAKER_10 (52:28):
Uh yeah, I mean, I think I like I was gonna say, um
I agree with Phil.
I think it's the actions thatfollow on whether how sincere
that apology is.
I think also the sincerity of ofthe apology is probably uh is
more present, I think, uh todaythan it was back then, you know,
because really when you'reyoung, you really only think

(52:50):
about yourself.
Like it's it's it's pretty yeah,it's pretty just about you.
And when you say you're sorry,you're just like, sorry, fine,
whatever, you know, that kind ofsorry.
Uh whereas today it's more oflike, oh dang.
Yeah, sorry.
Uh that was me.
It was my fault.
I did this.
All right.
So it's like theacknowledgement, it's the the

(53:12):
the accepting, and then like nowthe forgiving part, that's the
whole other thing, that's awhole nother part of this
question because I think uhhaving an apology is great, and
I and I encourage people who youknow are in the wrong to
apologize.
And for those who are acceptingthat apology or in the presence
of the one who was offended bywhatever prompted their apology,

(53:33):
I think the actions beyond thatis the real understanding of
what that apology meant.
And because if it if you'rereacting and you're apologizing
and you're showing the intentionof changing whatever it was that
prompted that, if the otherperson then can bring that same

(53:54):
thing up again and what's andand just kind of pound back at
that one time uh when you didsomething, then did they really
forgive?
Like now, now there's yeah.
So yeah, the answer would be no.
And and so then why am Iapologizing when I it's it's not
getting us anywhere.

(54:16):
It's not improving or or makingus become uh you know, a better
partner or a better um husbandor a better father or better son
or whatever it may be and whatyou're apologizing for,
coworker.
So I think it it it also is puton the one who's accepting that
apology to make sure that theyare f truly forgiving.

(54:38):
Um because until you know, ifthey don't, then I mean what
what are you really doing?
It's just you're gonna becyclical at that point.

SPEAKER_05 (54:47):
Write that down on your iPad.
Um Milkeek, that was brilliantanswers, guys.
Good job.
10 out of 10.

SPEAKER_10 (54:55):
Yeah, I know.
It was so great because I hadChatGPT up right here.
Tell me exactly how to respond.
That was brilliant.

SPEAKER_09 (55:02):
I don't want to get a question.

SPEAKER_10 (55:15):
That's a chat GPT.
This uh this episode issponsored by ChatGPT.

SPEAKER_01 (55:21):
I know we're gonna get my joke.

SPEAKER_05 (55:23):
Okay, where do you still struggle to be vulnerable?

SPEAKER_02 (55:26):
Actually, do you want to answer the because I
think honestly you'll probablystill I mean I agree with
everything that that Jess said,especially with the forgiveness
part.

SPEAKER_05 (55:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 (55:35):
Because some people just want the apology just kind
of to humil humiliate, but notfor for the record.
For the record, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (55:41):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 (55:42):
So I agree with that.
To make themselves feel better.
But a r a real apology is Ithink it's gonna go into the
next question.
It's uh a real apology isshowing vulnerableness and
having that vulnerable bvulnerableness be accepted and
be seen and then to connect tothat and and open up to to make

(56:06):
real change so that movingforward it doesn't happen again,
whatever the offense was.

SPEAKER_05 (56:13):
I like that because yeah, and I feel like that's why
most people don't apologize anddon't um hold themselves
accountable because then theywould have to be vulnerable.
But is there anything that youguys struggle with still to be
vulnerable?

SPEAKER_00 (56:28):
With who?

SPEAKER_05 (56:29):
Just in general, could be anything.

SPEAKER_10 (56:32):
Oh sex with the lights on or off with the bed
sheets, with the bed sheetsocks?
Is it if there's socks, is thatlike a that's like a no-go?
Or is it wide open windows?
Yeah, exhibition of style.

SPEAKER_00 (56:47):
Like how are we doing this?
How are we doing this?
It's depends on the person.
That's why I say with who.
Like with your uh co-worker, um,my vulnerability is gonna be a
lot less to some degree.

SPEAKER_05 (57:02):
Okay, fine.
With your spouse then.
With your spouse.
Yes.

SPEAKER_00 (57:07):
Um but again, as a leader, you do want to show some
vulnerability to let them knowthat you're human and that you
also make mistakes and to, youknow, as an example.
But when it comes to truevulnerability, I would say with
my spouse or with you, um nowno, but in the past, I think it

(57:32):
was more of um showing like sademotion.
That was hard to do.
You know, that was hard if youhad a loss or you felt sad or
you wanted to cry.
Um sometimes as a man you kindof want to hold that in or feel

(57:55):
like I can't show that orwhatever.
But um, yeah, I think that'swhat probably what it used to be
when it came to that type ofemotion.
Cause then at that point, thatperson also knows what things
can affect you.
So you kind of look at it like,okay, what are they gonna do

(58:16):
with this?
I mean, are they gonna be arethey going to respect that
vulnerability or are they gonnause that later to bring up
something in the from the past?

SPEAKER_03 (58:28):
What are your vulnerabilities?

SPEAKER_10 (58:29):
Vulnerabilities?
Yes.
I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 (58:31):
I think my aunt my answer is not the question,
though.

SPEAKER_05 (58:34):
Oh.

SPEAKER_10 (58:36):
What is my vulnerability?

SPEAKER_05 (58:38):
What are you still struggling with to be
vulnerable?
Where do you still struggle tobe vulnerable?

SPEAKER_10 (58:42):
Where I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't I I d I don't have Idon't have that much of a filter
sometimes.
And so I don't know if I'm am Ibeing vulnerable if I don't
vulnerable all the time?

SPEAKER_09 (59:01):
Like am I just walking around?
I'm walking around with the thebee.
Like, I'm vulnerable.
I'm vulnerable.

SPEAKER_10 (59:10):
See that the ghosting I just meet you and you
already know how many kids Ihave or a million all this other
stuff.
I'm a little billionaire.
Like, wait, would you want paperor plastic?
I was like, I'm up.

SPEAKER_04 (59:26):
This question is not a good thing.

SPEAKER_10 (59:29):
No, I mean I think vulnerability, I think it's it's
uh I think honesty, I thinkwould be for me uh being
vulnerable in how I'm trulyfeeling.
I think that's a good one.
Um because I think I think forthe most part, a lot of men,
even even if they tell you thatlike like oh yeah, you know,

(59:49):
that they're being truthful orsomething like that.
I think as men there's stillalways something that is guarded
about uh sharing every Thingtrue in a lot of situations.
And it's not intentional.
It's not something that that wedo on purpose to hide anything.
I think it's it's that fear ofum what what's gonna be the

(01:00:14):
reaction, right?
Um especially with a partner umbeing you know, being that
vulnerable to somebody ortelling you how you really feel
uh is sometimes can really getyou, you know, in a lot of
trouble.
And for most men, you're justlike, ah I don't want to do
that.
I'm not gonna deal with thehassle of that.
Like I I know what if I saythis, it's gonna be a fight, I

(01:00:37):
know what's gonna happen.
So you know what?
Let me just be like, hey, youknow, I'm sorry.
Whatever.

SPEAKER_02 (01:00:41):
That's what I was gonna ask you.
Do you have to like do youreally have to say everything?
Like now a hundred percenttransparent because from my
logic is telling me, sometimesif you be a hundred trans 100%
transparent, you guys alreadyknow.

(01:01:02):
Sometimes you are you gonna hurtthat person?
How transparent, how open canyou can a guy really be?
Like really be.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:10):
I go back to what my father usedto say to us is that when you
have to say something tosomeone, can you say it with
love?
I like that truth.
And what was that?

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:24):
Is it kind?

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:25):
What is it kind?
I like that.
If you can't do that, don't betruthful.
Wait, is it with love?
And is it the truth?
And is it kind?

SPEAKER_05 (01:01:36):
Because sometimes, Milky, um you're gonna have to
say something that's tough thatthat person doesn't want to
hear.
But if you're if it's comingfrom a place of love, how that
person receives it, that'ssomething that they have to
figure out.
And that's and if and if if thatperson doesn't ever get to that
point of understanding that,then then that's that's my whole

(01:02:01):
point of then that person's notgrowing, and then you guys grow
apart.
Oh, that's what you're talkingabout.
That's what I'm talking about.
Like if you bring something upand that person doesn't
understand that it came from,yeah, stuff stings.
He has said stuff to me.
I think I'm perfect, butobviously I'm not.
So when he says stuff to me, Ihave to sit back and yeah, it
like hurts, and it's just likeoh shit.
But sometimes it's true, and Ihave to reflect on that, and

(01:02:23):
then I'm like, I'm gonna have todo better next time.

SPEAKER_02 (01:02:26):
It and I just feel, and I may be might be wrong, and
I don't know how this is gonnabe, you know, sound, but I just
feel this is like one of thethings that we were talking
earlier that sounds really goodon theory.
But it's like I just don't, Ipersonally do not know anybody
who would be a that's why youhave friends, and you're have

(01:02:46):
mentors, yeah, that's why youhave certain people that you
will say certain things.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:50):
Your honesty may not be kind.
You know, it may not be kind.
So do you want to expectsomething to hurt somebody?
Or should you not because youmight be mad and want to be very
honest with someone, and thatprobably not may not be the best
time to be honest because you'regonna say something that's gonna

(01:03:11):
be very hurtful.
So don't say it.
Because you don't have to be,because to be 100% honest all
the time, that's not reality.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:20):
Like that shirt is so ugly on you, and your butt
got fat.
And like, don't say stuff likethat, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_10 (01:03:27):
But I thought you said to be honest.

SPEAKER_05 (01:03:30):
I mean, I'm okay with the honesty, but not all
women.
Everybody with it.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:35):
Oh, you can tell me.
Oh, I understand where you'recoming from, but for me, you
don't have to.
But I have a question.
So if you said three things, yousaid love, truthful, and kind.
I understand the love and Iunderstand the truthful.
How do we I need an example ofwhat kind means because kindness
feel looks very broad.

SPEAKER_00 (01:03:51):
Well, like I said, if you're angry with someone and
they ask you a question, youcould answer that question out
of anger, and in your mind, I'mjust being honest.
But and it's true, and it'strue, but it's not kind.
So do you want to just be meanto someone and unkind in that

(01:04:12):
moment and then regret it later?
You know, like you might be madat someone and they say, Well,
how do I look in this?
You look a hot mess in that, butyou really shouldn't say that
because that's not kind.

SPEAKER_08 (01:04:27):
Well, you say that to me.
You can say things.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:31):
He said that to me, and I'm like, Well, I'm still
gonna wear it because you don'tknow about fashion.
And then I walk out the door.

SPEAKER_09 (01:04:38):
You don't know fashion.

SPEAKER_05 (01:04:41):
You only say that about one outfit, a pair of
pants, and I think I finallygave them away, but they have
they're floral.
Oh, and he doesn't comment on myon my attire, but and then I
wore some jean dress that shinygave me, and and I walk
downstairs, and all you, eventhe kids, what are you wearing?
Because it's not really mystyle, but it looked cute with

(01:05:01):
the boots on it.
I wore it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:03):
See you.

SPEAKER_05 (01:05:04):
No, it looked cute.
I don't wear it.
I'm glad you thought that itlooks very cowboy-ish, and
that's but did that make senseor do you think that's no no it
it make it make sense?
But that's a superficial that'sa superficial um.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:14):
I'm gonna be honest though.
Like, I'm honest enough to knowthat I'm never gonna be a
hundred percent open because Iunderstand that if I am, it's
going to be a good one.
Yeah.
Well, it's it's gonna bringmore, more, it's not gonna
benefit as much as it.
I will be, but not a hundredpercent.

(01:05:36):
I uh but maybe, maybe once I getto that relationship to that
point, but I just don't see ithappening practically.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:45):
At this moment, I agree with you.
You definitely will not be.
That's that's that's that'sthat's just time and experience
and situations too.
If you grow from it, I justdon't know.
But you're never gonna be noone's gonna be 100% honest about
everything.
That's that's not reality to be.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:04):
But in a marriage, I would hope that you guys can be
vulnerable with like yourfeelings.
Because I feel like if you don'tif you're not honest with how
you feel, then you if it you youhide it away in a little
compartment and then and then itkeeps keeps building and be
keeps building until you resentthe person and tolerated.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:26):
But not to be mean.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:27):
I could be, I guess I could be, I could be honest
with my feelings, but I'm justtrying to figure out I'm I'm
thinking about so manysituations.

SPEAKER_05 (01:06:32):
So give us a situation, just throw something
out there because now I want toknow what you're thinking,
because he's talking aboutclothes, but I think you're
thinking something different.
He's over here talking about mylike tell me which outfit
because he keeps talking aboutclothes, like give us an example
of what you would want to behonest about without going into

(01:06:53):
detail.
Like, you can just give us likegeneric.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:56):
I mean, I'm just trying to let me see.
Um, I don't know, Justin.
You have probably a lot ofexamples like damn.

SPEAKER_08 (01:07:06):
I'm just an innocent bystander over there.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:12):
Dodge vulnerable.

SPEAKER_02 (01:07:14):
That's like dodges.
I'll give you I'll give you aperfect example.
And um, I'll give you a perfectexample.
I already talked about this withmy girlfriend, but this is a
really good example.
So I I was upstairs with theguys, I was having a drink, we
were talking about a commonfriend, and I told them, Oh,
yeah, I work with that commonfriend, and he happens to know
uh Dr.
Tally and all that stuff.

(01:07:35):
When we went out, he told me,hey, when you go out, the people
you're gonna be around with,they're pre- they're they're
pretty flirty and all this.
This all in a work environment.
So we were gonna go, we're gonnago to a Christmas party that was
like last year.
And in that Christmas party, I'mtelling you, these girls, as
soon as they drink, they getpretty flirty and all that
stuff.
And he already told me that.

(01:07:56):
I still went, but after that, Ihad to go get my hair because I
had a flight that same day.
So I said, yeah, let me go.
I'll just go ahead and get ahave an old fashioned.
So I went, I worked, I went out,I had an old fashioned, I found
out that what he was saying istrue.
I came back, and I neverdiscussed that with my girl.
The reason why is because, firstof all, I know that I wasn't
gonna do anything.

(01:08:16):
Second, I know that nothinghappened, and third, I know that
if I did discuss with my girl,the next thing that's gonna
happen is when that job comes upagain that they need me, she's
gonna be like, don't work there.
And I personally know this isnothing I struggle with.
And that happened a year ago,and then this year, I was the
conversation started aboutsomething that's like, oh yeah,

(01:08:37):
you know, there's a situationthat I never told you about, but
this and this happened, andeverything was cool, nothing
happened.
But I know that if I would havetold her that in that situation,
she would have not want me toactually work there again
because in her mind, she don'tthink that I just can't control
myself if I see somebody oranything like that.
But so, so there's certainthings that it's just not worth

(01:08:58):
doing because if I say it, it'sgonna just bring more harm than
benefit, and that's it.
But if it's something that I'mstruggling with, or you know
what, I'm feeling some type ofway or something, I would, I
would um exercise mycommunication skills and I would
will say it.
But something like this,everything, being saying
everything, is it is it is itreally gonna benefit, you know

(01:09:22):
what I mean?
And I don't know.
I'm asking.
I'm not I'm not saying the theway I said did this was correct,
but I'm just looking at pros andcons and consequences.
This is something I'm gonna dealwith for a few months, or
something that I'm just I didn'tdo anything, I didn't feel any
type of way.
I got my old-fashioned, yes,this happened, but I left.
And I came back home and and Iand everything's been fine for a

(01:09:42):
whole year.
So her name was old-fashioned?

SPEAKER_05 (01:09:49):
Am I picking up on the way?
What is this?
So, but I don't know.
If you didn't do anything, thenI I I agree with you that so he
just got drinks with his book.

SPEAKER_10 (01:10:01):
What the nose?
That's not true.

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:02):
No, I I do agree with that.
So I don't understand what shewould have been mad about in
that situation.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:08):
I don't I and that's the thing.
Uh the situation that he's in,he's she's he's saying that she
wouldn't want him to be put inthat position again.
Yeah, so if I get a job withthose type of people, right?

SPEAKER_05 (01:10:19):
But that's a job in a listen, I can have my
feelings, but when it comes tolike his profession, like I'm
not gonna like for example, thishappened.
Um, there was a girl that he hewas dating when we met, and
she's an assistant.
So he she was his assistant,let's just be honest.
He was, and I pretty much tookhim from her.

(01:10:42):
But so period.
Yeah, so she's one of the quoteunquote friends that still was
like trying to see if we weregonna make it, you know.
And years later, a few yearslater, and he knew how I felt
about this girl because she wasvery aggressive even after we
got married.
Um, and she came to InnovativeSmiles as a temp assistant, and

(01:11:08):
he didn't say anything.
I would like, I wrote thechecks, even though I didn't
work in the practice, I handledall the billing and I wrote all
the checks and paid all thebills.
And I had to write a check toher.
Normally with temps, we gothrough a temp agency, but I was
told, hey, write a check toso-and-so.
When I saw the name, I kind ofput two and two together, and

(01:11:28):
I'm just like, why couldn't youhave just said, you know, she's
a major issue in our lives, inmy life.
And you could have just said,hey, they sent the temp agency
sent her.
I had to the thing that drivesme crazy is that when I find
out, like, just say it.
It makes it less of a big dealwhen you just say, hey, she was

(01:11:49):
here.
So guess what?
The next time the agency senther, which I'm not gonna get mad
at that.
He still has to do his freakingjob.
And if the agency sent randomgirl that they didn't know that
they, you know, were F buddiesat one point, they don't know
that.
Right?
Like, I'm not gonna be likeLamell, like just he told me,

(01:12:13):
okay, she's coming back, they'resending her again.
Wonderful.
He has to still work and make aliving.
I'm not gonna be mad.
I was mad that you kept it asecret.
Correct.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, and that makes sense.
You are very similar to Philipin that way where it's like, why
not rock the boat?
So when you say stuff, I Iunderstand it because he did the
same thing.

SPEAKER_07 (01:12:31):
Right.
Totally.

SPEAKER_05 (01:12:32):
And he would he would always say, Oh, well, it
wasn't a big deal.
Well, it's if it's not a bigdeal, then just say it.
Right like, oh, I ran into myex-wife at such and such,
because it's you know, thedental community is a small
community, especially, you know,when you guys are like at your
level.
Hey, I I saw this person and Isaw that person, I saw that

(01:12:55):
person, but he forgot to say Isaw Ellen.
Like, why you saw everybody inthe mama, but you didn't mention
it.
But then a few days later, it'slike it slips out, and it's
like, now you're being now likenow.
I feel like you're being sneaky.
If it's not a big deal, thenjust say it.

SPEAKER_06 (01:13:11):
True.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:11):
And and then just undo, it's not a big deal.
When you keep it a secret, yeah,it's when it feels icky.
Then then the woman literallyjust starts thinking, okay,
well, what if he's lying aboutsomething so small like this or
so basically?
Then what is why?

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:28):
A male wouldn't think that.
Yeah, no, but I and we won'talways find down.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:32):
No, no, no.
The way you explain that, itmakes sense how much he does,
but I get what you're saying.
A male wouldn't think that one.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:40):
A male would be like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:41):
And literally, and that's exactly what he would
tell me.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:45):
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:45):
He literally said, I just didn't want this reaction.
Well, you're getting thisreaction.

SPEAKER_02 (01:13:51):
It makes sense if you say that.

SPEAKER_05 (01:13:56):
I wasn't lying, I just omitted the truth in the
same life.
When we talk about this, it'sbecause from experience.
And this happened until it gotout of his system until I kept
until we kept finding aroundabout the same thing.
And it's just like, just behonest about that.
Like in your case, she shouldn'ttell you, even if it's true,

(01:14:19):
even if someone came and sat onyour lap and gave you a lap
dance and you pushed her offyour, you know, whatever.

SPEAKER_10 (01:14:25):
At the end of the song.

unknown (01:14:27):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 (01:14:29):
I mean, somebody's got to pay for it and then wait
till the end of the song.
We're gonna let the though.
Come on.
Don't give out it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:14:37):
Hey, those girls were crazy.
They were all I I laughedbecause they were just out of
and she shouldn't, and sheshouldn't like block you from
having a profession, though,because now that that's
controlled.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:49):
Well, again, this is me assuming, but I don't know.
It's me assuming.
But ever question then.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:54):
If about about the assistant, the assistant.

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:58):
No, no, no, about yeah, so like about that
situation.
Now, now that this happened andyou had that conversation, which
makes sense the way youexplained, it makes sense.
My question is Um, is it betterin a sense, like by you now
understanding that, and you'vebeen okay, um, going through the
same thing that Lyonette said,and you're now just like

(01:15:20):
complying to it.
Right.
Is it better?
So is it is it better?

SPEAKER_00 (01:15:25):
You don't you don't really feel like 100%.
Okay.
Then another situation came up,and we were just walking in the
neighborhood, and I say, Hey,yeah, uh went to this such and
such, and Helen was there at theHenman Dental Society, and you
know, we talked about such andsuch.
She's like, Oh, thank you fortelling me that.
And that's and that was it.
I just I was thinking, and thenshe got in her car.

(01:15:50):
Right.
So she beat her ass into themarketplace.
Yes, that was that was Yes,that's why I say men are so
simpler, because we're thinkingit is what it is, it isn't what
it isn't.
Women are thinking, well, whatelse isn't happening?
Or what else is he not saying,or what else, you know what I'm
saying?
So and the guys don't think thatway.

(01:16:12):
Yeah, guys are just like, it'sthis or it's that.
Right.
And but that's not how womenthink.
Okay, that's good to know.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:21):
Yeah, I'm very passionate about that topic.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:24):
That's why she brought it up.
Very passionate.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:28):
I have more examples.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:29):
Don't think that was chat GPT.

SPEAKER_05 (01:16:32):
No, it's just about I understand the man's point of
view because we can be veryemotional as women.
I get it.
And we and not everyone is builtlike we're not built the same.
So I'm sure you can be honestwith someone and she will not
take it the right way ever.
That's between you and her, andyou probably pick the wrong one.
But the ones that want to growand mature with your partner and

(01:16:55):
not make everything such a bigdeal, then it's like, and then I
also, if I gave him thoseinstructions, then I can't freak
out once he does it.
And that makes me look like astupid ass.
Like I told him, just tell me,so I can't get mad when he tells
me.

SPEAKER_06 (01:17:10):
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (01:17:10):
Um, that's another thing, too.
It's like you have to be youhave to be mature enough to be
like, well, this is what Iwanted, and this is what I asked
of him, and this is what he'sdoing.
Now I can't like start cussinghim out.
Right.

SPEAKER_02 (01:17:21):
Well, and and one of the things I think also in my in
my and I guess in myperspective, it's like sometimes
when you date, you kind ofassume that everybody's gonna
react like the person you datedlast.
Yeah.
And you're just trying to avoida situation.
So you're right.
You're totally right becausesome sometimes I'm getting a
reaction that I didn't expectwhen go.
So it does become easier in asense.

(01:17:42):
Yes.
So so that's why I asked thequestion if it was more than
getting to know that person.

SPEAKER_00 (01:17:47):
Because some people maybe not could care less about
you know, certain things.
But some people that's it thatis their deal breaker.
That is the thing that they wantto be more um, want you to be
more honest about.
Okay.
You know, that's different thanvulnerability though.
In in a sense, too.

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:07):
Guys, this has been good considering we had no
format.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:11):
It is.

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:12):
But before we leave, before we leave, what do you
guys since we're going into2026, what are your hopes,
dreams, goals, desires for thisyear?

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:24):
Hopes, dreams, goals, and desires.

SPEAKER_05 (01:18:27):
Or anything that you look forward to.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:29):
I look forward to.
I think now in my I think now ismore of quality time.
I want to spend more qualitytime with my family.
Well quality time with you.
Um because with the deaths thatwe've had, you can't get time

(01:18:53):
back.
And when you're about to die,you're not thinking about how
much money you made, you're notthinking about what you
achieved, you're thinking about,you know, the people you
impacted, the lives you touched,and what you left your legacy.
So I just think time uh withfamily, time with friends, time

(01:19:19):
with um with my wife is is thisI think that's the most
important thing for me rightnow.
That's my focus.
It's not about working hard,it's not about grinding.
I've I've done that.
I think now it's more of hey,when can I have some time?
When can I, you know, I'll callJustin up, say, hey, let's let's

(01:19:40):
just chill.
It's not a Cowboys game, it'slet's just spend some time
together.
Or, you know, just us watchingmovies with Corinne watching Die
Hart, which is the first timeshe watched Die Hart, and she
loves it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:52):
She's like, that was the best.

SPEAKER_00 (01:19:53):
I know that's what we did.
That's what we were asking.
Is this a Christmas movie or isit not a Christmas movie?
It's a Christmas movie.
It's a Christmas movie.
Don't let anybody else tell youany difference.
There's nothing else about that.
100% and she loved it.
Which I was so shocked.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:08):
So just more quality.

SPEAKER_10 (01:20:09):
Quality time.
Yeah, that's funny.
We all watched uh Die Hard Tubeover for Christmas.
Did you really?
Oh, that's awesome.
We actually watched uh Rechighly recommend uh Marty
Supreme.
Uh yeah, the new TimothyChalamet, Tyler the Creator.
Yeah, it's I saw the previousthing.
It looks pretty good.
Beautiful.
It's a beautiful film.

(01:20:29):
It's really good.
Did y'all go to the movies?
Yeah, we went to the movies.
Okay.
Yeah.
Marty Supreme, Christmas Day.

SPEAKER_05 (01:20:34):
All right, Justin, what do you what do you want for
the game?

SPEAKER_10 (01:20:37):
Let's see.
This year.
I think what I'm gonna say is Ihope for uh new experiences,
which I think I've I've I'mending the this year with new
experiences, and I want tocontinue pushing myself towards
new experiences.

(01:20:58):
Um I want to also continueworking on myself, uh, you know,
being a better, you know, beinga better father, um uh you know,
doing well at work, you know,trying to trying to find my
purpose at work again.
Um been in the industry for along time, so it's really hard,

(01:21:20):
and there's a lot of changeshappening in my industry, and
it's tough to watch.
Um, but um, but I want to behelpful for that.
And then relationships for thosethat don't build your industry.
Oh, the television industry,yes.
So um, so yeah, there's a lot ofpeople out there uh who are in
our industry who haven't had ajob in over a year and are

(01:21:41):
really struggling, and uh it'sreally sad, and they're very,
very qualified, amazing people,and there's just nothing out
there, and it's just keepsshrinking and shrinking.
So it's hard, and um, and it'snot a day goes by that I don't
think of those people who arestill out there struggling.
So any opportunity that I cancreate, maybe um, maybe that's

(01:22:02):
something I work on creatingmore opportunities, you know,
for people I know and love andwho are still looking out there
looking.
Um and then um likerelationships, I think I was
going.
I think I was the last one.
Uh huh.
I want to improve myrelationships.
Um I want to make um make makeit a a big priority in in in 26.

(01:22:26):
I think it's it's a year umthat's gonna be, you know, a
good a good year, I think, foranyone, um especially at at my
age.
I'm definitely going through themidlife crisis thing.
So relationships are are veryimportant to me now.
And so I want to continuefostering those relationships
that bring me lots of joy andand and love and continue to

(01:22:48):
grow those and and then um youknow, sharing, you know, sharing
anything, you know, that comesfrom that, I guess.
Love it.

SPEAKER_05 (01:22:58):
Milky.

SPEAKER_02 (01:23:00):
And um that's a really good one, Justin.
And my I I kind of agree withthem.
I wanna um strengthen my uh therelationships that I have with
my friends, my mentors, and andnot lose that because once once
you're in dental school, you'rejust like in a different world,
and it's just so easy to forgetabout the the the people and the
friends that you not becausethey're not important, just

(01:23:21):
because you have so much goingon, but it was strengthen those
relationships and also be justgetting through dental school,
trying to be the best, trying tolike um but the best for myself,
the best for my future patients,trying to get better with my
skills, um also to strengthen myrelationship with um my

(01:23:41):
girlfriend and also strengthenmy relationship with God, and I
think that would just kind ofglue everything together with my
family, my mom, and and justkind of be better in time
management.
But but yeah, that's what it is.

SPEAKER_05 (01:23:57):
Well, I thank you guys for joining Virago 24-7,
and hopefully we can do thisyearly, if not quarterly or
whenever Milky comes into town.

SPEAKER_09 (01:24:09):
There you go.
That'll be what, spring break?
I'll be back I'll be back inspring break.
Right.

SPEAKER_05 (01:24:15):
All right, happy 2026, guys.

SPEAKER_02 (01:24:17):
Happy new years.

SPEAKER_05 (01:24:21):
Thank you so much for listening to Virago247.
If you haven't done so already,go ahead and hit that subscribe
button and please give usfive-star ratings.
Also, don't forget to follow uson Instagram at Virago24
underscore seven and on Facebookat Virago24 slash 7.

(01:24:43):
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