October 1, 2024 • 42 mins
Unlock the secrets to effective and faith-based sex education with Kristen Miele from Sex Ed Reclaimed. A veteran sexual health educator with 15 years of experience, Kristen takes us through her extraordinary journey from a Christian university to a Big Ten university, revealing her passion for public health and human sexuality. Learn how she's on a mission to bridge the gap in Christian families' sex education, offering an age-appropriate curriculum for children aged 3 to 18 that encourages open, ongoing conversations about body safety and sexuality, all while staying true to her faith.
Explore the fascinating historical role of older women in sex education within ancient cultures and early church communities. We delve into the wisdom of biblical teachings, such as Titus 2, and how intimate settings like house churches and menstrual tents created spaces for deep, intergenerational knowledge sharing. Kristen draws powerful modern parallels, emphasizing the importance of women's fellowship and the comfort that women often find in sharing their experiences with each other. This chapter is a heartfelt reminder of the enduring value of mentorship and collective wisdom.
Join us as we confront the pressing challenges of sexual brokenness within missionary communities and the wider Christian context. Through personal stories and candid discussions, we uncover the damaging effects of purity culture and the harmful societal sexualization of men. Kristen highlights the necessity of starting sex education early, teaching emotional intelligence, and fostering healthy, holistic dialogues about sexuality and relationships. This insightful episode also offers practical advice for parents on how to navigate these essential conversations with their children, ensuring they grow up informed and comfortable in their own skin.
Use the code CHRISTIANPARENTING as a 15% off Kristen's site: www.sexedreclaimed.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Jenkins (00:00):
Welcome back to the we who Thirst podcast.
With me today is Kristen fromSex Ed Reclaimed.
I cannot wait to hear what sheis going to tell us.
Kristen has been a sexualhealth educator for 15 years.
She is the owner and founder ofSex Ed Reclaimed, which
provides Christian families witha full video library which I
(00:24):
love of age-appropriate sexhealth education for children
ages 13 to 18.
So pretty much your kid'sentire life at home with you.
Her curriculum's available onher website and she even has
free samples available.
I'll mention it now as well aslater.
She also has a 15% off couponfor those who are listening and
(00:49):
you can use the CH code forthat 15% off on her website.
I'll also have that in the shownotes comments so you can see
that as well.
Good morning, kristen.
It is so great to have you here.
Kristen Miele (01:05):
Good morning.
Thank you, jessica, for havingme.
Jessica Jenkins (01:07):
I appreciate it , so tell me how did you get
interested in sexual education?
What kind of background do youhave?
I am just so curious in theorigin story of everything that
you're doing.
Kristen Miele (01:26):
Sure, yeah.
My origin story is basicallyrooted in like God's call on my
life.
I never was necessarily driventowards or passionate about sex
ed.
As a young person.
I didn't have much sex edmyself.
Rather, I got a lot of silenceand I think I did feel some
shame around learning about sex,like many of us did, because it
wasn't talked about veryfrequently and so you knew it
(01:48):
was like this forbidden subject,even though you had questions
and curiosities and desires andleanings.
None of those things were trulydiscussed or seemed to be cared
for, and so this was definitelynot where we thought my life
was heading.
But I ended up um, essentially Itransferred to a big 10
(02:10):
university from a Christianuniversity.
I felt a little bit bad aboutthat because I was like leaving
this seemingly like realChristian community to go to the
secular place.
But it was really in thesecular place, so to speak, that
I grew in my faith a lot and inthat place I started studying
public health and I saw a lot ofgospel correlation with
(02:32):
community health and caring forpeople, meeting them where
they're at, helping them to livehealthier lives based on their
choices and availability ofresources and care and
connection to like service asthe gospel ordains it and
commands it really.
And so I loved public health.
(02:53):
But then I decided to stay atthat university for my graduate
degree and during that time waswhen I was assigned to teach
human sexuality.
Okay, and I was really scaredabout that because, like I said,
I had never talked about thesubject but there was really no
option and human sexuality was areally popular class.
(03:14):
I'm sure some of your listenerswho had that offered in college
collegiate settings know likeit's just a popular class
because people do want to talkabout it, they do want to learn,
it is interesting and sexyinherently because people do
want to talk about it.
They do want to learn.
It is interesting and sexy.
Inherently, kids want to learnabout that.
But I was amazed at how littlecollege students knew I had just
been a college student and Ifelt like I was able to really
(03:36):
weave in truth, speaking topeople's conscience about sex
and how valuable it is and howimportant it is and how intimate
it is and how I mean trulynaked, both metaphorically and
literally it is, and I startedto build a lot of confidence in
talking about it, but that wasonly through prayer and
dependence on the Lord andseeing that it was his and not
(03:59):
mine like, and not Satan'seither.
It wasn't this evil subject, itwas an evil topic.
It wasn't evil to teach.
It was actually a really good,inherently beautiful topic.
But the world has really takenit away from that beauty because
Satan wants to use it for evil.
And so I became startedbecoming passionate about it
(04:21):
then, but had no idea that itwas going to be the course of my
life and I've been continuinglike in this field because God
has drawn me back to it againand again and again.
Uh, and I think it's becausethere's a gap for Christians in
this space.
You don't know how to talkabout sex with their kids and
they don't know how to confrontall the hard topics of our
culture.
But I do.
(04:41):
I've done that many, many times, and so filming it and
providing it for families, forkids, like I think you said,
three to 18.
I mean that whole lifespan ofchildhood is really important to
me.
It's a continual conversation,you know.
It's not just to talk anylonger.
Jessica Jenkins (05:00):
So for the ages three to 18, how many different
programs do you have available?
Because obviously the wayyou're going to explain sex ed
to a 16 year old is completelydifferent than what you would do
with a three year old.
So I'm assuming you havedifferent programs, not just
like one big one.
Kristen Miele (05:17):
Yes, so I have a program for three to six year
olds which is called the YoungLearner.
Jessica Jenkins (05:21):
Learner.
Kristen Miele (05:21):
Curriculum year olds, which is called the young
learner curriculum, and it'staught at their level.
It's very like you know, I kindof changed my voice to make it
more childish and engaging.
For that, those kids and theirworkbook is very different.
It's more um, simple andcolor-based and um, it's really
about parents watching it withtheir kids at that point,
(05:41):
because they're so little videosare shorter, since their
attention spans are shorter, andwe go over simple things like
body language, understandingabout somebody's body language.
So if they're, saying no withtheir body, then we're not going
to give them a hug or um, howto verbally say no If you don't
want somebody to kiss you, touchyou, um, uh well, how, what to
(06:07):
what?
To call parts of your body,like appropriate names, the real
names, and how.
There's no embarrassment inthat these are the real names
for your body, but some of yourlittle friends might not know
these names, so we can just usethem at home and use them with
the doctor, and it's mainlyfocused on safety for that age
group, because that's I meanthat's an abuse age group,
because that's I mean that's anabuse, Absolutely Like that age
(06:27):
can be taken advantage of easily.
Abuse happens in that age.
So them understanding what itis and calling it what it is,
without it being like this superdepressing, like oh gosh, we're
having this intense talk, soit's really engaging, really fun
.
And then after that is seven to10 year olds, which are
elementary learners.
And this.
It's broken up this way basedon my experience, because I've
spent 15 years in classrooms andso to me it made the most sense
(06:51):
.
That's that's more information,that gets more difficult topics
, but it still keeps it prettysimple and straightforward.
And then, after that, 11 to 13year olds my preteen curriculum
has a ton of content in it.
I mean almost a hundred videosof lessons, full workbook, like
really is getting at everything,but still noting that many of
(07:14):
the kids in that age group mightnot have experienced or had
conversations around this topic.
Have experienced, you know, withthe topic, Right, so um, but
it's really a lot about pubertyas well.
Yeah, and then 14 to 18 yearold is my last curriculum and
that's kind of the same.
It's just expansive.
I really expound upon all thetopics and get at it with kids
(07:37):
who are wondering things and areabout to go off into the world
and like need to have aworldview developed at that
point on some level right and beable to answer culture, and I
want kids to feel armed andready to do that, not just with
the right answers but with, like, an ability to engage and think
about these topics critically.
Jessica Jenkins (07:57):
Yeah, absolutely.
And so I'm assuming and thatwas you said four different
programs and I'm assuming eachof them kind of stand alone.
So if somebody is just hearingabout this and they have a
15-year-old, they don't have toworry that they didn't do the
three to six-year-old program.
They can just pick up whateverage their kids are at.
Kristen Miele (08:16):
Yes, completely, and I do get asked that a good
amount and I need to probablymake it even clearer on the
website.
But on my website you can seethe breakdown and the content in
each curriculum and you canactually hover over the content
to see like what I talk aboutmore.
So not only does it list outthe content but like expands on
that a little bit with pop uptext bubbles.
(08:36):
But yeah, you don't need to.
If you're just starting ateight, you don't need to review
the three to six because that iswritten for like toddlers so
it's not really going to applyto your eight-year-old Love it.
Jessica Jenkins (08:46):
And I love that your website goes in more depth
, because different kids havedifferent abilities, different
maturity levels.
Maybe your 10-year-old actuallyneeds the 11 to 13 rather than,
or your 12-year-old isdevelopmentally behind.
They really need the younger.
So that really allows parentsto see okay, what is my child
needing at this stage?
Kristen Miele (09:07):
Completely.
Yeah, I'm glad you bring thatup, because sometimes I have
somebody, let's say they have adaughter who's nine and a son
who's 11, and their son isneurodivergent and so they're
like, well, I'm just going toactually have my kids watch it
together the seven to 10 yearold curriculum because he's
maybe not quite there, he hasn'treally started going through
puberty yet.
I think he'll be okay watchingit with his sister.
He gets along with his sisterwell enough, et cetera.
(09:29):
So it can totally be flexiblefor your family and your unique
circumstances.
Jessica Jenkins (09:34):
I love that.
I absolutely love that.
So one of the things we do onthis podcast is talk about women
of the Bible.
So I always try to ask those Ihave as guests who your favorite
woman of the things we do onthis podcast is talk about women
of the Bible.
So I always try to ask those Ihave as guests who your favorite
woman of the Bible is.
Kristen Miele (09:50):
I love that question.
I think that's great.
There's so many women mentionedin the Bible and they're so
powerful and strong in their ownrights, and I think I was
thinking about this questionlike different seasons of my
life.
I feel like I would choosedifferent women because they
speak to that season.
But as of now I and there's nota ton about her in the Bible,
(10:16):
but Priscilla, which will soundfamiliar- to most people.
She was just such a powerfulchurch leader and I love that
she led the church but alsoreally worked alongside not only
her husband but thecongregation.
And I found in Acts 18, 26, itsays it's talking about somebody
(10:37):
else and it says he began tospeak boldly in the synagogue
when Priscilla heard him, sheand her husband invited him to
their home and explained to himthe way of God more adequately.
So it's almost like they heardthe speaker and they were like,
okay, that's great, but we feellike we can disciple him a
little bit more, speak into hislife a little bit more, help
maybe refine or continuesanctification process.
And they like invited him overand just hung with him and I can
(10:58):
only imagine the conversationsthat they had.
But I just think that that'ssuch a cool, it's, it's it's
almost you barely like noticethe verse, but it's almost like
they were just like I'm gonnatake him under our wing too and
like pour into him theologically, spiritually, whatever.
Yes, and I appreciate that.
So she's maybe a minor, veryminor character, but I like that
(11:21):
she felt called to lead and wasgoing to do so by ministering
to I mean, I think it says likein Acts 2, like the poor and the
young and other leaders andreally figure out how Jesus fit
into the greater story and howthey could disciple others.
So I like that.
Jessica Jenkins (11:43):
Yeah, she's absolutely fantastic.
I love that.
And just listening to you talkthinking about our topic at hand
, sex education, your favoritewoman of the Bible and the early
church with the female leaders.
Titus 2 talks about older womenteaching younger women, thinking
about how potentially in thesecultures it's the older women's
job to give younger women sexeducation.
(12:06):
So that could be part of whatthese women are doing is helping
the congregation, butespecially the younger women,
because they probably would havesplit up those any sex
conversations by gender, becausethey probably would have split
up those any sex conversationsby gender how the older women
would be hands-on helpingprepare younger women for their
(12:26):
marriages and their lives andall of that sort of thing.
And so that's just a reallyneat thing to think about how
that could be part of theancient culture.
And especially since you'redealing with house churches,
you're not dealing with our ideaof church where everybody's
kind of far away from each other, not related, you know.
You're dealing with smallgroups of people where there's
this deep family relationshipwhere, on multiple levels, it
(12:50):
would be appropriate for theolder women to be giving sex
education to the younger womanin that both household and
church spiritual setting.
Kristen Miele (13:00):
I love that.
That's a really good point itmakes me think of the tents in
like the Old Testament, wherethey would go during their time
of uncleanliness, right, and Ijust wonder what kind of
fellowship happens there forwomen like and even around
sexual health, education andpuberty in their bodies.
Did they talk about periods andwhat they knew about periods
and you know how pregnancyhappened or what pregnancy and
(13:21):
childbirth were like?
Like, did they have a reallydeep connection during that time
?
And obviously we don't needtents anymore, we don't do that
anymore but like it could havebeen a really beautiful time of
women connecting with otherwomen and, like you're saying,
older women really guiding andleading too.
I don't know, but that's kindof my assumption.
Yeah guiding and leading to Idon't know, but that's kind of
my assumption.
Jessica Jenkins (13:39):
Yeah, and I find even today and I'll be
curious to see if this is yourexperience as well just in the
realm of sexuality, I find thatwomen talk about it a lot more
than men do.
We hear about men and likelocker room talk and those sorts
of things.
I was telling my husband theother day I was like men in
(14:00):
unhealthy relationships or whohave an unhealthy view of
sexuality talk about it a lot inbad ways.
Men with healthy views ofsexuality generally don't talk
about it at all.
Women in healthierrelationships often feel safe
enough to talk about it.
It's the ones who are inunhealthy relationships who
don't.
(14:21):
He was like yeah, I thinkthat's right, because I know
more about my friend's sex livesthan my husband knows about his
.
I know things about some of hisfriend's sex lives because I'm
friends with their wives thathe's clueless on.
Not that we're just sharingrandom details, but women, you
know birth control, this, thatthe other thing, how our bodies
(14:43):
work.
We're we're sharing those sortsof details.
Do you find similar experiencesas well?
Kristen Miele (14:49):
Oh, completely.
I mean, that's such a goodpoint.
And again, like you're saying,I don't think it's just to air
dirty laundry and like talkabout super intimate stuff that
you wouldn't, your husbandwouldn't want other people to
know, right?
It's more like we just shareabout our lives more fully and
we fellowship differently.
And you know my, my husband andI went on the mission field
(15:10):
abroad for years and one of thethings we noticed was that
within the missionary communitythere we never talked about this
topic.
Oh, wow, yeah, and the reasonthat that mattered is because we
ended up leaving the field dueto some sexual brokenness on the
field and lack of really caringabout that, even from higher up
agency levels, um, who aresupporting us.
(15:32):
And so when we came back, myhusband was really intentional
about in our community group orlike some people call it, life
group or whatever, bible study,bible study um, he would hang
out with the men that we wouldhave male and like men and guy
or girl nights and we'd split upand he would like talk about
sexual brokenness andaccountability and like who is
participating in this and whyand how can we help you, um, to
(15:54):
get away from that?
And he's just a lot better attalking about sex and sexuality
because he he saw so much painand realize it's because men
typically don't share that kindof stuff.
Yeah, and that hurts the bodyand actually I think that's what
Satan wants.
I think Satan wants men to bereal quiet on it, unless it's a
big joke or, like you said, alocker room talk situation which
(16:16):
is sexual immaturity?
Yes, but it's not totally theirfault.
It's because they've neverreally been discipled in that
and led in that and shown howcan I talk about this and still
be honoring to God, but also behonest and authentic.
And maybe that's not with like20 guys, right, but with a fair
friends, yeah so, and that canonly help your marriages and
help your families Absolutely.
Jessica Jenkins (16:39):
And I feel like some of what you're describing
is some of the toxicity you'reseeing and how from purity
culture and how that affects men.
Almost this shutdown of alldesire you can't even notice a
beautiful one like noticing isequated with lust in purity
culture, and so men are just insome ways taught in religious
circles to be shut down about it.
Kristen Miele (17:02):
You're spot on.
I was just talking withsomebody yesterday who wrote a
really great book, and I havethis on my resource page on my
website.
Okay, I can send you a link aswell, but it's written towards
men and it's called the Sex Talkwe Never Got yes.
Jessica Jenkins (17:13):
Written by a male counselor.
Kristen Miele (17:14):
Yes, and he was saying that men have been
sexualized, which, when I thinkof that word, like probably most
people when they hear that word, I think of women and how women
are obviously sexualized.
Right, like noticing beauty is,like you said, uh, conflated
with like, oh, that's lust, andit's very confused with, um,
(17:34):
yeah, just wanting them, or oressentially lusting after them,
just like you said.
But masculine sexualization ismore about making men seem like
this is all they want.
This is all they need.
This is the only way to talkabout it is to talk about it in
a degrading way and there'snothing more to it.
You know, sex is kind of a game.
What basis can you get to?
Did you score that kind oflanguage?
(17:58):
And that's a sexualization ofmasculinity.
And I thought that was a reallyinteresting point, because men
have been sexualized andessentially conditioned,
socially conditioned, to act andbe that way, when that is
certainly not what we're calledto at all.
And so there's much more to sexand we know that there's much
more to sex and I'm big on thatin my curriculum, by starting
(18:19):
young, with boys and girls on,like, naming emotions clear,
about what your emotions are,and as they get a little bit
older, I clearly say, like, ifyou know what you're dealing
with, if you know your emotionand why you're having it, you're
going to be less driven towardsaddictive behaviors like porn,
because you're not going to begoing to porn for your assertion
(18:40):
of independence or power or todeal with your anxiety or
depression or your sadness or asa reward.
You're going to respond to youremotions in a healthy way
because you have a higheremotional intelligence, and
that's something that wasn'tsuper encouraged with men or
women when they were young, butparticularly with little boys.
Yeah, it was a missed.
(19:00):
Yeah, it was gap.
Jessica Jenkins (19:01):
Yeah, I feel like a lot of Christian men just
bouncing off of what you say.
Their sex ed was from thesecular culture and so when
they're trying to live godlylives, it's mixed with the
secular culture.
Sexualization of men that youjust described, and especially
godly men, they have thatpush-pull like sex is important
(19:25):
to me and they're trying tountangle threads.
They're not always sure how todo that, so they are quiet about
it, which can then,unfortunately, I would imagine,
lead to perpetuating the cycle,because they then don't know how
to talk about it with their ownchildren and how to bring it to
(19:46):
their children and to modelhealthy male views around sex
for their families um for theirfamilies.
Kristen Miele (20:00):
Yeah, I completely agree.
Um, totally spot on.
And that's that's one of thebiggest hindrances towards
discipling your kids sexuallyessentially is because there's
no model for it.
You don't know how to do that.
At most Maybe you got a book oryou got to talk, or I mean
honestly when I ask people atconferences and parents um, at
conferences or in group settings, you know where I'm teaching or
something.
And I mean honestly when I askpeople at conferences and
(20:20):
parents at conferences or ingroup settings where I'm
teaching or something.
And I say, who in here feelslike they had great sex ed and
they really learned well, it'stypically people who grew up in
secular families.
There was no faith background,and so their mom or dad or both
were really honest about sexwith them.
They didn't care, there was noshame there.
They were maybe overly honestabout their own behaviors, but
(20:41):
that.
Or like they grew up with adoctor in the family or a nurse
who was very clear, so at leastthey got good anatomy lessons
and they learned all theappropriate names and there
wasn't shame around the body.
Um, but it's like that.
Those are like the only twooptions.
I never hear people say, oh mygosh.
I had such great success frommy family, my parents, they were
so great, they're wonderfulabout it and I grew up in a
(21:02):
Christian family.
Like that is a rarity and Ithink that's a work of spiritual
warfare and Satan.
But I also think it's becauseit perpetuates that cycle Like
you're talking about.
They just don't know how to doit in the next generation, so
they don't choose to bedisengaged with that, not to ask
their kids not to talk about itIf they do.
(21:22):
It's really awkward.
Jessica Jenkins (21:23):
Yeah, yeah, because I'm trying to think
generations here.
I know purity culture for ourgeneration was a big thing.
It kind of rose during my latehigh school.
Early college was like theheyday of purity culture and I
(21:45):
feel like some of that was myparents' generation push back on
like the sexual revolution.
They want to bring it in bounds, but they ended up creating a
pendulum to the other side oftoxicity on the other side.
And I feel like now we'retrying to be like how do we
train our kids, teach them aboutsex in age-appropriate ways
alongside and I love this withyour curriculum.
I'm so excited.
I love that you are weavingtogether sex education, the
(22:08):
information they need, with someemotional intelligence
components, with things thathelp prevent them from being
abused Like.
I love that you're weaving allof those things together because
those are what our generationneeded.
Kristen Miele (22:24):
I mean it is.
It's a response to that.
I'm glad you picked up on thatand saw that, because it's a
very full, holistic conversationaround sex and that's, I think,
what the Lord wants.
That's how he designed it.
He designed it as all partsthat go together.
All of it is meant to glorifyand reflect his goodness and sex
, doesn't the sex talk?
(22:44):
Well, first of all, I don'tbelieve in the talk.
Right, it should be a lot ofconversation, like I said
earlier, but the sex talk is notabout the mechanics of actually
having sex.
It is so much bigger than thatand just to reduce it to like,
quote unquote, the plumbing issilly.
It's so unnecessary because it'sactually a much more beautiful,
full conversation about theintegration of like self and how
we operate in the world and howwe view the opposite sex and
(23:07):
dating and healthy marriage, andhow we call out abuse and stand
up for social justice and that,and it really is a full
conversation around the topicand that's why there's so much.
I don't want parents to feeloverwhelmed Like, oh my gosh,
she has 100 lessons in here.
That's so much, right.
It's just because there's a lotthat you can discuss and talk
about and really fully put intoconversations, and I want that
(23:32):
to be available to parents, whojust need some language for it
language for it.
Jessica Jenkins (23:39):
Absolutely.
And in I'm going to bounce offof what you just said with the
hundred lessons and parentsfeeling overwhelmed, cause I
know lots of busy parents,that's can happen very easily.
Um, running kids back to sportspractices when I'm going to
have time to view a hundredlessons, are those?
And the a hundred lessons wasthe 11 to 13 program, kind of
middle school.
Yeah, 11 and up, 11 and up.
Okay, so you have a hundredlessons there.
(24:00):
Are they like sequential, likeyou need to watch them one, two,
three, four, or are they likeokay, this is the topic we
really need to hit today,because X happened at school, so
we're going to hit lesson 23.
How does that work within theprogram?
Kristen Miele (24:15):
Yeah, you're right on again it's.
You can do either, like I havea calendar with each curriculum
that tells you how thecurriculum can be viewed,
according to how I planned it,um, but you don't have to do
that.
So, let's say, your 10 year oldgoes to school, goes to school
today, and one, or I don't know,goes to a church group or
whatever sports camp andsomebody there is like I'm no
(24:36):
longer using those pronouns andthey're 10, and you're like man,
we already have to have thisconversation.
Like I don't know what to doabout that.
I don't know how to respond tothat.
Um, you can go watch the pronounvideo, like you know.
You don't have to wait untilit's scheduled.
You can go watch it, you canreview it and you get lifetime
access to curriculum, so you canwatch it as much as you want.
It can use it for your youngerkids as they grow up into that
age.
But it is very flexible for thefamily to watch what applies,
(25:04):
because things do happen, eventsdo occur.
They might hear about somethingmaybe the news and all of this
conversation about politics andwe're talking about abortion in
the news and it's like, well,let's actually watch her video
on that and see what she saysand engage on this topic and
think about how we can respondto this topic.
So you don't have to go inorder, but I do lay out an order
there if you want to kind ofhave a proper schedule
(25:26):
especially for likehomeschooling parents or
something so that they canschedule it.
Jessica Jenkins (25:30):
And that's really that's.
I love that.
It's a both and like you can doeither or both.
And you mentioned for theyoungest program that it's
something you expect kind ofparents to watch with the kids.
The older programs obviouslyparents watching with the kids
is always going to be a benefit.
It can provide conversations,but is it necessary?
Kristen Miele (25:50):
good question.
No, it's not like by the timethat they can push, play and
pause on their own.
Uh, it's not they, they, theydon't have to watch it.
I think it's unique to thefamily.
I think some kids, probablyalready by seven, eight, nine,
don't feel as comfortablewatching it with their parent.
And so maybe their parent checksin after, or they review their
workbook or they um say, hey,I've already watched those
(26:11):
videos.
And I know one of the questionsshe asked was this like, what
did you say to that?
So maybe they engage on in thatcapacity?
But other parents are like,yeah, I can totally watch my
nine-year-old like she wouldwant me to.
So it really depends.
But pretty much, after they'reable to and you trust them to
actually engage with it, theycan watch it on their own.
(26:31):
It's up to the parents.
Jessica Jenkins (26:39):
What I'm trying to figure out how to formulate
this question.
Um, I'm going to give you thebackground, then I'll figure out
how to formulate the question.
Um, I try at the beginning ofthe school year to just have
kind of a week where I spendsome extra focus, like we try to
weave sex ed conversations intolife all the time anyway.
But right before school startsmy kids go to public school.
I try to have a little bitextra education just to make
sure that they are rememberingdetails, because who knows what
(27:01):
they're going to hear at schooland I want to make sure we've
talked about it first.
But as we were doing that thisyear, I noticed one of my kids.
I was reading a book about itand the child got up and just
started, like they're stilllistening, but they were
uncomfortable and wandering theroom and, you know, just showing
various signs and even was likethat kind of makes me
(27:22):
uncomfortable and I'm like, okay, well, you need the basic
information.
But thank you for telling mehow you feel.
What sort of signs and signalswould you have parents looking
out for for the comfort levelsof their kids and how would you
recommend parents respond tothat, since this can be a very
shame filled kind of for allparties tricky topic to talk
(27:44):
about.
Kristen Miele (27:44):
Yeah that's a great question.
I love your response to yourchild that you said like you do
need this information, but Irecognize your discomfort.
I think acknowledging likenormalizing that, acknowledging
the discomfort and saying yeah,that's that's how I felt or
that's how many kids feel, orthis topic can be uncomfortable.
Could you tell me a little bitmore about why you feel
(28:04):
uncomfortable or did anythinghappen at school that made you
uncomfortable?
Um, and kind of ask them a fewquestions to see if they will
respond to that or open up aboutthat?
But I think it's okay to pause,even for a few weeks or a few
days, to pray about it, to askthe Holy Spirit for discernment
(28:25):
on where to go next.
Maybe if they are doing like inmy curriculum with the workbook
and writing their answers out,kind of reviewing those answers
with them, reviewing what theyhave learned and affirming this
is really good information, likeyou were made well, your body
is a good thing and this is soimportant for you to learn about
.
But I understand if it makes youuncomfortable, like we can
(28:46):
pause for a little bit.
I would just try to get at theparticulars.
What exactly was it?
Because sometimes there couldhave been an event or they could
be reminded of something, ormaybe they saw a scary TV show
or something that you knowpictured what I was talking
about in the video and theyaren't sure how to articulate
that to you.
So I would really engage withthe child.
But pause, there's no need towatch um in discomfort.
(29:11):
But if they do seem likethey're almost like moving
inward with their body, likethey're kind of covering their
eyes or which, there's nothingweird that they're going to see
them but, like you know, they'recrossing their arms.
They seem unengaged, they don't.
Maybe they're providing someresistance, like I don't really
want to watch those.
First of all, I think that'snormal developmentally for kids
to do, but also, um, to questiona little bit.
(29:33):
Well, can you tell me why?
Because I know when I was a kid, like I really needed to learn
this, but nobody talked to meabout it, and I just want to be
a space for you to talk aboutthis.
We can take a break for acouple months or something like
that.
Yeah, but making sure thatthere wasn't like an event.
Jessica Jenkins (29:48):
Yeah, or you know.
That's really wise, yeah yeah,wise, yeah yeah.
Because I know different kids.
Some kids are curious, somekids are not.
When I first became a mom, Iremember like follow your kids,
curiosity, only answer as muchas they're asking, and those
sorts of things.
But one of my kids never asks,doesn't want to know, doesn't?
And so I kind of have to belike all right, love, I'm gonna
(30:08):
have to give you some detailshere.
You're not curious, you're notasking, but I have to.
You're going to go to schooland you're in fourth grade and
somebody is going to saysomething and you need to hear
it from me first.
So how do you recommendnavigating kids who aren't
curious?
I feel like the curious onesare a little bit easier, but how
do you recommend navigatingkids who aren't curious?
(30:30):
Maybe not asking, or, as youmentioned, a neurodivergent
child who's a little bitdevelopmentally behind, but
maybe they're in sports orpublic school settings where
other kids who aren'tdevelopmentally behind are going
to be talking about these sortsof things.
Kristen Miele (30:44):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think if they're not curious,that could very well mean they
don't have questions about thetopic and aren't concerned.
So you might want to start atthings that they need to be
concerned about.
For example, like a 14 year oldneurodivergent boy is still
going through puberty and hisbody is still starting to smell
and he's still growing hair andmaybe he needs to consider
(31:05):
shaving or showering more.
He might still be having, youknow, like erections in the
night that he doesn't know whatthose are, and so acknowledging
that kind of element in the roomwas like hey, your body is
going through this and so I knowyou might not have questions,
you might not be curious, which,frankly, is probably not true.
He probably does have somequestions in there at some point
, right, but you might not beasking questions.
(31:26):
But I really want you to learnabout anatomically what your
body is going through and whyit's going through what it is,
and so you could start with morefactual stuff there.
You don't have to get into allthe big ideas of sexuality and
kind of the hard hitting topics.
You could just start with thebasic facts of like I want you
to make sure that you're beinghealthy and that you're being
(31:46):
safe and so we're going to watch, as it relates to my curriculum
.
Or you could say we're going totalk about these three topics
we're going to, and then that'sit and we'll stop there and you
can let me know later and aquestion might come up six weeks
later for him or her about thetopic, and then you know you can
do a little bit more, um, butif they're, if they genuinely
don't seem curious or interested, then I would at least start
(32:09):
with the facts and take kind ofa health approach to like I just
want you to be healthy and safeas you go through this, cause
you and a lot of your friendsare going to be going through
puberty and that can be hard,but everybody goes through it,
it's normal, it's necessary, um,and I want you to know why and
how to, how to deal practicallywith some of that.
Jessica Jenkins (32:26):
Yeah, I love that.
No, that's really helpful.
One thing I have heard just inmy perusings of this topic is
that it's very helpful for thekids to have the parents not
position themselves as expertsnecessarily, but to let the kids
know that they know about thetopic.
I saw something online about amom who her little boy saw porn
(32:52):
and he didn't even think to tellher because it never come up in
conversation and he didn't know.
Mommy even knew what porn was,so why would he tell her?
Because he didn't know she knewthese things existed.
How can parents?
Obviously your sex edcurriculum is a great way, but
what's other ways that they cankind of position themselves as
experts?
(33:13):
Like you can ask mommy anddaddy anything.
Ask us before Google.
Like you can ask mommy anddaddy anything ask us before
Google.
Like how can parents do that tohelp their children and open up
those lanes of conversation?
Kristen Miele (33:23):
Yes, I love this question because it's very
practical and I'm all aboutpracticality and how you
actually play out this narrativein the real world.
So one way I think that parentscan make sure that they are the
safe space and that their kidsdon't go to Google and ask their
friends stuff because theydon't think their parents know
or can answer, is to utilizedaily opportunities or weekly
(33:44):
opportunities.
So maybe, like, for example,the other day, I was at kind of
a fair, like a town fair, if youwant to call it that, and there
were gay couples walking aroundand my daughter already knows
what that is and knows thatfamilies are different and
people have different values andall of this.
But she asked me somethingabout one of the couples and I
(34:08):
answered and it sounds so simple, but so many of us grew up in
an environment where we had aquestion and we were shut down
or we were told it wasn'tappropriate or not to worry
about it or it didn't matter orlike oh, that's, that's too big
for you, that's too heavy foryou.
And to this day I mean, I sawit's kind of a gripe for me, but
(34:28):
I saw a big Christian radiostation like one of the most
popular Christian radio stations.
They posted about sex, which Ithought was kind of weird and
random.
But they posted that if yourkid asks you what is sex, you
can tell them it's too heavy forthem to carry, it's like a
heavy piece of baggage.
And so many people were like,oh my gosh, yes.
But then actually there was alot of commenters because I went
(34:51):
down that rabbit hole of like,no, that's not an appropriate
answer.
Your kid is asking you what itis.
You need to have some sort ofanswer for them.
And anyway and it was funnybecause the radio station was
using a real life example fromCorrie ten Boom, which is a long
time ago so I was just like,hey, maybe that was appropriate.
Then it no longer is.
(35:11):
We have devices and sex iseverywhere.
So, anyway, um, some advicedoes not age.
Yeah, yeah, it seems nice,though Right, like, oh, this is
too heavy for you, you can'tcarry it.
It's like, yeah, that's nicefor the parent, cause they don't
have to engage in anythinguncomfortable and they can just
move on, but it does nothing forthe kid.
Jessica Jenkins (35:28):
Who's honestly curious?
Kristen Miele (35:30):
Yeah, you want to show your kid you are the safe
space by answering questions, bybeing present, by even
utilizing these dailyopportunities of like hey, mom,
I noticed.
I mean your kid is not going tosay it this maturely but
essentially.
I noticed on the news thatthey're talking about abortion,
Like why do we believe what webelieve again?
And you bring that up or yousay, hey, what do you know about
(35:50):
this?
Or what do your friends thinkabout this topic?
Or what are your friends sayingabout this topic?
Or maybe you're watching a TVprogram together and a couple is
not treating each other welland there's red flags about a
guy or a girl who's dating.
You can say, do you know whatred flags are in a relationship?
Like would you put up with theway that he's treating her?
What would you do if aboyfriend did that?
(36:11):
How would you respond?
Really, asking them and even ifthey're like I don't know, you
know, I'm not sure, like it'snot going to happen to me, it
gets them thinking and realizingthat you are a safe space and
that, what if this did happen?
How would I respond?
Because things happen toChristians too.
Jessica Jenkins (36:26):
Yeah.
Kristen Miele (36:27):
All the time.
We enter into bad relationships.
We get manipulated Um, we mightsext and then experience
ramifications from that.
We get into porn, we deal withabuse, we're victims Like all of
these things can happen to us.
You know, christians getabortions.
So we need to talk to ourChristian children who are going
(36:47):
to grow up to be Christianadults, ideally still love the
Lord about these situations.
Why do they happen?
What are the outcomes?
How can we respond in a lovingmatter manner to those who
experienced them?
And that's really justutilizing daily opportunities to
ask them what they think andwhy they think about that.
And that shows that you do careand they're more likely to come
(37:09):
to you when they see porn at asleepover or something, because
you've already provided thatspace for them porn at a
sleepover or something, becauseyou've already provided that
space for them.
Jessica Jenkins (37:22):
Yes, I love that.
That's so practical andhands-on.
Our time is almost up.
I've been loving thisconversation.
Is there any final thoughts oreducation you want to share with
our audience about sexeducation and what you do?
Kristen Miele (37:33):
Sure, I think my final thought for parents who
are listening is that you can dothis.
It is doable.
You don't need to make it intosome big talk.
This sit down thing where youpass your kid a book and you ask
them if they have any questionsand you move on Like this, is
not your parents or the babyboomers generation any longer.
Many of us did go through purityculture.
(37:53):
We did experience legalism orwe experienced what the world
thought of sex and sexuality andit wasn't super helpful and we
learned from Google.
And first I think you need toreckon with that.
You need to think about yourown sex ed whether you're a dad
or a mom and consider how thatimpacted you.
Pray about that Journal, aboutthat.
(38:13):
Maybe there's something youhaven't dealt with from your
past.
Maybe you even need to seek outa little bit of counseling to
really consider Go through thatkind of thing first, if you can
your own viewpoints on it all.
I mean I have couples reach outand I should say I have women
reach out more commonly who saymy husband does not want to talk
(38:34):
about this, so I'm going to endup doing it all.
So like, can you, you know,what would you recommend?
And it's like man that kind ofbreaks my heart a little bit
because there's probably areason he won't and he needs to
like for his own life and hisown joy and his own relationship
with the Lord and his wife,like he needs to dig into that,
even though it can suck.
So I would encourage parents todig into their own worldviews
(38:55):
and experience of sex at first,or in lack thereof, and then
know that you're still qualified.
You can still do this, it isdoable.
The reason I provideconversations for kids to watch
and listen to is because I wantto give parents the language by
actually just doing it like forthem.
(39:15):
But that's not where it ends.
You are then meant to engageand have organic conversation
from there, and you will Iguarantee that you will when
this is a topic that's exploredin your house.
So it's doable, but it's reallygood for us to be looking
inward and thinking about how amI impacted by my youth and what
my parents did or didn't teachme, or school did or didn't
(39:36):
teach me church, et cetera andwhat do I want to pass on to my
kids.
Jessica Jenkins (39:41):
What don't I yeah?
Kristen Miele (39:42):
Yeah.
Jessica Jenkins (39:43):
That is such great advice and I love how you
really brought out theintrospection us as parents need
to do.
I know, especially for usadults, parents who have sexual
abuse, sexual assault in ourbackground, that can make it
extra difficult to engage thesetopics with our kids, because
(40:04):
PTSD, all of anxiety, bodyreactions to even talking about
sexual things, to a sexual abusesurvivor can be exceptionally
triggering, and so I appreciatethat you have curriculum like
this that can also provide abuffer for those parents.
They need to do their owninternal work counseling, all of
(40:26):
the things but their kidsaren't necessarily going to stop
growing up until the parentshave done all the internal work,
and so your curriculum providesthat buffer where they can
still have conversations, makesure their kids are getting the
information they need in a safeway, but they don't have to
drive every conversation fully.
(40:47):
They can kind of bounce off ofwhat you teach, and I love that
you provide that resource forpeople who just don't know
themselves, people who aren'tsure how to handle tricky
situations, victims of abuse,where it can be literally
triggering, all of those things.
I love what you're doing.
I am so thankful for it.
Thank you for joining me todayand I cannot wait for our
(41:11):
listeners to get your curriculumin their hands Again.
She has a 15% off coupon.
The code is Christian Parenting.
You can get that on her website, which I will link her website,
her Instagram, the coupon code,all of the goodies will be in
the description of this episode.
Thank you so much, christian.
(41:32):
It has been a pleasure to haveyou.
Kristen Miele (41:34):
Oh, thank you.
I so appreciate you reachingout and I'm glad we could
connect.
This was really fun andencouraging, Awesome.
Jessica Jenkins (41:43):
Well, may the Lord bless you all and keep you.
May his face shine upon you andgive you peace.
Have a great day Until nexttime.
We will see you then.
Welcome back to the we who Thirst podcast.
With me today is Kristen fromSex Ed Reclaimed.
I cannot wait to hear what sheis going to tell us.
Kristen has been a sexualhealth educator for 15 years.
She is the owner and founder ofSex Ed Reclaimed, which
provides Christian families witha full video library which I
(00:24):
love of age-appropriate sexhealth education for children
ages 13 to 18.
So pretty much your kid'sentire life at home with you.
Her curriculum's available onher website and she even has
free samples available.
I'll mention it now as well aslater.
She also has a 15% off couponfor those who are listening and
(00:49):
you can use the CH code forthat 15% off on her website.
I'll also have that in the shownotes comments so you can see
that as well.
Good morning, kristen.
It is so great to have you here.
Kristen Miele (01:05):
Good morning.
Thank you, jessica, for havingme.
Jessica Jenkins (01:07):
I appreciate it , so tell me how did you get
interested in sexual education?
What kind of background do youhave?
I am just so curious in theorigin story of everything that
you're doing.
Kristen Miele (01:26):
Sure, yeah.
My origin story is basicallyrooted in like God's call on my
life.
I never was necessarily driventowards or passionate about sex
ed.
As a young person.
I didn't have much sex edmyself.
Rather, I got a lot of silenceand I think I did feel some
shame around learning about sex,like many of us did, because it
wasn't talked about veryfrequently and so you knew it
(01:48):
was like this forbidden subject,even though you had questions
and curiosities and desires andleanings.
None of those things were trulydiscussed or seemed to be cared
for, and so this was definitelynot where we thought my life
was heading.
But I ended up um, essentially Itransferred to a big 10
(02:10):
university from a Christianuniversity.
I felt a little bit bad aboutthat because I was like leaving
this seemingly like realChristian community to go to the
secular place.
But it was really in thesecular place, so to speak, that
I grew in my faith a lot and inthat place I started studying
public health and I saw a lot ofgospel correlation with
(02:32):
community health and caring forpeople, meeting them where
they're at, helping them to livehealthier lives based on their
choices and availability ofresources and care and
connection to like service asthe gospel ordains it and
commands it really.
And so I loved public health.
(02:53):
But then I decided to stay atthat university for my graduate
degree and during that time waswhen I was assigned to teach
human sexuality.
Okay, and I was really scaredabout that because, like I said,
I had never talked about thesubject but there was really no
option and human sexuality was areally popular class.
(03:14):
I'm sure some of your listenerswho had that offered in college
collegiate settings know likeit's just a popular class
because people do want to talkabout it, they do want to learn,
it is interesting and sexyinherently because people do
want to talk about it.
They do want to learn.
It is interesting and sexy.
Inherently, kids want to learnabout that.
But I was amazed at how littlecollege students knew I had just
been a college student and Ifelt like I was able to really
(03:36):
weave in truth, speaking topeople's conscience about sex
and how valuable it is and howimportant it is and how intimate
it is and how I mean trulynaked, both metaphorically and
literally it is, and I startedto build a lot of confidence in
talking about it, but that wasonly through prayer and
dependence on the Lord andseeing that it was his and not
(03:59):
mine like, and not Satan'seither.
It wasn't this evil subject, itwas an evil topic.
It wasn't evil to teach.
It was actually a really good,inherently beautiful topic.
But the world has really takenit away from that beauty because
Satan wants to use it for evil.
And so I became startedbecoming passionate about it
(04:21):
then, but had no idea that itwas going to be the course of my
life and I've been continuinglike in this field because God
has drawn me back to it againand again and again.
Uh, and I think it's becausethere's a gap for Christians in
this space.
You don't know how to talkabout sex with their kids and
they don't know how to confrontall the hard topics of our
culture.
But I do.
(04:41):
I've done that many, many times, and so filming it and
providing it for families, forkids, like I think you said,
three to 18.
I mean that whole lifespan ofchildhood is really important to
me.
It's a continual conversation,you know.
It's not just to talk anylonger.
Jessica Jenkins (05:00):
So for the ages three to 18, how many different
programs do you have available?
Because obviously the wayyou're going to explain sex ed
to a 16 year old is completelydifferent than what you would do
with a three year old.
So I'm assuming you havedifferent programs, not just
like one big one.
Kristen Miele (05:17):
Yes, so I have a program for three to six year
olds which is called the YoungLearner.
Jessica Jenkins (05:21):
Learner.
Kristen Miele (05:21):
Curriculum year olds, which is called the young
learner curriculum, and it'staught at their level.
It's very like you know, I kindof changed my voice to make it
more childish and engaging.
For that, those kids and theirworkbook is very different.
It's more um, simple andcolor-based and um, it's really
about parents watching it withtheir kids at that point,
(05:41):
because they're so little videosare shorter, since their
attention spans are shorter, andwe go over simple things like
body language, understandingabout somebody's body language.
So if they're, saying no withtheir body, then we're not going
to give them a hug or um, howto verbally say no If you don't
want somebody to kiss you, touchyou, um, uh well, how, what to
(06:07):
what?
To call parts of your body,like appropriate names, the real
names, and how.
There's no embarrassment inthat these are the real names
for your body, but some of yourlittle friends might not know
these names, so we can just usethem at home and use them with
the doctor, and it's mainlyfocused on safety for that age
group, because that's I meanthat's an abuse age group,
because that's I mean that's anabuse, Absolutely Like that age
(06:27):
can be taken advantage of easily.
Abuse happens in that age.
So them understanding what itis and calling it what it is,
without it being like this superdepressing, like oh gosh, we're
having this intense talk, soit's really engaging, really fun
.
And then after that is seven to10 year olds, which are
elementary learners.
And this.
It's broken up this way basedon my experience, because I've
spent 15 years in classrooms andso to me it made the most sense
(06:51):
.
That's that's more information,that gets more difficult topics
, but it still keeps it prettysimple and straightforward.
And then, after that, 11 to 13year olds my preteen curriculum
has a ton of content in it.
I mean almost a hundred videosof lessons, full workbook, like
really is getting at everything,but still noting that many of
(07:14):
the kids in that age group mightnot have experienced or had
conversations around this topic.
Have experienced, you know, withthe topic, Right, so um, but
it's really a lot about pubertyas well.
Yeah, and then 14 to 18 yearold is my last curriculum and
that's kind of the same.
It's just expansive.
I really expound upon all thetopics and get at it with kids
(07:37):
who are wondering things and areabout to go off into the world
and like need to have aworldview developed at that
point on some level right and beable to answer culture, and I
want kids to feel armed andready to do that, not just with
the right answers but with, like, an ability to engage and think
about these topics critically.
Jessica Jenkins (07:57):
Yeah, absolutely.
And so I'm assuming and thatwas you said four different
programs and I'm assuming eachof them kind of stand alone.
So if somebody is just hearingabout this and they have a
15-year-old, they don't have toworry that they didn't do the
three to six-year-old program.
They can just pick up whateverage their kids are at.
Kristen Miele (08:16):
Yes, completely, and I do get asked that a good
amount and I need to probablymake it even clearer on the
website.
But on my website you can seethe breakdown and the content in
each curriculum and you canactually hover over the content
to see like what I talk aboutmore.
So not only does it list outthe content but like expands on
that a little bit with pop uptext bubbles.
(08:36):
But yeah, you don't need to.
If you're just starting ateight, you don't need to review
the three to six because that iswritten for like toddlers so
it's not really going to applyto your eight-year-old Love it.
Jessica Jenkins (08:46):
And I love that your website goes in more depth
, because different kids havedifferent abilities, different
maturity levels.
Maybe your 10-year-old actuallyneeds the 11 to 13 rather than,
or your 12-year-old isdevelopmentally behind.
They really need the younger.
So that really allows parentsto see okay, what is my child
needing at this stage?
Kristen Miele (09:07):
Completely.
Yeah, I'm glad you bring thatup, because sometimes I have
somebody, let's say they have adaughter who's nine and a son
who's 11, and their son isneurodivergent and so they're
like, well, I'm just going toactually have my kids watch it
together the seven to 10 yearold curriculum because he's
maybe not quite there, he hasn'treally started going through
puberty yet.
I think he'll be okay watchingit with his sister.
He gets along with his sisterwell enough, et cetera.
(09:29):
So it can totally be flexiblefor your family and your unique
circumstances.
Jessica Jenkins (09:34):
I love that.
I absolutely love that.
So one of the things we do onthis podcast is talk about women
of the Bible.
So I always try to ask those Ihave as guests who your favorite
woman of the things we do onthis podcast is talk about women
of the Bible.
So I always try to ask those Ihave as guests who your favorite
woman of the Bible is.
Kristen Miele (09:50):
I love that question.
I think that's great.
There's so many women mentionedin the Bible and they're so
powerful and strong in their ownrights, and I think I was
thinking about this questionlike different seasons of my
life.
I feel like I would choosedifferent women because they
speak to that season.
But as of now I and there's nota ton about her in the Bible,
(10:16):
but Priscilla, which will soundfamiliar- to most people.
She was just such a powerfulchurch leader and I love that
she led the church but alsoreally worked alongside not only
her husband but thecongregation.
And I found in Acts 18, 26, itsays it's talking about somebody
(10:37):
else and it says he began tospeak boldly in the synagogue
when Priscilla heard him, sheand her husband invited him to
their home and explained to himthe way of God more adequately.
So it's almost like they heardthe speaker and they were like,
okay, that's great, but we feellike we can disciple him a
little bit more, speak into hislife a little bit more, help
maybe refine or continuesanctification process.
And they like invited him overand just hung with him and I can
(10:58):
only imagine the conversationsthat they had.
But I just think that that'ssuch a cool, it's, it's it's
almost you barely like noticethe verse, but it's almost like
they were just like I'm gonnatake him under our wing too and
like pour into him theologically, spiritually, whatever.
Yes, and I appreciate that.
So she's maybe a minor, veryminor character, but I like that
(11:21):
she felt called to lead and wasgoing to do so by ministering
to I mean, I think it says likein Acts 2, like the poor and the
young and other leaders andreally figure out how Jesus fit
into the greater story and howthey could disciple others.
So I like that.
Jessica Jenkins (11:43):
Yeah, she's absolutely fantastic.
I love that.
And just listening to you talkthinking about our topic at hand
, sex education, your favoritewoman of the Bible and the early
church with the female leaders.
Titus 2 talks about older womenteaching younger women, thinking
about how potentially in thesecultures it's the older women's
job to give younger women sexeducation.
(12:06):
So that could be part of whatthese women are doing is helping
the congregation, butespecially the younger women,
because they probably would havesplit up those any sex
conversations by gender, becausethey probably would have split
up those any sex conversationsby gender how the older women
would be hands-on helpingprepare younger women for their
(12:26):
marriages and their lives andall of that sort of thing.
And so that's just a reallyneat thing to think about how
that could be part of theancient culture.
And especially since you'redealing with house churches,
you're not dealing with our ideaof church where everybody's
kind of far away from each other, not related, you know.
You're dealing with smallgroups of people where there's
this deep family relationshipwhere, on multiple levels, it
(12:50):
would be appropriate for theolder women to be giving sex
education to the younger womanin that both household and
church spiritual setting.
Kristen Miele (13:00):
I love that.
That's a really good point itmakes me think of the tents in
like the Old Testament, wherethey would go during their time
of uncleanliness, right, and Ijust wonder what kind of
fellowship happens there forwomen like and even around
sexual health, education andpuberty in their bodies.
Did they talk about periods andwhat they knew about periods
and you know how pregnancyhappened or what pregnancy and
(13:21):
childbirth were like?
Like, did they have a reallydeep connection during that time
?
And obviously we don't needtents anymore, we don't do that
anymore but like it could havebeen a really beautiful time of
women connecting with otherwomen and, like you're saying,
older women really guiding andleading too.
I don't know, but that's kindof my assumption.
Yeah guiding and leading to Idon't know, but that's kind of
my assumption.
Jessica Jenkins (13:39):
Yeah, and I find even today and I'll be
curious to see if this is yourexperience as well just in the
realm of sexuality, I find thatwomen talk about it a lot more
than men do.
We hear about men and likelocker room talk and those sorts
of things.
I was telling my husband theother day I was like men in
(14:00):
unhealthy relationships or whohave an unhealthy view of
sexuality talk about it a lot inbad ways.
Men with healthy views ofsexuality generally don't talk
about it at all.
Women in healthierrelationships often feel safe
enough to talk about it.
It's the ones who are inunhealthy relationships who
don't.
(14:21):
He was like yeah, I thinkthat's right, because I know
more about my friend's sex livesthan my husband knows about his
.
I know things about some of hisfriend's sex lives because I'm
friends with their wives thathe's clueless on.
Not that we're just sharingrandom details, but women, you
know birth control, this, thatthe other thing, how our bodies
(14:43):
work.
We're we're sharing those sortsof details.
Do you find similar experiencesas well?
Kristen Miele (14:49):
Oh, completely.
I mean, that's such a goodpoint.
And again, like you're saying,I don't think it's just to air
dirty laundry and like talkabout super intimate stuff that
you wouldn't, your husbandwouldn't want other people to
know, right?
It's more like we just shareabout our lives more fully and
we fellowship differently.
And you know my, my husband andI went on the mission field
(15:10):
abroad for years and one of thethings we noticed was that
within the missionary communitythere we never talked about this
topic.
Oh, wow, yeah, and the reasonthat that mattered is because we
ended up leaving the field dueto some sexual brokenness on the
field and lack of really caringabout that, even from higher up
agency levels, um, who aresupporting us.
(15:32):
And so when we came back, myhusband was really intentional
about in our community group orlike some people call it, life
group or whatever, bible study,bible study um, he would hang
out with the men that we wouldhave male and like men and guy
or girl nights and we'd split upand he would like talk about
sexual brokenness andaccountability and like who is
participating in this and whyand how can we help you, um, to
(15:54):
get away from that?
And he's just a lot better attalking about sex and sexuality
because he he saw so much painand realize it's because men
typically don't share that kindof stuff.
Yeah, and that hurts the bodyand actually I think that's what
Satan wants.
I think Satan wants men to bereal quiet on it, unless it's a
big joke or, like you said, alocker room talk situation which
(16:16):
is sexual immaturity?
Yes, but it's not totally theirfault.
It's because they've neverreally been discipled in that
and led in that and shown howcan I talk about this and still
be honoring to God, but also behonest and authentic.
And maybe that's not with like20 guys, right, but with a fair
friends, yeah so, and that canonly help your marriages and
help your families Absolutely.
Jessica Jenkins (16:39):
And I feel like some of what you're describing
is some of the toxicity you'reseeing and how from purity
culture and how that affects men.
Almost this shutdown of alldesire you can't even notice a
beautiful one like noticing isequated with lust in purity
culture, and so men are just insome ways taught in religious
circles to be shut down about it.
Kristen Miele (17:02):
You're spot on.
I was just talking withsomebody yesterday who wrote a
really great book, and I havethis on my resource page on my
website.
Okay, I can send you a link aswell, but it's written towards
men and it's called the Sex Talkwe Never Got yes.
Jessica Jenkins (17:13):
Written by a male counselor.
Kristen Miele (17:14):
Yes, and he was saying that men have been
sexualized, which, when I thinkof that word, like probably most
people when they hear that word, I think of women and how women
are obviously sexualized.
Right, like noticing beauty is,like you said, uh, conflated
with like, oh, that's lust, andit's very confused with, um,
(17:34):
yeah, just wanting them, or oressentially lusting after them,
just like you said.
But masculine sexualization ismore about making men seem like
this is all they want.
This is all they need.
This is the only way to talkabout it is to talk about it in
a degrading way and there'snothing more to it.
You know, sex is kind of a game.
What basis can you get to?
Did you score that kind oflanguage?
(17:58):
And that's a sexualization ofmasculinity.
And I thought that was a reallyinteresting point, because men
have been sexualized andessentially conditioned,
socially conditioned, to act andbe that way, when that is
certainly not what we're calledto at all.
And so there's much more to sexand we know that there's much
more to sex and I'm big on thatin my curriculum, by starting
(18:19):
young, with boys and girls on,like, naming emotions clear,
about what your emotions are,and as they get a little bit
older, I clearly say, like, ifyou know what you're dealing
with, if you know your emotionand why you're having it, you're
going to be less driven towardsaddictive behaviors like porn,
because you're not going to begoing to porn for your assertion
(18:40):
of independence or power or todeal with your anxiety or
depression or your sadness or asa reward.
You're going to respond to youremotions in a healthy way
because you have a higheremotional intelligence, and
that's something that wasn'tsuper encouraged with men or
women when they were young, butparticularly with little boys.
Yeah, it was a missed.
(19:00):
Yeah, it was gap.
Jessica Jenkins (19:01):
Yeah, I feel like a lot of Christian men just
bouncing off of what you say.
Their sex ed was from thesecular culture and so when
they're trying to live godlylives, it's mixed with the
secular culture.
Sexualization of men that youjust described, and especially
godly men, they have thatpush-pull like sex is important
(19:25):
to me and they're trying tountangle threads.
They're not always sure how todo that, so they are quiet about
it, which can then,unfortunately, I would imagine,
lead to perpetuating the cycle,because they then don't know how
to talk about it with their ownchildren and how to bring it to
(19:46):
their children and to modelhealthy male views around sex
for their families um for theirfamilies.
Kristen Miele (20:00):
Yeah, I completely agree.
Um, totally spot on.
And that's that's one of thebiggest hindrances towards
discipling your kids sexuallyessentially is because there's
no model for it.
You don't know how to do that.
At most Maybe you got a book oryou got to talk, or I mean
honestly when I ask people atconferences and parents um, at
conferences or in group settings, you know where I'm teaching or
something.
And I mean honestly when I askpeople at conferences and
(20:20):
parents at conferences or ingroup settings where I'm
teaching or something.
And I say, who in here feelslike they had great sex ed and
they really learned well, it'stypically people who grew up in
secular families.
There was no faith background,and so their mom or dad or both
were really honest about sexwith them.
They didn't care, there was noshame there.
They were maybe overly honestabout their own behaviors, but
(20:41):
that.
Or like they grew up with adoctor in the family or a nurse
who was very clear, so at leastthey got good anatomy lessons
and they learned all theappropriate names and there
wasn't shame around the body.
Um, but it's like that.
Those are like the only twooptions.
I never hear people say, oh mygosh.
I had such great success frommy family, my parents, they were
so great, they're wonderfulabout it and I grew up in a
(21:02):
Christian family.
Like that is a rarity and Ithink that's a work of spiritual
warfare and Satan.
But I also think it's becauseit perpetuates that cycle Like
you're talking about.
They just don't know how to doit in the next generation, so
they don't choose to bedisengaged with that, not to ask
their kids not to talk about itIf they do.
(21:22):
It's really awkward.
Jessica Jenkins (21:23):
Yeah, yeah, because I'm trying to think
generations here.
I know purity culture for ourgeneration was a big thing.
It kind of rose during my latehigh school.
Early college was like theheyday of purity culture and I
(21:45):
feel like some of that was myparents' generation push back on
like the sexual revolution.
They want to bring it in bounds, but they ended up creating a
pendulum to the other side oftoxicity on the other side.
And I feel like now we'retrying to be like how do we
train our kids, teach them aboutsex in age-appropriate ways
alongside and I love this withyour curriculum.
I'm so excited.
I love that you are weavingtogether sex education, the
(22:08):
information they need, with someemotional intelligence
components, with things thathelp prevent them from being
abused Like.
I love that you're weaving allof those things together because
those are what our generationneeded.
Kristen Miele (22:24):
I mean it is.
It's a response to that.
I'm glad you picked up on thatand saw that, because it's a
very full, holistic conversationaround sex and that's, I think,
what the Lord wants.
That's how he designed it.
He designed it as all partsthat go together.
All of it is meant to glorifyand reflect his goodness and sex
, doesn't the sex talk?
(22:44):
Well, first of all, I don'tbelieve in the talk.
Right, it should be a lot ofconversation, like I said
earlier, but the sex talk is notabout the mechanics of actually
having sex.
It is so much bigger than thatand just to reduce it to like,
quote unquote, the plumbing issilly.
It's so unnecessary because it'sactually a much more beautiful,
full conversation about theintegration of like self and how
we operate in the world and howwe view the opposite sex and
(23:07):
dating and healthy marriage, andhow we call out abuse and stand
up for social justice and that,and it really is a full
conversation around the topicand that's why there's so much.
I don't want parents to feeloverwhelmed Like, oh my gosh,
she has 100 lessons in here.
That's so much, right.
It's just because there's a lotthat you can discuss and talk
about and really fully put intoconversations, and I want that
(23:32):
to be available to parents, whojust need some language for it
language for it.
Jessica Jenkins (23:39):
Absolutely.
And in I'm going to bounce offof what you just said with the
hundred lessons and parentsfeeling overwhelmed, cause I
know lots of busy parents,that's can happen very easily.
Um, running kids back to sportspractices when I'm going to
have time to view a hundredlessons, are those?
And the a hundred lessons wasthe 11 to 13 program, kind of
middle school.
Yeah, 11 and up, 11 and up.
Okay, so you have a hundredlessons there.
(24:00):
Are they like sequential, likeyou need to watch them one, two,
three, four, or are they likeokay, this is the topic we
really need to hit today,because X happened at school, so
we're going to hit lesson 23.
How does that work within theprogram?
Kristen Miele (24:15):
Yeah, you're right on again it's.
You can do either, like I havea calendar with each curriculum
that tells you how thecurriculum can be viewed,
according to how I planned it,um, but you don't have to do
that.
So, let's say, your 10 year oldgoes to school, goes to school
today, and one, or I don't know,goes to a church group or
whatever sports camp andsomebody there is like I'm no
(24:36):
longer using those pronouns andthey're 10, and you're like man,
we already have to have thisconversation.
Like I don't know what to doabout that.
I don't know how to respond tothat.
Um, you can go watch the pronounvideo, like you know.
You don't have to wait untilit's scheduled.
You can go watch it, you canreview it and you get lifetime
access to curriculum, so you canwatch it as much as you want.
It can use it for your youngerkids as they grow up into that
age.
But it is very flexible for thefamily to watch what applies,
(25:04):
because things do happen, eventsdo occur.
They might hear about somethingmaybe the news and all of this
conversation about politics andwe're talking about abortion in
the news and it's like, well,let's actually watch her video
on that and see what she saysand engage on this topic and
think about how we can respondto this topic.
So you don't have to go inorder, but I do lay out an order
there if you want to kind ofhave a proper schedule
(25:26):
especially for likehomeschooling parents or
something so that they canschedule it.
Jessica Jenkins (25:30):
And that's really that's.
I love that.
It's a both and like you can doeither or both.
And you mentioned for theyoungest program that it's
something you expect kind ofparents to watch with the kids.
The older programs obviouslyparents watching with the kids
is always going to be a benefit.
It can provide conversations,but is it necessary?
Kristen Miele (25:50):
good question.
No, it's not like by the timethat they can push, play and
pause on their own.
Uh, it's not they, they, theydon't have to watch it.
I think it's unique to thefamily.
I think some kids, probablyalready by seven, eight, nine,
don't feel as comfortablewatching it with their parent.
And so maybe their parent checksin after, or they review their
workbook or they um say, hey,I've already watched those
(26:11):
videos.
And I know one of the questionsshe asked was this like, what
did you say to that?
So maybe they engage on in thatcapacity?
But other parents are like,yeah, I can totally watch my
nine-year-old like she wouldwant me to.
So it really depends.
But pretty much, after they'reable to and you trust them to
actually engage with it, theycan watch it on their own.
(26:31):
It's up to the parents.
Jessica Jenkins (26:39):
What I'm trying to figure out how to formulate
this question.
Um, I'm going to give you thebackground, then I'll figure out
how to formulate the question.
Um, I try at the beginning ofthe school year to just have
kind of a week where I spendsome extra focus, like we try to
weave sex ed conversations intolife all the time anyway.
But right before school startsmy kids go to public school.
I try to have a little bitextra education just to make
sure that they are rememberingdetails, because who knows what
(27:01):
they're going to hear at schooland I want to make sure we've
talked about it first.
But as we were doing that thisyear, I noticed one of my kids.
I was reading a book about itand the child got up and just
started, like they're stilllistening, but they were
uncomfortable and wandering theroom and, you know, just showing
various signs and even was likethat kind of makes me
(27:22):
uncomfortable and I'm like, okay, well, you need the basic
information.
But thank you for telling mehow you feel.
What sort of signs and signalswould you have parents looking
out for for the comfort levelsof their kids and how would you
recommend parents respond tothat, since this can be a very
shame filled kind of for allparties tricky topic to talk
(27:44):
about.
Kristen Miele (27:44):
Yeah that's a great question.
I love your response to yourchild that you said like you do
need this information, but Irecognize your discomfort.
I think acknowledging likenormalizing that, acknowledging
the discomfort and saying yeah,that's that's how I felt or
that's how many kids feel, orthis topic can be uncomfortable.
Could you tell me a little bitmore about why you feel
(28:04):
uncomfortable or did anythinghappen at school that made you
uncomfortable?
Um, and kind of ask them a fewquestions to see if they will
respond to that or open up aboutthat?
But I think it's okay to pause,even for a few weeks or a few
days, to pray about it, to askthe Holy Spirit for discernment
(28:25):
on where to go next.
Maybe if they are doing like inmy curriculum with the workbook
and writing their answers out,kind of reviewing those answers
with them, reviewing what theyhave learned and affirming this
is really good information, likeyou were made well, your body
is a good thing and this is soimportant for you to learn about
.
But I understand if it makes youuncomfortable, like we can
(28:46):
pause for a little bit.
I would just try to get at theparticulars.
What exactly was it?
Because sometimes there couldhave been an event or they could
be reminded of something, ormaybe they saw a scary TV show
or something that you knowpictured what I was talking
about in the video and theyaren't sure how to articulate
that to you.
So I would really engage withthe child.
But pause, there's no need towatch um in discomfort.
(29:11):
But if they do seem likethey're almost like moving
inward with their body, likethey're kind of covering their
eyes or which, there's nothingweird that they're going to see
them but, like you know, they'recrossing their arms.
They seem unengaged, they don't.
Maybe they're providing someresistance, like I don't really
want to watch those.
First of all, I think that'snormal developmentally for kids
to do, but also, um, to questiona little bit.
(29:33):
Well, can you tell me why?
Because I know when I was a kid, like I really needed to learn
this, but nobody talked to meabout it, and I just want to be
a space for you to talk aboutthis.
We can take a break for acouple months or something like
that.
Yeah, but making sure thatthere wasn't like an event.
Jessica Jenkins (29:48):
Yeah, or you know.
That's really wise, yeah yeah,wise, yeah yeah.
Because I know different kids.
Some kids are curious, somekids are not.
When I first became a mom, Iremember like follow your kids,
curiosity, only answer as muchas they're asking, and those
sorts of things.
But one of my kids never asks,doesn't want to know, doesn't?
And so I kind of have to belike all right, love, I'm gonna
(30:08):
have to give you some detailshere.
You're not curious, you're notasking, but I have to.
You're going to go to schooland you're in fourth grade and
somebody is going to saysomething and you need to hear
it from me first.
So how do you recommendnavigating kids who aren't
curious?
I feel like the curious onesare a little bit easier, but how
do you recommend navigatingkids who aren't curious?
(30:30):
Maybe not asking, or, as youmentioned, a neurodivergent
child who's a little bitdevelopmentally behind, but
maybe they're in sports orpublic school settings where
other kids who aren'tdevelopmentally behind are going
to be talking about these sortsof things.
Kristen Miele (30:44):
Yeah, absolutely.
I think if they're not curious,that could very well mean they
don't have questions about thetopic and aren't concerned.
So you might want to start atthings that they need to be
concerned about.
For example, like a 14 year oldneurodivergent boy is still
going through puberty and hisbody is still starting to smell
and he's still growing hair andmaybe he needs to consider
(31:05):
shaving or showering more.
He might still be having, youknow, like erections in the
night that he doesn't know whatthose are, and so acknowledging
that kind of element in the roomwas like hey, your body is
going through this and so I knowyou might not have questions,
you might not be curious, which,frankly, is probably not true.
He probably does have somequestions in there at some point
, right, but you might not beasking questions.
(31:26):
But I really want you to learnabout anatomically what your
body is going through and whyit's going through what it is,
and so you could start with morefactual stuff there.
You don't have to get into allthe big ideas of sexuality and
kind of the hard hitting topics.
You could just start with thebasic facts of like I want you
to make sure that you're beinghealthy and that you're being
(31:46):
safe and so we're going to watch, as it relates to my curriculum
.
Or you could say we're going totalk about these three topics
we're going to, and then that'sit and we'll stop there and you
can let me know later and aquestion might come up six weeks
later for him or her about thetopic, and then you know you can
do a little bit more, um, butif they're, if they genuinely
don't seem curious or interested, then I would at least start
(32:09):
with the facts and take kind ofa health approach to like I just
want you to be healthy and safeas you go through this, cause
you and a lot of your friendsare going to be going through
puberty and that can be hard,but everybody goes through it,
it's normal, it's necessary, um,and I want you to know why and
how to, how to deal practicallywith some of that.
Jessica Jenkins (32:26):
Yeah, I love that.
No, that's really helpful.
One thing I have heard just inmy perusings of this topic is
that it's very helpful for thekids to have the parents not
position themselves as expertsnecessarily, but to let the kids
know that they know about thetopic.
I saw something online about amom who her little boy saw porn
(32:52):
and he didn't even think to tellher because it never come up in
conversation and he didn't know.
Mommy even knew what porn was,so why would he tell her?
Because he didn't know she knewthese things existed.
How can parents?
Obviously your sex edcurriculum is a great way, but
what's other ways that they cankind of position themselves as
experts?
(33:13):
Like you can ask mommy anddaddy anything.
Ask us before Google.
Like you can ask mommy anddaddy anything ask us before
Google.
Like how can parents do that tohelp their children and open up
those lanes of conversation?
Kristen Miele (33:23):
Yes, I love this question because it's very
practical and I'm all aboutpracticality and how you
actually play out this narrativein the real world.
So one way I think that parentscan make sure that they are the
safe space and that their kidsdon't go to Google and ask their
friends stuff because theydon't think their parents know
or can answer, is to utilizedaily opportunities or weekly
(33:44):
opportunities.
So maybe, like, for example,the other day, I was at kind of
a fair, like a town fair, if youwant to call it that, and there
were gay couples walking aroundand my daughter already knows
what that is and knows thatfamilies are different and
people have different values andall of this.
But she asked me somethingabout one of the couples and I
(34:08):
answered and it sounds so simple, but so many of us grew up in
an environment where we had aquestion and we were shut down
or we were told it wasn'tappropriate or not to worry
about it or it didn't matter orlike oh, that's, that's too big
for you, that's too heavy foryou.
And to this day I mean, I sawit's kind of a gripe for me, but
(34:28):
I saw a big Christian radiostation like one of the most
popular Christian radio stations.
They posted about sex, which Ithought was kind of weird and
random.
But they posted that if yourkid asks you what is sex, you
can tell them it's too heavy forthem to carry, it's like a
heavy piece of baggage.
And so many people were like,oh my gosh, yes.
But then actually there was alot of commenters because I went
(34:51):
down that rabbit hole of like,no, that's not an appropriate
answer.
Your kid is asking you what itis.
You need to have some sort ofanswer for them.
And anyway and it was funnybecause the radio station was
using a real life example fromCorrie ten Boom, which is a long
time ago so I was just like,hey, maybe that was appropriate.
Then it no longer is.
(35:11):
We have devices and sex iseverywhere.
So, anyway, um, some advicedoes not age.
Yeah, yeah, it seems nice,though Right, like, oh, this is
too heavy for you, you can'tcarry it.
It's like, yeah, that's nicefor the parent, cause they don't
have to engage in anythinguncomfortable and they can just
move on, but it does nothing forthe kid.
Jessica Jenkins (35:28):
Who's honestly curious?
Kristen Miele (35:30):
Yeah, you want to show your kid you are the safe
space by answering questions, bybeing present, by even
utilizing these dailyopportunities of like hey, mom,
I noticed.
I mean your kid is not going tosay it this maturely but
essentially.
I noticed on the news thatthey're talking about abortion,
Like why do we believe what webelieve again?
And you bring that up or yousay, hey, what do you know about
(35:50):
this?
Or what do your friends thinkabout this topic?
Or what are your friends sayingabout this topic?
Or maybe you're watching a TVprogram together and a couple is
not treating each other welland there's red flags about a
guy or a girl who's dating.
You can say, do you know whatred flags are in a relationship?
Like would you put up with theway that he's treating her?
What would you do if aboyfriend did that?
(36:11):
How would you respond?
Really, asking them and even ifthey're like I don't know, you
know, I'm not sure, like it'snot going to happen to me, it
gets them thinking and realizingthat you are a safe space and
that, what if this did happen?
How would I respond?
Because things happen toChristians too.
Jessica Jenkins (36:26):
Yeah.
Kristen Miele (36:27):
All the time.
We enter into bad relationships.
We get manipulated Um, we mightsext and then experience
ramifications from that.
We get into porn, we deal withabuse, we're victims Like all of
these things can happen to us.
You know, christians getabortions.
So we need to talk to ourChristian children who are going
(36:47):
to grow up to be Christianadults, ideally still love the
Lord about these situations.
Why do they happen?
What are the outcomes?
How can we respond in a lovingmatter manner to those who
experienced them?
And that's really justutilizing daily opportunities to
ask them what they think andwhy they think about that.
And that shows that you do careand they're more likely to come
(37:09):
to you when they see porn at asleepover or something, because
you've already provided thatspace for them porn at a
sleepover or something, becauseyou've already provided that
space for them.
Jessica Jenkins (37:22):
Yes, I love that.
That's so practical andhands-on.
Our time is almost up.
I've been loving thisconversation.
Is there any final thoughts oreducation you want to share with
our audience about sexeducation and what you do?
Kristen Miele (37:33):
Sure, I think my final thought for parents who
are listening is that you can dothis.
It is doable.
You don't need to make it intosome big talk.
This sit down thing where youpass your kid a book and you ask
them if they have any questionsand you move on Like this, is
not your parents or the babyboomers generation any longer.
Many of us did go through purityculture.
(37:53):
We did experience legalism orwe experienced what the world
thought of sex and sexuality andit wasn't super helpful and we
learned from Google.
And first I think you need toreckon with that.
You need to think about yourown sex ed whether you're a dad
or a mom and consider how thatimpacted you.
Pray about that Journal, aboutthat.
(38:13):
Maybe there's something youhaven't dealt with from your
past.
Maybe you even need to seek outa little bit of counseling to
really consider Go through thatkind of thing first, if you can
your own viewpoints on it all.
I mean I have couples reach outand I should say I have women
reach out more commonly who saymy husband does not want to talk
(38:34):
about this, so I'm going to endup doing it all.
So like, can you, you know,what would you recommend?
And it's like man that kind ofbreaks my heart a little bit
because there's probably areason he won't and he needs to
like for his own life and hisown joy and his own relationship
with the Lord and his wife,like he needs to dig into that,
even though it can suck.
So I would encourage parents todig into their own worldviews
(38:55):
and experience of sex at first,or in lack thereof, and then
know that you're still qualified.
You can still do this, it isdoable.
The reason I provideconversations for kids to watch
and listen to is because I wantto give parents the language by
actually just doing it like forthem.
(39:15):
But that's not where it ends.
You are then meant to engageand have organic conversation
from there, and you will Iguarantee that you will when
this is a topic that's exploredin your house.
So it's doable, but it's reallygood for us to be looking
inward and thinking about how amI impacted by my youth and what
my parents did or didn't teachme, or school did or didn't
(39:36):
teach me church, et cetera andwhat do I want to pass on to my
kids.
Jessica Jenkins (39:41):
What don't I yeah?
Kristen Miele (39:42):
Yeah.
Jessica Jenkins (39:43):
That is such great advice and I love how you
really brought out theintrospection us as parents need
to do.
I know, especially for usadults, parents who have sexual
abuse, sexual assault in ourbackground, that can make it
extra difficult to engage thesetopics with our kids, because
(40:04):
PTSD, all of anxiety, bodyreactions to even talking about
sexual things, to a sexual abusesurvivor can be exceptionally
triggering, and so I appreciatethat you have curriculum like
this that can also provide abuffer for those parents.
They need to do their owninternal work counseling, all of
(40:26):
the things but their kidsaren't necessarily going to stop
growing up until the parentshave done all the internal work,
and so your curriculum providesthat buffer where they can
still have conversations, makesure their kids are getting the
information they need in a safeway, but they don't have to
drive every conversation fully.
(40:47):
They can kind of bounce off ofwhat you teach, and I love that
you provide that resource forpeople who just don't know
themselves, people who aren'tsure how to handle tricky
situations, victims of abuse,where it can be literally
triggering, all of those things.
I love what you're doing.
I am so thankful for it.
Thank you for joining me todayand I cannot wait for our
(41:11):
listeners to get your curriculumin their hands Again.
She has a 15% off coupon.
The code is Christian Parenting.
You can get that on her website, which I will link her website,
her Instagram, the coupon code,all of the goodies will be in
the description of this episode.
Thank you so much, christian.
(41:32):
It has been a pleasure to haveyou.
Kristen Miele (41:34):
Oh, thank you.
I so appreciate you reachingout and I'm glad we could
connect.
This was really fun andencouraging, Awesome.
Jessica Jenkins (41:43):
Well, may the Lord bless you all and keep you.
May his face shine upon you andgive you peace.
Have a great day Until nexttime.
We will see you then.
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