October 29, 2025 • 10 mins
In this episode I share three practical questions that can reshape retirement:
- Who you’ll have lunch with,
- Who will handle home tasks, and
- How you’ll get an ice cream cone?
The focus shifts from bucket lists to daily life, social health, safety, and mobility, with steps you can act on now.
• Why day-to-day design beats bucket lists
• Planning social routines to avoid loneliness
• Right-sizing the home and safety upgrades
• Protecting mobility and spontaneity with transport options
• Blending tech tools with community and family help
• Budgeting for services that sustain independence
• Key stats from MIT AgeLab and practical examples
More on the study and MIT AgeLab
🗓️ Meet with me: https://paradigmwealthpartners.com/begin-your-journey/#calendly
↔️ Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jbednarii/
🌐 Paradigm Wealth Partners (website) – Financial planning for career professionals who want to retire and stay retired: https://paradigmwealthpartners.com/
🌐 What the Wealth (website) – Adding clarity to difficult financial topics: https://whatthewealth.com/
▶️ YouTube: Paradigm Wealth Partners
If you or someone you care about could use the help of a financial advisor and sees the value in establishing a financial plan, please reach out to me.
Thanks for Listening!
Jonathan
Listen
Watch
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Three quirky retirement questions everybody
should be asking.
Welcome back to the What theWealth Retirement Podcast.
I'm Jonathan Bedner, certifiedfinancial planner.
Today we're going to talk aboutthese three questions that will
help you think about retirement,what retirement looks like for
you.
And I think a lot of timespeople don't think as much about
(00:25):
these details as they should.
So let's dive right in it.
I came across these by lookingat an article on TIAA.org's
website.
So we're going to talk aboutthese three questions.
The first question is, who willyou have lunch with?
The second question is, who isgoing to change your light
(00:47):
bulbs?
And the third question is, howare you going to get an ice
cream cone?
Not your typical questionsyou're thinking about when you
think about retirement, butvery, very important as we go
through and talk about these.
These are questions that werethought of by Joseph Coughlin,
who is a leading expert on agingand the director of the MIT Age
(01:11):
Lab.
And so someone who's thinkingabout this quite a bit at MIT,
and how do people age?
What are their habits?
What are what happens?
And so I think these are reallyimportant.
You know, when we're talkingwith retirees or soon-to-be
retirees about retirement, a lotof times what they're thinking
about is the big dreams, the thebig vacation, the big party for
(01:34):
when they retire, the 40-yearanniversary trip, the big bucket
list items.
I think a lot of times they losesight of.
In fact, I know they lose sightof because I've done this for 16
years.
I've had these conversations.
And rarely do people talk aboutwhat day-to-day is going to look
like.
(01:54):
And so I think these are greatthought-provoking questions for
you to think about as you enterthe next phase of life if you're
a retiree.
If you're not, if you're someoneyounger, maybe you listen to
this and you think about that.
Asking your parents thesequestions, you know, have some
thought-provoking conversationsfor them.
(02:15):
Number one, call them and checkin.
Number two, have somethought-provoking questions so
that you know together you allcan be thinking about how
they're going to spend theirtime.
I'm not trying to diminish thebucket list strategies, the big
goals, the ambitions, the drive,the travel.
All of those things are very,very important.
But it's not something you'regoing to spend most of your time
(02:36):
doing.
You're going to do a trip or twoa year.
As you get older, that's goingto even scale back even less.
So while I want you to do thosethings, let's start tackling
these questions as well.
So the first question is whowill you have lunch with?
A big part of our everyday lifein corporate America and our
(02:57):
business is with our coworkers,with our bosses, with employees,
with customers.
And so a lot of times we spendmore time socializing with those
people than we do our uh our ownfamily.
And so, you know, the thequestion here is about, you
know, when that chapter closesand you're left with all of this
(03:21):
time, you know, 40 hours a week,you know, their normal work
schedule, eight to five or nineto five, or whatever that is,
you know, you got you have tofill that now.
How are you going to fill that?
And so it is important that youthink about intentionally what
you're going to do to fill thegap of time.
So they go on to say that one inthree adults aged 50 to 80 is
(03:45):
feeling lonely or isolated.
That's a big number.
And uh, I think that lines upwith another stat I saw one time
that says, you know, 90% of thetime we spend with our kids is
from zero to 18 years old.
And after that, it's, you know,the other 10% is from, you know,
18 to, you know, unfortunately,whenever one of us passes,
(04:07):
that's a sad thought.
Um, and so, you know, if you'refeeling lonely, you're feeling
isolated, or you're worriedabout your parents feeling
lonely or isolated.
I think one of the things thatyou could do is really put some
time and effort intobrainstorming how you're gonna
spend your time.
Who are you gonna reach back outwith?
Which which relationships areyou gonna rekindle?
Uh, there's a lot of time tospend to fill.
(04:30):
Are you gonna learn to playguitar with a group of people
that you know are like you andnever knew how to play guitar?
Are you gonna take cookingclasses?
You know, are you gonnavolunteer at church or some
other charitable cause?
Simply, are you gonna reconnectwith old people and go to
breakfast, go to lunch?
You know, where are you gonnaspend your time?
I think if you keep your mindsharp, you stay active, you have
(04:50):
something to look forward to,retirement can be a wonderful
thing.
And so that that kind of firstquestion should be solving for
what do you really do with yourtime or who we have lunch with?
It's a great question.
All right, so let's go into thesecond question.
Who's gonna change your lightbulbs?
You know, you're you're probablythinking, well, I'm gonna do it.
Of course you are, and of courseI am.
(05:12):
The reality is at some point wedon't have the same capability.
You know, we fall easier, youknow, we're not as sturdy as we
once were climbing the ladder,you know, our kids are screaming
at us to to to you know getdown, but you don't need to be
cleaning the gutters.
Care and maintenance is is animportant part of your of your
lifestyle, whether it's yourcar, your home, your yard, your
(05:34):
health, something.
And there's gonna be times whenit's difficult to do some of the
mundane tasks that we think wecan do, should do, know how to
do, have no problem doing.
And reality is as we get older,it's harder to do those things.
It's harder to walk, it's youknow, we fall down easier.
And so you need to be thinkingabout who's going to help with
(05:56):
those tasks.
Is it a neighbor?
Is it uh you're gonna move to acommunity that has maybe some of
that support built in, maybe a55 plus community?
Do you have a family memberclose?
Is there someone at your churchthat has or the church program
have an outreach program to helpwith some of these things?
(06:16):
Really, really important to bethinking through.
You don't want crisis to hit andyou don't have a plan.
You know, just jot a few namesdown in your notebook so you
have them and have thatconversation with them in
advance.
You know, if something happensto me, if I fall, if I call you,
you know, can you come check onme?
Or can I count on you if I needto change my light bulb or air
van or mow my yard?
(06:36):
Can you do that?
I'm happy to pay you, but butthink proactively about that.
The next question is how are yougonna go get ice cream?
Again, really thought-provokingquestion.
And it again addresses mobility.
Uh the older we get, the harderit is to go.
We're used to independentfreedom, time freedom, going and
doing the things we want to dowhen we want to do it.
(06:58):
As simple as going to DairyQueen to get a banana split.
You know, it is something we'renot used to having taken away.
Over time, it, you know, thatmobility creeps up on us.
We kind of just, yeah, it's it'salmost like uh watching a pot
boil.
I think the saying is a youknow, a watch pot never boils.
And I think that's a little bithow aging is.
(07:20):
Like you don't realize it at alluntil suddenly.
And then before you know it, youdon't get around as easy, you
know, you you need you're not asstable, you feel yourself
reaching out to grab things, youneed a walker, you need a cane,
uh, you fall easy, but you stillgot the urge to get the banana
split.
And so how do you how do you go,how do you get that?
(07:41):
How do you still enjoy thefreedoms that and the things
that you love, but don't findyourself in a position that you
know you're stuck and you can'tenjoy those things.
But maybe it's moving into alittle bit closer town.
They go on to say uh Coughlingoes and says 70% of Americans,
older Americans, live insuburban or rural areas.
(08:03):
So you know it takes commitment,thought, thought out
decision-making process to goget the groceries, to go to
Walmart, to get the medicine, toto get the ice cream cone to do
those things.
And so, you know, you you wantto make sure that you've thought
this out well in advance.
Maybe that means moving closerin.
Maybe it means, you know,finding a driver.
(08:24):
Maybe it means, you know, havingsomeone from church take you to
run these airings.
Maybe it means learning Uber soyou're not constrained to your
own house and and you maybe ifyou can't drive, you know,
learning Uber gives you thefreedom to go anywhere at a
couple pushes of a button.
That technology was never around15 years ago.
We didn't even think it waspossible.
(08:45):
And we thought you had to call,call a taxi.
I mean, that sounds miserable.
With Uber, you can push a fewbuttons and you'll go right to
McDonald's or right to DairyQueen.
You can get Instacart, groceriesdelivered right to your house.
So there's a lot of amazingthings that help aging more
efficient than it used to be,but you still need to be
prepared for how do you adapt,how do you take advantage of the
(09:09):
circumstance circumstances andbenefit from those.
So those are again the threequestions that I think are
really, really important foryou, for your loved ones to be
thinking about as you move intoretirement or as they move into
retirement.
I think this is a fantasticarticle.
I'll link to it in the shownotes so you see it.
But just something that Ichallenge you to think through
(09:29):
as you're moving intoretirement.
So, again, the three quirkyretirement questions everyone
should be thinking about.
If you haven't already liked andsubscribed to this podcast or
this YouTube channel, please doso now.
Be confident in your retirement,have a wonderful day.
Thanks for joining me on anotherepisode of What the Wealth.
If you enjoyed the episodetoday, smash that subscribe
(09:50):
button.
It helps me more than you think.
Also, if you found this episodeinsightful and a light bulb went
off, share it.
Your friend, Aunt Judy, therandom guy in the office who's
always talking about investment.
Wealth isn't about just the chipchange.
It's about our choices, chances,and changing our financial
features.
The information in this podcastis informational and general in
(10:12):
nature and does not take intoconsideration the listener's
personal circumstances.
This podcast is not intended tobe a substitute for specific in
financial, legal, or tax advice.
You should consult the approvedqualified professional prior to
making a final decision.
Security is offered through LPLFinancial, member FINRA SIPC.
Paradigm Wealth Partners is theother business name for
(10:32):
Independent Advisor Alliance.
Investment advice offeredthrough Independent Advisor
Alliance, a registeredinvestment advisor, Independent
Advisor Alliance, and ParadigmWealth Partners are separate
entities for LPL Financial.
Three quirky retirement questions everybody
should be asking.
Welcome back to the What theWealth Retirement Podcast.
I'm Jonathan Bedner, certifiedfinancial planner.
Today we're going to talk aboutthese three questions that will
help you think about retirement,what retirement looks like for
you.
And I think a lot of timespeople don't think as much about
(00:25):
these details as they should.
So let's dive right in it.
I came across these by lookingat an article on TIAA.org's
website.
So we're going to talk aboutthese three questions.
The first question is, who willyou have lunch with?
The second question is, who isgoing to change your light
(00:47):
bulbs?
And the third question is, howare you going to get an ice
cream cone?
Not your typical questionsyou're thinking about when you
think about retirement, butvery, very important as we go
through and talk about these.
These are questions that werethought of by Joseph Coughlin,
who is a leading expert on agingand the director of the MIT Age
(01:11):
Lab.
And so someone who's thinkingabout this quite a bit at MIT,
and how do people age?
What are their habits?
What are what happens?
And so I think these are reallyimportant.
You know, when we're talkingwith retirees or soon-to-be
retirees about retirement, a lotof times what they're thinking
about is the big dreams, the thebig vacation, the big party for
(01:34):
when they retire, the 40-yearanniversary trip, the big bucket
list items.
I think a lot of times they losesight of.
In fact, I know they lose sightof because I've done this for 16
years.
I've had these conversations.
And rarely do people talk aboutwhat day-to-day is going to look
like.
(01:54):
And so I think these are greatthought-provoking questions for
you to think about as you enterthe next phase of life if you're
a retiree.
If you're not, if you're someoneyounger, maybe you listen to
this and you think about that.
Asking your parents thesequestions, you know, have some
thought-provoking conversationsfor them.
(02:15):
Number one, call them and checkin.
Number two, have somethought-provoking questions so
that you know together you allcan be thinking about how
they're going to spend theirtime.
I'm not trying to diminish thebucket list strategies, the big
goals, the ambitions, the drive,the travel.
All of those things are very,very important.
But it's not something you'regoing to spend most of your time
(02:36):
doing.
You're going to do a trip or twoa year.
As you get older, that's goingto even scale back even less.
So while I want you to do thosethings, let's start tackling
these questions as well.
So the first question is whowill you have lunch with?
A big part of our everyday lifein corporate America and our
(02:57):
business is with our coworkers,with our bosses, with employees,
with customers.
And so a lot of times we spendmore time socializing with those
people than we do our uh our ownfamily.
And so, you know, the thequestion here is about, you
know, when that chapter closesand you're left with all of this
(03:21):
time, you know, 40 hours a week,you know, their normal work
schedule, eight to five or nineto five, or whatever that is,
you know, you got you have tofill that now.
How are you going to fill that?
And so it is important that youthink about intentionally what
you're going to do to fill thegap of time.
So they go on to say that one inthree adults aged 50 to 80 is
(03:45):
feeling lonely or isolated.
That's a big number.
And uh, I think that lines upwith another stat I saw one time
that says, you know, 90% of thetime we spend with our kids is
from zero to 18 years old.
And after that, it's, you know,the other 10% is from, you know,
18 to, you know, unfortunately,whenever one of us passes,
(04:07):
that's a sad thought.
Um, and so, you know, if you'refeeling lonely, you're feeling
isolated, or you're worriedabout your parents feeling
lonely or isolated.
I think one of the things thatyou could do is really put some
time and effort intobrainstorming how you're gonna
spend your time.
Who are you gonna reach back outwith?
Which which relationships areyou gonna rekindle?
Uh, there's a lot of time tospend to fill.
(04:30):
Are you gonna learn to playguitar with a group of people
that you know are like you andnever knew how to play guitar?
Are you gonna take cookingclasses?
You know, are you gonnavolunteer at church or some
other charitable cause?
Simply, are you gonna reconnectwith old people and go to
breakfast, go to lunch?
You know, where are you gonnaspend your time?
I think if you keep your mindsharp, you stay active, you have
(04:50):
something to look forward to,retirement can be a wonderful
thing.
And so that that kind of firstquestion should be solving for
what do you really do with yourtime or who we have lunch with?
It's a great question.
All right, so let's go into thesecond question.
Who's gonna change your lightbulbs?
You know, you're you're probablythinking, well, I'm gonna do it.
Of course you are, and of courseI am.
(05:12):
The reality is at some point wedon't have the same capability.
You know, we fall easier, youknow, we're not as sturdy as we
once were climbing the ladder,you know, our kids are screaming
at us to to to you know getdown, but you don't need to be
cleaning the gutters.
Care and maintenance is is animportant part of your of your
lifestyle, whether it's yourcar, your home, your yard, your
(05:34):
health, something.
And there's gonna be times whenit's difficult to do some of the
mundane tasks that we think wecan do, should do, know how to
do, have no problem doing.
And reality is as we get older,it's harder to do those things.
It's harder to walk, it's youknow, we fall down easier.
And so you need to be thinkingabout who's going to help with
(05:56):
those tasks.
Is it a neighbor?
Is it uh you're gonna move to acommunity that has maybe some of
that support built in, maybe a55 plus community?
Do you have a family memberclose?
Is there someone at your churchthat has or the church program
have an outreach program to helpwith some of these things?
(06:16):
Really, really important to bethinking through.
You don't want crisis to hit andyou don't have a plan.
You know, just jot a few namesdown in your notebook so you
have them and have thatconversation with them in
advance.
You know, if something happensto me, if I fall, if I call you,
you know, can you come check onme?
Or can I count on you if I needto change my light bulb or air
van or mow my yard?
(06:36):
Can you do that?
I'm happy to pay you, but butthink proactively about that.
The next question is how are yougonna go get ice cream?
Again, really thought-provokingquestion.
And it again addresses mobility.
Uh the older we get, the harderit is to go.
We're used to independentfreedom, time freedom, going and
doing the things we want to dowhen we want to do it.
(06:58):
As simple as going to DairyQueen to get a banana split.
You know, it is something we'renot used to having taken away.
Over time, it, you know, thatmobility creeps up on us.
We kind of just, yeah, it's it'salmost like uh watching a pot
boil.
I think the saying is a youknow, a watch pot never boils.
And I think that's a little bithow aging is.
(07:20):
Like you don't realize it at alluntil suddenly.
And then before you know it, youdon't get around as easy, you
know, you you need you're not asstable, you feel yourself
reaching out to grab things, youneed a walker, you need a cane,
uh, you fall easy, but you stillgot the urge to get the banana
split.
And so how do you how do you go,how do you get that?
(07:41):
How do you still enjoy thefreedoms that and the things
that you love, but don't findyourself in a position that you
know you're stuck and you can'tenjoy those things.
But maybe it's moving into alittle bit closer town.
They go on to say uh Coughlingoes and says 70% of Americans,
older Americans, live insuburban or rural areas.
(08:03):
So you know it takes commitment,thought, thought out
decision-making process to goget the groceries, to go to
Walmart, to get the medicine, toto get the ice cream cone to do
those things.
And so, you know, you you wantto make sure that you've thought
this out well in advance.
Maybe that means moving closerin.
Maybe it means, you know,finding a driver.
(08:24):
Maybe it means, you know, havingsomeone from church take you to
run these airings.
Maybe it means learning Uber soyou're not constrained to your
own house and and you maybe ifyou can't drive, you know,
learning Uber gives you thefreedom to go anywhere at a
couple pushes of a button.
That technology was never around15 years ago.
We didn't even think it waspossible.
(08:45):
And we thought you had to call,call a taxi.
I mean, that sounds miserable.
With Uber, you can push a fewbuttons and you'll go right to
McDonald's or right to DairyQueen.
You can get Instacart, groceriesdelivered right to your house.
So there's a lot of amazingthings that help aging more
efficient than it used to be,but you still need to be
prepared for how do you adapt,how do you take advantage of the
(09:09):
circumstance circumstances andbenefit from those.
So those are again the threequestions that I think are
really, really important foryou, for your loved ones to be
thinking about as you move intoretirement or as they move into
retirement.
I think this is a fantasticarticle.
I'll link to it in the shownotes so you see it.
But just something that Ichallenge you to think through
(09:29):
as you're moving intoretirement.
So, again, the three quirkyretirement questions everyone
should be thinking about.
If you haven't already liked andsubscribed to this podcast or
this YouTube channel, please doso now.
Be confident in your retirement,have a wonderful day.
Thanks for joining me on anotherepisode of What the Wealth.
If you enjoyed the episodetoday, smash that subscribe
(09:50):
button.
It helps me more than you think.
Also, if you found this episodeinsightful and a light bulb went
off, share it.
Your friend, Aunt Judy, therandom guy in the office who's
always talking about investment.
Wealth isn't about just the chipchange.
It's about our choices, chances,and changing our financial
features.
The information in this podcastis informational and general in
(10:12):
nature and does not take intoconsideration the listener's
personal circumstances.
This podcast is not intended tobe a substitute for specific in
financial, legal, or tax advice.
You should consult the approvedqualified professional prior to
making a final decision.
Security is offered through LPLFinancial, member FINRA SIPC.
Paradigm Wealth Partners is theother business name for
(10:32):
Independent Advisor Alliance.
Investment advice offeredthrough Independent Advisor
Alliance, a registeredinvestment advisor, Independent
Advisor Alliance, and ParadigmWealth Partners are separate
entities for LPL Financial.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Bobby Bones Show
Listen to 'The Bobby Bones Show' by downloading the daily full replay.