July 14, 2025 • 36 mins
Your words don't just reflect your reality—they create it. A lesson I learned early in my career taught me that saying "I'll try" invites uncertainty, while commitment begins with decisive language. The words we use—especially those that signal doubt or limitation—shape how we think, act, and pursue goals. As we hit the year’s midpoint, focus on upgrading your language and watch how it improves your state of being plus welcomes in new opportunities.
3 Key Takeaways:
- Eliminate uncertain language like “try,” “hope,” and “maybe”—they weaken commitment and action.
- Watch for self-limiting phrases and negative preambles that reinforce doubt or fear.
- Rewire your mindset by intentionally choosing words that reflect confidence, clarity, and possibility.
Thank you for tuning in! If you feel led, please subscribe & share the show to others who you believe would benefit from it.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Do hard things.
Help one person, be good and dogood, live a life of discipline
, and you will always win.
You have all the tools that youneed to succeed.
Welcome to win today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
My name is Ryan Cass and I amyour host.
(00:21):
My purpose in this world is tohelp push people further and
harder than they believepossible and become unshakable
in what matters most to them intheir lives.
Every week, you're going tolearn from either myself or a
renowned expert in their field,and we're going to unveil pieces
of our playbook to help you wintoday.
Please, if you love this show,subscribe and share it with
(00:42):
somebody that will benefit fromit.
Let's dig in.
Imagine that this is a jobinterview and, as I say, that
every day in life truly is aninterview for something, though
it may not be an actual formalinterview that you're sitting in
, we theoretically interview forwho's going to be our next set
(01:10):
of friends or who is a personthat may welcome you into their
life simply as a result of yourway of being and the habits that
you possess, the language thatyou choose, the behaviors that
(01:32):
you model.
We're halfway into the year andone of my favorite things to
talk about is the importance ofpowerful language, because this
is something the words that wechoose as minor as it may seem
at times, the words that wechoose, the words that we speak
(01:54):
both outward and even what weallow inward, can make or break
an opportunity.
Can make or break anopportunity a group of people
welcoming you, in a person,welcoming you into their life,
(02:15):
whether it's a new friend or apotential romantic partner.
Everything in life is createdthrough language, and I can't
stress this enough that it is soimportant that I focus on this
every year and dedicate at leastone to two episodes on the
(02:36):
podcast around powerful languageand new things that I'm
continuing to learn about, howto, and new things that I'm
continuing to learn about how tooptimize our language, how to
stop saying the things thateverybody not everybody, but a
lot of people say as commonplace, not recognizing that these are
(02:59):
things that can be holding youback or preventing you from a
future opportunity.
This one has very deep meaningto me as it goes back to a story
, a situation in 2012, now 13years back, but this is how much
(03:21):
this means to me.
The first manager that I everworked for in the corporate
world was Chris Van Aresdale atOtis Elevator Company, and Otis
is a globally recognizedelevator manufacturer and
service company.
You've definitely been on anOtis elevator.
(03:43):
If you have been in amulti-story building, whether
it's two floors, a skyscraperyou've been in one.
I was interning for Otis fortwo summers.
This was in between mysophomore and junior year and I
will never forget my first dayand I wish I would have known
(04:03):
exactly what day it was, but itwas around that June July
timeframe.
So right about now, 13 years ago, chris took me out for lunch to
East Bay Deli and we sat down.
He shared his leadershipphilosophy with me, which really
inspired me that there arepeople in this world that care
(04:26):
so much about serving othersthat they've developed
principles in which they allowothers to hold them to and hold
them accountable to.
Rather, chris shared hisleadership beliefs and what I
can expect from him as a leaderbeliefs and what I can expect
(04:47):
from him as a leader and thenalso gave me permission to call
him out if he ever did anythingthat was out of alignment with
that philosophy.
I remember making a leadershipphilosophy that year, going into
that sophomore school year andgetting made fun of for sharing
it with people thinking that,why do you have a leadership
(05:07):
philosophy when you're 20 yearsold?
But that is something that Istill carry to this day and what
was used to develop a powerfulleadership philosophy Powerful
language.
Every day rather, every newperson that works directly for
me on my leadership team, all ofmy managers and anybody that
(05:31):
reports directly to me in aleadership capacity the first
thing they get on their firstday is my leadership philosophy,
and I give them that sameinvitation that Chris gave me 13
years ago, the second thingthat we do and the second thing
that Chris did.
That day after we got back fromlunch, he shared the vision and
(05:51):
goals for Otis and what the teamin South Carolina is working
for that year.
Then he asked me a questionRyan, what do you want to
accomplish this summer?
What do you intend toaccomplish this summer After?
Do you intend to accomplishthis summer After?
He gave me an overview of whatI was likely going to be doing.
I said, chris, well, I'm goingto try.
(06:12):
I couldn't even finish mysentence.
He stops me in my tracks and heputs a pen across the table.
He said, ryan, try to grab thatpen right across the table.
So what do I do?
I reach my arm across, I grabthe pen.
I hold it up in the air,thinking this is a trivial task.
What am I supposed to do now?
(06:33):
That was easy, and he said yousee what you just did there.
You didn't try to grab the pen,you took action, you made
something happen and you grabbedthe pen.
It wasn't optional, and whenyou're working with me this
summer, moving forward on yourgoals is not going to be
(06:57):
optional.
You are either going to succeedor you are not, and if you
don't, I'm going to help you getthere and understand why you
might not be.
And if you don't, I'm going tohelp you get there and
understand why you might not beable to meet the mark.
But you cannot use the word try, because try is optional.
One thing that is now a part ofmy mastermind group, the
(07:19):
Unshakable Discipline Mastermindcommunity, is anybody that uses
the word try on a weekly callon Tuesdays has a 10 burpee
penalty.
That actually was inspired byanother mastermind group that I
was a part of, called the HappyHustle Club, led by Kerry Jack,
(07:39):
and he invited me onto one ofhis meetings after I had him on
my podcast and I was blown awayby two things.
One, if anybody showed up lateto the meeting, then Carrie
picked a song and the person hadto sing it on the Zoom meeting
for 30 seconds, and there's alot of people on these calls.
(08:02):
The second, and there's a lotof people on these calls.
The second thing is if anybodyever used the word try or hope
or any sort of self-limitinglanguage or negative preambles,
that also resulted in a penaltyof 15 pushups.
And I believe there was oneother thing.
So I thought man, theunshakable community, this is
(08:26):
perfect.
10 burpees anytime someone usesthe word try or hope.
Or I think I'm going to, ormaybe I will do this because
these things, while it seemstrivial, while it seems trivial
(08:48):
downloads a program in our mindthat the very things that we
want the most in life and desirethe most are optional when we
put it into our mind.
I'm going to try to work outtomorrow morning the program
that just got downloaded is.
Maybe I'll work out if I'mfeeling good and if the alarm
goes off, maybe not Versus, I amgoing to work out in the
(09:12):
morning.
Now we've programmed ordownloaded a program into our
subconscious, into our malleablebrain, that this is not
optional.
We are doing this thingtomorrow, and that is that.
Now can things still get in theway, of course, but that
(09:35):
program is set, that we aredoing something, versus try mean
the program is set that wemight do something.
One simple word can change thecourse of action or change the
course of your life major andminor outcomes of things, job
(10:00):
opportunities, people that aregoing to welcome you into their
life, and so many more things.
I'm currently interviewingpeople right now for positions
that are going to be reportingdirectly to me, and that's one
of the things that I'm lookingfor, or that I'm listening for
very intently who is usingpowerful language and who is
(10:24):
using limiting language, becausethe people that are using
powerful language, meaning I'lllikely ask questions about what
do their next five years looklike?
I'm looking for the person thatis going to tell me that, that
Ryan, the, in the next fiveyears, I am going to dot, dot,
(10:46):
dot, and they've thought throughwhat they want, they know what
they want or they at least havesome sort of direction, and
here's how I'm going to do it.
That person, whether theyactually do that or not,
automatically has bonus pointsin my book, because, as I'm
hearing them say that what I'mhearing is that they have a
(11:08):
program in their mind, thattheir plan, their future, is not
optional.
And there will be other peoplethat give answers, such as Ryan,
well, I'm going to try, dot,dot, dot, dot.
Now what I'm hearing is, ifyou're working for me and on
this team, which has highstandards, and on this team,
(11:36):
which has high standards, thethings that we're going after
mentally might be optional toyou and that's not okay.
Therefore, you are likely notgoing to get this opportunity.
One word, one word, and you maythink, ryan, that's a little
harsh and go back to your normallife.
Imagine, for those of you thathave kids or have partners or
(12:02):
have something that you reallydeeply care about.
Think about this for a second.
Are the expectations that youhave about how you want someone
to treat you?
Are those optional?
Are you going to appreciate ifsomeone says, well, I'm going to
try to be nice and respectfulto you tomorrow.
(12:25):
How's that going to sit withyou?
My favorite one when I'mspeaking to my teams and I I
kindly interject when I hear theword try Now, most people I'd
say everybody in my organizationknows now, and people that that
spend time with me know thatword is banned.
(12:46):
We don't do burpees in thecorporate world, but if we could
, we would.
That would be a good thing forthe corporate world as well.
But I ask them, as many of themhave families, I say what would
you say if your son or daughtertold you that they were going
to try to clean their room?
(13:07):
Your response would be no, son,daughter, you're going to clean
your damn room, because that'sthe standard that we uphold in
this household.
I can only imagine what itwould have been like telling my
five foot two Colombianfirecracker mom that I'm going
to try to be respectful and tryto empty the trash can.
(13:34):
Now, I wasn't always successfulat that growing up the emptying
the trash can part, therespectful part.
If that part didn't happen,then my tail would be red and my
head would be on a swivel.
But this is to bring light tothe fact that one word can
change the course.
One phrase can change thecourse, can create or have you
(14:00):
be passed on from an opportunitythat you desire.
So there's three things thatI'm going to bring up here for
you to be aware of, as you maynot even recognize how often
you're doing or saying thesethings.
I believe we've used aconsiderable amount of time now
(14:21):
in that try is a word thatshould be eliminated from your
vocabulary, because if I askedyou, is your dream life optional
?
You would say no, it's notoptional.
Why would it be optional?
So are you going to try tocreate it, or are you going to
create it, or are you going todo your best to create it?
(14:43):
Are you going to work to createit?
Not try, do, try, do, try, do.
Catch yourself this week,especially if you're a culprit
of this how many times are youusing the word try and give
yourself some sort of penaltyfor it and tell somebody to hold
you accountable too?
(15:04):
I remember that, after Chris hadthat conversation with me, that
I wrote down how many times Iwould use the word try on a
given day, and I had a littletally sheet and I was working to
get it to zero, and I rememberthat I would often slow down my
speech, slow down breathe.
(15:26):
It's actually okay to thinkbefore you speak, and it doesn't
.
The silence isn't as awkward asyou believe it is or as you
create in your mind that, oh myGod, this person's going to
think I'm an idiot because I'mpausing.
I just paused here as I'mlooking at myself on video and
(15:48):
now have trained myself to knowthat, hey, this isn't awkward,
this is normal.
The audio version of this.
You're not even going to tellthat.
I just took a nice little pauseto regroup, slow down, catch
yourself.
Maybe the word try?
Every time you do it is 10burpees.
And guess what?
Let's say you use it 10 times.
(16:09):
Today or tomorrow You're goingto do 100 burpees, you're going
to get in better shape whiledoing it and you're going to do
less and less burpees.
Eventually.
Hopefully right, not evenhopefully.
That's another one we'regetting rid of.
So three things One is negativepreambles.
The second is negativeself-talk and then self-limiting
(16:30):
beliefs.
So I'm going to go through afew that I hear very commonly
and provide a reframe and thecall to action with each of
these.
If you hear something that youare culprit of or that you use a
lot and maybe you don'trecognize what it really could
mean, then I invite you tochallenge yourself and let me
(16:53):
know if anything really stoodout to you.
So, negative preamble what isthat?
Here's an example of a negativepreamble.
Oh man, this might be a stupidquestion, but dot, dot, dot.
It's only a stupid question.
If you say it's a stupidquestion, the reason why we
(17:15):
don't want to bring that up isbecause this might be a stupid
question.
But dot dot, dot.
What is that giving off thatyou're not confident, that you
may not believe that you arecapable of asking whatever it is
that is on your mind, or thatyou're going to be looked at as
lesser because you don't knowthe very thing that you're
(17:38):
asking about.
One of the coolest things thatI've heard executives and vice
presidents and even CEOs say andthis is in my current
organization but then also inother organizations in very high
up places and even JockoWillink, who many of you all may
be familiar with, the author ofExtreme Ownership Navy SEAL is
(18:02):
very open about saying thesethree words I don't know.
And then, following these threewords, I don't know, and then
following, I will find out, Idon't know.
I remember the first time thatI heard a very high up vice
president in our company in areview say I don't know to a
(18:23):
question that he was asked, acomplex engineering question
that tied back to something thatthe FAA was very publicly
investigating at Boeing, andwhen I heard him say I don't
know, my mind first went to ohmy God, this guy is about to get
(18:46):
roasted torched.
What do you mean?
You don't know?
Roasted torched.
What do you mean?
You don't know?
I thought you had to knoweverything.
When you're at that level, Iinternalized that I created some
silly definition andexpectation that the higher up
you go, the more you must alwaysknow.
Certainly, generally speaking,those that move up to higher
(19:10):
positions or have their ownorganizations.
Maybe they know a little bitmore than the everyday person,
maybe.
But one of the most powerfulthings is even being able to say
I don't know, but I will findout.
We don't have to have all theanswers out.
(19:32):
We don't have to have all theanswers Going back to the
beginning.
This might be a stupid question.
No, the only stupid question isthe one that isn't asked.
There are no stupid questions.
It's okay to not know.
It's okay to not have knowledgeabout something, but don't go
(19:53):
ahead and start off with thismight be stupid, but dot, dot,
dot, not confident.
You could get passed on for afuture opportunity just by
saying that.
Another one is you're not goingto like this, but this may be
common, more common in therelationship world.
You're not going to like this,but now what is that doing?
(20:15):
We're automatically creating orsending a program for someone
else to download in their mind.
Okay, whatever this, I I'm notgoing to like this.
Dot dot dot.
You're not going to like this,but I forgot to do the dishes.
Maybe someone might notactually like that.
I forgot to do the dishes.
Maybe someone might notactually like that.
But what's something elseyou're not going to?
(20:39):
You're really not going to likethis, but the freeway exit is
closed.
Well, that's out of my controlanyways, but I'm not going to
program it into your mind thatnow you're not going to like
this thing.
This is really going to upsetyou, but dot dot dot.
Well, now we're programmingthis person to potentially
(21:05):
become upset and potentially notlike a situation that is not in
our grasp.
So that's another one wherethat can be reframed with.
I'm going to let you know aboutdot dot dot.
Or.
Here's something that isimportant for you to know right
(21:28):
now, because typically, if it'sa, you're not going to like this
, but or this is going to acceptyou, but you're bringing it up
because it's but, or this isgoing to accept you, but you're
bringing it up because it'ssomething relevant enough for
that person to know in thatmoment.
So I've replaced that with I'mletting you know about dot dot
dot, being upfront with it, butI'm not going to create this
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program in your mind.
That's going to potentiallythen create this emotion that I
really don't want to experiencefrom you or have you use
somewhere else.
I don't want to say this isgoing to make you mad.
But and then now you get mad atme or you go into your next
meeting mad.
You get mad at your partner,your spouse, because you
downloaded the program that Isent you.
(22:13):
Our minds are so malleable Iliterally look at our mind, and
a lot of research backs thisthat we just have a computer
program going on upstairs andour brains there's a topic of
neuroplasticity are verymalleable and our beliefs today
and our beliefs today.
We can completely rewire ourbelief systems, our language,
(22:48):
our responses to certain things,and I believe that's so
powerful and beautiful that wepossess that ability and we can
reprogram our bodies, minds andsouls to react to certain
situations in different manners,to use powerful language at all
times, to recognize when we arestating self-limiting beliefs,
(23:13):
to find the good in everything,because there's always an
abundance of it.
So I also see a responsibilityto us, not only to manage the
programs that we're downloading,but also what are the programs
that we're sending to others todownload into their minds.
(23:33):
Therefore, negative preamblesare no bueno.
The last one, which is verycommon, is sorry if this doesn't
make sense, but dot dot dot.
Replace that with let me knowif I can clarify this further
dot dot dot because sorry ifthis doesn't make sense.
(23:55):
Well now, what program am Isending to you?
Oh, I'm going to confuse you.
You should be confused by whatI'm going to say next.
So negative preambles arereally undercut to your
(24:16):
confidence before you can evenget your point across.
Yet these are things that weoften use every day and again,
these are things that halt us orprevent us from always
utilizing powerful language.
So one of my favorite quotes aswe move into self-talk and
(24:37):
self-limiting beliefs is byHenry Ford.
And Henry Ford was an innovator, pushed past everybody that
told him that the Model T was adumb car, a dumb concept, and
that he's never going to succeed, and kept going anyway because
he had a vision so strong andbelieved in himself and his
(25:02):
vision in mind that it didn'tmatter what people said.
He was going to go get thatthing done and execute.
My favorite Henry Ford quote isif you think you can or you
can't, you're right.
This all goes back to theprogramming and I like to even
(25:23):
say if you believe you can oryou can't, you're right.
But if you believe you can,really that would stop right
there.
But think versus believe.
I'm going to take believe, butif you think you can or you
can't, you're right.
What he is saying is that if youcan program, if you can
(25:45):
download a program that sees youcompleting a marathon, you can
complete a marathon.
If you download a program thatshows you never completing a
marathon, you are not going tocomplete a marathon.
So to put this into perspectiveor to put this into action,
when I'm often talking to peopleabout my recent experience at a
(26:10):
marathon or a certain race,it's not uncommon for someone to
say man, I could never do that,I could never run that far.
And I tell them first well,you're right, and you know why
you're right, because you saidthat, because you programmed
that into your mind.
(26:31):
Now I follow that with aninvitation to hey, the only
reason why you can't do that orwhy you won't be able to do that
or why you won't do it, period,isn't because of your physical
ability.
It's because you literally justprogrammed in your mind right
there that you are not capableand you cannot do that thing.
(26:54):
Therefore, yeah, you probablywill not run that marathon or
run that distance or start thatbusiness or reach out to that
person.
Yet these are things that wehear people say all the time.
Man, I could never.
I could never do that.
How about?
(27:15):
Man, I'd love to be able to dothat.
I'm working to be able to dothat, because now we're
programming in our mind thatit's possible and that we're
going to take action on it.
Another one man I always messthat up.
I always slice it into thewoods.
Imagine saying that for my nowwe'll go into sports and my
(27:37):
golfing friends you tee it up.
Man, I always always slice itleft into the woods, right there
.
Imagine thinking that rightbefore you get onto the tee box
on that particular hole, what isnow being programmed?
And putting it top of mind inyour brain I'm going to slice it
into the woods.
And, sure enough, guess whatyour brain is going to serve you
(27:59):
damn well there.
Because what are you going todo?
You're going to slice it intothe freaking woods or duck hook
it or whatever your miss is.
That's what you're going to do,man.
I always, always, screw thisone thing up.
Well, the next time you do it,you're probably going to do it
(28:20):
again, because you just declaredit, you just downloaded that
program and that computer isgoing to run that program.
If you say that what you canreplace it with is I'm working
to get better at dot dot dot.
I'm improving my skills.
Dot dot dot.
I'm working to keep the ball onthe right side of the fairway
(28:44):
so I don't duck hook it left.
I've been aiming, I've beenpracticing hitting more of my
shots right.
Just think about that program.
Another one man I'm not goodenough for that.
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I can't do that.
I can't go get that job.
Why Did someone say that to you,or are you creating that in
your mind?
Right now?
Most of the things that weoften speak out, especially as
it relates to this, are basedoff of narratives that we've
created in our minds that haveno factual evidence, that are
(29:30):
not backed by things that peoplehave told you.
We just go on and tell thesestories and then hold them true.
It's often ourselves that holdus back, more than anything in
life and when you really dissectit and what's holding you back.
And if I looked at all theprograms in your mind or in
(29:55):
people's minds people I've hadthe opportunity to work with
there's a lot of this in thereand these are easy to rewire out
Easy.
It takes work, but it's easy.
It's not rocket science.
It's complex or it getsdifficult in execution and
committing to the process.
So it's my wish that, as I'vebeen bringing this up, that
(30:19):
you've been hearing eitherthings that you say or things
that are similar to what I'vebeen bringing up and taking note
of that so you can reframe thatand rewire it, so you don't
potentially hold yourself backand create an unintended
consequence simply aroundlanguage.
Now here's some self-limitingbeliefs and, especially now that
(30:41):
we're in the middle of the year, some people may be looking at
their goals board like, man,this just, we'll, just 2026 will
be better.
They're already counting 2025out and I'm thinking, man, are
you crazy?
We're just getting started.
Six months, you can change yourlife completely.
I'm thinking about a quote fromSahil Bloom that he says you're
(31:06):
one year away from peoplesaying you got lucky.
And you could even say thatabout you're six months away
from people saying you got lucky.
It doesn't take an entirelifetime or an eternity to
really make your dreams cometrue.
One of the ones I'm hearingright now is man, I'm just not
(31:29):
disciplined.
Now, I believe I've ingrainedthis enough into your mind at
this point that that program youjust created is you're not
disciplined, you don't have it,you don't have the tools.
How about I'm learning to builddiscipline?
I'm focusing on becoming moredisciplined, and here's how I'm
(31:51):
doing it.
Think about how that lands inthat program.
Success is for people with moretalent than me.
There's another one how about?
Success comes from consistency,and I'm working on becoming
more consistent.
From what I've observed, peoplethat are successful are really
(32:16):
consistent.
So I'm working on myconsistency.
You see what I'm saying here,folks, that these programs in
our mind, it's important toaudit the programs that, or the
(32:38):
scripts that we've written,rather, and are those useful for
your life right now?
And so much of it goes back tothe words that we speak, and
even the words that we think andspeak into our minds and the
dialogue that we have withourselves.
(33:01):
If you don't believe you'redisciplined, then say I'm
working on building discipline.
If you don't believe thatyou're qualified for a certain
job right now, that you reallywant for a certain job right now
that you really want.
Say that I'm working to becomemore skilled in XYZ so that I
(33:22):
can gain this job in the future.
Don't say that, man, I couldnever launch a business, and
that's for people that are justway more talented.
Hey, launching a business isone of my dreams and I'm
actively studying ways that Ican go and get it done.
I'm not going to try to go andwork out tomorrow.
(33:47):
I'm going to set my alarm earlyand go execute.
I know you're not going to likethis, but dot dot dot.
Hey, I want you to know aboutsituation.
Dot dot dot.
I'm not going to create aprogram in your mind that's
going to then potentially createan emotion that I don't want to
(34:07):
experience from you.
Language is the creator of allthings and something to be taken
extremely seriously.
The words that we speak are whatcreate life, are what create
(34:30):
the opportunities, are whatcreate our dreams, personally,
professionally, the people thatare in our lives.
It took language to welcome inand entice and build with the
person that, or people that youlove most right now.
(34:54):
The words that we speak matter,and it's my wish that there were
many calls to action, or atleast one call to action for you
in this episode, in that onething we can focus on and, by
the way, these are things thatwith the exception of try,
(35:15):
because I believe that is so farwired out of me other than
making examples, but these arethings that I'm constantly
listening for, both in my ownself-talk and what I'm putting
out into the world, but thenalso what I'm listening to from
(35:41):
others, and I'm always creatingan invitation for someone to be
aware, to be made aware first.
Hey, do you know, by sayingthat, that this is what could be
getting created, so that they,too, can experience the benefits
of using powerful language?
We are all powerful creators.
(36:02):
You are a powerful creator, youhave all the tools to succeed,
and it's my wish that you'reextremely intentional about your
language so that you cancontinue to win, not hold
yourself back and create anabundance of opportunities and
(36:25):
amazing people in your life andwin today.
Thank you so much you.
Do hard things.
Help one person, be good and dogood, live a life of discipline
, and you will always win.
You have all the tools that youneed to succeed.
Welcome to win today.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
My name is Ryan Cass and I amyour host.
(00:21):
My purpose in this world is tohelp push people further and
harder than they believepossible and become unshakable
in what matters most to them intheir lives.
Every week, you're going tolearn from either myself or a
renowned expert in their field,and we're going to unveil pieces
of our playbook to help you wintoday.
Please, if you love this show,subscribe and share it with
(00:42):
somebody that will benefit fromit.
Let's dig in.
Imagine that this is a jobinterview and, as I say, that
every day in life truly is aninterview for something, though
it may not be an actual formalinterview that you're sitting in
, we theoretically interview forwho's going to be our next set
(01:10):
of friends or who is a personthat may welcome you into their
life simply as a result of yourway of being and the habits that
you possess, the language thatyou choose, the behaviors that
(01:32):
you model.
We're halfway into the year andone of my favorite things to
talk about is the importance ofpowerful language, because this
is something the words that wechoose as minor as it may seem
at times, the words that wechoose, the words that we speak
(01:54):
both outward and even what weallow inward, can make or break
an opportunity.
Can make or break anopportunity a group of people
welcoming you, in a person,welcoming you into their life,
(02:15):
whether it's a new friend or apotential romantic partner.
Everything in life is createdthrough language, and I can't
stress this enough that it is soimportant that I focus on this
every year and dedicate at leastone to two episodes on the
(02:36):
podcast around powerful languageand new things that I'm
continuing to learn about, howto, and new things that I'm
continuing to learn about how tooptimize our language, how to
stop saying the things thateverybody not everybody, but a
lot of people say as commonplace, not recognizing that these are
(02:59):
things that can be holding youback or preventing you from a
future opportunity.
This one has very deep meaningto me as it goes back to a story
, a situation in 2012, now 13years back, but this is how much
(03:21):
this means to me.
The first manager that I everworked for in the corporate
world was Chris Van Aresdale atOtis Elevator Company, and Otis
is a globally recognizedelevator manufacturer and
service company.
You've definitely been on anOtis elevator.
(03:43):
If you have been in amulti-story building, whether
it's two floors, a skyscraperyou've been in one.
I was interning for Otis fortwo summers.
This was in between mysophomore and junior year and I
will never forget my first dayand I wish I would have known
(04:03):
exactly what day it was, but itwas around that June July
timeframe.
So right about now, 13 years ago, chris took me out for lunch to
East Bay Deli and we sat down.
He shared his leadershipphilosophy with me, which really
inspired me that there arepeople in this world that care
(04:26):
so much about serving othersthat they've developed
principles in which they allowothers to hold them to and hold
them accountable to.
Rather, chris shared hisleadership beliefs and what I
can expect from him as a leaderbeliefs and what I can expect
(04:47):
from him as a leader and thenalso gave me permission to call
him out if he ever did anythingthat was out of alignment with
that philosophy.
I remember making a leadershipphilosophy that year, going into
that sophomore school year andgetting made fun of for sharing
it with people thinking that,why do you have a leadership
(05:07):
philosophy when you're 20 yearsold?
But that is something that Istill carry to this day and what
was used to develop a powerfulleadership philosophy Powerful
language.
Every day rather, every newperson that works directly for
me on my leadership team, all ofmy managers and anybody that
(05:31):
reports directly to me in aleadership capacity the first
thing they get on their firstday is my leadership philosophy,
and I give them that sameinvitation that Chris gave me 13
years ago, the second thingthat we do and the second thing
that Chris did.
That day after we got back fromlunch, he shared the vision and
(05:51):
goals for Otis and what the teamin South Carolina is working
for that year.
Then he asked me a questionRyan, what do you want to
accomplish this summer?
What do you intend toaccomplish this summer After?
Do you intend to accomplishthis summer After?
He gave me an overview of whatI was likely going to be doing.
I said, chris, well, I'm goingto try.
(06:12):
I couldn't even finish mysentence.
He stops me in my tracks and heputs a pen across the table.
He said, ryan, try to grab thatpen right across the table.
So what do I do?
I reach my arm across, I grabthe pen.
I hold it up in the air,thinking this is a trivial task.
What am I supposed to do now?
(06:33):
That was easy, and he said yousee what you just did there.
You didn't try to grab the pen,you took action, you made
something happen and you grabbedthe pen.
It wasn't optional, and whenyou're working with me this
summer, moving forward on yourgoals is not going to be
(06:57):
optional.
You are either going to succeedor you are not, and if you
don't, I'm going to help you getthere and understand why you
might not be.
And if you don't, I'm going tohelp you get there and
understand why you might not beable to meet the mark.
But you cannot use the word try, because try is optional.
One thing that is now a part ofmy mastermind group, the
(07:19):
Unshakable Discipline Mastermindcommunity, is anybody that uses
the word try on a weekly callon Tuesdays has a 10 burpee
penalty.
That actually was inspired byanother mastermind group that I
was a part of, called the HappyHustle Club, led by Kerry Jack,
(07:39):
and he invited me onto one ofhis meetings after I had him on
my podcast and I was blown awayby two things.
One, if anybody showed up lateto the meeting, then Carrie
picked a song and the person hadto sing it on the Zoom meeting
for 30 seconds, and there's alot of people on these calls.
(08:02):
The second, and there's a lotof people on these calls.
The second thing is if anybodyever used the word try or hope
or any sort of self-limitinglanguage or negative preambles,
that also resulted in a penaltyof 15 pushups.
And I believe there was oneother thing.
So I thought man, theunshakable community, this is
(08:26):
perfect.
10 burpees anytime someone usesthe word try or hope.
Or I think I'm going to, ormaybe I will do this because
these things, while it seemstrivial, while it seems trivial
(08:48):
downloads a program in our mindthat the very things that we
want the most in life and desirethe most are optional when we
put it into our mind.
I'm going to try to work outtomorrow morning the program
that just got downloaded is.
Maybe I'll work out if I'mfeeling good and if the alarm
goes off, maybe not Versus, I amgoing to work out in the
(09:12):
morning.
Now we've programmed ordownloaded a program into our
subconscious, into our malleablebrain, that this is not
optional.
We are doing this thingtomorrow, and that is that.
Now can things still get in theway, of course, but that
(09:35):
program is set, that we aredoing something, versus try mean
the program is set that wemight do something.
One simple word can change thecourse of action or change the
course of your life major andminor outcomes of things, job
(10:00):
opportunities, people that aregoing to welcome you into their
life, and so many more things.
I'm currently interviewingpeople right now for positions
that are going to be reportingdirectly to me, and that's one
of the things that I'm lookingfor, or that I'm listening for
very intently who is usingpowerful language and who is
(10:24):
using limiting language, becausethe people that are using
powerful language, meaning I'lllikely ask questions about what
do their next five years looklike?
I'm looking for the person thatis going to tell me that, that
Ryan, the, in the next fiveyears, I am going to dot, dot,
(10:46):
dot, and they've thought throughwhat they want, they know what
they want or they at least havesome sort of direction, and
here's how I'm going to do it.
That person, whether theyactually do that or not,
automatically has bonus pointsin my book, because, as I'm
hearing them say that what I'mhearing is that they have a
(11:08):
program in their mind, thattheir plan, their future, is not
optional.
And there will be other peoplethat give answers, such as Ryan,
well, I'm going to try, dot,dot, dot, dot.
Now what I'm hearing is, ifyou're working for me and on
this team, which has highstandards, and on this team,
(11:36):
which has high standards, thethings that we're going after
mentally might be optional toyou and that's not okay.
Therefore, you are likely notgoing to get this opportunity.
One word, one word, and you maythink, ryan, that's a little
harsh and go back to your normallife.
Imagine, for those of you thathave kids or have partners or
(12:02):
have something that you reallydeeply care about.
Think about this for a second.
Are the expectations that youhave about how you want someone
to treat you?
Are those optional?
Are you going to appreciate ifsomeone says, well, I'm going to
try to be nice and respectfulto you tomorrow.
(12:25):
How's that going to sit withyou?
My favorite one when I'mspeaking to my teams and I I
kindly interject when I hear theword try Now, most people I'd
say everybody in my organizationknows now, and people that that
spend time with me know thatword is banned.
(12:46):
We don't do burpees in thecorporate world, but if we could
, we would.
That would be a good thing forthe corporate world as well.
But I ask them, as many of themhave families, I say what would
you say if your son or daughtertold you that they were going
to try to clean their room?
(13:07):
Your response would be no, son,daughter, you're going to clean
your damn room, because that'sthe standard that we uphold in
this household.
I can only imagine what itwould have been like telling my
five foot two Colombianfirecracker mom that I'm going
to try to be respectful and tryto empty the trash can.
(13:34):
Now, I wasn't always successfulat that growing up the emptying
the trash can part, therespectful part.
If that part didn't happen,then my tail would be red and my
head would be on a swivel.
But this is to bring light tothe fact that one word can
change the course.
One phrase can change thecourse, can create or have you
(14:00):
be passed on from an opportunitythat you desire.
So there's three things thatI'm going to bring up here for
you to be aware of, as you maynot even recognize how often
you're doing or saying thesethings.
I believe we've used aconsiderable amount of time now
(14:21):
in that try is a word thatshould be eliminated from your
vocabulary, because if I askedyou, is your dream life optional
?
You would say no, it's notoptional.
Why would it be optional?
So are you going to try tocreate it, or are you going to
create it, or are you going todo your best to create it?
(14:43):
Are you going to work to createit?
Not try, do, try, do, try, do.
Catch yourself this week,especially if you're a culprit
of this how many times are youusing the word try and give
yourself some sort of penaltyfor it and tell somebody to hold
you accountable too?
(15:04):
I remember that, after Chris hadthat conversation with me, that
I wrote down how many times Iwould use the word try on a
given day, and I had a littletally sheet and I was working to
get it to zero, and I rememberthat I would often slow down my
speech, slow down breathe.
(15:26):
It's actually okay to thinkbefore you speak, and it doesn't
.
The silence isn't as awkward asyou believe it is or as you
create in your mind that, oh myGod, this person's going to
think I'm an idiot because I'mpausing.
I just paused here as I'mlooking at myself on video and
(15:48):
now have trained myself to knowthat, hey, this isn't awkward,
this is normal.
The audio version of this.
You're not even going to tellthat.
I just took a nice little pauseto regroup, slow down, catch
yourself.
Maybe the word try?
Every time you do it is 10burpees.
And guess what?
Let's say you use it 10 times.
(16:09):
Today or tomorrow You're goingto do 100 burpees, you're going
to get in better shape whiledoing it and you're going to do
less and less burpees.
Eventually.
Hopefully right, not evenhopefully.
That's another one we'regetting rid of.
So three things One is negativepreambles.
The second is negativeself-talk and then self-limiting
(16:30):
beliefs.
So I'm going to go through afew that I hear very commonly
and provide a reframe and thecall to action with each of
these.
If you hear something that youare culprit of or that you use a
lot and maybe you don'trecognize what it really could
mean, then I invite you tochallenge yourself and let me
(16:53):
know if anything really stoodout to you.
So, negative preamble what isthat?
Here's an example of a negativepreamble.
Oh man, this might be a stupidquestion, but dot, dot, dot.
It's only a stupid question.
If you say it's a stupidquestion, the reason why we
(17:15):
don't want to bring that up isbecause this might be a stupid
question.
But dot dot, dot.
What is that giving off thatyou're not confident, that you
may not believe that you arecapable of asking whatever it is
that is on your mind, or thatyou're going to be looked at as
lesser because you don't knowthe very thing that you're
(17:38):
asking about.
One of the coolest things thatI've heard executives and vice
presidents and even CEOs say andthis is in my current
organization but then also inother organizations in very high
up places and even JockoWillink, who many of you all may
be familiar with, the author ofExtreme Ownership Navy SEAL is
(18:02):
very open about saying thesethree words I don't know.
And then, following these threewords, I don't know, and then
following, I will find out, Idon't know.
I remember the first time thatI heard a very high up vice
president in our company in areview say I don't know to a
(18:23):
question that he was asked, acomplex engineering question
that tied back to something thatthe FAA was very publicly
investigating at Boeing, andwhen I heard him say I don't
know, my mind first went to ohmy God, this guy is about to get
(18:46):
roasted torched.
What do you mean?
You don't know?
Roasted torched.
What do you mean?
You don't know?
I thought you had to knoweverything.
When you're at that level, Iinternalized that I created some
silly definition andexpectation that the higher up
you go, the more you must alwaysknow.
Certainly, generally speaking,those that move up to higher
(19:10):
positions or have their ownorganizations.
Maybe they know a little bitmore than the everyday person,
maybe.
But one of the most powerfulthings is even being able to say
I don't know, but I will findout.
We don't have to have all theanswers out.
(19:32):
We don't have to have all theanswers Going back to the
beginning.
This might be a stupid question.
No, the only stupid question isthe one that isn't asked.
There are no stupid questions.
It's okay to not know.
It's okay to not have knowledgeabout something, but don't go
(19:53):
ahead and start off with thismight be stupid, but dot, dot,
dot, not confident.
You could get passed on for afuture opportunity just by
saying that.
Another one is you're not goingto like this, but this may be
common, more common in therelationship world.
You're not going to like this,but now what is that doing?
(20:15):
We're automatically creating orsending a program for someone
else to download in their mind.
Okay, whatever this, I I'm notgoing to like this.
Dot dot dot.
You're not going to like this,but I forgot to do the dishes.
Maybe someone might notactually like that.
I forgot to do the dishes.
Maybe someone might notactually like that.
But what's something elseyou're not going to?
(20:39):
You're really not going to likethis, but the freeway exit is
closed.
Well, that's out of my controlanyways, but I'm not going to
program it into your mind thatnow you're not going to like
this thing.
This is really going to upsetyou, but dot dot dot.
Well, now we're programmingthis person to potentially
(21:05):
become upset and potentially notlike a situation that is not in
our grasp.
So that's another one wherethat can be reframed with.
I'm going to let you know aboutdot dot dot.
Or.
Here's something that isimportant for you to know right
(21:28):
now, because typically, if it'sa, you're not going to like this
, but or this is going to acceptyou, but you're bringing it up
because it's but, or this isgoing to accept you, but you're
bringing it up because it'ssomething relevant enough for
that person to know in thatmoment.
So I've replaced that with I'mletting you know about dot dot
dot, being upfront with it, butI'm not going to create this
(21:50):
program in your mind.
That's going to potentiallythen create this emotion that I
really don't want to experiencefrom you or have you use
somewhere else.
I don't want to say this isgoing to make you mad.
But and then now you get mad atme or you go into your next
meeting mad.
You get mad at your partner,your spouse, because you
downloaded the program that Isent you.
(22:13):
Our minds are so malleable Iliterally look at our mind, and
a lot of research backs thisthat we just have a computer
program going on upstairs andour brains there's a topic of
neuroplasticity are verymalleable and our beliefs today
and our beliefs today.
We can completely rewire ourbelief systems, our language,
(22:48):
our responses to certain things,and I believe that's so
powerful and beautiful that wepossess that ability and we can
reprogram our bodies, minds andsouls to react to certain
situations in different manners,to use powerful language at all
times, to recognize when we arestating self-limiting beliefs,
(23:13):
to find the good in everything,because there's always an
abundance of it.
So I also see a responsibilityto us, not only to manage the
programs that we're downloading,but also what are the programs
that we're sending to others todownload into their minds.
(23:33):
Therefore, negative preamblesare no bueno.
The last one, which is verycommon, is sorry if this doesn't
make sense, but dot dot dot.
Replace that with let me knowif I can clarify this further
dot dot dot because sorry ifthis doesn't make sense.
(23:55):
Well now, what program am Isending to you?
Oh, I'm going to confuse you.
You should be confused by whatI'm going to say next.
So negative preambles arereally undercut to your
(24:16):
confidence before you can evenget your point across.
Yet these are things that weoften use every day and again,
these are things that halt us orprevent us from always
utilizing powerful language.
So one of my favorite quotes aswe move into self-talk and
(24:37):
self-limiting beliefs is byHenry Ford.
And Henry Ford was an innovator, pushed past everybody that
told him that the Model T was adumb car, a dumb concept, and
that he's never going to succeed, and kept going anyway because
he had a vision so strong andbelieved in himself and his
(25:02):
vision in mind that it didn'tmatter what people said.
He was going to go get thatthing done and execute.
My favorite Henry Ford quote isif you think you can or you
can't, you're right.
This all goes back to theprogramming and I like to even
(25:23):
say if you believe you can oryou can't, you're right.
But if you believe you can,really that would stop right
there.
But think versus believe.
I'm going to take believe, butif you think you can or you
can't, you're right.
What he is saying is that if youcan program, if you can
(25:45):
download a program that sees youcompleting a marathon, you can
complete a marathon.
If you download a program thatshows you never completing a
marathon, you are not going tocomplete a marathon.
So to put this into perspectiveor to put this into action,
when I'm often talking to peopleabout my recent experience at a
(26:10):
marathon or a certain race,it's not uncommon for someone to
say man, I could never do that,I could never run that far.
And I tell them first well,you're right, and you know why
you're right, because you saidthat, because you programmed
that into your mind.
(26:31):
Now I follow that with aninvitation to hey, the only
reason why you can't do that orwhy you won't be able to do that
or why you won't do it, period,isn't because of your physical
ability.
It's because you literally justprogrammed in your mind right
there that you are not capableand you cannot do that thing.
(26:54):
Therefore, yeah, you probablywill not run that marathon or
run that distance or start thatbusiness or reach out to that
person.
Yet these are things that wehear people say all the time.
Man, I could never.
I could never do that.
How about?
(27:15):
Man, I'd love to be able to dothat.
I'm working to be able to dothat, because now we're
programming in our mind thatit's possible and that we're
going to take action on it.
Another one man I always messthat up.
I always slice it into thewoods.
Imagine saying that for my nowwe'll go into sports and my
(27:37):
golfing friends you tee it up.
Man, I always always slice itleft into the woods, right there
.
Imagine thinking that rightbefore you get onto the tee box
on that particular hole, what isnow being programmed?
And putting it top of mind inyour brain I'm going to slice it
into the woods.
And, sure enough, guess whatyour brain is going to serve you
(27:59):
damn well there.
Because what are you going todo?
You're going to slice it intothe freaking woods or duck hook
it or whatever your miss is.
That's what you're going to do,man.
I always, always, screw thisone thing up.
Well, the next time you do it,you're probably going to do it
(28:20):
again, because you just declaredit, you just downloaded that
program and that computer isgoing to run that program.
If you say that what you canreplace it with is I'm working
to get better at dot dot dot.
I'm improving my skills.
Dot dot dot.
I'm working to keep the ball onthe right side of the fairway
(28:44):
so I don't duck hook it left.
I've been aiming, I've beenpracticing hitting more of my
shots right.
Just think about that program.
Another one man I'm not goodenough for that.
(29:07):
I can't do that.
I can't go get that job.
Why Did someone say that to you,or are you creating that in
your mind?
Right now?
Most of the things that weoften speak out, especially as
it relates to this, are basedoff of narratives that we've
created in our minds that haveno factual evidence, that are
(29:30):
not backed by things that peoplehave told you.
We just go on and tell thesestories and then hold them true.
It's often ourselves that holdus back, more than anything in
life and when you really dissectit and what's holding you back.
And if I looked at all theprograms in your mind or in
(29:55):
people's minds people I've hadthe opportunity to work with
there's a lot of this in thereand these are easy to rewire out
Easy.
It takes work, but it's easy.
It's not rocket science.
It's complex or it getsdifficult in execution and
committing to the process.
So it's my wish that, as I'vebeen bringing this up, that
(30:19):
you've been hearing eitherthings that you say or things
that are similar to what I'vebeen bringing up and taking note
of that so you can reframe thatand rewire it, so you don't
potentially hold yourself backand create an unintended
consequence simply aroundlanguage.
Now here's some self-limitingbeliefs and, especially now that
(30:41):
we're in the middle of the year, some people may be looking at
their goals board like, man,this just, we'll, just 2026 will
be better.
They're already counting 2025out and I'm thinking, man, are
you crazy?
We're just getting started.
Six months, you can change yourlife completely.
I'm thinking about a quote fromSahil Bloom that he says you're
(31:06):
one year away from peoplesaying you got lucky.
And you could even say thatabout you're six months away
from people saying you got lucky.
It doesn't take an entirelifetime or an eternity to
really make your dreams cometrue.
One of the ones I'm hearingright now is man, I'm just not
(31:29):
disciplined.
Now, I believe I've ingrainedthis enough into your mind at
this point that that program youjust created is you're not
disciplined, you don't have it,you don't have the tools.
How about I'm learning to builddiscipline?
I'm focusing on becoming moredisciplined, and here's how I'm
(31:51):
doing it.
Think about how that lands inthat program.
Success is for people with moretalent than me.
There's another one how about?
Success comes from consistency,and I'm working on becoming
more consistent.
From what I've observed, peoplethat are successful are really
(32:16):
consistent.
So I'm working on myconsistency.
You see what I'm saying here,folks, that these programs in
our mind, it's important toaudit the programs that, or the
(32:38):
scripts that we've written,rather, and are those useful for
your life right now?
And so much of it goes back tothe words that we speak, and
even the words that we think andspeak into our minds and the
dialogue that we have withourselves.
(33:01):
If you don't believe you'redisciplined, then say I'm
working on building discipline.
If you don't believe thatyou're qualified for a certain
job right now, that you reallywant for a certain job right now
that you really want.
Say that I'm working to becomemore skilled in XYZ so that I
(33:22):
can gain this job in the future.
Don't say that, man, I couldnever launch a business, and
that's for people that are justway more talented.
Hey, launching a business isone of my dreams and I'm
actively studying ways that Ican go and get it done.
I'm not going to try to go andwork out tomorrow.
(33:47):
I'm going to set my alarm earlyand go execute.
I know you're not going to likethis, but dot dot dot.
Hey, I want you to know aboutsituation.
Dot dot dot.
I'm not going to create aprogram in your mind that's
going to then potentially createan emotion that I don't want to
(34:07):
experience from you.
Language is the creator of allthings and something to be taken
extremely seriously.
The words that we speak are whatcreate life, are what create
(34:30):
the opportunities, are whatcreate our dreams, personally,
professionally, the people thatare in our lives.
It took language to welcome inand entice and build with the
person that, or people that youlove most right now.
(34:54):
The words that we speak matter,and it's my wish that there were
many calls to action, or atleast one call to action for you
in this episode, in that onething we can focus on and, by
the way, these are things thatwith the exception of try,
(35:15):
because I believe that is so farwired out of me other than
making examples, but these arethings that I'm constantly
listening for, both in my ownself-talk and what I'm putting
out into the world, but thenalso what I'm listening to from
(35:41):
others, and I'm always creatingan invitation for someone to be
aware, to be made aware first.
Hey, do you know, by sayingthat, that this is what could be
getting created, so that they,too, can experience the benefits
of using powerful language?
We are all powerful creators.
(36:02):
You are a powerful creator, youhave all the tools to succeed,
and it's my wish that you'reextremely intentional about your
language so that you cancontinue to win, not hold
yourself back and create anabundance of opportunities and
(36:25):
amazing people in your life andwin today.
Thank you so much you.
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