Ask Elvis

We all think Elvis knows the most out of all of us, so we all have questions for him. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
first minute Morning Show. Well, here we are again, gathering
for the fifteen minute Morning show podcast. There's Nate Garrett
is at the Jersey shore. Are you looking at the

(00:25):
ocean right now? Yeah? Block away? Yeah, I can see it,
smell it. Yeah. I got into a fight with a
seagull yesterday. They tried to steal my French fry. They
are the ruthless ruthless almost punched in the face. They
took it right out of her hand and flew away
with her sandwich. She had no lunch. So scary, right, scary.
There's Garrett. There's Dave Brody and almost as sexy and

(00:45):
romantic spot his house. What do you have behind you today, Brody? Oh,
I've got Harry Potter lego sets that I worked very
very hard on. Yeah, okay, did you say hard on.
We'll get back to that. Gary's Gary's here. Here's Danielle,
there's Gandhi. There's who's that? Oh, that's me? And there's
Froggy and then Scotty B. Where Scotty B. He's not

(01:06):
in his studio, larious with his waffle house? What's he eating?
Let's let's go Oh my god, let's watch him eat.
Let's watch he's not a slurper impressed. This is is
like we're at the zoo. What's watching the animals in

(01:26):
the exhibits? Feeding time? This is feeding time. Scotty B's
eating his pasta. Takes a long time to chew. You
know what's he doing? I wanna I wanna watch him
take another big old bite. Oh, here we go, Here
we go, here we go, here we go, here we go.
At all, that's a long head in the trap. Shit himself,

(01:58):
spin it, not even a little. He just look he
got a little wanted to wash it down, refreshing. What's
the opening there? What's this white? I think that's kind
bill looks like it's his crystal light. Oh it's his
drink mix. Oh look at that. He just choked it

(02:19):
all over the place, blew it out to the board.
Look at trying to get it all in there. Look
it's not going in. He's mad. He blew it into
the crevices of the audio console. We're gonna pay the price.
Oh no, he's got something on his hand. Now, this

(02:40):
is awesome. I can do this all day. Oh yeah, yeah,
shake what your mama gave you he left his pasta
for too long though, I mean, I know it's gonna
get cold. Should someone tell him we want him to
eat faster? Scott I feel like people pay like web

(03:02):
girls to do this stuff and we're just getting a
show for hold on, we are He just mouthed the words,
Oh fuck, I swear to god he did. Look hold
on a second. I'm hold on. He's got to hit
a button and he's gonna come in here. He's got
no clue. We were watching him for the past five minutes.
I bet all that crystal light dust just shut down

(03:22):
the station. It did. You have to put on a
mask before you go into that studio, not because of
the COVID, because there's there's crystal light dust in the
air here timing something. Come on, Scottie, He's to have
one more bite of that pasta before he comes out.
Like I like the facts. His love for waffle House
is so great. He wears their promo T shirts. He loves.

(03:45):
But he got a box in the mail the other
day from waffle House. Here he goes. I told you
where he goes. He got a quick Oh he's wiping
up nice. Come on, Scotty, and how long. How long
have we been watching? And frog? H three and a
half minutes? Oh, coming in within Okay, here's a nice chest. Hey, Scotty,

(04:16):
we've been watching here for four minutes and you're putting
that crystal light dust under the board. We saw you
blow it under the board the garret. The package ripped
open and went everywhere. What are you? Blow it into
the audio console? Yeah? What's that? Garrett? Why do you
scoop or pasta? Why don't you twirl? Well, because it's spaghetti,

(04:36):
I just suck it, okay, but I have to do it.
I gotta do it delicately because I don't want the
sauce flying all over my shirt. So I do it suck. Yeah,
I do it one strand at a time. So you
suck delicately, very delicate, so it doesn't fly all all
of you. I don't like the sauce on me. And
and I did see you. You were looking at the
screen doing something, and I saw you mouth the words,

(04:57):
oh fuck, What was that about? What happened? Well, you
know the crystal light packets, you're supposed to just tear
the top off and you pour it in the bottle.
When I went to tear the top, the whole thing
flew open on this the whole side opened up, so
I didn't want to waste it, so I had a
delicately poured into the bottle. All right, we'll go back
into your cage. We'll check back with you in the
moment when you don't know it all right, thanks, alright, alright,

(05:17):
once again I've been called in to mediate a problem
with the show. I'm understanding there's a skirmish going on
between Brody and Scary. What is that? Scary as you
may or may not know. This past weekend, Scary and
I finally got our first shipment of Brooklyn Boys podcast
T shirts and sweatshirts and whatnot, And so I drove

(05:40):
to his house yesterday. I picked up my portion of
the shirts and we made up to where the Brooklyn
Boys T shirts today on the podcast and him during
the show as a as a way to like let
people know we have the shirts, but they'll be cute.
So I got the shirt. I I steamed it last
night and I had it on and thirty five set
before this podcast started. He texted me and says, oh,

(06:03):
by the way, I forgot my shirt. So I had
to run upstairs to two floors to get another shirt quickly, wrinkle,
spray it and then come back down here. And why
couldn't he tell me at seven o'clock, eight o'clock? He
waits until right before the podcast. This is the this
you know. I know there's not a lot, a lot

(06:24):
going on during the pandemic, but and then I spilled
crystal light all the day you go upstairs and put
on a shirt. I agree, No offense. I mean, if
you are really busy all morning, I have a million
things going on, a million I didn't have. I didn't

(06:45):
have time to text you. It's like, oh, by the way,
I forgot tomorrow, I'll wear it. I'm sorry. No offense,
Brody Scotty, I mean, scary does have a lot more
going on than you do this morning. What are you saying?
Are you're right? He does? But you're saying in three
hours in ten minute commercial breaks, he couldn't text me. No,
he's posting stuff on social media at the top of

(07:06):
my mind. See that's the that's the problem. Brody wants
you to be more of a priority in his life. Yes, okay,
that that's the issue here, I do. He wants you
to like think of him whenever you think of anything,
put him in your thought as well. And that's okay, alright,
when you put me in your thought and you invite

(07:27):
me never Okay, okay, we're moving on. Thank you, Nate.
You said you had a question. What do you need
help with your Okay? Here all right? So you know,
hold on, I just heard a c gulf. Yeah, they're back.
They want to fight me, they want to fight Seriously,
I'm saying, go right ahead. Okay, So Elvis, here are
go to for a lot of different things. I know,

(07:49):
Froggy asks you a lot of different questions on many
very topics. Everybody comes to you for one reason or
other because you are a very this is this isn't
the this isn't the anal sex conversation. No, no it man.
It does have to do with that part of the body.
So but yeah, well kind of, Um if I so
I have a prostate issue right now. We were discussing

(08:11):
this on the Big Show, and I don't know how
to ask this question the podcast. Just ask it, ask it, um.
If I have to have my prostate examined, you've had
that done before, right daily, I'm kidding. Please continue, try
to just mow through the never static have any tips

(08:32):
for having tips? Oh my god, No, it's like hanging
out with ten year old boys in here A serious question. Here,
here's the tip. You just sit there and they do it.
That's it. What your doctor will do is we'll put it. Yes,
it is he or she will put a glove on.
My doctor happens to be a female. She's a woman.

(08:53):
She's the best. She puts a glove on. She sticks
her finger up your butt hole. She takes it up
and she puts it on a like a a paper
to see if it changes color or something like that.
It's all. That's all it is. Just let her in
your let him in your butt just for a second,
and they pull it out. Don't They put on their
fingertip first on their I don't think. No, No, what's

(09:15):
that flying by? I don't turn that. They're probably changing
no more cars. It's getting very busy at the beach. No.
I don't think they put jelly on there. I don't know.
I don't have to put some sort of lubricant, don't
they don't they do? I don't know. I think I
think I think they do. They have to, because when
you're getting a gynecological exam, they put something on. Yeah,

(09:36):
I don't think entry ways to the same. Like sometimes
it's like a single garage door and then other times
it's like a parking garage. So I think they sometimes
they need lube. There has to be a YouTube video
on this, so let's go watch it as a show.
You know, it seems like to me that the lube
would would would distort the sample test results. I don't

(09:58):
want to go. I I would like as smooth entry
as possible. Well, wouldn't we all? Here's my my thought. Uh,
it's it's one of these things that's out of your control.
And you know that you've been in the hospital a
lot with strokes and heart attacks and everything. Um, you
just put your life in their hands and just don't
even question it. They'll take care of you. No, it's

(10:18):
gonna get It's not in there very long, right, It's
not like at all. It's like no, it's like boo
elevator button. I paid extra? Yeah, yeah, any other question, Yes,
if you pay, they stay in there longer. Do they
kiss you and tell you they love you? Yes? Gandi?

(10:40):
What did you find out? Okay, So, first of all,
this says they do use a bit of lube on
a gloved finger to gently insert into the rectum, gentle
being the key. But I also had a question for
you after all of this, I would like to know
in order, who's microphones would you like to shut off?

(11:05):
You know what? I can't answer that. I'll tell you
why because it changes there. You know. Am I generally
near the top of the list every day? Yes, absolutely consistently. No, No,
I don't want anyone's microphone off all right? Daniel questions, wait, wait, wait,
what if it's the doctor's first Like you're the doctor's

(11:26):
first exam and he's friend new it doing like slip?
I think they practice on dolls and them cadaver They
do all kinds of stuff to cadavers. To they do
so when you donate your body to science, like, is
that something that they could be doing on you when

(11:47):
you wouldn't know they could be if you If you
don't your body to science, it's theirs they can do you.
You don't care that I might care about. Look Scotty,
how's that spaghetti? Look at it? He's going down on it.
I didn't want to have any questions, Garrett, uh um, No,

(12:08):
I'm a bad cooking general. So this this is a
whole another podcast. You know, el time of all trades
though you you really are because like I called you for,
I've called you for lots of cooking advice, I've called
you for bodily advice. I called you for gardening advice
on Saturday, and you knew the answer right off the bat.
Like I'm telling you, you are a plethora of information

(12:31):
you have right off the top of your head. And
you could be bullshitting or you could We really know
what you're talking about. I don't know. They say it
comes across like what were you saying? Brodie? Are we
gonna give equal time to pap smears? I couldn't answer
those questions. I don't know about pap smears? Is he
a friend of yours? They do? Yeah, but you can

(12:53):
see the doctor when you're doing it. We can't. Oh,
why you know what they do with the thing that
they stick and you It goes in normal and then
it spreads out? Would you like that? I don't think like?
But don't you think it's like the pizza the server
that they use it like pizzeria Uno? That's what it
looks like. I don't Whenever wait. Whenever I see the

(13:16):
pizzeria Uno people and they have it in their back
pocket while they're walking around the restaurant, I go, that
looks like the guind of the guy to college the
casseroll clamps? Is that what it's called a casserole clamp?
I didn't know that it is a speculum. It's it's

(13:36):
a casserole clam. Mind if mind if I keep this pizza?
You mind if I clamp your casserole? This is a
foul conversation. Can we talk about gardening or anything? But
wait a minute, it is gardening sometimes if you're not,
you know, well taken care of for the doctor, it
could be like gardening. And some of them are growing

(13:56):
all sorts of things. What's your question, Froggy, No, I
might question to you on Saturday? Was not dirty. I
didn't have a dirty question at all. It was nothing
it was it was it was very clean. I had
little small plants that they need to put in large planters,
and I didn't want to fill it all with dirt
because I thought it would be too heavy and too costly.
So I called Alvius and asked him what do you
fill a planter with? And he knew right off the

(14:17):
bat he had multiple options and it worked, and I
did it and it's it worked perfect. So you need
to give yourself a little more credit. Thank you. I
got one. I got one, alright. So elvis um, you've
got me into rose? You you and you know I
drink cider, but hard hard alcohol. What would be the

(14:38):
best hard drink to jump into? Like into the shallow end?
If I'm having like a hard drink. It depends on
what you want. You know, it's summertime. I I would
say this, go get some watermelon juice in tequila with
a squeeze of lime. It's fabulous. It's refreshing. Watermelon juice, tequila,

(15:00):
a squeeze of lime. Got it? Or I could go down.
I have a list of a million things. How about
a nice gimlet? Have a gimlet? All right, I'll google
that later. Gimlet some roses, lime juice, Yes, got it? Okay,
I'm bored answering questions. Can I just sit back and
let someone else answer questions for a while? I like
Gandhi's question. That was my favorite. I appreciate it. You

(15:24):
didn't answer it, yeah, answer, well, I did answer. The
question was if in order which Mike's do you want
to turn off first, in order of names? Whatever? And
I said it changes every day, right, that was my answer.
I can't answer that question, okay, but I like that
he does have answers that there are mikes he wants
to turn off. So now we can all just wonder

(15:45):
and fret who is it? Is it me? I don't
know that was a smart play. We've been going for
fifteen and a half minutes. Oh God, coming back, and
I'm not all right, I gotta go. Good luckily, just
eagulls there. What an awful problem to have. Seagulls. You're
at the shore. Oh you try to come fight the seagulls, Garrett,

(16:08):
I want to be there, all right, have a nice day.
Bye bye. The fifteen Minute Morning Show