November 28, 2018 • 15 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Fine Presents. Yeah, I got it. I got a topic
from that. I am appalled, but I don't know for
a lot to talk about it the minute morning show,
(00:23):
but after the big show. This is ten minute window
when we sit here and talk about the most disgusting things,
the most disgusting You win that one one. I don't
have to say, we don't have to say it, but
you want with whatever I have to say. I don't
think that it's disgusting. I think that there's so many
normal things that people do that everybody thinks disgusting. Normal
just don't they don't talk about it? Yeah, I agree.
(00:47):
No one wants to admit everything, like everybody picks their
nose right when no one talks about but everybody does. Okay,
nobody does what you just said you did. Nobody does
that take Do you want me to start with like
a disgusting thing I do to make you feel comfortable?
Hold on? We just we should all sa hello him
Gandhi by than. This is the topic I feel like
(01:08):
is coming here is did you ever take a job
and then you learned crap about your coworker your new
coworkers you had no idea. Yeah, every job I've ever taken,
I've been like, the fun does happen? Okay, So before
you heard what great Tea said? What was the most
What do that you heard? Before what you just heard? Oh,
I'm gonna have to think about that first. You know what,
we can't talk about it. There's a lot of stuff
that happens behind the scenes that we can't talk about.
(01:30):
You say, what job it was? Just tell us the story. Uh, Nope,
I can't do it. Can't do it. It could be bad.
Do you have one? You go first. So I used
to work for Um Chuck E Cheese many many years ago.
I was a manager many years ago, and it was
a franchise, which means a guy, two guys owned the
(01:52):
franchise and his wife got drunk one day and I
don't know what we're to part. We found out that
he like to have sex with cantaloupes. What like he
would I don't know what he did, but he would
put he would put a hole in the candle open
and then and then he would he would do it
(02:12):
to the candle ope, and then he enjoyed having his
wife then eat the candle Oope. That sounds strange, but
you don't not compare to what but that's up there,
that's up there, that's up there is what they called.
But everything sounds strange, but you don't know if it's
really that strange. So you try it, and then let's
(02:32):
say you do try. Okay, somebody get me a candle. Oop.
I think if we pull if we pulled in like
Scotty Be, all of the interns and we asked them
the question of what what you said? I think not
one person does it. Asking Scotty B is not fair.
Scotty B is the king of crazy weird ship, but
not Okay, I'm not gonna taint it. Scotty B plays waterfall.
(02:55):
Do we just do? I just ask the question, okay,
Scotty Be. Have you ever shipped in the shower hour
and shoved it down the drain with your feet? No,
that's a great tea thing, Okay, I have. There's been
more than one occasion where I've tried really hard to
do it in the ocean because I want to see
what it feels like. My body won't allow it. Why
do you want to feel like what? I don't know.
(03:15):
I just think it'd be fool it's just free gold fish. Yeah.
I mean I've never gotten out of a pool in
my life. By the way, if you took it, if
you took a dump in the ocean and a shark
was attracted eight you, I'd be finally hold on a
sitting pools. No, no no, no, no, no no, no, I
think it who I I won't get out of the
(03:36):
pool to pe. I only pee in pools. You're never
coming to my house. I p in pools on a
regular on your own house. The filter. I think we
found that common ground here. Scary pet in pools before,
but not I don't make a habit of it. But
you pet pools. It's not my own. Also, you have
(03:57):
totally totally pet pool um. When we're talking about like
picking your nose, sometimes I really get enjoyment out of
picking picking the booker off my nose rain because then
I can breathe like completely differently, welogy, that is not
where's the shooting in the shower and shoving it down
(04:19):
with your t It's got to go down the drain.
Where are you thinking it goes? Anyway? Comes that we're
talking about two others that I do A three actually
have we got baby four. I don't know here it's
not that gross, but like once a month, you really
need to get into your belly button with a cute tip.
Sniff it. Oh no, yes, until the sni You twirl
(04:42):
it until it hurts your brain and then you see
all the chunks on it and you snip it, and
then what are your belly tonight? You'll see when you
get out of this. That's what I have a dog for.
When you get when you get out of the shower,
put a cute tip in your belly button twirlet and
you'll see what comes out, I promise you. And also,
but why have to stuff comes out? Yes, get out,
(05:02):
so you go from belly button to nose and then
what you throw it out right after? And throw it
out and my dog eats it out of the garbage.
I just cut out the middle man. Yeah. And then
when you cut your big toe oil after it's been
there for I don't know however, sniff it because it's
always getting under it. Yes, you have smells like cheesebly,
but if you know it smells like cheese, why do
you smell? It's satisfying the big toe now? And then
(05:27):
I've used the in between my teeth. You this hooks
and it gets right up in there most at all. Right,
hold on you, Scotty, you named two things, you said
you had at least three or four. Yeah, Well, I
like to watch people vomit. I think it's funny people.
(05:50):
Have you gone? Have you gone on YouTube and typed
in vomit videos and vomit videos? By the way, you're
going to enjoy that about already seconds if these stories
keep going for I can't smell it, though, but I
can watch it. What if I vomited in your belly button?
That'd be a lot to take out. By the way,
that's what the candaloupe was involving. So Scotty and Daniel
(06:12):
vomits around here? Is that like every time of Tea
does a bit where he drinks some ship. I laughed hysterically. Pants,
I love it so much. All right, that's three in
your pants? Do you smell it to make sure you
have peace healthy? Yes? So you're a sniffer of things.
I also, you know, you know, I did have that website,
but I never used it, Strange Shape Poop dot Com,
because I'm I love strange shaped poops. Like there's that's
(06:35):
why I said Scott. I'm telling you there's one time
where I got up and it was a z I
swear to talking about dedication. How did that happen? Other
people must have this, that's right. Wait, I feel exposed
in tea and you, Garrett Brody and Scary haven't said
anything grows that they do. I would say the grossest thing.
I would just pee in pools. I was in pools
(06:55):
most of my life, and I would just I didn't
want to get out and I was just being pools
things I don't know. I don't really have much they
know about being in pools. I was a competitive swimmer,
so I would pee in the pool. But the problem
is coming back on the other end, so I would
end up swimming in my own p so but it's
diluted by that. Okay and chlorine. Somebody's firing us some
(07:17):
topic ideas for the fifteen minute morning show, because I
really like this one and I want to know more
about Scotty Be because I feel like the things he's mentioning.
Keep going categories on porn. I can't do it anymore. Yeah,
the categories Scotty Be dropped down. There can't take about
(07:38):
porn up those things. They're all actors, like it's not fun,
but are amateurs that want to be watched? But a
hold on, he said, a lot of them are. I'm
an amateur. That means they don't get paid by a
porn company, but their professional fake amateurs. I think there's
(07:58):
definitely it's from what I hear people who have done
things at their house and it's a bit at it,
Like I type in, like you know, and then yes,
let's talk about our porn searches, and you get like
you get like real people, you know, like from wherever
they're doing it, like in a hotel room or the Yeah,
because that's real. And then when the chick vomits, that's
so great. And their bodies are not like gorgeous bodies,
(08:22):
they're like, you know, either chubby or harry or whatever
categories right, but but but yeah, but the thing is
that it's real and you can relate to it. And
then like when someone was really enjoying it, you're like, Wow,
that's really good sex that I'm watching. Now. Do you
still pay for porn on TV? No? I don't pay
because it's it's all actors. I'm tired of the actor.
How are they making money. How are they making money
(08:43):
as Yeah, somebody watches the ads, ads on all those sides.
Yeah there's new ads now now that you notice the ads,
I have no choice. They pop up, they pop off.
That's not the ads of doing Yeah, all new, all
new ads now, yeah they have video games. All right,
So let's go back to gross. No, let's not you
(09:05):
do something gross. What do you do? I told you
pee in the pool? What is it? Let me do
something basic? Never gross, person, I'm really not. Although you
have fungus growing in your bathroom on your tiles, yeah,
you got to have it recocked. Can Scottie sit? You
want to come over? I was like that, you know
what's gross? And I don't off handsome to you because
(09:28):
it's gross. Every time I drive home on Canal Street
over here, hold on, kind to get your finger out
your nose. It feels so good. There's always a guy
that blows a snot rocket. I'll never not rocket. I'll
never understand that in public too, Like, you're not okay,
it's not rockets. No, that's just that's where you draw
the line. I used to snot rockets when I was
running a lot by. I won't do it because you
(09:51):
could never know if there's something still there. You know,
when you're a runner, you have no choice. You gotta
like hawk or yeah, like you shoot your pants that
time when you're running. I got wait wait, wait, please please.
Gandhi never heard this story, so he ran in the
New York City marathon. Tell tell the story in the
marathon so they you know, I had a lot of
heard the ending. By the way, congratulations by the way
(10:12):
for completing it, because that's a big deal. Okay. So
so I was running and I had a lot of
protein because it was my last one and I just
I didn't know if I trained enough, so I took
a lot more protein than usual. So I was running
around mile I don't know, seventeen or eight. By the way,
taking protein also a category on porn hub. By the way,
a little side note on this. So I'm watching Great
(10:33):
Tea on the tracker and I noticed he stopped for
a very long time at this mile, and I'm I'm like,
oh my god, something happened. So I went to go
fart and it like just came out blasting it like
it was everywhere. What happens. What happens is we know
how it happened. You know how it goes? Oh it's spunge.
(10:58):
So yes, so then so Poland's dude sponge slobs ship hands. Hey, hey,
that guy don't all spring is handing out wet sponges
and all some bottles of water. So I noticed that
I didn't know what to do. I was panicking. I
looked and I saw on the ground was a wet sponge.
So I picked up this wet sponge and I jammed
(11:20):
it right up. I never knew a choice. I never
knew it was a dirty sponge for the ground. What's
the difference he was putting in poop because they were
squeezing it on their heads. That was a sponge, something
like like suinge. And then I jammed. I should see
the guy who took it next. He ran the rest
(11:41):
of the race like that. They got to a to
a porta potty and I had a bottle of water.
And then when what happens with a runner was well,
when a man's running his his his his stuff, it
goes up inside you right so that your body can
t so that your things go the jingle jangle, you
can run. So what happened was I get the porta
(12:02):
potty and I can't find my my thing because it's
all inside. I'm like pulling back skin and pulling back
skin to try to get to it. And I had
to go, and I was cripp and I'm holding onto
both sides of the porta potty and I'm trying to
blast and as I'm like peeing everywhere and the piers
(12:23):
spray against the walls and everything, and I'm like, oh
my god, I had this water and I'm dumbing the
water like all over and try to clean my button everything,
and I'm pouring it into my pants so mixing would sweat.
And I finally pulled all up and then out the
door I go when I finished mile. The thing is
when he thought he was winning the race because for
some reason, no one was behind him. Do you know
(12:44):
that when I sit down on a toilet at JFK
Airport only at JFK Airport Terminal five, my left ball
goes into the water only It's no, it's just those
toilets must be the height must be water it. So
this is this is funny, this is this is this
(13:06):
is not not political. But Matt Whittaker, the guy who
is now the Attorney General, that Tump just put in charge.
One of his jobs before Attorney General was he worked
for companies that invented weird products, and one of them
was the man toilet and it's a deeper toilet, and
the gimmick was your your man prodcs won't hit the water.
I need that, Yeah, so look that up. Bras for
your balls underwear thettle. Yeah, so you can keep your boy.
(13:29):
But I don't like it's going to happen. But yet
you still sit at the same toilet in choice, Why
kids terminal four? Because I'm flying out of terminal five
and I always have to go before I get Okay,
to lean to the right jet Blue Ball. That has
been a fun podcast, left. I think we learned a
(13:52):
lot about how many minivans went right off the road.
Positive if I like respect t Scotty Moore now or disrespecting?
Your voice does sound a little different when you finger jam.
Did you know there's got to be one snowflake who's
listening to this whole fifteen minutes and does not approve
of this podcast? Have you never peen in snow and
(14:13):
then eating at Scotty? Did you sniff it? No? My dog? Okay,
what's scary lyon about you know you've done something gross. No.
I think Garrett, Brody and Scary are all liars. Although,
having having sected that girl that we all called Sasquatch,
that was pretty gross. That was freaking eighteen years ago. Dude,
he's still in the woods and we still remember it.
(14:36):
They still one picture. Squatch got started when we all
went to lunch that day and I was walking behind her.
She was walking up those stairs and she kept slamming
on those stairs and I'm like, that is Sasquatch right there.
That's and then you shot the fifteen minute Morning Show
(15:00):
M
What would you talk about on your on your podcast
Fine Presents. Yeah, I got it. I got a topic
from that. I am appalled, but I don't know for
a lot to talk about it the minute morning show,
(00:23):
but after the big show. This is ten minute window
when we sit here and talk about the most disgusting things,
the most disgusting You win that one one. I don't
have to say, we don't have to say it, but
you want with whatever I have to say. I don't
think that it's disgusting. I think that there's so many
normal things that people do that everybody thinks disgusting. Normal
just don't they don't talk about it? Yeah, I agree.
(00:47):
No one wants to admit everything, like everybody picks their
nose right when no one talks about but everybody does. Okay,
nobody does what you just said you did. Nobody does
that take Do you want me to start with like
a disgusting thing I do to make you feel comfortable?
Hold on? We just we should all sa hello him
Gandhi by than. This is the topic I feel like
(01:08):
is coming here is did you ever take a job
and then you learned crap about your coworker your new
coworkers you had no idea. Yeah, every job I've ever taken,
I've been like, the fun does happen? Okay, So before
you heard what great Tea said? What was the most
What do that you heard? Before what you just heard? Oh,
I'm gonna have to think about that first. You know what,
we can't talk about it. There's a lot of stuff
that happens behind the scenes that we can't talk about.
(01:30):
You say, what job it was? Just tell us the story. Uh, Nope,
I can't do it. Can't do it. It could be bad.
Do you have one? You go first. So I used
to work for Um Chuck E Cheese many many years ago.
I was a manager many years ago, and it was
a franchise, which means a guy, two guys owned the
(01:52):
franchise and his wife got drunk one day and I
don't know what we're to part. We found out that
he like to have sex with cantaloupes. What like he
would I don't know what he did, but he would
put he would put a hole in the candle open
and then and then he would he would do it
(02:12):
to the candle ope, and then he enjoyed having his
wife then eat the candle Oope. That sounds strange, but
you don't not compare to what but that's up there,
that's up there, that's up there is what they called.
But everything sounds strange, but you don't know if it's
really that strange. So you try it, and then let's
(02:32):
say you do try. Okay, somebody get me a candle. Oop.
I think if we pull if we pulled in like
Scotty Be, all of the interns and we asked them
the question of what what you said? I think not
one person does it. Asking Scotty B is not fair.
Scotty B is the king of crazy weird ship, but
not Okay, I'm not gonna taint it. Scotty B plays waterfall.
(02:55):
Do we just do? I just ask the question, okay,
Scotty Be. Have you ever shipped in the shower hour
and shoved it down the drain with your feet? No,
that's a great tea thing, Okay, I have. There's been
more than one occasion where I've tried really hard to
do it in the ocean because I want to see
what it feels like. My body won't allow it. Why
do you want to feel like what? I don't know.
(03:15):
I just think it'd be fool it's just free gold fish. Yeah.
I mean I've never gotten out of a pool in
my life. By the way, if you took it, if
you took a dump in the ocean and a shark
was attracted eight you, I'd be finally hold on a
sitting pools. No, no no, no, no, no no, no, I
think it who I I won't get out of the
(03:36):
pool to pe. I only pee in pools. You're never
coming to my house. I p in pools on a
regular on your own house. The filter. I think we
found that common ground here. Scary pet in pools before,
but not I don't make a habit of it. But
you pet pools. It's not my own. Also, you have
(03:57):
totally totally pet pool um. When we're talking about like
picking your nose, sometimes I really get enjoyment out of
picking picking the booker off my nose rain because then
I can breathe like completely differently, welogy, that is not
where's the shooting in the shower and shoving it down
(04:19):
with your t It's got to go down the drain.
Where are you thinking it goes? Anyway? Comes that we're
talking about two others that I do A three actually
have we got baby four. I don't know here it's
not that gross, but like once a month, you really
need to get into your belly button with a cute tip.
Sniff it. Oh no, yes, until the sni You twirl
(04:42):
it until it hurts your brain and then you see
all the chunks on it and you snip it, and
then what are your belly tonight? You'll see when you
get out of this. That's what I have a dog for.
When you get when you get out of the shower,
put a cute tip in your belly button twirlet and
you'll see what comes out, I promise you. And also,
but why have to stuff comes out? Yes, get out,
(05:02):
so you go from belly button to nose and then
what you throw it out right after? And throw it
out and my dog eats it out of the garbage.
I just cut out the middle man. Yeah. And then
when you cut your big toe oil after it's been
there for I don't know however, sniff it because it's
always getting under it. Yes, you have smells like cheesebly,
but if you know it smells like cheese, why do
you smell? It's satisfying the big toe now? And then
(05:27):
I've used the in between my teeth. You this hooks
and it gets right up in there most at all. Right,
hold on you, Scotty, you named two things, you said
you had at least three or four. Yeah, Well, I
like to watch people vomit. I think it's funny people.
(05:50):
Have you gone? Have you gone on YouTube and typed
in vomit videos and vomit videos? By the way, you're
going to enjoy that about already seconds if these stories
keep going for I can't smell it, though, but I
can watch it. What if I vomited in your belly button?
That'd be a lot to take out. By the way,
that's what the candaloupe was involving. So Scotty and Daniel
(06:12):
vomits around here? Is that like every time of Tea
does a bit where he drinks some ship. I laughed hysterically. Pants,
I love it so much. All right, that's three in
your pants? Do you smell it to make sure you
have peace healthy? Yes? So you're a sniffer of things.
I also, you know, you know, I did have that website,
but I never used it, Strange Shape Poop dot Com,
because I'm I love strange shaped poops. Like there's that's
(06:35):
why I said Scott. I'm telling you there's one time
where I got up and it was a z I
swear to talking about dedication. How did that happen? Other
people must have this, that's right. Wait, I feel exposed
in tea and you, Garrett Brody and Scary haven't said
anything grows that they do. I would say the grossest thing.
I would just pee in pools. I was in pools
(06:55):
most of my life, and I would just I didn't
want to get out and I was just being pools
things I don't know. I don't really have much they
know about being in pools. I was a competitive swimmer,
so I would pee in the pool. But the problem
is coming back on the other end, so I would
end up swimming in my own p so but it's
diluted by that. Okay and chlorine. Somebody's firing us some
(07:17):
topic ideas for the fifteen minute morning show, because I
really like this one and I want to know more
about Scotty Be because I feel like the things he's mentioning.
Keep going categories on porn. I can't do it anymore. Yeah,
the categories Scotty Be dropped down. There can't take about
(07:38):
porn up those things. They're all actors, like it's not fun,
but are amateurs that want to be watched? But a
hold on, he said, a lot of them are. I'm
an amateur. That means they don't get paid by a
porn company, but their professional fake amateurs. I think there's
(07:58):
definitely it's from what I hear people who have done
things at their house and it's a bit at it,
Like I type in, like you know, and then yes,
let's talk about our porn searches, and you get like
you get like real people, you know, like from wherever
they're doing it, like in a hotel room or the Yeah,
because that's real. And then when the chick vomits, that's
so great. And their bodies are not like gorgeous bodies,
(08:22):
they're like, you know, either chubby or harry or whatever
categories right, but but but yeah, but the thing is
that it's real and you can relate to it. And
then like when someone was really enjoying it, you're like, Wow,
that's really good sex that I'm watching. Now. Do you
still pay for porn on TV? No? I don't pay
because it's it's all actors. I'm tired of the actor.
How are they making money. How are they making money
(08:43):
as Yeah, somebody watches the ads, ads on all those sides.
Yeah there's new ads now now that you notice the ads,
I have no choice. They pop up, they pop off.
That's not the ads of doing Yeah, all new, all
new ads now, yeah they have video games. All right,
So let's go back to gross. No, let's not you
(09:05):
do something gross. What do you do? I told you
pee in the pool? What is it? Let me do
something basic? Never gross, person, I'm really not. Although you
have fungus growing in your bathroom on your tiles, yeah,
you got to have it recocked. Can Scottie sit? You
want to come over? I was like that, you know
what's gross? And I don't off handsome to you because
(09:28):
it's gross. Every time I drive home on Canal Street
over here, hold on, kind to get your finger out
your nose. It feels so good. There's always a guy
that blows a snot rocket. I'll never not rocket. I'll
never understand that in public too, Like, you're not okay,
it's not rockets. No, that's just that's where you draw
the line. I used to snot rockets when I was
running a lot by. I won't do it because you
(09:51):
could never know if there's something still there. You know,
when you're a runner, you have no choice. You gotta
like hawk or yeah, like you shoot your pants that
time when you're running. I got wait wait, wait, please please.
Gandhi never heard this story, so he ran in the
New York City marathon. Tell tell the story in the
marathon so they you know, I had a lot of
heard the ending. By the way, congratulations by the way
(10:12):
for completing it, because that's a big deal. Okay. So
so I was running and I had a lot of
protein because it was my last one and I just
I didn't know if I trained enough, so I took
a lot more protein than usual. So I was running
around mile I don't know, seventeen or eight. By the way,
taking protein also a category on porn hub. By the way,
a little side note on this. So I'm watching Great
(10:33):
Tea on the tracker and I noticed he stopped for
a very long time at this mile, and I'm I'm like,
oh my god, something happened. So I went to go
fart and it like just came out blasting it like
it was everywhere. What happens. What happens is we know
how it happened. You know how it goes? Oh it's spunge.
(10:58):
So yes, so then so Poland's dude sponge slobs ship hands. Hey, hey,
that guy don't all spring is handing out wet sponges
and all some bottles of water. So I noticed that
I didn't know what to do. I was panicking. I
looked and I saw on the ground was a wet sponge.
So I picked up this wet sponge and I jammed
(11:20):
it right up. I never knew a choice. I never
knew it was a dirty sponge for the ground. What's
the difference he was putting in poop because they were
squeezing it on their heads. That was a sponge, something
like like suinge. And then I jammed. I should see
the guy who took it next. He ran the rest
(11:41):
of the race like that. They got to a to
a porta potty and I had a bottle of water.
And then when what happens with a runner was well,
when a man's running his his his his stuff, it
goes up inside you right so that your body can
t so that your things go the jingle jangle, you
can run. So what happened was I get the porta
(12:02):
potty and I can't find my my thing because it's
all inside. I'm like pulling back skin and pulling back
skin to try to get to it. And I had
to go, and I was cripp and I'm holding onto
both sides of the porta potty and I'm trying to
blast and as I'm like peeing everywhere and the piers
(12:23):
spray against the walls and everything, and I'm like, oh
my god, I had this water and I'm dumbing the
water like all over and try to clean my button everything,
and I'm pouring it into my pants so mixing would sweat.
And I finally pulled all up and then out the
door I go when I finished mile. The thing is
when he thought he was winning the race because for
some reason, no one was behind him. Do you know
(12:44):
that when I sit down on a toilet at JFK
Airport only at JFK Airport Terminal five, my left ball
goes into the water only It's no, it's just those
toilets must be the height must be water it. So
this is this is funny, this is this is this
(13:06):
is not not political. But Matt Whittaker, the guy who
is now the Attorney General, that Tump just put in charge.
One of his jobs before Attorney General was he worked
for companies that invented weird products, and one of them
was the man toilet and it's a deeper toilet, and
the gimmick was your your man prodcs won't hit the water.
I need that, Yeah, so look that up. Bras for
your balls underwear thettle. Yeah, so you can keep your boy.
(13:29):
But I don't like it's going to happen. But yet
you still sit at the same toilet in choice, Why
kids terminal four? Because I'm flying out of terminal five
and I always have to go before I get Okay,
to lean to the right jet Blue Ball. That has
been a fun podcast, left. I think we learned a
(13:52):
lot about how many minivans went right off the road.
Positive if I like respect t Scotty Moore now or disrespecting?
Your voice does sound a little different when you finger jam.
Did you know there's got to be one snowflake who's
listening to this whole fifteen minutes and does not approve
of this podcast? Have you never peen in snow and
(14:13):
then eating at Scotty? Did you sniff it? No? My dog? Okay,
what's scary lyon about you know you've done something gross. No.
I think Garrett, Brody and Scary are all liars. Although,
having having sected that girl that we all called Sasquatch,
that was pretty gross. That was freaking eighteen years ago. Dude,
he's still in the woods and we still remember it.
(14:36):
They still one picture. Squatch got started when we all
went to lunch that day and I was walking behind her.
She was walking up those stairs and she kept slamming
on those stairs and I'm like, that is Sasquatch right there.
That's and then you shot the fifteen minute Morning Show
(15:00):
M
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