No Good Friends - 1012

On this episode of The Thought Shower, Intern John recaps his last week. Plus, how to know if a friendship isn't worth it

Every week Intern John discusses adulting, dating, radio life, and more! You can follow Intern John on social media: @InternJohnRadio. You can listen to past episodes at TheThoughtShower.com

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
And a happy Wednesday friend. Welcome to the Thought Shower intern.
John is my name. It has been a week, so
to speak, since last time I talked to you. Real quick,
let's walk through it. So on last Thursday, Jimmy's Famous
Seafood had their fiftieth anniversary gala, which was an honored
be invited to. I've known John in the and the

(00:23):
fan for about four years now, great group of folks was.
It was powerful. You know, John's dad came over fifty
years ago started Jimmy's. He passed away about twenty five
years ago. John his brother took over and made it
into the you know, absolute monster that it is now.
And you know hear him talk about having to deal

(00:45):
with the power being shut off and not being on
the forward trash when they first started. And the host
of the evening was very good mentioned that he called
like the center of Statistics and labor and they don't
keep track of how many businesses make it fifty years
because it's so rare. So it was a very cool event.
It was very cool to be there Saturday. That's some crabs,

(01:06):
my buddy, shame, but not the usual like Maryland crab.
This is like occasion spin On if you will, one
of those places where they sell like the plastic bag
full of seafood if you don't know, I think they
broil it with like spices and that kind of thing,
and they sell like these almost trash bags where it's
like crabs and clams and mussels and corn and very good,

(01:32):
just different. So did that on Saturday. On Sunday, I
was planning to have a nice chill evening but went
out and saw a Marshmallow at Equoi Stage. Marshmallow, huge DJ.
I've had a chance to see him a few times
before jingle Ball, Capitol Pride, other various things. It was
a lot of fun. It was a great weekend. It
was a tiring weekend, but a fun weekend. And this

(01:55):
coming weekend actually my next few weekends. It's I mean
it's over, dude. It's it's about to get crazy, you know.
This coming weekend, the show goes to Orlando, Florida, broadcasting
live from Orlando for Halloween Horror Nights, which I'm very
excited about. I've always seen the Hollywood Horror Nights like
on TV and the commercials. It looks so amazing. I'm

(02:18):
excited to go and be a part of it. Then
it's the Ravens home opener and weekend after that, and
then I have a wedding the weekend after that, So
a lot going on. My restaurant that I'm involved with opens,
I believe next week. It's just a lot going on. Man.
I'm happy to be here. I feel rested, feel energized.
Hopefully you do as well. I have got only like

(02:39):
two weddings the next two months. So the one two
weeks is in Sea Isle, New Jersey. Very excited for
a good friend of mine, Buster and his wife. Excited
to do that. That's an more of a radio wedding,
which is fun for me because radio events like that
a lot of times for us is our chance to
see folks we don't see often or even I'm gonna
see folks that I've never met in person before, but

(03:02):
I've been fans of and just followed through just radio.
And then in November got a wedding in Mexico. So
we're all over the place. We're doing it, we're vibing,
we're enjoying things. Hopefully again you are as well. Can't
thank you enough for listening, for hanging Sorry took Friday
out no Friday, took Monday off, took Monday off, was

(03:25):
gonna do a podcast, but then Sunday I didn't get
home until probably like one thirty two o'clock from Marshmallow,
and Monday was what we call wash. One of those
days where you wake up and you basically sleep in
different parts of your house, like that's what you do.
Like I woke up from my bed, went down the couch,

(03:45):
slept in the couch, went back to the bed, back
to the couch. That was kind of the vibe. One
of those days where it was lost, but for a
good reason. So want to get to this too for
your Wednesday? Are you surrounding yourself with the wrong people?
I have been a lucky I think through trial and error,
certainly I have a really good circle. I have a

(04:06):
really good circle of people who I can trust, I
can collaborate with. And there's always the notion, you know,
your net worth is your network or vice versa. I
think that's true. I think that's a really, really true
that I have been very blessed that with all the
areas of life that I have, there's good people there. Obviously,

(04:27):
good people with the show got good people with TV
got good people with coaching, hockey, good people with comedy.
Very blessed. If you feel drained, not energized after dealing
with your friends one hundred percent, they say, you spend
the day with your friends. Instead of feeling like you
had a blast, you feel like you've run a marathon,
and not in a good way. Yeah. And I think

(04:48):
there's a difference between you're with your friends and you
guys did a lot of stuff right, because you can
still be tired but know you had a good time.
Like you go to a concert, or you go to
like Disney for a day or like a fair. You're
gonna be tired, but you know you had a good time,
versus when you're in a bad conversation and it's just

(05:10):
a draining, two completely different feelings. One hundred percent. Your
friends should be gassing you up. You should be excited
to go see your friends. It shouldn't be a I
have to go see this person again. Yeah, they're all
taking no give Yeah, they say, think about the last
few times you've hung out. Were you the shoulder to
cry on, the advice giver of the planner, the cheerleader,

(05:33):
all rolled in one when you need them, though? Do
they suddenly have a million excuses. Now, I do think
it's important to be those things for your friends every
now and then, right when they need a shoulder to
cry on, so forth. But the idea of yeah, they're
around when things are good, but when things are bad, ooh,
can't help them, you know, can't help them, I think

(05:57):
that's a huge sign. I think friends should want to
be there for each other. And if your friends aren't there,
they aren't your friends hummy and that's not bad things
means cut bait, go somewhere else. If there's no effort
to understand you, they say, do your friends take the
time they get to know you or do they just
assume and never ask. If they're not making an effort
to understand your perspective on life, it's not a true connection.

(06:20):
Friends should be curious about who you are and what
matters to you. I think that's true. I mean that's
the funny thing again, Like it sounds so simple to say,
but a friendship is a relationship just like romantic relationship.
It's got to be nurtured, it has to be supported,
it has to grow. I do think that's why a
lot of friendships fall out. It's because there's no growth.

(06:41):
You know, you can't stay the same people forever. You
gotta you know, evolve. As the kids say, if you
feel your goals aren't supported, yeah, I mean your friends
are supposed to be You're cheerleaders, you know. They say.
If you share a dream and he didn't feel like
you got a high five, it was met with like,
oh yeah, dude, Because I think that the friendship should

(07:05):
be a safe place where you can go to them
with an idea. You know, I did all the time
with like my friends. I'll balance ideas off of them
for various things. And if I felt like I couldn't
do that number one, I go crazy, you know what
I mean. But then it's just kind of like who
do I go? Do I trust? If I can't trust
my friends with this stuff, who do I go to?

(07:26):
If you feel judged, not accepted one hundred percent, if
you're wanting an eggshell, scared to make a wrong move,
maybe say the wrong thing. It's like being in a
friendship Minefield. I think this goes back to feeling drained.
This goes back to like you can say I've I've
said the wrong thing with a friend, or the wrong

(07:47):
things come out and like it's been okay. Do you
know what I mean, Like you misspeak or something doesn't
come out like you intended it to, and it's been okay.
If you feel like you're constantly gonna make your friend
mad at you did, life's too short. Life's too short
for that kind of stuff, you know, especially because your
friend is supposed to know you too, so they should

(08:09):
know your intent. You would never try to hurt them
or make them feel bad. If it feels like peer
pressure central, they say, just hanging out with your friends,
feel like you're being constantly nudged out of your comfort zone,
not in a good way. Yeah, if you're being threatened
to go, not being threatened to being pressure to do
things against your values. One hundred percent. I think that
goes back to, like, your real friends know you. So

(08:31):
if my friends were doing something, let's say extracurricular, I
think at this point they would know not to even
ask me, just because that's just not my vibe. Like,
I don't judge do whatever you want, This is not
for me, and they wouldn't judge me for it either. Yeah,
they wouldn't hold it against me or try to make
me feel guilty. Last one, I'll get to if you're

(08:52):
not growing and this I went back to this a
little bit ago, but if you feel stagnant or like
you're aggressing when you're with your friends, it might be
time for a change. I think I've been very blessed
with that where you know, we talked about my my
buddy Dante, who I coach with, and how he's talked
about it when he's been on the show. We push

(09:12):
each other like in a it's like a friendly competition
of like, Okay, he he's ahead right now as he
is starting the first HBCU college hockey team. He's ahead now,
but I'll have to win up him though, And like
that that kind of friendly competition which ties into their

(09:32):
last one. I know, I said that was my last one.
They don't celebrate your successes. That to me is the
coolest thing about friendship. Like when Dante, when I find
out he was going to the NHL, it's sorry to cry.
I was just so excited for him. I love celebrating
my friend's success, like I almost like it more than
my success because it's like you're a fan. You know,
it's somebody you've watched, You've seen the struggle and to

(09:53):
see them break through. It's very exciting. When Sauce won
a Radio Host of the Year, I was very excited.
As a friend. It was it's cool to see her
accomplish her dreams. I think if you don't have that,
life's too short for bad friends and bad alcohol. That's
what I always say. I hope you have a great Wednesday.
If you get a chance to listen to the morning show,
you can search interns John in your morning show wherever

(10:14):
you get your podcasts, or follow me at Internjohn Radio.
We'll see you on Friday.