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October 9, 2024 21 mins
Well, really just the kids. Both parents? 🪦🪦
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Did you and Scott have a discussion of if God
forbid something happens to us, where do we want the
kids to go?

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (00:09):
Right?

Speaker 1 (00:10):
And who? I know it wasn't me, but who who?
Was it?

Speaker 2 (00:13):
My sister?

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Right? And obviously nothing nothing had happened, thank god? Was
there any discussion of what that was going to look like?
What do you mean does Marlee go live with her?
Does she move here? Or was it just you're in
charge you figure it out?

Speaker 4 (00:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (00:35):
I mean she is Virginia, so yeah, okay, Well, I
mean what if she moves then.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
I guess Marley at that point would have gone to where.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
She was, right, Okay, you would, thank you. I mean
who knows? Thank god, we don't have to find out exactly.

Speaker 4 (00:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Did you and Lindsay do the same until we did
the wills?

Speaker 4 (00:56):
But then we talked about it. Of course it's in
the will?

Speaker 1 (00:59):
Right, So if God forbid something happened and they're still
young enough that they wouldn't kind of live on their own, correct?

Speaker 4 (01:08):
I know you moved away, so I don't know if
they could hold down the fort by themselves at ages
thirteen and ten?

Speaker 1 (01:15):
Can I can I ask? Where?

Speaker 6 (01:16):
Where?

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Where they would go my mom to your to your
mom's house, right and again, which.

Speaker 4 (01:21):
She fought back on. Then she really she thought she
was too old then for that responsibility.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Have you updated it?

Speaker 4 (01:27):
She asked us in ten years to revisit that, and
she really has not been ten years.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Because what do most people just say, yeah, sure, I'll
do it right. The only Jackie and I were very clear,
like we did it. I can't did they go to sam?
I can't remember where my kids were gonna go if
God forbid something happened to Jackie, Jackie and I and
thank god nothing happened. I think. At one point Jackie

(01:59):
sister asked us, and this was before we had kids,
asked us for her kids about if something happens, would
we watch them or would we take them? You don't
watch them, you're not babysitting, you're own them. And we
were like yeah, and she was like, so you guys
would move to Houston and we were like, uh, you

(02:20):
do what now? Go get someone else because we.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Weren't didn't want them to be uprooted.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Correct, Yeah, yeah, what about your own children? Say again,
I didn't have kids yet, but if.

Speaker 4 (02:32):
You had them, it was just like, well you guys
will just have to come here no matter what.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Well, I think she only had something you're well, I
think she had thought only something would happen to her
prior to us having kids, because that was all she
cared about, as well, you guys will come to Texas
And I was like, no, I don't know. Are they
moving the are they moving the radio station there? Because
this is where I work?

Speaker 4 (02:54):
Was she filling out paperwork? Was this going to be documented?

Speaker 1 (02:56):
I have no idea.

Speaker 5 (02:58):
It can't make that a tippy relation without making sure
that somebody agrees to that. You can't just spring that
on somebody.

Speaker 1 (03:07):
This is going to be an awkward question. Kristen, Can
you find me somebody who's had to take on that role?
And that's where the downer part comes because obviously that
means some kids parents have died, right, And again, that's
horrible and that's sad, But that's why you do these things, right.

(03:27):
It's like, why do you buy insurance, Kristin, Will you
find me somebody who's had to take on somebody else's
kids because of the death of their parents. Please? I
used to think I'd be great for that, and then

(03:49):
I read a story and what did you read so well. First,
so somebody who's had to take on somebody else's kids
because the parents died again. And I even hate that
coming out of my mouth eight six six to Elliott
eight six six two three five five four six eight.
So you're ready for this because you want to think

(04:12):
you're doing a good thing right now? You are the
well you tell me, I'm reading you ready, My sister,
this is a woman. My sister asked me to be
the legal guardian for each of her children, who an
eleven year old female and a ten year old man

(04:34):
male now when she was pregnant, and I agreed without hesitation.
At the time, I was young. I was twenty three
when the oldest was born, and I was single. I
lived about an hour away from them, and I figured,
if I need to step in as their guardian and
I didn't have my own family established in the area,

(04:55):
I would move to them so that the kids entire
lives wouldn't to be uprooted in the wake of their
parents' deaths.

Speaker 4 (05:02):
That's what you were asked to do.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah, yeah, that's what Jackie and I were asked to do. Yeah.
I'm a teacher in a high demand subject, so the
ability to find a new job in a slightly different
area isn't of concern. When I started going out with
my now husband five years ago, I made sure he
was aware of my agreement with my sister and my

(05:26):
intent to fulfill it if he needed which date. He
had no issue with it. By the way, I thought
the same thing. Oh my gosh, who said, Hey, why
are you telling your that I like Jack Daniels My
hours are a little bit weird. Oh and by the way,

(05:47):
just throw this out there. If something happens to my sister,
I'm fulfilling her wishes that I'm the guardian of her son.
Like you know what I mean, Like, that's an awkward
thing to say. I would have been, like I thought
we were just gonna like maybe shower together and have sex.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Chicken Country.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
About six months ago, my sister and her hut here's
the down. About six months ago, my sister and her
husband were killed in a car accident. My husband and
I moved into their house with the kids. I did
the hour commute back to work to finish out the
school year. A retirement opened up in a position in

(06:31):
their district for this year, which I moved into. My
husband now has a forty minute commute instead of twenty minutes.
It is also more difficult for him to go to
his regular social functions as they were in the opposite
direction of where we moved. He says this is not

(06:51):
sustainable and that we need to go back into our house,
which we own. I, on the other hand, think we
need to sell our house house. It's in a great neighborhood, whatever,
and have proposed also selling my sister's house and maybe
buying a new house in my niece and nephew's school district,

(07:12):
but as close to the line as we can, that's
closer to our old house. I feel like they have
already lost so much that moving them away from their
close knit community and friends would be unnecessarily cruel. If
we had kids of our own that we were also
established in a district, it would be different. But we don't.

(07:34):
My husband says no. He says kids are resilient and
they'll adjust to a new place.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
I was elliott on.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
He's basically issued an ultimatum that we either go back
to our previous house as a family or just he
is going back for me, that means we're divorcing. Am
I being unreasonable? To carry out exactly what I laid
out as my plan five or more years ago. I

(08:11):
can answer that you're being unreasonable of I gotta sell,
I gotta sell two houses by another one.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
Moving to get him closer to work.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
And you know, do you realize the angel that I
am being? And listen, it's out of the great it's
out of the greatness of your heart. You're gonna You're
gonna raise these kids. There's there's a lot of finance
involved in that. There's a lot of like my, my
whole life just got flipped upside down. Keep in mind

(08:48):
I just lost my sibling. Yes, they lost their parents.
I'm not diminishing that we'll make friends.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
I also feel, with the rest of the story as
it was laid out, that she's not being honest about
telling him when they started dating. I think that is
thrown in there.

Speaker 1 (09:13):
Nobody tells people that when they start dating.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
That is so you feel as if, oh, you knew
this from John new from day one.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
There's no way, by the way, even if I knew
from day one. No, no, I'm being serious. You know
what my answer would be, that was six years ago,
and I played the answer. No, No, that was six
years ago. Life changes in six years, true, Like I

(09:42):
believe I know what the rest of my week is.
Like if I got fired today, life changes. That's not
even six years. That is tomorrow. So don't don't hold
me to that now again, would I be respectful? And
maybe not, you know, move out of the maybe.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
So they they've done it for how long now?

Speaker 1 (10:06):
A year? A full year? Yeah, they've had them for
a year, and.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
I the only thing, So does does the husband think
he's done enough of his part? Because he, I guess
tolerated it is the word. He tolerated it for a year.

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Yeah. It sounds like he's not very supportive. Well, I am.
I move with you for a year. I'm raising these kids.
I also own that house. Yeah, like, let's just let's
go back to where we were and we'll take these
kids with us. He's not saying let's give up on
the kids.

Speaker 4 (10:43):
Right, but because but also are we are we too quick?

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Well? Two things? Number one? Do these things need to
get revisited regularly? Sounds like it like this has been
six years. I'm not saying every month you got to
update it? And are people too quick to say yes?
Like you feel like you're doing the right. Well, A,
it's never gonna happen. B, Well, how do I tell

(11:09):
my sister I'm not taking the kids? Like? Are you
really better off? Saying no?

Speaker 4 (11:14):
Did you say was this all agreed to with a
legal framework?

Speaker 1 (11:19):
No? You know what it was? Yeah, of course it
wasn't like Jackie's sister wasn't drafted up paperwork? No, will
you do this? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (11:29):
Well mine is.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah. See, but you said you didn't do it until
the will. But a lot of people do it, like
even when they're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
I can get that. I understand that. But so you
want people to not only have it conduct this exchanged
with an attorney, you also want them to.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Oh I don't care if there's an attorney involved.

Speaker 4 (11:51):
It helps with it being a binding. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
No, no, But like if I went to if I
went to Scott Shannon and I was like, Scott, will
you watch the kids if I die? And he was like,
as you will, agg and then Scott got fired and
moved away, I'd be like, oh, well that's not good.
Let me update. Hey, Rick, would you watch them? Oh? Yes,
I'd love to. You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (12:15):
So you just mean you need to move update your
own plan that you have the right person at the
right time.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Yes, as things change, so you.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
Like that my mom, and it hasn't been ten years yet.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Very smart, but she I would say, your mom waited
ten years is too long.

Speaker 4 (12:33):
At the time, she thought she was the wrong person.

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Yes, well, and she should have said no. She thought
she was the wrong thing.

Speaker 4 (12:39):
She even said, would they move here? And I was like, yeah,
they're resilient. She asked that question.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
No, then she's very smart.

Speaker 4 (12:47):
If we have to move no, no, no.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
No, no, no, take them down there. No, your mother's
very smart.

Speaker 4 (12:52):
I don't care.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
The only the only thing that your mother should have
done was either say no, because you said even then
she was like, I think I'm too old. She should
have shortened the review time or just said no.

Speaker 4 (13:05):
Well. The way that she did try to get out
of it, too was she said, well, won't Lindsey's parents
be offended?

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Oh? You know, it's funny because Jackie said that. What
Sam said, is Jackie going to be pissed? What did
you go with?

Speaker 4 (13:20):
Well, I gave her the honest answer, and that was
that they already have two sisters worth of families that
they are speaking for. Should the unthinkable happen.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
That's not what I went with.

Speaker 4 (13:32):
So we want if all three sisters ago, they're gonna
have three sets of kids.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
Sam said, isn't Jackie going to be insulted? And I said,
you're more responsible than any of Jackie's friends.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Plays into it.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
I've met Jackie's friends. Hi, Elliot the morning?

Speaker 6 (13:56):
Is this me?

Speaker 5 (13:56):
Yeah? Hi?

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Who's this?

Speaker 6 (13:59):
This is job?

Speaker 1 (14:00):
Hey? You had this set up with somebody?

Speaker 6 (14:04):
Uh, it's kind of well, it happened. Basically, I had
to set up with my sister and there was no
lawyer or nothing. It was a verbal agreement, of course.
So but my nephew his his dad was a little older.
They weren't together. He passed away, and then about two
years later, my sister passed away, so I took in.

(14:26):
I adopted my nephew. So it kind of it worked
out the opposite way.

Speaker 1 (14:32):
But did the nephew move with you?

Speaker 6 (14:36):
Yes, he moved into my house, but it wasn't a
big deal. She lived eight houses down.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
From Again, I refuse, I refuse to focus on the
downer part. You know what, though, we kept doing the
uh yeah, no, no, that's great. I mean, you're you're
fortunate like that.

Speaker 4 (14:56):
Yes, we kept imagining the scenario in which both parents
when at the same time.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, well, ultimately you got to get rid of both
of them before you get the kid.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
But I never was thinking, oh, one ghost then a
year's so, yeah, passes in another.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
No, no, you think him at the same time, just
to get to the end of the story quicker. But
it wasn't like I said, oh, well, you know what, Sam,
if Jackie dies, you take the kids. But I'm still alive.
But I got to get back out there and get single.

Speaker 4 (15:22):
If you're in this original story and you're the husband
and you were supposedly told about this when they first
started dating, if your wife went first.

Speaker 2 (15:32):
And then it's just you.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
I never signed that agreement.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
Why are you throwing your hands up like you're getting
a summons.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I never I never signed that agreement. That was her,
That was her deal, not mine. Also, wouldn't that be weird,
like if like for like Jackie and I were for
Jackie's sister, if Jackie died, like if they're if their
parents died and Jackie's not with me anymore, you're the uncle.

Speaker 5 (15:53):
Yeah, he doesn't think he's the my marriage.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
I'm not even married to the person anymore dead.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
To say I got stuff to do.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, no, no, no, don't send them to me dating
the attorney that drafted this up. By the way, if
God forbid, if something happened to Jackie and the boys
were young and I had either had to send them
to my sister or her sister, they're going to my son.
They're going to my family, not hers. I'm not even
related to them anymore. Okay, we've been over that before. Well,

(16:25):
it's true. That's why they say by marriage, not married anymore. Hi,
Ellie in the morning.

Speaker 4 (16:32):
Is this me? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (16:33):
Hi?

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Who's this?

Speaker 3 (16:35):
This is Bianca. So my parents did this for my
now brother when he was like five and I was
really little, and so they were all really young. So
it was my mom's sister who passed away, and there
was no like no one owned a house, like everybody
was renting, and so there wasn't a choice to like
move in where he was. But they made sure that

(16:58):
he went to this dame school he was at for
at least a year and like the same babysitter, Like
they drove far to make sure he's stayed in his
like but is it.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
Can I ask you this and listen. I understand the
the the the focuses the kids, right, I do understand that,
But is it is that a little bit of too
much of an ask like keep them healthy, get them help,
help support them, if if if they need counseling, make
sure they're fed, make sure they're clothed, make sure they're

(17:27):
getting an education. Like that, that's the ask. Why does
the education have to be in that school with that babysitter.

Speaker 5 (17:35):
They've already had their worlds turned up side down? Do
you need to add more to it?

Speaker 1 (17:42):
You remember, it's also my family member that died, right, Like,
why am I giving? Yes, we all want calm and
carry on.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
But you're the adult again, you're the adult who is.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Now tasked with this unbelievable job.

Speaker 3 (18:01):
I think that that woman needs to ditch that guy
because he seems like a brat, like he's not even
willing to to meet in the middle.

Speaker 5 (18:09):
And for a year, they're going for you, they're going
to get divorced for a year.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Then you know what, grown man, They grow up, friend,
you grow up, You fine new friends.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
Or you can see you'll see him less.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Times is an epidemic.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
You'll see him less often. No big deal.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Well, that is a big deal.

Speaker 4 (18:30):
Elliot's friends mean a lot to him.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yes, but but you I'm.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Giving my kids to friends. He's not family.

Speaker 2 (18:36):
You shouldn't have agreed to it.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
Then I was trying to take a shower and have sex.
The thank you.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
Yes, I don't want to say the name because she's
a little bit of a public figure.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Boo.

Speaker 4 (18:54):
But the message says getting my will done on Friday.
Oh no, the brother in law still doesn't know he's
getting the kids.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
Oh my god, Wait, how do you just write that.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
In wouldn't you have liked Now we're at forty eight
hours before I'm assuming their meeting with a lawyer. Wouldn't
you want a heads up before two days out?

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (19:17):
Yes, and have time to maybe think about that role.
Should the worst happen, you.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Have to wait.

Speaker 5 (19:24):
You may have said where you put that in writing?
You have to let them know on X before you've
told me.

Speaker 1 (19:29):
I was just listening to the funny you asked me,
I was listening to the radio this morning. This may
be a bad idea. I may not be the right person.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Yeah, so again I'm not saying who it is.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
Can I ask this also? Is it? Does this come
up in like if so, let let's say, let's just say,
for an argument's sake, you and Lindsay are getting divorced
and there's a nasty custody battle, but it's in the will.
Does that get the does that get jacked up?

Speaker 7 (20:01):
Like?

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Do couples fight over that?

Speaker 4 (20:03):
Anything?

Speaker 1 (20:04):
That's true?

Speaker 4 (20:05):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Yes, get the pillows?

Speaker 2 (20:09):
Yes, pillows and children?

Speaker 1 (20:11):
Elliot by too real quick, Hi Ellie in the morning.
H yeah, go real quick.

Speaker 7 (20:21):
Okay, I'm a godmom. I was handed custody of my
god sign in college with no notice.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
No notice in college college.

Speaker 7 (20:31):
Yeah, it turns off the souse doesn't really look into
things too carefully. So anyway, it all turned out. Well,
we still got him.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
But were were you still living in the dorm? Yeah,
you hid the kid in your dorm? Well you were
in college.

Speaker 7 (20:46):
It was just like six months and all my teachers
just thought I was baby sitting, so they let me
bring him to class. For one teacher.

Speaker 6 (20:54):
Freaking seb.

Speaker 7 (20:59):
But everybody is cool with it. It worked out.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Oh my god. If I showed up to see my
kid and I was like, Hey, why's Cooper got a
kid in here, I'd be like this is odd.

Speaker 7 (21:11):
Oh my God, nobody questioned me. In hindsight, it was
a little weird that nobody questioned a little weird.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
Come on,
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