One young man’s dream of playing professional Fularg wreaks havoc on his parents plans and dreams… Two policeman raid a home where children have charged a bully with war crimes against the school…
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your host,
Kevin Polo guests that Kevin Polock. Well, I do and
I don't, but I digress. I'm so very happy to
welcome you all to another episode of Alcomy. There, let's
meet today's Alcome in the show. We in no particular orders.
Say hello to Chris Aperodo. Hi everybody, Chris, you wish
(00:23):
you were here If an eighth day of the week
we're added and called Someday. How would you spend your
someday m with a loved one? Yeah? Hi, did lady?
It's Carla Katkowski for me. Carlo. What are your summer plans? Carla,
(00:45):
summer plans are sleep napping? My favorite? Whoa, there's Vanessa
Ragland Venetian. Do you believe dreams do come true? It
can happen to you when you're young at heart. I
have horrible dreams. Ding dong, the witch is dead and
(01:07):
Mark Gagliardi brought us her slippers. That's right, mark your calendars.
What's your favorite birthday present ever? My favorite birthday present
ever is a thumb drive. I was given with ten
thousand photos of my family dating back to Good Lord.
You have the best friends in the world, or who
(01:27):
gave that to you? My dad? Correct, that's what I
have here, your father. And last up, but up your
nose with a hose made of highly elastic solid substance
polymerized by the drying and coagulation of the latex or
milky juice of rubber trees. If you think him leaves,
it's James Heeny, James Dean. When a man loves a woman,
why can't he keep his mind on nothing else? Nothing else?
(01:52):
Oh God, I guess it's because you need to plot
and plan to capture that woman to keep forever? Is that?
What's your paper? Is that? Right? That is exactly what
way to squeeze it out? All right? As is our want.
All of today's scene suggestions were gathered from your listener emails.
(02:14):
If you'd like to submit one, please write to the
podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
Your name here at alchemy this dot com. I first
seen comes from John who wrote Dear Alchemists, It's recruiting
day at the big universities. But the scouts are not
looking for the next NFL superstar. No, No, They're in
(02:34):
search of top notch players for the newest independent sports
trend called food larg food Lark is a hard, driving,
physical game of chance, whimsy, and bitterness. It requires a
number of attributes such as the hard, scrabbled toughness of
American football, the finesse and delicacy of fencing, and the
(02:58):
deep thinking strategy of chess. Oh my, on this day,
the recruiters are determined, and the coaches and university officials
are well a little confused. Thank you so much for
your talent, hilarity, and brazen disregard for any and all
listeners sensitivities. Wow, now, if you would, now, if you
(03:19):
would alchemy that ship regards John E. Sittrone, Jacksonville, Florida.
Part Now, remember when you did you say the name
of that sport again? Uh fool, Listen when you get
in there, Uh all the recruiters are going to be
eyes on you. Right. You understand what we practiced. I've
(03:42):
been practicing my whole life for this, right of course,
So you feel you're ready. I'm ready. I was born
for this. Okay, Your mom and I are so just
when I gave birth to you, I thought he is
just full of chance, whimsy and bitterness. Coach Coach you
take care of him now, But you listen to me
when you get out there. You want you to think
(04:02):
food large, and food large and nothing else. I can't
think of anything else other than food large. I don't
want to hear about math issues and english and science
and all that crap. Food. Yeah, you want to go
to the right university? Am I wrong? No? That's true. Okay,
I've got bad news. Uh, I didn't want any news.
(04:23):
Do your parents know about that? We have no idea
about that. I an't gonna need a urine sample from
someone that hasn't been using performance and enhancing performance and drugs. Dad,
you got some urine in you? I mean yeah, I'll
be right back. Okay, A little worried. I probably violated
(04:44):
a trust. Here are we talking hormones? We're talking to
that steroids? Did you get those out of my medicine cabinets? Yeah?
I knew I should have stopped taking those years years ago.
You should have taken all of them. You left them behind,
and I was tempted. I was. I did, and I
feel like I made me grow up too fast. You're
a big seventeen year old. I'm not gonna lie to
(05:04):
your face and in front of your folks, that's for sure.
I know that's part of the reason why I've been
doing so good. So Uh, I think your dad's gonna
pay in a basket if we don't get him a
cup or some kind. I mean, there's a waste basket
in here. Uh. Honestly, I feel like we're gonna have
to wait for the cup that they give me before
(05:25):
the Look the first recruiter I want you to meet. Okay,
he comes from San Jose State University, and I want
you to stay focused. Okay, I'll simp you see if
he's ready. Uh, Coach Arnald, Yes, sir, I got the
first potential recruit for you. What's your name? Boy? Rick?
(05:49):
All right? Rick? Now, I'll represent San Jose State University?
Is that in California? Familiar? Okay? This isn't this? This
is no. I mean that was just a cordial question California. Say,
I'm saying, sir, like the sharks. All right, you don't
ask me any more questions. You answer my questions. How
fast are you? Okay? Sounds good? All right? What do
(06:12):
you think would be a high scoring two letter word?
I like your instincts, like your instincts. Okay, okay, okay,
So let me just run you through a quick scenario.
You're on the field. Okay, you're holding your fencing sword
otherwise known as in sharp object. Okay, okay, write that down.
(06:32):
Wait was that wrong sword? It wasn't right. Okay, all right,
here we go, and all right, so you're out there,
you got your sharp objects. You're about to make a move. Okay,
I'm talking instincts here, animal instincts. Okay, you're a bishop,
you're the Knight. Talk to me. I am going to
stab a teammate and that will strike fear into the
(06:53):
other team. So, Diane, I've got Tommy and gymnastics. He's
doing great. What's rip up to. Well, we've been focusing
a lot on food, large food. Lar. Yes, that it
is a sport that is full of charm, wit and bitterness. Oh,
that seems like a good match for it. Yes. Looking
him out there, just throwing gravel at my son. Yeah,
(07:15):
he's so. He's a little small for his age. But
I have a feeling. Yeah. Um, So you've been spending
a lot of time on your own Yes, I have
recently divorced. Yes, Oh that's what I meant. I meant
your your husband. We can talk about it. It was mutual. Oh,
I'm sorry. Yes, of course. It was decided to part
(07:36):
ways after, you know, amicably. Yeah, after he decided first
I said, I agree. Oh, oh, yes, that makes yes. Yes,
So we've I've just been taking Tommy to gymnastics. I'd
love to get him in the Olympics. Um. And I'm
not lonely, Oh no, I'm not. I didn't sense that
you were at all. I mean when I came in
(07:56):
and you were standing in the corner sobbing and screaming,
I didn't. That's what I've been doing in the mornings,
just to get it all out and then I have
a great day ahead. It's like a prayer for you.
It's like a rage prayer. All right. Um, this ain't football, boy, No,
(08:18):
I know it's it's not. This ain't basketball boy. I
know it's not basketball. And the same baseball. No, say
the name of it. We'll see it together. One two, three,
food lark, that's right. Show your bitterness, Show me your barterness.
I'm gonna kill some people in the field. That's pretty bitter. Hey,
(08:41):
could someone get me a cup? I actually kind of
have to be Now, what's that all about? Did you
need a urine sample from your father? Well, I figured
that we were going to be on the same team.
If you take me to San Jose, you're gonna need
to know I do Royd's I need to know is
your father clean? Hope? So otherwise he's wasting our time
(09:02):
pissing into other room. I like you. I like you too.
If somebody doesn't bring me a cup, I'm just gonna
put the stopper and go in the sweetheart. Here, just
take my cup. I was going to I was going
to yearnate in this cup for myself for my own purposes.
But instead you can take mine. Oh thank well, here
keep the straw all right? If I could just bring
this meeting to order. Uh, I just wanted to say
(09:25):
that that. Um, I'm extremely excited about the first quarter.
As a group, we brought in Uh my lord one
point seven billions of many and uh first order of business. Yes,
it is as as a great many zeros. Imagine all
(09:46):
that money. Well, I've got to suggesting what we might
want to do with it. Uh. Professional sports keeps coming
up at the quarterly meetings, and um, Jim, you had
an idea to create a new sport. Yeah, and we
could own every aspect of it if we could just
(10:06):
shove it down the American people's throats. Yeah. Look, it's America, man,
that's what we do in America. You right. But we
made up a sport and called it football when the
world already had a football. That's exactly right. I had
an idea we could kill all the tigers. Okay, killing
tigers should be on someone's list. Jim, you work down
food lar fool. Yeah, could you explain that to us? Sure?
(10:27):
Well it's a combination of whimsy and uh and bitterness.
I can't think of the third thing. That hard driving,
physical game of chance. Yeah yeah, so what does that mean?
Exactly like blackjack sort of You ever flipped a coin
for I have? Yeah, you guys all flip coins for
You played paper rock scissors? You mean rock paper scissors? Well,
(10:50):
you're not from the same town I'm from. Uh, well
you know all these you know these games sis, sciss paper.
The wife and I traveled to France once and it
is rochambo. Oh. Yeah, they have different words for things
because it's a different language. Um. Yeah, it's basically it's
a combination of coin flipping and uh and um and uh,
(11:12):
playing odds, you know where you stick your hand out
and everybody holds out a number, and then also playing rochambo.
So that's the chance part. But everybody's in in pads
and why bitterness? How does that? How are we gonna
how we are people better anyway? Yeah? We only We're
only gonna recruit players who's whose siblings are better than
(11:33):
them and whose parents don't love them as much as
the rest of the family. Well, that's a guarantee. Flock.
Oh yeah, that's we're gonna have a lot of players. Flock. Yeah. Yeah,
that's a big group, a big number. Yeah, flock is
that's actually we don't call them teams. We're gonna call
him flocks. Kenny, you want to weigh in on this.
I know you had questions for Jim. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
(11:56):
Does the world need another sports were good question? Is
it a good question? Though? There's a good question concerned
about how we're going to sell the stands. There's a
reason that there's an ESPN one to three and four
and there's not an Animal Planet or a Bravo one
to three and four. There are different animal channels, they're
(12:17):
just not all animals. Well, I only corrupt world. I
only get the cheap version of cable. We're only get
nine channels. We should be getting better cable because we
made a billion dollars. Well, when food are takes off
with its one point how many billion? One seven one
point seven billion dollars and I'm gonna get every cable
channel they have, including uh Bravo three and four And okay,
(12:40):
how about a more of a philosophical question please that
I feel under attack here, I'd just like to say,
it's just a Ques attacking you. No one's even talking
about why I want to kill tigers? Why do we
want to kill tigers? No? Okay, why fool are self
for the design of the game. Why because because because
(13:07):
second borns need to have a sport that they can
excel at to. That's pretty specific. Every player is going
to be a bitter second born spares no heirs know
what I mean. I don't like hest here. I mean
none of us in this room can relate to it.
Were obviously city by city, state by state. It actually
(13:29):
will be building by building. I don't understand how does
that work. It means that every building, ideally every building
in the world will eventually have will eventually have a
flock of fool our flock. So no stadiums, no field,
no flocks play against each other. Oh sure, sure they do.
I'm just pointing out that there will be literally millions
(13:50):
of teams. Millions of teams. Age restrictions are as long
as their second born doesn't matter, So get the young
uns in there. Oh yeah, there's gonna be a pop
worn or fool. I think this is bad idea. You
want to go back to killing tiger you I don't
have to go back to that. That was just the
first thought of how can we spend a lot of
money have something opulent to something that is pointless. But
(14:13):
that seems like what you should do if you have
a lot of money. Hey boss, Yes, I just like
to point out that, did you have a question for
Tina directly? Tina, you've been she'd been bringing up this, uh,
this fool, this this killing tigers thing. Now at every
meeting we've had for the last about six years. I've
never killed a tiger. We've never addressed this properly. Maybe
(14:33):
we just need to send Tina on a tiger hunt,
or maybe we incorporate killing tigers into fool. Let's talk
about I'm just saying, don't you muddy fool Are Ladies
and gentlemen, Welcome to the first ever professional fool Are game.
Now we have two flocks today. One flock is that
we work Flock out of Santa Monica, California, and the
(14:56):
other is the first City Bank out of Austin. Now
I'm joined here by my uncle. Uh No one knows
much about this much about this game, but it's a
new sport. But you know about competition. Of course I
know about competition. I grew up competitively. So who are
you thinking, uncle Jackie thinking? Uh, we work or for
(15:19):
City Bank? Well, I don't know we work, but I've
been screwed over by City Bank plenty of times. They
have overdraft fees on overdraft fees, and I honestly I'm
voting for them. Wow. Okay, cool, I'm sorry, but you
have to pay this fee if you want to withdraw
more money. Certain, But if I pay a feed and
I'm not going to have money to withdraw, I'm just
(15:40):
gonna close my account. Okay. Well, you have to pay
a fee to close your account. I'm not paying a fee, okay,
but you have to pay a fee if you're going
to stand here any longer? Can I can I come
back there behind this window? I want to, please, don't don't.
But there's a reason the plexiglasses there, Rhonda. Is there
an issue here? Well? Um, this gentleman here, he won't
pay his fees. Uh, sir, what about that? You do
(16:02):
look pretty safe behind that PLEXI class window. Let me
in there and let me explain. It's I'm a kind
of guy that explains things with my hands. Are you
recently out of prison? Huh? No? Have you recently killed anything?
Maybe a tiger or a person. I've never killed a tiger.
I would never tiger. That does suggest you've killed the person.
(16:22):
You've killed a person that I've never killed. Could you
just pay these fees so we can get back to work. Okay,
if you let me back there, I'll give you. I'll
give you the money. All right, it's halftime. We should
be breathing real hard right now. A lot of bitterness today.
I don't think there's enough bitter nif bitter n if. Frankly,
let's go around and ask what you're bitter about. Tell
(16:44):
me what do you got for us. I've just been
paying all these fees right at the bank yeah, yeah, right,
And how are you gonna bring that into the game.
I'm just gonna, you know, I'm just gonna I'm just
gonna see look in the eyes of the people opposite
me and see all that, all the Abraham Lincoln's and
George Washington's that have looked at me disdainfully on bills
(17:07):
my whole life. Now, that sounds good. I like your motivation,
but our key motivation in food log will always be
stay with me, our parents love much. One more time.
Our parents don't love us that much. Okay, yeah, all right,
we're getting killed out there. Man, You guys attention that
(17:32):
I'm feeling so not bitter. My sister tarebras or own
office space and I have to go to we words.
It's because my parents apported her more, we're supposed to
bring whimsy. Who the hell is gonna bring whimsy? I
don't know, Charlie, can you? Of course I can bring whimsy.
(17:55):
All you've gotta do is take that sadness and harden it.
Everybody with me, now, now, doesn't that sadness feel a
little bit more like madness? Alright? First City Bank, we
have too much bitterness and not we have Yeah, we
have all the bitterness. We need more whimsy. That's it. Okay,
(18:17):
that's it. That seems to be the problem with all
the teams ships. Okay, I was trying to find the opposite.
All right, I don't know. I'm feeling brandy. I like it.
I like it. I like it. I'm pretending I'm a bug.
I'm crawling on the ground. All right, flock, listen up.
We have one last play a right, I love to play. Okay,
(18:39):
that's good. Which play are we doing? I think we
should run the one seven, the all one seven seven? Tommy,
why don't you walk us do that again? Right? The
all one seven? That's where uh, that's where one guy
flips a coin, then all seven and the other guys
smash into each other real hard, well do in that
(19:00):
paper rock scissors thing, and whoever wins both the smash
and the paper rock scissors doesn't get fed to the
tiger that we bring out. Yeah, I'm gonna be the one.
I want to be the one. I want you to smash.
I want you to smash in me. Guys, we can't
all be the one. Well, then he should be the one.
(19:21):
So can you tell us what's going to happen on
day one of the tiger hunt place, Well, what I'd
like to have happened. And again this is just me
spit balling. We get in a sort of a safari
sort of a jeep. Yeah, we have khaki shorts, clothing,
light linen tops, some big wide brimmed hat, guns and
(19:44):
rifles most likely, And are you comfortable shooting. I've never
done it, but I think it'll be fun. We roll
out into then we have canteens across our chest fill
of cold water. We have a handsome tour guide who
doesn't speak watch English, but it's all so yummy and powerful.
He sees things we can't see because I keep talk
(20:06):
to nature in a way that we can't talk. And
we are learning about our lives, were learning about ourselves.
We're going about each other. There's romantic tension. We're looking
for tigers. Now we first we see elephants. They're beautiful,
they look to it here than you think they would,
scratchy and dry. Not a tiger. Then we'll roll on,
I imagine, maybe through some canopies, maybe see a lion.
(20:32):
Not a tag No, don't shoot the lion. No no, no, no, no,
it's a mummy lion and she's saying with other mummies,
and there's one king and he's not there. I was, Oh,
he must be busy. We keep going and then we
see a flash of orange with a smash of black.
What's that? We chool it to death right all the
(20:54):
same time. Ah, I don't like that at all. No, No,
we shouldn't shoot that. You haven't second thoughts, I am
It would be bloody and dead. And the tiger so
majestic and beautiful, and there was a mummy lions. Tiger
is not so different from a lion, is it. Could
(21:15):
we switch this to buffalo? Would that be more comfortable?
Did that? Okay? Will the beast? Maybe we shouldn't be
hunting quarter cheese? Yeah, thank you, nothing for me. I
don't know that you want to order something. I didn't
order that. I thought you'd think I like something. I
just work here in this burger king. I don't really know. Well,
(21:36):
if you see a woman alone, Mike, yeah, uh, like
this is a burger king. The quarter pounder with cheese
has never been on the menu. It will never be
on the menu. Please stop going to the McDonald's next
door stealing their wrappers and wrapping up our Burger King
burgers in it because don't you like who? You know what?
(21:59):
You are so full of bitterness. I mean I have
to say this. This McDonald's move does scream of whimsy,
but it's this bitter street. Sorry, I'm an empty like
my brother. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're fired. Good
luck finding a job doing anything where those skills will
come in handy, welcome to McDonald's. Gonna help you. Yeah,
(22:21):
this is die cooked to go. I'm gonna make a
phone call. Sure, Hi, is this the fool lug full
International high foolog International? Hi? I want to join a flock? Oh? Well,
are you better? Very? Are you second born? Definitely? Well?
Last of all, do you have a sense of whimsy? Well,
(22:42):
I used to work at a burger King and I
sold quarter pounds there quarter founders of Burger King. Come
down to the offices right now. There's an important person
that wants to meet you. Which office the one downtown?
I'll be there. I want to thank you for the
tupper tunity. Um, I feel like I'm a I'm a
(23:04):
great food log candidate. Well yeah, I mean you walked
in and you did a spin in the air, so whimsy,
that's for sure. Let me hear a little bit of
that bitterness. My brother is a medical doctor, and my
parents often forgot me on top of the roof of
the car as they were and they drive. That's that's
(23:26):
that would induces, and that is induced bitterness. Taking it
out on domestic animals. My whole life, I've hurt things,
hurt people, animals and people both. Yes, ma'am. Okay, excellent. Well,
if you'll pay this fee, we can get you on
a team seven thousand four. That is correct. I don't
(23:46):
know if I can come up with that hap of money.
We can sponsor you. Oh well, actually I can just
go down to the bank real quick. I have a
pretty good relationship with them there. Oh great, okay, so
hold pause on the sponsoring. Let me see if I
can get my own cash. Okay, you want cash? Yes? Please?
Can we come behind this plexiglass is here to protect
you from me? Wow? I never saw that one. Yeah,
(24:10):
doesn't that change your perspective? To keep you safe? It's
gonna cost you, but sure, no problem. Are you familiar
with food? Larg No? Do you have any siblings? I do?
Tell me about the order of which you were birth
I'm number two? Say no more? How would you like
to get out of this bank? Take about? I can't
(24:32):
get out from behind this dar for the both of us.
We pay a fee, We walk out into a field.
We become legendary, sir. Ma' sir? What is happening? I
can't recruit you to the next level of your life?
(24:53):
You want me to get fourteen thou dollars? Wait? Right? Yeah?
Walk out with you? We pay another fee? Where are we?
More questions do you have for me? Are you? I
want one last question for you? Are you ready for
today to be the first day of the rest of
(25:13):
your life? Sure? Every day is? Then let's do it? No, Papa, please? Yeah,
I don't know what's going on. Is someone else trying
to get behind the PLEXI glass? He's asking I'm telling
him it's for his protection, and then he wants me
to change my life? What's up? Sir? You see how
(25:39):
I had to stringle that motherfucker the bitterness. That's a
shot through my fucking fingertips. I didn't know you can
fix your arm through that hole. You didn't. That's the
whimsy of my body is supposed to be for I'm
not gonna hurt you. I'm not gonna hurt you. Scared, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I'm scared. Okay, now scared me join me? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
(26:06):
join me, join me. That was amazing, you want to say?
Oh okay o god, I see we just march right
onto a field right now? Why you never mind? Can
I just get my money up? Please? Yeah, you're going
to need three fees on top of your transaction fee.
Strangle fee talkinge fee confusing, and there's my check. Excellent.
(26:32):
We are going to put you on the City Bank team. Okay,
what cities that in that would be in this city? Oh? Great,
that's convenient. Yes, Cleveland, Ohio. Okay, high coach, how you
doing their kid? I'm great, I'm ready to play. I'm sorry.
You're looking for the City Bank team. Yes, oh they're
(26:54):
one building over this. This is City Bank too, but comma,
oh okay, this is been a weird day book. Every
every building has a team. They're right next door. I heard, Look, sweetheart,
your urine came back and fool of drugs and bad
(27:20):
bad gosh. I could have told you that probably other
people's blood and there too. Huh. Yes, and I am
just a little. My friend Diane, she and her husband
recently divorced. Whose idea was it though? Okay, what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that I don't want us to
go through that. Sure, So could you please explain all
(27:43):
of the levels of cocaine and explain all the levels
of coin? All right? Well, there's there's top tier like
the primop or did your worse that day under your sentence?
Oh no? Please? All right? Well, when you you you
started talking, so I would love for you to follow
through with it. Well, there's the top, dear primo cocaine,
and then well there's two kinds of cocaine. There's sativa
(28:04):
and indica, and a sativa is gonna be a real
upper and indica is gonna be like just emotionally upper. Well,
I'm sorry, coach. I guess I'm not going to be
able to be in the San Jose Sharks team. My
dad does a lot of drucks. I wish you would
have said it before I paid in that cup. Well
(28:26):
we're gonna miss you, um, but if I were just
being honest, Today is the first day of the food
larg uh sports situation. But it's also the last Today's
game was the first game ever and the last game ever.
The tigers that were endangered, that died as part of it.
(28:47):
It's part of it. But more importantly, nobody shot up
what no fans? All right? Welcome back to the second
quarterly meeting of the year, first Order Business of Courses,
to report the loss of one point four million a billion.
We still have, we have, We made a name for ourselves.
(29:10):
There's probably gonna be books, and also we still have
point two billion dollars. I'm not sure idiots was the
name we're looking for. Tim Are you saying I did
all it could to sink this particular ship, Well, I
agree to disagree fair enough, and that's gotta be seen too.
(29:33):
But it was only seen one yes, uh seen to
come from ken Ken, who writes, hello, alchemist. I'm a
huge fan of your podcast. Really helps break up my
hours of monotonous daily commute to and from law school.
And I tell everyone I can about how great your
show is. Most of them agree with me, and the
ones who don't are all idiots. Oh, I like where
(29:56):
this guy's coming from. I've got a scene idea for you.
Two seasoned patrol cops or send out to a house
on an emergency. Once they break down the door, they
realize they've interrupted a full on war crimes court proceeding
being held by school children against the neighborhood bully. All right, rookie, yeah,
(30:24):
I want you to knock on that door with purpose. Okay,
all right, okay, I mean I want want when I
tell you too, what should we go away? Let's go?
Oh goodness? For officers? Are your parents here? Um? Actually,
they're a little busy. They're working right now. Right, Well,
(30:46):
we have a warrant to search the house. What's that sound?
That's a cat. That's my cat. He's your cat tied up?
My cat has a stomach ache, poor thing. Well we
can have a veterinarian come around at some point, but
for sure, I was trained to be a field medic.
I could probably help. What are the pigs doing here? Oh?
(31:07):
Come on, that's not very nice term for us. We're cops,
were police were pretty much. I can say anything I want. Oink,
oink oink. It's kind of a hustle environment. Are you
kids playing something to Yes? Ever heard of hokots? We've
all played hop scots. But I'm here in the sounds
(31:29):
of someone tied up. I said that was my goldfriend Sea.
Can we just come in and take a quick look.
What's that smell? Oh it's bacon. Kids. You're hilarious and
fun and we don't mean to disturb the playtime. It's
(31:50):
just has been disturbing since from the neighbors have had
lots of calls. How do you wear shoes? Here? I was,
I was wondering where there's a boy in there that's
tied up? There is, so don't commit commend touch him?
(32:12):
All right, I'll go one and tie him. All right?
Excuse me stop? Do you have an extra juice box? Yes?
We do here? It is uh do you have an
extra juice No? Not for you. Okay, here's the thing.
We know that you're the law, but in this house
we have our own law. And Jason here committed a crime.
(32:32):
This is not concerned either of you. All right, Well,
let's be fair about this. What was the crime that
he committed? Crime committed? Have you ever heard of sharing? Yes,
well he hasn't. Okay, that makes me angry. I'm on
your side already. What else have you heard of? Tattle telling? Yes?
Well he has to. He loves it is a big time,
(32:55):
tattle tale, punching up, punching up. Yeah, you're supposed to
punch up, right, Big kids take on big kids punches down.
I'm not a fan of this kid's w What were
you in the midst of maybe punishing this Uh, we're
going to give him his process. Can we just witness
(33:18):
you know what we want? We honestly don't think we
should be witnessing your little tails. I would hate to
have to report. We're gonna have to write a report
about this report in due time. Let's let this play out. Also,
if you say you at the right to report, makes
me think you're a rookie. I'm not a rookie. It's
(33:39):
how many days? How many days have you been on
the second week? One page? Second week rookie? I need
you to have my back on this. We're gonna let
this play out for a couple of these. Piece of evidence.
He went up to our babysitter and said that I
(34:03):
called him dumb? Did you? I did? But he tattle
taled no further questions, and I have the tape of it.
Play the tape, play did she? And she just started out, Jason,
(34:23):
take your breath. You're gonna be so handsome one day?
What does he said? It just mean? What stop? See
he said that I was mean. Yep, yep, yep, yep, hey, rook,
(34:44):
give me that clock. I can't. We don't, we don't,
we can't. I guess I'm done asking you. You know what,
tak got all the bullets, take out the bulls. Thank you.
I really feel like I'm going to have to take
and cheap. What did I just do it? Here you go? Okay, wow,
(35:05):
pretty heavy? Oh my god, he just hit that child
over the face. Here you are, thank you very much. Okay,
the court would recognize Mackenzie recognize this is an interesting
little piece of evidence. I have that he used to
be one of my favorite two socks. Can you see
(35:27):
anything wrong with this one's luck? I can. It's soiled. Yep,
it's got a whole cut in it almost looks like
a lizard bit its way out of this has a lizard?
Jason put his lizard in my uniform side? Can I
have that taser? You shouldn't take this. Thank you. Listen,
(35:52):
I'm gonna have to go call in for that's how
the game. I can't sit this is child because this
is a fair household and the evidence has been laid out.
We will now allow Jason to speaking. It should What
(36:15):
do you have to say for yourself? Don't cry? Don't
you dare cry. You're not scared, You're not even scared.
You scared me? Scary, scary be don't be such a baby.
(36:35):
Get a chance to please? Guilty because what do you think?
What do you think you are? Okay, do you have evidence?
Where is the evidence? May the court recognize that he's
currently peeing himself. He's got drew all over his face. Okay,
(37:01):
I can't listen to him anymore. Oh my god, we
can't be here. Somebody's at the door. I gotta hello, Hi, Stacy,
I am looking for my young charge. What does that mean?
I'm a babysitter and for Jason. Oh yeah, wait, what
(37:21):
was your name? Aga, Stacy? You are very pretty. What's
happening to Jason? Why is he screaming? Officer Tim and
don't plow my cover. Don't plow my cover. He's a rookie, Stacy. Uh.
We arrived on the scene and we are observing. We're
(37:45):
just about to call this happening with Jason. Mom is
going to be really he's being brought up for charges
by his friends who we may have a bully on
our hands. I don't know what your experience is like.
Someone want to call Stacy to the stand if I may, Stacy, Hi,
I'm Jaden and this is my friend Aiden, and this
(38:07):
is mckendzie. Um Stacy, how long have you known Jason?
I've known little JJ since he was like, had no
leg hair? Three years? Okay, Aiden, how long have I
known him? No question for the um? Uh? What when?
(38:29):
How did you first meet Jason at the pool? I
met his mom? Okay, okay, and now I'm a lifeguard. Yeah,
you look at your life guard too quick? One question
and one real? Okay? Would you mind breeding Aiden's hair
like yours? Because that would be cool if it matched?
Would you mind I otherwise I'll take it. I'll just
(38:51):
take it. Has you'll take my It looks like Jason
got pistol whipped. I'm really scared. So what's going on? Uh?
The proceeding is unfolding as it should. You're familiar with
the word organic, Okay. We're drying something new with the
police force, and that is when we get onto a
(39:12):
scene if there's a domestic disturbance, we'd like to ask
some questions. In this case, we decided to observe. Jason.
I'm gonna untie you, but if you cry, you're gonna
get hurt. No, he is, yeah, he is. What about
my mom? About her? Don't talk about her mom? Don't
(39:33):
see any about my mom. If you're threatening Jade, and
I mean, if you're threatening Jason, I will tell your mother.
My mom is not an alcoholic. Yes she is, don't
say that. She absolutely is? All right? Let's she's probably
home right now. Jason, you're being charged with being mean,
a bully, not sharing, and being a tattle towel. Now
(39:53):
you have somebody here in your corner and cry and
a cry baby. I'm taking your gag off. You are mean,
mean kids, Jason? Are you okay? I wish I got
a hug like that? What a good hug. Nobody's time
to see how Jason pleads Jason guilt, Of course you're
(40:17):
not going thing's gonna go a little better for you
if maybe you own some of your behavior. Is that possible, right?
And is it possible to some of these charges against
you were true, not all of them, but some of them.
What's going on here? Hello? I'm so sorry took my pennies.
(40:40):
We didn't realize you were home. Man, you don't need
to be here. Mom, Yes, since you've been here. Bitch okay, Mom.
She when she says bitch, she means it as a compliment.
I mean because she's out of control. Yeah, that's like
a good thing. Right, what's going on office? I don't
think we realized that when she said it's the next level? Yeah,
(41:06):
welcome you about Would you like a pizza roll? Ma'am
would love Stacy. I asked for a pizza role. You'll
get one later. Bit, Mrs Baker. My mom says you're
owe her three cigarettes. Would your mom say, Jaden, you
owe her three cigarettes? He? Would your mom say, tell
me again? I can't he Jane, Okay, never mind, ma'am.
(41:29):
Would it be okay if ma'am ma'am is my mother's name?
Oh miss, I'm sorry? What was your name? I didn't
get this, triggy um. We came upon this domestic disturbance.
There were some calls, how very officer Tim, this is
to Tim rookie, Well, I would prefer not to just
(41:51):
call me a rookie uniforms baggy on you. I'm going
to grow into it. You must be timing under there.
I'm actually it's just at the it's big. I'm an
average size bout. Oh boy, does it want company? Hey, sarge,
I'm getting a distress signal from rookie Tom. Yeah, what's it?
(42:13):
What's it saying? Um, it's just it says nine number one,
number one, number one, number one num and one numb
one number one one night nine one. We just said
one one nine. At the end of everything, he said,
I'm not sure. I'd probably just disregard like a GPS
track this thing, and maybe we can get in there,
or I can just leave it alone. You know what,
asked him to send pics well scent. So now we
(42:37):
have grown ups in the room, grown ups and kind
of grown ups in the room listening to what Jason.
I want to see what happens. Okay, well, let's go
over what the penalties are going to be. I found guilty.
That's a good idea. Okay, you've got to let him go.
We'll see, Aidan. What do you think for sure? One
(42:58):
knuckle sandwich for sure, one kunckle sandwich for sure. Two
butt cheeks naked in the wind? Yeah, yeah, I want
to glue is a little nutsack. I got to take
a quick picture of the Could you guys just get
together really quick? All right, we can't let you tape
(43:23):
or this. The pictures come through you. Yeah, wow, wow,
wow wow. Check out the rack on this one. All right,
that's not come on, this is a professional environment. What
are we dealing with here? Or we're dealing with a
woman with no panties? Okay? And they seemed to be
(43:45):
children and one's tied up. Okay, that's the kind of thing.
Look at this, Let on this, look at that. Yeah,
I get it, she's not wearing panties, But what about
who is the kid that? There's a kid tight zooming on? What?
Sergeant's what? It's Jason? What give me that? That's my house?
(44:06):
That's so? Yeah, And then when your dad comes home,
you have to take his gun and throw it in
the river. Don't forget cheeks in the wind and guests
whose nuts are still glued to their legs. Well, I
think rookie Tom and I have seen all we need
(44:26):
to see. Your kids seem to have everything under control.
I would like to be all you need your telephone number,
you can have it, Okay, you can fax me too,
Can I hi? Fax and it's a one eight eight,
six to seven, next one. That's right. Okay, so it
(44:47):
sounds like you're advertised. Yeah, all right, we'll be faxing,
will be faax mere Italian food. M hmmm, it's your daughter, right.
So I haven't eating in weeks, you have to. I
(45:08):
gave a whole box of macar only this morning. I said,
making necklace to eat. Knock yourself out. It was got
stuck in my teeth. I think we need proof that
Jason isn't just being a baby, that he's also can
be a big boy, Stacy. Yeah, is it true? Jason
told me so? Maybe he's a liar? Is it true?
One time you kissed him on the cheeks? He kissed me? Okay,
(45:32):
that's pretty cool. That is cool. It was really cool.
I want to kiss you on the cheek. Okay, I'm
gonna take it. I'm gonna take your cheek. That was scary.
That's she's scary, did you Her mom is right here?
Look at this that's going to happen. You're scared? Oh,
(45:53):
who's got ants living inside their body? Me that I
haven't had a bathroom a long time. Yeah, totally alright, Sorge,
this is your home. I don't know what. You want
to kick the door down? You want to open it?
You want he's a key? You know what? God, if
that rookie was here, we could get him to knock.
It's a quick, quick question. Yeah, Stacy watches your kid? Right, Yeah,
(46:17):
don't do not. I'm just fasking well, old ship and
we're not talking about this, okay, okay, all right, all right, Um,
I do have to say the charge. And I know
you know this, but um, yeah, is this going to
hang on? It's not gonna be bad. Okay, Okay, It's
(46:39):
just that was you So you knew what my question was. Yeah,
because I know, I know me, I know my brand.
You know what I mean? When we go in there,
if something bad is happening, legally, we can't really do
much to stop it. If there is a corporating occurring. Well, yeah,
of course that's a hypothetical wild happy to the Kangaroo
Court Act. We all know it. We had to learn
it in school. I didn't mean to dispute disrespectful. So
should we go in? Yeah? Um, and hey, if Stacy
(47:02):
like he says anything like, I'll give it. I'll give
her any Wait here we go. Here, we go all right,
for God's sake, all right, free, free Sorge, Thank god
you're here, Rocky Tom. Have you met the Sorge? I
my first time meeting him. I sent him. I told him.
I told him you guys, and I told him that
there was bad things going on here. Christ we got
(47:23):
to get you a new uniform. What I meant? Tell
him up? Tell you wait a second. This is my job. Okay,
you see big is my pinky finger, right, you said,
right next to Jason. We're just going to watch this
(47:45):
whole thing happen, all right, Sorge? Is this your house? Yeah? Yeah,
it's Actually I don't know where this drunk lady came from.
I think I live next door. Yes, I was thinking
this is not my family and the picture of fireplace
I live next door. I like to play over here.
(48:05):
That's why I snuck in the window right now. You're
the Stargs, right yeah, Hey, sorry, I'm Jaden. Jane, you're Jaden.
This is a j my son tied up. Well, oh
and this is Mackenzie. Hey, sorry, cool aid, but it's okay.
This isn't a real smile. This is a kool Aid smile.
(48:25):
I know it's very very red. So as one authority
figure to to another. I'll allow it. Okay, your rookie
is also being tried for tattle telling, and your son
Jason also might be a tattle tale. So as the
adults in the room or authority figures, what do you
think we should do? How should we? Here's what I
(48:46):
think you should all of you. Get the funk out?
Can I held your gun? You get to know you
can't hold my gun. Get the funk out of my house.
Came through the window, do Stacy? Stacy? We should get going?
If you know, if he said we should get out
of the house, everybody get out of my goddamn I'm
gonna take you Stacy station stay okay, alright, alright, sorry
(49:08):
said okay. If I fact your neighbor, I have lost
control of my police force, haven't I. I'm just saying.
She's sang her facts number and it was really crazy.
Is it the one that ends in seven x y
one size? Yeah, it's But I'm not a millionaire. Yeah,
(49:30):
go ahead, and facts are just fellas. Just help me
untie my son, for God's sake, God bless once again?
Just as fails? Is that a lesson? Why are you
still here? I can't. I can't understand how to go.
(49:52):
You can use the door, you don't use the window again,
you can use I know you're here, you don't have
to use the For fox sake, Sergeant, we arrived, your
son was tied up, and when we're leaving, rookie Tom
is tied up. I think it was a great day,
do you Jesus Christ? Well, I guess I'm satisfied. Aiden,
(50:15):
I'm satisfied. I have a taser gun. Still. Yeah, okay, Well,
I guess we'll get going unless that really handsome cop
wants to take Stacy home. Yeah that sounds great. I'm
taking Oh yeah, that was part of it. Sorge, Will
you allow a gluing of the nerds? Everything and everything
(50:37):
will and if if some justice has served, I should
not have quit playing flu aren't for this? What did
you call it? I don't know what? Then? Is called
fool stables? Nuts? Do his leg? I think everything went
sideways when was introduced. All right, that's our show for today.
I want to thank all of our alchemists. Uh, James Heeney,
(51:00):
that's me, thank you so much. Pot wasn't folks find
Please go to Brief news brief dot com because there
you could see the news show I do, or you
could click other links to see other stuff. What's the show?
It's called brief News Brief. That's why Brief newsbrief dot com.
You said show, and I freaked out news the news
(51:21):
dam There is a new one coming soon though, Yeah,
I don't want to hear about it. But as the
Ryland Donny Talk writer, theater, going Strong, going crazy, going great, phenomenal.
Chris Alvarado, Chris is here. It's Joey Greer. Come, I
can't come. Oh, Joey Greer was in fact miss and
(51:44):
thank you for reminding us what he does when he's
not here. Carla Akowski, Yeah, thanks for having me. Carla
Kowski is my name and also all of my handles.
An your relation to Craig justin cousin. Please tell when
we missed him, will you? Mark Ay, thanks so much
for joining us once again, pleasure, thanks for having about
(52:07):
Uh you have some show coming to the title. Yeah,
this summer, Blood and Treasure comes to CBS Tuesdays at nine.
We premiere. This is the broadcast network from the broad
the Columbia Broadcasting Network on television proper and the title
is Blood and that's the best. That's the best. It's
(52:30):
imagine if if Indiana Jones and Carmen san Diego were
x Is forced to work together again to thwart a
blood antiquities based terrorist, and it starts when starts. Fantastic movie.
Let's thank our engineered to the stars, Dan Goodman, Dan
(52:50):
Great Doug Bam, comeback soon, but we just saw you
know when you're not here. We love Dan Goodman, our
postsound design artist Raphael Blee, our producer Sophie Lichtman. Thank
you once again for every damn thing, and our best
to Anderson Cooper. Lastly, I heart media folks. Write a review, subscribe,
(53:12):
Tell everyone you've ever met to give us a listen.
We so depend on you and your fanship, and continue
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involve food. Lar right to us at your name here
at alchemy this dot com. Your name here at alchemy
this dot com. I'm Kevin Pollack. Until next time, her
(54:03):
Ver
Welcome back another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your host,
Kevin Polo guests that Kevin Polock. Well, I do and
I don't, but I digress. I'm so very happy to
welcome you all to another episode of Alcomy. There, let's
meet today's Alcome in the show. We in no particular orders.
Say hello to Chris Aperodo. Hi everybody, Chris, you wish
(00:23):
you were here If an eighth day of the week
we're added and called Someday. How would you spend your
someday m with a loved one? Yeah? Hi, did lady?
It's Carla Katkowski for me. Carlo. What are your summer plans? Carla,
(00:45):
summer plans are sleep napping? My favorite? Whoa, there's Vanessa
Ragland Venetian. Do you believe dreams do come true? It
can happen to you when you're young at heart. I
have horrible dreams. Ding dong, the witch is dead and
(01:07):
Mark Gagliardi brought us her slippers. That's right, mark your calendars.
What's your favorite birthday present ever? My favorite birthday present
ever is a thumb drive. I was given with ten
thousand photos of my family dating back to Good Lord.
You have the best friends in the world, or who
(01:27):
gave that to you? My dad? Correct, that's what I
have here, your father. And last up, but up your
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it's James Heeny, James Dean. When a man loves a woman,
why can't he keep his mind on nothing else? Nothing else?
(01:52):
Oh God, I guess it's because you need to plot
and plan to capture that woman to keep forever? Is that?
What's your paper? Is that? Right? That is exactly what
way to squeeze it out? All right? As is our want.
All of today's scene suggestions were gathered from your listener emails.
(02:14):
If you'd like to submit one, please write to the
podcast at your name here at alchemy this dot com.
Your name here at alchemy this dot com. I first
seen comes from John who wrote Dear Alchemists, It's recruiting
day at the big universities. But the scouts are not
looking for the next NFL superstar. No, No, They're in
(02:34):
search of top notch players for the newest independent sports
trend called food larg food Lark is a hard, driving,
physical game of chance, whimsy, and bitterness. It requires a
number of attributes such as the hard, scrabbled toughness of
American football, the finesse and delicacy of fencing, and the
(02:58):
deep thinking strategy of chess. Oh my, on this day,
the recruiters are determined, and the coaches and university officials
are well a little confused. Thank you so much for
your talent, hilarity, and brazen disregard for any and all
listeners sensitivities. Wow, now, if you would, now, if you
(03:19):
would alchemy that ship regards John E. Sittrone, Jacksonville, Florida.
Part Now, remember when you did you say the name
of that sport again? Uh fool, Listen when you get
in there, Uh all the recruiters are going to be
eyes on you. Right. You understand what we practiced. I've
(03:42):
been practicing my whole life for this, right of course,
So you feel you're ready. I'm ready. I was born
for this. Okay, Your mom and I are so just
when I gave birth to you, I thought he is
just full of chance, whimsy and bitterness. Coach Coach you
take care of him now, But you listen to me
when you get out there. You want you to think
(04:02):
food large, and food large and nothing else. I can't
think of anything else other than food large. I don't
want to hear about math issues and english and science
and all that crap. Food. Yeah, you want to go
to the right university? Am I wrong? No? That's true. Okay,
I've got bad news. Uh, I didn't want any news.
(04:23):
Do your parents know about that? We have no idea
about that. I an't gonna need a urine sample from
someone that hasn't been using performance and enhancing performance and drugs. Dad,
you got some urine in you? I mean yeah, I'll
be right back. Okay, A little worried. I probably violated
(04:44):
a trust. Here are we talking hormones? We're talking to
that steroids? Did you get those out of my medicine cabinets? Yeah?
I knew I should have stopped taking those years years ago.
You should have taken all of them. You left them behind,
and I was tempted. I was. I did, and I
feel like I made me grow up too fast. You're
a big seventeen year old. I'm not gonna lie to
(05:04):
your face and in front of your folks, that's for sure.
I know that's part of the reason why I've been
doing so good. So Uh, I think your dad's gonna
pay in a basket if we don't get him a
cup or some kind. I mean, there's a waste basket
in here. Uh. Honestly, I feel like we're gonna have
to wait for the cup that they give me before
(05:25):
the Look the first recruiter I want you to meet. Okay,
he comes from San Jose State University, and I want
you to stay focused. Okay, I'll simp you see if
he's ready. Uh, Coach Arnald, Yes, sir, I got the
first potential recruit for you. What's your name? Boy? Rick?
(05:49):
All right? Rick? Now, I'll represent San Jose State University?
Is that in California? Familiar? Okay? This isn't this? This
is no. I mean that was just a cordial question California. Say,
I'm saying, sir, like the sharks. All right, you don't
ask me any more questions. You answer my questions. How
fast are you? Okay? Sounds good? All right? What do
(06:12):
you think would be a high scoring two letter word?
I like your instincts, like your instincts. Okay, okay, okay,
So let me just run you through a quick scenario.
You're on the field. Okay, you're holding your fencing sword
otherwise known as in sharp object. Okay, okay, write that down.
(06:32):
Wait was that wrong sword? It wasn't right. Okay, all right,
here we go, and all right, so you're out there,
you got your sharp objects. You're about to make a move. Okay,
I'm talking instincts here, animal instincts. Okay, you're a bishop,
you're the Knight. Talk to me. I am going to
stab a teammate and that will strike fear into the
(06:53):
other team. So, Diane, I've got Tommy and gymnastics. He's
doing great. What's rip up to. Well, we've been focusing
a lot on food, large food. Lar. Yes, that it
is a sport that is full of charm, wit and bitterness. Oh,
that seems like a good match for it. Yes. Looking
him out there, just throwing gravel at my son. Yeah,
(07:15):
he's so. He's a little small for his age. But
I have a feeling. Yeah. Um, So you've been spending
a lot of time on your own Yes, I have
recently divorced. Yes, Oh that's what I meant. I meant
your your husband. We can talk about it. It was mutual. Oh,
I'm sorry. Yes, of course. It was decided to part
(07:36):
ways after, you know, amicably. Yeah, after he decided first
I said, I agree. Oh, oh, yes, that makes yes. Yes,
So we've I've just been taking Tommy to gymnastics. I'd
love to get him in the Olympics. Um. And I'm
not lonely, Oh no, I'm not. I didn't sense that
you were at all. I mean when I came in
(07:56):
and you were standing in the corner sobbing and screaming,
I didn't. That's what I've been doing in the mornings,
just to get it all out and then I have
a great day ahead. It's like a prayer for you.
It's like a rage prayer. All right. Um, this ain't football, boy, No,
(08:18):
I know it's it's not. This ain't basketball boy. I
know it's not basketball. And the same baseball. No, say
the name of it. We'll see it together. One two, three,
food lark, that's right. Show your bitterness, Show me your barterness.
I'm gonna kill some people in the field. That's pretty bitter. Hey,
(08:41):
could someone get me a cup? I actually kind of
have to be Now, what's that all about? Did you
need a urine sample from your father? Well, I figured
that we were going to be on the same team.
If you take me to San Jose, you're gonna need
to know I do Royd's I need to know is
your father clean? Hope? So otherwise he's wasting our time
(09:02):
pissing into other room. I like you. I like you too.
If somebody doesn't bring me a cup, I'm just gonna
put the stopper and go in the sweetheart. Here, just
take my cup. I was going to I was going
to yearnate in this cup for myself for my own purposes.
But instead you can take mine. Oh thank well, here
keep the straw all right? If I could just bring
this meeting to order. Uh, I just wanted to say
(09:25):
that that. Um, I'm extremely excited about the first quarter.
As a group, we brought in Uh my lord one
point seven billions of many and uh first order of business. Yes,
it is as as a great many zeros. Imagine all
(09:46):
that money. Well, I've got to suggesting what we might
want to do with it. Uh. Professional sports keeps coming
up at the quarterly meetings, and um, Jim, you had
an idea to create a new sport. Yeah, and we
could own every aspect of it if we could just
(10:06):
shove it down the American people's throats. Yeah. Look, it's America, man,
that's what we do in America. You right. But we
made up a sport and called it football when the
world already had a football. That's exactly right. I had
an idea we could kill all the tigers. Okay, killing
tigers should be on someone's list. Jim, you work down
food lar fool. Yeah, could you explain that to us? Sure?
(10:27):
Well it's a combination of whimsy and uh and bitterness.
I can't think of the third thing. That hard driving,
physical game of chance. Yeah yeah, so what does that mean?
Exactly like blackjack sort of You ever flipped a coin
for I have? Yeah, you guys all flip coins for
You played paper rock scissors? You mean rock paper scissors? Well,
(10:50):
you're not from the same town I'm from. Uh, well
you know all these you know these games sis, sciss paper.
The wife and I traveled to France once and it
is rochambo. Oh. Yeah, they have different words for things
because it's a different language. Um. Yeah, it's basically it's
a combination of coin flipping and uh and um and uh,
(11:12):
playing odds, you know where you stick your hand out
and everybody holds out a number, and then also playing rochambo.
So that's the chance part. But everybody's in in pads
and why bitterness? How does that? How are we gonna
how we are people better anyway? Yeah? We only We're
only gonna recruit players who's whose siblings are better than
(11:33):
them and whose parents don't love them as much as
the rest of the family. Well, that's a guarantee. Flock.
Oh yeah, that's we're gonna have a lot of players. Flock. Yeah. Yeah,
that's a big group, a big number. Yeah, flock is
that's actually we don't call them teams. We're gonna call
him flocks. Kenny, you want to weigh in on this.
I know you had questions for Jim. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
(11:56):
Does the world need another sports were good question? Is
it a good question? Though? There's a good question concerned
about how we're going to sell the stands. There's a
reason that there's an ESPN one to three and four
and there's not an Animal Planet or a Bravo one
to three and four. There are different animal channels, they're
(12:17):
just not all animals. Well, I only corrupt world. I
only get the cheap version of cable. We're only get
nine channels. We should be getting better cable because we
made a billion dollars. Well, when food are takes off
with its one point how many billion? One seven one
point seven billion dollars and I'm gonna get every cable
channel they have, including uh Bravo three and four And okay,
(12:40):
how about a more of a philosophical question please that
I feel under attack here, I'd just like to say,
it's just a Ques attacking you. No one's even talking
about why I want to kill tigers? Why do we
want to kill tigers? No? Okay, why fool are self
for the design of the game. Why because because because
(13:07):
second borns need to have a sport that they can
excel at to. That's pretty specific. Every player is going
to be a bitter second born spares no heirs know
what I mean. I don't like hest here. I mean
none of us in this room can relate to it.
Were obviously city by city, state by state. It actually
(13:29):
will be building by building. I don't understand how does
that work. It means that every building, ideally every building
in the world will eventually have will eventually have a
flock of fool our flock. So no stadiums, no field,
no flocks play against each other. Oh sure, sure they do.
I'm just pointing out that there will be literally millions
(13:50):
of teams. Millions of teams. Age restrictions are as long
as their second born doesn't matter, So get the young
uns in there. Oh yeah, there's gonna be a pop
worn or fool. I think this is bad idea. You
want to go back to killing tiger you I don't
have to go back to that. That was just the
first thought of how can we spend a lot of
money have something opulent to something that is pointless. But
(14:13):
that seems like what you should do if you have
a lot of money. Hey boss, Yes, I just like
to point out that, did you have a question for
Tina directly? Tina, you've been she'd been bringing up this, uh,
this fool, this this killing tigers thing. Now at every
meeting we've had for the last about six years. I've
never killed a tiger. We've never addressed this properly. Maybe
(14:33):
we just need to send Tina on a tiger hunt,
or maybe we incorporate killing tigers into fool. Let's talk
about I'm just saying, don't you muddy fool Are Ladies
and gentlemen, Welcome to the first ever professional fool Are game.
Now we have two flocks today. One flock is that
we work Flock out of Santa Monica, California, and the
(14:56):
other is the first City Bank out of Austin. Now
I'm joined here by my uncle. Uh No one knows
much about this much about this game, but it's a
new sport. But you know about competition. Of course I
know about competition. I grew up competitively. So who are
you thinking, uncle Jackie thinking? Uh, we work or for
(15:19):
City Bank? Well, I don't know we work, but I've
been screwed over by City Bank plenty of times. They
have overdraft fees on overdraft fees, and I honestly I'm
voting for them. Wow. Okay, cool, I'm sorry, but you
have to pay this fee if you want to withdraw
more money. Certain, But if I pay a feed and
I'm not going to have money to withdraw, I'm just
(15:40):
gonna close my account. Okay. Well, you have to pay
a fee to close your account. I'm not paying a fee, okay,
but you have to pay a fee if you're going
to stand here any longer? Can I can I come
back there behind this window? I want to, please, don't don't.
But there's a reason the plexiglasses there, Rhonda. Is there
an issue here? Well? Um, this gentleman here, he won't
pay his fees. Uh, sir, what about that? You do
(16:02):
look pretty safe behind that PLEXI class window. Let me
in there and let me explain. It's I'm a kind
of guy that explains things with my hands. Are you
recently out of prison? Huh? No? Have you recently killed anything?
Maybe a tiger or a person. I've never killed a tiger.
I would never tiger. That does suggest you've killed the person.
(16:22):
You've killed a person that I've never killed. Could you
just pay these fees so we can get back to work. Okay,
if you let me back there, I'll give you. I'll
give you the money. All right, it's halftime. We should
be breathing real hard right now. A lot of bitterness today.
I don't think there's enough bitter nif bitter n if. Frankly,
let's go around and ask what you're bitter about. Tell
(16:44):
me what do you got for us. I've just been
paying all these fees right at the bank yeah, yeah, right,
And how are you gonna bring that into the game.
I'm just gonna, you know, I'm just gonna I'm just
gonna see look in the eyes of the people opposite
me and see all that, all the Abraham Lincoln's and
George Washington's that have looked at me disdainfully on bills
(17:07):
my whole life. Now, that sounds good. I like your motivation,
but our key motivation in food log will always be
stay with me, our parents love much. One more time.
Our parents don't love us that much. Okay, yeah, all right,
we're getting killed out there. Man, You guys attention that
(17:32):
I'm feeling so not bitter. My sister tarebras or own
office space and I have to go to we words.
It's because my parents apported her more, we're supposed to
bring whimsy. Who the hell is gonna bring whimsy? I
don't know, Charlie, can you? Of course I can bring whimsy.
(17:55):
All you've gotta do is take that sadness and harden it.
Everybody with me, now, now, doesn't that sadness feel a
little bit more like madness? Alright? First City Bank, we
have too much bitterness and not we have Yeah, we
have all the bitterness. We need more whimsy. That's it. Okay,
(18:17):
that's it. That seems to be the problem with all
the teams ships. Okay, I was trying to find the opposite.
All right, I don't know. I'm feeling brandy. I like it.
I like it. I like it. I'm pretending I'm a bug.
I'm crawling on the ground. All right, flock, listen up.
We have one last play a right, I love to play. Okay,
(18:39):
that's good. Which play are we doing? I think we
should run the one seven, the all one seven seven? Tommy,
why don't you walk us do that again? Right? The
all one seven? That's where uh, that's where one guy
flips a coin, then all seven and the other guys
smash into each other real hard, well do in that
(19:00):
paper rock scissors thing, and whoever wins both the smash
and the paper rock scissors doesn't get fed to the
tiger that we bring out. Yeah, I'm gonna be the one.
I want to be the one. I want you to smash.
I want you to smash in me. Guys, we can't
all be the one. Well, then he should be the one.
(19:21):
So can you tell us what's going to happen on
day one of the tiger hunt place, Well, what I'd
like to have happened. And again this is just me
spit balling. We get in a sort of a safari
sort of a jeep. Yeah, we have khaki shorts, clothing,
light linen tops, some big wide brimmed hat, guns and
(19:44):
rifles most likely, And are you comfortable shooting. I've never
done it, but I think it'll be fun. We roll
out into then we have canteens across our chest fill
of cold water. We have a handsome tour guide who
doesn't speak watch English, but it's all so yummy and powerful.
He sees things we can't see because I keep talk
(20:06):
to nature in a way that we can't talk. And
we are learning about our lives, were learning about ourselves.
We're going about each other. There's romantic tension. We're looking
for tigers. Now we first we see elephants. They're beautiful,
they look to it here than you think they would,
scratchy and dry. Not a tiger. Then we'll roll on,
I imagine, maybe through some canopies, maybe see a lion.
(20:32):
Not a tag No, don't shoot the lion. No no, no, no, no,
it's a mummy lion and she's saying with other mummies,
and there's one king and he's not there. I was, Oh,
he must be busy. We keep going and then we
see a flash of orange with a smash of black.
What's that? We chool it to death right all the
(20:54):
same time. Ah, I don't like that at all. No, No,
we shouldn't shoot that. You haven't second thoughts, I am
It would be bloody and dead. And the tiger so
majestic and beautiful, and there was a mummy lions. Tiger
is not so different from a lion, is it. Could
(21:15):
we switch this to buffalo? Would that be more comfortable?
Did that? Okay? Will the beast? Maybe we shouldn't be
hunting quarter cheese? Yeah, thank you, nothing for me. I
don't know that you want to order something. I didn't
order that. I thought you'd think I like something. I
just work here in this burger king. I don't really know. Well,
(21:36):
if you see a woman alone, Mike, yeah, uh, like
this is a burger king. The quarter pounder with cheese
has never been on the menu. It will never be
on the menu. Please stop going to the McDonald's next
door stealing their wrappers and wrapping up our Burger King
burgers in it because don't you like who? You know what?
(21:59):
You are so full of bitterness. I mean I have
to say this. This McDonald's move does scream of whimsy,
but it's this bitter street. Sorry, I'm an empty like
my brother. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're fired. Good
luck finding a job doing anything where those skills will
come in handy, welcome to McDonald's. Gonna help you. Yeah,
(22:21):
this is die cooked to go. I'm gonna make a
phone call. Sure, Hi, is this the fool lug full
International high foolog International? Hi? I want to join a flock? Oh? Well,
are you better? Very? Are you second born? Definitely? Well?
Last of all, do you have a sense of whimsy? Well,
(22:42):
I used to work at a burger King and I
sold quarter pounds there quarter founders of Burger King. Come
down to the offices right now. There's an important person
that wants to meet you. Which office the one downtown?
I'll be there. I want to thank you for the
tupper tunity. Um, I feel like I'm a I'm a
(23:04):
great food log candidate. Well yeah, I mean you walked
in and you did a spin in the air, so whimsy,
that's for sure. Let me hear a little bit of
that bitterness. My brother is a medical doctor, and my
parents often forgot me on top of the roof of
the car as they were and they drive. That's that's
(23:26):
that would induces, and that is induced bitterness. Taking it
out on domestic animals. My whole life, I've hurt things,
hurt people, animals and people both. Yes, ma'am. Okay, excellent. Well,
if you'll pay this fee, we can get you on
a team seven thousand four. That is correct. I don't
(23:46):
know if I can come up with that hap of money.
We can sponsor you. Oh well, actually I can just
go down to the bank real quick. I have a
pretty good relationship with them there. Oh great, okay, so
hold pause on the sponsoring. Let me see if I
can get my own cash. Okay, you want cash? Yes? Please?
Can we come behind this plexiglass is here to protect
you from me? Wow? I never saw that one. Yeah,
(24:10):
doesn't that change your perspective? To keep you safe? It's
gonna cost you, but sure, no problem. Are you familiar
with food? Larg No? Do you have any siblings? I do?
Tell me about the order of which you were birth
I'm number two? Say no more? How would you like
to get out of this bank? Take about? I can't
(24:32):
get out from behind this dar for the both of us.
We pay a fee, We walk out into a field.
We become legendary, sir. Ma' sir? What is happening? I
can't recruit you to the next level of your life?
(24:53):
You want me to get fourteen thou dollars? Wait? Right? Yeah?
Walk out with you? We pay another fee? Where are we?
More questions do you have for me? Are you? I
want one last question for you? Are you ready for
today to be the first day of the rest of
(25:13):
your life? Sure? Every day is? Then let's do it? No, Papa, please? Yeah,
I don't know what's going on. Is someone else trying
to get behind the PLEXI glass? He's asking I'm telling
him it's for his protection, and then he wants me
to change my life? What's up? Sir? You see how
(25:39):
I had to stringle that motherfucker the bitterness. That's a
shot through my fucking fingertips. I didn't know you can
fix your arm through that hole. You didn't. That's the
whimsy of my body is supposed to be for I'm
not gonna hurt you. I'm not gonna hurt you. Scared, yes, yes, yes, yes,
I'm scared. Okay, now scared me join me? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay,
(26:06):
join me, join me. That was amazing, you want to say?
Oh okay o god, I see we just march right
onto a field right now? Why you never mind? Can
I just get my money up? Please? Yeah, you're going
to need three fees on top of your transaction fee.
Strangle fee talkinge fee confusing, and there's my check. Excellent.
(26:32):
We are going to put you on the City Bank team. Okay,
what cities that in that would be in this city? Oh? Great,
that's convenient. Yes, Cleveland, Ohio. Okay, high coach, how you
doing their kid? I'm great, I'm ready to play. I'm sorry.
You're looking for the City Bank team. Yes, oh they're
(26:54):
one building over this. This is City Bank too, but comma,
oh okay, this is been a weird day book. Every
every building has a team. They're right next door. I heard, Look, sweetheart,
your urine came back and fool of drugs and bad
(27:20):
bad gosh. I could have told you that probably other
people's blood and there too. Huh. Yes, and I am
just a little. My friend Diane, she and her husband
recently divorced. Whose idea was it though? Okay, what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that I don't want us to
go through that. Sure, So could you please explain all
(27:43):
of the levels of cocaine and explain all the levels
of coin? All right? Well, there's there's top tier like
the primop or did your worse that day under your sentence?
Oh no? Please? All right? Well, when you you you
started talking, so I would love for you to follow
through with it. Well, there's the top, dear primo cocaine,
and then well there's two kinds of cocaine. There's sativa
(28:04):
and indica, and a sativa is gonna be a real
upper and indica is gonna be like just emotionally upper. Well,
I'm sorry, coach. I guess I'm not going to be
able to be in the San Jose Sharks team. My
dad does a lot of drucks. I wish you would
have said it before I paid in that cup. Well
(28:26):
we're gonna miss you, um, but if I were just
being honest, Today is the first day of the food
larg uh sports situation. But it's also the last Today's
game was the first game ever and the last game ever.
The tigers that were endangered, that died as part of it.
(28:47):
It's part of it. But more importantly, nobody shot up
what no fans? All right? Welcome back to the second
quarterly meeting of the year, first Order Business of Courses,
to report the loss of one point four million a billion.
We still have, we have, We made a name for ourselves.
(29:10):
There's probably gonna be books, and also we still have
point two billion dollars. I'm not sure idiots was the
name we're looking for. Tim Are you saying I did
all it could to sink this particular ship, Well, I
agree to disagree fair enough, and that's gotta be seen too.
(29:33):
But it was only seen one yes, uh seen to
come from ken Ken, who writes, hello, alchemist. I'm a
huge fan of your podcast. Really helps break up my
hours of monotonous daily commute to and from law school.
And I tell everyone I can about how great your
show is. Most of them agree with me, and the
ones who don't are all idiots. Oh, I like where
(29:56):
this guy's coming from. I've got a scene idea for you.
Two seasoned patrol cops or send out to a house
on an emergency. Once they break down the door, they
realize they've interrupted a full on war crimes court proceeding
being held by school children against the neighborhood bully. All right, rookie, yeah,
(30:24):
I want you to knock on that door with purpose. Okay,
all right, okay, I mean I want want when I
tell you too, what should we go away? Let's go?
Oh goodness? For officers? Are your parents here? Um? Actually,
they're a little busy. They're working right now. Right, Well,
(30:46):
we have a warrant to search the house. What's that sound?
That's a cat. That's my cat. He's your cat tied up?
My cat has a stomach ache, poor thing. Well we
can have a veterinarian come around at some point, but
for sure, I was trained to be a field medic.
I could probably help. What are the pigs doing here? Oh?
(31:07):
Come on, that's not very nice term for us. We're cops,
were police were pretty much. I can say anything I want. Oink,
oink oink. It's kind of a hustle environment. Are you
kids playing something to Yes? Ever heard of hokots? We've
all played hop scots. But I'm here in the sounds
(31:29):
of someone tied up. I said that was my goldfriend Sea.
Can we just come in and take a quick look.
What's that smell? Oh it's bacon. Kids. You're hilarious and
fun and we don't mean to disturb the playtime. It's
(31:50):
just has been disturbing since from the neighbors have had
lots of calls. How do you wear shoes? Here? I was,
I was wondering where there's a boy in there that's
tied up? There is, so don't commit commend touch him?
(32:12):
All right, I'll go one and tie him. All right?
Excuse me stop? Do you have an extra juice box? Yes?
We do here? It is uh do you have an
extra juice No? Not for you. Okay, here's the thing.
We know that you're the law, but in this house
we have our own law. And Jason here committed a crime.
(32:32):
This is not concerned either of you. All right, Well,
let's be fair about this. What was the crime that
he committed? Crime committed? Have you ever heard of sharing? Yes,
well he hasn't. Okay, that makes me angry. I'm on
your side already. What else have you heard of? Tattle telling? Yes?
Well he has to. He loves it is a big time,
(32:55):
tattle tale, punching up, punching up. Yeah, you're supposed to
punch up, right, Big kids take on big kids punches down.
I'm not a fan of this kid's w What were
you in the midst of maybe punishing this Uh, we're
going to give him his process. Can we just witness
(33:18):
you know what we want? We honestly don't think we
should be witnessing your little tails. I would hate to
have to report. We're gonna have to write a report
about this report in due time. Let's let this play out. Also,
if you say you at the right to report, makes
me think you're a rookie. I'm not a rookie. It's
(33:39):
how many days? How many days have you been on
the second week? One page? Second week rookie? I need
you to have my back on this. We're gonna let
this play out for a couple of these. Piece of evidence.
He went up to our babysitter and said that I
(34:03):
called him dumb? Did you? I did? But he tattle
taled no further questions, and I have the tape of it.
Play the tape, play did she? And she just started out, Jason,
(34:23):
take your breath. You're gonna be so handsome one day?
What does he said? It just mean? What stop? See
he said that I was mean. Yep, yep, yep, yep, hey, rook,
(34:44):
give me that clock. I can't. We don't, we don't,
we can't. I guess I'm done asking you. You know what,
tak got all the bullets, take out the bulls. Thank you.
I really feel like I'm going to have to take
and cheap. What did I just do it? Here you go? Okay, wow,
(35:05):
pretty heavy? Oh my god, he just hit that child
over the face. Here you are, thank you very much. Okay,
the court would recognize Mackenzie recognize this is an interesting
little piece of evidence. I have that he used to
be one of my favorite two socks. Can you see
(35:27):
anything wrong with this one's luck? I can. It's soiled. Yep,
it's got a whole cut in it almost looks like
a lizard bit its way out of this has a lizard?
Jason put his lizard in my uniform side? Can I
have that taser? You shouldn't take this. Thank you. Listen,
(35:52):
I'm gonna have to go call in for that's how
the game. I can't sit this is child because this
is a fair household and the evidence has been laid out.
We will now allow Jason to speaking. It should What
(36:15):
do you have to say for yourself? Don't cry? Don't
you dare cry. You're not scared, You're not even scared.
You scared me? Scary, scary be don't be such a baby.
(36:35):
Get a chance to please? Guilty because what do you think?
What do you think you are? Okay, do you have evidence?
Where is the evidence? May the court recognize that he's
currently peeing himself. He's got drew all over his face. Okay,
(37:01):
I can't listen to him anymore. Oh my god, we
can't be here. Somebody's at the door. I gotta hello, Hi, Stacy,
I am looking for my young charge. What does that mean?
I'm a babysitter and for Jason. Oh yeah, wait, what
(37:21):
was your name? Aga, Stacy? You are very pretty. What's
happening to Jason? Why is he screaming? Officer Tim and
don't plow my cover. Don't plow my cover. He's a rookie, Stacy. Uh.
We arrived on the scene and we are observing. We're
(37:45):
just about to call this happening with Jason. Mom is
going to be really he's being brought up for charges
by his friends who we may have a bully on
our hands. I don't know what your experience is like.
Someone want to call Stacy to the stand if I may, Stacy, Hi,
I'm Jaden and this is my friend Aiden, and this
(38:07):
is mckendzie. Um Stacy, how long have you known Jason?
I've known little JJ since he was like, had no
leg hair? Three years? Okay, Aiden, how long have I
known him? No question for the um? Uh? What when?
(38:29):
How did you first meet Jason at the pool? I
met his mom? Okay, okay, and now I'm a lifeguard. Yeah,
you look at your life guard too quick? One question
and one real? Okay? Would you mind breeding Aiden's hair
like yours? Because that would be cool if it matched?
Would you mind I otherwise I'll take it. I'll just
(38:51):
take it. Has you'll take my It looks like Jason
got pistol whipped. I'm really scared. So what's going on? Uh?
The proceeding is unfolding as it should. You're familiar with
the word organic, Okay. We're drying something new with the
police force, and that is when we get onto a
(39:12):
scene if there's a domestic disturbance, we'd like to ask
some questions. In this case, we decided to observe. Jason.
I'm gonna untie you, but if you cry, you're gonna
get hurt. No, he is, yeah, he is. What about
my mom? About her? Don't talk about her mom? Don't
(39:33):
see any about my mom. If you're threatening Jade, and
I mean, if you're threatening Jason, I will tell your mother.
My mom is not an alcoholic. Yes she is, don't
say that. She absolutely is? All right? Let's she's probably
home right now. Jason, you're being charged with being mean,
a bully, not sharing, and being a tattle towel. Now
(39:53):
you have somebody here in your corner and cry and
a cry baby. I'm taking your gag off. You are mean,
mean kids, Jason? Are you okay? I wish I got
a hug like that? What a good hug. Nobody's time
to see how Jason pleads Jason guilt, Of course you're
(40:17):
not going thing's gonna go a little better for you
if maybe you own some of your behavior. Is that possible, right?
And is it possible to some of these charges against
you were true, not all of them, but some of them.
What's going on here? Hello? I'm so sorry took my pennies.
(40:40):
We didn't realize you were home. Man, you don't need
to be here. Mom, Yes, since you've been here. Bitch okay, Mom.
She when she says bitch, she means it as a compliment.
I mean because she's out of control. Yeah, that's like
a good thing. Right, what's going on office? I don't
think we realized that when she said it's the next level? Yeah,
(41:06):
welcome you about Would you like a pizza roll? Ma'am
would love Stacy. I asked for a pizza role. You'll
get one later. Bit, Mrs Baker. My mom says you're
owe her three cigarettes. Would your mom say, Jaden, you
owe her three cigarettes? He? Would your mom say, tell
me again? I can't he Jane, Okay, never mind, ma'am.
(41:29):
Would it be okay if ma'am ma'am is my mother's name?
Oh miss, I'm sorry? What was your name? I didn't
get this, triggy um. We came upon this domestic disturbance.
There were some calls, how very officer Tim, this is
to Tim rookie, Well, I would prefer not to just
(41:51):
call me a rookie uniforms baggy on you. I'm going
to grow into it. You must be timing under there.
I'm actually it's just at the it's big. I'm an
average size bout. Oh boy, does it want company? Hey, sarge,
I'm getting a distress signal from rookie Tom. Yeah, what's it?
(42:13):
What's it saying? Um, it's just it says nine number one,
number one, number one, number one num and one numb
one number one one night nine one. We just said
one one nine. At the end of everything, he said,
I'm not sure. I'd probably just disregard like a GPS
track this thing, and maybe we can get in there,
or I can just leave it alone. You know what,
asked him to send pics well scent. So now we
(42:37):
have grown ups in the room, grown ups and kind
of grown ups in the room listening to what Jason.
I want to see what happens. Okay, well, let's go
over what the penalties are going to be. I found guilty.
That's a good idea. Okay, you've got to let him go.
We'll see, Aidan. What do you think for sure? One
(42:58):
knuckle sandwich for sure, one kunckle sandwich for sure. Two
butt cheeks naked in the wind? Yeah, yeah, I want
to glue is a little nutsack. I got to take
a quick picture of the Could you guys just get
together really quick? All right, we can't let you tape
(43:23):
or this. The pictures come through you. Yeah, wow, wow,
wow wow. Check out the rack on this one. All right,
that's not come on, this is a professional environment. What
are we dealing with here? Or we're dealing with a
woman with no panties? Okay? And they seemed to be
(43:45):
children and one's tied up. Okay, that's the kind of thing.
Look at this, Let on this, look at that. Yeah,
I get it, she's not wearing panties, But what about
who is the kid that? There's a kid tight zooming on? What?
Sergeant's what? It's Jason? What give me that? That's my house?
(44:06):
That's so? Yeah, And then when your dad comes home,
you have to take his gun and throw it in
the river. Don't forget cheeks in the wind and guests
whose nuts are still glued to their legs. Well, I
think rookie Tom and I have seen all we need
(44:26):
to see. Your kids seem to have everything under control.
I would like to be all you need your telephone number,
you can have it, Okay, you can fax me too,
Can I hi? Fax and it's a one eight eight,
six to seven, next one. That's right. Okay, so it
(44:47):
sounds like you're advertised. Yeah, all right, we'll be faxing,
will be faax mere Italian food. M hmmm, it's your daughter, right.
So I haven't eating in weeks, you have to. I
(45:08):
gave a whole box of macar only this morning. I said,
making necklace to eat. Knock yourself out. It was got
stuck in my teeth. I think we need proof that
Jason isn't just being a baby, that he's also can
be a big boy, Stacy. Yeah, is it true? Jason
told me so? Maybe he's a liar? Is it true?
One time you kissed him on the cheeks? He kissed me? Okay,
(45:32):
that's pretty cool. That is cool. It was really cool.
I want to kiss you on the cheek. Okay, I'm
gonna take it. I'm gonna take your cheek. That was scary.
That's she's scary, did you Her mom is right here?
Look at this that's going to happen. You're scared? Oh,
(45:53):
who's got ants living inside their body? Me that I
haven't had a bathroom a long time. Yeah, totally alright, Sorge,
this is your home. I don't know what. You want
to kick the door down? You want to open it?
You want he's a key? You know what? God, if
that rookie was here, we could get him to knock.
It's a quick, quick question. Yeah, Stacy watches your kid? Right, Yeah,
(46:17):
don't do not. I'm just fasking well, old ship and
we're not talking about this, okay, okay, all right, all right, Um,
I do have to say the charge. And I know
you know this, but um, yeah, is this going to
hang on? It's not gonna be bad. Okay, Okay, It's
(46:39):
just that was you So you knew what my question was. Yeah,
because I know, I know me, I know my brand.
You know what I mean? When we go in there,
if something bad is happening, legally, we can't really do
much to stop it. If there is a corporating occurring. Well, yeah,
of course that's a hypothetical wild happy to the Kangaroo
Court Act. We all know it. We had to learn
it in school. I didn't mean to dispute disrespectful. So
should we go in? Yeah? Um, and hey, if Stacy
(47:02):
like he says anything like, I'll give it. I'll give
her any Wait here we go. Here, we go all right,
for God's sake, all right, free, free Sorge, Thank god
you're here, Rocky Tom. Have you met the Sorge? I
my first time meeting him. I sent him. I told him.
I told him you guys, and I told him that
there was bad things going on here. Christ we got
(47:23):
to get you a new uniform. What I meant? Tell
him up? Tell you wait a second. This is my job. Okay,
you see big is my pinky finger, right, you said,
right next to Jason. We're just going to watch this
(47:45):
whole thing happen, all right, Sorge? Is this your house? Yeah? Yeah,
it's Actually I don't know where this drunk lady came from.
I think I live next door. Yes, I was thinking
this is not my family and the picture of fireplace
I live next door. I like to play over here.
(48:05):
That's why I snuck in the window right now. You're
the Stargs, right yeah, Hey, sorry, I'm Jaden. Jane, you're Jaden.
This is a j my son tied up. Well, oh
and this is Mackenzie. Hey, sorry, cool aid, but it's okay.
This isn't a real smile. This is a kool Aid smile.
(48:25):
I know it's very very red. So as one authority
figure to to another. I'll allow it. Okay, your rookie
is also being tried for tattle telling, and your son
Jason also might be a tattle tale. So as the
adults in the room or authority figures, what do you
think we should do? How should we? Here's what I
(48:46):
think you should all of you. Get the funk out?
Can I held your gun? You get to know you
can't hold my gun. Get the funk out of my house.
Came through the window, do Stacy? Stacy? We should get going?
If you know, if he said we should get out
of the house, everybody get out of my goddamn I'm
gonna take you Stacy station stay okay, alright, alright, sorry
(49:08):
said okay. If I fact your neighbor, I have lost
control of my police force, haven't I. I'm just saying.
She's sang her facts number and it was really crazy.
Is it the one that ends in seven x y
one size? Yeah, it's But I'm not a millionaire. Yeah,
(49:30):
go ahead, and facts are just fellas. Just help me
untie my son, for God's sake, God bless once again?
Just as fails? Is that a lesson? Why are you
still here? I can't. I can't understand how to go.
(49:52):
You can use the door, you don't use the window again,
you can use I know you're here, you don't have
to use the For fox sake, Sergeant, we arrived, your
son was tied up, and when we're leaving, rookie Tom
is tied up. I think it was a great day,
do you Jesus Christ? Well, I guess I'm satisfied. Aiden,
(50:15):
I'm satisfied. I have a taser gun. Still. Yeah, okay, Well,
I guess we'll get going unless that really handsome cop
wants to take Stacy home. Yeah that sounds great. I'm
taking Oh yeah, that was part of it. Sorge, Will
you allow a gluing of the nerds? Everything and everything
(50:37):
will and if if some justice has served, I should
not have quit playing flu aren't for this? What did
you call it? I don't know what? Then? Is called
fool stables? Nuts? Do his leg? I think everything went
sideways when was introduced. All right, that's our show for today.
I want to thank all of our alchemists. Uh, James Heeney,
(51:00):
that's me, thank you so much. Pot wasn't folks find
Please go to Brief news brief dot com because there
you could see the news show I do, or you
could click other links to see other stuff. What's the show?
It's called brief News Brief. That's why Brief newsbrief dot com.
You said show, and I freaked out news the news
(51:21):
dam There is a new one coming soon though, Yeah,
I don't want to hear about it. But as the
Ryland Donny Talk writer, theater, going Strong, going crazy, going great, phenomenal.
Chris Alvarado, Chris is here. It's Joey Greer. Come, I
can't come. Oh, Joey Greer was in fact miss and
(51:44):
thank you for reminding us what he does when he's
not here. Carla Akowski, Yeah, thanks for having me. Carla
Kowski is my name and also all of my handles.
An your relation to Craig justin cousin. Please tell when
we missed him, will you? Mark Ay, thanks so much
for joining us once again, pleasure, thanks for having about
(52:07):
Uh you have some show coming to the title. Yeah,
this summer, Blood and Treasure comes to CBS Tuesdays at nine.
We premiere. This is the broadcast network from the broad
the Columbia Broadcasting Network on television proper and the title
is Blood and that's the best. That's the best. It's
(52:30):
imagine if if Indiana Jones and Carmen san Diego were
x Is forced to work together again to thwart a
blood antiquities based terrorist, and it starts when starts. Fantastic movie.
Let's thank our engineered to the stars, Dan Goodman, Dan
(52:50):
Great Doug Bam, comeback soon, but we just saw you
know when you're not here. We love Dan Goodman, our
postsound design artist Raphael Blee, our producer Sophie Lichtman. Thank
you once again for every damn thing, and our best
to Anderson Cooper. Lastly, I heart media folks. Write a review, subscribe,
(53:12):
Tell everyone you've ever met to give us a listen.
We so depend on you and your fanship, and continue
to write to us who they're scene suggestions that don't
involve food. Lar right to us at your name here
at alchemy this dot com. Your name here at alchemy
this dot com. I'm Kevin Pollack. Until next time, her
(54:03):
Ver
Alchemy This News
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Kevin Pollak
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