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March 3, 2020 29 mins

This is Amy’s ‘5th Thing’ (a bonus episode) where she answers your questions every Tuesday! ‘4 Things With Amy Brown’ comes out every Thursday, but on Tuesdays Amy answers questions you’ve emailed in. You can send your questions to 4thingswithamybrown@gmail.com.

(Episode 121)

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, Happy Tuesday. And what we do now at the
beginning of every fifth thing episode is we share a
quote because it's our new thing. I guess this is
the third week we've been doing a quote and chases
here with me. And so I tried to figure out
who said this because I saw it and I liked it,
and I was like, well, I need to credit the person,
but it's unknown, and if you happen to know who

(00:21):
said it, let me know what. I googled all over
the place and all I could get was unknown. And
it's the happiest people aren't the ones who have the most,
They're the ones who make the most of what they have.
So I just thought that was really good. Wherever you
are in life, whatever you're doing, like, maybe just take
a step back and make the most of where you

(00:42):
are and what you have, because I really feel like, well,
also figure out what drives you and what's your passion,
Like is it is it the money? Like are you
chasing the money or the success? And I don't think
success and money are bad things by any means, but
then also where's the balance with that? And like, you know,

(01:04):
you hear rich people say all the time that they
have all this money, but they're not They're not any
happier than they were. Yeah, their stress is probably different
than someone that's really struggling for money, Like how am
I going to pay my next bill? Where's my next
me I'm gonna come from? How'm gonna buy my kids
close for school? So the stresses are different, but which
I don't know what like stress Jeff Bisos has or

(01:26):
who's the Amazon guy? Um, you know, but I'm sure
he has really definitely has different stresses. Obviously he's got
stuff going on. I mean, he just got divorced from
his wife. Like that's not easy. He instantly because they
didn't have a prenup. She became the richest woman in
the world. I mean, I'm sure she has problems right
now to you like it's probably hard, um, but different

(01:49):
different things like it doesn't mean that money they can
buy a lot of things, but it can't buy happiness.
Who said that? I don't know who said that either,
but I know I'm not the first one there was.
I went to yoga on Friday for the first time
and forever, and my yoga teacher was talking about how, um,
you know, oftentimes like this generation or this people right now,

(02:15):
UM get a lot of fulfillment out of hustle and
projecting that like like, um, their status is how tired
they are or how much they're going on. And I'm like,
oh my gosh, that's me. I feel that I don't
find status in it, but I do feel like I'm tired,
especially if the people in your life are. You need

(02:38):
to wear yourself out in order to get on, yeah,
to stay up to speed. And it was just such
an encouragement to be like, you know, what, what do
you do for yourself that is meaningless, like it's it's
for you. It means it's going to get you nowhere,
but it's good for your soul? You know what is
that fun thing you can do like kid like like

(03:02):
go play? And so for me this weekend, it was
watching Love Is Blind on the couch for like four
hours with Mary in a face mask and my dad
and it was amazing, like it was so good. Now,
I don't I don't know that I'm like, not that
all those things are related, not that that was really

(03:22):
my playtime, and not that I I still think I
have a balance, but I want to I want to
be careful before I end up like that where I'm
chasing it and I don't I know that with you
because you're around the house a lot, you probably hear
me say like I'm so tired, or I feel all
over the place, or I don't know how to get
certain things done. Um, but I need to even watch

(03:44):
when I do that, because I don't want it to
come across as like that's me proclaiming my status to like,
look how busy I am. I'm making it in life,
so I like in my own way, So you're not.
You're not alone, obviously we must. Since my yoga to
d brought it up and I think she was I
don't a misquote, it's I'll find the quote, but she was.
It was from a Burnet Brown book, which for my birthday,

(04:05):
I'm going to get to meet Burnet Brown. Basically. Yes,
So my friend Lauren, she works for Burnet, and she
invited me to a live podcast taping that Burnet is
doing with Glenn and Doyle and some other people and
it's in Austin, and so I'm gonna fly to Austin
on my birthday, which is March and then go to

(04:27):
dinner with some girlfriends. Um my best member of my school,
Andrea lives there, and then Mary's going to fly in
from California, and then my friend Kara might come and
we're gonna go to dinner. And then the next day
I'm going to wake up, do the Bobby Bone Show,
then go meet Burnet, and then fly home. I mean,
I think that's pretty fitting that you're meeting Burnet Brown

(04:48):
in the middle of Gratitude Month, right, Yeah, it's March
three when you're listening to this. So we are three
days into the thirty day Gratitude Challenge, So you have
three I don't know, so twenty days left, Like join
us now? Who cares? Like if you're a few days

(05:09):
later and you're like, what is this challenge? And really
all you have to do is write down four things
every day that you're thankful for. We have a four
things gratitude journal, but I mean, if you don't have
it now, you don't need it. Just write it in
any book, take notes on your phone, Do take pictures
of the things you're thankful for and save a little
picture file or folder or something. I don't know however
you want to do it. Just make sure every day

(05:30):
you're taking time for gratitude and then if you decide
you want a journal, then radio amy dot com for that,
because our journals are super cute and they have inspiring quotes.
If you like our Tuesday quotes, we have them in
our journal. Tupac, my Angela, my Angelo, Willie Nelson, Britne Brown,
she's in there a Golden Girls quote, Like, it's full

(05:53):
of good stuff. Caroline Brian was on the Bobby Bone
Show today and she filled in for lunch Box Looks.
It's Luke Bryan's wife and she's hilarious and we rated. Um.
We did a draft for the top nineties TV shows
and she picked Golden Girls and I was like, that
is such a good one. So clutch. I love the
Golden Girls. I just watched my first episode probably three

(06:14):
months ago. What do you think. I loved it. It's
so good, like my new kind of go to when
you want something like funny in the background while you're
working and stuff. Yeah, I dig it. It's like the
opposite I love is blind. But that's a whole other conversation.
I know. But when we were watching it with my dad,
was like, Dad, you should start this at your assisted
living home, Like, get a group of people y'all all
get in like separate rooms like pods. You don't see

(06:37):
each other. They wouldn't be able to hear you. And
it's like looks don't matter at our Yeah, I can't
hear you. What if my dad did say something like
they're gonna have to put their teeth in or something
to make sure you can understand them. So I guess
the goal today too would be to try to get
the questions done fifteen minutes. But you know I'm not

(06:58):
very good at that. But did I talk about International
Women's Day? No? I haven't yet a great podcast this week. Yes,
so on Sunday is International Women's Day. Um, and that
is like we we should celebrate women all the time,
celebrate men, celebrate all the people. But yeah, we have
our own day. And then um, Mary and I decided

(07:21):
we wanted to make a sure to empower women. And
so Stashira, my daughter, actually did the artwork, and she
wrote Empowered Women, Empower Women. So it's in her handwriting
and it's got a little heart and it's so cute.
And right now when I'm talking about it, we're just
finalizing it. Like Tuesday tomorrow when you all are listening

(07:41):
to this, Mary's like going to the printer and gonna
be printing it out. But we're starting like a women
empowerment fund. And there's a group we've worked with in
Nashville before, um called Epic Girl, and they do amazing
things to empower underput privileged girls youth in our area.
Then there's another group, Baby to Baby we haven't narrowed down,

(08:02):
and that works with moms and their kids and helping
empower them. Um, we have we're talking to a few
other groups, so we don't really know quite how the
donation is going to work, but the proceeds will go
towards women empowerment and we're just excited about it and thought,
why don't we think of this sooner? First of all? Um,

(08:22):
but this is how we roll and we'll be posting
that soon on Instagram. So look at Radio Amy or
the shop Forward and we'll have that up. And I'm
super proud of Stashia because she worked hard on getting
it just right and it's going to be We hope
that y'all like it too. And if you've got daughters
or girlfriends and we all just need to encourage each other,

(08:46):
so that could be a shirt you have to remind
you and were We tried to design one too, like
a white V neck that you could wear under a
blazer with like jeans, with like heels, so it could
be dressed up. Because a lot of our stuff is
like T shirts and sweatshirts, you can't really dress up.
Wanted to make sure that this had a look where
you could do it, you know, a sweatshirt with leggings,
but also throw a blazer on and you're good to go.

(09:08):
Very cool. You into that vibe. Yeah, you love a
V neck with a blazer. I'm just sitting here on
that part, like, yeah, So did I talk about Kelsey yet?
That's Thursday? Full disclosure. We did an intro a minute
ago and I just wasn't feeling it, so I deleted
it and we start over, and I think I talked
about Kelsey. But for International Women's Day, Kelsey and I

(09:30):
took over the Country Top thirty Countdown, which is something
that I co host with Bobby, and he stepped out
and the ladies took over and I hosted that, and
she's my guest host, and so while I had her,
I went ahead and recorded a podcast with her today
too for this Thursday. So I've got Four Things with
Kelsey Ballerini and it's good. It's good. I liked it

(09:51):
a lot. She did a great job. So we all
have that to look forward to on Thursday. But right now,
let's get into today's question. All right, This first one
is from Terry Hey, Amy, I'm listen sending to today's
podcast for Regarding Positive Affirmations and heard you say the
series you're working on with well Necessities regarding eating disorders
will be a separate podcast. I subscribe follow your four

(10:12):
Things podcasts on my heart. How will I find this
additional one? Okay, so we were going to do that,
but now I think we're going to and I'm having
some meetings about it this week. We were going to
do something totally separate, but then I started to send
some confusion for people and wanted at least for the
season one. We don't even know if we're going to

(10:33):
do a season two. This could just be a one
off series. I don't know. I think it could turn
into more, but maybe for the first round. Should I
keep it on four Things because then people can just
find it and then but we can also move it
to its own series later and it can be there
but so that my people can know and not have
to search to find it, and then once they're in,

(10:55):
if they really like it, then they'll go to the
subscribe to the next series. But I just feel like
some people might be waiting for it to show up
because I was originally going to do it on four Things,
So I apologize for being wishy washy on that. It's
ultimately we are trying to figure out the best plan
and right now I think it's gonna have to be

(11:16):
on four Things when we launch it, and then maybe
it'll move over to Also, there's another podcast called the
Gray Area or the Gray something, so then we needed
to rename it, and now we might call it Outweigh
for many reasons. Lisa and I are meeting tomorrow, but
there's just some things to discuss. So that's the update

(11:36):
on that. But just know that it will be launching
the first Saturday of April wherever it launches, whether it's
four Things, but if you subscribe to four Things. That's
why I'm like, we should just do it, because then boom,
it will pop up on people's phones and they'll have
it and then we can worry about the next phase later.
But Saturday March four is going to be episode one

(12:00):
of The Gray Area. On March will release a trailer,
and then episode two will be April eleven, Episode three
April eighteenth, and then the final episode the last Saturday
of April, episode four. So that's how it's going to
play out, four episodes whole month of April on a Saturday.

(12:20):
And I'm so excited about it, like it's going to
be so good and I hope that it helps so
many people. That is the goal. If you're struggling with
any kind of disordered eating, you are not alone. And
we have stories from everyday people just like you, and
they are getting vulnerable and they're sharing when it started,
why they think it started, how they found recovery. Um.

(12:41):
They people are sharing letters to themselves, like now, to
themselves then when they were in that struggle, and you know,
hopefully you'll just know that there is freedom and you
can find it. But it takes it takes work. I'm
still working through it, and Lisa and I are going
to get into that and share a lot of that
with you. How she's helping me because I still struggle

(13:02):
daily and not that Lisa doesn't ever struggle. And this
is what she's dedicated her life too at this point.
But there's so many tools that you can have that
are you can just keep in your toolbox. They're going
to help you get through this. And that's what I
want from this series is to help people get through it. Okay,

(13:33):
next question. Okay, this next one's from Jane. Hey, Amy,
I was not going to hit fifteen minutes by the way,
We're just going over. I was wondering if you have
any ideas of items to bring over to a friend
who just had a baby. We just met, so I'm
not sure what her favorite foods are, but any suggestions
would be great. So definitely take foods that are super

(13:54):
low maintenance, possibly that can be eaten easily with one hand,
because moms are always a multitasking Um. I feel like
a big fruit bowl is really good, Like sandwiches that
are easy to eat, muffins, bagels, um, stuff they can
snack on throughout the day. I feel like fruit and
carbs like you never can go wrong with new moms.

(14:16):
Like I feel like fruit is just good. Carbs are good. UM.
And then if they have a family and they're feeding
obviously the babies on milk, but like the mom and
the dad, like cast roles are really good that they
can just throw in the oven. Forty minutes later they
pull it out and they just it's a all the
meal is in the castrole and you just take a

(14:37):
bite out it and you've got all the stuff like
the meats, the veggies or whatever, the yummy nous. Like
that I think is the most ideal. Not taking over
like you know, this side dish and this side dish,
and the chicken and then the salad and then here's
the dress. I mean, all that's really nice, but let's
just like, let's just make it easy. Let's get it done.
Take something to that they can keep in the freezer
and that they can put it in the oven when

(14:58):
they want, Like, hey, you can bake this tonight, or
you can throw it in your freezer and bake it
in two weeks or a month something like that. There
you go. Okay. Next one's from Lisa. In your recent
episode with Bobo, you mentioned a topical CBD that you're
using on your back and said it's really helping. Could
you give me some more information about it? So I
don't remember what I said in the episode with Bobo. Um,

(15:20):
it might have been something my sister gave me from
Colorado called like Mary Jane. Um. I don't even know
if you can get that, and youwhere else besides where
she lives. But in the episode last Thursday and the
Four Things, I had a CBD expert on and we
talked about, um, the benefits of CBD. So if you
haven't heard that, you should go back and listen. Um.

(15:41):
But also there's this is a cream that can be
found at the drug store and it's by a company
called Sage Lee s A. G. E. L Y. And
it's a relief and recovery CBD cream that's got really
great ingredients. It's not greasy, it's lightweight, it's cooling to
the skin. So um. The ingredients are him CBD, peppermint,
staff flower staff flower Yeah, and are gone seat, no paarabins,

(16:07):
synthetic fragrances, no soul fates. So this is definitely good.
And all you do is you put it on the
affected area like misogyn in the skin for like thirty
or sixty seconds and then repeat. And I've been using
that and I really like it, so and that's something
that I think most of you can find anywhere at
the like at the drug store. Okay, alright, This next

(16:27):
one is from Katie. She's looking for some relationship advice.
She occasionally finds herself realizing her needs aren't being met
in her relationship of almost a year. Usually it looks
like me wondering why we aren't communicating as usual or
longing for more attention. I noticed that these times tend
to come for me when my partner is really stressed
with work, or when we've recently had a hard conversation

(16:47):
and I need confirmation that things are still flourishing. Do
you and your husband have a simple way to communicate
to each other, like, Hey, I need you to know
that you need to put more focus on me right
now with coming across needy, clinging or annoying. Okay, well,
communication is so key, But I don't know that I
would say, hey, I need you to focus on me. Um,

(17:10):
but I would communicate it, but just not in a
like in a roundabout way, yeah, but in a more
roundabout way. And I don't know, Katie, if you know
your love language and your partner's love language, I don't
know where y'all are with that, but if y'all could
identify that, it might help and if he's got stress
at work, then that that's a real thing and it's

(17:35):
not fair that it it interferes in our lives. But
sometimes my stuff interferes with what Ben has going on.
Sometimes his stress interferes with me. Actually, he shared with
me a work stress he has right now, um earlier today,
and I didn't respond how he wanted me to respond,
and I was like, hold up, I'm genuinely trying to

(17:56):
help you right now. So like, just because you didn't
get the response that you wanted from me, that's not
fair because I I didn't. I didn't say anything wrong,
and I communicated that to him right away and we
were able to actually work through it, and he was
like by the end of the conversation, which was about
five minutes long, he was like, I'm sorry that I
took your initial response that way. But the thing is

(18:18):
we didn't give up. We didn't throw in the towel.
We kept communicating. So even though he was stressed and
frustrated and then took his frustration out on me because
of my answer or my what I said to him,
you know, we worked through it. And I do think
that there's times where we're not in a healthy enough
place where one of us would get frustrated and be like,
I'm not talking to you right now, like clearly, And

(18:40):
sometimes that's what you need to do is walk away.
But we're in a place where we could actually work
through it because communication is so important. The longer you
go without telling him you know that you need more attention,
the worst it's gonna get. It's just gonna build up
and get bad. So you need to communicate it. But yeah,

(19:02):
the needy clinging thing is tricky because I think from
a guy's perspective, I'd rather you communicate that up front
than go to the point where it blows up or
to the point where you're feeling clinging, because because what
is it specifically that you need? Do you need him
to hold your hand? Do you need him to massage you?
Do you need him to cuddle with you? Would you

(19:24):
like to just lay together and watch love is blind? Like,
I don't know. Without the specifics, I don't know, But
I think there's a way you can communicate without saying like, hey,
I need you to put more focus on me, Like
you can be like maybe you plan something. Maybe he
is so stressed he doesn't have time to figure it out,

(19:45):
But if you want time with him, you could be like, hey,
I know you have a lot going on, but is
there a moment where maybe you could go do something
fun together and maybe he would appreciate that too. But
show him first and then and then have that conversation
for yourself, because honestly, it may come out that he's

(20:05):
not getting what he needs from you either. So check
yourself before you wreck yourself. I mean, I don't mean
that in a mean way, but like we need to
check ourselves first before we start calling someone else out
on what we're not getting, because then maybe if you
display whatever he needs, whatever his love languages, then he'll

(20:27):
be like, oh, that was so sweet of her. I
that meant so much to me. And then when you
ask for whatever you need, he'll be like, oh, yeah,
we're in this whole relationship thing. This is what it's about.
And then if you know he's not another hen and
I don't know, good luck. Counseling, therapy, communication, communication is

(20:48):
so I just can't even stress how important it is.
And then also what we do too is we build
like speak. Speaking of Renee Brown, she talks about the
lies we stories, we tell ourselves and the lie as
we put into our head, like you could maybe build
some scenario on how eventually if you stuff it all
in you don't talk to him, that he doesn't want
to be with you anymore, and he doesn't love you

(21:10):
when you're not desirable and why are you even with
him and y'all are getting a divorce when really he's like, Babe,
I'm just busy. I'm just busy at work. Like so,
you never know good advice? All right, we got two more.
This one's from Kayla. Hey, Amy, I was listening to
an old episode about how you and Bobby met in
a restaurant. Could you explain more about how that relationship

(21:32):
flourished after the initial meeting? Um? We yeah, we met
at a restaurant. The movie became friends. We're both doing
the same triathlon, Um, like a cap city try in Austin,
and then like we would chat on my Space. I
don't know, it's like weird. Then there was a tryout

(21:55):
for his co host was leaving Jill. I went to
that talked with him there. Didn't get that job because
they weren't going to hire some random girl, even though
he's like, I really would like for you all to
hire my friend Amy didn't happen. Then we just honestly,
like Captain Touch would go to the movies. I was
dating my husband at the times. It was a little

(22:15):
bit weird, but he wasn't like trying to date me,
like we were genuinely hanging out. And then when it
didn't work out with the other co host replacement, he
finally had the leverage to be like, hey, I would
like to give Amy a try, and they let me
come in and it worked, and now I've been working
with them ever since. So I don't know. I mean,
I think we would have remained friends even if I

(22:37):
hadn't worked with him, But I don't know, maybe not
with the move to Nashville and all that, because I
definitely would still live in Austin. All Right, we got
one more. This one's from Val Hey. Amy. This is
not related to any specific podcast topics, but there's something
I've always wondered about, and maybe you have some insight,
sponsoring a child from Haiti, Africa, South America wherever. So

(23:00):
many times I've seen the commercials and I've heard the
radio campaigns to sponsor a child for just twenty dollars
a month. But I've always wondered if those sponsored children
truly benefit from their sponsored families. Are they really being fed, educated,
and clothed, or does that money basically go straight to
their government and other corporations an insight, Well, I I

(23:22):
can't speak for any radio or TV commercials. I don't
know which ones you're seeing specifically, but I did have
the founder of the Miracle Foundation on my podcast. A
couple was at the end of was it a couple
of weeks ago in January? Yeah, And she tells a
story of when she quit her job. Well, her this girlfriend.

(23:46):
They were working in news in Austin and sales. They
had great jobs, very successful, and then they just weren't fulfilled.
They like had zero of them. Like what are we doing?
So they went and got a bottle line, they went
got a map, and they quit their jobs and they
were going to travel the world. And her girlfriend looked
a her and said, Hey, I'm sponsoring this kid in

(24:07):
like India, and I want to go meet him and
my friend she's not my friend, but the founder of
the Miracle Foundation. She was like, um, yeah, right, this
kid does not exist. You're crazy. Fine, we'll go to India,
but when we get there, there's it's not there's not
gonna be a kid, like you're wasting your money. So

(24:29):
sure enough, they booked their trip, Caroline and her friend,
and they went there and they had the picture of
the kid, and they met the kid, and the kid
even had the letters that she had sent him and
pictures and things, and he was legit the kid. So
Caroline's life was changed on that trip where she was like,

(24:53):
oh my gosh. So she established Miracle Foundation while traveling
to India on that trip, and she, like her life
has since been dedicated to helping orphans around the world,
specifically in India. And I know if you were to
donate through her her organization, it would be putting put

(25:17):
to great use. And she's actually on a mission now.
If you haven't listened to that podcast episode, you should
go back and listen to it to end orphan orphanages,
which I know sounds so crazy, like how would that
be possible? But they do have a plan, and I'm
all about it. And my kids came from an orphanage,

(25:38):
and I guess I was at the mindset like more
orphanages have to happen, it's the only way, but it's not.
And Ultimately, children should have a voice, and on top
of that, if they can stay with their birth parents,
they should. And this is me coming from I became
a mom because of the sacrifice that two other moms

(25:59):
had to make. Because Stevenson and Stashia have different moms,
but I know that if Stevenson Stashira could have been
raised by their moms, that that would be the best
thing for them and their little hearts and the stuff
that they've had to go through because their moms are
loving moms. Now, there's there's obviously situations where that's not

(26:21):
going to be the best um, but that's where I mean,
nobody gave Stashira. Nobody asked her. She was ten years old,
and she made that very clear one day when we
were having a talk and I was thanking her for
being here, She's like, why are you thinking me? Basically,
she's like, nobody asked me. You took me. And I'm like,
oh my gosh, you're right, we did. And knowing now

(26:42):
what Caroline's doing, it's it's amazing work. But they're still
working with a lot of orphanages and they need donations.
So she's someone who was skeptical and then she went
there and she saw it and it's really happening. So
that would be my recommendation. Now, if you're looking for

(27:04):
a specific place to donate and get involved in that way,
check out Miracle Foundation dot org. Boom good advice. Yeah, okay,
well minutes, dang it. We were doing so good last
week we have fifteen. I felt like I just had
too much to say, so, uh, good luck with the

(27:25):
gratitude challenge thirty days. We can do it the whole
month of March. Use the hashtag four things, gratitude tag,
shop espoa um tag, Radio, Amy at Mary Underscore, Emmy
r I underscore so she could see it at the
shop forward. We all we want to see all the
posts on Instagram and we're having fun reposting people, so

(27:47):
make sure you're doing that. And then I guess, since
we're talking about that, four things pouches are customizable right now,
so you can think of four things, put them on
a cute little pouch and get them as a gift.
Get one for yourself. They're great to keep inside your
purse or your four Things to or your backpack, and
they carry all the things we're starting to put what's

(28:08):
inside your four things toted or what's inside your zipper
pouch videos, So also if you'll have those, you can
just send us sixty second videos if that you've recorded
of yourself showing what's inside your totes. We're super curious,
like we love seeing what people carry inside their stuff,
and other people are curious to like I like seeing
what you know. We had a video that was done

(28:31):
last week and they jokingly pulled out zac Efron's picture.
They're like, and my boyfriend I laughed out loud when
I saw it. So okay, well, yeah, you can go
to radio amy dot com or shop squaw dot com
for any of that stuff. S h O p E,
s p w A and a spaw means hope in

(28:52):
Haitian creole, and that's what what we do there is
when you shop with us, we're able to spread hope
two different organizations in Haiti that we we love, and
then you know you can feel good about your purchase. Okay, Chase,
I hope you have a good night. Say by to
everybody by guys, and I mean why as we'll make

(29:12):
it to thirty minutes minutes, everybody keep talking, Okay, love y'all.
So much um post about the podcast too. It's important subscribe, rate, review,
tell your friends, probably don't share this episode with them,
but like um other ones coming up, all right, and

(29:36):
remember empowered women, empower women. Keep that in mind This
week Sunday, International Women's Day, and then we'll keep you
posted on when the shirts are going to come out
because they're gonna be super cute. Okay, Bye,

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