Love on the Air - Podcast of The Whole Parent

Most of us are not very good at self-care. We often put other’s needs before ours. Especially if we are single parents, we’ve got a full load at work and a full load at home. Where is the time for ourselves? How do we make time for self-care?

One of my life-skills has been learning how to run my schedule using Google Calendar. I put all the appointments on my calendar. I remember a “hello date” sev...

Let's look into the challenges of dating as a single parent. To start, we've both got some history under our belt, kids, and some requirements for what's OK and what we simply won't ever do again.

As we navigate "dating" again, we quickly realize the rules are very different as single parents. Our experience gives us some distinct advantages in terms of recognizing what we don't want. And perhaps our unfinished healing might keep u...

I know we often want to believe that another person is going to make it all better. A lover would make us happier. A quest for love can become a casual sport or a spiritual journey. Let’s imagine that finding a lifetime partnership is our ultimate goal. Let’s look forward to years and years with our lover. Let’s plan on staying together.

First, before you find your beloved, you’ve got to become the beloved o...

It is probably not a far-fetched idea that we all have hidden pain inside our hearts and minds. Often, part of any relationship-building experience is learning that OUR emotional pain is ours alone. And the harder lesson: the emotional pain of our partners is most definitely NOT OURS.

“Stay in your lane” means learning to support your partner when they are in pain, but not to take that pain on as yours to solve. We cannot solve t...

Relationships may come and go. The relationship you have with yourself and your spirit (higher power, god, holy mother) is the only partnership that will never fail you. You can break up with yourself (it’s some form of depression or suicidal ideation) but for the most part, we have an inner voice that encourages us to move forward, to reach for the stars, and to NEVER GIVE UP.

At this moment, this morning, this sacred space I’m ho...

Love is a mutual quest. If it’s a one-sided romantic campaign, there’s going to be a shipwreck ahead as the rocks and stormy seas bring couples to the moment of truth.

To learn about love you’ve got to go out and get it. You cannot wait for love to find you. (It won’t.) You’ve got to define for yourself what love looks like, what it feels like, what it smells like, what it says when it wakes up in the morn...

There are a lot of aspects of our lives that are not under our control. One of the simple (not simple to practice) realities is this: you are your thoughts. As you dwell on anger or resentment, so is your experience of life. If you can turn your face towards the sun, the affirmations and gratitudes in your life also become your life as well. Happier. 

It's not easy to train the monkey mind to obey ...

How is it that I am in such a rush to find the next and last girlfriend/lover? I say to them, “I’m in no hurry,” but I’m kind of lying. I’m not clear what the pressure is. Lust? Passion? Loneliness? But I am sure that rushing never helps.

So I’m driving headlong towards the finish line of this story, The Off Parent. While I won’t end being the *off* parent, something about this blog/book/story line has divorce and dating written al...

In looking for that mix of love and sex it’s important to know what kinds of things turn us on and what kinds of things turn us off. Over time we learn these things about ourselves, and with a partner, we begin to learn them about the JOIN in our lovemaking. That’s where the LOVE is. It’s in having sex with the same person, knowing their ticklish spots, and their erotic zones so you can play their bodies like a nicely tuned guitar....

It’s a vicious cycle.

SEEK > ATTRACT > PURSUE > DATE > KISS > [HAPPY EVER AFTER] (THE GOAL)

but mine keeps looking more like this

SEEK > ATTRACT > PURSUE > DATE > KISS > [BREAK UP] (THE FAILURE)

But, there’s hope. Here’s the idea. If we’re failing, we’re at least learning. We’re still in the arena. We’re still working on ourselves and our relationship skills. If we find ourselves, once again, at the ending, a magical thing happens....

Let’s not kid ourselves, if we’re interested in having a relationship with someone, we are going to have to take the time to be with them. If we don’t have the time, we’re either going to make more time (prioritize) or we’re not going to make time. It’s the biggest indicator of relationship success or failure. And it even shows up in the earliest interactions as we’re starting to date.

read...

If you’ve ever tried to meditate or work on quieting your mind, you’ll know exactly what is meant by “monkey mind.” It’s the reactive, animal, untamed, stream of thoughts that course through our active consciousness all the time. Many people try to ignore or subdue the monkey mind with alcohol or hyper-fitness.

Most attempts to shut down or suppress the swirling thoughts are actually counterproductive. We try to ignore a bad though...

There’s a lot to be said about the benefits of journaling. For me, writing crystallizes the thoughts in my head. I generate structures, ideas, frameworks, for holding many different aspects of my life. Poems. Songs. Short-short stories. This blog. I write. It’s what I do. And it helps me process all that is going on around me, even in the moment, when I’m not writing it all down.

Read the entire post here: Capturing Love

Check ou...

Let’s say there’s a partner you’ve had your eyes on for some years. There appears to be mutual interest. Coffee dates are accepted with grace and laughter. The “dates’ go well. And then… nothing. You take this as a sign and move along. Still thinking about this person, but willing to take their scheduling issues as a sign. And then they’re back in your life, for your own reasons, and you’re single and you offer another coffee date....

Have you ever met someone and felt the immediate electrical shock of sexual chemistry? It is sort of the panacea most of us are seeking when we approach our next lover/relationship/partner. Maybe not everyone is into sex, but… Well, I’ll leave it at that. When the sexual chemistry is on, I know immediately that I am in trouble. I need to take sexual intelligence into consideration and not just sexual chemistry.

You can read this ...

In my conversation with Krysta Rosina, I am delighted to learn about her sex-positive approach to life and living. From an ecstatic tantric experience several years ago, she redirected her life's work. In this conversation, we explore her first massive tantric event. Wow. I was a little envious. And we quickly moved on to stories of love, intimacy, and looking for the one. 

"I was really focused on finding the perfect partner," she...

When we are mood challenged, we’ve got to assemble our care team with care and focus. You need professionals on your team. A talky doctor, a meds doctor, and others, who can guide and support you through the challenging journey ahead. If you know you’re moody, maybe begin to observe what things take you higher and what things bum you out. Do more of the good stuff and less of the bad stuff.

To my friends and lovers who have suggest...