Criminals of Isla Numus - Episode 36 - The Gang Commits Mail Fraud

Today, the team of Criminals looks into getting mixed up in the one scam to rule them all as they receive a letter inviting them to invest in "Fat Caps and Hats" a brand new investment opportunity from famed financial leader Alexandria Duskwalker. What opportunities might this open up? And will Dez survive being chased by an overzealous mailman?

• Maki (Quill Smith) - Played by David
  • Kenku Shadow Sorcerer
• Keto (Ichthyo "Theo" Glycerskin) - Played by Fatty Lumpkins
  • Kobold Echo Knight Fighter
• Feather McGregor - Played by Quinn
  • Kenku War Mage Wizard
• Rorick (Fizzlefingers) - Played by Cameron
  • Goblin Arcane Trickster Rogue
• Dez (Wingbert Featherbottom) - Played by Jackson
  • Kenku Swarmkeeper Ranger

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Credits

Character Art by: comabogbog Music by: Simon Jones Music Additional Music by: Monument Studios

© 2023 Session Zero Heroes. All rights reserved.

Episode Transcript

>> Speaker A (00:10):
Hello, weary traveler.

>> Jarjeev (00:12):
I'm not sure what strange
magic must have brought you
here, but you have stepped
into a realm of my creation. A
ah, sprawling city filled with
danger and glory and most
importantly, lots of gold. I
call it I La Nomis. Who am I,
you might ask? The name is
Jarjeev, and I'm the patron

(00:32):
deity of gambling. Long story
short, this group of idiots,
or as you may call them,
heroes, made a bet with me
that they had what it took to
make a bastrop of gold, but
left some of the key details
blank. So I filled them in
myself. I sent them to this
pocket dimension into the city

(00:53):
I had created with brand new
bodies they'd have to attune
to.

>> Skyler (00:57):
Can these fools pass my test?

>> Jarjeev (01:00):
Or will they be trapped here
forever? So experience my
world of trials and
tribulations and join
alongside this posse of
pitiful people. Or as I like
to call them, the criminals of
Isla Numis.

>> Speaker D (01:16):
Welcome back everybody, to
another episode of the
Criminals of Isla Numis. We
are on episode 36 and I know
everybody's probably feeling a
little emotionally bummed
after last episode, so we'll
do quick introductions so that
we can jump back into things.
To my right, I've got Dave
playing Maki. Joining with us,
we've got Fatty Lumpkins, who
is playing Kido. Next to him

(01:37):
we got Jackson, who's playing
dez. Then we've got Cameron,
who plays Roerick. And last
but not least, we've got
Quinn, who's playing Lil
Sauce. I'm Skyler. I'm the
Dungeon Master. I'm your big
daddy boy. And I don't know,
it's, If you ever listen to
the adventure zone, Griffin

(01:57):
McElroy and like his first
season would always do these
little bits at the beginning
where he's like, I'm your
baseball batting boy. I'm like
a big baseball batting boy.
That's right. You know, it
just like it would be
something random and it was
always really funny. Anyway,
with that being said, we're
going to jump into another
episode of Criminals of Isla
Numis.

>> Speaker E (02:16):
Foreign.

>> Speaker D (02:22):
welcome back everybody, to
another episode of Criminals.
Violet, new Miss. As I said
before, when last we left off,
you guys had managed to

>> Speaker A (02:28):
escape the facility before it
imploded.

>> Speaker D (02:31):
The Steelborn facility where
they were making the Euphoria,
to be specific, it imploded.
Nothing is left except for
the. The desk of the guy that
was running the whole thing,
which Maki had. And, Kido had
thrown out the window to help
get you guys out. And his
entrails and his entrails and
head, which the group, I

(02:52):
guess, has.

>> Speaker F (02:54):
Well, the Rock Bottom Club
has.

>> Speaker D (02:56):
Oh, you just left it for him?

>> Speaker G (02:57):
Yeah, I just.

>> Speaker F (02:57):
I left. I just sat it down and
I walked away.

>> Speaker D (03:01):
Would you be offended if you
turned around and looked back
and saw that they didn't take
it?

>> Speaker F (03:05):
Well, I'd go back and grab it.
Oh, okay.

>> Speaker D (03:07):
I'm going to say that's what
happened.

>> Speaker H (03:09):
All right.

>> Speaker F (03:09):
Then I went back, all the way
back. I look back and I see
him walking away without my G.
Right.

>> Speaker D (03:15):
First of all, you're like a
cat that brings a dead.

>> Speaker F (03:18):
I'm like, you guys. You guys
couldn't take care of it, so I
didn't know. I'm giving you
tribute and you didn't take
it.

>> Speaker I (03:23):
I'm taking it back.

>> Speaker D (03:24):
It's fair enough.

>> Speaker G (03:25):
No, that's.

>> Speaker D (03:25):
I mean, that's fair. I think
it's better that you have it.

>> Speaker F (03:27):
I can probably extract some
kind of information.

>> Speaker D (03:30):
You might be able to. He's got
a partial robot mind, so who
knows? If you can find
somebody who has some
artificing skills, might be
able to, extract some
information from that for
sure. With that being said,
it's getting pretty late.

>> Speaker G (03:44):
Are we. I just thought we were
all a Little Sauces.

>> Speaker A (03:46):
Okay.

>> Speaker D (03:46):
Yeah, we can. We can
definitely jump in there. You
guys limp and drag your way,
from the. The Condale
district, which is where
you're currently at, all the
way back to the Mediumville
district. You might take that
ferry. Cuz I think you guys
managed to get a pass of some
kind last time. I'm not 100%
sure if that's the case and
maybe you don't. Whatever the
case, one way or another, you
guys managed to get yourselves
back to Little Sauce's place

(04:08):
and crash for the night. You
guys all take a big long rest
and wake up the next morning.

>> Speaker G (04:14):
Oh, we can talk if you want to
debrief after all that. All
right.

>> Speaker D (04:19):
I thought you were debriefing.
Yeah. Over a pot of coffee
that you get from that nearby,
cafe.

>> Speaker F (04:25):
Sure.

>> Speaker D (04:26):
Yeah. Okay. So you do that.
You go get your. You guys get
a big old pot of coffee. and
you guys are all sipping on
some caffeine while you guys
debrief about what happened
last night.

>> Speaker F (04:37):
I just made a fresh pot of
coffee. Who wants some coffee?

>> Speaker G (04:41):
Fresh pot of coffee coming
right up. Hey, how you feel? A
Little sauce.

>> Speaker I (04:46):
Oh, you've been hit by a bus.

>> Speaker D (04:50):
there was a semire.

>> Speaker G (04:52):
Yeah, there was a semi steer.

>> Speaker D (04:53):
Anyway.

>> Speaker I (04:54):
A big horse Drawn cartoon ran
me over.

>> Speaker G (04:58):
That was a lightning bolt
actually.

>> Speaker I (05:01):
Oh, I don't remember that.

>> Speaker G (05:03):
Oh, good. Probably for the
best.

>> Speaker I (05:05):
What's everybody's you guys
plans from here?

>> Speaker D (05:09):
You say you guys as if you're
not part of this.

>> Speaker I (05:11):
I know. I'm saying what's
everybody think?

>> Speaker G (05:13):
I don't know. Hey, we were
talking.
I'm talking a little sauce. We
and I'm pointing to keto and
Daz. we want more planes to
get, us out of here. Okay. So
that's it. That's all we
really. Well, we want money.

>> Speaker A (05:34):
See?

>> Speaker G (05:34):
Did you remember what Jar, Jim
said? How we go back to our
world? Yeah. We meet a million
gold and up until the last
night, all of your plans that
we've been doing involved us
just not getting gold. So I'm

(05:56):
saying is let's try to just
change our frame of reference
and do more plans to get us
gold?

>> Speaker I (06:03):
I think we took down the
legionnaires. We could take
all their gold.

>> Speaker F (06:06):
DEZ writes on his little
board, it says, I refuse to
help any more civilians except
for monetary gain.

>> Speaker G (06:15):
That's basically how all of us
feel. But who are these
legionnaires? So you told us
they're like terrorists. But
like the thing I know about
terrorists is they're usually
poor and just want to blow
everything up.

>> Speaker I (06:28):
Am I wrong?

>> Speaker A (06:29):
Yeah. But how are they getting
the money

>> Speaker D (06:31):
to buy this stuff to blow
things up?

>> Speaker A (06:33):
That always blew my mind. Like
the Joker.

>> Speaker D (06:36):
The Joker just like has enough
explosives to blow up the
entire freaking Wayne Tower
one day.

>> Speaker G (06:43):
He just whales them.

>> Speaker F (06:44):
Now when it comes to the
Joker, you have to know that
the Joker is like a syndicate
of criminals.

>> Speaker D (06:49):
That's true.

>> Speaker F (06:50):
They do other criminals.

>> Speaker G (06:51):
He directs them to get their
resources.

>> Speaker F (06:55):
The Joker does the big stuff.
He does the fun stuff with the
blowing up, but he's got
minions to do the give the
money.

>> Speaker D (07:01):
With that being said, I think
the same principle applies
here. We got to become the
Joker.

>> Speaker G (07:07):
Oh, what kind of terrorist
organization are you? Like,
are they like a deep pocketed
group? Or are they just like
the crazy type that just wants
to blow everything up because
they blew up the arena? So
they're kind of more fitting
the crazy type that just blows
everything.

>> Speaker I (07:24):
Well, they got a lot of money.
and they're the ones.

>> Speaker G (07:26):
Wait, how, Wait, how do you
know that?

>> Speaker I (07:28):
So they're the ones doing the
body mods, right?

>> Speaker D (07:30):
Yeah.

>> Speaker I (07:31):
Well, you remember what's his
nut?

>> Speaker G (07:33):
what?

>> Speaker I (07:34):
What's his nut? The guy that
we just killed. I don't know,
I was knocked out.

>> Speaker G (07:37):
You're born.

>> Speaker F (07:38):
I was knocked.

>> Speaker J (07:38):
Professors.

>> Speaker G (07:39):
I was knocked out for half of
it. But you weren't knocked
out for the part at the end
where I was almost dead.

>> Speaker I (07:45):
I was. I don't remember hardly
any of it. Oh, apparently I
was hit by a

>> Speaker G (07:50):
lightning bolt, I guess. Yeah,
your memory was a little
wonky.

>> Speaker I (07:53):
Anyways, he's part of the
legionnaires, and they're
doing the body modifications
to try and live forever. So
they have a lot of money.

>> Speaker G (08:01):
Technology is kind of pricey,
and they're.

>> Speaker I (08:04):
They're.

>> Speaker G (08:04):
They.

>> Speaker I (08:05):
They. They're doing a lot of
bad stuff. So win, win, get
their money. We stop them.

>> Speaker G (08:10):
I mean, if they are rich, then
that sounds like they do have
a lot of money. That sounds
like it went for both of us.

>> Speaker A (08:15):
Huh?

>> Speaker H (08:15):
Huh?

>> Speaker G (08:16):
And remember, they're
criminals, so they can't narc
on us.

>> Speaker F (08:21):
Des nods. Des nods very
firmly. Yes, absolutely.

>> Speaker D (08:26):
You hear a knock at the door.

>> Speaker G (08:30):
I go and open it.

>> Speaker H (08:32):
They were listening.

>> Speaker D (08:33):
Oh, man.

>> Speaker H (08:34):
I knew I shouldn't have had
that election.

>> Speaker G (08:36):
That illegally stolen carriage
out front again.

>> Speaker F (08:41):
Des swings open the door. Who
is it?

>> Speaker D (08:43):
There's nobody there. But you
do notice that the little flag
on his little, mailbox. What
kind of mailbox you have?

>> Speaker I (08:48):
Oh, it's. It's a really nice
mailbox.

>> Speaker F (08:52):
Square.

>> Speaker I (08:53):
It's, like a perfect cube. It
looks like a bottle of sauce.

>> Speaker G (08:57):
Oh, nice. Like a wooden sauce
square.

>> Speaker D (09:01):
Bottle of sauce. Got it.

>> Speaker F (09:03):
As they often are.

>> Speaker J (09:04):
Very Minecraftish.

>> Speaker D (09:05):
That's what I was thinking,
too.

>> Speaker G (09:06):
Yeah, it's got, a little flag
on the side.

>> Speaker D (09:09):
Yeah, the little flag is, the

>> Speaker I (09:11):
handle for the saucepan.

>> Speaker D (09:13):
It's going off, and now it's
up.

>> Speaker I (09:16):
Right.

>> Speaker F (09:16):
Is that right, indicating that
the mail is here?

>> Speaker G (09:19):
Yes, if that's how you want
this world to work, Sure.

>> Speaker D (09:21):
I know, but I just want to
make it sound like I want
people who are listening to be
like, oh, I instantly
recognize that if it's up, it
means that there's mail there.

>> Speaker G (09:27):
But I don't. I don't have that
kind of mailbox. Well, it is
up. it means I put mail in for
the mail to take.

>> Speaker D (09:34):
Is that how it is? Okay, well,
then it is.

>> Speaker G (09:36):
Well, but then if it's.

>> Speaker H (09:37):
You can make it that.

>> Speaker E (09:38):
I don't think there's any
notifications that you have
mail.

>> Speaker G (09:40):
No, it's literally you just
check every day to see if you
have mail.

>> Speaker D (09:43):
There are. There is a letter
corner sticking out of the
mailbox door. The sauce lid.

>> Speaker F (09:50):
I'm so glad that we're
conforming to the American
idea of how mail is delivered
for the future.

>> Speaker H (09:55):
I know, right? Your own
system.

>> Speaker D (09:57):
here's what I'll say. The
mailbox, given that it is
designed to look like a jar,
you could

>> Speaker G (10:01):
have made two flags.

>> Speaker D (10:02):
That it is a jar of sauce is
clear because it is a jar. And
you see that there is a

>> Speaker G (10:07):
letter inside that seems like
faulty design. And people
steal his mail.

>> Speaker D (10:12):
That's on him. He designed.

>> Speaker F (10:14):
He did.

>> Speaker D (10:15):
He literally. I literally
asked him, what does your
mailbox look like? And he
said, it's a dark.

>> Speaker I (10:18):
It's made out of, like, wood.

>> Speaker G (10:20):
Nope, it's not.

>> Speaker D (10:21):
It's not made out of wood.
It's not made out of you.

>> Speaker H (10:23):
You gave me something to work
with. You can't blame him for
design when you changed it
yourself. he did not specify
he said wood.

>> Speaker D (10:30):
He just said wood.

>> Speaker H (10:31):
No, he said it when he first
said it.

>> Speaker J (10:33):
Well, if the sun catches it
just right, takes care of
those pesky bills.

>> Speaker F (10:37):
Listen, nobody's gonna be
stealing mail because that's a
felony, and we know that
people obey the law.

>> Speaker H (10:43):
It's a pretty big number. We
were the first criminals. This
my help, man.

>> Speaker D (10:48):
As per the name of the
podcast.

>> Speaker H (10:49):
You see the mailman walking
away from

>> Speaker D (10:52):
little Sauce's house, and you
see a, little corner.

>> Speaker H (10:56):
Wait, was that the mail? It
was the government.

>> Speaker D (11:02):
There's a corner of a letter
sticking out of the mailbox.

>> Speaker F (11:05):
You start making dog noises.

>> Speaker I (11:09):
I'll peek outside, and I'll go
grab the letter.

>> Speaker D (11:11):
Okay, you go grab the letter.
You open it up, you bring it
back, and on the letter, it
looks like a big postcard. And
it just says right on the
front of it, need gold
question mark

>> Speaker G (11:22):
junk mail for a right in the
fire.

>> Speaker H (11:24):
And you pull it out, and
you're like, ooh.

>> Speaker D (11:27):
And then you see.

>> Speaker E (11:28):
And just all that's left is a
gold weight.

>> Speaker D (11:31):
You see, letters start to
glow.

>> Speaker G (11:35):
And it says, one scam to rule
them all.

>> Speaker H (11:41):
And in the scamdom scam them.

>> Speaker D (11:43):
it says, join at the ground
level. Fat caps and hats. A
brand new business opportunity
from the brilliant mind of
Alexandria Dusk Walker.

>> Speaker J (11:57):
Wait a, minute. This is a drug
thing? You know, they were
talking about those hats. That
name. That name that was on
the list.

>> Speaker H (12:07):
Nope.

>> Speaker J (12:07):
He pulls out the list right
here.

>> Speaker G (12:09):
Don't like it. Don't like it.

>> Speaker J (12:10):
Alexandria.

>> Speaker D (12:11):
Oh, yeah, she has.

>> Speaker J (12:13):
She's like, the largest
distributor.

>> Speaker G (12:16):
That's even worse.

>> Speaker J (12:17):
Of drugs.

>> Speaker G (12:18):
That's even worse. She's
already onto us, literally.
The night after the Place blew
up. We get a letter to come
work for her.

>> Speaker J (12:27):
I look to who the letter is
addressed to.

>> Speaker F (12:30):
If there is a net, Des goes
and looks at other mailboxes
to see if everyone else got
one.

>> Speaker E (12:36):
Committing mail fraud.

>> Speaker D (12:37):
So first, criminals.

>> Speaker H (12:39):
What are you on the back?

>> Speaker D (12:40):
So Des walks out the door to
head and go look at the other
mailboxes. In the meantime,
Maki, you look at what it's
addressed to.

>> Speaker H (12:46):
It says.

>> Speaker D (12:47):
It says to feather McGregor.
And then underneath or current
resident.

>> Speaker J (12:52):
Ah.

>> Speaker F (12:53):
See?

>> Speaker J (12:53):
They don't even know.

>> Speaker D (12:54):
And then, dez, as you go look
into other people's mailboxes,
I'm assuming you're going in
the opposite direction as the
mailman just came from.

>> Speaker H (13:01):
I'm just following the
mailman. Following the
mailman. So he, like, puts a
letter in. You get ahead of
him. It's like how the.

>> Speaker D (13:12):
Oh, this guy didn't get one.

>> Speaker I (13:13):
They're on to us.

>> Speaker H (13:14):
okay. Well, then you notice
two things. One, all the.

>> Speaker D (13:17):
The mailboxes leading up to
what he's delivered so far all
have one of these in them.

>> Speaker F (13:21):
I collected all different
name.

>> Speaker H (13:23):
M. You collected all the.

>> Speaker G (13:24):
Okay.

>> Speaker D (13:24):
And then you also see every
time he reaches into his bag
and pulls out letters, you
see, like, he's just got,
like, a stack underneath the
letters. And so he's just
like, every time he grabs a
letter to deliver, he also
grabs one of these and puts it
in there.

>> Speaker G (13:38):
Oh, so these are. He's got a
stack, but they're all
addressed to each individual
address.

>> Speaker D (13:44):
Yeah. And he's got them, in or
organized. So there's going to
be one of these going into.

>> Speaker H (13:48):
I would figure she just would
have made a blank flyer. And
he just is putting it with
this. Why is she putting so
much effort into the mailing
magic? That's true.

>> Speaker D (13:56):
Well, you know, I thought it'd
be funny to put his name on
it.

>> Speaker J (13:59):
All the letters are. It's a.
It's a spell, a simple spell
that, you know, takes the mail
that's next to it, it copies
that name onto it. Or current
or current resident.

>> Speaker D (14:11):
That is cool. That is a cool
idea. I like that. And it fits
the character, too. So.

>> Speaker F (14:15):
Yeah.

>> Speaker G (14:16):
Back to back. New spells made
last night. Well, last episode
was the imploding spell, and
now it's the letter address
spell.

>> Speaker H (14:25):
Two very different spells.

>> Speaker D (14:27):
It seems like it can drip
level,

>> Speaker A (14:29):
but I feel like it's gotta at

>> Speaker D (14:30):
least be first or second to be
able to last that long over
the course of that many
addresses.

>> Speaker G (14:36):
No, it's just A writing spell
that's literally. What's it
called?

>> Speaker D (14:39):
Let's call it a first level.

>> Speaker G (14:41):
It's like he's casting a first
level spell.

>> Speaker H (14:44):
This is in the mailman.

>> Speaker D (14:45):
This is the original sender.

>> Speaker G (14:47):
Oh, okay.

>> Speaker F (14:48):
they could have made these
through, like, the course of
two weeks or something.

>> Speaker D (14:52):
That's also very possible.

>> Speaker F (14:53):
You spend eight hours casting
however many level one spells.

>> Speaker D (14:57):
Whatever the case, there you
go.

>> Speaker F (14:58):
Anyways, Des takes the rest of
his flyers just, like, down
this street. I just, I. I
followed the mailman, and I'm
either going to pickpocket the
flyers out of his mailbag, or
I'm just going to ask him for
it. But I think taking them to
secretly out of his bag would
be a lot funnier.

>> Speaker D (15:15):
I mean, I think that's
probably the only way that
he's going to do it. So. Yeah,
roll me a sleight of hand.

>> Speaker I (15:21):
All right.

>> Speaker D (15:21):
I would say, yeah, no, sleight
of hand probably fits us the
most.

>> Speaker F (15:25):
I think you're right.

>> Speaker D (15:27):
This is going to be the
caption of this episode. The
criminals go. The next step in
their criminal activity.

>> Speaker G (15:32):
Mail fraud. They commit.

>> Speaker H (15:34):
That's what the caption is,
the title. They commit mail
fraud. Question mark, question
mark. Not click fee, question
mark.

>> Speaker F (15:45):
14.

>> Speaker D (15:46):
14. Just double check

>> Speaker H (15:51):
the mailman.

>> Speaker D (15:52):
You reach in there, and it
just

>> Speaker H (15:54):
happens to be the same time
that he reaches in there and
your hands touch. And he goes,
what are you. What are you
doing with my mail?

>> Speaker F (16:03):
DEZ yells freak. And takes it
anyway.

>> Speaker H (16:07):
He goes, hi. do.

>> Speaker D (16:08):
Do, just do, like, a dexterity
save, I guess.

>> Speaker H (16:12):
He rolled a 19.

>> Speaker D (16:13):
He rolled a 20. And I said,
what? And I said, let me. Let
me try again, and we'll see.
Then he rolled a 19.

>> Speaker F (16:19):
That's not even gonna work.
That's a 14.

>> Speaker D (16:22):
So you see, you. You grab the
letters, you start sprinting
off.

>> Speaker H (16:25):
You look behind him, and all
you

>> Speaker D (16:26):
see is him leaned down, and he
takes like a. Like a runner's
pose. And as he does, you see
the muscles in his thighs
flex, and you.

>> Speaker I (16:36):
It's.

>> Speaker D (16:36):
His legs are pure muscle.

>> Speaker F (16:39):
He's a cyclist.

>> Speaker H (16:41):
No, he's a mailman.

>> Speaker D (16:43):
He twists his ankle ever so
slightly, and you just see a
cloud of dust just flies out
behind his legs. He's got his
hands in, like, a, perfectly
straight line as he. He
sprints towards you, throwing
his arms back. And you see his
lips, like, coming out, going.
As he runs up alongside you,

(17:04):
cuts in front of you and just
goes.

>> Speaker H (17:08):
That's the mail. You're
Taking.

>> Speaker D (17:11):
And he's got, like, veins are
bulging out of his entire
body.

>> Speaker H (17:15):
And he says, you better get
those back.

>> Speaker F (17:18):
Dez throws him up in the air.

>> Speaker H (17:22):
D2K pick up. And he starts
shooting his hands up, and
he's like, I'm the one that
sorts the mail too, you fool.

>> Speaker D (17:30):
And he's just snatching him
out of the air, putting them
back into a nice stack in his,
other hand. but it does offer
you an opportunity to
potentially escape.

>> Speaker F (17:39):
I'll escape.

>> Speaker G (17:40):
I'll get out of there.

>> Speaker D (17:41):
I'll get out of there.

>> Speaker G (17:41):
I wonder what's taking DEZ so
long.

>> Speaker D (17:43):
All of a sudden, in the back
door of Lil Sauce's place
opens up and there's.

>> Speaker H (17:48):
DEZ writes on the whiteboard,
do not mess with the mailman.
Oh, Greg.

>> Speaker I (17:53):
Yeah, you don't want to mess
with him.

>> Speaker H (17:54):
Have you seen his cows?

>> Speaker D (17:56):
His cows?

>> Speaker G (17:58):
Well, did you see him?

>> Speaker F (18:00):
DEZ writes on his little
board. it's not a scam.

>> Speaker H (18:02):
We're not the only ones who
got it.

>> Speaker F (18:04):
Or it's not targeted, I guess
you should say.

>> Speaker D (18:06):
Skyler, the. The game master
quickly writes down that his
next character is going to be
this massively muscular,
calved mailman.

>> Speaker F (18:15):
Just an insanely high dex.

>> Speaker D (18:17):
And he's a barbarian.

>> Speaker J (18:18):
I was thinking of that one guy
from my hero academia.

>> Speaker F (18:23):
Oh, yeah, with the. With the
rockets on his legs.

>> Speaker G (18:25):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Speaker F (18:27):
Nice.

>> Speaker D (18:28):
awesome. So you guys know that
it's not targeted towards you
guys now, so there's that.

>> Speaker G (18:32):
Okay, so it. This chick's just
hiring everyone off the street
to come work for her drug
company?

>> Speaker D (18:42):
there's a note at the bottom
of the letter that says, if
interested, please visit. And
it's an address located in the
Asgardia district.

>> Speaker J (18:51):
Isn't that where all the rich
people live?

>> Speaker D (18:53):
It is one of two places where

>> Speaker F (18:55):
a lot of the rich people live.

>> Speaker D (18:56):
Yes.

>> Speaker G (18:57):
It's in the Hoity Toity
neighborhood.

>> Speaker I (19:00):
Well, a shop like this would
be probably true.

>> Speaker D (19:02):
Yeah, actually.

>> Speaker G (19:03):
So it's a hat factory.

>> Speaker D (19:05):
It is a hat business. That's
what. You know.

>> Speaker G (19:09):
Oh, like Dino was the
connection.

>> Speaker I (19:12):
Isn't.

>> Speaker G (19:12):
Isn't that what Dino was
smuggling? Maki no, Kido Keto.
Des, isn't that what Dino was
smuggling was hats?

>> Speaker F (19:22):
Des nods in agreement.

>> Speaker G (19:23):
That's right.

>> Speaker F (19:24):
He was. They were putting the,
hats in big crates.

>> Speaker G (19:27):
Why don't we just work for
Dino? He said we he'd get us a
job working for him smuggling
hats. Remember I asked to be a
smuggler because I'm a Pro at
it.

>> Speaker F (19:36):
Des writes on his board. How
many low level thugs are
millionaires?

>> Speaker G (19:41):
That's a good point. But then
again, this job's also low
level. Line worker.

>> Speaker F (19:45):
Des erases his board. He
writes on the board. Bank job.

>> Speaker G (19:51):
I like that.

>> Speaker F (19:52):
Also, we've come full circle.

>> Speaker G (19:54):
Also, this has nothing to do
with the legionnaires, which
we also agreed is where the
money is.

>> Speaker F (20:00):
Does not.

>> Speaker G (20:02):
I mean, we also could just rob
this lady, but that has
nothing to do with the job.

>> Speaker J (20:06):
What do you say? It has
nothing to do with the
legionnaires.

>> Speaker G (20:09):
Euphoria linked to the
legionnaires.

>> Speaker J (20:11):
Yeah, that professor guy was.
He was in the legionnaire.

>> Speaker G (20:16):
Okay, but is this chick also.
You know her? She sounds,
famous.

>> Speaker J (20:24):
I would say odds are pretty
good she's a politician.

>> Speaker F (20:29):
First of all, do politicians
have any real liquid assets,
or is it just a bunch of
lucky, lucky stock exchanges?
That's why we should. I mean,
is she really a criminal? Is
she just a politician? What's
the difference?

>> Speaker D (20:46):
Lil Sauce, you have obviously
heard of Alexandria Dusk
Walker. She is a very wealthy
and very famous businesswoman.
she owns currently three
companies. One is called
Eternal Radiance, which
focuses on selling beauty
products. One is called

(21:06):
Fortune's Embrace, which is
sort of like an investment
company. You're not entirely
sure how it all works. And the
other one is called Imperious,
Empyrean Ascendancy, which is
sort of like a weird retreat,
self help type thing. Large
corporations, in the area, or
wealthy individuals with
groups will usually go out to

(21:27):
this retreat. It's supposed to
be kind of like, learn more
about yourself, discover
yourself, find your true self.
Kind of one of those things.
They might be taken into a
sweat Hut and then sold
lemonade once, they're really
hot and dried out.

>> Speaker G (21:44):
Okay, those three things sound
nice,

>> Speaker H (21:46):
but none of them had to do

>> Speaker G (21:47):
with her selling hats.

>> Speaker D (21:49):
Well, obviously, based on the
letter that you just received,
she's now starting a fourth
business.

>> Speaker I (21:53):
Also.

>> Speaker G (21:54):
Fat caps, new business,
pyramid scheme. Wait, but then
how is. If this is a new
business, I was Dino.
Smuggling her hat.

>> Speaker F (22:01):
No, they just started the
smuggling.

>> Speaker G (22:05):
Oh, yeah, that's right. I
know. Just did a shipment just
recently.

>> Speaker F (22:09):
He was fight. They were firing
Sprout because they're rolling
out this new delivery system.

>> Speaker G (22:17):
Oh, so this is all. So they.
They. That was like the trial
run, and now they're trying to
make it big.

>> Speaker F (22:24):
Correct.

>> Speaker G (22:25):
Oh, I like how. I just had a
full conversation with Des.

>> Speaker H (22:31):
He's writing all of this down
on his chest. That's why you
would just have to imply that
if it's, if he's talking

>> Speaker D (22:35):
to Roerich, I mean, all things
considered, you didn't say
like a lot of words. You'd say
like two to three words and
he'd be like, oh, and then
that means that, this and
you're like. And then this and
he's like, oh, yeah.

>> Speaker H (22:46):
And then this.

>> Speaker G (22:47):
Incorrect. Yes.

>> Speaker D (22:48):
Yeah.

>> Speaker H (22:49):
Underlining.

>> Speaker G (22:50):
Okay. Oh, Dino. Yes. Dino is
one of the guys we met at the
rocks place. The rocks. and
he's a smuggler. He's really
great guy. Definitely moved up
my best friends list since
there was an opening near the
top, recent opening. And he
smuggled hats with euphoria in

(23:13):
them to the, the factory we
went to that blew up.

>> Speaker F (23:16):
I have a question about the
appearance of these hats. We
did mention that they appeared
like knit hats, right?

>> Speaker D (23:25):
Little beanies kind of like
beanies. Yeah.

>> Speaker F (23:27):
Are we under the assumption
that these are hand knitted
hats and we just destroyed
some old ladies like 30 hours
of work?

>> Speaker D (23:36):
That's a very good point. I
would say that in a world of
magic there's definitely ways,
there's got

>> Speaker I (23:41):
to be a way to mass produce.

>> Speaker D (23:42):
Yeah, mass produce to some
extent with knitting.

>> Speaker I (23:44):
Especially if they're selling
their rugs in them.

>> Speaker J (23:45):
I won't like in Aragon, how
they make money making.

>> Speaker I (23:49):
They legit just have, they
legit just have a hundred old
ladies just like

>> Speaker G (23:53):
Happy Gilmore where he just
has the

>> Speaker H (23:55):
old folks home, just making,
making stuff for it. That's
also a fair possibility.

>> Speaker D (24:00):
Where who's making the hats?
You're not sure. But you guys
just saw completed, finished
hats. And then they were
putting, there's like a little
button pouch inside the seam
of the hat and they were
putting these, these vials
inside of them.

>> Speaker F (24:14):
I won't rest until I ruin some
geriatric woman's day.

>> Speaker D (24:18):
Jackson and I are going to go
out and just go ham on.

>> Speaker G (24:21):
Probably just elderly for a
male.

>> Speaker H (24:24):
Oh yeah, that raccoon's their
tank. Where's my Social
Security station?

>> Speaker F (24:31):
Man, those guys at Discover
are the only ones you talk to
me anymore.

>> Speaker D (24:35):
All right, so what are you
guys doing?

>> Speaker G (24:37):
Okay, so here's the trains of
thoughts.

>> Speaker J (24:42):
Good wanderer, Roy.

>> Speaker H (24:43):
Thank you.

>> Speaker G (24:45):
So my thoughts are.

>> Speaker J (24:46):
I see I got a one track mind.

>> Speaker H (24:50):
You guys might have to pick up
the pieces here.

>> Speaker G (24:52):
My brain is stuck on a loop
right now.

>> Speaker J (24:56):
Well, now that's all I can
think about.

>> Speaker H (24:58):
That's all I can think of. I
broke my print. Oh, no.

>> Speaker G (25:02):
So we can go after the
legionnaires following the
trail of this lady. We could
go work for this lady. But
that sounds like chump pace. I
don't like that idea.

>> Speaker F (25:12):
DEZ gives a thumbs down.

>> Speaker G (25:14):
Or bank job.

>> Speaker D (25:16):
Yes, I mean, all things
considered. One and two that
you just listed are
technically together. Yes,
because by working for her,
you could find out more in
theory about local banks.
Maybe that too.

>> Speaker J (25:29):
Well, maybe we build up her
confidence and then she allows
us to do the bank deposit.

>> Speaker H (25:35):
Oh, and then we could do bank
job.

>> Speaker J (25:38):
No, I just. I think if we. If
we take a job as some m.
Delivery boys or work in the
factory, we at least be able
to scope the place out without
draw on suspicion.

>> Speaker G (25:50):
Also, it's like a one time job
take.

>> Speaker J (25:53):
Yeah, I don't plan on giving
my two week notice.

>> Speaker G (25:55):
I don't really. I don't really
want to sit through hours of
training though.

>> Speaker D (26:01):
Well, you'll never know what's
required until you go on over
and find out.

>> Speaker F (26:04):
No one really watches those
videos anyway. We just like
speed click until the
slideshow is over.

>> Speaker J (26:10):
We'll get a box of donuts. It
won't be that bad.

>> Speaker E (26:13):
So we.

>> Speaker G (26:14):
We're just scouting the place.

>> Speaker J (26:17):
Seems like the easiest way to
figure out more about it. The
operation.

>> Speaker F (26:21):
So did the pamphlet kind of
like. Does it outline like a
seminar or is it just a job
opportunity?

>> Speaker D (26:27):
It just says invest, in this
amazing new business
opportunity.

>> Speaker G (26:32):
We invest?

>> Speaker D (26:33):
Yes. And then it says come
down to. And then it gives the
address.

>> Speaker G (26:36):
This isn't even a hiring. It's
just an investment
opportunity.

>> Speaker D (26:39):
It could be me, it could be an
investor time.

>> Speaker G (26:42):
Well, what's it say?

>> Speaker D (26:44):
That's what I told you. What
it says. It's. It's kind of
vague.

>> Speaker F (26:47):
What if we scope. What if we
scope out the place? Des is
writing this on his board.
what if we scope out the place
and if anybody gives money, we
just like take it. Like, okay,
surely there's a drop off box
for like investitures, right?

>> Speaker G (27:08):
We just Like a big tip jar.

>> Speaker F (27:10):
Yeah, like a big tip jar. We
just take it and we just take
the tip. We go there and
there's. If we see money, we
take it and we're out.

>> Speaker G (27:19):
And then we all act like we
don't know you.

>> Speaker H (27:22):
We go, oh, that thief.

>> Speaker G (27:25):
That definitely didn't come in
at the same time as us.

>> Speaker F (27:27):
Gotcha.

>> Speaker G (27:28):
Oh, he's getting away. Oh, I
slipped and I blocked the
door.

>> Speaker D (27:34):
All right, so you guys headed
to this address?

>> Speaker F (27:37):
Yes.

>> Speaker D (27:38):
Yes. Okay.
Okay, so you guys, you guys
are headed to the address
listed on this postcard, for
lack of better words, you
arrive, and it is this massive

(28:00):
building. Like, it sticks out
over all the others. It's
incredibly ornate. you can see
that some of the, area around,
like, the trim around the
entrance to this building has
sort of like a. A faux gold
trim around it to emphasize
the value and the monetary,
like, extravagance of this
facility. And all it says on

(28:22):
top of it is dusk Walker
Industries. You guys are just
standing outside of this
building.

>> Speaker F (28:29):
do I see any windows that I
can.

>> Speaker E (28:33):
We're like a guard or a front
desk.

>> Speaker H (28:36):
There's a.

>> Speaker D (28:37):
Well, no, you guys aren't even
inside of it. You guys are
just standing outside on the
street. Yes. There's a nice
big door. you see a.

>> Speaker E (28:44):
Does it look welcoming?

>> Speaker A (28:46):
Yeah.

>> Speaker H (28:46):
Okay.

>> Speaker D (28:47):
Absolutely.

>> Speaker G (28:47):
It's like forebodings making
ominous music around,

>> Speaker A (28:50):
like, I dare you to walk in
me.

>> Speaker G (28:52):
There's not, like, a private
property.

>> Speaker E (28:54):
Beware of dog. No trespassing.

>> Speaker H (28:56):
No, no.

>> Speaker D (28:58):
In fact, a very nice gnome
couple is walking down, and
they wave at you guys, and
then they walk inside.

>> Speaker G (29:04):
They look rich.

>> Speaker D (29:05):
They look like they're hoping
they will soon be rich. They.
Oh, you notice that they have
one of those letters in their
hand.

>> Speaker G (29:12):
Oh, they got a letter. Look,
rich. Richer than us.

>> Speaker I (29:16):
What if we somehow could turn
this whole investment thing
into them giving us money? No,
like, we send. Okay, hang on,
hang on. They're just sending
out letters saying, oh, we got
a big old nice building.

>> Speaker G (29:29):
Oh, you know what I mean?

>> Speaker I (29:31):
But if we send out letters
saying we got this investment
opportunity at, like, half
their cost, and let's say, you
know, like, 10 gold pieces,
and we can, like, 500 people
to give us 10 gold pieces.

>> Speaker G (29:42):
Why these are opportunity.

>> Speaker I (29:44):
Well, this is obviously a
scam, so we scam the people.

>> Speaker D (29:48):
I. I mean, I'm not trying to
tell you guys what to do by
any means, but I love the idea
that, like, each. Not maybe
not each one of you, but maybe
separately, you guys walk in
and. And attempt something.

>> Speaker G (30:03):
What, though?

>> Speaker A (30:04):
But that's the beauty of it.

>> Speaker D (30:05):
That's the beauty of it is
that, I mean, you guys don't
have to decide it all
together. One of you could
just walk in and, like, give
it a shot. I don't know. I
don't know.

>> Speaker A (30:12):
I'm just.

>> Speaker D (30:12):
I'm just here to.

>> Speaker F (30:13):
You mean. You mean, like, all
we all attempt to pitch a
separate scam to see

>> Speaker D (30:18):
if people give us money or. Or
just take a different route?

>> Speaker H (30:22):
I think we just need a Scam to
solve.

>> Speaker G (30:24):
Start with. Not just say, hey,
I want money.

>> Speaker H (30:27):
I mean, you guys don't even
down to try that strategy.

>> Speaker D (30:30):
To be fair, you guys don't
even know how this works yet,
so somebody's got to kind of,
like, do that. As you said,
the initial, scouting, I say
in quotation marks, to find
out how any of this even
works.

>> Speaker F (30:41):
Yeah. I was about to say. Des
puts on a fake mustache and
goes inside.

>> Speaker G (30:44):
Rorick has a costume.

>> Speaker D (30:46):
Who's going in?

>> Speaker F (30:46):
We're holding hands.

>> Speaker E (30:48):
Oh, okay.

>> Speaker D (30:48):
You're holding hands. Okay.

>> Speaker E (30:49):
You'll never suspect a gay
couple.

>> Speaker D (30:51):
DEZ and. Sorry, the Mustachio.
DEZ and, Keto. Mustachioed or
not, blonde wig.

>> Speaker H (30:59):
Oh, on a.

>> Speaker E (31:01):
On a.

>> Speaker D (31:01):
On a Cobalt. That's
interesting.

>> Speaker F (31:04):
It's. It's a real, like,
Bleakley and Jumbo situation
going on.

>> Speaker I (31:09):
I love that.

>> Speaker G (31:10):
That's great.

>> Speaker D (31:10):
Okay, so you guys go in
holding hands.

>> Speaker G (31:13):
Roark disappears behind into
an alleyway and comes back out
wearing a costume.

>> Speaker D (31:19):
Okay. Of the red.

>> Speaker G (31:22):
Oh, I don't remember what my
wrestling costume was, but,
No, I have another costume
from being a hurricane
trickster. and my costume is,
like, a bright purple and,
like, pink striped, like it
looks like in Pocahontas.

>> Speaker D (31:38):
Okay.

>> Speaker G (31:38):
But the one rich guy wears.
Yeah.

>> Speaker H (31:42):
Governor Radcliffe is like
that. It, like, puffs out
around the chest. It's got,
like, round leg things with,
like, frills on the end. And I
have a giant, like, rich

>> Speaker D (31:53):
hat on with a big old feather

>> Speaker H (31:55):
coming out of it. Yes, big
feathers.

>> Speaker D (31:56):
Okay.

>> Speaker H (31:56):
And I've got a. Cut some
glasses on. Okay. And a giant
muscle. I was hoping you're
wearing two monocles.

>> Speaker G (32:04):
I am wearing two monocles.

>> Speaker H (32:05):
That's. It's not two glasses.
It's not bare glasses. Two
monocles. And I do have a
monocle from stealing it from
the rich guy. And I had one
with the costumes. And I have
two monocles on. And I'm
walking up and I'm spinning a
cane.

>> Speaker D (32:19):
Okay.

>> Speaker H (32:19):
Like, I'm walking up that.
Behind these.

>> Speaker D (32:22):
Okay, so we'll start with DEZ
and Keto. so you guys walk
into this place as you.

>> Speaker E (32:27):
I'm the Gnomeo and Juliet.

>> Speaker D (32:29):
Come. Right. Right. it's a
very ornate. It's kind of like
walking into a fancy hotel.
Right. It's, The floors are
tiled. There's columns with
this beautiful.

>> Speaker F (32:40):
What are.

>> Speaker D (32:40):
What are countertops usually
made out of? Marble. Marble.
Thank you. there's even a
statue in the center of a big
fountain, and it looks like A
tiefling woman and she is
holding out her hand and
that's where the water spouts
out of as if magically from
her hand and then drips down
or faucets down to the, to the

(33:03):
water below in the, in the
fountain. ahead of you is a
big long front desk, also very
similar to it at a hotel.
Right. There's different like
stations that you can go to,
with a different attendant
behind each one. And in behind
one that's open, you see what
looks like a young elven man,
possibly half elf. You're not

(33:24):
sure, it's hard to tell. and
he kind of waves over

>> Speaker A (33:26):
to you and he says, excuse me
over here. I can help you.

>> Speaker F (33:30):
Welcome.

>> Speaker A (33:30):
Welcome to Dusk Walker's
industry. how can I help you
guys today?

>> Speaker F (33:36):
Dez saunters over and just,
lays feather McGregor's
invitation down on the table.
We're both Kenku. We all look
the same. I get it. He doesn't
know the difference.

>> Speaker A (33:47):
Oh, well, let me see here. Oh,
yes, of course. You received
our, invitation to partake in
the fat caps and hats. Brand
new business opportunity. I
would be more than happy to
tell you all about it.

>> Speaker E (34:01):
If you are interested, start
talking behind Des and ready
to accomplish business.

>> Speaker A (34:07):
I like that attitude. Yes. So
fat caps and hats is a brand
new industry by the brilliant
mind of Alexandria Dusk
Walker. The idea behind it is
that we have manufactured some
incredibly and beautiful, if I
might say, hats, knitted hats.
Now, what only Alexandria Dusk

(34:27):
Walker realized not long ago
is that these hats are going
to be the new trend. These
things are going to be flying
off the shelves. And we
thought to ourselves, why sell
them on shelves? We here at
Dusk Walker Industries do not
have physical stores. We would
much rather put these in the
hands of capable business
individuals to help spread the

(34:48):
wealth a little bit. So for a
small basic package and a fee
associated with it, we can get
you a whole pack of beautiful,
beautiful fat caps that you
can sell all on your own. What
do you say?

>> Speaker F (35:03):
Des, looks to Keto and he, he
mimes a triangle with his
hands.

>> Speaker E (35:09):
It sounds very much like a
pyramid scheme. I've heard it
called social marketing as
well.

>> Speaker A (35:14):
I have. I know not about any
pyramids, triangles, or other
geometric shapes outside of,
normal, normal shape usage.
With that being said, there is
a unique other side of this
opportunity as well. You see,
if you purchase a basic

(35:34):
package for only 250 gold
pieces, you get 50 different
hats. Now here's the beauty of
it is that you can sell these
Fat caps for whatever price it
is that you want. That is
entirely up to you. Some of
these caps are of similar
design to others, but some of
them are very rare. So it's
important that you be able to
market the idea that they are

(35:55):
a rare cap. Right, A rare
design. but on top of it,
there's another opportunity
hidden beneath, which is that
you too can recruit
individuals to help you sell
these caps. Because selling 50
caps is an impressive feat for
one or two individuals. Even
so, when you recruit other
individuals, they'll purchase
their basic packages. And the

(36:15):
beauty of it is that part of
the profits that they make
while they're selling their
hats will go right into your
pockets.

>> Speaker E (36:23):
I have always wanted to be my
own boss.

>> Speaker A (36:26):
Yes, that's exactly what we
here at Dusk Walker Industries
are, trying to do. Help you
all become your own bosses.

>> Speaker E (36:34):
And this means I could work
from home and I can work on my
own flexible schedule.

>> Speaker A (36:39):
You can most certainly work on
your own schedule and from
your own home, invite people
in, have what we call hat
parties.

>> Speaker E (36:46):
That's the perfect lifestyle
to raise a family with.

>> Speaker A (36:49):
Indeed, indeed. Think of the
wealth you'll accumulate.
You'll be able to send all
your kids to the wizarding
college.

>> Speaker E (36:57):
I need to start taking
pictures before, so I can
start taking pictures after.

>> Speaker A (37:02):
So can I put you down for a
basic package? Perhaps two?

>> Speaker E (37:07):
What opportunities are there
for upward growth in the
company?

>> Speaker A (37:10):
Well, of course, the more
individuals that you can
secure as employees, or as we
like to call them, your
success line, the more money
that you will be making and
the higher up that will put
you. In fact, in fact, if you
were to purchase a basic
package, you were able to sell
those 50 caps that come with
it. Buy another package, sell

(37:31):
another 50 caps, or between
the two of you, you're able to
sell 100 caps total, and
you're able to get 10 success
line individuals underneath
you. You will be moved up to
the premier sellers package.
It's a thousand gold pieces.
But of course, you'll have
more than enough once you've
sold the caps from the basic
packages, and you'll be able

(37:52):
to purchase that package,
it'll put you at a new level.
And if you can sell 500 caps
after that, you'll be put at
the CEO package. Now, here's
where it gets really
interesting is that in one
week, to help promote this
brand new business venture,
this investment opportunity,
Alexandria Duskwalker herself

(38:15):
is going to be at a huge party
event at the Worthington Event
Center. And she's going to
speak. She's going to
encourage all of you that have
been selling these incredible
camps. And she's going to do
an entire big party event.
There will be a private
dinner, even opportunity. You
can meet with her, shake her
hand, get to talk to her
yourself. That is only limited

(38:37):
to those who have achieved the
CEO package and become
prestige sellers.

>> Speaker E (38:43):
Let me confer with my partner
here. If this is an
opportunity that we want
nothing else are able to
commit to.

>> Speaker A (38:50):
Yes, this is an important
decision, a big investment,
but I would you say it's gonna
be a great one.

>> Speaker D (38:56):
But.

>> Speaker A (38:56):
Yes, yes, of course. Please
talk amongst yourself about
the possibility of getting in
on the ground floor.

>> Speaker F (39:01):
DEZ writes on his board. I. I
want money. I don't want to
spend money.

>> Speaker G (39:07):
There's a loud crack of a cane
on the, on the desk and there
is a.

>> Speaker D (39:12):
Did you just like push your
way through?

>> Speaker G (39:14):
I have, I'm on the side, I'm
on the side of them. I'm like
the end of it. And I crack my,
my cane as it hits the desk
and I goes.

>> Speaker H (39:22):
And you hear a voice.

>> Speaker G (39:23):
Okay, I'm going to try my best
to do a snobby voice, but my
goblin voice. I, don't want,
the grandfall.

>> Speaker H (39:30):
I want the.

>> Speaker A (39:32):
Well, I'm sorry, sir, but the
requirements are that you sell
at least.

>> Speaker G (39:35):
Oh, money's no expense.

>> Speaker A (39:38):
I completely understand. But
you have to keep in mind that
a big part of.

>> Speaker G (39:42):
No, I'm good friends with
Duska herself.

>> Speaker A (39:48):
Well, I'd be more than happy
to, give her a ring and let
you know that you're here and
maybe she can come down and.

>> Speaker G (39:53):
Please do.

>> Speaker D (39:55):
Okay, Give me just a moment.

>> Speaker H (39:56):
Just tell her good friend
Gaston. And I say, slapped my
belly. Which had a pillow in
it. And it, and it like just,
it wiggles and it goes.
Gaston, Belly Wiggle is here.

>> Speaker A (40:08):
Okay?

>> Speaker D (40:09):
And he turns around and he, he
gets on this little, you see
these massive, long golden
pipes that stretch upwards to
the roof of the ceiling and
kind of just disappear into
it. And he picks up what looks
like kind of like on those old
fashioned phones, how it had
the cup end that you put up to
your ear. He picks up one of
those and you see him move a
couple of numbers on the
little dial. The whole thing
looks very much like an old

(40:29):
telephone. And he puts it up
to his ear for a moment and
then he holds it up to his
mouth

>> Speaker A (40:34):
and he says, yes, we have a
Gaston. Ah, Belly Wiggle here
to see Alexandria.

>> Speaker H (40:40):
Sir Gaston.

>> Speaker A (40:41):
Oh, my apologies, Sir Gaston
Esquire Esquire.

>> Speaker D (40:45):
And he holds, up the earpiece
to his ear for a moment, and

>> Speaker A (40:50):
he says, oh, I see. all right,
thank you.

>> Speaker D (40:53):
And he places it back down,
and he walks.

>> Speaker H (40:55):
I let myself up, and I raised
her walking.

>> Speaker A (40:57):
Oh, excuse me, sir.

>> Speaker D (41:00):
And, you walk towards the
door, and you hear, like, a
sound, and as you approach it
and you reach for it. It's
locked.

>> Speaker H (41:09):
I do just.

>> Speaker A (41:11):
I'm sorry, sir, but,
Alexandria Duskwalker, ah, is
in a meeting right now. she's
unable to see any guests at
the moment.

>> Speaker F (41:19):
while he. While he's
distracted with Roark. Can I
tell if anyone's already
purchased a package?

>> Speaker D (41:25):
The couple that walked in
before you guys, they are,
like, reaching in their. Their
wallets and their. Or their
purse or whatever, and they're
pulling out money.

>> Speaker E (41:33):
But is.

>> Speaker F (41:33):
Is there, like, a lock box
behind the counter?

>> Speaker G (41:36):
Say, when he turned around,
could we see, like, a spot
where he's putting the money?

>> Speaker D (41:40):
you watch this couple as
they're doing their
transaction, and he takes the
money, and you see him drop it
into a tube. No, no, that
actually looks a lot like the
ones that shoot up into the.

>> Speaker G (41:51):
Yeah, the tube goes up as
well.

>> Speaker D (41:54):
You're not sure if it goes up
or down this one.

>> Speaker A (41:57):
Yeah.

>> Speaker D (41:58):
Sorry, it's not the same tubes
that they used for the phone.

>> Speaker E (42:00):
Uhhuh. Uh-huh.

>> Speaker F (42:01):
But he dropped it on.

>> Speaker D (42:02):
He drops it into this tube
that's on his side of the
desk.

>> Speaker F (42:06):
Okay. Or her, I guess.

>> Speaker D (42:07):
I didn't establish who the
other.

>> Speaker F (42:08):
So I guess we can't tell if
it, like, L shapes and then
up. right.

>> Speaker D (42:11):
Right.

>> Speaker F (42:12):
But we can maybe assume that
there's a basement or a sub
basement, even.

>> Speaker H (42:16):
Is there.

>> Speaker G (42:18):
Why. Wait, is there a. Is this
premise the factory where
these hats are made?

>> Speaker A (42:28):
No, sir. The hats are made
outside of this facility. this
is just where we have set up
this business. This, this
investment opportunity.

>> Speaker G (42:36):
It's like. Oh, interesting.
It's like her investment. Is
this related to her investment
practices, or is this his own
thing? She has an investment
firm?

>> Speaker D (42:50):
Oh, yes.

>> Speaker A (42:51):
Oh, you're speaking about.

>> Speaker G (42:52):
so this is different. Okay.

>> Speaker A (42:55):
Fortune's Embrace. Yes.

>> Speaker G (42:56):
I was rather curious why it
wasn't at her firm. Fortunes
of Grace.

>> Speaker A (43:02):
No, no, no, sir. You can do
your Fortunes Embrace,
activities here, too. sorry,
my apologies. Yes. Dusk Walker
Industries. You can do any of.

>> Speaker D (43:10):
Of,

>> Speaker A (43:11):
You can partake in any of Dusk
Walker's businesses here.

>> Speaker D (43:16):
I just assumed in my sincerest
apology for doing so, they
were

>> Speaker A (43:20):
here for the Brand new fat
caps and hats.

>> Speaker H (43:23):
No, I was here to check up

>> Speaker G (43:24):
on all of my investment
opportunities.

>> Speaker A (43:27):
Yes, of course. we can have an
associate come out and meet
you to discuss your,
investment with fortunes
embrace. Yes, of course. I
can. I can definitely call
somebody in for that.

>> Speaker G (43:36):
Oh, splendid.

>> Speaker A (43:37):
Yes.

>> Speaker G (43:37):
Okay, I'll wait. And I just
sit down on the floor.

>> Speaker A (43:40):
Yes. Oh, there are chairs,
sir, if you would like to be a
bit more comfortable.

>> Speaker H (43:45):
Help me up. I wiggle my
fingers.

>> Speaker A (43:49):
I'll get somebody for that.

>> Speaker D (43:51):
And he turns around and he
pulls up the other phone and
he dials a different set of
numbers and he

>> Speaker A (43:55):
says, yes, we have somebody
here who is, here to speak
about their fortunes.
investment wheels. Yes, yes,
of course. Okay, fantastic.
Alexis will be out in just a
moment to help you, sir.

>> Speaker H (44:05):
Stand it. Roark looks at you
guys. He goes. I had no idea.
What I'm gonna do

>> Speaker F (44:12):
is. Can I. Can I see? Were the
stairs behind the locked door
or like a lift? What did
Roark, when he was gonna go
speak with the head?

>> Speaker D (44:23):
They were already closed. It's
just you heard the trunk to
suggest that something.

>> Speaker F (44:27):
Gotcha. Now, is that like a
door to a stairwell or just a
door?

>> Speaker G (44:33):
I don't know. That's what
Rourke assumed it was. It was
the staircase.

>> Speaker F (44:37):
Gotcha.

>> Speaker G (44:38):
How many doors are in this
room?

>> Speaker D (44:40):
I'd say there's a set on
either side.

>> Speaker G (44:42):
Oh, okay.

>> Speaker F (44:43):
I go to the side that wasn't
locked.

>> Speaker G (44:46):
Okay.

>> Speaker A (44:47):
sure.

>> Speaker F (44:48):
I turn around, I'm crossing my
legs, doing the potty dance.

>> Speaker A (44:51):
Oh, you need to use the
facilities. Yes, of course.
Well, unfortunately, the
bathrooms are for customers
only. but I'd be more than
happy to allow you into the
restrooms if you were
interested in purchasing a
basic package, which would
then put you into customer
status.

>> Speaker E (45:07):
We are interested in the basic
package. However, our short
list of potential clients have
very specific needs. So I'm
wondering if you have in your
inventory a set of periwinkle
hats.

>> Speaker A (45:24):
Explicitly.

>> Speaker E (45:25):
Explicitly periwinkle. That is
the only color they will buy.

>> Speaker D (45:29):
Otherwise, I may have a
package.

>> Speaker E (45:32):
You should go check the back.

>> Speaker A (45:33):
Majority periwinkle. We
certainly wouldn't have. We
try to avoid too many
duplicates in. In the, in the
hat coloration.

>> Speaker E (45:40):
This is for a school uniform.
They must all be periwinkle.

>> Speaker H (45:46):
Well, if I were you, Pembroke
M. I went there.

>> Speaker G (45:49):
see, class of 45.

>> Speaker A (45:53):
Well, if I were you, I would.

>> Speaker E (45:54):
No, you wouldn't want to be
the only student with a
magenta hat while all your
Peers wear periwinkle. It's
just any meaning the magenta.

>> Speaker H (46:03):
No, Sorry.

>> Speaker A (46:05):
Well, I completely understand
the, need, unfortunately, this
particular, investment
opportunity, it's not equipped
quite for something like that.
But, with that being said, I
would highly recommend, if you
would be

>> Speaker H (46:15):
interested, I need your hats
on four. And I. I stand up,
and I slap my cane. Your hats
on to Pembroke standard.

>> Speaker A (46:24):
Well, they certainly would be
of Pembroke Standard. But if
you were to purchase multiple
basic packages, you would have
a very good chance of having
enough periwinkle hats that
would allow you to distribute
to the entire school, body at
the, What was the universe or
the school again?

>> Speaker H (46:40):
Penbrooke.

>> Speaker A (46:41):
Penbrooke.

>> Speaker H (46:41):
Yes.

>> Speaker A (46:42):
Penbrook. And who knows? You
might even have some magenta
hats, which you could then
sell to the other school and,
therefore increasing your
profits.

>> Speaker G (46:50):
Do not sell, to Pine Brook.
They are the lesser of the
books.

>> Speaker D (46:57):
Exactly.

>> Speaker G (46:58):
The.

>> Speaker E (46:59):
The very nature of selling to
the opposition would then
discredit our entire sales and
partnership.

>> Speaker A (47:07):
Well, then, of course, you
would have plenty of inventory
to sell, in an individual
basis or, maybe to another
customer who is a little bit
less, specific. Whatever the
case, the way that you run
this business is entirely, for
you to decide and for you to,
profit from. Are you okay,
sir?

>> Speaker D (47:25):
Do you need a glass of water?

>> Speaker G (47:26):
Something in my throat. You
say, hey, can run it however
they want. This gentleman
wants 50

>> Speaker E (47:34):
periwinkle periwinkle hats.

>> Speaker H (47:36):
And you're saying that can't
be. I grew up on my standard
at

>> Speaker G (47:41):
my company, where the
customer.

>> Speaker H (47:43):
And I slap my cane can on his
desk is always right. Could I
make a charm rollers
persuasion roll? I'm trying to
convince him to do

>> Speaker G (47:54):
what he wants, which is to get

>> Speaker D (47:56):
him a, pack of exclusively.

>> Speaker H (47:58):
He wants a specific pack.

>> Speaker G (47:59):
And I think he's trying to get
him to leave or get someone to
go get this.

>> Speaker E (48:03):
To go to the back room.

>> Speaker G (48:05):
He wants a back room him to
leave or something.

>> Speaker F (48:07):
Okay, okay.

>> Speaker G (48:08):
Okay.

>> Speaker F (48:08):
What you.

>> Speaker G (48:08):
I rolled a 20. Not natural.

>> Speaker D (48:10):
Okay.

>> Speaker A (48:10):
Give me just a moment.

>> Speaker H (48:12):
Excel seal.

>> Speaker I (48:13):
He.

>> Speaker H (48:13):
He stepped.

>> Speaker D (48:14):
He turns around. He turns
around and he goes over to,
the back wall. And he looks
over at the other associate
that's working with the
gnomes, at the moment, and he
says,

>> Speaker A (48:21):
I will be right back. this
will only take a moment, I'm
sure. Alexis is going to be
out in just a moment as well.
she will help the, individual
over on the floor.

>> Speaker F (48:30):
Somebody reach over and unlock
the doors.

>> Speaker G (48:32):
Oh, I can. Okay, I've mage
hand invisible.

>> Speaker D (48:35):
Okay. He walks over and he
starts to dial and as the the
spinny thing retracts on the
dial, all of a sudden he goes
and just drops through the
floor.

>> Speaker G (48:47):
I'm gonna, I guess do mage
hand to was there.

>> Speaker H (48:51):
I was watching him.

>> Speaker G (48:52):
No I wasn't because I wasn't
looking at the door. I don't
know what button to push when
he locked the door. So never
mind. I'm just going to stand
there and Mike all right.

>> Speaker D (49:02):
With that, I think we will
close things out for tonight
to leave you guys with enough
time to determine how you will
go forward with this potential
amazing opportunity. Business
opportunity at Fat Caps.

>> Skyler (49:20):
Thank you so much for
listening to Criminals of Isla
Numis, a Dungeons Dragons 5th
edition actual play podcast
set in a homebrew world
created by me, Skyler Gorsett.
If you've been enjoying our
show so far, be sure to like,
follow and subscribe wherever
it is that you're streaming
from, whether that be Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or
anywhere else that podcast can
be streamed. Or just check us
out on our website

(49:40):
session0heroes.com
Additionally, if you enjoy
COIN, you might enjoy some of
Session Zero Heroes, other
shows such as our Benders and
Brews and Avatar Legends and
Actual Play where we jump into
the world of Avatar, the Last
Airbender and Legend of Korra
using the Avatar Legends
system created by Magpie Games
or one of our various one
shots which we are currently
coming out with, where we use

(50:02):
a variety of games and TTRPG
systems to tell a variety of
fun, exciting, emotional and
hilarious stories. Within our
group, we have all sorts of
other content that we highly
recommend checking out within
the SZH channel and more to
come in the future. To find
out more about what we do at
Session Zero Heroes and to

>> Speaker D (50:19):
keep up with a lot of the

>> Skyler (50:20):
other content we produce and
be made aware of, future
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Be sure to follow us on social
media, on Facebook, x
Instagram, and Discord. These
are all great ways to get in
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meantime, thank you so much
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(50:41):
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stay heroic until we roll.