October 26, 2024 • 30 mins
Elizabeth Elder, is the founder of Steel Magnolia Moms, a support organization for moms who have kids with special needs. Cindy Mood is their membership chair and Bethany Sauer is a member, artist and vendor at their special events. They share their stories of connecting with other women and finding support among peers – the only people who can truly understand what having a kid with special needs is really like. They also have a meeting for men – father are not abandoned! You can be a part of the group. Joining is free on their website / Facebook page. Go to: www.Steelmagnoliamoms.com
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Houston, PA, Houston's public affairs show, an iHeartMedia broadcast.
Our disclaimer says that the opinion is express on this
show do not necessarily reflect those hell by this radio station,
its management staff, for any of its advertisers. My name
is Laurent I am the Texan from France and I
get to welcome Steele Magnolia Moms on the show again.
(00:29):
There are support group from moms who have kids with
special needs, and their founder, Elizabeth Elder, is someone who
discovered that she was having problems finding other people who
were dealing with the same stresses and challenges in her life.
Elizabeth is mother to annabel Blair and Clark, and Annabelle
(00:52):
had Lee syndrome. She passed away about three years ago. Blair,
her brother, who's thirteen now were almost thirteen, also has
Lee syndrome. He's striving and doing well in Clarcus seven.
And she discovered that losing a child was something that
was particularly lonely if you didn't have anybody else around
you who even had any idea of what you were
dealing with, and so she created Steel Magnolia Moms. And
(01:16):
what's extraordinary to me about this story is that it
is the most foundational example of the can do spirit
I've met in Texas and Houston since I moved there
in the early nineties. You know, you can incorporate a
business by just going to city hall and paying a
small fee and running down. You're at your business address
and you're done. You are in business as legally registered
(01:36):
Americans don't appreciate just how amazing that is. That the
fact that our bureaucracy, which is unfortunately growing, is not
so big yet that you can't do things. And when
it comes to creating nonprofits, and Steel Magnolia Moms is
a legit five oh one C three licensed nonprofit organization,
all it takes really is the will to do it
(01:56):
in the elbow grease. And it's the elbow grease that
most of us we don't go from hey, I'd like
to do something like this to actually doing it. But
in Houston we have a higher concentration of can do spirit,
so to speak, and that's what Elizabeth Elder has contributed
to our community. We have this new organization called Steel
Magnolia Moms. If you're a mother with special needs, you
can go to Steel Magnoliamoms dot com. And find a
(02:20):
support group instantly, and it's there. It's a bunch of
moms that are in a similar situation, that are dealing
with very serious problems, and they support each other by
doing nice things for each other. I guess the nicest
thing they do for each other is to ashally lend
an ear to each other. With Elizabeth Elder today is
Bethany Sower. She is a member of the Steel Magnolia Moms.
(02:42):
She's also an artist. She's a watercolor Arliss. She gave
me some beautiful Texas flag cards. She's been in business
since twenty seventeen, I think, and she met Elizabeth at
an event where they start talking about the art and
discover that they had a lot in common. Bethany is
mom to Reagan who is five, Hartley who is three,
(03:04):
and Tatum, who is one. Bethany's business be Sweet Ink.
Her last name is sour, so her business name is
be Sweet You Gotta love it Now. She contributes to
Magnolia Moms and with them is Cindy Mood. Cindy is
the membership chair for Magnolia Moms. So she put some
Elburg reads in the on the back office. If you will.
(03:25):
She has mother du Zippy who is three, and Loreena,
who is five. We mentioned I don't usually mention people's
kids when I introduce them, but I do it this
time because that's what Steel Magnolia Moms is all about.
It's about the kids and fostering an environment for the
mothers who create these wonderful kids and take care of them.
And Elizabeth, I know that I've kind of briefly gone
(03:46):
over the purpose of your organization, but it's worth mentioning
that you were just having a conversation with other ladies
in a hairshop, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Very close and then nail salon.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, all right, fine, it's the hair on your finger front, Lauren.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I was getting my nails polished and overheard two women
talking about their recent trip to Disney and kind of
the best way to cut the lines, and one of
them had a hack that without having to pay for
the expensive right, yes, exactly there No, but one of
(04:22):
them said, well, man, if my kids just you know,
had a wheelchair, perhaps I could rent one. And ironically,
my eldest daughter, Annabelle, had just gotten her first wheelchair
and I was having a very hard time accepting it,
and it was parked in the corner of our dining
room and had it been used, and so anyway, it
that led me to it kind of lit a fire
(04:47):
where I wanted to advocate for my children and I
wanted these two moms to have a teachable moment, and
so ended up going on to Facebook and reaching out
to the name group and said, you know, listen, your
children are so lucky to have legs that are strong
enough to stand in line. And from there I had
(05:10):
so many moms comment that they also had children with
special needs. And it was remarkable because prior to that
I had felt so alone and I suddenly had all
these women coming together, and from that we've built this
beautiful sisterhood and nonprofit organization where we are supporting moms
(05:34):
and their families through programs and events, and it's just
it's wonderful. It's it has saved me and many dark
periods of my life, including when Annabelle passed away, and
now I have all these beautiful women, two of them
sitting here next to me, helping to grow this organization
(05:55):
so we can really meet the meet the needs of
these moms.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
When you sent out your missive on Facebook and we've
all done that right, but usually it just dies in
a dark corner of the Internet, which is where they belong.
But this cry for help brought in a bunch of
people to chime in, and I wonder how many of
them did you know? Do you know what percentage of
them were new people? Did your post reach people outside
of your circles or oh one percent? Okay, so we're
(06:21):
talking about a lot of people writing in.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yes. In fact, I think the organization the Sorry the
group on Facebook at the time, had like eleven thousand
members and okay, wow, okay, you know it was a
large group, neighborhood based and memorial all the women who
came in to say, oh my gosh, I also have
a child with special needs. Had I heard that, that
really would have struck a chord too, or I would
(06:46):
not have been as nice I would have. You know,
wopped that lady upside the head, all the different comments
you did something better? Well? And actually what was funny
about that is I did the post. I was letting
my toenails dry, and then I thought, well, this is
going to be all for not if these moms don't
read it. So before I left, I walked up to
one of them and I was like, hey, are you
(07:07):
and your friend happened to be on this specific Facebook group?
And she said, uh huh. And I was like, oh, okay, great,
well there's a post. I just I think that the
two of you should read it. And she gave me
this really nice smile. I was like, great, thanks, I
look forward to it and immediately I thought, oh gosh,
I got to high tail it out of here. So anyway,
(07:28):
that's how it all.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Funus and get out. That's the strategy. Yeah, So, Elizabeth,
when I mentioned earlier that it was so easy to
incorporate a business in this country, it's similarly easy to
create a nonprofit. It's paperwork, a little bit of ailable grease,
but most people don't do it. What we're interested is,
why did you go from thinking about something You had
(07:52):
this idea, You found out that others thought it was
a good idea for some reason. Unlike most people, you
earned your idea into reality. What was to trigger? How
can we inspire people who are listening. There's somebody listening
to this show right now. They're thinking to themselves, I've
had an idea for something that helps the community. I
just having gotten off my butt to actually do it,
(08:14):
but I know it would work, so we know it's
a trigger.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, it really grew organically, and I'll say the first
trigger was my personal need for it. At the time,
I had two children, both of whom had special needs,
and I felt so completely alone. And as soon as
these women responded to my post and had that, we
immediately had that connection. But it was on a Facebook group.
(08:40):
I wanted to meet these moms in person. I wanted
to hug them, I wanted to cry with them, I
wanted to laugh with them. I wanted them to be
my friends. And I think that that's the key word
because with still Magnoia Moms, we foster friendships. We do
it in many different ways, and we also have programs.
But at the end of the day, if I had
helped facilitate a new friend for a mom who is
(09:03):
felt alone, then I feel like we've done the greatest service,
because that's that's the gift that can keep giving. So
I originally started it by organizing a fun mom's night out.
And when I saw the passion of these moms when
(09:24):
they came together, and the power of the collective energy,
this beautiful, feminine, strong energy coming together, it was recharging
and it was so inspiring to me, and I went
home that night just feeling so fired up and so
(09:44):
hopeful for our future and my children's future. And I
don't know it did it sparks something in me? And
I have not done it alone. What's so wonderful about
Still Magnoia Moms? As we continued to grow, and we
were very much supported by the moms. I mean really,
(10:07):
all of our volunteers are the moms, the chairs, you know,
the original board of directors, they were all Still Magnoia
Moms themselves, and so it's easy for us to then
figure out the best way to support them. I don't know,
it's amazing. It has been fun to watch, and it
has been such an honor to lead these women and
(10:30):
to be joined with these by these women all my life.
It's such a testament to the kind of leader that
you are because you have just this passion and this
excitement and just the fact that you're social and you're
you're ready to like have a good time. I walked
(10:51):
into this group terrified.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I was like thinking, again, we were just going to
talk about our kids and just cry all the time.
And I'm like, wait, we can all just relate and
kind of leave it there and then like build relationships
on that. I walk out of those meetings proud to
be a Steel Magnolia Mom. I'm like so thankful that
I'm able to be part of this group and like
go deep with these relationships right off the bat, because
(11:14):
we all automatically know we have a herd. But we're
gonna be okay and we're gonna be better because of this. Yeah,
you've created something amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
No, thank you, Bethany.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You are listening to Houston PA, Houston's Public Affairs Show.
My name is Laurent and my guests to there are
here from Steel Magnolia Moms. They're online at Steel Magnolia
Moms dot com. That's your fourth first point of contact.
That's very easy to remember. Steal Magnolia moms dot com.
If you actually want to sign up, it's free and
(11:45):
all you have to do is follow a link on
their website. You go to the Facebook page. Obviously, a
small organization like this has been wise to use an
established platform for communication, and so Elizabeth Elder, the founder
of Steel Magne Moms, is taken care of all of that.
She has a staff to help. But you get in contact,
and as I mentioned earlier, it's an instant support group
(12:08):
that you have instantly, you'll be invited to the first
event if you have concerns and any questions. It's an
immediate fountain of knowledge and support. And I think that
it's we can only overlook how important that is to
help ourselves psychologically and emotionally when we're going through something difficult.
(12:31):
With Elizabeth Elder is Bethany Souer. She is a member
and she's a watercolor artist. She's a vendor and you'll
be able to see her work if you frequent Steel
Magnolia Moms and Cindy mood is their membership chair. Cindy
will let me ask you, since you're actually in the organization,
how did you get in? How did you meet with it?
(12:52):
And I guess before you answer that, I wanted to
mention that what Elizabeth described and what triggered her into
creating this organization as a simple matter of will, most
of us aren't leaders. Fewer of us are leaders, and
we should be thankful that we live in a community
(13:12):
like Texas and Houston that fosters that kind of thinking,
because we just have a higher rate of people like
that that come up in our society and create this organizations.
Houston is really rich in philanthropy is because it's full
of people like Elizabeth Elder and Bethany and Cindy who
get on board of these organizations and make them work.
How old is your son?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
My son, Zippy is three years old. And when he
was a baby, it was overwhelming. I just felt like
I was drowning all the time. I couldn't get my
head above water. It was a lot to manage all
of his appointments and all of the new information that
I was having to digest emotionally and also physically, just
taking care of him along with his sister, who was
(13:56):
not even two years old when he was born.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
What was he diagnosed with?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
He has a rare condition called arthro grayposis, and arthro
grayposis basically means stiff joints, weak muscles.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
It's so he has mobility problems.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yes, it's a muscular skeletal condition.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah. So obviously he needs a lot of help, and
he has an active little sister.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Yeah, So how did you find out about magnolia?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Mom?
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Yeah, so when I was at one of his appointments,
then the one of the therapists said, oh, do you
know about Steel Magnolia Moms And I said, I have
never heard of that. That's another new thing for me
to figure out. And she's like, oh no, no, you
don't have to figure anything out about it. You just
have to be a mom, which you already are, to
special needs kid, which you already are, and you will
(14:44):
have a support group. And I was like, Okay, tell
me more. And so I looked it up and it's
free to become a member on Facebook and join the group.
But I quickly learned that if I wanted to do
even more than that, I could just forty nine dollars
for the year and I could be a social member,
which basically gave me full access to all the events
(15:05):
and programs. And they also have scholarships if you need
a scholarship, by the way.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
So you can't ask.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
That's now very great for anybody on any budget.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
These scholarships for the kids or for the moms.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well both scholarship to be a social member, because we
don't want anybody to not have.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
The scholarship is for the membership.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Now we do scholarships for camps and our Happy Campers program.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That's separate Yeah, okay, so you do.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Have Once you're a social member with the forty nine
dollars or the scholarship, then for that full year, then
you have access to all the programs, which one of
them is getting access.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
To all these things, the Happy Campers.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
The idea of a support group is so important and
you really don't get that until you need it.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, when my son was young, I mean, all my
friends had typical kids, and so it's hard not to
compare your kids, right, and so they were having issues
with certain things that we all tend to go through
as parents, but my kid had different challenges and it
was hard to relate. I was getting frustrated with myself,
(16:16):
with my friends, with I was frustrated with my feelings
about it all. And so when I went to my
first event, it was an Easter event out at a park,
and I met moms who were just like me. I
didn't even necessarily have to talk to any of them,
just to feel like I found my people, and that
(16:36):
was huge. So I joined immediately, went to my first
event and found out that you don't have to be
one type of person. You just have to be a
mom that's trying their best. In this crazy situation that
life gave us. And as Elizabeth said, that first night
that I was there, it was like, this is the
(16:58):
best group that you never asked to be a part of.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
And it's true.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Because I felt like I was so far underwater that
I couldn't catch my breath. And finally I found myself
able to breathe because I had booi's, which were my
friends and the sisters. Yeah, and it was like I
was given this life boat. And it doesn't mean that
waves don't come crashing and hitting at like the most
(17:25):
inopportune moments. But I also know that all I have
to do is look to my friends and say, hey, like,
can you please help row this boat today? Because I
need a little help. And I know those these moms
are my you know, text in the middle of the
night friends, and you know when we get things that
(17:48):
are yet again another challenge in our life, then I
now have a safe place to process.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Bethany, how did you come in contact with Steel Magnolia.
You're a recent convert.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yes, so I would say last year during show season. So,
like you mentioned, I do watercolor art and I make
a bunch of paper goods out of my artwork, and
during the fall season there's a bunch of markets at
churches at country clubs, and I do lots of those,
and so I had a booth at one of my shows.
(18:24):
And at that point, my daughter was about two years old,
and I had just been hearing about steel Magnolia moms
from just different people here and there.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
What was she diagnosed with?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Okay, so flashback.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
She was born with fetal high drops, which is fluid
in the brain and the abdomen, and she survived that,
which is the first hurdle. Basically resulting from all of that,
she has developmental delays, vision impairments, cerebral palsy, and epilepsy.
And no one really has told us exactly. No one
(19:01):
can tell us exactly what her life will look like.
So I think when she was little, I held on
to a lot of hope. I was like, it's all
going to work out. She's going to be just like
her big siss, Like this is going to be fine.
And we found ourselves just always at the hospital, always
in the er, you know, all the medication, all the therapy.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Just I was just like, it's going to be okay.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
And then at some point I think I realized like,
maybe maybe this road is going to be longer than
I thought. And I had been hearing about Steel Magnolia
Moms and kind of brushing it off because I think
just from people in the community, yeah, and your church
groups and when you're oh yeah, from all yes, all
(19:42):
different parts, people at school, everyone knows somebody, I feel
like that's a member. And so I think there's a
period of denial at the beginning, and I think I
was in that. And then something about meeting Elizabeth at
the market.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I was just chatting with you.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
I didn't even know who you were, and something about
just our stories. You know, you can just dive straight in,
you can just go deep. I mean we went deep
within like two minutes of talking to each other. We
were crying. I think we were crying. And then you
said your name and I said, wait a second, are
you the Elizabeth Elder that started Steel Magnolia Moms, Like
(20:20):
I've done some research and you said yes, and I
was like, this is God telling me right now to join.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
It was kismet. I mean, we totally hit it off,
and I think, ah, there's this like unspeakable connection between
Steel Magnolia Moms because you immediately understand just how hard
that woman's motherhood has been. And you also immediately know
(20:49):
what a bad ass she is and how strong she is,
and there is just this level of understanding that you
don't even have to go into the particulars. You just
look at each other and I'm telling you, Laurent, you
have this immediate bond and just right and but it's
(21:13):
also like you're looking at each other with these big smiles,
like we are right now because you're like, I see
you and I know what you've gone through without even
having to talk about it, and I like, I'm now
so excited because I just got a friend that I
can totally relate to and it's it's amazing. And I
remember Cindy won a massage from one of the I
(21:34):
think it's the first event you went to something, and
I ended up bumping into her at the Houstonian at
the spot and she was like, oh my gosh, I'm
here using my massage, and it just we were so
excited to see each other.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
It's a really powerful feeling when you know that you
are understood and that somebody sees you beyond just you know.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
We don't realize that most of that is because of
a lack of human contact of the right kind. And
very often people who are depressed are alone. And the
people who are dealing with particularly difficult situations, including serious diseases,
especially guys, we tend to just close in. I'll deal
with it, you know, I don't want to bother anybody
else with my problems. And that's actually the exact wrong strategy,
(22:20):
is the opposite of what you should do.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
And I think that the human spirit is so it's
so strong, but it's it's almost magnetic. There. There is
a force of positivity and empowerment, and we literally can
recharge ourselves by just being with other people, and those
(22:44):
other people are understanding of your situation or you know,
can relate to you. Then it's even it's like supercharged.
So our events are fun there, they're positive. You know.
We love to give these moms a wonderful time because
we know that they don't get a lot of opportunities
(23:06):
as caregivers to leave the house and go hang out
with the girls, and so we always want to make
it worth their while. But it's always just exciting because
and when I come home from them, I have to
tell you, like I literally feel like I'm buzzing. I
feel like my I am operating on a higher vibration
(23:27):
because I have been able to absorb all of this
positive energy and strength from these fellow women, and it's,
as Cindy said, it is life giving and the beautiful thing.
It doesn't just stop with me. I go home and
guess what happens. I'm then able to share that higher
(23:50):
vibration with my husband, with my children, with my friends.
It is. It's building a community that is positive and
celebrating the joys that we get from raising our children
with special needs. There are challenges who like, that's a
whole other show of what we really deal with. But
(24:14):
when you can change your perspective, and I think that
that's one of the things that we all bond on too,
is we have a common appreciation for the small, simple
pleasures in life. We've had to adjust, We've had to
recalibrate because I've never celebrated my two older children walking
on their own, and I never will celebrate that with Blair.
(24:39):
But I tell you that when he said I love you, mom,
and it may not be very understandable to anybody else,
but I know that that's what he's saying, Oh my gosh,
I start clapping. We're all clapping. I mean my whole family,
my greater family in Houston. I tell them little things
that Blair has done, and anybody else who doesn't know
(25:01):
of our situation may be a little confused, like, man,
why is this whole family so excited? But when they
know Blair, they know how significant that is, and we
celebrate it all and imagine going through life where it
doesn't take that much to start clapping or dancing or
you know, you end up going through life in a
(25:21):
much more joyful and appreciative way, which is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
What about the dads, because I know you haven't forgotten them.
This is an organization that specializes and it's a woman's support.
But of course that means that you have to deal
with the dads.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Are you talking about our balls of Steel?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
So you do have a father's you have a father
chapter which is called balls of Steel.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Well, yes, so it's kind of an unofficial chapter, but
we do an annual dinner with dads and where we've
gone to the Astros game. Actually, the Astros Foundation has
been so generous and for the last two years has
treated us to the that beautiful outfield suite that's you know,
(26:07):
on the ground level, and so we've taken fifty couples
and wow, yeah, no, it's it's big time. And on
the shield it is so funny. Yeah, we get to
go in the field and take pictures and Valdez is
right there warming up because you're right next to the
picture box. And so it's been a lot of fun
(26:28):
and it's a great opportunity for the dads to meet
and the comfort of their wives because like you said,
they don't really seek that out as often as.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
We because of her. Really, I'm happy to be here
because I need it too. Yeah. We're like that's hey,
you make us. Yeah, so maybe you can explain it
to us. It's like, why, Well, honestly, it's it's a
fairly useful trait, it really is. It's it's a detriment
sometimes you got you have to learn how to manage it.
But the idea that you can just tuck everything in
(26:58):
and pick up an axe and and go fix.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
The problem.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Pretty useful. Pretty useful throughout history. It's been proven to
be useful anyway. So in order to get yourself out,
there's an easy way you can put your finger in
the machine sort of speak and let it drag you
in so to speak. You can go to Steel Magnoliamoms
dot com, Steel Magnoliamoms dot com. Elizabeth tell us about
(27:23):
your upcoming event.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Oh well, we would love for everybody to come see us.
We have our annual holiday market on Thursday, November seventh
at the Powder Keg and it's wonderful. We have over
fifty local vendors selling goods, including Bethany, including Bethany our
callers will be there yet, yes, but there's food, there
(27:46):
are cocktails. We have a Sana that has been certified
and morgan Land, which is a special needs camp and
amusement park. And so that's actually a really big deal
that he has this special certification and really knows how
to interact with children with special needs.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's really nice.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah, it's fantastic. So actually, and Santa and Missus Claus
will be there and then we have fantastic raffle prizes.
And the vendors are wonderful. They're all local. They sell
everything from jewelry to accessories, gifts. We have food, We
(28:27):
have the Macaroons. I know you know you love Kate Macarens.
She will be a vendor. Laurent. You'll have to come
see us.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Kate was on the show last year and she made
macaroons and they were the best I've ever had. And
I'm French. It is true.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Well they really are. I agree, they're so good.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, the water collars and the macaroons, both colorful creations.
One of them is delicious.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Love for everybody comes to see us. It's just five dollars
to come, and one of ours.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
For the organization. Yes, so the vendors are donating.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
The vendors their booth fees go back to the organization.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, they are donating.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
And the and then the raffle tickets and the admission
five dollars admission. All that goes back to Steel Magnoia Moms.
And as this market grows, which it has, our programming
gets to grow. So please come see us, including.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
The scholarships for the kids to go to special camps
or for the moms to just participate.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
And the mental health support that we offer.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
You'll find all the information you need to join. It's
free to join. There's a Facebook page that you sign
up for and if you have any questions related to Houston, PA,
just send me an email, I'll send you their information
or consider the nonprofit organization you have started. That's what
happened with Elizabeth Elder and shout out to our friend
Tiffany Williams, who's recovering from the flu. Unfortunately she was
(29:49):
going to be here today, but she's the reason why
we're here. She called me up and said, Laurent, I'm
part of this small fledging organization. It was started by
a woman out of nothing. You want to talk about it.
I said, yes, you might be one of those people,
and I want to talk to you too. Texan from
France at gmail dot com. I want to thank you
for listening and caring about the issues I put on
(30:10):
this show. My name is Laurent. I am the Texan
from France and this has been Houston PA, Houston's public
affairs show, Houston Strong.
Welcome to Houston, PA, Houston's public affairs show, an iHeartMedia broadcast.
Our disclaimer says that the opinion is express on this
show do not necessarily reflect those hell by this radio station,
its management staff, for any of its advertisers. My name
is Laurent I am the Texan from France and I
get to welcome Steele Magnolia Moms on the show again.
(00:29):
There are support group from moms who have kids with
special needs, and their founder, Elizabeth Elder, is someone who
discovered that she was having problems finding other people who
were dealing with the same stresses and challenges in her life.
Elizabeth is mother to annabel Blair and Clark, and Annabelle
(00:52):
had Lee syndrome. She passed away about three years ago. Blair,
her brother, who's thirteen now were almost thirteen, also has
Lee syndrome. He's striving and doing well in Clarcus seven.
And she discovered that losing a child was something that
was particularly lonely if you didn't have anybody else around
you who even had any idea of what you were
dealing with, and so she created Steel Magnolia Moms. And
(01:16):
what's extraordinary to me about this story is that it
is the most foundational example of the can do spirit
I've met in Texas and Houston since I moved there
in the early nineties. You know, you can incorporate a
business by just going to city hall and paying a
small fee and running down. You're at your business address
and you're done. You are in business as legally registered
(01:36):
Americans don't appreciate just how amazing that is. That the
fact that our bureaucracy, which is unfortunately growing, is not
so big yet that you can't do things. And when
it comes to creating nonprofits, and Steel Magnolia Moms is
a legit five oh one C three licensed nonprofit organization,
all it takes really is the will to do it
(01:56):
in the elbow grease. And it's the elbow grease that
most of us we don't go from hey, I'd like
to do something like this to actually doing it. But
in Houston we have a higher concentration of can do spirit,
so to speak, and that's what Elizabeth Elder has contributed
to our community. We have this new organization called Steel
Magnolia Moms. If you're a mother with special needs, you
can go to Steel Magnoliamoms dot com. And find a
(02:20):
support group instantly, and it's there. It's a bunch of
moms that are in a similar situation, that are dealing
with very serious problems, and they support each other by
doing nice things for each other. I guess the nicest
thing they do for each other is to ashally lend
an ear to each other. With Elizabeth Elder today is
Bethany Sower. She is a member of the Steel Magnolia Moms.
(02:42):
She's also an artist. She's a watercolor Arliss. She gave
me some beautiful Texas flag cards. She's been in business
since twenty seventeen, I think, and she met Elizabeth at
an event where they start talking about the art and
discover that they had a lot in common. Bethany is
mom to Reagan who is five, Hartley who is three,
(03:04):
and Tatum, who is one. Bethany's business be Sweet Ink.
Her last name is sour, so her business name is
be Sweet You Gotta love it Now. She contributes to
Magnolia Moms and with them is Cindy Mood. Cindy is
the membership chair for Magnolia Moms. So she put some
Elburg reads in the on the back office. If you will.
(03:25):
She has mother du Zippy who is three, and Loreena,
who is five. We mentioned I don't usually mention people's
kids when I introduce them, but I do it this
time because that's what Steel Magnolia Moms is all about.
It's about the kids and fostering an environment for the
mothers who create these wonderful kids and take care of them.
And Elizabeth, I know that I've kind of briefly gone
(03:46):
over the purpose of your organization, but it's worth mentioning
that you were just having a conversation with other ladies
in a hairshop, if I remember correctly.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Very close and then nail salon.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Okay, all right, fine, it's the hair on your finger front, Lauren.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
I was getting my nails polished and overheard two women
talking about their recent trip to Disney and kind of
the best way to cut the lines, and one of
them had a hack that without having to pay for
the expensive right, yes, exactly there No, but one of
(04:22):
them said, well, man, if my kids just you know,
had a wheelchair, perhaps I could rent one. And ironically,
my eldest daughter, Annabelle, had just gotten her first wheelchair
and I was having a very hard time accepting it,
and it was parked in the corner of our dining
room and had it been used, and so anyway, it
that led me to it kind of lit a fire
(04:47):
where I wanted to advocate for my children and I
wanted these two moms to have a teachable moment, and
so ended up going on to Facebook and reaching out
to the name group and said, you know, listen, your
children are so lucky to have legs that are strong
enough to stand in line. And from there I had
(05:10):
so many moms comment that they also had children with
special needs. And it was remarkable because prior to that
I had felt so alone and I suddenly had all
these women coming together, and from that we've built this
beautiful sisterhood and nonprofit organization where we are supporting moms
(05:34):
and their families through programs and events, and it's just
it's wonderful. It's it has saved me and many dark
periods of my life, including when Annabelle passed away, and
now I have all these beautiful women, two of them
sitting here next to me, helping to grow this organization
(05:55):
so we can really meet the meet the needs of
these moms.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
When you sent out your missive on Facebook and we've
all done that right, but usually it just dies in
a dark corner of the Internet, which is where they belong.
But this cry for help brought in a bunch of
people to chime in, and I wonder how many of
them did you know? Do you know what percentage of
them were new people? Did your post reach people outside
of your circles or oh one percent? Okay, so we're
(06:21):
talking about a lot of people writing in.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Yes. In fact, I think the organization the Sorry the
group on Facebook at the time, had like eleven thousand
members and okay, wow, okay, you know it was a
large group, neighborhood based and memorial all the women who
came in to say, oh my gosh, I also have
a child with special needs. Had I heard that, that
really would have struck a chord too, or I would
(06:46):
not have been as nice I would have. You know,
wopped that lady upside the head, all the different comments
you did something better? Well? And actually what was funny
about that is I did the post. I was letting
my toenails dry, and then I thought, well, this is
going to be all for not if these moms don't
read it. So before I left, I walked up to
one of them and I was like, hey, are you
(07:07):
and your friend happened to be on this specific Facebook group?
And she said, uh huh. And I was like, oh, okay, great,
well there's a post. I just I think that the
two of you should read it. And she gave me
this really nice smile. I was like, great, thanks, I
look forward to it and immediately I thought, oh gosh,
I got to high tail it out of here. So anyway,
(07:28):
that's how it all.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Funus and get out. That's the strategy. Yeah, So, Elizabeth,
when I mentioned earlier that it was so easy to
incorporate a business in this country, it's similarly easy to
create a nonprofit. It's paperwork, a little bit of ailable grease,
but most people don't do it. What we're interested is,
why did you go from thinking about something You had
(07:52):
this idea, You found out that others thought it was
a good idea for some reason. Unlike most people, you
earned your idea into reality. What was to trigger? How
can we inspire people who are listening. There's somebody listening
to this show right now. They're thinking to themselves, I've
had an idea for something that helps the community. I
just having gotten off my butt to actually do it,
(08:14):
but I know it would work, so we know it's
a trigger.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, it really grew organically, and I'll say the first
trigger was my personal need for it. At the time,
I had two children, both of whom had special needs,
and I felt so completely alone. And as soon as
these women responded to my post and had that, we
immediately had that connection. But it was on a Facebook group.
(08:40):
I wanted to meet these moms in person. I wanted
to hug them, I wanted to cry with them, I
wanted to laugh with them. I wanted them to be
my friends. And I think that that's the key word
because with still Magnoia Moms, we foster friendships. We do
it in many different ways, and we also have programs.
But at the end of the day, if I had
helped facilitate a new friend for a mom who is
(09:03):
felt alone, then I feel like we've done the greatest service,
because that's that's the gift that can keep giving. So
I originally started it by organizing a fun mom's night out.
And when I saw the passion of these moms when
(09:24):
they came together, and the power of the collective energy,
this beautiful, feminine, strong energy coming together, it was recharging
and it was so inspiring to me, and I went
home that night just feeling so fired up and so
(09:44):
hopeful for our future and my children's future. And I
don't know it did it sparks something in me? And
I have not done it alone. What's so wonderful about
Still Magnoia Moms? As we continued to grow, and we
were very much supported by the moms. I mean really,
(10:07):
all of our volunteers are the moms, the chairs, you know,
the original board of directors, they were all Still Magnoia
Moms themselves, and so it's easy for us to then
figure out the best way to support them. I don't know,
it's amazing. It has been fun to watch, and it
has been such an honor to lead these women and
(10:30):
to be joined with these by these women all my life.
It's such a testament to the kind of leader that
you are because you have just this passion and this
excitement and just the fact that you're social and you're
you're ready to like have a good time. I walked
(10:51):
into this group terrified.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
I was like thinking, again, we were just going to
talk about our kids and just cry all the time.
And I'm like, wait, we can all just relate and
kind of leave it there and then like build relationships
on that. I walk out of those meetings proud to
be a Steel Magnolia Mom. I'm like so thankful that
I'm able to be part of this group and like
go deep with these relationships right off the bat, because
(11:14):
we all automatically know we have a herd. But we're
gonna be okay and we're gonna be better because of this. Yeah,
you've created something amazing.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
No, thank you, Bethany.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You are listening to Houston PA, Houston's Public Affairs Show.
My name is Laurent and my guests to there are
here from Steel Magnolia Moms. They're online at Steel Magnolia
Moms dot com. That's your fourth first point of contact.
That's very easy to remember. Steal Magnolia moms dot com.
If you actually want to sign up, it's free and
(11:45):
all you have to do is follow a link on
their website. You go to the Facebook page. Obviously, a
small organization like this has been wise to use an
established platform for communication, and so Elizabeth Elder, the founder
of Steel Magne Moms, is taken care of all of that.
She has a staff to help. But you get in contact,
and as I mentioned earlier, it's an instant support group
(12:08):
that you have instantly, you'll be invited to the first
event if you have concerns and any questions. It's an
immediate fountain of knowledge and support. And I think that
it's we can only overlook how important that is to
help ourselves psychologically and emotionally when we're going through something difficult.
(12:31):
With Elizabeth Elder is Bethany Souer. She is a member
and she's a watercolor artist. She's a vendor and you'll
be able to see her work if you frequent Steel
Magnolia Moms and Cindy mood is their membership chair. Cindy
will let me ask you, since you're actually in the organization,
how did you get in? How did you meet with it?
(12:52):
And I guess before you answer that, I wanted to
mention that what Elizabeth described and what triggered her into
creating this organization as a simple matter of will, most
of us aren't leaders. Fewer of us are leaders, and
we should be thankful that we live in a community
(13:12):
like Texas and Houston that fosters that kind of thinking,
because we just have a higher rate of people like
that that come up in our society and create this organizations.
Houston is really rich in philanthropy is because it's full
of people like Elizabeth Elder and Bethany and Cindy who
get on board of these organizations and make them work.
How old is your son?
Speaker 4 (13:32):
My son, Zippy is three years old. And when he
was a baby, it was overwhelming. I just felt like
I was drowning all the time. I couldn't get my
head above water. It was a lot to manage all
of his appointments and all of the new information that
I was having to digest emotionally and also physically, just
taking care of him along with his sister, who was
(13:56):
not even two years old when he was born.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
What was he diagnosed with?
Speaker 4 (14:00):
He has a rare condition called arthro grayposis, and arthro
grayposis basically means stiff joints, weak muscles.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
It's so he has mobility problems.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
Yes, it's a muscular skeletal condition.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah. So obviously he needs a lot of help, and
he has an active little sister.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Yeah, So how did you find out about magnolia?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Mom?
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Yeah, so when I was at one of his appointments,
then the one of the therapists said, oh, do you
know about Steel Magnolia Moms And I said, I have
never heard of that. That's another new thing for me
to figure out. And she's like, oh no, no, you
don't have to figure anything out about it. You just
have to be a mom, which you already are, to
special needs kid, which you already are, and you will
(14:44):
have a support group. And I was like, Okay, tell
me more. And so I looked it up and it's
free to become a member on Facebook and join the group.
But I quickly learned that if I wanted to do
even more than that, I could just forty nine dollars
for the year and I could be a social member,
which basically gave me full access to all the events
(15:05):
and programs. And they also have scholarships if you need
a scholarship, by the way.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
So you can't ask.
Speaker 4 (15:10):
That's now very great for anybody on any budget.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
These scholarships for the kids or for the moms.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well both scholarship to be a social member, because we
don't want anybody to not have.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
The scholarship is for the membership.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
Now we do scholarships for camps and our Happy Campers program.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
That's separate Yeah, okay, so you do.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Have Once you're a social member with the forty nine
dollars or the scholarship, then for that full year, then
you have access to all the programs, which one of
them is getting access.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
To all these things, the Happy Campers.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
The idea of a support group is so important and
you really don't get that until you need it.
Speaker 4 (15:54):
Yeah, when my son was young, I mean, all my
friends had typical kids, and so it's hard not to
compare your kids, right, and so they were having issues
with certain things that we all tend to go through
as parents, but my kid had different challenges and it
was hard to relate. I was getting frustrated with myself,
(16:16):
with my friends, with I was frustrated with my feelings
about it all. And so when I went to my
first event, it was an Easter event out at a park,
and I met moms who were just like me. I
didn't even necessarily have to talk to any of them,
just to feel like I found my people, and that
(16:36):
was huge. So I joined immediately, went to my first
event and found out that you don't have to be
one type of person. You just have to be a
mom that's trying their best. In this crazy situation that
life gave us. And as Elizabeth said, that first night
that I was there, it was like, this is the
(16:58):
best group that you never asked to be a part of.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
And it's true.
Speaker 4 (17:02):
Because I felt like I was so far underwater that
I couldn't catch my breath. And finally I found myself
able to breathe because I had booi's, which were my
friends and the sisters. Yeah, and it was like I
was given this life boat. And it doesn't mean that
waves don't come crashing and hitting at like the most
(17:25):
inopportune moments. But I also know that all I have
to do is look to my friends and say, hey, like,
can you please help row this boat today? Because I
need a little help. And I know those these moms
are my you know, text in the middle of the
night friends, and you know when we get things that
(17:48):
are yet again another challenge in our life, then I
now have a safe place to process.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Bethany, how did you come in contact with Steel Magnolia.
You're a recent convert.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Yes, so I would say last year during show season. So,
like you mentioned, I do watercolor art and I make
a bunch of paper goods out of my artwork, and
during the fall season there's a bunch of markets at
churches at country clubs, and I do lots of those,
and so I had a booth at one of my shows.
(18:24):
And at that point, my daughter was about two years old,
and I had just been hearing about steel Magnolia moms
from just different people here and there.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
What was she diagnosed with?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Okay, so flashback.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
She was born with fetal high drops, which is fluid
in the brain and the abdomen, and she survived that,
which is the first hurdle. Basically resulting from all of that,
she has developmental delays, vision impairments, cerebral palsy, and epilepsy.
And no one really has told us exactly. No one
(19:01):
can tell us exactly what her life will look like.
So I think when she was little, I held on
to a lot of hope. I was like, it's all
going to work out. She's going to be just like
her big siss, Like this is going to be fine.
And we found ourselves just always at the hospital, always
in the er, you know, all the medication, all the therapy.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
Just I was just like, it's going to be okay.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
And then at some point I think I realized like,
maybe maybe this road is going to be longer than
I thought. And I had been hearing about Steel Magnolia
Moms and kind of brushing it off because I think
just from people in the community, yeah, and your church
groups and when you're oh yeah, from all yes, all
(19:42):
different parts, people at school, everyone knows somebody, I feel
like that's a member. And so I think there's a
period of denial at the beginning, and I think I
was in that. And then something about meeting Elizabeth at
the market.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I was just chatting with you.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
I didn't even know who you were, and something about
just our stories. You know, you can just dive straight in,
you can just go deep. I mean we went deep
within like two minutes of talking to each other. We
were crying. I think we were crying. And then you
said your name and I said, wait a second, are
you the Elizabeth Elder that started Steel Magnolia Moms, Like
(20:20):
I've done some research and you said yes, and I
was like, this is God telling me right now to join.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
It was kismet. I mean, we totally hit it off,
and I think, ah, there's this like unspeakable connection between
Steel Magnolia Moms because you immediately understand just how hard
that woman's motherhood has been. And you also immediately know
(20:49):
what a bad ass she is and how strong she is,
and there is just this level of understanding that you
don't even have to go into the particulars. You just
look at each other and I'm telling you, Laurent, you
have this immediate bond and just right and but it's
(21:13):
also like you're looking at each other with these big smiles,
like we are right now because you're like, I see
you and I know what you've gone through without even
having to talk about it, and I like, I'm now
so excited because I just got a friend that I
can totally relate to and it's it's amazing. And I
remember Cindy won a massage from one of the I
(21:34):
think it's the first event you went to something, and
I ended up bumping into her at the Houstonian at
the spot and she was like, oh my gosh, I'm
here using my massage, and it just we were so
excited to see each other.
Speaker 4 (21:49):
It's a really powerful feeling when you know that you
are understood and that somebody sees you beyond just you know.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
We don't realize that most of that is because of
a lack of human contact of the right kind. And
very often people who are depressed are alone. And the
people who are dealing with particularly difficult situations, including serious diseases,
especially guys, we tend to just close in. I'll deal
with it, you know, I don't want to bother anybody
else with my problems. And that's actually the exact wrong strategy,
(22:20):
is the opposite of what you should do.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
And I think that the human spirit is so it's
so strong, but it's it's almost magnetic. There. There is
a force of positivity and empowerment, and we literally can
recharge ourselves by just being with other people, and those
(22:44):
other people are understanding of your situation or you know,
can relate to you. Then it's even it's like supercharged.
So our events are fun there, they're positive. You know.
We love to give these moms a wonderful time because
we know that they don't get a lot of opportunities
(23:06):
as caregivers to leave the house and go hang out
with the girls, and so we always want to make
it worth their while. But it's always just exciting because
and when I come home from them, I have to
tell you, like I literally feel like I'm buzzing. I
feel like my I am operating on a higher vibration
(23:27):
because I have been able to absorb all of this
positive energy and strength from these fellow women, and it's,
as Cindy said, it is life giving and the beautiful thing.
It doesn't just stop with me. I go home and
guess what happens. I'm then able to share that higher
(23:50):
vibration with my husband, with my children, with my friends.
It is. It's building a community that is positive and
celebrating the joys that we get from raising our children
with special needs. There are challenges who like, that's a
whole other show of what we really deal with. But
(24:14):
when you can change your perspective, and I think that
that's one of the things that we all bond on too,
is we have a common appreciation for the small, simple
pleasures in life. We've had to adjust, We've had to
recalibrate because I've never celebrated my two older children walking
on their own, and I never will celebrate that with Blair.
(24:39):
But I tell you that when he said I love you, mom,
and it may not be very understandable to anybody else,
but I know that that's what he's saying, Oh my gosh,
I start clapping. We're all clapping. I mean my whole family,
my greater family in Houston. I tell them little things
that Blair has done, and anybody else who doesn't know
(25:01):
of our situation may be a little confused, like, man,
why is this whole family so excited? But when they
know Blair, they know how significant that is, and we
celebrate it all and imagine going through life where it
doesn't take that much to start clapping or dancing or
you know, you end up going through life in a
(25:21):
much more joyful and appreciative way, which is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
What about the dads, because I know you haven't forgotten them.
This is an organization that specializes and it's a woman's support.
But of course that means that you have to deal
with the dads.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Are you talking about our balls of Steel?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
So you do have a father's you have a father
chapter which is called balls of Steel.
Speaker 2 (25:46):
Well, yes, so it's kind of an unofficial chapter, but
we do an annual dinner with dads and where we've
gone to the Astros game. Actually, the Astros Foundation has
been so generous and for the last two years has
treated us to the that beautiful outfield suite that's you know,
(26:07):
on the ground level, and so we've taken fifty couples
and wow, yeah, no, it's it's big time. And on
the shield it is so funny. Yeah, we get to
go in the field and take pictures and Valdez is
right there warming up because you're right next to the
picture box. And so it's been a lot of fun
(26:28):
and it's a great opportunity for the dads to meet
and the comfort of their wives because like you said,
they don't really seek that out as often as.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
We because of her. Really, I'm happy to be here
because I need it too. Yeah. We're like that's hey,
you make us. Yeah, so maybe you can explain it
to us. It's like, why, Well, honestly, it's it's a
fairly useful trait, it really is. It's it's a detriment
sometimes you got you have to learn how to manage it.
But the idea that you can just tuck everything in
(26:58):
and pick up an axe and and go fix.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
The problem.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Pretty useful. Pretty useful throughout history. It's been proven to
be useful anyway. So in order to get yourself out,
there's an easy way you can put your finger in
the machine sort of speak and let it drag you
in so to speak. You can go to Steel Magnoliamoms
dot com, Steel Magnoliamoms dot com. Elizabeth tell us about
(27:23):
your upcoming event.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Oh well, we would love for everybody to come see us.
We have our annual holiday market on Thursday, November seventh
at the Powder Keg and it's wonderful. We have over
fifty local vendors selling goods, including Bethany, including Bethany our
callers will be there yet, yes, but there's food, there
(27:46):
are cocktails. We have a Sana that has been certified
and morgan Land, which is a special needs camp and
amusement park. And so that's actually a really big deal
that he has this special certification and really knows how
to interact with children with special needs.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
It's really nice.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Yeah, it's fantastic. So actually, and Santa and Missus Claus
will be there and then we have fantastic raffle prizes.
And the vendors are wonderful. They're all local. They sell
everything from jewelry to accessories, gifts. We have food, We
(28:27):
have the Macaroons. I know you know you love Kate Macarens.
She will be a vendor. Laurent. You'll have to come
see us.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Kate was on the show last year and she made
macaroons and they were the best I've ever had. And
I'm French. It is true.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Well they really are. I agree, they're so good.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah, the water collars and the macaroons, both colorful creations.
One of them is delicious.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Love for everybody comes to see us. It's just five dollars
to come, and one of ours.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
For the organization. Yes, so the vendors are donating.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
The vendors their booth fees go back to the organization.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
Yeah, they are donating.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
And the and then the raffle tickets and the admission
five dollars admission. All that goes back to Steel Magnoia Moms.
And as this market grows, which it has, our programming
gets to grow. So please come see us, including.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
The scholarships for the kids to go to special camps
or for the moms to just participate.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
And the mental health support that we offer.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
You'll find all the information you need to join. It's
free to join. There's a Facebook page that you sign
up for and if you have any questions related to Houston, PA,
just send me an email, I'll send you their information
or consider the nonprofit organization you have started. That's what
happened with Elizabeth Elder and shout out to our friend
Tiffany Williams, who's recovering from the flu. Unfortunately she was
(29:49):
going to be here today, but she's the reason why
we're here. She called me up and said, Laurent, I'm
part of this small fledging organization. It was started by
a woman out of nothing. You want to talk about it.
I said, yes, you might be one of those people,
and I want to talk to you too. Texan from
France at gmail dot com. I want to thank you
for listening and caring about the issues I put on
(30:10):
this show. My name is Laurent. I am the Texan
from France and this has been Houston PA, Houston's public
affairs show, Houston Strong.
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